1 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,599 Keep it real. 2 00:00:37,502 --> 00:00:39,871 Easy now. If you ain't careful, 3 00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:42,673 sex can lead to some terrible things: 4 00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:45,376 Herpes, scrot-rot, or even worse, 5 00:00:45,444 --> 00:00:47,678 something called a relationship. 6 00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:52,183 That's why I's off to meet john gray, to find out how to avoid one. 7 00:00:52,251 --> 00:00:53,818 Aight. 8 00:01:00,993 --> 00:01:02,560 With men and women, 9 00:01:02,628 --> 00:01:05,930 does you think that men should marry only one woman? 10 00:01:05,998 --> 00:01:07,298 Does you believe in mahogany? 11 00:01:07,366 --> 00:01:08,733 I do. 12 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,202 I personally believe in monogamy, for me personally. 13 00:01:11,269 --> 00:01:14,206 How come in some religions, it's all right to have more than one wife? 14 00:01:14,273 --> 00:01:17,342 Like the morons, you know, like sometimes I wish I was a moron. 15 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,710 It's the mormons or the muslims. 16 00:01:18,777 --> 00:01:20,378 But whatever. 17 00:01:20,446 --> 00:01:24,049 In both those religions, it's ok to have, uh, more than one wife. 18 00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:27,418 And it becomes very hard to settle on one woman. 19 00:01:27,486 --> 00:01:30,087 So I know lots of men, I've helped lots of men with this. 20 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,789 Who, you know, they'd be with a woman. 21 00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:33,558 She's great, and then they just lose interest. 22 00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:36,661 They don't understand because these other women seem so much better. 23 00:01:36,728 --> 00:01:38,296 For real, it's like with me julie. 24 00:01:38,363 --> 00:01:40,064 Me know there is definitely someone better. 25 00:01:40,132 --> 00:01:42,133 Well, I don't know if she'd like to hear that. 26 00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:43,734 Yo, no, I has told her. 27 00:01:43,803 --> 00:01:47,038 Ok, but what you want to do is not tell her. 28 00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:49,640 Yeah, but when she get cocky, whatever, you know, 29 00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:51,876 "look at me. I could get anyone." 30 00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:54,612 I say, "yo, I could do a lot better than you, so shut up." 31 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,015 Well, that-that's not a nice thing to say. 32 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,950 Let me tell you about a problem 33 00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:01,586 that I's got at the moment with me julie. 34 00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:04,289 About 2 months ago, me convinced me julie 35 00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:07,959 to let me take some, like, arty photos of her, 36 00:02:08,026 --> 00:02:10,061 like very tasteful, whatever. 37 00:02:10,128 --> 00:02:13,164 Anyways, I was showing them to me mates 38 00:02:13,231 --> 00:02:15,833 and then them came up with this idea 39 00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:20,538 of like sending them to this magazine, uh, called shaven amateurs. 40 00:02:20,606 --> 00:02:22,507 Anyway, them published them, 41 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:27,579 and now me julie is like well menstrual, all really eggy. 42 00:02:27,646 --> 00:02:29,314 What must me do? 43 00:02:29,381 --> 00:02:31,882 Well, you're going to have to pay the price for that. 44 00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:33,151 You violated her trust. 45 00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:34,719 Oh, no, she ain't worried about that. 46 00:02:34,786 --> 00:02:36,454 She just want half of the money. 47 00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:38,122 You need to find somebody who has 48 00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:40,725 professional standards of what the model would get. 49 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:43,461 So will me have to pay snickers as well? 50 00:02:43,529 --> 00:02:45,363 I don't understand the snickers thing. 51 00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:48,800 She's, you know, she's holding a snickers bar or whatever. 52 00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,768 But to be fair, you can only see "ickers." 53 00:02:50,836 --> 00:02:51,870 Ok, got it. 54 00:02:51,937 --> 00:02:53,471 But does me still have to pay them? 55 00:02:53,539 --> 00:02:57,241 'Cause in a way, it's like advertising for them. 56 00:03:01,313 --> 00:03:05,450 What's the march about today on a very, very basic level? 57 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:08,253 I think it's about reproductive rights 58 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:11,889 and our current administration's legislation 59 00:03:11,957 --> 00:03:15,426 that threatens a woman's right to choose. 60 00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:17,462 Well, I think that's also interesting 61 00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:20,332 because we're, you know, we're a lesbian couple and everything... 62 00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:21,433 What? 63 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:24,302 And we have not had abortions, 64 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,240 but we are wanting to go down to the mall and show our support. 65 00:03:28,307 --> 00:03:31,609 For real. Did you say that you is... 66 00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:34,512 You knows some people is lesbians. 67 00:03:34,579 --> 00:03:37,414 Well, we... we know each other. 68 00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:39,050 What, you two is... 69 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,185 We're a couple. 70 00:03:41,253 --> 00:03:43,955 A couple of lezzas? Respek! 