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Booyakasha.
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Check it!
3
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People has been readin' books
for millions of years.
4
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But thanks to new technology,
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now they is able
to write them as well.
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That's why I is off to new york
7
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to sell
some book ideas. Bo!
8
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I has written a romance book.
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The title is
10
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a kiss on the lips.
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Not those ones,
you dirty devil.
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Normal ones.
13
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Who knows hos more than
anyone else in the world?
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Me.
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This is written from a man
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who has boned over 6 bitches.
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And 9, if you include
fingers and thumbs.
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It's called the crown.
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The story is this:
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Some terrorists
21
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come into the u.K.
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And they manage
to stick a grenade
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up the queen's punani.
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And like, I is got 48 hours
to get it out.
25
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Now, I didn't quite
hear what you said.
26
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Where has
this bomb been hidden?
27
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In her punay.
28
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That's a little... that's a
little bit off, uh, off-kilter.
29
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That's more of
a thriller espionage,
30
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and I do primarily
science fiction.
31
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All right, well, I can set
it, like, on a spaceship.
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Does you know how much money
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the film lord of the rings
has made?
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I have no idea.
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Literally,
thousands of dollars.
36
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Hundreds, millions of dollars.
37
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Me is gonna write
a book version
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of the film
lord of the rings.
39
00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:37,621
But there is a book
called the lord of the rings.
40
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The... the movie was based
on a book
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called lord of the rings.
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Problem is, when bitches
is reading it on the bus
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or in the library,
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them don't have the privacy
to strum their own banjo.
45
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You know?
Flick their own baked bean.
46
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Yeah.
47
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So, the answer is
that this book
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stimulate not only the mind,
49
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but also the punani.
50
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How ? I'll show you.
51
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It vibrate.
52
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I would say this would be
a first in publishing.
53
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I've never heard of
anything like this.
54
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Here is the story.
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It start off,
56
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president bush
and his missus, laura,
57
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they is openin'
a swimmin' pool.
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She sees the lifeguard.
59
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She look at his face. Nice.
60
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She look at his bling. Nice.
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She look at his dong.
Very nice.
62
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We is all heard
of world war ii.
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But did you know
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that a few years before that
65
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was something
called world war I?
66
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Yeah, sure.
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I has got new interviews
with germans
68
00:04:12,351 --> 00:04:16,220
and that is gonna, like, throw a
whole new light on the whole thing.
69
00:04:16,288 --> 00:04:17,488
Contemporary germans?
70
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No doubt.
71
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They was, uh, students staying at
me mate ricky c's mom's house.
72
00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:27,599
Me asked one of the girls if her
granddad was arnold hitler.
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You know the one
with the small "tache."
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Yeah, I know who hitler is.
75
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No doubt.
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'Cause she had, like, you
know, a similar one on her...
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00:04:37,309 --> 00:04:40,778
So me was chatting to her,
and the moment me said it,
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she get up,
put her panties back on,
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00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:45,684
and I ain't never
heard from her since.
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Explain that.
81
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You'd have to explain it.
I couldn't explain it.
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She speak like this:
"I can't think like this!
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"Me husband is
the most powerfullest man
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"in the whole world, probably.
85
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:06,771
"The only reason him went
and did that war with iraq
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00:05:06,838 --> 00:05:09,173
"was 'cause I made one comment
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00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:12,876
about what saddam hussein's
cock must be like."
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Interesting.
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I've got one other book idea.
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What is that?
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00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:24,322
I is gonna write
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00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:27,525
president bush's autobiography.
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00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:29,360
You're goin' to
write his biography.
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00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:30,762
Autobiography.
95
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:34,098
Well, yeah, ok.
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00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:38,603
Why would he even consider
listenin' to you?
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3 words.
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$5,000
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00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,613
cash.
100
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That means nothing to him.
101
00:05:51,616 --> 00:05:55,653
All right.
$5 billion.
102
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Where are you goin'
to get $5 billion?
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00:05:57,355 --> 00:05:59,223
That's where you comes in.
104
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,926
Is you up for
handin' over some cash?
105
00:06:01,993 --> 00:06:03,461
Well, I think
the... the most...
106
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,663
You're not gonna like that
figure 'cause it's so low.
107
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:07,331
At this point, the only figure,
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the only amount I could... could
possibly give you
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is, uh, $50 to sign this book.
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I'll take it.
111
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,453
And we start
with a... a laugh.
112
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:31,455
You're laughing at something, as if
I have said something very funny.
113
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,724
And then I will speak
to the camera.
