1
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:15,007
MY, ISN'T IT HOT IN HERE!
2
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
3
00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:00,818
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
4
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:18,099
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING
MORE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
5
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,441
IT'S...
6
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:27,347
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
7
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:36,021
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
8
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:39,862
and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
9
00:01:56,483 --> 00:02:01,386
"OH, MR. BELPIT, YOUR LEGS
ARE SO SWOL... SWOLLEN."
10
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,082
"OH, MR. BELPIT?"
11
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,615
"OH, MR. BELPIT, YOUR LEGS
ARE SO SWOLLEN."
12
00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:09,355
"OH, MR. BELPIT..."
13
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:10,521
EXCUSE ME,
EXCUSE ME.
14
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:11,860
I SAW YOUR
ADVERTISEMENT
15
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:12,922
FOR FLYING LESSONS
16
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,957
AND I'D LIKE TO
MAKE AN APPLICATION.
17
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,263
NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
18
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,496
I'M NOT IN THIS SHOW.
19
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:18,834
OH, I SEE.
20
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,204
"OH, MR. BELPIT..."
21
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,299
DO YOU... DO YOU...
22
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,570
DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THEM...
23
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,668
THE FLYING LESSONS?
24
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:25,973
NO, NOTHING
TO DO WITH ME.
25
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,104
I'M NOT IN THIS SHOW.
26
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,114
THIS IS SHOW FIVE.
27
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,638
I'M NOT IN
UNTIL SHOW EIGHT.
28
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:30,706
OH, I SEE.
29
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:32,717
I'M JUST LEARNING
MY LINES, YOU KNOW.
30
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,287
"OH, MR...
31
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,949
OH, MR. BELPIT,
YOUR LEGS..."
32
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,515
A BIT AWKWARD, EH?
33
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:40,457
YES.
34
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:41,687
I'M A BIT STUCK.
35
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,355
WELL, TRY OVER THERE.
36
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,660
"OH, MR. BELPIT..."
OH, YES, THANKS.
37
00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:47,222
NOT AT ALL.
THANKS A LOT.
38
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:50,202
"OH, MR. BELPIT, THEY'RE SO SWOL...
SWOLLEN."
39
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:53,296
"OH! M... MR. BELPIT,
YOUR LEGS..."
40
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,204
EXCUSE ME, I SAW
YOUR ADVERTISEMENT
41
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:56,265
FOR FLYING LESSONS
42
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:58,209
AND I'D LIKE TO MAKE
AN APPLICATION.
43
00:02:58,244 --> 00:02:59,211
APPOINTMENT?
44
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,212
YES, YES.
45
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:01,270
CERTAINLY.
46
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,009
WOULD YOU COME
THIS WAY, PLEASE?
47
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,493
MORNING, MR. JONES, MR. BARNES.
48
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,516
MORNING.
49
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,638
MORNING, MRS. WILLS.
50
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,575
MORNING, LOVE.
51
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,280
TAKE THIS TO
MARKETING, WOULD YOU?
52
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,225
JUST FOLLOW ME.
53
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:56,495
OH, BE CAREFUL.
54
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,299
YES, NEARLY TRIPPED.
55
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:03,867
WE'LL BE THERE SOON.
56
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,038
GOOD. IT'S A LONG WAY, ISN'T IT?
57
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,776
OH, GET HOLD OF THAT.
58
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,613
WATCH IT.
59
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,175
MORNING.
60
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:15,210
MORNING.
61
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,557
UP THE STAIRS.
62
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,788
YES.
63
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,854
BE CAREFUL, VERY STEEP.
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00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,832
ALMOST THERE.
65
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,029
MORNING.
66
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,662
MORNING.
67
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,471
WILL YOU COME
THIS WAY, PLEASE?
68
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:44,984
IN HERE, PLEASE.
69
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:45,985
THANK YOU.
70
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,418
HELLO, I SAW YOUR
ADVERTISEMENT
71
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:48,477
FOR FLYING LESSONS
72
00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:50,216
AND I'D LIKE TO MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT.
73
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,486
WELL, MR. ANEMONE'S
ON THE PHONE AT THE MOMENT
74
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,720
BUT I'M SURE HE WON'T
MIND IF YOU GO ON IN.
75
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:55,726
THROUGH HERE.
76
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:57,819
AH, WON'T BE A MOMENT.
77
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,161
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
78
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,301
NO, NO, WELL, LOOK,
YOU CAN ASK MR. MAUDLING
79
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,167
BUT I'M SURE
HE'LL NEVER AGREE.
80
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:07,672
NOT FOR 50 SHILLINGS, NO.
81
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,640
NO. BYE-BYE, GORDON.
82
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:10,938
BYE-BYE.
83
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,376
OH, DEAR.
84
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:13,743
BYE-BYE.
85
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:16,680
MISSED.
NOW, MR. UH...
86
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:17,772
CHIGGER.
87
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,876
MR. CHIGGER, SO YOU
WANT TO LEARN TO FLY.
88
00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:20,578
YES.
89
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,882
RIGHT, WELL, UP ON THE TABLE
90
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:23,286
ARMS OUT, FINGERS TOGETHER,
KNEES BENT!
91
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,347
NO, NO, NO.
92
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,358
UP ON THE TABLE!
93
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,986
ARMS OUT, FINGERS
TOGETHER, KNEES BENT.
94
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:30,222
NOW, HEAD WELL FORWARD.
95
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,321
NOW, FLAP YOUR ARMS.
