LONERS
When I was a kid I thought cats were female dogs.
And I thought turtle-doves were female pigeons.
And I thought weasels were female badgers.
You're insane.
And I thought men and women were two different species.
Executive Producers
Produced by
Story by
Costumes
Set Design
Sound
Edited by
Music
Director of Photography
Screenplay by
Directed by
- So you were in Bangkok? - Yup. -Tell me about it.
- What do you want to know? - I hear whores are in aquariums.
- Yup, and they're usually naked. - How much do they go for?
A blow job is 0500 Thai baths. That's the same in Czech crowns.
A fuck is 500 or 1000. Sometimes you can get both for a grand.
- What about kissing? - Kissing?
That's most expensive of all. It'll run you at least 2500.
- You didn't know that? - I guess I forgot.
Tell me about this girl.
The girl you're about to meet is absolutely one of a kind.
She's modest, intelligent, but mostly she's self-sacrificing.
- A pretty rare combination. - Is she seeing anyone now?
Every girl's seeing someone unless she's seeing you.
Or should I say, me.
You've had a girlfriend for three years. I don't get...
- why you want to meet this girl. - 'Cause our relationship's shaky.
This might be worth filming.
- It was a joke. -A stupid one. - Okay if I film you arguing?
- We're not going to argue. - Are you mental? -Hang on.
I thought you said your relationship was shaky.
- I did not. -Think that's funny? - You're really pushing it.
Wait a minute.
All I did was help you realize you've come to a dead-end.
Thanks.
My consciously acting like a swine has cleansed you.
I've pointed out how ridiculous your lives are.
- Next time we need something... - We'll definitely let you know.
You wanted to know if she was the right girl for you.
That means I'm not.
- Then let's do something. - Like what?
- All we can do is flip a coin. - What are you talking about?
You heard me. Heads we stay together, tails we break up.
Okay. I'll flip.
- You mean you'd actually do it? - It was your idea.
Isn't it odd for two grown people to decide
whether or not to break up by flipping a coin?
Yeah, I guess it is.
Come on in.
Awesome pad.
Don't turn it off.
Awesome tune. What is it?
- The national anthem, bonehead. - Oh, yeah.
I haven't heard the instrumental version lately, so I forgot it.
- Is there something you want? - Huh?
- You want something? - Yeah, of course.
It's in my car.
Do you know they got monkeys dealing drugs in Thailand?
- What kind of monkeys? - Gibbons.
- How could they do that? - Like anyone else.
They deliver packages and collect money just like you do.
Hang on.
Are you implying I'm a monkey?
Let me tell you something, pal. You're a total burn-out.
- You're thirty years old... - I'm twenty-nine. -Who cares?
You're a loser. You quit school, you work as a moving man...
You're constantly stoned, and you hardly know your own name.
Hey, you're right. I am thirty.
Meanwhile you could be the master of your own destiny.
You could play an active role in the story of your life.
You keep smoking weed and you'll be a basket case by 35.
Or you come to your senses, and take hold of your destiny.
- There is some truth to that. - It's entirely up to you.
What do you think I should do?
Cocaine.
- Holy shit! - Promise you'll think about it.
I can do that.
What do I want you to do?
Think about it!
Okay. I'll think about it.
- Are you serious about me? - You bet.
- Sure this isn't just about sex? - Excuse me?
We just met. I don't even know your sign.
- What is your sign? - Does it matter?
- Would you be a Capricorn? - Why?
They don't like saying what sign they are.
- Then I'm a Capricorn. - You are? That's good.
- What can I get you? - A Rapid and...
A regular shot for055 or a „body shot“ for 155?
- A regular shot. - Wait. What's a body shot?
You put salt behind your ear, lemon... I'd have to show you.
Then show us.
I'd have to demonstrate...
- ...on her. - Go ahead, then.
I'm no guinea pig. Find someone else, okay?
Yuck! I'm all sticky!
- What time do you get off work? - You two will be asleep by then.
That's my sister.
Dear friends, back in prep school...
Back in high school...
Would you mind if we had a few people over?
Of course not. Who?
- Travel agency clients. - Czechs?
