1
00:00:37,485 --> 00:00:41,671
[wind howling]
2
00:00:41,739 --> 00:00:44,474
[man narrating] For more
than a year, ominous rumors...
3
00:00:44,542 --> 00:00:48,512
had been privately circulating
among high-level western leaders...
4
00:00:48,579 --> 00:00:52,482
That the soviet union had been at
work on what was darkly hinted to be...
5
00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:56,287
The ultimate weapon, a doomsday device.
6
00:00:56,354 --> 00:01:00,291
Intelligence sources traced the site
of the top-secret russian project...
7
00:01:00,358 --> 00:01:04,328
To the perpetually fog-shrouded
wasteland below the arctic peaks...
8
00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:06,363
Of the Zhokhov islands.
9
00:01:06,431 --> 00:01:09,366
What they were building, or
why it should be located...
10
00:01:09,434 --> 00:01:14,338
In such a remote and desolate
place, no one could say.
11
00:03:11,889 --> 00:03:15,192
[jet engine roaring]
12
00:03:33,711 --> 00:03:39,383
[machines clicking]
[phone beeping]
13
00:03:44,155 --> 00:03:47,857
General Ripper, sir.
Group captain Mandrake speaking.
14
00:03:47,925 --> 00:03:51,095
This is general Ripper speaking.
Yes, sir.
15
00:03:51,162 --> 00:03:54,631
- Do you recognize my voice?
- I do, sir. Why?
16
00:03:54,699 --> 00:03:57,501
- Why do you think?
- I don't know, sir.
17
00:03:57,569 --> 00:04:00,170
We spoke a few moments ago
on the phone, didn't we?
18
00:04:00,238 --> 00:04:05,509
You don't think I'd ask unless it
was pretty damned important, do you?
19
00:04:05,577 --> 00:04:09,279
No, I don't, sir. Let's see
if we can stay on the ball.
20
00:04:09,347 --> 00:04:12,749
Has the wing confirmed holding
at their fail-safe points?
21
00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:15,685
Yes, sir. The confirmations
have just come in.
22
00:04:15,753 --> 00:04:19,523
Very well. Now, listen to me carefully.
23
00:04:19,591 --> 00:04:22,326
The base is being put on condition red.
24
00:04:22,393 --> 00:04:24,561
I want this flashed to
all sections immediately.
25
00:04:24,629 --> 00:04:27,964
Condition red. Jolly good.
Keeps the men on their toes.
26
00:04:28,032 --> 00:04:33,237
- Group captain, I'm afraid this is not an exercise.
- Not an exercise, sir?
27
00:04:33,304 --> 00:04:37,474
I shouldn't tell you this,
Mandrake, but you're a good officer.
28
00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:41,545
You have a right to know. It
looks like we're in a shooting war.
29
00:04:41,613 --> 00:04:46,250
Oh, hell. Are the
russians involved, sir?
30
00:04:46,317 --> 00:04:49,186
That's all I've been told.
It came in on the red phone.
31
00:04:49,254 --> 00:04:53,390
My orders are for this base to be
sealed tight. That's what I mean to do.
32
00:04:53,458 --> 00:04:57,027
Now, I want you to transmit plan R.
33
00:04:57,094 --> 00:04:59,029
R for robert, to the wing.
34
00:04:59,096 --> 00:05:02,499
Plan r for robert.
Is it that bad, sir?
35
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:05,068
It's pretty hairy.
Yes, sir.
36
00:05:05,136 --> 00:05:07,171
Plan r for robert, sir.
37
00:05:07,238 --> 00:05:10,541
Now, last and possibly most important,
38
00:05:10,608 --> 00:05:14,211
I want all privately owned radios
to be immediately impounded.
39
00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:18,882
They might be used to issue
instructions to saboteurs.
40
00:05:18,949 --> 00:05:22,052
As I previously arranged, air
police will have lists of all owners.
41
00:05:22,119 --> 00:05:26,156
I want every one collected
without exception. Yes, sir.
42
00:05:26,224 --> 00:05:28,292
After you've done
that, report back to me.
43
00:05:30,728 --> 00:05:33,930
[wind howling]
44
00:05:33,998 --> 00:05:38,468
[alarm blaring]
45
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:50,947
[alarm continues]
46
00:05:54,352 --> 00:05:58,054
[narrator] in order to guard
against surprise nuclear attack,
47
00:05:58,122 --> 00:06:03,393
America's strategic air command
maintains a large force of b-52 bombers...
48
00:06:03,461 --> 00:06:05,795
Airborne 24 hours a day.
49
00:06:05,863 --> 00:06:10,734
Each b-52 can deliver a nuclear
bomb load of 50 megatons,
50
00:06:10,801 --> 00:06:15,805
Equal to 16 times the total explosive
force of all the bombs and shells...
51
00:06:15,873 --> 00:06:20,611
Used by all the armies in World War II.
52
00:06:20,678 --> 00:06:23,647
Based in america, the airborne
alert force is deployed...
53
00:06:23,715 --> 00:06:26,617
From the persian gulf
to the arctic ocean.
54
00:06:26,684 --> 00:06:29,419
But they have one
geographical factor in common.
55
00:06:29,487 --> 00:06:33,490
They are all two hours from
their targets inside russia.
56
00:07:19,937 --> 00:07:23,707
[beeping]
57
00:07:23,775 --> 00:07:25,776
[clicking]
58
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:56,673
Major kong, I know you'll
think this is crazy,
59
00:07:56,741 --> 00:08:00,744
But I just got a message
from base over the c.R.M. 114.
60
00:08:00,812 --> 00:08:02,846
It decodes as wing attack plan r.
61
00:08:02,913 --> 00:08:06,583
R for romeo.
62
00:08:08,386 --> 00:08:12,622
Goldie, did you say wing attack plan r?
63
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:15,258
Yes, sir, I have.
64
00:08:17,962 --> 00:08:21,431
Goldie, how many times
have I told you guys...
65
00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:24,601
I don't want horsin'
around on the airplane?
66
00:08:24,669 --> 00:08:27,070
I'm not horsing around,
sir. That's how it decodes.
67
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:30,807
I've been to one world
fair, a picnic and a rodeo,
68
00:08:30,875 --> 00:08:33,677
And that's the stupidest
thing I heard over earphones.
69
00:08:33,745 --> 00:08:35,679
You sure you got today's code?
70
00:08:35,747 --> 00:08:38,248
Yes, sir, it is.
71
00:08:38,315 --> 00:08:40,884
There's just gotta be somethin' wrong.
72
00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:43,353
Wait a second. I'm comin' back.
73
00:09:17,855 --> 00:09:21,591
Maybe you'd better get
a confirmation from base.
74
00:09:21,659 --> 00:09:23,960
Yes, sir.
75
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:46,683
Major kong, is it possible this
is some kind of loyalty test?
76
00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:50,454
You know, give the go code and then
recall to see who would actually go?
77
00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:54,825
Ain't nobody ever got the go code yet.
78
00:09:54,892 --> 00:09:57,126
Old Ripper wouldn't
be givin' us plan r...
79
00:09:57,194 --> 00:09:59,696
Unless them ruskies had
already clobbered washington...
80
00:09:59,764 --> 00:10:02,499
And a lot of other towns
with a sneak attack.
81
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:06,102
- Yes, sir.
- Major kong, message from base confirmed.
82
00:10:10,942 --> 00:10:14,344
Well, boys, I reckon this is it.
83
00:10:14,411 --> 00:10:19,182
Nuclear combat toe-to-toe
with the ruskies.
84
00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:37,433
Now, look, boys, I ain't much
of a hand at makin' speeches.
85
00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:42,271
But I got a fair idea that
something doggone important...
86
00:10:42,339 --> 00:10:44,941
Is goin' on back there.
87
00:10:45,009 --> 00:10:48,277
I got a fair idea of the kind
of personal emotions that...
88
00:10:48,345 --> 00:10:52,015
Some of you fellows may be thinkin'.
89
00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:54,618
Heck, I reckon you
wouldn't be human beings...
90
00:10:54,685 --> 00:10:59,255
If you didn't have pretty strong
personal feelin's about nuclear combat.
91
00:10:59,323 --> 00:11:02,392
But I want you to remember one thing.
92
00:11:02,459 --> 00:11:05,161
The folks back home is countin' on ya.
93
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:08,965
By golly, we ain't
about to let 'em down.
94
00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:11,902
Tell ya somethin' else.
95
00:11:11,969 --> 00:11:16,773
If this thing turns out to be half
as important as I figure it might be,
96
00:11:16,841 --> 00:11:21,277
I'd say you're all in line for
some important promotions...
97
00:11:21,345 --> 00:11:24,714
And personal citations
when this thing's over.
98
00:11:24,782 --> 00:11:27,684
That goes for every last one of ya,
99
00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:31,555
Regardless of your race,
color or your creed.
100
00:11:31,622 --> 00:11:35,124
Now let's get this thing on the
hump. We got some flyin' to do.
101
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:45,401
[phone ringing]
102
00:11:46,837 --> 00:11:51,041
[ringing continues]
buck, should I get it?
103
00:11:51,108 --> 00:11:53,677
[man] yeah, you'll have to.
104
00:11:53,744 --> 00:11:55,745
[clicks]
105
00:11:58,783 --> 00:12:02,351
Hello? Yes, general Turgidson is here,
106
00:12:02,419 --> 00:12:05,421
But he can't come to
the phone at the moment.
107
00:12:05,489 --> 00:12:08,792
This is his secretary miss scott.
108
00:12:08,859 --> 00:12:13,429
Freddie, how are you? Fine. And you?
109
00:12:13,497 --> 00:12:18,201
We were just catching up on
some of the general's paperwork.
110
00:12:18,268 --> 00:12:21,537
Freddie, he's very
tied up at the moment.
111
00:12:21,606 --> 00:12:25,208
I'm afraid he can't come to
the phone. Just a minute.
112
00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:28,812
General Turgidson,
colonel puntrich calling.
113
00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:34,751
Tell him to call back. The general
says could you call back in a minute?
114
00:12:34,819 --> 00:12:37,386
He says it can't wait!
115
00:12:37,454 --> 00:12:40,957
Aw, for pete's-- find
out what he wants.
116
00:12:41,025 --> 00:12:44,995
Freddie, the general is in
the powder room right now.
117
00:12:45,062 --> 00:12:48,531
Could you tell me what it's about?
118
00:12:48,599 --> 00:12:52,836
Just a second. Apparently they monitored
a transmission eight minutes ago...
119
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:56,006
From burpelson air force base.
120
00:12:56,073 --> 00:13:01,978
Right. It was directed to the
843rd bomb wing on airborne alert.
121
00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:07,583
It decoded as wing attack plan r.
122
00:13:07,652 --> 00:13:12,922
Well, uh, tell him to call
what's-his-name, base commander Ripper.
123
00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:14,958
Do I have to think of everything?
124
00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:19,729
The general suggests you call general
Ripper, the 843rd base commander.
125
00:13:19,797 --> 00:13:23,066
Oh. All communications are dead!
126
00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:26,569
Bull! Tell him to do it himself.
127
00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:31,541
Freddie, the general asks if you
could possibly try again yourself.
128
00:13:31,608 --> 00:13:36,279
I see. He says he's tried personally
several times, but everything is dead.
129
00:13:36,346 --> 00:13:40,516
Even the normal phone
lines are shut down.
130
00:13:41,518 --> 00:13:46,255
[sighs, mutters]
131
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:50,626
Fred? Buck. What's it look like?
132
00:13:50,695 --> 00:13:55,932
Yeah. Well, are you sure it's plan r?
133
00:13:57,835 --> 00:14:02,072
Huh? What's cooking on
the threat board? Nothing!
134
00:14:02,139 --> 00:14:05,474
Nothing at all?
135
00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:09,112
I don't like the look of this, fred.
136
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,848
Tell you what you better do, old buddy.
137
00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:15,451
Give elmo and charlie a blast and
bump everything up to condition red.
138
00:14:15,519 --> 00:14:17,754
Stand by the blower.
I'll get back to you.
139
00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:20,924
What's up? Nothing.
140
00:14:20,991 --> 00:14:24,928
Where's my shorts? On the
floor. Where are you going?
141
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:29,866
No place. I thought I might
mosey over to the war room...
142
00:14:29,934 --> 00:14:32,068
For a few minutes to see
what's doing over there.
143
00:14:32,136 --> 00:14:35,238
It's 3:00 in the morning.
The air force never sleeps.
144
00:14:35,305 --> 00:14:39,943
Buck, honey, I'm not sleepy either.
145
00:14:41,478 --> 00:14:44,781
I know how it is, baby.
146
00:14:44,849 --> 00:14:47,683
Tell you what you do.
147
00:14:47,752 --> 00:14:53,223
You just start your countdown, and old
bucky will be back here before you can say,
148
00:14:53,290 --> 00:14:55,524
"blastoff!"
149
00:14:55,592 --> 00:15:00,864
[Ripper over P.A. System] your commie has
no regard for human life, not even his own.
150
00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:04,868
For this reason, men, I
want to impress upon you...
151
00:15:04,935 --> 00:15:08,938
The need for extreme watchfulness.
152
00:15:09,006 --> 00:15:12,475
The enemy may come individually
or he may come in strength.
153
00:15:12,542 --> 00:15:14,811
He may even come in the
uniform of our own troops.
154
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:18,514
But however he comes, we must stop him.
155
00:15:18,582 --> 00:15:22,218
We must not allow him to
gain entrance to this base.
156
00:15:22,286 --> 00:15:26,790
Now, I am going to give
you three simple rules.
157
00:15:26,857 --> 00:15:29,125
First, trust no one,
158
00:15:29,193 --> 00:15:33,663
Whatever his uniform or rank,
unless he is known to you personally.
159
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:37,300
Second, anyone or
anything that approaches...
160
00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:41,637
Within 200 yards of the
perimeter is to be fired upon.
161
00:15:41,705 --> 00:15:46,642
Third, if in doubt, shoot first
and ask questions afterward.
162
00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:51,447
[clicking stops] I would sooner accept
a few casualties through accident,
163
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:55,451
Than lose the entire base and its
personnel through carelessness.
164
00:15:55,519 --> 00:16:00,256
Any variation on these rules
must come from me personally.
165
00:16:00,324 --> 00:16:03,293
Now, men, in conclusion,
166
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:07,396
I would like to say
that in the two years...
167
00:16:07,464 --> 00:16:11,367
It has been my privilege to
be your commanding officer,
168
00:16:11,435 --> 00:16:14,403
I have always expected
the best from you.
169
00:16:14,471 --> 00:16:18,574
You have never given me anything
less than that. ♪ [swing]
170
00:16:18,642 --> 00:16:22,812
Today the nation is counting
on us. ♪ [volume increases]
171
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,448
We are not going to let them down.