96
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:32,558
GO ON, FLAP FASTER.
97
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,862
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER,
FASTER, FASTER, FASTER.
98
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:35,890
NOW JUMP!
99
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,699
ROTTEN, ROTTEN.
100
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,467
YOU'RE NO
BLOODY USE AT ALL.
101
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,497
YOU'RE AN UTTER
BLOODY WASH-OUT.
102
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,237
YOU MAKE ME SICK,
YOU WEED!
103
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,710
NOW, LOOK HERE!
104
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:46,712
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
105
00:05:46,779 --> 00:05:48,212
I'LL GIVE YOU
ONE MORE CHANCE.
106
00:05:48,247 --> 00:05:49,214
GET ON THE TABLE.
107
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:50,374
LOOK, I CAME HERE TO LEARN
108
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:51,508
HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE.
109
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:52,108
A WHAT?
110
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:53,140
I CAME HERE TO LEARN
111
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,380
HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE.
112
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,615
OH, AN AEROPLANE.
113
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,886
OH, I SAY,
WE ARE GRAND, AREN'T WE?
114
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:03,555
OH, OH, NO
MORE BUTTERED SCONES FOR ME, MATER.
115
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,655
I'M OFF TO PLAY THE GRAND PIANO.
116
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,962
PARDON ME
WHILE I FLY MY AEROPLANE.
117
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,661
NOW, GET ON THE TABLE!
118
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,670
LOOK, NO ONE IN THE
HISTORY OF THE WORLD
119
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,638
HAS EVER BEEN ABLE
TO FLY LIKE THAT.
120
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,368
OH, I SUPPOSE
MATER TOLD YOU THAT
121
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:16,773
WHILE YOU WERE
OUT RIDING.
122
00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:18,071
WELL, IF PEOPLE CAN'T FLY
123
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,408
WHAT AM I DOING UP HERE?
124
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:20,412
YOU'RE ON A WIRE.
125
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,413
OH, A WIRE?
126
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,539
I'M ON A WIRE, AM I?
127
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,982
OF COURSE YOU'RE
ON A BLOODY WIRE.
128
00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,882
I AM NOT
ON A WIRE; I AM FLYING.
129
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:27,681
YOU'RE ON A WIRE.
130
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:28,220
I AM FLYING!
131
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:29,414
YOU'RE ON A WIRE!
132
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,446
I'LL SHOW YOU WHETHER
I'M ON A WIRE OR NOT.
133
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:32,458
GIVE ME THE "OOP."
134
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:33,459
WHAT?
135
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,391
OH, I DON'T SUPPOSE
136
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,553
WE KNOW WHAT AN OOP IS.
137
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,859
I SUPPOSE PATER THOUGHT
THEY WERE A BIT COMMON
138
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,694
EXCEPT ON THE BLEEDING
CROQUET LAWN.
139
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,699
OH, A "HOOP."
140
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,099
"OH! AN HOOP."
141
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,104
THANK YOU, YOUR
BLEEDING HIGHNESS.
142
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,105
NOW... LOOK.
143
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,163
GO ON!
144
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:48,138
RIGHT THE WAY ALONG.
145
00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:49,436
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
146
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:52,101
THERE, NOW, WHERE'S
THE BLEEDING WIRE?
147
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,476
THAT HOOP'S GOT A HOLE IN.
148
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,708
OH, ETON AND MAGDALENE,
THE HOOP HAS AN HOLE IN.
149
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:57,113
OF COURSE IT'S GOT A HOLE IN!
150
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,448
IT WOULDN'T BE A HOOP OTHERWISE,
WOULD IT, MUSH?
151
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:02,249
NO, THERE'S A GAP
IN THE MIDDLE, THERE.
152
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:05,086
OH, A GAP, A GAP IN ONE'S HOOP.
153
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:08,150
PARDON ME, BUT I'M OFF
TO PLAY THE GRAND PIANO.
154
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,786
LOOK, I CAN SEE
YOU'RE ON A WIRE.
155
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:10,796
LOOK, THERE IT IS.
156
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,297
LOOK, I TOLD YOU,
YOU BASTARD...
157
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:13,298
I'M NOT ON A WIRE.
158
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:14,128
YOU ARE. THERE IS.
159
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,293
THERE ISN'T.
160
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:15,857
IS.
161
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:16,527
ISN'T!
IS!
162
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:17,365
ISN'T!
IS!
163
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,030
ISN'T! IS!
ISN'T! IS!
164
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,062
ANYWAY, THIS RATHER
POINTLESS BICKERING
165
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,506
WENT ON FOR SOME TIME UNTIL...
166
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,237
GOSH, I AM GLAD
167
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,805
I'M A FULLY QUALIFIED
AIRLINE PILOT.
168
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,976
THE BRITISH AIRLINE
PILOTS ASSOCIATION
169
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:35,146
WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT
THAT IT TAKES A CHAP SIX YEARS
170
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,385
TO BECOME A FULLY QUALIFIED
AIRLINE PILOT, AND NOT TWO.
171
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:42,683
THANK YOU.
172
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:43,956
I DIDN'T WANT TO SEEM
173
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,260
A BIT OF AN OLD FUSSPOT
JUST NOW, YOU KNOW
174
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,859
BUT IT'S JUST AS EASY
TO GET THESE THINGS RIGHT
175
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,461
AS THEY ARE EASILY FOUND
IN THE BALPA HANDBOOK.
176
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:54,405
OH, ONE OTHER THING...