- No, more like Japanese. - Japanese again!
They want to see how a typical Czech family lives.
How do you envision this? Will we have to wear costumes?
Will I have to act like a fool or dress up as a plumber?
Why would you have to dress up as a plumber?
I don't know.
- Did I say, „as a plumber?“ - Yes, you did.
That was just one way I could make a fool of myself.
You won't have to do that.
They'll come over. They'll watch us eat, walk the dog...
Do we have a dog?
We could borrow one.
Nothing against the Japanese, but our family is sacred to me.
I respect what we've built. Our family is a private matter.
- I don't want tourists eyeing us. - Very nicely put.
Dear friends...
Some years ago... Excellent. That's it.
Some years ago...
A break-up?
You leave a piece of your soul with everyone you break up with.
The missing piece is what hurts.
Because it's not with you.
Eventually it comes back to you, but it takes a long time.
Sometimes I see blue lights on people.
They're pieces of the souls of people who used to love you.
Sometimes they're the hopes your parents had for you.
That's the second kind.
Everyone's covered with lights.
Really. The Japanese have even invented a way to measure it.
- The Japanese, huh? - They know how to measure it.
- Why don't I drive instead? - Why? I'm fine. -Really?
No pressure. I understand.
It can mess up your short-term memory.
But it can help your long-term one.
Holy shit!
Don't move him! His spine could be messed up.
- He's pinned in here. - Shouldn't we call an ambulance?
- I used to drive an ambulance. - Really? -Really.
- We're not moving him, right? - Of course not.
I'm just looking at the way he's pinned in there.
- We're not moving him, right? - No.
His spine could be messed up.
Some years ago my girlfriend left me.
I was so upset that I would have done anything just to see her.
I even dressed up as a plumber to get into her apartment.
For two years I followed her around and walked by her house.
- I left flowers on her doorstep. - His idea of an atypical speech.
Yet I knew something complex and mysterious was guiding me.
My brain. So instead of devoting my life to that girl,
I devoted it to the human brain. Thank you. Thank you, Professor.
Tonight proves you didn't make such a bad choice.
- Excuse me, I have an emergency. - I understand.
Such is the life of a neurosurgeon.
In recent years neurosurgery has made great strides...
We can move my stuff tomorrow, Jakub. Will you come pick me up?
Now we'll apply...
- Do you have that? - Yes, I do.
This is Petr. This band will be coming to Prague...
And now for a new contest called „Record Your Mother.“
Send me tapes of your mothers for all our listeners to hear.
Now for something I think is really good.
We never see you. You go to bars and you look like a druggie.
It's that lifestyle of yours. And those friends of yours...
You got sick of her so you sent her packing.
- Some boyfriend you are! - That's not him.
- He's just helping me move. - Then go on in.
- I've never met your friends. - It was Petr. You know him.
Petr? That Petr?
I knew he'd send you packing from the minute I saw him.
Why isn't Petr helping you if he sent you packing?
He didn't send me packing. We just broke up.
Some life you lead.
Listen to that cough. It's that lifestyle of yours again.
- It's from the air here. - Where? At our house?
- No, the Prague air. - It's that lifestyle of yours!
And those friends of yours, for Christ's sake.
Keep your hands off her! You let everyone touch you.
- Goodbye. - I'll just be staying for a few nights.
- No problem. Hi! - Hi, Dad.
- We're glad you're here. - I don't get it.
Why are you like this when Dad and I are so happy?
- I'm not all that happy. - Yes, you are.
Happy is what she will never be!
- Have his relatives been by? - No. Strangers brought him in.
Let me see that.
Are these their names?
- Yes. Do you know them? - No, why?
Never heard of them. On the contrary.
Doctor?
I'm sorry.
- This apartment looks fine. - It's too luxurious.
- And the lady in South Prague? - She lives alone.
It's sad to say, but yours is the only typical family around.
Sorry, but my family is sacred. We will not perform for anyone.
This doesn't belong here, but this girl is interesting.
- Could they go to her house? - No, to her parents' house.
She has excellent parents. Her mother's especially crazed.
And they'd go for it.
Listen, I've got to go. Take it easy.