71 00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:45,823 Thank you. Yo. 72 00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:47,591 Last I looked. 73 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,326 Total... total respek, yo. 74 00:03:49,394 --> 00:03:51,595 Thank you. Wicked, yo. 75 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,731 I... I love lesbians. 76 00:03:53,799 --> 00:03:54,766 Yo, ok. 77 00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:55,767 Ok. 78 00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:57,702 Yo, respek. 79 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:01,338 Just relax, you know, you know I love it. 80 00:04:02,307 --> 00:04:03,808 I has got loads of your videos 81 00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,677 and everything. So, it's wicked. 82 00:04:09,281 --> 00:04:11,315 So what's your opinion on abortion rights 83 00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:12,917 or women's reproductive issues? 84 00:04:12,985 --> 00:04:14,852 Yo, I is totally into abortion. 85 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,021 I is been responsible for at least 5, 86 00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:20,091 so, you know, I is well up for it. 87 00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:21,993 Find out what abortion is! 88 00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:24,195 Find out what it is! 89 00:04:24,229 --> 00:04:26,364 So why is you so pro-abortion? 90 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,432 We're not pro-abortion. We're pro-life. 91 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,268 Has you ever had an abortion? 92 00:04:30,335 --> 00:04:32,069 No, I've never had an abortion. 93 00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:36,040 Surely, you should try something before you say it is bad? 94 00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:37,409 Oh, no. No. 95 00:04:37,476 --> 00:04:40,478 We've known many, many women that have had an abortion. 96 00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:43,314 But like I was very, very anti-burger king, 97 00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:44,783 but then, you know, 98 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:47,251 me went there and me tried the flame-grilled whopper. 99 00:04:47,319 --> 00:04:49,621 And it was, like, you know, it was amazing. 100 00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:51,155 What be your name? 101 00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:52,223 Father dean schultz. 102 00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:54,859 Yo, respek. Safe. 103 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:57,061 Is you very anti-abortion 104 00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:59,063 'cause you yourself was aborted? 105 00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:01,533 No, I wasn't aborted. 106 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,935 So, you ain't never got a ho preggers? 107 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,370 You ain't never got a ho preggers? 108 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:09,473 No. 109 00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:12,844 So, is that because you use connies or does you fire blanks? 110 00:05:14,446 --> 00:05:16,381 This interview is over. 111 00:05:16,448 --> 00:05:21,119 Call it choice, call it murder , just don't call it medicine! 112 00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:23,120 Can me have a go on the loudhaler? 113 00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:25,022 Choice! Choice! 114 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:28,292 Here me now, hear me now, comanabukadabus. Here me now, hear me now. 115 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,828 Free nelson mandela! 116 00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:33,598 Free nelson mandela! 117 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:34,933 Let's make this clear. 118 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,635 You is campaigning to make abortions cheaper. 119 00:05:37,703 --> 00:05:39,137 Why is that? 120 00:05:39,204 --> 00:05:40,070 I'm completely against it. 121 00:05:40,138 --> 00:05:43,140 I'd like to see roe vs. Wade overturned. 122 00:05:43,208 --> 00:05:46,377 Personally, I would wait until I was married to have sex with someone. 123 00:05:46,444 --> 00:05:47,678 What, is you married or not? 124 00:05:47,746 --> 00:05:48,946 No, I'm not married yet. 125 00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:50,047 So what, is you a virgin? 126 00:05:50,115 --> 00:05:51,049 Yeah. 127 00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,085 I don't mean to laugh, but you're joking. 128 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,153 No. 129 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,654 This is going on telly, you know? 130 00:05:56,721 --> 00:05:58,122 That's great. 131 00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:00,725 Ask me how old I was when I lost me cherry. 132 00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:02,360 Why don't you just tell me? 133 00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:05,830 11 years old, and she was like 24 and a model. 134 00:06:05,897 --> 00:06:07,798 And she wanted more. 135 00:06:07,866 --> 00:06:10,668 I just didn't want to commit, innit? 136 00:06:10,736 --> 00:06:15,573 # We shall overcome # 137 00:06:17,075 --> 00:06:20,478 # We shall overcome # 138 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:25,316 # I do believe # 139 00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:26,284 # abortion # 140 00:06:26,351 --> 00:06:29,787 # deep in my heart # 141 00:06:29,854 --> 00:06:30,888 # a-a-abortion # 142 00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:35,626 # that we shall overcome some day # 143 00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:38,396 # f-f-fresh # 144 00:07:09,995 --> 00:07:11,228 Yekshemesh. 