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So, and then we did that!
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Oh, hello.
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Uh, also, so today we're gonna
do a fun little puzzle show.
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It's called in oder aus.
I like that.
118
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It means "in or... or... or out.
" Yes. In or out.
119
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,175
# in, in, in, in.
Out, out, out, out #
120
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:52,276
# in #
121
00:06:52,344 --> 00:06:53,945
# oder aus #
122
00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:57,048
# in aus in aus in aus in aus #
123
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:59,984
# in oder aus #
124
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charlize theron, in or out
of the balloon?
125
00:07:03,989 --> 00:07:05,790
In the balloon.
126
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,224
Ok, why?
127
00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:08,893
Because she just won the oscar.
128
00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:10,862
Because no one really
knew much about her before,
129
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,830
and because
it was an independent film.
130
00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:15,099
Uh, ricky martin,
keep him in the ghetto
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or train to auschwitz?
132
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Hmm, keep him in the ghetto.
133
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Uh, why?
134
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I just... I like him.
135
00:07:21,006 --> 00:07:23,107
So, burt reynolds,
keep him in the ghetto
136
00:07:23,175 --> 00:07:24,375
or train to auschwitz?
137
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,576
Auschwitz.
138
00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:28,011
Liza minnelli, do you
wish her a benign tumor
139
00:07:28,079 --> 00:07:30,348
or a malignant tumor?
140
00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,917
A- actually, maybe malignant
with... with a bomb
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00:07:32,984 --> 00:07:34,052
to drop on top of her.
142
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:38,289
So, jack black, would you
give him candy or cancer?
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00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:39,490
Cancer.
144
00:07:39,558 --> 00:07:40,758
Why?
145
00:07:40,826 --> 00:07:42,126
I don't want to feed him.
146
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Exactly.
147
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:51,469
Oh, that is so bitchy.
I love that.
148
00:07:56,675 --> 00:07:59,077
So we're going to look
at some of the pictures
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00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:01,278
from the golden globes
and the oscars.
150
00:08:01,346 --> 00:08:03,414
Ok, first up, who have we got?
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00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:05,149
Renee zellweger.
152
00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:07,851
So what do you think
of this outfit?
153
00:08:07,919 --> 00:08:08,953
I think it's pretty.
154
00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:11,555
I think it's really safe.
155
00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:14,959
Um, I think
156
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:17,795
like the whole "nice thing"
just doesn't, doesn't work.
157
00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:18,796
Ok, you wanna slam her?
158
00:08:18,864 --> 00:08:21,232
Yeah. So, ok,
renee zellweger,
159
00:08:21,299 --> 00:08:23,000
what do you think
of that outfit?
160
00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:25,503
Well, I... I think
she just looks like hell.
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00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,538
I... I... I just,
you know,
162
00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:29,774
she should be
pushin' up her breasts
163
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,643
and, uh, showing
a little bit more cleavage.
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00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,745
Ok, let's see the next one.
165
00:08:34,813 --> 00:08:37,915
What do you think of that?
Peter jackson.
166
00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:41,052
What's this?
He's showin' up looking like crap.
167
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He looks shit.
168
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,588
And he looks like crap.
169
00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:45,523
That's right.
And you've had 9-11.
170
00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:47,891
Where you've had a massive
attack on america,
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00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:48,993
and then you have this.
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I think he's...
It's like a second...
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00:08:50,929 --> 00:08:53,864
Like not as big, but it's
like a kind of mini 9-11.
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00:08:53,932 --> 00:08:55,800
Yeah, he's a fashion terrorist.
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00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:58,102
Sure. Ok, guys,
gotta get it up.
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00:08:58,169 --> 00:09:02,507
Like, swear like "fuck it."
You say "fuck" or like...
177
00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:05,143
So, ok, who have we got next?
178
00:09:05,877 --> 00:09:07,077
Paris hilton.
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00:09:07,145 --> 00:09:09,814
Oh, my god!
This is disgusting.
180
00:09:09,881 --> 00:09:12,350
I mean, who'd wanna fuck that?
181
00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:16,320
We obviously know that she got
where she is because of her money.
182
00:09:16,388 --> 00:09:18,222
It's not because
she's got any class.
183
00:09:18,289 --> 00:09:19,190
Right.
184
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,624
She has no class at all.
185
00:09:20,692 --> 00:09:23,160
She comes off
like a royal bitch.
186
00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:24,762
As this... as...
187
00:09:24,829 --> 00:09:26,297
We need to have more...