IN THE SHERLOCK HOLMES LAST WEEK
177
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,034
TOMMY COOPER TOLD A JOKE
ABOUT A CHARTER FLIGHT
178
00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:59,636
OMITTING TO POINT OUT
THAT ONE MUST BE A MEMBER
179
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,977
OF ANY ORGANIZATION
THAT CHARTERS A PLANE
180
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:03,879
FOR AT LEAST SIX
MONTHS BEFOREHAND
181
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:06,282
BEFORE BEING ABLE
TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT.
182
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,844
DID RATHER SPOIL THE JOKE
FOR ME, I'M AFRAID.
183
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,919
YES, AH, YES, YES.
184
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:15,485
MY WIFE HAS JUST REMINDED ME
THAT ON A RECENT HIGH CHAPARRAL
185
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,929
KATHY KIRBY WAS SINGING GLIBLY
ABOUT "FLY ME TO THE STARS"
186
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:22,526
WHEN, OF COURSE, THERE ARE NO
SCHEDULED FLIGHTS OF THIS KIND
187
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,503
OR EVEN CHARTERED,
AVAILABLE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC
188
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:26,835
AT THE PRESENT MOMENT.
189
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,841
ALTHOUGH, OF COURSE,
WHEN THEY ARE
190
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,775
BALPA WILL BE IN THE VANGUARD...
191
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,175
OR THE TRIDENT.
192
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,771
LITTLE JOKE FOR THE CHAPS
UP AT BALPA HOUSE.
193
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:36,372
UH, ONE OTHER SMALL POINT.
194
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,975
WHY IS IT THAT
THESE NEW LUREX DANCING TIGHTS
195
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:42,419
GO BAGGY AT THE KNEES AFTER
ONLY A COUPLE OF EVENINGS' FUN?
196
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,582
BRING BACK
THE OLD CANVAS ONES, I SAY.
197
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,148
IT IS INCREDIBLE, ISN'T IT
198
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,922
THAT IN THESE DAYS
WHEN MAN CAN WALK ON THE MOON
199
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:50,826
AND WORK OUT
THE MOST COMPLICATED
200
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,262
HIRE PURCHASE AGREEMENTS
201
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,391
I STILL GET
THESE TERRIBLE HEADACHES.
202
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,697
ALL RIGHT, I SEEM
TO HAVE WANDERED A BIT
203
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,067
BUT STILL, NO HARM DONE.
204
00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,196
JOLLY GOOD LUCK.
205
00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:03,541
ARE YOU GOING TO
BE IN THERE ALL DAY?
206
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:07,008
OTHER PEOPLE
WANT TO GO, YOU KNOW!
207
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,749
THE DOOR'S JAMMED,
IF YOU ASK ME.
208
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:12,648
AH! THAT'S BETTER.
209
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:13,650
OH, MY GOD.
210
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:14,913
AH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
211
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,649
I THOUGHT THIS
WAS THE BALLY TOILET.
212
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:19,654
THIS IS
THE CONTROL CABIN.
213
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:20,919
OH, I KNOW THAT.
214
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,951
I'M A FLYING MAN,
YOU KNOW, YES.
215
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:24,360
BALLY STUPID MISTAKE.
216
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,364
CLOUD'S HEAVY.
217
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,660
WHAT'S THE READING?
218
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,394
UH, 4.8... STEADY.
219
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,300
IF THEY HAD ALL THESE
DIALS IN THE TOILET
220
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,326
THERE WOULDN'T BE ROOM
221
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:33,804
FOR ANYTHING ELSE,
WOULD THERE?
222
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,670
HELLO, GENEVA, THIS
IS ROGER FIVE-O.
223
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,937
WHAT IS YOUR CLOUD READING?
HELLO, GENEVA.
224
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,809
I WOULDN'T FANCY
FLYING ONE OF THESE
225
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:41,972
SITTING ON THE TOILET.
226
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:43,481
I MEAN, IT'D
TAKE THE GLAMOUR
227
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,245
OUT OF BEING A PILOT,
WOULDN'T IT?
228
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,582
FLYING AROUND THE WORLD
SITTING ON A TOILET.
229
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,678
Geneva here.
230
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,914
4.9... heavy. Over.
231
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,184
SERIOUS?
232
00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:53,555
NO, NOT IF IT KEEPS
AT THAT LEVEL, NO.
233
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,651
MIND, MIND YOU
234
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,628
IF YOU DID FLY IT
FROM THE TOILET
235
00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:58,596
IT'D LEAVE
A LOT MORE SPACE UP HERE
236
00:09:58,631 --> 00:09:59,893
WOULDN'T IT?
237
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,400
WELL, I'D BETTER GET
BACK TO THE CABIN, THEN.
238
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,460
UH, SORRY ABOUT
THE SILLY INTRUSION.
239
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:05,663
BALLY STUPID.
240
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,037
THE DOOR'S JAMMED.
241
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,448
BALLY PIECE OF LUCK.
242
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,584
OH, HELLO.
243
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,357
EVERYTHING ALL
RIGHT AT THE BACK?
244
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,159
YES, THEY'RE
QUIET AS DORMICE.
245
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,392
DORMICE?
246
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,361
ALL RIGHT,
DON'T ANYBODY MOVE.
247
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,495
UH... EXCEPT TO CONTROL
THE AIRPLANE...
248
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:41,438
YOU CAN MOVE A LITTLE
TO DO THAT.
249
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,441
CAN I MOVE?
250
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,533
UH, YES, YES, YES.
251
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,043
YOU CAN MOVE
A LITTLE BIT, YES.