145 00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:14,565 Kazakhi people have a many job opportunities 146 00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,367 here in u.S. And "a." 147 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:21,005 For men: Construction worker, taxi driver, or accountant. 148 00:07:21,072 --> 00:07:23,307 For women: Prostitute. 149 00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:26,511 I try to get american job. Chergui. 150 00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,985 What sort of things have you done work-wise? 151 00:07:35,053 --> 00:07:38,989 In kazakhstan, I was make ice. 152 00:07:39,891 --> 00:07:42,960 I was a gypsy catcher. 153 00:07:42,861 --> 00:07:45,963 Also, I work with animals. 154 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:48,132 Animals? In what respect? 155 00:07:48,199 --> 00:07:52,303 I, uh, make them have, uh, 156 00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:55,339 explosion for liquid 157 00:07:56,107 --> 00:07:58,876 for make more animals. 158 00:07:58,944 --> 00:08:00,678 Oh ? Ok. 159 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:05,583 I, uh, specialty is, uh, camel. 160 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:10,020 I can, uh, pull a camel for... 161 00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:15,159 In less than 20 minute for him to have liquid explosion. 162 00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:15,960 Ok. 163 00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:18,129 I can do a goat very easy, 164 00:08:18,196 --> 00:08:22,500 in less than minute, finger in anus, easy. 165 00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:27,405 Tell me about a situation in your previous work experience 166 00:08:27,472 --> 00:08:30,241 where you are confident you did something well 167 00:08:30,308 --> 00:08:32,743 that contributed to the organization. 168 00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:35,313 When I work as animal puller... 169 00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:36,580 Mmm-hmm. 170 00:08:36,648 --> 00:08:40,017 Uh, one time they said that there is a camel, 171 00:08:40,085 --> 00:08:43,087 he can make no sexy-time explosion. 172 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,188 Ok. 173 00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:48,426 I say, uh, "please, let borat try." 174 00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:49,794 Mmm-hmm. 175 00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:52,763 I go on my knees. 176 00:08:52,831 --> 00:08:55,099 I grip and pull 177 00:08:56,101 --> 00:08:58,002 for 2 hours. 178 00:08:58,069 --> 00:08:59,871 Oh, gosh. 179 00:08:59,938 --> 00:09:01,606 Grip, pull, grip, pull. 180 00:09:01,673 --> 00:09:02,707 Ok. 181 00:09:02,774 --> 00:09:06,010 And my arm begin to hurt. 182 00:09:06,077 --> 00:09:07,745 I cannot feel my arm. I carry on. 183 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:08,913 I do not care. 184 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:10,481 I tell him I will do it. 185 00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:13,150 Grip, pull, grip, pull. Nothing, nothing. 186 00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:15,352 Then, after 2 hour, 187 00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:17,454 I hear... 188 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,260 Ok. 189 00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:25,830 I think something is arriving. 190 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,632 Something is arriving. 191 00:09:27,699 --> 00:09:30,635 Then fast, grip, pull, grip, pull, grip, pull. 192 00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:34,805 And then, silence. 193 00:09:39,044 --> 00:09:40,778 And then, explosion. 194 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:42,980 Very good. 195 00:09:43,048 --> 00:09:46,383 As far as the activity of your involvement 196 00:09:47,352 --> 00:09:51,088 in producing semen from animals, 197 00:09:52,624 --> 00:09:54,992 what are your day-to-day activities? 198 00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:57,829 I take the box of cream. 199 00:09:57,896 --> 00:09:58,863 Mmm-hmm. 200 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,198 I take 2 animals, same size. 201 00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:02,199 Mmm-hmm. 202 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:05,035 I lie on my back. 203 00:10:05,103 --> 00:10:09,173 I take same size, then I start to... 204 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,442 Some people can only do one... 205 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:12,643 Ok. ...Like this. 206 00:10:12,711 --> 00:10:13,678 Uh-huh. 207 00:10:13,745 --> 00:10:15,980 If it is a camel, you can only do one... 208 00:10:16,047 --> 00:10:17,248 Ok. ...Like this. 209 00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,583 And you have a collection, 210 00:10:20,618 --> 00:10:21,852 uh, 211 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,023 small uzbekistani boy collect. 212 00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:34,098 Tell me a little bit about what would 213 00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:37,034 your boss that you had at your last job, 214 00:10:37,102 --> 00:10:38,969 if I called him up and asked him 215 00:10:39,037 --> 00:10:40,737 what kind of employee you were, 216 00:10:40,805 --> 00:10:42,773 what would he say about you? 217 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,041 Uh, 218 00:10:44,109 --> 00:10:45,742 he will say bad things, 219 00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:49,013 but that is because he is a liar. 220 00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:50,881 Do you feel like you're the kind of person 221 00:10:50,949 --> 00:10:53,150 that can work well with other people? 222 00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:55,953 Yes, I have very good work with other people. 223 00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:56,920 Good. 224 00:10:56,988 --> 00:10:58,456 And I want you to know 225 00:10:58,523 --> 00:11:02,359 that I can sniff out if there is a traitor in a company. 226 00:11:02,427 --> 00:11:03,461 Really? 