188
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:29,233
Right. No, no, no.
As this channel is, like, part-owned
189
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,702
by the... the hilton group...
190
00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:33,704
Now you tell us.
Well, that's why I was...
191
00:09:33,605 --> 00:09:35,406
Forget it.
We'll do that again.
192
00:09:35,407 --> 00:09:37,141
Ok, who's next?
193
00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:38,709
Oh, yeah.
Great, paris hilton!
194
00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:40,211
What do you think of her?
195
00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:42,346
Hot!
Here is a star.
196
00:09:42,413 --> 00:09:43,881
Now, here's a star.
197
00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:46,651
This is how every girl on the
red carpet should dress.
198
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:49,120
Why do you think she's
so respected in america?
199
00:09:49,187 --> 00:09:54,925
Uh, I... I love everything there
is about the... the hilton family.
200
00:09:54,993 --> 00:09:57,261
And I just... I just think
she's great.
201
00:10:03,969 --> 00:10:06,704
Diggity, check yourself
before you wreck yourself,
202
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:11,108
'cause I be here with none
other than my man, john naber.
203
00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:14,612
Him be president
of the u.S. Olympians.
204
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:19,116
And today we is chattin' about
none other than the olympics.
205
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:21,185
The olympics is well
important, isn't it?
206
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:24,188
It seems to be the one thing
that holds the world together
207
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:25,255
in the world of sport.
208
00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:29,093
Aye. So, where is the olympics
bein' held this year?
209
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,861
In athens, greece.
210
00:10:30,929 --> 00:10:32,362
In greece?
Yeah.
211
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:34,765
Why is it being held in a,
212
00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:37,768
excuse my french,
bit of a crap country?
213
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:39,971
The... the city of athens
was the city
214
00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:43,073
where the very first modern
olympics was ever held
215
00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:44,541
in 1896.
216
00:10:44,609 --> 00:10:47,611
So, what other type of
olympics is there?
217
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:53,184
The only other type of olympics
I know of is something called
218
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,386
the special olympics.
219
00:10:55,453 --> 00:10:58,155
Is the prize money really bad
for the special olympics?
220
00:10:58,223 --> 00:11:02,026
Because, uh, I has seen
some of them,
221
00:11:02,093 --> 00:11:05,162
and without bein'
disrespectful or anythin',
222
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,598
a lot of the contestants
seemed a bit spasticated.
223
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:08,833
Yeah, they are.
224
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:11,335
But the level there
is pretty low.
225
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,137
I mean, they ain't, you know...
226
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,073
I mean, I reckon
I could beat a lot of 'em.
227
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,908
Well, you... you
probably could.
228
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:25,082
Me heard there is drug
testing at the olympics.
229
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:26,317
There sure is.
Is that true?
230
00:11:26,384 --> 00:11:28,619
Yes.
Is that the bestest event?
231
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,688
Uh, drug testing
in the olympics
232
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:34,291
is basically, they take some
urine from the athletes
233
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:36,260
and they run it through
a machine aye.
234
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:38,529
That detects if there's
any drugs in there.
235
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:40,097
So what does you do to them
236
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:41,866
if you finds
they's been taking drugs?
237
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:43,300
You kick 'em out.
238
00:11:43,368 --> 00:11:44,769
Why does you disqualify them
239
00:11:44,836 --> 00:11:46,403
if them is on drugs?
240
00:11:46,471 --> 00:11:48,639
I mean, if anything, surely you
should be giving them a head start.
241
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:51,642
'Cause I know if I
is like totally mashed,
242
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,644
I can hardly be asked
to get off the sofa,
243
00:11:53,711 --> 00:11:55,946
let alone walk to the fridge.
244
00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:58,182
Yeah. Yeah, if they...
Let alone do a race.
245
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,250
That's a good point.
246
00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:00,785
If it was recreational drugs,
247
00:12:00,852 --> 00:12:02,486
they should give them
a head start.
248
00:12:02,553 --> 00:12:04,054
So,
249
00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:07,825
is you upset that you
can buy olympic medals?
250
00:12:07,892 --> 00:12:10,194
Where can you buy them?
Oh, like on ebay?
251
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:13,397
Oh, no, like me nan bought
me one from egham market
252
00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:15,199
near staines where me live,
253
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:17,368
for, like, "best grandson."
254
00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:18,902
Ain't that wrong?
255
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:22,573
Well, I would doubt that you
could buy an olympic medal.
256
00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:25,008
You can buy a medal...
No, it was an olympic one.