Bye!
- Hi, Ondrej! - What a coincidence! Hanka!
- What are you doing here? - I have a meeting.
- What are you up to? - I'm in school. -Great!
- How about your boyfriend? - We're still together.
I'm glad to hear that.
- I heard him on the radio. - Really?
I listen to him on the radio sometimes.
Can I give you a hug?
- A hug? - Just as friends.
Sure.
Some time ago I made a private agreement with God.
That I'd become a doctor on account of you.
And once I'd saved enough lives, God would give you back to me.
Oh...
Last night I operated on the man you brought in.
- Did you? How is he? - Fine.
- And it was a sign. - What kind of sign?
I don't know yet, but it seemed like a sign.
I operated on the same person you brought to the hospital.
- That surely is a sign! - A sign we should live together.
- Come off it! - I'm sorry. It was just a joke.
I wasn't really serious. I just wanted to...
- I have to go. -Fine. - Take it easy, bye. -Bye!
That was not good.
I should've left God out of it.
That was not good.
So you want me to pretend I'm your girlfriend?
Exactly.
Mom would be really happy. She's really attached to me.
- It wouldn't be right. - She wants me to live well.
- Don't you live well? - I live like a pig. -A pig?
- Don't you have a girlfriend? - Nope.
Couldn't someone else do this?
The point is that I look good. I'm faithful to you.
We know each other well. You respect me. Get it?
Do I say we're getting married?
That you can leave out. You can say you liked my screenplay.
- You wrote a screenplay? - Not yet, but you can say that.
Hi, patient!
So this is Mom, and this is Vesna.
- Hello. - She's my girlfriend.
I'm faithful to her. We love each other.
- Does he still drink a lot? - Not anymore. He's improved.
Are you still a Buddhist? Why haven't you visited me?
- I was in Bangkok. -Where? - In Bangkok. -It's in Thailand.
- Did you sleep with prostitutes? - No, I was writing a screenplay.
- A screenplay? - It's very good.
Really?
See? He never lets me read anything.
- Did he smoke marijuana there? - No, he quit.
- He always says no when I offer. - You offer it to him?
Not anymore. I quit, too. He's a good influence on me.
And on everyone else.
Can I use the bathroom?
- What's this supposed to mean? - I needed a way to pick her up.
I said I wanted to cheer you up. And she's enjoying it.
-Aren't you pleased that I'm so playful? -Not really.
But I get my inability to take things seriously from you.
It didn't bother you at all when we used to cry as kids.
You told us to cry, that tears are a good oral disinfectant.
- Must you always joke around? - You're the one who's joking.
- You aren't really sick. - Will you ever love me?
How can you expect to succeed if nothing is sacred to you?
- Find a steady relationship. - I'm thinking of buying a dog.
Gary Gilmore was a mass murderer who received the death penalty.
He was also an organ donor, so strangers got his organs.
This song's about the guy who was given Gary's eyes.
He had to look at life through Gary Gilmore's eyes.
No, thanks. I'm not interested.
Hello.
- Do you have a lighter? - Yeah, I think so.
- Can I have a light? - Hang on. I have to find it.
Here it is.
Hey, I have the same one!
- Goodbye. - Do you want to go somewhere?
- Like where? - Out for a drink? -No, I don't.
- Can I kiss you? - Yup.
- Isn't there an extra charge? - For what?
I thought kissing was the most expensive.
I have no idea.
I guess that's just in Bangkok.
- You were in Bangkok? - You bet.
- Really? - Yup.
- Tell me about it. - The whores are in aquariums.
Cool. How much do girls charge for tricks?
- Fellatio's 500. - What?
A blow job. Intercourse costs 500 or maybe 1000.
Sometimes you can get both for 1000 baths.
That's the same in Czech crowns. And kissing costs the most.
It's at least 2500.
- 2500? - You didn't know that?
Nope. Did you?
Let's not waste time chatting.
That's intense. Slow down.
That's harsh. Unbelievable...
None of my friends could ever be President.
- Are those people your friends? - Yup.
- Ice? - Nope.
They're all my friends, and they're all living a lie.