172
00:16:25,515 --> 00:16:27,550
Good luck to you all.
173
00:16:57,681 --> 00:17:01,217
Here's the attack profile, sir.
174
00:17:27,978 --> 00:17:30,579
This is your attack profile.
175
00:17:30,647 --> 00:17:33,849
"to ensure that the enemy cannot
monitor voice transmission...
176
00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:38,554
"or plant false transmission,
the c.R.M. 114...
177
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:41,291
"is to be switched into
all receiver circuits.
178
00:17:41,358 --> 00:17:47,030
"the emergency base code prefix is
to be set on the dials of the c.R.M.
179
00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:51,935
"this will block any transmission other
than those preceded by a code prefix.
180
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:55,671
Stand by to set code prefix."
181
00:17:55,739 --> 00:18:00,109
- Roger. Ready to set code prefix.
- "set code prefix."
182
00:18:00,177 --> 00:18:03,012
[clicking]
183
00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,120
Code prefix set.
184
00:18:11,188 --> 00:18:12,888
"lock code prefix."
185
00:18:15,025 --> 00:18:16,960
Code prefix locked.
186
00:18:17,027 --> 00:18:20,529
"switch all receiver circuits
to c.R.M. Discriminators."
187
00:18:20,597 --> 00:18:24,968
All circuits switched
to c.R.M. Discriminators.
188
00:18:25,035 --> 00:18:26,902
"check auto destruct circuits."
189
00:18:26,971 --> 00:18:28,972
[clicking] [alarm blaring]
190
00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:32,175
Auto destruct circuits checked.
191
00:18:37,514 --> 00:18:41,951
"primary target: The
I.C.B.M. Complex at laputa.
192
00:18:42,019 --> 00:18:46,222
"target reference: Yankee, golf, tango,
193
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,724
"three, six, zero.
194
00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:54,563
"30 megaton nuclear device fused
for air burst at 10,000 feet.
195
00:18:54,631 --> 00:18:59,268
"20 megaton nuclear device will
be used if first malfunctions.
196
00:18:59,336 --> 00:19:01,871
"otherwise, proceed to secondary target:
197
00:19:01,938 --> 00:19:06,642
"missile complex seven
miles east of borchov.
198
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,979
"target reference:
November, bravo, x-ray,
199
00:19:10,047 --> 00:19:12,648
"one, zero, eight.
200
00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:17,887
Fused air burst at 10--"
check-- "12,000 feet."
201
00:19:17,954 --> 00:19:21,358
♪ [continues]
202
00:19:21,425 --> 00:19:29,099
♪
203
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:33,069
Excuse me, sir. Something rather
interesting has just cropped up.
204
00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:36,139
Listen to that. Music.
Civilian broadcasting.
205
00:19:36,207 --> 00:19:38,841
I think those fellows in the pentagon...
206
00:19:38,909 --> 00:19:41,911
Have given us some sort of
exercise to test our readiness.
207
00:19:41,979 --> 00:19:44,080
Personally, I think it's
taking things a bit too far.
208
00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:47,417
Our fellows will be inside russian
radar cover in about 20 minutes.
209
00:19:47,485 --> 00:19:52,055
Listen to that. Full of
stations all churning it out.
210
00:19:52,123 --> 00:19:54,057
Mandrake? Yes, sir.
211
00:19:54,125 --> 00:19:57,427
I issued instructions for
all radios to be impounded.
212
00:19:57,495 --> 00:20:01,797
I was in the process of impounding this
very one when I happened to switch it on.
213
00:20:01,865 --> 00:20:05,768
I thought, our fellows hitting russian radar
in 20 minutes, dropping all their stuff.
214
00:20:05,836 --> 00:20:09,972
I'd better tell you, because
if they do, it'll cause a stink.
215
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:13,876
Group captain, the
officer exchange program...
216
00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:17,880
Does not give you any special
prerogatives to question my orders.
217
00:20:17,948 --> 00:20:22,152
I realize that, sir, but I thought
you'd be pleased to hear the news.
218
00:20:22,219 --> 00:20:25,288
After all, let's face it.
219
00:20:25,356 --> 00:20:29,926
We don't want to start a nuclear
war unless we have to, do we?
220
00:20:29,993 --> 00:20:32,595
Please, sit down. And
turn that thing off.
221
00:20:32,663 --> 00:20:34,797
[music off] yes, sir.
222
00:20:34,865 --> 00:20:39,802
What about the planes, sir? Surely we
must issue the recall code immediately.
223
00:20:39,870 --> 00:20:42,738
The planes are not going to be recalled.
224
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:47,610
My attack orders have been
issued, and the orders stand.
225
00:20:47,678 --> 00:20:49,612
If you'll excuse me for saying so, sir,
226
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,048
That would be to my way
of thinking rather...
227
00:20:52,116 --> 00:20:54,484
An odd way of looking at it.
228
00:20:54,552 --> 00:20:56,719
If a russian attack was in progress,
229
00:20:56,787 --> 00:21:00,523
We would certainly not be
hearing civilian broadcasting.
230
00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:03,626
Are you certain? I'm
absolutely positive.
231
00:21:03,694 --> 00:21:08,231
What if it is true? I'm afraid
I'm still not with you, sir.
232
00:21:08,299 --> 00:21:10,933
Because,
I mean--
233
00:21:11,001 --> 00:21:13,269
If a russian attack was not in progress,
234
00:21:13,337 --> 00:21:19,041
Then your use of plan r, in fact,
your orders to the entire wing--
235
00:21:21,979 --> 00:21:25,982
Well, I would say, sir,
236
00:21:26,049 --> 00:21:30,987
That there was something
dreadfully wrong somewhere.
237
00:21:31,054 --> 00:21:33,990
Why don't you take it
easy, group captain?
238
00:21:34,057 --> 00:21:37,127
Please make me a drink of
grain alcohol and rainwater,
239
00:21:37,194 --> 00:21:40,396
And help yourself to
whatever you'd like.
240
00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:48,204
[heels click]
241
00:21:48,272 --> 00:21:52,342
General Ripper, sir, as an
officer in her majesty's air force,
242
00:21:52,409 --> 00:21:55,811
It is my clear duty under
the present circumstances...
243
00:21:55,879 --> 00:22:00,583
To issue the recall code upon my own
authority and bring back the wing.
244
00:22:00,651 --> 00:22:02,885
If you'll excuse me, sir.
245
00:22:09,627 --> 00:22:14,130
I'm afraid, sir, I must ask you
for the key and the recall code.
246
00:22:14,198 --> 00:22:16,132
Have you got them handy, sir?
247
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,601
I told you to take it
easy, group captain.
248
00:22:18,669 --> 00:22:21,304
There's nothing anybody
can do about this thing now.
249
00:22:21,372 --> 00:22:23,806
I'm the only person who knows
the three-letter code group.
250
00:22:23,874 --> 00:22:27,544
Then I must insist, sir,
that you give them to me.
251
00:22:34,585 --> 00:22:39,489
Do I take it, sir, that you are
threatening a brother officer with a gun?
252
00:22:40,724 --> 00:22:45,995
Mandrake, I suppose it
never occurred to you...
253
00:22:46,063 --> 00:22:49,599
That while we're chatting
here so enjoyably,
254
00:22:49,667 --> 00:22:53,436
A decision is being
made by the president...
255
00:22:53,504 --> 00:22:56,673
And the joint chiefs in the
war room at the pentagon.
256
00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:59,475
When they realize...
257
00:22:59,543 --> 00:23:02,945
There is no possibility
of recalling the wing,
258
00:23:03,013 --> 00:23:07,783
There will be only one
course of action open.
259
00:23:07,851 --> 00:23:10,553
Total commitment.
260
00:23:11,955 --> 00:23:17,493
Mandrake, do you recall what
clemenceau once said about war?
261
00:23:17,561 --> 00:23:20,730
Uh, no, I don't think I do, sir. No.
262
00:23:22,099 --> 00:23:25,134
He said war was too important
to be left to the generals.
263
00:23:25,202 --> 00:23:29,805
When he said that 50 years ago,
264
00:23:29,873 --> 00:23:32,875
He might have been right.
265
00:23:32,943 --> 00:23:38,748
But, today, war is too important
to be left to politicians.
266
00:23:38,815 --> 00:23:43,319
They have neither the
time, the training...
267
00:23:43,387 --> 00:23:47,357
Nor the inclination
for strategic thought.
268
00:23:49,993 --> 00:23:53,663
I can no longer sit back and allow...
269
00:23:53,731 --> 00:23:58,801
Communist infiltration,
communist indoctrination,
270
00:23:58,869 --> 00:24:01,804
Communist subversion...
271
00:24:01,872 --> 00:24:05,908
And the international
communist conspiracy...
272
00:24:05,976 --> 00:24:11,514
To sap and impurify all of
our precious bodily fluids.
273
00:24:17,621 --> 00:24:19,889
Staines, is everybody here?
274
00:24:19,956 --> 00:24:22,525
Mr. President, the secretary
of state is in vietnam.
275
00:24:22,593 --> 00:24:26,529
The secretary of defense is in laos,
and the vice president is in mexico city.
276
00:24:26,597 --> 00:24:29,865
We can establish contact with
them at anytime, if it's necessary.
277
00:24:29,933 --> 00:24:32,735
The undersecretaries
are all here. Right.
278
00:24:32,803 --> 00:24:34,737
General Turgidson, what's going on?
279
00:24:34,805 --> 00:24:38,908
[clears throat] Mr. President,
280
00:24:38,975 --> 00:24:42,545
About 35 minutes ago,
281
00:24:42,613 --> 00:24:46,749
General Jack Ripper, the
commanding general of, uh,
282
00:24:46,817 --> 00:24:49,251
Burpelson air force base,
283
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,488
Issued an order to the
34 b-52s of his wing,
284
00:24:52,556 --> 00:24:54,924
Which were airborne at the time,
285
00:24:54,991 --> 00:24:58,894
As part of a special exercise we were
holding called operation dropkick.
286
00:24:58,962 --> 00:25:03,733
It appears that the order
called for the planes...
287
00:25:03,801 --> 00:25:07,102
To attack their targets inside russia.
288
00:25:07,170 --> 00:25:11,407
[group murmuring] the planes are
fully armed with nuclear weapons...
289
00:25:11,475 --> 00:25:15,044
With an average load
of 40 megatons each.
290
00:25:15,111 --> 00:25:20,983
The central display of russia will
indicate the position of the planes.
291
00:25:21,051 --> 00:25:24,554
The triangles are their primary targets.
292
00:25:24,621 --> 00:25:28,458
The squares are their secondary targets.
293
00:25:28,525 --> 00:25:31,894
The aircraft will begin
penetrating russian radar cover...
294
00:25:31,962 --> 00:25:34,630
Within, uh, 25 minutes.
295
00:25:34,698 --> 00:25:38,634
General Turgidson, I find this
very difficult to understand.
296
00:25:38,702 --> 00:25:42,104
I was under the impression that
I was the only one in authority...
297
00:25:42,172 --> 00:25:44,440
To order the use of nuclear weapons.
298
00:25:44,508 --> 00:25:47,309
Uh, that's right, sir.
299
00:25:47,378 --> 00:25:49,746
You are the only person
authorized to do so.
300
00:25:49,813 --> 00:25:54,149
Although I hate to judge
before all the facts are in,
301
00:25:54,217 --> 00:25:57,787
It's beginning to look like general
Ripper exceeded his authority.
302
00:25:57,855 --> 00:26:02,992
It certainly does. Far beyond the
point I would have imagined possible.
303
00:26:03,059 --> 00:26:06,396
Perhaps you're forgetting
the provisions of plan r, sir.
304
00:26:06,463 --> 00:26:09,331
Plan r?
305
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,369
Plan r is an emergency war plan,
306
00:26:13,437 --> 00:26:15,872
In which a lower echelon
commander may order...
307
00:26:15,939 --> 00:26:19,208
Nuclear retaliation
after a sneak attack,
308
00:26:19,276 --> 00:26:22,812
If the normal chain of
command has been disrupted.
309
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,648
You approved it, sir. You must remember.
310
00:26:25,716 --> 00:26:29,652
Surely you must recall,
sir, when senator beaufort...
311
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:34,123
Made that big hassle about our
deterrent lacking credibility.
312
00:26:34,190 --> 00:26:39,061
The idea was for plan r to be
a sort of retaliatory safeguard.
313
00:26:39,129 --> 00:26:41,497
A safeguard?
314
00:26:41,565 --> 00:26:44,300
I admit the human element
seems to have failed us here.
315
00:26:44,367 --> 00:26:47,837
But the idea was to discourage
the ruskies from any hope...
316
00:26:47,905 --> 00:26:50,372
That they could knock out
washington-- and yourself, sir--
317
00:26:50,441 --> 00:26:52,842
As part of a general sneak attack...
318
00:26:52,910 --> 00:26:56,846
And escape retaliation because of
lack of proper command and control.
319
00:26:56,914 --> 00:27:01,551
I assume the planes will return automatically
once they reach their fail-safe points?
320
00:27:01,618 --> 00:27:07,222
I'm afraid not. The planes were
holding at their fail-safe points...
321
00:27:07,290 --> 00:27:09,291
When the go code was issued.
322
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,830
Once they fly beyond fail-safe, they do
not require a second order to proceed.
323
00:27:13,897 --> 00:27:15,865
They will continue until
they reach their targets.
324
00:27:15,933 --> 00:27:19,001
Why haven't you radioed the planes,
countermandering the go code?
325
00:27:19,069 --> 00:27:23,873
Well, I'm afraid we're unable to
communicate with any of the aircraft.
326
00:27:23,941 --> 00:27:28,410
Why? As you may recall,
sir-- [clears throat]
327
00:27:28,479 --> 00:27:32,214
One of the provisions
of plan r provides...
328
00:27:32,282 --> 00:27:36,853
That once the go code is received,
329
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,556
The normal s.S.B.
Radios in the aircraft...
330
00:27:40,624 --> 00:27:43,158
Are switched into a
special coded device,
331
00:27:43,226 --> 00:27:46,228
Which, I believe, is
designated as c.R.M. 114.
332
00:27:46,296 --> 00:27:50,399
In order to prevent the enemy from
issuing fake or confusing orders,
333
00:27:50,467 --> 00:27:54,504
C.R.M. 114 is designed
not to receive at all,
334
00:27:54,571 --> 00:28:00,009
Unless the message is proceeded by the
correct three-letter code group prefix.
335
00:28:00,076 --> 00:28:05,681
Do you mean to tell me, general Turgidson,
you will be unable to recall the aircraft?
336
00:28:05,749 --> 00:28:09,318
That's the size of it. However, we
are plowing through every possible...
337
00:28:09,386 --> 00:28:11,420
Three-letter combination of the code.
338
00:28:11,488 --> 00:28:16,759
But since there are 17,000 permutations,
339
00:28:16,827 --> 00:28:20,362
It's going to take us about
two-and-a-half days to transmit them all.