227 00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:05,396 And if I find them, I can finish them. 228 00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:08,466 Well, I really don't need you to do that. 229 00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,334 Let's start withengths. Your strengths. 230 00:11:10,401 --> 00:11:11,435 What are you good at? 231 00:11:11,502 --> 00:11:13,571 I am very strong physique. 232 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:14,705 Ok. 233 00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:18,509 I can hold a very large woman down 234 00:11:18,576 --> 00:11:21,311 for up to 3 hours. 235 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:22,346 Ok. 236 00:11:22,414 --> 00:11:23,847 Do ladies work here? 237 00:11:23,915 --> 00:11:24,948 Yes, they do. 238 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:28,819 Do they have nice physiques? 239 00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:32,923 Yes, which I have to work with you on that, because, uh, 240 00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:36,861 in our work force, in the united states, 241 00:11:36,995 --> 00:11:40,231 everybody is looked upon as equal as far as man and woman. 242 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:42,300 What? Yes. 243 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,168 Do you have lawsuits? Are you familiar 244 00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:46,737 with the term "lawsuit"? "Court suits"? 245 00:11:46,805 --> 00:11:48,672 That could become a legal issue. 246 00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,408 If you give me this job, 247 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,876 can I put a camera in the lady toilet, please? 248 00:11:52,944 --> 00:11:54,011 No. 249 00:11:54,079 --> 00:11:55,212 Why not? 250 00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,315 That... it's against the law. 251 00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:58,749 If I work here, 252 00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:01,785 can I work in a room with a light, please? 253 00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:03,353 Yes, everybody will have a light. 254 00:12:03,421 --> 00:12:04,855 Great success! 255 00:12:04,923 --> 00:12:06,557 See? Thank you. 256 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:07,791 Have a nice evening. 257 00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:08,992 Good luck, nice meet you. 258 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:10,160 Nice meeting you. 259 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,930 Hope I like a job. High five! 260 00:12:12,997 --> 00:12:14,832 All right, there we go. All right. 261 00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:29,079 Sh-sh-shake it like a polaroid picture. Check this. 262 00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:34,184 I is here with none other than my main man, dr. Schultze. 263 00:12:34,252 --> 00:12:37,988 Him was the chief economics advisor 264 00:12:38,056 --> 00:12:40,925 to some bloke called president carter. 265 00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:44,227 And also, he was the budget director 266 00:12:44,295 --> 00:12:48,532 for lindy johnson and she was the president. 267 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,001 Nope. What? 268 00:12:50,068 --> 00:12:52,036 It's a he, and it's lyndon. 269 00:12:52,103 --> 00:12:55,606 Yo, let... let me just do the beginning bit again. Ok. 270 00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:58,509 Yo, check it! I is here with dr. Schultze. 271 00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:03,113 Him was economic advisor to president carter 272 00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:07,318 and also to president johnson, who was a man. 273 00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:09,853 So economics is well important, innit? 274 00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:11,188 Yeah, it is. 275 00:13:11,256 --> 00:13:13,524 Uh, you know, it's where you make your money... 276 00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:14,558 For real. 277 00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,394 You get rich or you get poor 278 00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:18,195 or you're unemployed, you've got a job. 279 00:13:18,263 --> 00:13:20,531 Let's talk about the notes. 280 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:23,366 Why does they put pictures of gaylords 281 00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:24,969 on the bills here? 282 00:13:25,036 --> 00:13:27,104 Of who? Of batty men. 283 00:13:27,171 --> 00:13:30,440 Of like, uh, you know, men who... 284 00:13:30,508 --> 00:13:32,509 Blokes who do it with each other. 285 00:13:32,577 --> 00:13:34,878 Why has they got pictures of gaylords? 286 00:13:34,946 --> 00:13:37,748 Gaylords, uh, gayers, benders, 287 00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:41,952 batty men, fifi men, uh, homos. 288 00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:43,154 They don't. 289 00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:44,288 What? 290 00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:45,556 No, on the thing like... 291 00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:47,324 They don't. 292 00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:48,525 Like this bloke here. 293 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:49,660 Yeah. 294 00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:52,163 Come on. That bloke, he's a fag. 295 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,931 He was a famous general, a president. 296 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,533 Him was a gaylord? 297 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,734 No, no, no. 298 00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:57,768 But come off it. 299 00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,403 He's got the same haircut as me nan. 300 00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:01,271 So what ? What's a haircut got to do with it? 301 00:14:01,339 --> 00:14:04,241 He would say you're looking pretty weird with your hair. 302 00:14:04,309 --> 00:14:07,911 Yo, well, he better tell me that face-to-face... 303 00:14:07,979 --> 00:14:10,814 to him... no, no, to him, you would. 