257
00:12:25,076 --> 00:12:28,845
It had all the signs and all that,
and it said "best grandson."
258
00:12:28,913 --> 00:12:32,116
Oh, well, I... I... I don't think
it was a real olympic medal
259
00:12:32,183 --> 00:12:33,850
because the real olympic medals
260
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,553
don't say "best grandson."
261
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:38,555
So, who did win the olympic
medal for "best grandson"?
262
00:12:38,623 --> 00:12:40,391
I don't think they
have that as an event.
263
00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:41,692
Like they don't have rapping.
264
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,427
They don't have
"best grandson."
265
00:12:43,495 --> 00:12:46,163
Well, this was definitely
proper medal,
266
00:12:46,231 --> 00:12:47,832
and me nan said it was real.
267
00:12:47,899 --> 00:12:50,468
Well, I'm not telling
your nan she's a liar.
268
00:12:50,535 --> 00:12:52,669
I'm just telling her
I've never seen it.
269
00:12:57,609 --> 00:13:01,045
Is most world records
set at the olympics?
270
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,145
It's hard to say.
271
00:13:02,213 --> 00:13:04,047
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
272
00:13:04,115 --> 00:13:06,417
Was the world record
for the tallest man
273
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:07,918
set at the olympics?
274
00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:08,986
No.
275
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:10,554
The world's record
for the tallest man
276
00:13:10,621 --> 00:13:12,690
is not an olympic competition.
277
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:15,058
That's just a guinness book
of world records' record.
278
00:13:15,126 --> 00:13:17,694
So what about the record
for the longest mustache?
279
00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:20,298
No, no, that was not
an olympic sport either.
280
00:13:20,365 --> 00:13:24,235
Somebody said it-it-it's possible
to be the world's tallest midget,
281
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,369
but how do you know?
282
00:13:26,437 --> 00:13:28,372
What ? Well,
you measure them, innit?
283
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,141
Yeah, but... but how do you know
the world's tallest midget?
284
00:13:31,209 --> 00:13:34,278
Well, you'd have to...
With a ruler, innit?
285
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:36,747
Yeah, but how do you know
what makes a midget?
286
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:39,049
Maybe I'm the world's
tallest midget. Am I?
287
00:13:39,117 --> 00:13:41,118
No, midgets is like
the small blokes.
288
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:44,421
Right. So how do you become
the world's tallest midget?
289
00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:47,591
I don't know. With diet
and, uh, how you eat.
290
00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:50,194
Well, what makes a midget
a midget?
291
00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:52,195
The fact that they're short?
292
00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:53,397
Which one is midgets?
293
00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:56,933
Is them the ones that is
like same things,
294
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:59,203
or is them the ones
with the big dongs?
295
00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:02,273
Uh, I don't know,
but I think they're short.
296
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,640
So what's your point?
297
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:07,244
My point is that it's
hard to reward somebody
298
00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:09,146
for being the way
they were born.
299
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,415
Yo, total respek.
Thank you.
300
00:14:13,451 --> 00:14:15,987
Eagle, you're looking great.
Coming up 9 minutes.
301
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,124
Wagwan.
302
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:22,460
Politics.
303
00:14:22,527 --> 00:14:25,463
Everyone has heard the word.
304
00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:27,898
But what does it really mean?
305
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:29,967
I don't know,
306
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,470
but the people
around here knows.
307
00:14:33,004 --> 00:14:36,540
Is democracy all that?
308
00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:39,176
I think one of
the famous politicians,
309
00:14:39,244 --> 00:14:41,112
winston churchill,
once said that, uh...
310
00:14:41,179 --> 00:14:42,546
Something like,
311
00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:44,882
that democracy is the
worst form of government
312
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,050
except for all the others.
313
00:14:46,117 --> 00:14:47,151
That's right.
314
00:14:47,252 --> 00:14:48,385
I think what he meant...
315
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:49,519
That's right.
316
00:14:49,587 --> 00:14:50,921
I think what he meant was...
317
00:14:50,989 --> 00:14:52,556
Whoa!
318
00:14:52,624 --> 00:14:55,192
That's... that's what he said.
It's the worst form of government
319
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:56,360
except for all the others.
320
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:57,461
The others?
321
00:14:57,528 --> 00:14:59,863
Others like dictatorships
and totalit...
322
00:14:59,931 --> 00:15:02,333
He was talking
about hitler and stalin
323
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,436
and sort of comparing what it was
like to live in these other systems
324
00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:07,905
that didn't have democracy.