340
00:28:20,430 --> 00:28:23,165
How soon did you say the planes
would penetrate russian radar cover?
341
00:28:23,233 --> 00:28:25,200
About 18 minutes from now.
342
00:28:25,268 --> 00:28:28,303
- Are you in contact with general Ripper?
- No, sir.
343
00:28:28,371 --> 00:28:31,741
General Ripper sealed off the
base and cut off communications.
344
00:28:31,808 --> 00:28:33,442
Where did you get this information?
345
00:28:33,510 --> 00:28:37,246
General Ripper called strategic
air command headquarters...
346
00:28:37,313 --> 00:28:39,749
Shortly after he issued the go code.
347
00:28:39,816 --> 00:28:42,585
I have a portion of the
transcript of that conversation,
348
00:28:42,653 --> 00:28:46,088
If you'd like me to read it. Read it.
349
00:28:46,156 --> 00:28:49,859
[coughs] the duty officer
asked general Ripper...
350
00:28:49,927 --> 00:28:53,162
To confirm the fact that he had
issued the go code, and he said,
351
00:28:53,229 --> 00:28:58,500
"yes, gentlemen, they are on their
way in and no one can bring them back.
352
00:28:58,569 --> 00:29:01,470
"for the sake of our
country and our way of life,
353
00:29:01,538 --> 00:29:04,106
"I suggest you get the
rest of sac in after them.
354
00:29:04,174 --> 00:29:09,078
"otherwise we will be totally
destroyed by red retaliation.
355
00:29:09,145 --> 00:29:14,584
"my boys will give you the best
kind of start: 1,400 megatons worth.
356
00:29:14,651 --> 00:29:18,087
"and you sure as hell
won't stop them now.
357
00:29:18,154 --> 00:29:21,156
"so let's get going.
There's no other choice.
358
00:29:21,224 --> 00:29:24,393
"god willing, we will prevail...
359
00:29:24,461 --> 00:29:26,963
"in peace and freedom from fear...
360
00:29:27,030 --> 00:29:29,398
"and in true health
through the purity...
361
00:29:29,466 --> 00:29:33,368
"and essence of our natural...
362
00:29:33,436 --> 00:29:35,871
"fluids.
363
00:29:35,939 --> 00:29:38,774
God bless you all."
364
00:29:39,776 --> 00:29:42,444
Then he hung up.
365
00:29:42,512 --> 00:29:46,215
We're still trying to figure out
the meaning of that last phrase, sir.
366
00:29:46,282 --> 00:29:50,519
There's nothing to figure out.
This man is obviously a psychotic.
367
00:29:50,587 --> 00:29:55,691
I'd like to hold off judgment on a thing
like that until all the facts were in.
368
00:29:55,759 --> 00:30:00,429
General Turgidson, when you
instituted the human reliability tests,
369
00:30:00,497 --> 00:30:04,399
You assured me there was no possibility
of such a thing ever occurring.
370
00:30:05,936 --> 00:30:10,506
I don't think it's fair to
condemn a whole program...
371
00:30:10,573 --> 00:30:13,142
Because of a single slipup, sir.
372
00:30:13,209 --> 00:30:15,711
I want to speak to general Ripper
on the telephone personally.
373
00:30:15,779 --> 00:30:17,346
That's impossible.
374
00:30:17,413 --> 00:30:21,316
General Turgidson, I am becoming
less and less interested...
375
00:30:21,384 --> 00:30:25,254
In your estimates of what
is possible and impossible.
376
00:30:25,321 --> 00:30:28,590
[president] general faceman. Yes, sir?
377
00:30:28,659 --> 00:30:31,226
Are there any army units
stationed near burpelson?
378
00:30:31,294 --> 00:30:34,864
I'll just check, sir.
379
00:30:34,931 --> 00:30:38,167
[beeping]
380
00:30:38,234 --> 00:30:41,070
Hello?
381
00:30:41,138 --> 00:30:45,741
I told you never to call me
here. Don't you know where I am?
382
00:30:45,809 --> 00:30:48,144
Now, look, baby, I
can't talk to you now.
383
00:30:48,211 --> 00:30:50,179
My president needs me.
384
00:30:50,246 --> 00:30:52,782
Of course, bucky would
rather be there with you.
385
00:30:52,849 --> 00:30:56,852
What do you think about
civil defense? Hmm.
386
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,189
Of course, it isn't only
physical. [men talking, indistinct]
387
00:31:00,256 --> 00:31:02,992
I deeply respect you as a human being.
388
00:31:03,060 --> 00:31:06,896
Someday I'm going to make
you mrs. Buck Turgidson.
389
00:31:06,963 --> 00:31:10,066
Yeah, all right. Listen,
you go back to sleep, hon.
390
00:31:10,133 --> 00:31:13,135
Bucky will be back
there as soon as he can.
391
00:31:13,203 --> 00:31:18,440
All right. Listen, sug! Don't
forget to say your prayers.
392
00:31:24,514 --> 00:31:28,617
Apparently the 23rd airborne division...
393
00:31:28,685 --> 00:31:31,420
Is stationed seven
miles away at alvarado.
394
00:31:31,487 --> 00:31:35,858
General faceman, I want them to enter
the base, locate general Ripper...
395
00:31:35,926 --> 00:31:38,260
And put him in immediate
telephone contact with me.
396
00:31:38,328 --> 00:31:41,630
Yes, sir. [Turgidson] Mr. President?
397
00:31:41,698 --> 00:31:44,499
If I may advise. Under a condition red,
398
00:31:44,567 --> 00:31:47,870
It is standard procedure
that the base be sealed off...
399
00:31:47,938 --> 00:31:50,606
And the base defended
by base security troops.
400
00:31:50,673 --> 00:31:55,144
Any force trying to enter would
certainly encounter heavy casualties.
401
00:31:55,212 --> 00:31:58,914
General Turgidson, with all due
respect for your defense team,
402
00:31:58,982 --> 00:32:01,951
My boys can brush them aside
without too much trouble.
403
00:32:02,018 --> 00:32:07,623
Mr. President, there are one or two
points I'd like to make, if I may.
404
00:32:07,690 --> 00:32:10,092
Go ahead, general.
405
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:16,132
One, our hopes for recalling
the 843rd bomb wing...
406
00:32:16,199 --> 00:32:20,669
Are quickly being reduced to a
very low order of probability.
407
00:32:20,737 --> 00:32:23,805
Two, in less than 15 minutes from now,
408
00:32:23,873 --> 00:32:26,842
The ruskies will be making
radar contact with the planes.
409
00:32:26,909 --> 00:32:31,013
Three, when they do, they are
going to go absolutely ape.
410
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,616
They are going to strike
back with everything they got.
411
00:32:33,683 --> 00:32:36,918
Four, if prior to this time...
412
00:32:36,986 --> 00:32:40,189
We have done nothing to suppress
their retaliatory capabilities,
413
00:32:40,257 --> 00:32:43,825
We will suffer virtual annihilation.
414
00:32:43,893 --> 00:32:46,862
Now,
415
00:32:46,929 --> 00:32:49,298
Five,
416
00:32:49,366 --> 00:32:53,068
If, on the other hand,
417
00:32:53,136 --> 00:32:57,039
We were to immediately launch an
all-out and coordinated attack...
418
00:32:57,106 --> 00:32:59,375
On all their airfields
and missile bases,
419
00:32:59,442 --> 00:33:02,378
We'd stand a damn good chance of
catching 'em with their pants down.
420
00:33:02,445 --> 00:33:04,580
Hell, we got a five-to-one
missile superiority as it is.
421
00:33:04,648 --> 00:33:07,316
We could easily assign three
missiles to every target...
422
00:33:07,384 --> 00:33:10,952
And still have a very effective
reserve force for any other contingency.
423
00:33:11,020 --> 00:33:16,124
Ah, six! An unofficial study, which
we undertook of this eventuality,
424
00:33:16,193 --> 00:33:21,063
Indicated that we would destroy
90% of their nuclear capabilities.
425
00:33:21,130 --> 00:33:23,899
We would therefore prevail and suffer...
426
00:33:23,966 --> 00:33:27,603
Only modest and acceptable civilian
casualties from their remaining force,
427
00:33:27,671 --> 00:33:30,906
Which would be badly
damaged and uncoordinated.
428
00:33:30,973 --> 00:33:34,343
General, it is the avowed
policy of our country...
429
00:33:34,411 --> 00:33:36,978
Never to strike first
with nuclear weapons.
430
00:33:37,046 --> 00:33:41,783
Mr. President, general Ripper has
already invalidated that policy.
431
00:33:41,851 --> 00:33:46,288
That was not an act of national policy.
There are still alternatives open to us.
432
00:33:46,356 --> 00:33:51,594
Mr. President, we are rapidly
approaching a moment of truth,
433
00:33:51,661 --> 00:33:55,564
Both for ourselves as human beings
and for the life of our nation.
434
00:33:55,632 --> 00:33:58,300
Now, truth is not
always a pleasant thing.
435
00:33:58,368 --> 00:34:03,539
But it is necessary now to make a choice.
To choose between two admittedly regrettable,
436
00:34:03,607 --> 00:34:07,243
But nevertheless distinguishable,
postwar environments.
437
00:34:07,310 --> 00:34:09,378
One where you got 20
million people killed,
438
00:34:09,446 --> 00:34:11,913
And the other were you got
150 million people killed.
439
00:34:11,981 --> 00:34:14,983
You're talking about mass
murder, general, not war.
440
00:34:15,051 --> 00:34:18,787
Mr. President, I'm not saying
we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
441
00:34:18,855 --> 00:34:23,392
But I do say no more than 10
to 20 million killed. Tops!
442
00:34:23,460 --> 00:34:25,461
Depending on the breaks.
443
00:34:25,528 --> 00:34:29,498
I will not go down in history as the
greatest mass murderer since adolph hitler!
444
00:34:29,566 --> 00:34:33,235
It might be better if you were more
concerned with the american people...
445
00:34:33,303 --> 00:34:35,571
Than with your image
in the history books.
446
00:34:35,639 --> 00:34:41,209
General Turgidson, I've heard quite
sufficient from you. Thank you very much.
447
00:34:41,278 --> 00:34:43,412
Mr. President, they have the
ambassador waiting upstairs.
448
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,481
Good. Any difficulty?
449
00:34:45,548 --> 00:34:48,016
He's having a fit about that
squad of m.P.S. Can't be helped.
450
00:34:48,084 --> 00:34:50,018
Have him brought here straightaway.
451
00:34:50,086 --> 00:34:52,488
Yes, sir.
Is that--
452
00:34:52,555 --> 00:34:56,425
- Is that the russian ambassador?
- Yes, it is, general.
453
00:34:56,493 --> 00:35:01,430
A-am I to understand
the russian ambassador...
454
00:35:01,498 --> 00:35:03,932
Is to be admitted
entrance to the war room?
455
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,902
Correct. He is here on my orders.
456
00:35:09,005 --> 00:35:12,007
I-I-I don't know exactly
how to put this, sir.
457
00:35:12,074 --> 00:35:15,944
But are you aware of what a
breach of security that would be?
458
00:35:16,012 --> 00:35:19,748
He'll see everything.
He'll see the big board.
459
00:35:19,816 --> 00:35:25,287
That is precisely the idea,
general. That is precisely the idea.
460
00:35:25,355 --> 00:35:30,759
[president] staines, get
premier kissoff on the hot line.
461
00:35:37,867 --> 00:35:41,970
[kong] "survival kit contents check.
462
00:35:42,038 --> 00:35:46,775
"in them you will find
one .45 caliber automatic,
463
00:35:46,843 --> 00:35:49,478
"two boxes of ammunition,
464
00:35:49,546 --> 00:35:52,681
"four days concentrated
emergency rations,
465
00:35:52,749 --> 00:35:56,117
"one drug issue containing antibiotics,
466
00:35:56,185 --> 00:36:00,456
"morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills,
467
00:36:00,523 --> 00:36:04,360
"sleepin' pills, tranquilizer pills,
468
00:36:04,427 --> 00:36:09,231
"one miniature combination
russian phrase book and bible,
469
00:36:09,298 --> 00:36:12,334
"$100 in rubles,
470
00:36:12,402 --> 00:36:14,570
"$100 in gold,
471
00:36:14,637 --> 00:36:17,373
"nine packs of chewing gum,
472
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,441
"one issue of prophylactics,
473
00:36:19,509 --> 00:36:23,579
Three lipsticks, three
pair of nylon stockings."
474
00:36:23,646 --> 00:36:28,316
Shoot, a fellow could have a pretty good
weekend in vegas with all that stuff.
475
00:36:33,656 --> 00:36:36,725
You don't have any fresh
fish? I'm afraid not, sir.
476
00:36:36,793 --> 00:36:39,060
Your eggs? They are
fresh? Oh, yes, sir.
477
00:36:39,128 --> 00:36:43,131
I will have poached eggs. And bring
me some cigars, please. Havana cigars.
478
00:36:43,199 --> 00:36:45,100
That will be all, sir? Yes.
479
00:36:45,167 --> 00:36:47,135
I'll see to it right away.
480
00:36:47,203 --> 00:36:49,738
Try one of these jamaican
cigars, ambassador. They're good.
481
00:36:49,806 --> 00:36:53,442
Thank you, no. I do not support
the work of imperialist stooges.
482
00:36:53,510 --> 00:36:55,911
Oh, only commie stooges, huh?
483
00:36:55,978 --> 00:36:58,847
Psst. Mr. President?
484
00:36:58,915 --> 00:37:02,584
You gonna let that lousy commie
punk vomit all over us like this?
485
00:37:02,652 --> 00:37:07,756
Mr. President, they haven't been able
to reach premier kissoff in the kremlin.
486
00:37:07,824 --> 00:37:11,460
They don't know where he is, and
he won't be back for two hours.
487
00:37:11,528 --> 00:37:14,062
Try b-8-6-5-4-3
moscow. Yes, sir.
488
00:37:14,130 --> 00:37:16,064
You would never have found
him through his office.
489
00:37:16,132 --> 00:37:20,302
Our premier is a man of the people,
but he is also a man, if you follow.
490
00:37:20,369 --> 00:37:22,504
[chuckles] fine.
Degenerate atheistic commie.
491
00:37:22,572 --> 00:37:26,408
What? I said premier kissoff is
a degenerate atheistic commie!
492
00:37:26,476 --> 00:37:29,845
Have this
fool-- [arguing]
493
00:37:29,913 --> 00:37:34,316
Mr. President! I think
they're trying the number.
494
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,655
[arguing, scuffling]
495
00:37:39,722 --> 00:37:44,259
[muttering in russian]
you bully! [muttering]
496
00:37:44,327 --> 00:37:47,395
Gentlemen, you can't fight in
here! This is the war room!