They're lucky I'm around to point that out to them.
That's my project.
- Who's that girl? - A friend. Why?
- Do you know her family? - Yeah. Pretty loony.
- Her mom's especially crazed. - In what way?
She acts like my mom. Why?
So you all know each other here.
Why are you in this country?
On account of UFOs.
- UFOs. - Yup.
The soil here is good, so they can fly low.
-Can't they do that anywhere else? -Nope.
You're insane!
I've never asked a girl this before, but what's your sign?
I was walking down an odd street...
and I had the feeling I was in a foreign city like Tokyo, Japan
I've never been to Tokyo, but I imagine it's a cold place.
- And that's how I feel today. - Gee, what happened?
This song's about what's inside me today.
- Are you coming to bed? - You can turn off the light.
I broke up with my girlfriend because...
We just broke up... Because we're both looking for someone
who won't go looking for somebody else.
And until we find that person,
we'll keep looking on our own.
It's pretty complex. I guess there's no solution.
But that doesn't matter.
That doesn't matter...
What? My back hurts, so I'm working out the kinks...
You really scared us, you fool.
It's a miracle you're alive, but the doctors here are good.
- Good morning, Doctor. - Morning.
- Thanks on behalf of my brother. - I don't have a brother.
I said, my brother. You operated on him yesterday.
- How can I ever repay you? - That's quite all right.
- Medicine fascinates me. - It's just a job like any other.
- What do you do? - I'm a magician. -Really?
- I can show you a trick. - This is not the right place.
It'll only take a second. What's in your pocket?
- Here. - Watch closely.
Stop moving your hands around.
Goodness, I've got to run.
Doctor? This is for you.
That's my card. Come see my magic show.
Thank you.
Hey! Hi!
- What a coincidence. - It certainly is.
- What're you doing here? - I was at the library.
How are you? I heard you and your boyfriend broke up.
- Where'd you hear that? - On the radio.
We might get back together.
It was wise you lied to me.
You thought I'd go bananas again
like when I used to put on disguises and follow you around.
I was thinking more of the time you almost set us on fire.
- On fire? What do you mean? - You heard me!
Oh, that. That was just a joke.
That was no joke! Don't you remember?
Do you think I'd really set you on fire? I'm not insane.
I think you are!
Wait! Can I give you a hug?
No, you'd better not.
- We must stop seeing each other. - I was thinking that myself.
- Even „by chance.“ - You can say that again.
Call me if you need help moving. Sorry, bad idea. I take it back.
- Anything else you want? -No. - Then I'm off. -Bye...
Vesna isn't just a great girl who knows how to summon UFOs.
More importantly, she's a master of the body shot. Show him!
- That's not a good idea. - I agree.
- I'm more interested in UFOs. - Body shots are better.
You're a DJ, and you don't know what a body shot is?
- I don't have to know everything. - Lie down.
Put salt behind your ear, tequila in your belly button.
Put lemon in your mouth, and then Vesna will drink it.
Quit looking at each other! I thought you were curious.
I am, but Hanka's on her way. This is not a good idea.
Okay, you're right.
Hanka! Wait!
Sorry. We were just drinking tequila like they do in Mexico.
- In Mexico, huh? - They drink it like that there.
- It comes from cactuses. - Why did you ask me here?
It occurred to me that the guy you took to the hospital...
- ...could've been a sign. - What kind of sign?
I don't know.
But it's odd you found him the night you moved out.
That is odd.
Maybe it was a sign that we should've stayed together.
Or that we shouldn't have.
A tequila sunrise and a body shot of tequila.
Do you know what a body shot is?
It'd make me happy. Honest. I collect this stuff.
- You collect guitar picks? - I collect all sorts of stuff.
Will you go with me?
He'll be more likely to give you the pick if you're alone.
Anyway, he kept looking at you.
- I'll wait here for you, okay? - So, a guitar pick, right?
- And I want it autographed. - Fine.
Hi.
On a guitar pick.
What time do you get off work?
- Everyone's covered with lights. - Lights?
Me, too?
Well... To be honest, not really.
That's good.
Isn't it?
It means that no one loves you.