325
00:15:07,972 --> 00:15:10,641
But, in england
we don't have democracy,
326
00:15:10,708 --> 00:15:12,109
and we do all right.
327
00:15:12,176 --> 00:15:14,444
England is a democracy. You have democracy.
It's just different.
328
00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:16,147
You just
carry it out differently.
329
00:15:16,214 --> 00:15:17,548
Well, does you live there?
330
00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:19,349
I've lived there, in england.
I've lived there, too.
331
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:22,486
I lived there all me life,
so I knows more than you.
332
00:15:22,553 --> 00:15:23,720
You know a lot more.
333
00:15:23,788 --> 00:15:24,955
Ok, I'm sure you do.
334
00:15:25,023 --> 00:15:28,692
You know, like, england is
part of great britain.
335
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:29,927
Yes.
336
00:15:29,994 --> 00:15:31,495
All right, where's the capital?
337
00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:33,129
The capital of which?
338
00:15:33,197 --> 00:15:34,198
Of england.
339
00:15:34,265 --> 00:15:35,398
Of england?
340
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:37,501
Uh, london is what I
thought was the capital.
341
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:41,072
All right, all right, so
you does know your stuff.
342
00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:46,076
So, why does so few
young people vote?
343
00:15:46,144 --> 00:15:49,546
Part of it is that they don't...
Either they don't believe
344
00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:51,315
that their vote matters.
345
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,452
They've got other things that
they want to do with their time.
346
00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:57,321
Wouldn't it be more better instead
of havin' to vote in age,
347
00:15:57,389 --> 00:16:01,592
just sayin', "all right, if you
has got pubes, you can vote."
348
00:16:01,659 --> 00:16:04,027
I, uh, I, you know, I, I...
349
00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:07,131
I'd be willing to try it
in some smaller way,
350
00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,833
first as an experiment,
in something like that
351
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:13,070
and seeing if we did that,
how that would work.
352
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,471
What does you think, professor?
353
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:16,439
Could you do that and just say,
354
00:16:16,507 --> 00:16:18,408
"yo, if you's got pubes,
you can vote.
355
00:16:18,476 --> 00:16:20,511
If you can't,
you ain't an adult."
356
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,949
Well, one of the questions
is how do you prove that?
357
00:16:25,016 --> 00:16:27,651
Well, I check the girls,
all right?
358
00:16:27,652 --> 00:16:29,920
Regardless of what
anybody says about you,
359
00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:32,656
when you reach 18,
you can vote.
360
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:35,158
But why 18?
As we say on the street,
361
00:16:35,226 --> 00:16:37,595
"if there's grass
on the pitch, let's play."
362
00:16:37,662 --> 00:16:41,365
But that has nothing to do with you
being responsible for yourself.
363
00:16:41,432 --> 00:16:45,268
Does you not agree if there is fluff
on the muff then she is old enough?
364
00:16:48,239 --> 00:16:52,275
I... I, uh, I suppose,
you know, in some way,
365
00:16:52,343 --> 00:16:54,711
uh, if you're...
If you're saying
366
00:16:54,779 --> 00:16:57,848
if a person is able
to have a child,
367
00:16:58,916 --> 00:17:02,419
uh, does that person
get to be able to vote?
368
00:17:02,387 --> 00:17:05,956
Shouldn't clever people get to vote
more times than stupid people?
369
00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:09,759
'Cause I don't see any reason why I
should get the same amount of votes
370
00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:11,461
as somebody who's an ignoramus.
371
00:17:11,529 --> 00:17:13,697
I... I think
that's a question
372
00:17:13,764 --> 00:17:18,068
that has challenged people for,
you know, hundreds of years.
373
00:17:18,136 --> 00:17:20,404
And so no, the answer
to your question is no.
374
00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:22,305
Is it true
that more people vote
375
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:25,042
for the winner of american
idol than vote for the president?
376
00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:27,711
All I know is that
about half the people
377
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:30,847
who could vote for president
vote and about half don't.
378
00:17:30,915 --> 00:17:33,883
So, legally should ruben
studdard be president?
379
00:17:33,951 --> 00:17:36,019
Ok, you have to remember,
on american idol,
380
00:17:36,087 --> 00:17:38,121
you can sit there
at your phone all day
381
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,690
and call every second. Ok.
382
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,558
It's not one vote, one person.
383
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,061
Does you think it's 'cause
he's black he ain't president?
384
00:17:44,128 --> 00:17:45,228
No.
385
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:46,997
It's different
than being president.