497
00:37:47,464 --> 00:37:50,231
What is going on? I
demand an explanation.
498
00:37:50,299 --> 00:37:54,470
This clumsy fool tried to plant
that ridiculous camera on me.
499
00:37:54,537 --> 00:37:57,172
You bet your sweets, Mr. Commie
! Look at this, Mr. President.
500
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,809
This lousy commie rat was taking
pictures with this of the big board!
501
00:38:00,877 --> 00:38:03,779
Mr. Ambassador!
502
00:38:03,847 --> 00:38:08,283
This clumsy fool attempted to
plant that ridiculous camera on me.
503
00:38:08,351 --> 00:38:11,019
That's a damn lie! I
saw him with my own eyes!
504
00:38:11,087 --> 00:38:15,357
Gentlemen, this is outrageous. I have never
heard of such behavior in the war room before.
505
00:38:15,424 --> 00:38:17,926
Mr. President, I think they're
getting him on the line.
506
00:38:22,799 --> 00:38:26,334
[indistinct rumbling]
507
00:38:43,386 --> 00:38:47,789
You sure got to hand
it to those commies.
508
00:38:47,857 --> 00:38:52,661
Yeah. Gee, those trucks sure look
like the real thing, don't they?
509
00:38:52,729 --> 00:38:54,663
I wonder where they got them from.
510
00:38:54,731 --> 00:38:56,765
Probably bought them from
the army as war surplus.
511
00:38:56,833 --> 00:38:59,501
[vehicles continue approaching]
512
00:38:59,569 --> 00:39:03,906
Okay. Open up at 200 yards.
513
00:39:11,247 --> 00:39:14,382
[men shouting]
514
00:39:17,554 --> 00:39:20,956
[shouting continues]
515
00:39:42,979 --> 00:39:46,648
[gunfire continues]
516
00:39:55,058 --> 00:39:58,026
[gunfire continues]
517
00:40:00,429 --> 00:40:05,266
Tell him where you are and that you'll enter
the conversation if I say anything untrue.
518
00:40:05,334 --> 00:40:07,803
But, please, don't tell
him anything more than that.
519
00:40:07,870 --> 00:40:13,108
Alexi? Alexi, please.
I beg you.
520
00:40:13,175 --> 00:40:15,077
But I don't have a phone.
521
00:40:15,144 --> 00:40:19,147
Give him the phone, frank.
522
00:40:21,183 --> 00:40:25,286
[ambassador speaking russian]
523
00:40:25,354 --> 00:40:29,725
[russian continues]
524
00:40:42,404 --> 00:40:44,339
[russian continues]
525
00:40:44,406 --> 00:40:47,375
I've done as you asked.
526
00:40:47,443 --> 00:40:50,311
Be careful, Mr. President.
I think he is drunk.
527
00:40:52,281 --> 00:40:54,249
Hello?
528
00:40:54,316 --> 00:40:57,986
Uh, hello, Dimitri?
529
00:40:58,054 --> 00:41:03,058
Listen, I can't hear too well. Do you suppose
you could turn the music down a little?
530
00:41:03,126 --> 00:41:05,560
That's much better.
531
00:41:05,628 --> 00:41:09,497
Yeah. [chuckles] yeah.
532
00:41:09,565 --> 00:41:12,467
Fine. I can hear you now, Dimitri.
533
00:41:12,535 --> 00:41:15,470
Clear and plain and coming
through fine.
534
00:41:15,538 --> 00:41:18,106
I'm coming through fine too, eh?
535
00:41:18,174 --> 00:41:21,043
Good, then--
well, then,
536
00:41:21,110 --> 00:41:24,079
As you say, we're both
coming through fine.
537
00:41:24,147 --> 00:41:28,850
Good. Well, it's good that
you're fine, and I'm fine.
538
00:41:28,918 --> 00:41:32,888
I agree with you. It's
great to be fine. [chuckles]
539
00:41:32,955 --> 00:41:37,258
Now, then, Dimitri, you know how...
540
00:41:37,326 --> 00:41:41,029
We've always talked
about the possibility...
541
00:41:41,097 --> 00:41:43,665
Of something going wrong with the bomb.
542
00:41:43,733 --> 00:41:46,568
The bomb, Dimitri.
543
00:41:48,237 --> 00:41:50,872
The hydrogen bomb.
544
00:41:50,940 --> 00:41:53,909
Well, now, what happened is, uh,
545
00:41:53,976 --> 00:41:58,279
One of our base commanders,
he had a sort of--
546
00:41:58,347 --> 00:42:01,683
Well, he went a little
funny in the head.
547
00:42:01,751 --> 00:42:04,786
You know, just a little funny.
548
00:42:04,854 --> 00:42:09,691
And, uh, he went and did a silly thing.
549
00:42:09,759 --> 00:42:13,829
Well, I'll tell you what he
did. He ordered his planes...
550
00:42:15,397 --> 00:42:18,366
To attack
your country--
551
00:42:18,434 --> 00:42:20,401
Well, let me finish, Dimitri.
552
00:42:20,469 --> 00:42:23,371
Let me finish, Dimitri.
553
00:42:23,439 --> 00:42:26,274
Well, listen, how do you
think I feel about it?
554
00:42:26,342 --> 00:42:29,577
Can you imagine how I
feel about it, Dimitri?
555
00:42:29,645 --> 00:42:33,281
Why do you think I'm calling you?
556
00:42:33,349 --> 00:42:36,284
Just to say hello?
557
00:42:36,352 --> 00:42:38,887
Of course I like to speak to you!
558
00:42:38,955 --> 00:42:41,522
Of course I like to say hello!
559
00:42:41,590 --> 00:42:43,725
Not now, but any time, Dimitri.
560
00:42:43,793 --> 00:42:48,130
I'm just calling up to tell you
something terrible has happened.
561
00:42:48,197 --> 00:42:50,966
It's a friendly call. Of
course, it's a friendly call.
562
00:42:51,033 --> 00:42:55,270
Listen, if it wasn't friendly, you
probably wouldn't have even got it.
563
00:42:57,539 --> 00:43:02,310
They will not reach their
targets for at least another hour.
564
00:43:02,378 --> 00:43:05,446
I am-- I am
positive, Dimitri.
565
00:43:05,514 --> 00:43:07,949
Listen, I've been all over
this with your ambassador.
566
00:43:08,017 --> 00:43:10,819
It is not a trick.
567
00:43:10,887 --> 00:43:14,122
Well, I'll tell you. We'd
like to give your air staff...
568
00:43:14,190 --> 00:43:19,327
A complete rundown on the targets, flight
plans and defensive systems of the planes.
569
00:43:19,395 --> 00:43:24,266
Yes, if we're unable
to recall the planes.
570
00:43:24,333 --> 00:43:28,369
I'd say
that-- well,
571
00:43:28,437 --> 00:43:33,041
We're just gonna have to help
you destroy them, Dimitri.
572
00:43:33,109 --> 00:43:35,844
I know they're our boys.
573
00:43:35,912 --> 00:43:40,215
All right, well, listen.
Now, who should we call?
574
00:43:40,283 --> 00:43:45,987
Who should we call?
Sorry, you faded away there.
575
00:43:46,055 --> 00:43:49,891
The peoples central air
defense headquarters.
576
00:43:49,959 --> 00:43:55,530
Where is that, Dimitri
? In omsk. Right.
577
00:43:55,597 --> 00:43:59,835
Yes. Oh, you'll call
them first, will you?
578
00:43:59,902 --> 00:44:05,140
Uh-huh. Listen, do you happen to
have the phone number on you, Dimitri?
579
00:44:05,208 --> 00:44:07,976
I see. Just ask for omsk information.
580
00:44:08,044 --> 00:44:10,011
[stammering]
581
00:44:10,079 --> 00:44:14,916
I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry.
582
00:44:14,984 --> 00:44:17,652
All right, you're sorrier than I am.
583
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,188
But I am sorry as well.
584
00:44:21,224 --> 00:44:23,558
I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri.
585
00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:25,894
Don't say that you're
more sorry than I am,
586
00:44:25,962 --> 00:44:29,130
Because I'm capable of being
just as sorry as you are.
587
00:44:29,198 --> 00:44:33,434
So, we're both sorry,
all right? All right.
588
00:44:33,502 --> 00:44:38,039
Yes, he's right here. He wants
to talk to you. Just a second.
589
00:44:39,842 --> 00:44:44,379
[speaking in russian]
590
00:44:50,319 --> 00:44:54,122
What? [ambassador speaking in russian]
591
00:44:54,190 --> 00:44:58,626
[russian continues]
592
00:44:59,661 --> 00:45:03,831
[russian continues]
593
00:45:10,572 --> 00:45:13,708
What? What is it? What?
594
00:45:13,776 --> 00:45:18,079
The fools. The mad fools.
595
00:45:18,147 --> 00:45:22,617
What's happened? The doomsday machine.
596
00:45:22,684 --> 00:45:25,320
The doomsday machine? What is that?
597
00:45:25,388 --> 00:45:30,858
A device which will destroy all
human and animal life on earth.
598
00:45:30,927 --> 00:45:34,095
[president] all human and animal life?
599
00:45:34,163 --> 00:45:38,233
[gunfire continues]
600
00:45:47,910 --> 00:45:51,546
Mandrake? Yes, jack?
601
00:45:51,613 --> 00:45:55,283
Have you ever seen a commie
drink a glass of water?
602
00:45:55,351 --> 00:46:00,989
Well, I can't say I have,
jack. [nervous chuckle]
603
00:46:01,057 --> 00:46:05,961
Vodka. That's what they
drink, isn't it? Never water.
604
00:46:06,028 --> 00:46:10,265
Well, I believe that's
what they drink, jack. Yes.
605
00:46:10,333 --> 00:46:14,002
On no account will a
commie ever drink water...
606
00:46:14,070 --> 00:46:17,305
And not without good reason.
607
00:46:17,373 --> 00:46:20,075
Oh, ah, yes.
608
00:46:20,142 --> 00:46:23,445
I, um, can't quite...
609
00:46:23,512 --> 00:46:26,448
See what you're getting at, jack.
610
00:46:26,515 --> 00:46:31,019
Water. That's what
I'm getting at. Water.
611
00:46:31,087 --> 00:46:36,124
Mandrake, water is
the source of all life.
612
00:46:36,192 --> 00:46:39,694
Seven-tenths of this
earth's surface is water.
613
00:46:39,761 --> 00:46:45,133
Why, do you realize that
70% of you is water?
614
00:46:45,201 --> 00:46:47,735
Good lord.
615
00:46:47,803 --> 00:46:52,874
And as human beings, you and
I need fresh, pure water...
616
00:46:52,941 --> 00:46:56,544
To replenish our precious
bodily fluids. Yes.
617
00:46:56,612 --> 00:47:01,549
You beginning to understand? Yes.
618
00:47:01,617 --> 00:47:06,554
[chuckling] Mandrake?
619
00:47:06,622 --> 00:47:12,060
Mandrake, have you never wondered
why I drink only distilled water...
620
00:47:12,128 --> 00:47:16,431
Or rainwater and only
pure grain alcohol?
621
00:47:16,499 --> 00:47:20,868
Well, it did occur to me, jack. Yes.
622
00:47:20,936 --> 00:47:25,840
Have you ever heard of a thing
called fluoridation of water?
623
00:47:25,908 --> 00:47:29,977
Uh, yes, I have heard
of that, jack. Yes.
624
00:47:30,046 --> 00:47:34,815
Do you know what it is? No.
No. I don't know what it is.
625
00:47:34,883 --> 00:47:39,020
[gunfire continues] do you
realize that fluoridation...
626
00:47:39,088 --> 00:47:41,856
Is the most monstrously conceived...
627
00:47:41,924 --> 00:47:44,792
And dangerous communist plot
we have ever had to face?
628
00:47:50,866 --> 00:47:53,168
Two can play at that game, soldier.
629
00:47:58,174 --> 00:48:01,709
That's nice shooting, soldier!
630
00:48:01,777 --> 00:48:05,280
[gunfire continues]
631
00:48:25,367 --> 00:48:27,502
Mandrake, come here!
632
00:48:27,570 --> 00:48:32,673
You calling me, jack? Come over
here and help me with this belt.
633
00:48:32,741 --> 00:48:37,678
I, uh-- I haven't had
very much experience,
634
00:48:37,746 --> 00:48:41,349
You know, with those
sort of machines, jack.
635
00:48:41,417 --> 00:48:44,552
I've only ever pressed a
button in my old spitfire.
636
00:48:44,620 --> 00:48:46,554
Mandrake, in the name of her
majesty and the continental congress,
637
00:48:46,622 --> 00:48:48,590
Come here and feed me this belt, boy.
638
00:48:48,657 --> 00:48:53,595
Jack, I'd love to come, but
what's happened, you see,
639
00:48:53,662 --> 00:48:57,365
The string in my leg is gone.
640
00:48:57,433 --> 00:49:00,368
The what? The string. I never told you.
641
00:49:00,436 --> 00:49:05,140
But you see, I got a gammy
leg-- oh, dear. Gone. Shot off.
642
00:49:05,207 --> 00:49:11,312
[gunfire continues] Mandrake, come
here. The red coats are comin'.
643
00:49:11,380 --> 00:49:16,584
When it is detonated, it will
produce enough radioactive fallout...
644
00:49:16,652 --> 00:49:19,787
So that in ten months the
surface of the earth...
645
00:49:19,855 --> 00:49:22,357
Will be as dead as the moon! Ah!
646
00:49:22,424 --> 00:49:24,492
Come on, de sadesky!
That's ridiculous!
647
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:28,763
Our studies show even the worst fallout
is down to a safe level after two weeks.
648
00:49:28,830 --> 00:49:33,768
You've obviously never heard of
cobalt thorium g. What about it?
649
00:49:33,835 --> 00:49:37,905
Cobalt thorium g has a
radioactive half-life of 93 years.
650
00:49:37,973 --> 00:49:41,142
If you take 50 h bombs in
the 100 megaton range...
651
00:49:41,210 --> 00:49:43,711
And jacket them with cobalt thorium g,
652
00:49:43,779 --> 00:49:48,383
When they are exploded they
will produce a doomsday shroud,
653
00:49:48,450 --> 00:49:52,620
A lethal cloud of radioactivity
which will encircle the earth...
654
00:49:52,688 --> 00:49:55,256
For 93 years!
655
00:49:55,324 --> 00:49:58,759
What a load of commie
bull. I mean, after all.
656
00:49:58,827 --> 00:50:02,497
I'm afraid I don't
understand something, alexi.
657
00:50:02,565 --> 00:50:06,234
Is the premier threatening to explode
this if our planes carry out their attack?
658
00:50:06,302 --> 00:50:08,903
No, sir. It is not a
thing a sane man would do.