Your cell phone's ringing. Why don't you answer it?
But I don't have a cell phone.
Hello?
You bet. I wanted to go, but it slipped my mind.
A guitar pick. Sure I'll bring one. See you.
If I understand correctly, Vesna promised her boyfriend a pick.
That's why who's here?
That's why I'm here. Because what do I know how to do?
Forge a famous guitarist's autograph. Is that correct?
Yup.
- Did I do a good job? - It looks great. Thanks.
My pleasure.
What do I owe you?
-The guys said you're interested in UFOs. -Yup.
- Do you think they land here? - No, but they fly close to here.
Do they?
If you hear about anything, I'd love to go with you.
- I'm not sure. - Why not?
People go to Africa to watch dolphins from boats.
They go to Asia to watch rhinos on elephant-back.
Why couldn't people watch UFOs from a delivery truck here?
A travel agency, get it? See Old Town in the morning,
Prague Castle in the afternoon, and UFOs at night.
- Want me to wait for you? - No, you don't have to.
Thanks for offering.
- Hi! - Hi!
- Can I come in? - Sure.
I wanted to introduce you two, anyway. Monika!
Bartender Monika, meet bartender Vesna.
- Is she your sister? - No.
Does she look like my sister?
You're disgusting.
No, I'm not. I like you, but everyone does this.
- This is what you do. - This is just life. -Your life.
We all fuck each other here. There's nothing sad about it.
Vesna!
I have to get this on film.
- Relax... - You're an idiot!
Hang on...
Czechs are nasty to each other because Czech language is nasty.
Czech is stupid. The sounds are harsh, and it's complicated.
- It's all „perhaps, “ „if“... - “Could“ and „would.“
No one knows how to say what they like to say.
- Would like to say. - Would like to say.
- And everyone tells lies. - They don't smoke enough pot.
- Do you think that's why? - If they did, they'd lie less.
Maybe they'd break up less.
Getting high isn't part of our culture yet.
Maybe you're right. I just know this country is fucked up.
That's for sure. Then again, every country is.
- You can leave your shoes on. - Really?
- Hello! -Did Hanka send you? - No, this was my idea.
- Did you hear what Petr did? - No.
- He sent her packing. - Did he?
- Pretty cruel of him. - I'd say so.
- May I videotape your house? - Of course.
- I'm sorry. - That's all right.
I'll just turn this on...
- Is this for television? - No.
I'm from a travel agency. We specialize in Japan.
Japanese tourists want to see how typical Czechs live.
- Would they come to our house? - Yes, with an interpreter.
If you're interested we can go upstairs. Follow me.
- Do you talk? - Who? The two of us?
Do you talk during meals?
- Yes, a little. - We talk a lot.
We've had some quiet applicants. That's not what we want.
Actually we talk all the time. Right, Dad?
- Do you have a dog? - No. -No problem.
We'll provide one. Get small dog that doesn't shed much.
Hanka's staying in this bedroom now. And here's the bathroom.
Excellent. You could walk the dog, watch some TV.
We could do that.
- But the focus will be on food. - What do you mean?
- I'd say we're going to eat. - Exactly.
The Japanese want to know how typical Czechs act during meals.
Come in.
- Am I disturbing you? - Not at all. Come in.
At the hospital you offered to pay me back.
- And the offer still stands. - Now there is something I need.
What is it?
No, I'm sorry. How would I do that?
No, that wouldn't work.
For my next trick I need a volunteer from the audience.
Sir, why don't you come up here? Don't worry.
Come right up.
Get inside. Don't worry. You'll be fine.
You'll be fine... Perhaps.
This is...
I'll shut the door.
- Am I to believe he disappeared? - It sounds silly, doesn't it?
- It sure does. -But it's true. - This is a very bad joke.
Ondrej has never pulled silly stunts like this.
I am not leaving until you give me my husband back.
Good afternoon.
- May I help you? - Are you Mrs. Cerna? -Yes.
I've come to inspect your gas appliances.
- Come in. The gate's open. - Thank you, ma'am.
Stop making those awful faces!
Are they even going to watch me shave?
We can still cancel out.
When you think about it, we could prevent wars.