386
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:48,499
It is much different.
387
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:51,434
And, of course, people in the entertainment
arena have become president.
388
00:17:51,502 --> 00:17:53,670
Ronald reagan was
a big hollywood star.
389
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:55,272
It's just happened again.
390
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,708
Arnold schwarzenegger, who
was a big movie star,
391
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,476
uh, his entire life,
392
00:17:59,544 --> 00:18:01,178
he started out
and ran for governor.
393
00:18:01,245 --> 00:18:02,445
Weightlifter, too, remember?
394
00:18:02,513 --> 00:18:03,547
You's got it wrong.
395
00:18:03,614 --> 00:18:06,316
He probably played a role
in a movie
396
00:18:06,384 --> 00:18:08,319
where he was a governor.
397
00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:10,421
He didn't actually
become a governor.
398
00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:11,956
That is, it's make-believe.
399
00:18:12,023 --> 00:18:13,957
No, he actually
did become a governor.
400
00:18:14,024 --> 00:18:17,228
No, no, no. Just because he plays the
terminator, it don't mean he is it.
401
00:18:17,295 --> 00:18:20,030
I used to think that
he was the terminator.
402
00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:23,267
And, then, when I saw him
in a different film,
403
00:18:23,334 --> 00:18:26,470
in kindergarten cop, me realized
that obviously him weren't.
404
00:18:26,537 --> 00:18:28,372
He is now
governor of california.
405
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,207
Honestly, I'm not lying to you.
406
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:33,610
So, who's your guy that you hope
is gonna get president now?
407
00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:35,846
Uh, kerry, john kerry.
I'm supporting him.
408
00:18:35,913 --> 00:18:38,181
But ain't that ridiculous,
I mean,
409
00:18:38,249 --> 00:18:39,483
he's a very good actor.
410
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:41,184
He was good
in pet detective, whatever,
411
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:45,188
but why should he have
the right to be president?
412
00:18:45,256 --> 00:18:47,291
Oh, you're... you're thinking
about jim carrey.
413
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,659
Well, whatever, you say jim.
414
00:18:48,726 --> 00:18:49,893
We say jim. Whatever.
415
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,528
John kerry,
different person.
416
00:18:51,596 --> 00:18:52,696
Different person.
417
00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:54,031
I know it's a different person.
418
00:18:54,098 --> 00:18:57,467
His on... his onscreen
personality and him offscreen
419
00:18:57,535 --> 00:18:58,802
I sure he's into politics.
420
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:01,939
No, no, I'm not campaigning
right now for anyone
421
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,041
who has been in a movie.
422
00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:08,545
20 years ago, women didn't have
the vote, but now they is equal.
423
00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:13,183
Does you think in 20 years' time,
animals will have the vote?
424
00:19:13,251 --> 00:19:15,719
No, I don't think that.
425
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:17,153
Why not?
426
00:19:17,855 --> 00:19:22,059
It would be so hard to, uh,
427
00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:25,629
be able to prove that... that
almost every animal
428
00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:29,300
that we know about
could understand
429
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,101
what they're voting about.
430
00:19:31,168 --> 00:19:32,202
Wicked.
431
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:33,937
Keep it real, respek.
432
00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:35,239
Very fun, very fun.
433
00:19:35,306 --> 00:19:36,439
Ok. Take care.
434
00:19:36,507 --> 00:19:37,507
Respek.
435
00:19:37,575 --> 00:19:38,609
Respect.
436
00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:39,843
Yo, respek.
437
00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:08,805
Yekshemesh.
438
00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:12,008
In kazakhstan, country
music is very popular.
439
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:15,445
Dolly parton, johnny
cash and cyndi lauper,
440
00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:17,747
"girls just
want to have fuck."
441
00:20:17,815 --> 00:20:21,218
I learn how to be country music star.
Chergui.
442
00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:28,959
Dance up to the middle
and back.
443
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:30,027
Step forward.
444
00:20:30,094 --> 00:20:31,895
Walk on up and back
445
00:20:31,963 --> 00:20:32,962
come on back.
446
00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:34,331
Back up, back up.
447
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,832
Go ahead move your whole body.
448
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,934
There you go.
449
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:40,671
Uh, can I teach you,
uh, kazakh music?
450
00:20:40,738 --> 00:20:41,671
Yes.
Yes.
451
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:46,109
Uh, we do dance
with line, very nice.
452
00:20:46,176 --> 00:20:47,043
Ok.