659
00:50:08,970 --> 00:50:11,906
The doomsday machine is designed
to trigger itself automatically.
660
00:50:11,973 --> 00:50:14,275
But, surely, you can
disarm it somehow. No.
661
00:50:14,343 --> 00:50:18,446
It is designed to explode if any
attempt is made to un-trigger it.
662
00:50:18,514 --> 00:50:21,015
Automatically? It's a commie trick!
663
00:50:21,083 --> 00:50:23,518
We're wasting valuable
time. Look at the big board!
664
00:50:23,586 --> 00:50:26,354
They're getting ready to clobber us!
665
00:50:26,422 --> 00:50:30,157
This is absolute madness. Why
should you build such a thing?
666
00:50:30,226 --> 00:50:32,227
There were those of us
who fought against it.
667
00:50:32,294 --> 00:50:35,263
But in the end we could not keep up with
the expense involved in the arms race,
668
00:50:35,331 --> 00:50:38,866
The space race and the peace race.
669
00:50:38,934 --> 00:50:44,205
At the same time our people grumbled
for more nylons and washing machines.
670
00:50:44,273 --> 00:50:46,874
Our doomsday scheme cost
us just a small fraction...
671
00:50:46,942 --> 00:50:50,245
Of what we have been spending
on defense in a single year.
672
00:50:50,312 --> 00:50:54,682
But the deciding factor was when we learned
your country was working along similar lines.
673
00:50:54,750 --> 00:50:57,785
We were afraid of a doomsday
gap! This is preposterous!
674
00:50:57,853 --> 00:51:00,154
I've never approved
of anything like that.
675
00:51:00,222 --> 00:51:02,957
Our source was the new york times.
676
00:51:03,024 --> 00:51:06,927
Dr. Strangelove, do we have
anything like that in the works?
677
00:51:06,995 --> 00:51:12,133
A moment, please, Mr. President.
678
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,637
Under the authority granted me...
679
00:51:15,704 --> 00:51:19,907
As director of weapons
research and development,
680
00:51:19,975 --> 00:51:24,145
I commissioned last year
a study of this project...
681
00:51:24,212 --> 00:51:26,547
By the bland corporation.
682
00:51:26,615 --> 00:51:32,119
Based on the findings of the
report, my conclusion was that...
683
00:51:32,187 --> 00:51:35,189
This idea was not a
practical deterrent...
684
00:51:35,257 --> 00:51:39,160
For reasons which at this
moment must be all too obvious.
685
00:51:39,227 --> 00:51:42,664
Then you mean it is possible for
them to have built such a thing?
686
00:51:46,134 --> 00:51:49,804
Mr. President, the
technology required...
687
00:51:49,871 --> 00:51:53,775
Is easily within the means
of even the smallest...
688
00:51:53,842 --> 00:51:56,210
Nuclear power.
689
00:51:56,278 --> 00:52:01,081
It requires only the will to do so.
690
00:52:01,149 --> 00:52:05,085
But how is it possible for this
thing to be triggered automatically...
691
00:52:05,153 --> 00:52:07,422
And at the same time
impossible to un-trigger?
692
00:52:07,489 --> 00:52:11,759
Mr. President, it is not only possible,
693
00:52:11,827 --> 00:52:13,961
It is essential.
694
00:52:14,029 --> 00:52:18,098
That is the whole idea
of this machine, you know.
695
00:52:18,166 --> 00:52:23,304
Deterrence is the art of producing
in the mind of the enemy...
696
00:52:23,372 --> 00:52:26,006
The fear to attack.
697
00:52:26,074 --> 00:52:31,011
And so because of the automated and
irrevocable decision-making process...
698
00:52:31,079 --> 00:52:35,015
Which rules out human meddling,
699
00:52:35,083 --> 00:52:39,119
The doomsday machine is terrifying...
700
00:52:39,187 --> 00:52:41,188
And simple to understand...
701
00:52:41,256 --> 00:52:44,859
And completely credible and convincing.
702
00:52:44,926 --> 00:52:48,329
Gee, I wish we had one
of them doomsday machines.
703
00:52:48,397 --> 00:52:52,032
But this is fantastic, Strangelove.
How can it be triggered automatically?
704
00:52:52,100 --> 00:52:55,903
It's remarkably simple to do that.
705
00:52:55,971 --> 00:52:59,507
When you merely wish to bury bombs,
706
00:52:59,575 --> 00:53:01,976
There's no limit to the size.
707
00:53:02,043 --> 00:53:05,246
After that, they are connected...
708
00:53:05,313 --> 00:53:08,315
To a gigantic complex of computers.
709
00:53:08,384 --> 00:53:12,219
Now, then, a specific
and clearly defined...
710
00:53:12,287 --> 00:53:14,288
Set of circumstances...
711
00:53:14,356 --> 00:53:17,625
Under which the bombs
are to be exploded...
712
00:53:17,693 --> 00:53:21,729
Is programmed into a tape memory bank.
713
00:53:21,797 --> 00:53:25,633
Hmm? Strangelove? [Strangelove
continues, indistinct]
714
00:53:25,701 --> 00:53:29,036
What kind of a name is that?
That ain't no kraut name, is it?
715
00:53:29,104 --> 00:53:31,706
He changed it when he became a citizen.
716
00:53:31,774 --> 00:53:34,475
It used to be merkwurdichliebe.
717
00:53:34,543 --> 00:53:38,979
Well, a kraut by any
other name, uh, stainsey?
718
00:53:40,282 --> 00:53:45,219
...Is that the whole point
of the doomsday machine...
719
00:53:45,287 --> 00:53:49,023
Is lost, if you keep it a secret!
720
00:53:49,090 --> 00:53:51,058
Why didn't you tell the world, eh?
721
00:53:51,126 --> 00:53:55,530
It was to be announced at
the party congress on Monday.
722
00:53:55,597 --> 00:53:58,966
As you know, the
premier loves surprises.
723
00:53:59,034 --> 00:54:03,003
[gunfire continues]
724
00:54:05,974 --> 00:54:08,643
[men shouting]
725
00:54:13,549 --> 00:54:16,050
[shouting continues]
726
00:54:47,449 --> 00:54:50,384
Stay with me, Mandrake.
727
00:54:54,623 --> 00:54:58,526
All right, Mandrake. Now,
feed me. Feed me, boy.
728
00:55:25,621 --> 00:55:29,289
[laughs] jack, don't you
think we'd be better off...
729
00:55:29,357 --> 00:55:32,459
In some other part of the room
away from all this flying glass?
730
00:55:32,528 --> 00:55:36,163
We're okay here. [laughs]
731
00:55:36,231 --> 00:55:39,934
Mandrake, do you realize that in
addition to fluoridating water,
732
00:55:40,002 --> 00:55:43,971
There are studies underway
to fluoridate salt, flour,
733
00:55:44,039 --> 00:55:49,243
Fruit, juices, soup,
sugar, milk, ice cream.
734
00:55:49,310 --> 00:55:52,880
- Ice cream, Mandrake. Children's ice cream.
- Good lord.
735
00:55:52,948 --> 00:55:56,617
You know when fluoridation first began?
736
00:55:56,685 --> 00:56:00,988
Uh, no, no. I don't, jack. 1946.
737
00:56:01,056 --> 00:56:04,124
1946, Mandrake. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
738
00:56:04,192 --> 00:56:08,062
How does that coincide with your
postwar commie conspiracy, huh?
739
00:56:08,129 --> 00:56:11,532
It's incredibly obvious, isn't it?
740
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:17,104
A foreign substance is introduced
into our precious bodily fluids...
741
00:56:17,172 --> 00:56:20,507
Without the knowledge of the individual.
742
00:56:20,576 --> 00:56:24,078
Certainly without any
choice. [gunfire continues]
743
00:56:24,145 --> 00:56:26,814
That's the way a
hard-core commie works.
744
00:56:26,882 --> 00:56:29,083
[gunfire continues] [glass shattering]
745
00:56:29,150 --> 00:56:34,989
Ah, jack, jack. Tell me, jack,
when did you first become--
746
00:56:35,057 --> 00:56:37,758
Well, develop this theory?
747
00:56:37,826 --> 00:56:40,995
Well,
I, uh--
748
00:56:41,063 --> 00:56:44,799
I-I first became aware of it, Mandrake,
749
00:56:44,866 --> 00:56:48,535
During the physical act of love. Huh.
750
00:56:48,604 --> 00:56:52,940
Yes, a, uh, profound sense of fatigue,
751
00:56:53,008 --> 00:56:55,509
Feeling of emptiness followed.
752
00:56:55,577 --> 00:57:00,748
Luckily I was able to interpret
these feelings correctly. Uh-huh.
753
00:57:00,816 --> 00:57:03,884
- Loss of essence.
- Huh.
754
00:57:03,952 --> 00:57:07,822
I can assure you it has
not recurred, Mandrake.
755
00:57:07,889 --> 00:57:11,926
Women sense my power,
756
00:57:11,994 --> 00:57:15,395
And they seek the life essence.
757
00:57:15,463 --> 00:57:18,866
I do not avoid women, Mandrake. No.
758
00:57:18,934 --> 00:57:21,636
But I do deny them my essence.
759
00:57:21,703 --> 00:57:24,639
Yes, jack.
760
00:57:37,218 --> 00:57:39,953
[man shouting] cease fire!
761
00:57:40,021 --> 00:57:43,691
[shouting continues]
762
00:57:52,934 --> 00:57:57,271
[gunfire lessening]
763
00:58:00,609 --> 00:58:02,543
My boys must have surrendered.
764
00:58:02,611 --> 00:58:06,681
Well, there it is. Now, jack, listen.
765
00:58:06,748 --> 00:58:11,151
While there's still time, I beg
you, let's recall the wing and--
766
00:58:12,253 --> 00:58:16,557
Those boys were like
my children, Mandrake.
767
00:58:16,625 --> 00:58:20,093
- Now they let me down.
- No, no, jack! Not a bit of it.
768
00:58:20,161 --> 00:58:23,431
I'm sure they all gave
it their very best.
769
00:58:23,498 --> 00:58:25,966
I'm equally sure they
all died thinking of you,
770
00:58:26,034 --> 00:58:28,669
Every man jack of them, jack.
771
00:58:28,737 --> 00:58:30,738
Supposing a bit of
water has gone off, eh?
772
00:58:30,806 --> 00:58:33,541
Certainly one can never be
too sure about those things.
773
00:58:33,608 --> 00:58:36,744
But look at me now. Do I
look all rancid and clotted?
774
00:58:36,812 --> 00:58:39,847
Look at me, jack. Look. Huh? Huh?
775
00:58:39,914 --> 00:58:43,951
And I drink a lot of water. I'm
what you might call a water man.
776
00:58:44,018 --> 00:58:47,321
And I can swear to you,
my boy-- swear to you,
777
00:58:47,389 --> 00:58:49,890
That there's nothing wrong
with my bodily fluids.
778
00:58:49,958 --> 00:58:52,025
Not a thing, jackie.
779
00:58:52,093 --> 00:58:54,528
Mandrake, were you
ever a prisoner of war?
780
00:58:54,596 --> 00:58:58,332
Well, jack, the
time's running very--
781
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:01,502
What? Were you ever a prisoner of war?
782
00:59:01,570 --> 00:59:03,771
Yes, I was, as a matter of fact.
783
00:59:03,839 --> 00:59:07,441
Did they torture you
? Uh, yes, they did.
784
00:59:07,509 --> 00:59:10,110
I was tortured by the japanese,
jack, if you must know.
785
00:59:10,178 --> 00:59:12,880
Not a pretty story.
Well, what happened?
786
00:59:12,947 --> 00:59:15,048
Oh, well, I don't know, jack.
787
00:59:15,116 --> 00:59:17,685
It's difficult to think of
under these conditions, but,
788
00:59:17,753 --> 00:59:19,987
Well, what happened was,
789
00:59:20,054 --> 00:59:23,290
They got me on the old, uh,
rangoon-inchinawa railway.
790
00:59:23,358 --> 00:59:27,828
I was laying train lines for
the bloody japanese puff-puffs.
791
00:59:27,896 --> 00:59:31,164
No, I mean, when they
tortured you, did you talk?
792
00:59:31,232 --> 00:59:33,868
Ah, oh,
no, I--
793
00:59:33,935 --> 00:59:36,871
Well, I don't think they
wanted me to talk, really.
794
00:59:36,938 --> 00:59:39,407
I don't think they
wanted me to say anything.
795
00:59:39,474 --> 00:59:42,410
It was just their way of
having a bit of fun, the swines.
796
00:59:42,477 --> 00:59:45,846
The strange thing is, they
make such bloody good cameras.
797
00:59:45,914 --> 00:59:49,850
You know, those clowns
outside are going to give me...
798
00:59:49,918 --> 00:59:53,220
A pretty good going-over in
a few minutes, for the code.
799
00:59:53,288 --> 00:59:55,923
Yes--
800
00:59:55,991 --> 00:59:59,593
Yes, well, you may have a-- you
may have quite a point there, jack.
801
00:59:59,660 --> 01:00:03,663
I don't know how well I
could stand up under torture.
802
01:00:03,731 --> 01:00:06,934
Well, of course, the answer to
that is, boy, no one ever does.
803
01:00:07,002 --> 01:00:11,205
And my advice to you, jack,
is to give me the code now.
804
01:00:11,273 --> 01:00:14,174
And if those devils come
back and try any rough stuff,
805
01:00:14,242 --> 01:00:17,544
We'll fight 'em together like we
did just now on the floor, eh?
806
01:00:17,612 --> 01:00:20,814
You with your gun and me with
a belt of ammo, feeding you.
807
01:00:20,882 --> 01:00:24,018
"feed me," you said, and
I was feeding you, jack.
808
01:00:24,085 --> 01:00:26,720
You know, Mandrake,
809
01:00:26,788 --> 01:00:30,090
I happen to believe in
a life after this one...
810
01:00:31,559 --> 01:00:35,029
And I know I'll have to
answer for what I've done.
811
01:00:36,331 --> 01:00:38,299
And I think I can.
812
01:00:38,366 --> 01:00:41,601
Yes, of course you can.
Of course you can. You can.
813
01:00:41,669 --> 01:00:44,104
I'm a religious man myself, you know.
814
01:00:44,172 --> 01:00:48,042
I believe in all that sort of thing
and, uh, I'm hoping, you know, jack--
815
01:00:48,109 --> 01:00:50,444
[clanking] you've
dropped your gun, jack.
816
01:00:50,511 --> 01:00:54,014
You know what I-- no, jack,
let me take that for you.
817
01:00:54,082 --> 01:00:56,083
And you know what I'm hoping, jack?
818
01:00:56,151 --> 01:00:58,852
I'm hoping you're going
to give me the code, boy.
819
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:02,622
Oh, you're going to have a little
wash and brush up? What a good idea.