- In Kosovo, say? - Doubtful.
But if the Americans had visited Vietnamese families,
- there wouldn't have been a war. - Wars break my heart.
I can't bear to see those children and poor people.
And meanwhile we are so happy.
- I'm not all that happy. - Yes, you are.
Happy is what those people will never be.
- Is everything all right? -Yes. - I didn't even offer you a drink.
- Do I owe you anything? - No, these inspections are free.
- Fine. Goodbye. - Goodbye.
- Did we have company? - No.
-How do you explain the flowers in my room? -Which flowers?
- I don't believe it. - Actually, the gas man was here.
- What did he want? - He came to inspect the stove.
But we don't have a gas stove.
Hello?
Ondrej?
Not having a gas stove is no reason to get hysterical.
„Record Your Mother.“
Back to our contest. A friend of mine likes surprising me.
Sometimes it's quite unpleasant, but now I'll surprise him.
Recently he gave me a tape of his mother.
So, Robert. A big hello to you and your mom!
I've improved.
For example, I go by garbage cans without taking anything.
- I had a mess tin here. - Really?
Last time someone threw away a high power vacuum cleaner.
- Are you recording this? - Yup.
- That's good. - Do you have anything to drink?
Otherwise I wouldn't try...
I left a high power vacuum cleaner there.
- I see. - I didn't even look at it.
How do you know it was a high power vacuum?
- There was a grinder here. - Where's the wine?
- Did you see the grinder? - Nope.
It was in a box and there were some new boots on top of it.
Brand new.
That's how I knew the vacuum was good.
And I didn't look at it or the boots.
Because I knew God was just tempting me.
- Move over. - Why do you collect this junk?
My son is a disappointment
and I want to be remembered for something.
You're such a klutz.
Would you go with them? I'll shoot the breeze with them.
But I'm not going anywhere. It's awesome here.
- Think so? - You bet.
There are forty-two civilizations in the universe,
and we're in last place.
Measured by what?
- Moral maturity... - Yeah.
We're also the only planet
where procreation requires only two beings.
So on the other planets you need three beings?
No, seven. Of various sexes.
There are three of us.
So we'd need four more beings of totally different sexes.
Right.
Then maybe I will go.
Why are we here, anyway?
- I guess we're waiting for UFOs. - Right.
I forgot something in the car.
Why are we here, anyway?
You don't really believe in UFOs.
- Maybe not. - Then why are you in Prague?
I came here to see Dad.
- Dad? Your Dad? - Yup. -Is he in this country?
Yup.
- Does he know about you? - Nope.
Want to tell me about it?
Nope.
And I don't want to start anything until I see him.
Even though I like you. Understand?
Of course.
At times it's easier to see a UFO than your own dad.
So the Macedonian beauty came here to look for her dad.
He's from the Czech Republic, and she's never seen him before.
So now I'm going to play some Macedonian music.
Because at times it's easier to see a UFO than to live
with the kind of girl I lived with for three years.
Why did you live with me if it was that horrible?
- Sorry, we were stoned. - You can't always make excuses.
- I'm not. - Know what your problem is?
You've never done anything for anyone.
You've never given up anything you like for anyone.
Would you get a degree for someone?
- For you? -This isn't about me. - Then who is this about?
-Would you give up anything at all? -Of course.
Something really important?
Do you want me to jump off a bridge for you?
No, I just wanted you to be brave about our break-up.
So I'd have a reason to respect you so I could come back to you.
So you wanted to come back to me because I broke up with you?
- Yeah. - That's great.
You're just like your mother.
What?
As Station Manager I am responsible for what you play.
I don't care about your break-up or your contest. No one does.
Tell me why you play this stuff.
My mother is ten times worse than what you've been playing.
Radio is no private matter.
If I hear this stuff again, you can pack it in. Get it?
Yes.
I was afraid we'd never meet again.
Nah, I knew we would.
How did you know that?
Because the guy pinned in the car was a sign.
A sign?
We find a guy pinned in his car the first time we meet.
He was pinned in a car he'd rolled.
Didn't that seem like a sign to you?
Yeah, I guess so.