453
00:20:47,111 --> 00:20:51,448
Uh, the first move is,
how you say,
454
00:20:51,515 --> 00:20:54,818
go for a walk with hands.
455
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,754
Yes, and next,
456
00:20:57,822 --> 00:20:59,623
beat the gypsy.
457
00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:06,563
Uh, beat the gypsy.
458
00:21:06,631 --> 00:21:10,167
How you call a man
who do with another man?
459
00:21:10,301 --> 00:21:11,268
Homosexual?
460
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:14,071
Yes, you walk like homosexual.
461
00:21:14,138 --> 00:21:16,507
Uh, no, like this.
462
00:21:16,574 --> 00:21:17,641
# la #
463
00:21:18,242 --> 00:21:20,210
yes. Yes.
464
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:22,712
With a smile.
465
00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:32,089
Do you know kazakh music?
466
00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:33,590
No, I'm not familiar with it.
467
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,559
Do you know korky bucek?
468
00:21:35,593 --> 00:21:36,793
No.
469
00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:39,697
He is a number one star,
this song bing bang.
470
00:21:39,764 --> 00:21:42,498
# bing bang dang
dang dang dang dang #
471
00:21:42,566 --> 00:21:43,800
# daga dang dang dang #
472
00:21:45,102 --> 00:21:46,937
# bing bang bang di da #
473
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:49,106
# daga da da di da di da di # good.
474
00:21:50,308 --> 00:21:51,441
You know this?
475
00:21:51,509 --> 00:21:53,276
I do not know that, no.
476
00:21:53,344 --> 00:21:54,845
Please, mr. Wagoner,
477
00:21:54,912 --> 00:21:57,747
can you teach me
how to write country song?
478
00:21:57,815 --> 00:21:59,683
I'll try.
I'll tell you some tips
479
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:01,284
that maybe would help you.
480
00:22:01,352 --> 00:22:04,688
It is a story
about my first wife, roxana.
481
00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:06,123
Mmm-hmm.
482
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:10,661
# this a song about my
wife before she die #
483
00:22:10,695 --> 00:22:12,028
how did she die?
484
00:22:12,997 --> 00:22:16,366
Uh, she die in a field.
485
00:22:19,570 --> 00:22:23,039
Um, shh, bullet from a hunter.
Oh, she got...
486
00:22:23,107 --> 00:22:25,875
Because of her size,
an accident.
487
00:22:25,943 --> 00:22:27,877
He think she a bear
488
00:22:27,945 --> 00:22:31,281
because she have much
hair on body, too. I see.
489
00:22:31,348 --> 00:22:34,184
Ok, yeah, uh, ok,
go ahead, excuse me.
490
00:22:34,252 --> 00:22:37,621
Uh, my sister make
my family very proud.
491
00:22:37,688 --> 00:22:39,256
Should I write about her?
492
00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:40,390
Sure.
493
00:22:40,458 --> 00:22:42,959
She was, uh, um,
494
00:22:43,027 --> 00:22:46,596
voted by
almaty chamber of commerce
495
00:22:46,664 --> 00:22:50,434
uh, as a best sex in mouth.
496
00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:55,338
She is, uh, uh, number 2
or 3 prostitute
497
00:22:55,406 --> 00:22:57,974
in country of kazakhstan.
498
00:22:58,042 --> 00:22:59,843
Well, that's wonderful.
That's great.
499
00:22:59,910 --> 00:23:01,144
Yes. Yes.
500
00:23:01,212 --> 00:23:03,613
Because that's a talent, too.
You know. Yes.
501
00:23:08,619 --> 00:23:12,022
All right, everybody, let's show 'em
how we do it here in tucson, arizona.
502
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:15,592
Please welcome,
all the way from kazakhstan,
503
00:23:15,659 --> 00:23:19,095
they are borat
and his cowboy astana band.
504
00:23:19,163 --> 00:23:21,365
Give 'em a nice
hoot-and-holler applause!
505
00:23:30,274 --> 00:23:32,042
This song called, eh,
506
00:23:32,109 --> 00:23:34,611
nomogsovic adzonathon.
507
00:23:34,678 --> 00:23:37,581
It means "in my country,
there is a problem."
508
00:23:47,258 --> 00:23:49,960
# in my country
there is problem #
509
00:23:51,595 --> 00:23:54,364
# and that problem
is transport #
510
00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:58,068
# it take very, very long #
511
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:02,805
# because kazakhstan is big #
512
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:06,643
# throw transport
down the well #
513
00:24:06,711 --> 00:24:08,044
Come on!