820
01:01:02,690 --> 01:01:05,292
Always did wonders for a man
that, a wash and brush up.
821
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:08,095
Water on the back of the
neck makes you feel marvelous.
822
01:01:08,163 --> 01:01:10,931
That's what we need: Water on
the back of the neck and the code.
823
01:01:10,999 --> 01:01:14,634
Supposing I play a little
guessing game with you, jack boy?
824
01:01:14,702 --> 01:01:17,671
I'll try and guess what
the code is-- [gunshot]
825
01:01:17,738 --> 01:01:19,739
[thudding]
826
01:01:34,189 --> 01:01:38,658
Copilot to navigator. I'm
ready with the fuel figures now.
827
01:01:38,726 --> 01:01:41,695
We have 109,000 total,
828
01:01:41,762 --> 01:01:44,631
79,000 in the mains...
829
01:01:44,699 --> 01:01:47,501
And 30,000 in the auxiliaries.
830
01:01:47,568 --> 01:01:49,503
And that works out to roughly...
831
01:01:49,570 --> 01:01:53,007
Seven hours, 15 minutes
endurance from this time.
832
01:01:53,074 --> 01:01:55,609
D.S.O. To captain.
833
01:01:55,676 --> 01:01:58,812
I have an unidentified radar blip.
834
01:02:00,181 --> 01:02:02,816
Distance: 60 miles.
835
01:02:03,951 --> 01:02:07,087
Approximate speed: Mach three.
836
01:02:07,155 --> 01:02:10,957
Looks like a missile tracking us.
837
01:02:11,026 --> 01:02:14,094
Confirmed: Definite missile track.
838
01:02:14,162 --> 01:02:16,296
Commence evasive action right.
839
01:02:22,470 --> 01:02:26,173
Missile still closing range.
840
01:02:26,241 --> 01:02:30,277
Distance: 50 miles.
Continue evasive action.
841
01:02:30,345 --> 01:02:33,013
Lock e.C.M. To target intercept mode.
842
01:02:33,081 --> 01:02:36,750
E.C.M. Locked to target intercept mode.
843
01:02:36,817 --> 01:02:39,219
Missile still tracking
and closing distance.
844
01:02:39,287 --> 01:02:43,357
Range: 40 miles.
Continue evasive action.
845
01:02:46,227 --> 01:02:50,497
Electronic guidance
scrambler to blue grid.
846
01:02:50,565 --> 01:02:54,034
Missile still tracking
steady and closing distance.
847
01:02:54,102 --> 01:02:56,103
Range: 30 miles.
848
01:02:57,405 --> 01:03:00,541
Missile still closing true and steady.
849
01:03:00,608 --> 01:03:02,609
Continue evasive action.
850
01:03:10,085 --> 01:03:12,086
Range: 20 miles.
851
01:03:12,153 --> 01:03:16,056
Missile still closing
distance and tracking steady.
852
01:03:16,124 --> 01:03:18,559
Attack range gate on maximum scan.
853
01:03:18,626 --> 01:03:21,027
Range gate on maximum scan.
854
01:03:21,096 --> 01:03:23,997
Range: 10 miles.
855
01:03:24,065 --> 01:03:28,034
Missile track deflecting.
Continue evasive action.
856
01:03:28,103 --> 01:03:31,371
Deflection increasing.
Range: Eight miles.
857
01:03:31,439 --> 01:03:35,375
Deflection still
increasing. Range: Six miles.
858
01:03:35,443 --> 01:03:38,178
Missile still deflecting.
Range: Four miles.
859
01:03:43,951 --> 01:03:47,154
Range: Two miles.
Missile still deflecting.
860
01:03:47,222 --> 01:03:49,490
Range: One mile. Missile detonated!
861
01:03:49,557 --> 01:03:51,891
[indistinct shouting]
862
01:03:56,164 --> 01:03:58,265
- Start lever to cut off!
- Cut off!
863
01:03:58,333 --> 01:04:01,568
[electronic shorting-out sounds]
864
01:04:01,636 --> 01:04:04,605
We're losin' power! [indistinct]
865
01:04:11,546 --> 01:04:13,880
Re-select essential power!
866
01:04:13,948 --> 01:04:16,016
Essential power re-selected.
867
01:04:22,557 --> 01:04:24,525
The hatch is stuck!
868
01:04:24,592 --> 01:04:28,028
[electronic shorting-out sounds]
869
01:04:28,095 --> 01:04:30,930
Hit emergency power! Okay.
870
01:04:32,033 --> 01:04:34,901
Extinguishers! Roger!
871
01:04:41,609 --> 01:04:44,878
Transfer switches! Transferred!
872
01:04:44,945 --> 01:04:47,247
Boost pumps off! Cut off!
873
01:04:58,959 --> 01:05:00,994
Fuel valves three, four and six!
874
01:05:13,441 --> 01:05:16,142
Give me full power! Roger.
875
01:05:27,955 --> 01:05:30,390
[Mandrake] peace on earth.
876
01:05:30,458 --> 01:05:32,626
Peace on earth.
877
01:05:32,694 --> 01:05:34,928
Peace on earth.
878
01:05:34,995 --> 01:05:37,698
P.O.E.
879
01:05:37,765 --> 01:05:40,634
Purity of essence.
880
01:05:40,702 --> 01:05:44,237
O.P.O.E.
881
01:05:44,305 --> 01:05:46,540
- O.P.E.--
- [gunshots]
882
01:05:55,416 --> 01:05:57,751
Put your hands over your head.
883
01:05:57,819 --> 01:06:00,454
What the devil do you think
you're doing? Who are you?
884
01:06:00,521 --> 01:06:03,423
I said, put your hands over your head.
885
01:06:03,491 --> 01:06:06,059
What kind of suit do
you call that, fella?
886
01:06:06,126 --> 01:06:08,094
What do you mean, suit?
887
01:06:08,162 --> 01:06:12,699
This happens to be an r.A.F. Uniform, sir,
and I am group captain lionel Mandrake.
888
01:06:12,767 --> 01:06:15,034
I am general Ripper's executive officer.
889
01:06:15,102 --> 01:06:19,506
- Where's general Ripper?
- He's dead, in the bathroom.
890
01:06:19,574 --> 01:06:21,742
Where's the bathroom?
891
01:06:21,809 --> 01:06:23,744
Next to you.
892
01:06:23,811 --> 01:06:26,813
[vehicle engine revving]
893
01:06:30,818 --> 01:06:34,421
[whistles] I don't know what sort of
stupid game this is you're playing,
894
01:06:34,489 --> 01:06:37,290
But I've got a very good
idea what the recall code is,
895
01:06:37,358 --> 01:06:40,293
And I have to get in touch with
sac headquarters immediately!
896
01:06:40,361 --> 01:06:44,063
I said, put your hands over
your head and keep 'em there!
897
01:06:44,131 --> 01:06:47,801
Got any witnesses? What are you
talking about? He shot himself!
898
01:06:47,869 --> 01:06:49,936
While he was shavin', huh?
899
01:06:50,004 --> 01:06:53,172
Now look, colonel bat Guano,
900
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:55,675
If that really is your name,
901
01:06:55,743 --> 01:06:59,646
May I tell you that I have
a very, very good idea--
902
01:06:59,714 --> 01:07:04,017
I think, I hope, I pray-- what the recall
code is, some theme he kept repeating.
903
01:07:04,084 --> 01:07:07,020
It's a variation on "peace on
earth" or "purity of essence"!
904
01:07:07,087 --> 01:07:09,689
E.O.P., o.P.E., it's one of those!
905
01:07:09,757 --> 01:07:12,793
Put your hands up on top
of your head. Start walkin'.
906
01:07:12,860 --> 01:07:15,562
Don't you know that general Ripper
went as mad as a March hare...
907
01:07:15,630 --> 01:07:17,631
And sent the whole wing
to attack the soviets?
908
01:07:17,698 --> 01:07:20,834
Don't you know that? What
are you talkin' about?
909
01:07:20,902 --> 01:07:23,102
I'll tell you what
I'm talking about.
910
01:07:23,170 --> 01:07:27,240
I'm going to pick up this red
telephone, which is connected to sac,
911
01:07:27,308 --> 01:07:30,243
And I
hope--
912
01:07:30,311 --> 01:07:32,512
Blast. Blast.
913
01:07:32,580 --> 01:07:36,616
Shot away, I expect by one of your
men during this ridiculous fighting!
914
01:07:37,852 --> 01:07:40,053
Right.
915
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:43,490
All right, charlie, I've been
wastin' too much time on you.
916
01:07:43,558 --> 01:07:47,694
I got a lot of wounded
men outside. Start walkin'.
917
01:07:56,637 --> 01:07:59,706
[switches clicking]
918
01:08:09,684 --> 01:08:13,553
All the radio gear is out,
including the c.R.M. 114.
919
01:08:13,621 --> 01:08:16,790
I think the auto-destruct mechanism
got hit and blew itself up.
920
01:08:21,261 --> 01:08:24,498
The fire is out. The
emergency power is on.
921
01:08:24,565 --> 01:08:28,067
Everything seems to check
out all right. Will advise.
922
01:08:28,135 --> 01:08:29,870
Roger. Navigator?
923
01:08:29,937 --> 01:08:34,073
I've worked out our rate of fuel loss
at approximately 1-6-2 per minute.
924
01:08:34,141 --> 01:08:36,943
This gives us a radius of action...
925
01:08:37,011 --> 01:08:41,715
Sufficient to take out primary and
secondary targets, but we will not--
926
01:08:41,782 --> 01:08:45,952
Repeat, not be able to make it
back to any base or neutral country.
927
01:08:46,020 --> 01:08:49,455
However, we would have
enough fuel to ditch...
928
01:08:49,524 --> 01:08:52,225
At weather ship tango delta,
929
01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:55,629
Grid coordinates
0-0-3-6-9-1.
930
01:09:00,367 --> 01:09:02,802
Well, boys, we got three
engines out.
931
01:09:02,870 --> 01:09:06,272
We got more holes in us
than a horse trader's mule.
932
01:09:06,340 --> 01:09:08,775
The radio is gone,
and we're leakin' fuel.
933
01:09:08,843 --> 01:09:12,278
And if we was flyin' any lower, why,
we'd need sleigh bells on this thing.
934
01:09:12,346 --> 01:09:15,314
But we got one little
budge on them ruskies.
935
01:09:15,382 --> 01:09:17,350
At this height they
might harpoon us,
936
01:09:17,418 --> 01:09:20,554
But they dang sure ain't gonna
spot us on no radar screen!
937
01:09:31,699 --> 01:09:34,601
The other way.
Where are you taking me?
938
01:09:34,669 --> 01:09:38,104
To the main gate. Colonel!
939
01:09:38,172 --> 01:09:41,608
Colonel, I must know what you
think has been going on here.
940
01:09:41,676 --> 01:09:43,877
You wanna know what I think? Yes.
941
01:09:43,945 --> 01:09:46,412
I think you're some kind
of deviated "prevert."
942
01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:49,215
I think general Ripper found
out about your preversion...
943
01:09:49,283 --> 01:09:51,952
And that you were organizing
some kind of mutiny of preverts.
944
01:09:52,019 --> 01:09:54,153
Now, move! [jet engines roaring]
945
01:09:54,221 --> 01:09:57,457
On top of that, I don't know anything
about any planes attacking russia.
946
01:09:57,524 --> 01:10:01,294
All I was told to do was get Ripper on the
phone with the president of the United States.
947
01:10:01,361 --> 01:10:06,165
Now just one second. You
just said, "the president."
948
01:10:06,233 --> 01:10:08,434
What about the president?
949
01:10:08,502 --> 01:10:11,705
The president wants to speak
to general Ripper, doesn't he?
950
01:10:11,772 --> 01:10:14,340
Now, general Ripper is dead, is he not?
951
01:10:14,408 --> 01:10:16,676
I am general Ripper's executive officer,
952
01:10:16,744 --> 01:10:19,713
So the president will bloody well
want to speak to me, won't he?
953
01:10:19,780 --> 01:10:23,483
There's a telephone box over
there and the line may be open.
954
01:10:23,550 --> 01:10:26,419
You wanna talk to the
president of the United States?
955
01:10:26,487 --> 01:10:29,322
I don't want to talk to him,
colonel, I've got to talk to him.
956
01:10:29,389 --> 01:10:33,026
And I can assure you, if you don't put
that gun away and stop this stupid nonsense,
957
01:10:33,094 --> 01:10:37,130
The court of inquiry on this
will give you such a pranging,
958
01:10:37,197 --> 01:10:41,334
You'll be lucky if you end up wearing
the uniform of a bloody toilet attendant!
959
01:10:41,401 --> 01:10:44,070
[jet engines roaring]
960
01:10:44,138 --> 01:10:46,072
Okay.
961
01:10:46,140 --> 01:10:49,809
Go ahead, try and get the president
of the United States on the phone.
962
01:10:51,545 --> 01:10:54,514
If you try any preversions in
there, I'll blow your head off.
963
01:11:09,130 --> 01:11:11,965
Operator? This is group
captain lionel Mandrake.
964
01:11:12,033 --> 01:11:14,067
I'm speaking from
burpelson air force base.
965
01:11:14,135 --> 01:11:18,071
Something urgent has come up and I want you
to place an emergency person-to-person call...
966
01:11:18,139 --> 01:11:21,274
With president Merkin Muffley
in the pentagon, washington, d.C.
967
01:11:22,609 --> 01:11:25,845
Uh, burpelson
3-9-1-8-0.
968
01:11:27,014 --> 01:11:29,649
No, I'm perfectly serious.
The president, yes.
969
01:11:29,717 --> 01:11:32,052
The president of the United States.
970
01:11:32,119 --> 01:11:35,055
Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't
got enough change.
971
01:11:35,122 --> 01:11:38,558
Could you, uh-- could you make
this a collect call, operator?
972
01:11:43,397 --> 01:11:47,133
[jet engines roaring]
973
01:11:50,504 --> 01:11:54,107
Just one second, operator.
They won't accept the call.
974
01:11:54,175 --> 01:11:56,109
Have you got 55 cents?
975
01:11:56,177 --> 01:11:59,212
You don't think I'd go into combat
with loose change in my pocket, do you?
976
01:12:01,582 --> 01:12:03,549
Operator, look.
977
01:12:03,617 --> 01:12:08,054
Is it possible to make this an
ordinary-- ordinary trunk call?
978
01:12:08,122 --> 01:12:10,890
Well, what do you call
it? You know, um--
979
01:12:10,958 --> 01:12:13,993
Oh, uh,
station-to-station.
980
01:12:18,065 --> 01:12:21,601
Oh, blast! I'm still 20 cents short.
981
01:12:23,437 --> 01:12:26,873
Operator, hold on. I
shan't keep you a second.
982
01:12:26,941 --> 01:12:31,111
Colonel, that Coca-Cola machine. I
want you to shoot the lock off it.