304 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:20,090 Wouldn't it be better, instead of having a $5 bill and a $10 bill, 305 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:22,492 having like a $5.44 bill 306 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:26,296 and a $16.89 bill 307 00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:29,767 and like a $22.11 bill 308 00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:31,635 and like a $5.44... 309 00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:33,603 no, I've done that already. 310 00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:38,942 Or like $182,000 311 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:43,246 250 m-million bill. 312 00:14:43,314 --> 00:14:47,084 That way you wouldn't have to carry any spare change, innit? 313 00:14:49,554 --> 00:14:51,021 You go to a store 314 00:14:51,089 --> 00:14:56,427 and you got a $52.64 bill in your pocket, right? 315 00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:59,930 We hope, we hope. It's just a dream at the moment. 316 00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:01,599 Suppose you did. 317 00:15:01,666 --> 00:15:06,604 And it turns out when you got the thing, the price was not $52.64 318 00:15:06,671 --> 00:15:10,307 but $52.65. What would you do? 319 00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:13,144 Pay for it with the $52.65 bill. 320 00:15:13,211 --> 00:15:14,245 You don't have it. 321 00:15:14,312 --> 00:15:15,912 One go, thank you. 322 00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:18,983 Wouldn't you have to have thousands and thousands of bills in your pocket? 323 00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:26,590 What is the stock market? 324 00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:30,594 I want to have a company that produces toys, right? 325 00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:32,662 What, is this, what, 'cause you's had enough 326 00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,698 with the politics and economics thing? 327 00:15:34,765 --> 00:15:36,467 No, no, no, I just want to make money. 328 00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:38,435 I got a good toy, I know I can sell it. 329 00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:39,570 What is it? 330 00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:40,670 Any toy. 331 00:15:40,738 --> 00:15:42,372 I'm just giving you an... I don't know. 332 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,007 Is it one of them robot dogs? 333 00:15:44,075 --> 00:15:46,676 Yeah, let's say it is, or something like that, who knows? 334 00:15:46,744 --> 00:15:48,345 'Cause them is out already. 335 00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:50,314 All right, well, just say it's a better one. 336 00:15:50,381 --> 00:15:51,848 Why does you want to go into toys? 337 00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:55,552 Does you not think economics is interesting anymore? 338 00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:56,886 No, I'm giving you an example. 339 00:15:56,954 --> 00:15:58,188 All right. 340 00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:00,424 I'm trying to tell you what investment means, 341 00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,626 and why you need stocks. 342 00:16:02,693 --> 00:16:04,428 Oh, you don't want to go into toys. 343 00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:07,831 I don't want to myself, but I'm trying to give you an example. 344 00:16:07,898 --> 00:16:09,133 That's a shame, isn't it? 345 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,367 Suppose I did. 346 00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:11,768 It would have been a laugh. 347 00:16:11,836 --> 00:16:14,404 It sure would have, 'cause I wouldn't know how to make them, 348 00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:16,273 but let's suppose I did. Aight. 349 00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:17,707 And I got a great idea. 350 00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,676 I... I got a friend who's got a good toy he designed. 351 00:16:19,744 --> 00:16:20,877 I think it's going to sell. 352 00:16:20,945 --> 00:16:22,679 Wicked, what's that? Let's suppose... 353 00:16:22,747 --> 00:16:24,882 I'm just giving an example. I just made it up. 354 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:26,917 Aight. I just made it up. 355 00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:31,121 Does it make a difference what price they buy it at or sell it at? 356 00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:33,524 Yeah, the lower you buy it 357 00:16:33,591 --> 00:16:35,826 and the higher you sell it, the more money you make. 358 00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:39,463 But ain't the problem with selling things when you is high 359 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:42,432 is that you sometime get really bad deals? 360 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,668 Like one time when me was high, 361 00:16:44,735 --> 00:16:47,838 me sold me car for, like, 24 chicken mcnuggets. 362 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:49,940 Ain't it wrong to do that? 363 00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,641 But it wasn't high. 364 00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:53,610 Yo, no, but me was totally high. 365 00:16:53,678 --> 00:16:55,179 Me was mashed. 366 00:16:55,246 --> 00:16:59,216 Me had done, like, you know, some super skunk from amsterdam 367 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:02,152 that had me got in, and me had smoked like loads of it, 368 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,254 and then it was like me was well hungry. 369 00:17:04,322 --> 00:17:07,958 And me mate dangerous dave said, "yo, can we have your car ?" 