It's a clear sign that something's going on between us.
The fact that you're high is a sign you shouldn't be driving.
Get a load of these buildings.
Aren't they awesome?
What city is this? Dubrovnik?
- This is Prague, you moron. - I know. I was just testing you.
This is where I was born. This is where I live.
But today it seems new. It's really nice.
Tourists flip out over these buildings.
You can rip me off just like you do to tourists.
It sounds like you're saying he steals.
- So you really steal, huh? - Knock it off.
Why? Let him steal. It's awesome.
Where's he going? How can he drive from out there?
Ouch!
The Golden Age of Moving is coming.
More and more people are moving to more and more new places.
I'm afraid of how it'll turn out.
But I'm not getting in the way. I want to move with the times!
- What do you want to be? - A mover.
- You already are one. - Awesome. Then I'll keep my job!
My sincere condolences...
Wow! Awesome hose.
- My condolences. - Do I know you?
I'm Ondrej.
Of course, Lenka's husband. She's looking for you.
Come in. Look at all the junk Mom had.
It's that psychopath again.
He keeps following me around.
- Then we'll get him stoned. - He doesn't smoke.
- Does he eat? - Why wouldn't he?
Then I'll put it in some food.
This is my sister Julie.
This is Ondrej. He's a doctor.
I don't have to introduce you. This is Jakub, a great musician.
- Hi, I'm Jakub. - Do you want something to drink?
- Tea? Coffee? - No, thanks.
Do you have any pastry or cake?
Isn't cake more for weddings?
Do you have any mixes?
We must.
I want to bake something.
Ondrej, I don't know how to get through to you.
Look. You've made a mess of your life, haven't you?
I'm offering you a way out.
What way?
What can you offer me? You're a psychopath!
Don't touch me! You're an addicted psychopath!
Life with a psychopath might be your only way out.
Or are you looking for someone who'll leave you in a year?
Let's live together! Please!
I love you more than anything.
I know I act like an idiot. That's because of you.
I think of you when I'm walking down the street, at work...
for Lenka. I can't help it.
I think of you in so many places that I can't even name them all.
I went to medical school so you would be proud of me.
I sometimes wish you'd fracture your thigh in a car accident...
- Don't touch me! - Please!
- Don't touch me! - Hanka, I'm begging you!
That's heavy stuff.
I understand you. I'm a wreck, too.
Can I give you a hug?
- Me? - Just as friends.
What are you staring at?
It wasn't that big a deal.
I always stare like this.
Don't look at me. He asked.
- I wanted to answer him. - But you were looking at me.
So I was looking at you instead of at him.
Whatever.
- What did you bake? - Some excellent pastry.
I don't want any pastry. I just want to sit down.
Some party.
- I'd like something to drink. - We have some excellent pastry.
- What is this? - Nothing.
- Did you set us on fire? - No, I didn't.
- But we're burning! - No, you aren't.
Everything's just fine.
- Have a seat. It's all right. - Holy shit! This is warped!
Holy shit!
This is unreal!
That was warped. Wasn't it?
Please...
I love you.
I think of you in so many places
that I can't even name them all.
I love you more than anything.
Why did you film this?
I don't know. I found it interesting.
Interesting?
Yup.
- It seems sad to me. - It is sad.
Maybe that's my problem. I find sad things fascinating.
Without sadness I feel nothing, and I can't change.
- That's quite sad, isn't it? - Yes, but it's also fascinating.
You are a real idiot.
„I'm sorry, Hanka“
Scram!
We all need relationships. Someone who loves you.
Someone who'll caress you when you're down.
The world might be awesome, but sometimes it stinks.
And Hanka's sensitive. She's totally awesome.
I told her I love her and I want to live with her.
Live with her? You already have a girlfriend.
- Say what? - C'mon, Alice.
- Alice who? - You tell me.
I wouldn't... Oh yeah, Alice. But we broke up.
No, you didn't.
But we saw her off at the train station.
She just went to Germany to see her aunt.
You're a total waste case.
You can't even remember who you're going out with.
Do you even know your own name? Listen, quit smoking pot.
Do you want me to go schizo?