252
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,271
SORRY, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO BE
253
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,904
QUITE SO DOGMATIC
WHEN I CAME IN.
254
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:50,313
OBVIOUSLY, YOU CAN ALL
MOVE A LITTLE, WITHIN REASON.
255
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,544
THERE ARE CERTAIN
INVOLUNTARY MUSCULAR MOVEMENTS
256
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,576
THAT NO AMOUNT
OF SELF-CONTROL CAN PREVENT.
257
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,952
AND OBVIOUSLY, ANY ASSERTION
OF AUTHORITY ON MY PART...
258
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,581
I'VE GOT TO TAKE
THAT INTO ACCOUNT.
259
00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:00,285
RIGHT, I MEAN, ONE
COULDN'T, FOR EXAMPLE
260
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,657
STOP ONE'S INSIDES
FROM MOVING.
261
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:03,025
NO, NO... GOOD POINT,
GOOD POINT.
262
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,256
AND THE VERY FACT
THAT THE PLANE
263
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,263
IS CONTINUOUSLY VIBRATING
264
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,992
MEANS WE'RE ALL MOVING
TO A CERTAIN EXTENT.
265
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:08,591
AND WE'RE ALL
MOVING OUR LIPS
266
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:09,601
AREN'T WE?
267
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:10,602
YES, YES.
YES, YES
268
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:11,694
ABSOLUTELY.
269
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,466
NO, THE GIST
OF MY MEANING WAS
270
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,598
THAT SUDDEN, UH...
271
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,198
EXAGGERATED
MOVEMENTS!
272
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:20,303
EXAGGERATED, VIOLENT
MOVEMENTS ARE... ARE OUT.
273
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,711
WELL, THAT'S
THE GREAT THING
274
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,338
ABOUT THESE
MODERN AIRLINERS.
275
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:25,282
I MEAN, I CAN KEEP
THIS PLANE FLYING
276
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:26,944
WITH ONLY
THE SMALLEST MOVEMENT
277
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,284
AND PANCHO HERE DOESN'T
HAVE TO MOVE AT ALL.
278
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:30,720
OH, THAT'S MARVELOUS.
279
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,088
OOH, AND I DON'T REALLY
NEED TO MOVE EITHER
280
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:35,025
UNLESS I GET AN
ITCH OR SOMETHING.
281
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,462
WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
282
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:40,465
60% SUCCESS, EH?
283
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:42,968
60%, YEAH.
284
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:43,969
OH, DEAR.
285
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,437
ANYWAY, BEARING
ALL THAT IN MIND
286
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,737
WILL YOU FLY THIS PLANE
TO LUTON, PLEASE?
287
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:51,710
WELL, THIS IS
288
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,507
A SCHEDULED
FLIGHT TO CUBA.
289
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,638
I KNOW, I KNOW.
290
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,545
THAT'S RATHER
WHY I CAME IN HERE
291
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:58,709
WITH THAT POINT
ABOUT NOBODY MOVING.
292
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,241
OH, I SEE.
WITHIN REASON.
293
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,253
WITHIN REASON.
294
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,254
WITHIN REASON,
RIGHT.
295
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,312
YES, UM, YOU KNOW...
296
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:04,788
I WANT YOU
297
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,314
TO FLY THIS PLANE
TO LUTON!
298
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,518
PLEASE.
299
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,221
RIGHT, WELL,
I'D BETTER TURN
300
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:10,228
THE PLANE
ROUND THEN.
301
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,559
UH, STAND BY...
EMERGENCY SYSTEMS.
302
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,588
LOOK, I DON'T WANT
TO CAUSE ANY TROUBLE.
303
00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:15,361
NO, NO, WE'LL MANAGE,
WE'LL MANAGE.
304
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,891
I MEAN, NEAR LUTON
WILL DO, YOU KNOW.
305
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,426
HARPENDEN, DO YOU GO
NEAR HARPENDEN?
306
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,529
IT'S ON
THE FLIGHT PATH.
307
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,698
OKAY, WELL,
DROP ME OFF THERE.
308
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:21,704
I'LL GET A BUS
TO LUTON.
309
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:22,865
IT'S ONLY 25 MINUTES.
310
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,205
YOU CAN BE IN LUTON
BY LUNCHTIME.
311
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,210
WELL,
THAT'S SMASHING.
312
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:26,575
THERE'S NO AIRPORT
AT HARPENDEN.
313
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,204
OH, WELL, LOOK,
FORGET IT, FORGET IT.
314
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,373
I'LL COME TO CUBA
315
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,178
AND GET A FLIGHT BACK
TO LUTON FROM THERE.
316
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:32,684
WELL, WE COULD LEND
YOU A PARACHUTE.
317
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,515
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
I WOULDN'T DREAM OF IT.
318
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:35,611
I WOULDN'T DREAM OF IT...
319
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,087
DIRTYING A NICE,
CLEAN PARACHUTE.
320
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:38,090
I KNOW, I KNOW.
321
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:39,022
THERE'S
A BALE OF HAY
322
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:39,990
OUTSIDE BASINGSTOKE.
323
00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:40,992
WE COULD
THROW YOU OUT.
324
00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:42,118
WELL, IF IT'S ALL RIGHT.
325
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,128
SURE, YEAH.
YEAH!
326
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,129
NOT ANY TROUBLE?
327
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,130
NO, NONE AT ALL.
328
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:46,188
THAT'S MARVELOUS.
329
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:47,392
THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
330
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,866
SORRY TO COME
BARGING IN.