983
01:12:31,178 --> 01:12:33,279
There may be some change in there.
984
01:12:36,117 --> 01:12:38,284
That's private property.
985
01:12:38,352 --> 01:12:41,254
Colonel, can you possibly imagine
what is going to happen to you,
986
01:12:41,321 --> 01:12:44,023
Your frame outlook, way
of life and everything,
987
01:12:44,091 --> 01:12:48,628
When they learn that you have obstructed a phone
call to the president of the United States?
988
01:12:48,695 --> 01:12:52,698
Can you imagine? Shoot it off!
989
01:12:52,767 --> 01:12:56,402
Shoot with the gun! That's what
the bullets are for, you twit!
990
01:12:56,470 --> 01:12:59,338
Okay, I'm gonna get your money for you.
991
01:12:59,406 --> 01:13:02,675
But if you don't get the president on
that phone, you know what's gonna happen?
992
01:13:02,743 --> 01:13:04,144
What?
993
01:13:04,211 --> 01:13:07,847
You're gonna have to answer
to the Coca-Cola company.
994
01:13:09,583 --> 01:13:12,318
[gunshots]
995
01:13:16,924 --> 01:13:20,059
[from P.A. System] this is
sac communications control.
996
01:13:20,127 --> 01:13:23,529
The recall code o.P.E....
997
01:13:23,597 --> 01:13:25,832
Is being acknowledged "roger"...
998
01:13:25,900 --> 01:13:30,469
By elements of the
8-4-3 bomb wing.
999
01:13:30,537 --> 01:13:32,571
These are the details.
1000
01:13:32,639 --> 01:13:37,177
Missions 12, 22, 30 and 38...
1001
01:13:37,244 --> 01:13:40,847
Are reported destroyed by enemy action.
1002
01:13:40,915 --> 01:13:44,417
All other missions have
acknowledged recall code.
1003
01:13:44,484 --> 01:13:47,520
This is sac communications
control. Over and out.
1004
01:13:47,587 --> 01:13:51,090
[whistling] gentlemen, gentlemen!
1005
01:13:51,158 --> 01:13:53,659
Ah, gentlemen,
1006
01:13:53,727 --> 01:13:55,695
Mr. President,
1007
01:13:55,762 --> 01:13:58,331
I'm not a sentimentalist
at all by nature,
1008
01:13:58,398 --> 01:14:01,267
But I think I know what's
in every heart in this room.
1009
01:14:01,335 --> 01:14:04,537
I think we ought to all
just bow our heads...
1010
01:14:04,604 --> 01:14:07,207
And give a short prayer of
thanks for our deliverance.
1011
01:14:07,274 --> 01:14:09,909
Lord,
1012
01:14:09,977 --> 01:14:14,513
Uh, we have heard the wings
of the angel of death...
1013
01:14:14,581 --> 01:14:17,383
Fluttering over our heads
from the valley of fear.
1014
01:14:17,451 --> 01:14:20,253
You have seen fit to deliver
us from the forces of evil--
1015
01:14:20,321 --> 01:14:22,255
Excuse me, sir.
1016
01:14:22,323 --> 01:14:25,158
Premier kissoff's calling
again and he's hopping mad.
1017
01:14:31,866 --> 01:14:35,801
Fuel flow on active engines
and leakage has increased.
1018
01:14:35,870 --> 01:14:39,939
Now works
out at 2-0-5.
1019
01:14:40,975 --> 01:14:42,976
Estimate remaining fuel...
1020
01:14:43,043 --> 01:14:46,980
At
8-7-9-0.
1021
01:14:50,284 --> 01:14:54,120
Uh, roger. Confirm
2-0-5 per minute...
1022
01:14:54,188 --> 01:14:58,324
And remaining
fuel 8-7-9-0.
1023
01:15:04,798 --> 01:15:08,868
No, no, Dimitri, there
must be some mistake.
1024
01:15:08,936 --> 01:15:11,037
No, I'm certain of that.
1025
01:15:11,105 --> 01:15:15,308
I'm perfectly certain of that, Dimitri.
1026
01:15:15,376 --> 01:15:18,278
Just a second. You know what he says?
1027
01:15:18,345 --> 01:15:20,579
He says that one of the
planes hasn't turned back.
1028
01:15:20,647 --> 01:15:23,283
He says according to information
forwarded by our air staffs,
1029
01:15:23,350 --> 01:15:26,252
It's headed for the
missile complex at laputa.
1030
01:15:26,320 --> 01:15:29,188
[mumbling]
1031
01:15:29,256 --> 01:15:32,225
[laughing] that's
impossible, Mr. President.
1032
01:15:32,293 --> 01:15:34,360
I mean, look at the big board.
1033
01:15:34,428 --> 01:15:37,563
Thirty-four planes, 30 recalls
acknowledged and four splashes,
1034
01:15:37,631 --> 01:15:40,533
And one of them was targeted for laputa.
1035
01:15:43,437 --> 01:15:46,639
Dimitri, look, we've got an
acknowledgement from every plane...
1036
01:15:46,706 --> 01:15:49,943
Except the four you've shot down.
1037
01:15:50,010 --> 01:15:53,079
Oh. Oh.
1038
01:15:54,815 --> 01:15:57,250
[clears
throat] he's--
1039
01:15:57,318 --> 01:15:59,652
Hang on a second, Dimitri.
1040
01:15:59,719 --> 01:16:03,089
He says their air defense now only
claims three aircraft confirmed.
1041
01:16:03,157 --> 01:16:05,691
The fourth may only be damaged.
1042
01:16:07,794 --> 01:16:09,728
Mr. President,
1043
01:16:09,796 --> 01:16:12,165
I'm beginnin' to smell
a big, fat commie rat.
1044
01:16:12,232 --> 01:16:15,868
I mean, supposin' kissoff is
lyin' about that fourth plane,
1045
01:16:15,936 --> 01:16:18,338
Just lookin' for an
excuse to clobber us?
1046
01:16:18,405 --> 01:16:20,906
If the spaghetti hits the fan,
now we're really in trouble.
1047
01:16:24,979 --> 01:16:27,413
Dimitri, look, if this report is true...
1048
01:16:27,481 --> 01:16:31,284
And the plane manages
to bomb the target,
1049
01:16:31,352 --> 01:16:35,621
Is this-- is this gonna-- is this
gonna set off the doomsday machine?
1050
01:16:38,792 --> 01:16:41,927
Are you sure?
1051
01:16:41,996 --> 01:16:46,532
Well, I-- I guess you're just gonna
have to get that plane, Dimitri.
1052
01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:49,702
Dimitri, I'm sorry they're jamming
your radar and flying so low,
1053
01:16:49,769 --> 01:16:52,171
But they're trained to do it, you know?
1054
01:16:52,239 --> 01:16:55,341
It's initiative.
1055
01:16:55,409 --> 01:16:58,277
Look, Dimitri, you know
exactly where they're going,
1056
01:16:58,345 --> 01:17:01,514
And I'm sure your entire air
defense can stop a single plane.
1057
01:17:04,684 --> 01:17:08,087
It's not gonna help either one of
us if the doomsday machine goes off,
1058
01:17:08,155 --> 01:17:10,789
Now, is it?
1059
01:17:10,857 --> 01:17:16,062
Dimitri, there's no point in you getting
hysterical at a moment like this!
1060
01:17:16,130 --> 01:17:20,400
Dimitri, keep your feet on the
ground when you're talking to me.
1061
01:17:20,467 --> 01:17:22,735
I am not-- I
am not getting--
1062
01:17:22,802 --> 01:17:25,238
No, Dimitri, I'm just worried.
1063
01:17:25,305 --> 01:17:27,240
That's all.
1064
01:17:27,307 --> 01:17:30,343
Now look, if our air staffs say
its primary target is laputa...
1065
01:17:30,411 --> 01:17:32,412
And its secondary target is borchov,
1066
01:17:32,479 --> 01:17:35,881
I mean, it's true, Dimitri,
you gotta believe it!
1067
01:17:35,949 --> 01:17:39,685
Look, can I give-- Dimitri,
can I give you just one word--
1068
01:17:39,753 --> 01:17:43,056
Can I give you just one
word of advice, Dimitri?
1069
01:17:43,123 --> 01:17:45,091
Listen, Dimitri.
1070
01:17:45,159 --> 01:17:48,494
Put everything you've got into those
two sectors, and you can't miss!
1071
01:17:54,818 --> 01:17:58,521
Sir, if we continue to lose
fuel at the present rate,
1072
01:17:58,588 --> 01:18:02,725
I estimate we only have,
uh, 38 minutes flying time,
1073
01:18:02,793 --> 01:18:05,261
Which will not even take
us as far as the primary.
1074
01:18:05,328 --> 01:18:09,265
Doggone it, sweets, you told me that
you could get me to the primary!
1075
01:18:09,332 --> 01:18:11,768
I'm sorry, sir, that
estimate was based on...
1076
01:18:11,835 --> 01:18:15,038
The original loss rate
factor, not at 2-0-5.
1077
01:18:15,105 --> 01:18:17,373
I don't give a hoot
in hell how you do it,
1078
01:18:17,440 --> 01:18:19,608
You just get me to
the primary, you hear?
1079
01:18:19,677 --> 01:18:23,112
I'm sorry, sir, but
those are the figures.
1080
01:18:23,180 --> 01:18:26,448
We'll be lucky to reach
weather ship at tango delta.
1081
01:18:26,516 --> 01:18:28,718
Well, shoot!
1082
01:18:28,786 --> 01:18:32,588
We ain't come this far just to
dump this thing in the drink.
1083
01:18:32,656 --> 01:18:35,224
What's the nearest
target of opportunity?
1084
01:18:43,934 --> 01:18:46,703
Sir, if the rate of
loss does not increase,
1085
01:18:46,770 --> 01:18:50,539
We have a chance to
reach target 3-8-4,
1086
01:18:50,607 --> 01:18:55,444
Grid coordinate
0-0-3-6-9-1...
1087
01:18:55,512 --> 01:18:59,381
And possibly make it from there
to the tango delta weather ship.
1088
01:18:59,449 --> 01:19:01,584
What kind of a target is that, anyhow?
1089
01:19:01,651 --> 01:19:05,588
Sir, that's the I.C.B.M.
Complex at kotloss.
1090
01:19:05,655 --> 01:19:09,358
All right, designating new target:
1091
01:19:09,426 --> 01:19:11,393
3-8-4.
1092
01:19:11,461 --> 01:19:14,496
Give me a rough headin' on that just
as soon as you can get it worked out.
1093
01:19:26,026 --> 01:19:29,946
We'll keep our fingers crossed, Dimitri,
and remember, there's just one thing:
1094
01:19:30,013 --> 01:19:32,949
We are all in this together.
We're right behind you, Dimitri.
1095
01:19:33,016 --> 01:19:35,384
We're with you all the way.
1096
01:19:35,452 --> 01:19:39,155
Yes, well, we'll keep the line open.
1097
01:19:39,223 --> 01:19:41,557
All right, Dimitri.
1098
01:19:42,559 --> 01:19:44,526
General Turgidson,
1099
01:19:44,594 --> 01:19:47,864
Is there really a chance for
that plane to get through?
1100
01:19:49,499 --> 01:19:51,968
Mr. President, if I may speak freely,
1101
01:19:52,035 --> 01:19:54,971
The ruskie talks big, but frankly
we think he's short of know-how.
1102
01:19:55,038 --> 01:19:57,740
I mean, you just can't expect
a bunch of ignorant peons...
1103
01:19:57,808 --> 01:20:00,243
To understand a machine
like some of our boys.
1104
01:20:00,310 --> 01:20:02,779
And that's not meant as
an insult, Mr. Ambassador.
1105
01:20:02,846 --> 01:20:05,347
You take your average ruskie, we
all know how much guts he's got.
1106
01:20:05,415 --> 01:20:08,617
Hell, look at all of 'em them nazis
killed off, and they still wouldn't quit!
1107
01:20:08,685 --> 01:20:10,552
Can't you stick to the point, general?
1108
01:20:10,620 --> 01:20:14,390
Well, uh, sir, uh, if
the pilot's good, see--
1109
01:20:14,457 --> 01:20:18,094
I mean, if he's really sharp, he
can barrel that baby in so low.
1110
01:20:18,162 --> 01:20:20,596
You oughta see it
sometime! It's a sight!
1111
01:20:20,664 --> 01:20:23,166
A big plane, like a 52, vroom!
1112
01:20:23,233 --> 01:20:26,302
Its jet exhaust fryin'
chickens in the barnyard!
1113
01:20:26,369 --> 01:20:29,538
-Yeah, but has he got a chance?
-Has he got a chance?
1114
01:20:29,606 --> 01:20:32,708
Hell, yeah--
ye-- ye--
1115
01:20:33,844 --> 01:20:35,812
Yeah.
1116
01:20:56,516 --> 01:20:58,483
Navigator to captain.
1117
01:20:58,551 --> 01:21:02,554
Approaching target
at distance 1-0 miles.
1118
01:21:02,622 --> 01:21:05,958
Switch from green grid to target orange.
1119
01:21:06,026 --> 01:21:07,827
Ready for final bomb run check.
1120
01:21:07,894 --> 01:21:10,629
Take over, ace. Roger.
1121
01:21:15,902 --> 01:21:18,403
- D.S.O. Ready.
- Bombardier ready, sir.
1122
01:21:18,471 --> 01:21:20,672
Bomb fusing, master safety on.
1123
01:21:20,740 --> 01:21:23,843
Electronic barometric time and impact.
1124
01:21:23,910 --> 01:21:26,545
Uh, bomb fusing, master safeties on.
1125
01:21:26,612 --> 01:21:29,348
Electronic barometric time and impact.
1126
01:21:29,415 --> 01:21:33,018
[Kong] fuse for ground burst.
Delay factor yellow three.
1127
01:21:33,086 --> 01:21:35,754
Fuse for ground burst.
Delay factor yellow three.
1128
01:21:35,822 --> 01:21:38,590
Bomb fusing circuits
one through four, test.
1129
01:21:38,658 --> 01:21:42,261
Bomb fusing circuits one
through four, test. Lights on.
1130
01:21:42,329 --> 01:21:45,264
Bomb arming test lights
on, one through four.
1131
01:21:45,332 --> 01:21:48,167
Bomb arming test lights
on, one through four.
1132
01:21:48,235 --> 01:21:50,970
[Kong] engage primary
trigger switch override.
1133
01:21:51,037 --> 01:21:54,139
Primary trigger switch override engaged.
1134
01:21:54,207 --> 01:21:56,775
Track indicators to maximum deflection.
1135
01:21:56,843 --> 01:21:59,311
Track indicators to maximum deflection.
1136
01:21:59,379 --> 01:22:02,581
Detonator set to zero altitude.