370 00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:11,061 And me said, "yo, give me the chicken. Maybe we chat about it." 371 00:17:11,129 --> 00:17:13,130 That's 'cause you were high. Yo, for real. 372 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,199 Yeah, but I'm not talking about you. 373 00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:16,900 I'm talking about the stock. 374 00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:18,101 Is the price high? 375 00:17:18,336 --> 00:17:20,137 Oh, so, you shouldn't be high when you sell. 376 00:17:20,204 --> 00:17:23,574 No, no, don't be high. That's a real rule. 377 00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:26,276 Don't be high when you're buying and selling stock. 378 00:17:30,815 --> 00:17:32,949 What is a pin number? 379 00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:35,585 You got to have a pin number to work the a.T.M. 380 00:17:35,653 --> 00:17:37,587 What is the bestest pin number? 381 00:17:37,655 --> 00:17:40,391 Is it your house number or is it your birthday? 382 00:17:40,458 --> 00:17:44,194 It's probably a number that doesn't mean anything. 383 00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:46,463 Me know you can't tell me, but is it 1984? 384 00:17:46,531 --> 00:17:47,631 No, I don't mean that... 385 00:17:47,698 --> 00:17:49,299 No, that isn't my point. 386 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:52,903 Is it in the 1980s? Just nod if it was. 387 00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:54,405 You mean the pin number? 388 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,440 Yo, is that the bestest one? 389 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,242 No, I don't know what's the best. 390 00:17:58,343 --> 00:17:59,777 It doesn't matter. 391 00:17:59,844 --> 00:18:01,411 '88. 1988. 1888. 392 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,646 Do you know why you need it? 393 00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:04,748 I know it's something '84 with 8s in it. 394 00:18:04,816 --> 00:18:06,550 What you want is a pin number... 395 00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:07,651 Wicked. 396 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:08,752 That nobody else knows. 397 00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:09,786 Safe. 398 00:18:09,854 --> 00:18:11,221 So you don't pick a year. 399 00:18:11,289 --> 00:18:13,023 You don't pick your birthday. 400 00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:16,793 You pick some number that doesn't have any meaning. 401 00:18:16,861 --> 00:18:20,998 6598, 2642, 3515. 402 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:23,033 What was that ? 6598? Yeah. 403 00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,468 3215. 404 00:18:24,535 --> 00:18:25,535 3215. 405 00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:27,972 8954. 406 00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:29,206 Which are those ones? 407 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,507 I just make them up. 408 00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:31,675 8954. 409 00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:33,010 It doesn't make any difference. 410 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:34,411 I'm making them all up. 411 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:38,782 Listen up, pay attention, and be careful with your cash 412 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:40,884 if you want to get to be wearing bling. 413 00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:42,720 Keep it real. Respek. 414 00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:44,688 Yep, you have a few good ones. Right. 415 00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:59,202 # Crank it up! # 416 00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:09,012 I will introduce you 417 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,883 and then I put my hand up and you all, uh, shout. 418 00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:15,652 Ok, good. Ok. 419 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,788 Also, wilkommen, here I am in daytona beach 420 00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:21,158 where all the great guys in the u.S.A. 421 00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,160 Come to be gay! 422 00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,995 Wait a minute, what? 423 00:19:28,099 --> 00:19:29,065 What? 424 00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:31,502 Gay means happy, right? 425 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,171 No, no, no, no. No, gay sex. 426 00:19:41,011 --> 00:19:43,980 Also jetzt gehen wir hier to look at some guys 427 00:19:44,048 --> 00:19:48,085 living on the beach who are wrestling team. Great! 428 00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:50,254 Let's see you guys wrestle. 429 00:19:51,389 --> 00:19:52,523 Put on your... 430 00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:53,990 yeah, ok! 431 00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:58,462 So, do you want to show me how to wrestle? 432 00:19:58,529 --> 00:19:59,863 Hit his head, come on! 433 00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:02,265 Hit a double back, micah, double. 434 00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:07,170 So, whistle blows, we're come in here grabbing, pulling down... 435 00:20:07,238 --> 00:20:08,138 Nice. 436 00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:09,272 Shooting for legs here. 437 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:10,374 All right. 438 00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:11,608 See what I'm saying? 439 00:20:11,675 --> 00:20:13,110 Yeah, there you go. There you go. 440 00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:14,177 Yeah. 441 00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:15,812 Ok. 442 00:20:17,348 --> 00:20:19,683 Yeah, there you go. Now! Step here. 443 00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,218 Yeah. 444 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:23,821 Grab behind my legs and put your head right in my chest. 