331
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:49,833
BYE-BYE.
332
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:50,927
THANK YOU.
333
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,460
BYE.
334
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,632
THANK... YOU!
335
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:16,220
TAKE THIS BUS TO CUBA.
336
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,116
FROM THESE GLENS AND SCARS
337
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:43,918
THE SOUND OF THE COOT AND
THE MOORHEN IS SELDOM ABSENT.
338
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:47,722
NATURE SITS IN STERN MASTERY
OVER THESE ROCKS AND CRAGS.
339
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,729
THE RUSH OF THE MOUNTAIN STREAM,
THE BLEAT OF THE SHEEP
340
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,733
AND THE BROAD, CLEAR HIGHLAND
SKIES REFLECTED IN TARN AND LOCH
341
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,735
FORM THE BREATHTAKING BACKDROP
342
00:13:57,803 --> 00:14:01,068
AGAINST WHICH EWAN McTEAGLE
WRITES SUCH POEMS
343
00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:04,007
AS "LEND US A QUID
TILL THE END OF THE WEEK."
344
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:09,206
BUT IT WAS WITH MORE SIMPLE,
HOMESPUN VERSES
345
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:12,979
THAT McTEAGLE'S UNIQUE STYLE
FIRST FLOWERED.
346
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,454
"IF YOU COULD SEE
YOUR WAY TO LENDING ME SIXPENCE
347
00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:18,456
"I COULD AT LEAST
BUY A NEWSPAPER.
348
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,355
THAT'S NOT MUCH TO ASK ANYONE."
349
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:23,657
ONE WOMAN WHO REMEMBERS
McTEAGLE AS A YOUNG FRIEND...
350
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,220
LASSIE O'SHEA.
351
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:31,230
OH... MR. McTEAGLE
WROTE ME TWO POEMS
352
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:35,297
BETWEEN THE MONTHS
OF JANUARY AND APRIL, 1969.
353
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,536
COULD YOU READ US ONE?
354
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:39,635
OCH, I DINNA
LIKE TO, THOUGH.
355
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,646
THEY WERE KIND OF PERSONAL...
356
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,170
BUT I WILL.
357
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,417
"TO MY OWN BELOVED LASSIE.
358
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:51,821
"A POEM ON HER 17th BIRTHDAY.
359
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:55,020
"LEND US A COUPLE OF BOB
TILL THURSDAY.
360
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,857
"I'M ABSOLUTELY SKINT.
361
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,955
"BUT I'M EXPECTING
A POSTAL ORDER
362
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:01,796
"AND I CAN PAY YOU BACK
AS SOON AS IT COMES.
363
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,961
LOVE, EWAN."
364
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,834
BEAUTIFUL.
365
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,875
SINCE THEN, McTEAGLE
HAS DEVELOPED AND WIDENED
366
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,438
HIS LITERARY SCOPE.
367
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,246
THREE YEARS AGO HE CONCERNED
HIMSELF WITH QUITE SMALL SUMS
368
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,617
QUICK BITS OF READY CASH...
SIXPENCES, SHILLINGS.
369
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,121
BUT MORE RECENTLY
370
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,521
HE HAS TURNED HIS EXTRAORDINARY
LITERARY PERCEPTION
371
00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:27,787
TO MUCH LARGER SUMS...
15 SHILLINGS, £4.12.6d...
372
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:29,293
EVEN NINE GUINEAS.
373
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:31,660
BUT THERE IS STILL NOTHING
TO MATCH THE HUGE SWEEP
374
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:34,291
THE MAJESTIC POWER OF WHAT IS
SURELY HIS GREATEST WORK:
375
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:37,700
"CAN I HAVE £50
TO MEND THE SHED?"
376
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:42,969
CAN I HAVE £50 TO MEND THE SHED?
377
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:46,171
I'M RIGHT ON MY UPPERS.
378
00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,008
I CAN PAY YOU BACK
379
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:52,416
WHEN THIS POSTAL ORDER COMES
FROM AUSTRALIA.
380
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,146
HONESTLY.
381
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:59,385
HOPE THE BLADDER TROUBLE'S
GETTING BETTER.
382
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:02,519
LOVE... EWAN.
383
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:11,491
THERE SEEMS TO BE NO END
TO McTEAGLE'S POETIC INVENTION.
384
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:14,938
"MY NEW CHECKBOOK
HASN'T ARRIVED" WAS FOLLOWED UP
385
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,033
BY THE BRILLIANTLY ALLEGORICAL
386
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,068
"WHAT'S 20 QUID
TO THE BLOODY MIDLAND BANK?"
387
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:22,672
AND MORE RECENTLY
HIS PRIZEWINNING POEM
388
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:26,239
"CAN YOU LEND ME 1,000 QUID?"
389
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:33,419
I THINK WHAT McTEAGLE'S
POTTERY... POETRY IS DOING
390
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:39,694
IS REJECTING ALL THE TRADITIONAL
CLICHES OF MODERN POTTERY.
391
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,700
NO LONGER DO WE HAVE
TO BE CONTENT
392
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:45,033
WITH KEATS'S "SEASONS OF MISTS
AND MELLOW FRUITFULNESS"
393
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,595
WORDSWORTH'S "I WANDERED
LONELY AS A CLOUD"
394
00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:50,836
AND MILTON'S "CAN YOU LEND US
TWO BOB TILL TUESDAY?"