514
00:24:08,112 --> 00:24:10,346
# so my country
can be free #
515
00:24:10,414 --> 00:24:12,315
# so my country
can be free #
516
00:24:12,383 --> 00:24:15,051
# we must make
travel easy #
517
00:24:16,354 --> 00:24:18,588
# 'cause then we have
a big party #
518
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:23,126
# in my country
there is problem #
519
00:24:24,596 --> 00:24:27,064
# and that problem
is the jew #
520
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:30,967
# they take everybody money #
521
00:24:32,870 --> 00:24:34,804
# they never give it back #
522
00:24:36,774 --> 00:24:39,242
# throw the jew
down the well #
523
00:24:40,944 --> 00:24:42,979
# so my country
can be free #
524
00:24:43,047 --> 00:24:44,981
# so my country can be free #
525
00:24:45,049 --> 00:24:47,684
# you must grab him
by his horns #
526
00:24:48,986 --> 00:24:51,120
# then we have
a big party #
527
00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:55,158
# if you see the jew coming #
528
00:24:56,861 --> 00:24:59,496
# you must be careful
of his teeth #
529
00:25:01,032 --> 00:25:03,566
# you must grab him
by his money #
530
00:25:05,035 --> 00:25:07,503
# and I'll tell you
what to do #
531
00:25:07,571 --> 00:25:08,905
everybody!
532
00:25:08,972 --> 00:25:11,608
# throw the jew
down the well #
533
00:25:13,210 --> 00:25:15,044
# so my country can be free #
534
00:25:15,112 --> 00:25:17,114
# so my country can be free #
535
00:25:17,181 --> 00:25:19,182
# you must grab him
by his horns #
536
00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:21,184
# you must grab him
by his horns #
537
00:25:21,251 --> 00:25:23,219
# then we'll have
a big party #
538
00:25:23,287 --> 00:25:25,222
# then we'll have a big party #
539
00:25:25,290 --> 00:25:27,457
# throw the jew
down the well #
540
00:25:27,425 --> 00:25:29,459
# throw the jew down the well #
541
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,461
# so my country
can be free #
542
00:25:31,529 --> 00:25:33,530
# so my country can be free #
543
00:25:33,597 --> 00:25:35,532
# you must grab him
by his horns #
544
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,100
# you must grab him
by his horns #
545
00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:41,271
# then we'll have
a big party #
546
00:25:42,974 --> 00:25:44,941
Thank you!
547
00:25:58,823 --> 00:26:00,556
Hello, who is this?
548
00:26:01,558 --> 00:26:03,226
It's harper collin.
549
00:26:04,461 --> 00:26:05,862
Harpercollins.
550
00:26:05,930 --> 00:26:08,131
Who is this, harper or collin?
551
00:26:09,233 --> 00:26:10,567
It's collin.
552
00:26:10,634 --> 00:26:12,735
What ? You wants to offer
me money for the book
553
00:26:12,803 --> 00:26:15,305
that you's heard
about me doin'?
554
00:26:17,141 --> 00:26:18,541
How much?
555
00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:22,678
200,000 pounds?
556
00:26:26,183 --> 00:26:28,318
What?
557
00:26:28,386 --> 00:26:31,854
Yo, listen, I won't chat
about it to anyone else.
558
00:26:34,826 --> 00:26:37,127
I needs to decide right now,
does I?
559
00:26:39,230 --> 00:26:40,630
All right, give me one minute.
560
00:26:40,698 --> 00:26:42,465
I is just in the bath.
561
00:26:45,102 --> 00:26:48,138
Safe. Give you a ring back.
Thank you.
562
00:26:49,407 --> 00:26:51,207
Does you know who that was?
563
00:26:52,176 --> 00:26:55,278
Another book person.
564
00:26:55,346 --> 00:26:58,115
Yeah, but they... they wouldn't do
that like that over the phone.
565
00:26:58,182 --> 00:26:59,649
Well, them did it.
They'd send it...
566
00:26:59,717 --> 00:27:01,785
Them did it.
You heard it. You heard it.
567
00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:04,454
Yeah, they would send
a written contract.
568
00:27:12,496 --> 00:27:15,999
# yo, diggidy, check this
me may be in a suit #
569
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,300
# lookin' well old #
570
00:27:17,368 --> 00:27:19,502
# but, homies, if you
recognize your talent #
571
00:27:19,570 --> 00:27:22,105
# you can win the gold,
aight ? #
572
00:27:23,441 --> 00:27:24,641
safe.