445 00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:25,889 Ok, great. Like that. 446 00:20:25,957 --> 00:20:26,757 Put that foot in. 447 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,458 Ok, like that? Yeah, now tackle me. 448 00:20:28,526 --> 00:20:29,526 Ok. 449 00:20:30,394 --> 00:20:31,762 Like that. Ok? 450 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,430 That's it. Great. 451 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:35,132 That's a two-point takedown. 452 00:20:35,199 --> 00:20:37,334 Great, let's do that again. 453 00:20:37,401 --> 00:20:39,269 Go ahead. You shoot that double you learned. 454 00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:40,938 Shoot your double leg. 455 00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:44,040 All right. Stay on top. Stay on top. 456 00:20:44,108 --> 00:20:45,108 Ok. 457 00:20:45,176 --> 00:20:46,510 You've got 2 points for a takedown. 458 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,345 Great. 459 00:20:48,079 --> 00:20:51,114 What we're going to do for the front of the show, is spell out "p," 460 00:20:51,182 --> 00:20:55,519 you're going to go "p," then you go "a," "r," "t," "y," 461 00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:58,021 and then you all shout, "party!" Go. 462 00:20:58,089 --> 00:20:58,988 "P" "a" 463 00:20:59,057 --> 00:20:59,956 "r" "t" 464 00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:00,990 "y!" 465 00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:02,526 Party! 466 00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:12,869 So, let's just do that, but like with more energy... 467 00:21:12,937 --> 00:21:13,937 more? 468 00:21:14,005 --> 00:21:15,138 Yeah, with a lot... 469 00:21:15,206 --> 00:21:16,707 ok, go. 470 00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:17,908 "P" "a" 471 00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,009 "r" "t" 472 00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:20,044 "y!" 473 00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:21,679 Party! 474 00:21:22,246 --> 00:21:23,681 Spring break! 475 00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:29,619 We're crazy! 476 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,523 Yeah, spring break, baby! 477 00:21:33,591 --> 00:21:35,759 Plymouth state university! 478 00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:41,631 Ok, just do it, but with more energy. 479 00:21:41,699 --> 00:21:42,765 All right. 480 00:21:42,833 --> 00:21:44,101 Ok, so... 481 00:21:44,168 --> 00:21:45,668 we'll give you some fucking energy. 482 00:21:45,736 --> 00:21:47,237 Get psyched up! 483 00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,973 Ok, you're ready? 484 00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:50,974 "P" "a" 485 00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:51,942 "r" "t" 486 00:21:52,009 --> 00:21:52,976 "y!" 487 00:21:53,043 --> 00:21:54,043 Party! 488 00:21:57,248 --> 00:21:58,982 Plymouth state university! 489 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:03,720 P.S.U.! 490 00:22:03,788 --> 00:22:06,690 Plymouth state university! 491 00:22:08,292 --> 00:22:10,293 Let's do it, but with more energy this time. 492 00:22:10,361 --> 00:22:11,961 That was a little bit low 493 00:22:12,029 --> 00:22:14,765 because it's going to be the front of the show. 494 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,765 Go! 495 00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:16,866 "P" "a" 496 00:22:16,935 --> 00:22:18,568 "r" "t" 497 00:22:18,636 --> 00:22:19,636 "y!" 498 00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:24,975 Spring break, baby! 499 00:22:25,042 --> 00:22:27,210 Ok, great! Let's see your pectorals. 500 00:22:27,277 --> 00:22:28,745 Let's see your pectorals. 501 00:22:30,648 --> 00:22:32,082 This is how we do things! 502 00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:33,717 Ok, let's turn around. 503 00:22:33,784 --> 00:22:35,419 Show us some muscles, yeah. 504 00:22:35,486 --> 00:22:37,120 Show us some muscles on the back. 505 00:22:37,188 --> 00:22:38,822 Yeah, baby! 506 00:22:38,889 --> 00:22:42,526 Is it possible to see the arsche? See the arsche? 507 00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,494 The ass? 508 00:22:43,561 --> 00:22:44,461 Yes, sure. 509 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:46,196 You want to see some ass cheeks? 510 00:22:46,264 --> 00:22:47,831 Yes, let's see it. 511 00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:48,932 Give them an ass cheek! 512 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:49,933 Let's see it. 513 00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:51,334 Give them some ass cheek, man. 514 00:22:51,403 --> 00:22:53,336 That's great! Wow! 515 00:22:54,005 --> 00:22:55,539 Great! 516 00:22:57,575 --> 00:22:58,908 Great. 517 00:22:58,976 --> 00:23:00,010 Just say, "hello, this is jim." 518 00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:01,245 Hello, this is jim! 519 00:23:01,312 --> 00:23:04,347 And I am sending... saying "hi" 520 00:23:04,415 --> 00:23:05,482 and I saying "hi"... 521 00:23:05,549 --> 00:23:07,450 Saying hi from daytona beach, florida! 522 00:23:07,518 --> 00:23:11,121 To austria... to austria gay t.V. 523 00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:12,789 What ? Austria gay t.V.? 524 00:23:12,857 --> 00:23:14,291 Yeah. 525 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,293 What do you mean gay t.V.? Well... 526 00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:18,895 get the fuck out of here. You didn't say gay t.V. 527 00:23:18,963 --> 00:23:20,030 Yeah. 528 00:23:20,097 --> 00:23:21,365 No, what do you mean gay t.V.? 529 00:23:21,432 --> 00:23:24,000 There's no fucking gay t.V. Involved in this. 530 00:23:24,068 --> 00:23:25,068 No, this is... 531 00:23:25,136 --> 00:23:26,603 I'm not getting involved in gay t.V. 532 00:23:26,671 --> 00:23:28,105 This is a gay show. 533 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,407 # Crank it up! # 534 00:23:38,616 --> 00:23:40,584 so how does I spell "rooney"? 