395
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:54,573
"OH, GIE TO ME
A SHILLIN' FOR SOME FAGS
396
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,241
"AND I'LL PAY YER BACK
ON THURSDAY
397
00:16:57,282 --> 00:16:59,842
"BUT IF YOU CAN WAIT
TILL SATURDAY
398
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:04,481
I'M EXPECTING A DIVVY FROM
THE HARPENDEN BUILDING SOCIETY."
399
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,514
OH, SOD 'EM.
400
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:13,190
...WORKING MY FINGERS
TO THE BONE...
401
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,983
AS A HIGHLANDER,
I WOULD LIKE TO COMPLAIN
402
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:39,616
ABOUT SOME INACCURACIES
IN THE PRECEDING FILM
403
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:42,024
ABOUT THE POET EWAN McTEAGLE.
404
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:45,053
ALTHOUGH HIS NAME WAS QUITE
CLEARLY GIVEN AS McTEAGLE
405
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,657
HE WAS THROUGHOUT WEARING
THE CAMERON TARTAN.
406
00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:50,827
ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT
THAT THE BALPA SPOKESMAN
407
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:53,463
WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT
AERONAUTICAL INACCURACIES
408
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:55,473
WAS HIMSELF WEARING
A CAPTAIN'S HAT
409
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,702
WHEREAS HE ONLY
HAD LIEUTENANT'S STRIPES
410
00:17:57,776 --> 00:17:59,471
ON THE SLEEVES OF HIS JACKET.
411
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:03,003
ALSO, IN THE INVERNESS
PANTOMIME LAST CHRISTMAS
412
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:07,644
THE PART OF PUSS IN BOOTS WAS
PLAYED BY A NATIVE OF NEW GUINEA
413
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,244
WITH A PLATE IN HER LIP...
414
00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,415
SO THAT EVERY TIME
415
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:13,186
DICK WHITTINGTON
GAVE HER A FRENCH KISS
416
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,920
HE GOT THE BACK
OF HIS THROAT SCRAPED.
417
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,755
LOOK, WOULD YOU MIND GOING AWAY?
418
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:19,423
I'M TRYING TO EXAMINE THIS MAN.
419
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,666
IT'S, UH... IT'S ALL RIGHT.
420
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,931
I... I AM A DOCTOR.
421
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,003
ACTUALLY, I'M A GYNECOLOGIST,
BUT THIS IS MY LUNCH HOUR.
422
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:40,582
I HAVE A NASTY FEELING
I AM SOMEBODY'S LUNCH HOUR.
423
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:59,268
ACTUALLY, I FIND VIOLENCE
EXTREMELY DISTASTEFUL...
424
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,671
ONLY IT WAS THE ONLY PART
OFFERED, AND I NEED THE WORK.
425
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,666
PAT-A-CAKE, PAT-A-CAKE,
BAKER'S MAN.
426
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,696
GOOD MORNING, MADAM,
I'M A PSYCHIATRIST.
427
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,206
YOU LOOK LIKE
A MILKMAN TO ME.
428
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,267
GOOD. I AM IN FACT
DRESSED AS A MILKMAN.
429
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:13,710
YOU SPOTTED THAT...
WELL DONE.
430
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:14,710
GO AWAY.
431
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:16,542
I'M GOING TO SHOW
YOU THREE NUMBERS
432
00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:17,708
AND I WANT YOU
TO TELL ME
433
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,807
IF YOU SEE ANY SIMILARITY
BETWEEN THEM.
434
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,087
THEY'RE ALL NUMBER THREE.
435
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:27,284
NO. TRY AGAIN.
436
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:30,425
THEY'RE ALL NUMBER THREE?
437
00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:32,293
NO. THEY'RE ALL NUMBER THREE.
438
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,128
RIGHT, NOW, I'M
GOING TO SAY A WORD
439
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,326
AND I WANT YOU TO SAY
440
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,631
THE FIRST THING
THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD.
441
00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:39,102
HOW MANY PINTS
DO YOU WANT?
442
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:41,230
UH... THREE?
443
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,501
YOGURT?
NO.
444
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:43,166
CREAM?
NO.
445
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:44,197
EGGS?
NO.
446
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,301
YOU'RE QUITE
CLEARLY SUFFERING
447
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,834
FROM A REPRESSIVE
LIBIDO COMPLEX
448
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:48,402
PROBABLY THE RESULT
OF A PRODUCT
449
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:49,607
OF AN UNHAPPY CHILDHOOD
450
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:51,741
COUPLED WITH ACUTE
INSECURITY IN ADOLESCENCE
451
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,011
WHICH HAS RESULTED
452
00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:54,882
IN AN ATTENUATION
OF THE LIBIDO COMPLEX.
453
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,012
YOU ARE A BLOODY MILKMAN!
454
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:57,612
DON'T YOU SHOUT AT ME, MADAM.
455
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:58,714
DON'T COME THAT TONE.
456
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,054
NOW THEN, I MUST ASK YOU
457
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,821
TO ACCOMPANY ME DOWN
TO THE DAIRY
458
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,452
AND DO SOME APTITUDE TESTS.
459
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:06,521
I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO
THAN COME DOWN TO THE DAIRY.
460
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,795
MRS. RATBAG, IF YOU
DON'T MIND ME SAYING SO
461
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,199
YOU ARE BADLY IN NEED
462
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:12,703
OF AN EXPENSIVE COURSE
OF PSYCHIATRIC TREATMENT.