„I'll wait for you“
I have to tell you something.
I thought we'd start going out,
but the guys said I already had a girlfriend.
- Which guys? - From the band.
Then it all came back to me.
I'd totally forgotten about her.
- You're joking, right? - No, I'm not. I know it's awful.
I'm sorry, but put yourself in my place.
Life's a bitch. Everything has turned against us.
I want to cry. I love you, but I promised to stay with her.
I remember making that decision.
- I don't want to hurt anyone. - You don't want to hurt anyone?
- I'm sorry. - It's all that pot you smoke!
It's that lifestyle of yours!
This is the last thing I'm gonna play for you.
This is also the last tape I have of my girlfriend.
This is her cough from March 3, 1997.
You can see how long we were together.
I guess we hurt each other. But in any event...
Here's a beautiful cough.
Where have you been? We started without you.
Where have you been?
We started without you.
Come on.
Sit down.
- What is this? - Beef. -With cranberries.
No, thanks. I'm not hungry.
This is beef. Have some more dumplings.
They want to see how we eat. Isn't this in the contract?
- Can I talk to you in private? - Later, okay?
The father is indicating that they can talk later.
What the hell is this? What's she saying?
- Watch your language! - Stop snapping at me!
The daughter is surprised by the unusual situation.
I'm not afraid to slap you!
I came to see you because I feel awful and I need to talk to you.
Yet what do I find here?
Do you know why you feel awful? It's that lifestyle of yours.
The daughter wants advice on how
to deal with the fact that
a married man is stalking her.
- It those friends of yours. - You don't even know them.
Seeing them is enough.
Isn't it odd for a girl your age to move all the time?
Quiet!
- Seeing you breaks my heart. - You break my heart too, Mom.
Stop it!
This is unbearable.
The parents object to having this kind of discussion today.
Kindly realize that life isn't that easy.
- I see. - What?
You have an obligation. We've had to make sacrifices.
Well I have, out of love!
You don't even know what that means because your friends...
- ... never make sacrifices for you. - I don't want them to!
And they don't! You people don't live life.
You just slice it!
The mother thinks the daughter is to blame for her own problems.
I like women as people.
I'm just not going to sleep with them anymore.
If I ever do meet a girl, for the first 146 days
we're just going to talk.
146 days. That's important. It can't be less than that.
Then maybe I'll give her a kiss.
But until I find that kind of girl I'm going to be alone.
Not everyone has the chance to be alone like I have.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Have you already started?
- Did you wash your hands? - Yes.
- I saw the video. - Which video?
From Robert's party. I was quite shocked.
It was just an ordinary party.
You have a few drinks, and then act crazy.
You dance and laugh. Should I pack my things?
Of course not. Have a seat.
I think we have a good relationship.
- Do you? - Of course.
You buy us nice Christmas gifts. You don't smoke or drink.
You're faithful to me, reliable.
And you love us.
- Do you think so? - Of course you love us.
- Did you think you loved her? - Yes, I did.
Sometimes it's hard to figure out what you want on your own.
You think you want to live with someone else.
Yet what you really want is to dress up as a plumber.
Why, that's me.
I didn't know the problem was your attraction to overalls.
You can wear them at home.
Thanks, but I don't think that's the main problem.
Perhaps the hospital would even let you wear them to work.
- No. Well, maybe. - But promise you'll think about it.
Fine, I'll think about it.
- Bon appetit. - Bon appetit.
Bon appetit!
I get high because the world is cruel and people are lonely.
I work so I can buy drugs that make people seem kind,
friendly, free, and beautiful.
Trouble is these drugs probably caused me to hurt someone.
So it doesn't make sense for me to do them anymore.
I've had it with drugs. I'm giving up weed.
This is my last joint.
I'm not even going to finish it.
- What's she like? - She's a bit selfish and tough,
and she never gives up without a fight.
- Is it even worth the effort? - Yeah. Give it a try.
- Hi! - Hi!
Pretty good, huh?
It occurred to me that the guy I took to the hospital...
- ...really could've been a sign. - What kind of sign?
English subtitles by Lisette Saint Germain
Subtitles edited by Petr Zelenka