535 00:23:40,651 --> 00:23:42,486 R- u-n-e-y. 536 00:23:42,553 --> 00:23:46,390 R- u-n-e-y. 537 00:23:46,457 --> 00:23:47,890 You've done this before? 538 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:49,959 Yo, I mean, I has made... 539 00:23:50,027 --> 00:23:51,261 have you ever done this before? 540 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:53,763 Yo, for real. I's done, I mean, I come mainly from... 541 00:23:53,831 --> 00:23:56,333 what is your language, your basic language? English? 542 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,167 Yo, for real. 543 00:23:58,235 --> 00:24:00,137 So what language are you most comfortable in? 544 00:24:00,204 --> 00:24:03,040 Yo, english for real. I is from england. 545 00:24:03,107 --> 00:24:04,975 And how shall I introduce you? 546 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:06,676 That's your business, not mine. 547 00:24:06,744 --> 00:24:08,812 I'm getting very close to the end of this. 548 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,546 Yeah, I didn't realize... 549 00:24:10,614 --> 00:24:13,049 Yeah, go ahead, do what you have to do. 550 00:24:14,418 --> 00:24:15,651 Yo, check it! 551 00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:19,455 I is here with none other than my main man, andy rooney. 552 00:24:19,523 --> 00:24:23,526 Total respek. And today we is chatting about the media. 553 00:24:23,594 --> 00:24:25,762 The media is well important, innit? 554 00:24:25,829 --> 00:24:28,265 It is important. If a democracy is important, 555 00:24:28,332 --> 00:24:30,500 people have to know what's going on in the world. 556 00:24:30,568 --> 00:24:32,168 That's why the media's important. 557 00:24:32,236 --> 00:24:36,273 Does you think the media's changed since you first got in it? 558 00:24:36,340 --> 00:24:39,109 "Does you think the media has changed ?" 559 00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:41,545 Do you think the media has changed? 560 00:24:41,612 --> 00:24:42,912 Whatever, does... 561 00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,214 no, it's english. 562 00:24:44,282 --> 00:24:45,848 The english language would say, 563 00:24:45,916 --> 00:24:47,517 "do you think the media has changed ?" 564 00:24:47,585 --> 00:24:49,953 Not, "does you think the media has changed ?" 565 00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:53,190 Yes, I think the media has changed. 566 00:24:53,257 --> 00:24:57,460 So, what sort of things does you think the media should cover... 567 00:24:57,528 --> 00:24:59,863 do you... do you think the media. 568 00:25:00,331 --> 00:25:01,798 Um, 569 00:25:01,866 --> 00:25:04,134 yo, do you think the... I think 570 00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:06,669 it's an english-american thing, though, innit? 571 00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,205 No, no, that's english. 572 00:25:08,272 --> 00:25:10,073 The english language is very clear. 573 00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:12,275 I have 50 books on the english language, 574 00:25:12,343 --> 00:25:13,810 if you'd like to borrow one. 575 00:25:13,877 --> 00:25:15,778 Let's talk about some mistakes 576 00:25:15,846 --> 00:25:18,014 that has happened or not happened. 577 00:25:18,082 --> 00:25:21,784 Has journalists ever put out tomorrow's news by mistake? 578 00:25:21,852 --> 00:25:24,655 How do you know what the news is if it hasn't happened yet? 579 00:25:24,722 --> 00:25:27,624 Yo, but if there was something well important like a plane crash, 580 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:30,627 wouldn't you report that like a day early? 581 00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:35,098 How would you report a plane crash that happens tomorrow, today? 582 00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:37,200 All right, safe, well, you couldn't do that. 583 00:25:37,267 --> 00:25:39,268 Let's say it was something like the election, 584 00:25:39,336 --> 00:25:41,304 which is like a massive thing. 585 00:25:41,371 --> 00:25:44,708 Wouldn't you report who won that like a few days before 586 00:25:44,775 --> 00:25:47,543 because it's going to be such a massive story 587 00:25:47,611 --> 00:25:50,613 that everyone will want to know about it, and read about it for ages? 588 00:25:50,681 --> 00:25:51,915 But you don't know who won it, 589 00:25:51,982 --> 00:25:54,283 do you, until the election is over? 590 00:25:54,351 --> 00:25:57,087 How can you report it before it happens? 591 00:25:59,190 --> 00:26:00,356 Yo, for real, so... 592 00:26:00,424 --> 00:26:01,891 ok, I think that's about it. 593 00:26:01,959 --> 00:26:04,027 I don't think we need anymore. 594 00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:05,161 Can't do this. 595 00:26:05,229 --> 00:26:06,229 Why not? 596 00:26:06,296 --> 00:26:07,964 This is not going. 597 00:26:08,032 --> 00:26:09,665 Is it because I is black? 598 00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:10,900 I can't waste my time. 599 00:26:10,968 --> 00:26:12,335 Is it because I is black? 600 00:26:12,402 --> 00:26:13,436 You're black? 601 00:26:13,503 --> 00:26:14,503 For real. 602 00:26:14,571 --> 00:26:15,605 Huh? 603 00:26:15,672 --> 00:26:16,639 Who's black? 604 00:26:16,707 --> 00:26:18,108 Yo, I is. 605 00:26:18,175 --> 00:26:19,943 No, I don't want to do this anymore. 606 00:26:20,010 --> 00:26:21,010 Why not? 607 00:26:21,078 --> 00:26:22,445 I don't have time, sorry. 608 00:26:22,513 --> 00:26:24,747 You's been rude to me from the first moment. 609 00:26:24,816 --> 00:26:26,116 Right, I'm sorry. 610 00:26:26,184 --> 00:26:28,118 He's trying to tell me I don't speak english. 611 00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:29,519 Well, right. 612 00:26:29,586 --> 00:26:30,687 He's been rude. 613 00:26:30,754 --> 00:26:32,322 That's quite racialist, to be honest. 614 00:26:32,389 --> 00:26:33,656 Racialist? 615 00:26:33,724 --> 00:26:34,991 Racist, not racialist. 616 00:26:35,059 --> 00:26:37,460 Yo, racialist. Yo, keep the cameras running. 617 00:26:37,528 --> 00:26:38,895 See that this is racialism. 618 00:26:38,963 --> 00:26:40,163 This is fine. 619 00:26:40,231 --> 00:26:42,098 He's chucking me out 'cause the color of me skin.