463
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,171
NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO SAY
464
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,071
A TRIP TO OUR DAIRY
WILL CURE YOU
465
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,804
BUT IT WILL GIVE HUNDREDS
OF LOWER-PAID WORKERS
466
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:19,970
A GOOD LAUGH.
467
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,207
ALL RIGHT, BUT HOW
AM I GOING TO GET HOME?
468
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:23,646
I'LL RUN YOU
THERE AND BACK
469
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,081
ON MY PSYCHIATRIST'S
FLOAT.
470
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,744
ALL RIGHT.
471
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:47,265
WHAT ARE ALL THOSE?
472
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,501
THEY'RE CASE HISTORIES.
473
00:21:58,116 --> 00:22:00,050
PSYCHIATRISTS!
474
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:02,645
PSYCHIATRISTS! PSYCHIATRISTS!
475
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,024
YES, SIR?
476
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,025
GOOD MORNING.
477
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,287
AFRAID OUR REGULAR
PSYCHIATRIST
478
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,521
HASN'T COME ROUND
THIS MORNING
479
00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:10,687
AND I'VE GOT
AN EGO BLOCK
480
00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:12,696
WHICH IS IN TURN MAKING
MY WIFE OVER-ASSERTIVE
481
00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:15,029
AND GETTING US BOTH INTO A
STATE OF DEPRESSIVE NEUROSIS.
482
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,125
I SEE, SIR,
WHO'S YOUR REGULAR?
483
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,102
JERSEY CREAM PSYCHIATRISTS.
484
00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:19,364
OH, YES, I KNOW THEM.
485
00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,668
RIGHT, WELL, UH...
WHAT'S YOUR JOB, THEN?
486
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:22,435
I'M A DOCTOR.
487
00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:25,640
DIDN'T I SEE YOU JUST NOW
UNDER A SCOTSMAN?
488
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:28,908
YES, BUT I AM A DOCTOR.
489
00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:31,575
ACTUALLY, I'M A GYNECOLOGIST
BUT THAT WAS MY LUNCH HOUR.
490
00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:34,483
WHAT DOES THIS
REMIND YOU OF?
491
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:35,850
TWO PINTS OF CREAM?
492
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:36,979
RIGHT. I SHOULD
DEFINITELY SAY
493
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,216
YOU'RE SUFFERING
494
00:22:38,256 --> 00:22:39,814
FROM SEVERE PERSONALITY
DISORDER, SIR
495
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:41,485
SUBLIMATING ITSELF
IN A LACTIC OBSESSION
496
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:42,618
WHICH COULD GET WORSE
497
00:22:42,661 --> 00:22:44,128
DEPENDING ON HOW
MUCH MONEY YOU'VE GOT.
498
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:45,527
YES, YES, I SEE.
499
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,964
AND A POT
OF YOGURT, PLEASE.
500
00:22:47,999 --> 00:22:49,899
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY
501
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:52,460
OF COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WAY
IN WHICH THESE SHOWS
502
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:54,563
ARE CONTINUALLY PORTRAYING
PSYCHIATRISTS
503
00:22:54,606 --> 00:22:56,870
WHO MAKE PAT DIAGNOSES
OF PATIENTS' PROBLEMS
504
00:22:56,908 --> 00:22:59,570
WITHOUT FIRST OBTAINING
THEIR FULL MEDICAL HISTORY.
505
00:22:59,611 --> 00:23:01,636
MIND YOU, THAT'S JUST
A PAT DIAGNOSIS
506
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,877
MADE WITHOUT FIRST OBTAINING
YOUR FULL MEDICAL HISTORY.
507
00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:07,111
I FEEL THE TIME HAS COME
TO COMPLAIN ABOUT PEOPLE
508
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:08,642
WHO MAKE RASH COMPLAINTS
509
00:23:08,687 --> 00:23:11,178
WITHOUT FIRST MAKING SURE THAT
THOSE COMPLAINTS ARE JUSTIFIED.
510
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,884
ARE YOU REFERRING TO ME?
511
00:23:12,924 --> 00:23:14,050
NOT NECESSARILY.
512
00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:15,650
HOWEVER, I WOULD LIKE
TO POINT OUT
513
00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:17,457
THAT THE BALPA SPOKESMAN
WAS WEARING
514
00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:20,693
THE BRITISH PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION
DINNER DANCE CLUB CUFF LINKS.
515
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:22,495
YES, I NOTICED THAT, TOO.
516
00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:26,163
THESE ARE NOT BRITISH PSYCHIATRIC
ASSOCIATION DINNER DANCE CLUB CUFF LINKS.
517
00:23:26,204 --> 00:23:27,193
SORRY.
518
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,228
THEY ARE, IN FACT
519
00:23:28,273 --> 00:23:29,706
BRITISH SUGAR CORPORATION
520
00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:32,208
GILBERT AND SULLIVAN
SOCIETY CUFF LINKS.
521
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,712
IT IS IN FACT A SORT OF IN-JOKE
WITH US LADS HERE AT BALPA.
522
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,112
I THINK THE LAST SPEAKER
SHOULD HAVE CHECKED HIS FACTS
523
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:38,707
BEFORE MAKING
HIS OWN RASH COMPLAINT.
524
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,217
YEAH, THAT'LL TEACH HIM.
525
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,083
HOWEVER, I WOULD JUST LIKE
TO ADD A COMPLAINT
526
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,213
ABOUT SHOWS WHICH HAVE
TOO MANY COMPLAINTS IN THEM
527
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,247
AS THEY GET VERY TEDIOUS
FOR THE AVERAGE VIEWER.