1137
01:22:02,648 --> 01:22:05,417
Detonator set to zero altitude.
1138
01:22:05,485 --> 01:22:07,186
Release first safety.
1139
01:22:11,424 --> 01:22:13,425
First safety released.
1140
01:22:14,761 --> 01:22:18,197
- First safety.
- Release second safety.
1141
01:22:20,967 --> 01:22:22,834
Second safety released.
1142
01:22:22,903 --> 01:22:25,804
Second safety.
1143
01:22:33,313 --> 01:22:36,015
Check bomb door circuits,
one through four.
1144
01:22:46,559 --> 01:22:50,029
Uh, bomb door circuits,
1145
01:22:50,096 --> 01:22:52,697
Negative function, lights red.
1146
01:22:52,765 --> 01:22:55,367
Switch in backup circuits. Roger.
1147
01:22:55,435 --> 01:22:59,438
Backup circuits switched
in. Still negative function.
1148
01:22:59,505 --> 01:23:03,309
- Engage emergency power.
- Roger.
1149
01:23:03,376 --> 01:23:06,111
Uh, emergency power on.
Still negative function.
1150
01:23:08,148 --> 01:23:10,215
Operate manual override!
1151
01:23:11,717 --> 01:23:13,352
Roger.
1152
01:23:22,862 --> 01:23:25,364
Uh, still negative function.
1153
01:23:25,432 --> 01:23:28,133
The teleflex drive cable
must be sheared away.
1154
01:23:28,201 --> 01:23:32,438
- Fire the explosive bolts!
- Roger.
1155
01:23:44,917 --> 01:23:46,852
Uh--
1156
01:23:46,919 --> 01:23:50,655
Still negative, sir. The
operating circuits are dead, sir.
1157
01:23:55,996 --> 01:23:59,931
Stay on the bomb run, ace. I'm goin'
down below and see what I can do.
1158
01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:02,001
Roger.
1159
01:24:12,078 --> 01:24:14,346
Stay on the bomb run, boys.
1160
01:24:14,414 --> 01:24:18,650
I'm gonna get them doors open if it
harelips everybody on bear creek!
1161
01:24:50,150 --> 01:24:53,718
[electronic shorting-out sounds]
1162
01:25:12,205 --> 01:25:15,074
Target orange grid reference checks.
1163
01:25:15,141 --> 01:25:17,443
Target distance: Eight miles.
1164
01:25:17,510 --> 01:25:19,644
Roger. Eight miles.
1165
01:25:19,712 --> 01:25:22,047
Telemetric guidance
computer into orange grid.
1166
01:25:22,115 --> 01:25:24,550
Telemetric guidance
computer into orange grid.
1167
01:25:33,159 --> 01:25:35,727
Target distance: Seven miles.
1168
01:25:35,795 --> 01:25:39,198
Correct track indicator: Minus seven.
1169
01:25:39,265 --> 01:25:42,834
[ace] roger. Seven miles.
Check g.P.I. Acceleration factor.
1170
01:25:42,902 --> 01:25:44,936
G.P.I. Acceleration factor set.
1171
01:25:48,308 --> 01:25:50,809
Target distance: Six miles.
1172
01:25:50,876 --> 01:25:54,480
Roger. Six miles. Pulse
"ident" transponder active.
1173
01:25:54,547 --> 01:25:57,182
Pulse ident transponder active.
1174
01:26:04,224 --> 01:26:07,292
Target distance: Five miles.
1175
01:26:07,360 --> 01:26:11,330
[ace] five miles. Homing
alignment factor to zero mode.
1176
01:26:11,397 --> 01:26:13,432
Homing alignment factor to zero mode.
1177
01:26:17,003 --> 01:26:19,538
Target distance: Four miles.
1178
01:26:19,606 --> 01:26:21,540
Roger. Four miles.
1179
01:26:21,608 --> 01:26:24,276
Auto c.D.C. Into manual teleflex link.
1180
01:26:24,344 --> 01:26:26,978
Auto c.D.C. Into manual teleflex link.
1181
01:26:37,157 --> 01:26:39,691
Target distance: Three miles.
1182
01:26:39,759 --> 01:26:42,327
Roger. Three miles.
1183
01:26:42,395 --> 01:26:46,064
Target in sight! Where
in hell is major Kong?
1184
01:26:54,707 --> 01:26:57,459
[whooshing sound]
1185
01:26:57,527 --> 01:27:00,179
Ya-hoo!
1186
01:27:02,682 --> 01:27:05,250
Ya-hoo!
1187
01:27:05,318 --> 01:27:07,719
Ya-hoo!
1188
01:27:09,755 --> 01:27:14,526
- Hey, what about
major Kong? - Ya-hoo!
1189
01:27:14,594 --> 01:27:19,431
Ye-haw!
1190
01:27:19,499 --> 01:27:23,335
Whoo-hoo!
1191
01:27:39,219 --> 01:27:42,954
Mr. President, I would
not rule out the chance...
1192
01:27:43,022 --> 01:27:46,091
To preserve a nucleus
of human specimens.
1193
01:27:46,158 --> 01:27:49,027
It would be quite easy.
1194
01:27:49,095 --> 01:27:51,396
[laughing]
1195
01:27:51,464 --> 01:27:53,665
At the bottom of, uh,
1196
01:27:53,733 --> 01:27:56,568
Some of our deeper mine shafts.
1197
01:27:56,636 --> 01:28:01,473
The radioactivity would never penetrate
a mine some thousands of feet deep.
1198
01:28:01,541 --> 01:28:05,777
And in a matter of weeks, sufficient
improvements in dwelling space...
1199
01:28:05,845 --> 01:28:07,812
Could easily be provided.
1200
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:10,616
How long would you have
to stay down there?
1201
01:28:10,683 --> 01:28:14,586
Well, that's, you
know, uh-- [inhaling]
1202
01:28:14,654 --> 01:28:17,289
Cobalt thorium g.
1203
01:28:17,357 --> 01:28:19,358
Uh--
1204
01:28:23,763 --> 01:28:25,764
Uh--
1205
01:28:27,567 --> 01:28:31,370
Radioactive
half-life of, uh--
1206
01:28:31,437 --> 01:28:33,405
Hmm.
1207
01:28:33,473 --> 01:28:36,941
I would think that, uh, possibly, uh,
1208
01:28:37,009 --> 01:28:39,444
One hundred years.
1209
01:28:39,512 --> 01:28:41,446
You mean,
1210
01:28:41,514 --> 01:28:44,516
People could actually stay
down there for 100 years?
1211
01:28:44,584 --> 01:28:46,818
It would not be difficult, mein fuhrer.
1212
01:28:46,886 --> 01:28:49,154
Nuclear reactors
could-- [laughing]
1213
01:28:49,221 --> 01:28:51,556
I'm sorry, Mr. President.
1214
01:28:51,624 --> 01:28:55,460
Nuclear reactors could provide
power almost indefinitely.
1215
01:28:55,528 --> 01:28:58,363
Greenhouses could maintain plant life.
1216
01:28:58,431 --> 01:29:02,000
Animals could be bred and slaughtered.
1217
01:29:02,067 --> 01:29:04,002
A quick survey would have to be made...
1218
01:29:04,069 --> 01:29:06,538
Of all the available
mine sites in the country.
1219
01:29:06,606 --> 01:29:10,409
But I would guess that
a dwelling space...
1220
01:29:10,476 --> 01:29:14,112
For several hundred thousand of
our people could easily be provided.
1221
01:29:14,180 --> 01:29:17,316
Well, I-- I would hate
to have to decide...
1222
01:29:17,383 --> 01:29:20,319
Who stays up and who goes down.
1223
01:29:20,386 --> 01:29:24,289
Well, that would not be
necessary, Mr. President.
1224
01:29:24,357 --> 01:29:27,192
It could easily be
accomplished with a computer.
1225
01:29:27,259 --> 01:29:29,594
And the computer could
be set and programmed...
1226
01:29:29,662 --> 01:29:32,731
To accept factors from youth, health,
1227
01:29:32,799 --> 01:29:35,967
Sexual fertility, intelligence...
1228
01:29:36,035 --> 01:29:38,537
And a cross-section
of necessary skills.
1229
01:29:38,604 --> 01:29:40,872
Of course, it would
be absolutely vital...
1230
01:29:40,940 --> 01:29:44,876
That our top government and
military men be included,
1231
01:29:44,944 --> 01:29:47,479
To foster and impart the
required principles...
1232
01:29:47,547 --> 01:29:49,781
Of leadership and tradition.
1233
01:29:49,849 --> 01:29:51,850
Aaah!
1234
01:29:55,855 --> 01:29:58,790
Naturally, they would
breed prodigiously, eh?
1235
01:29:58,858 --> 01:30:01,626
There would be much
time and little to do.
1236
01:30:01,694 --> 01:30:03,662
[giggling]
1237
01:30:03,730 --> 01:30:08,199
But with the proper breeding
techniques and a ratio of, say,
1238
01:30:08,267 --> 01:30:11,035
Ten females to each male,
1239
01:30:11,103 --> 01:30:13,505
I would guess that they could
then work their way back...
1240
01:30:13,573 --> 01:30:17,576
To the present gross national
product within, say, 20 years.
1241
01:30:17,643 --> 01:30:19,578
But look here, doctor.
1242
01:30:19,645 --> 01:30:23,382
Wouldn't this nucleus
of survivors be so...
1243
01:30:23,449 --> 01:30:26,685
Grief-stricken and
anguished that they--
1244
01:30:26,753 --> 01:30:30,221
Well, envy the dead and
not want to go on living?
1245
01:30:30,289 --> 01:30:33,191
No, sir. Excuse me.
1246
01:30:42,468 --> 01:30:46,371
When they go down into the mine,
everyone would still be alive.
1247
01:30:46,439 --> 01:30:48,507
There would be no shocking memories...
1248
01:30:48,574 --> 01:30:53,278
And the prevailing emotion will be
one of nostalgia for those left behind,
1249
01:30:53,345 --> 01:30:56,214
Combined with a spirt of...
1250
01:30:56,282 --> 01:30:58,683
Bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!
1251
01:30:58,751 --> 01:31:00,752
Aaah!
1252
01:31:06,759 --> 01:31:08,827
Aaah!
1253
01:31:16,235 --> 01:31:18,202
Doctor,
1254
01:31:20,372 --> 01:31:23,742
You mentioned the, uh, ratio of, uh,
1255
01:31:23,810 --> 01:31:25,977
Ten women to each man.
1256
01:31:26,045 --> 01:31:28,980
Now, wouldn't that
necessitate the abandonment...
1257
01:31:29,048 --> 01:31:32,717
Of the so-called monogamous
sexual relationship?
1258
01:31:32,785 --> 01:31:36,588
I mean, as far as men were concerned?
1259
01:31:36,656 --> 01:31:38,590
Regrettably, yes.
1260
01:31:38,658 --> 01:31:43,462
But it is, you know, a sacrifice
required for the future of the human race.
1261
01:31:43,529 --> 01:31:48,567
I hasten to add that since each man
will be required to do prodigious...
1262
01:31:50,269 --> 01:31:52,236
Service along these lines,
1263
01:31:52,304 --> 01:31:56,074
The women will have to be selected
for their sexual characteristics,
1264
01:31:56,141 --> 01:31:59,945
Which will have to be of a
highly stimulating nature.
1265
01:32:00,012 --> 01:32:03,849
I must confess, you have an
astonishingly good idea there, doctor.
1266
01:32:03,916 --> 01:32:06,485
Thank you, sir.
1267
01:32:06,552 --> 01:32:09,488
I think we ought to look at this
from the military point of view.
1268
01:32:09,555 --> 01:32:13,458
I mean, uh, supposing the ruskies...
1269
01:32:13,526 --> 01:32:16,461
Stashed away some big
bombs, see, and we didn't?
1270
01:32:16,529 --> 01:32:19,464
When they come out in 100
years, they could take over!
1271
01:32:19,532 --> 01:32:21,533
[faceman] I agree, Mr. President.
1272
01:32:21,601 --> 01:32:25,003
They might even try an immediate sneak attack
so they could take over our mine shaft space.
1273
01:32:25,070 --> 01:32:27,606
[Turgidson] it'd be extremely
naive of us, Mr. President,
1274
01:32:27,673 --> 01:32:29,674
To imagine that these
new developments...
1275
01:32:29,742 --> 01:32:32,644
Are gonna cause any change in
soviet expansionist policy!
1276
01:32:32,712 --> 01:32:35,580
I mean, we must be
increasingly on the alert...
1277
01:32:35,648 --> 01:32:38,149
To prevent them from taking
over other mine shaft space...
1278
01:32:38,217 --> 01:32:40,351
In order to breed more
prodigiously than we do,
1279
01:32:40,419 --> 01:32:43,388
Thus knocking us out through
superior numbers when we emerge!
1280
01:32:43,455 --> 01:32:47,559
Mr. President, we must not
allow a mine-shaft gap!
1281
01:32:47,627 --> 01:32:49,728
Sir!
1282
01:32:49,795 --> 01:32:52,096
I have a plan--
1283
01:32:53,566 --> 01:32:55,901
Mein fuhrer,
1284
01:32:55,968 --> 01:32:58,637
I can walk!
1285
01:33:03,976 --> 01:33:07,746
♪ We'll meet again
1286
01:33:07,813 --> 01:33:10,348
♪ Don't know where
1287
01:33:10,416 --> 01:33:14,019
♪ Don't know when
1288
01:33:14,086 --> 01:33:17,856
♪ But I know we'll meet again ♪
1289
01:33:17,924 --> 01:33:21,826
♪ Some sunny day
1290
01:33:24,664 --> 01:33:28,466
♪ Keep smiling through
1291
01:33:28,534 --> 01:33:33,838
♪ Just like you always do
1292
01:33:33,906 --> 01:33:36,407
♪ 'til the blue skies
1293
01:33:36,475 --> 01:33:42,013
♪ Drive the dark clouds far away ♪
1294
01:33:43,182 --> 01:33:47,218
♪ So will you please say hello ♪
1295
01:33:47,286 --> 01:33:49,821
♪ To the folks that I know
1296
01:33:49,889 --> 01:33:53,892
♪ Tell them I won't be long ♪
1297
01:33:54,961 --> 01:33:57,729
♪ They'll be happy to know
1298
01:33:57,797 --> 01:34:00,699
♪ That as you saw me go
1299
01:34:00,766 --> 01:34:05,136
♪ I was singing this song
1300
01:34:06,338 --> 01:34:10,075
♪ We'll meet again
1301
01:34:10,142 --> 01:34:12,677
♪ Don't know where
1302
01:34:12,745 --> 01:34:15,880
♪ Don't know when
1303
01:34:15,948 --> 01:34:20,585
♪ But I know we'll meet again
1304
01:34:20,653 --> 01:34:29,460
♪ Some sunny day