528
00:23:46,291 --> 00:23:47,258
I'D LIKE TO COMPLAIN
529
00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:48,520
ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HOLD THINGS UP
530
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,118
BY COMPLAINING
ABOUT PEOPLE COMPLAINING.
531
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:51,925
IT'S ABOUT TIME
SOMETHING WAS DONE ABOUT IT.
532
00:23:55,534 --> 00:23:58,002
NURSE! WOULD YOU
TAKE MRS. PIM
533
00:23:58,036 --> 00:24:00,027
TO SEE DR. CREAM,
PLEASE?
534
00:24:00,071 --> 00:24:01,265
CERTAINLY, DOCTOR.
535
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:02,830
WALK THIS WAY, PLEASE.
536
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,535
OH, IF I COULD
WALK THAT WAY, I...
537
00:24:13,485 --> 00:24:15,214
MRS. PIM TO SEE YOU,
DR. CREAM.
538
00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:16,777
I JUST WANT ANOTHER
FIVE MINUTES WITH AUDREY.
539
00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:17,789
COULD YOU SHOW MRS. PIM
540
00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:18,812
INTO THE WAITING
ROOM, PLEASE?
541
00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:20,017
YES, DOCTOR.
542
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,259
RIGHT, AUDREY, WHEN DID
YOU FIRST START THINKING
543
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,353
YOU WERE A COW?
544
00:24:47,719 --> 00:24:49,653
"JEEZ, MR. BELPIT
545
00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:50,882
YOUR LEGS IS ALL SWOLLEN."
546
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:16,842
"OI! MR. BELPIT...
547
00:25:16,882 --> 00:25:21,410
YOUR GREAT LEGS
IS ALL SWOLLEN!"
548
00:25:21,453 --> 00:25:25,446
"AH! MR. BELPIT
549
00:25:25,490 --> 00:25:28,152
YOUR LEGS ARE ALL SWOLLEN!"
550
00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:38,436
GOOD EVENING.
551
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:39,664
TONIGHT ON IT'S THE MIND
552
00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:41,501
WE EXAMINE
THE PHENOMENON OF DEJA VU...
553
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:43,371
THAT STRANGE FEELING
WE SOMETIMES GET
554
00:25:43,408 --> 00:25:45,467
THAT WE'VE LIVED
THROUGH SOMETHING BEFORE
555
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:47,944
THAT WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW
HAS ALREADY HAPPENED.
556
00:25:47,979 --> 00:25:49,173
TONIGHT ON IT'S THE MIND
557
00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:51,011
WE EXAMINE
THE PHENOMENON OF DEJA VU
558
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:52,914
THAT STRANGE FEELING
WE SOMETIMES GET
559
00:25:52,951 --> 00:25:53,975
THAT WE'VE LIVED...
560
00:25:58,723 --> 00:26:00,418
ANYWAY, TONIGHT ON IT'S THE MIND
561
00:26:00,458 --> 00:26:02,289
WE EXAMINE
THE PHENOMENON OF DEJA VU
562
00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:03,385
THAT STRANGE...
563
00:26:13,171 --> 00:26:14,138
GOOD EVENING.
564
00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:15,503
TONIGHT ON IT'S THE MIND
565
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:17,474
WE EXAMINE
THE PHENOMENON OF DEJA VU
566
00:26:17,509 --> 00:26:19,443
THAT STRANGE FEELING
WE SOMETIM...
567
00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:26,379
...MES GET...
568
00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:27,783
THAT...
569
00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:29,582
WE'VE LIVED THROUGH SOMETHING...
570
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:42,089
GOOD... GOOD EVENING.
571
00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:43,998
TONIGHT ON IT'S THE MIND
572
00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:49,996
WE EXAMINE THE PHENOMENON
OF D-D-D-D-D-DEJA V-V-V-VU
573
00:26:50,041 --> 00:26:53,977
THAT EXTRAORDINARY FEELING...
574
00:26:54,012 --> 00:26:55,104
QUITE EXTRAORDINARY...
575
00:26:57,849 --> 00:26:59,783
NO, FINE, THANKS, FINE.
576
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,350
OH, THANK YOU.
577
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:09,359
THAT STRANGE FEELING
WE SOMETIMES GET
578
00:27:09,394 --> 00:27:11,589
THAT WE'VE LIVED
THROUGH SOMETHING BEFORE.
579
00:27:13,698 --> 00:27:15,427
NO, FINE, THANK YOU. FINE.
580
00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:22,938
THANK YOU.
581
00:27:25,543 --> 00:27:26,942
THAT STRANGE FEELING...
582
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:30,206
NO. FINE, THANK YOU. FINE.
583
00:27:30,248 --> 00:27:31,215
THANK YOU.
584
00:27:32,417 --> 00:27:34,112
LOOK, SOMETHING'S
HAPPENING TO ME.
585
00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:36,677
I... UM... I THINK
I'D BETTER GO AND SEE SOMEONE.
586
00:27:36,721 --> 00:27:38,211
GOODNIGHT.
587
00:27:45,030 --> 00:27:46,588
WAIT! HEY!
588
00:27:50,869 --> 00:27:52,837
OI, HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU
SOMEWHERE BEFORE?
589
00:27:52,871 --> 00:27:54,031
NO, DOCTOR, NO.
590
00:27:54,072 --> 00:27:57,200
SOMETHING VERY FUNNY'S
HAPPENING TO ME.
591
00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:09,882
HEY!
592
00:28:13,725 --> 00:28:16,057
OI, HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU
SOMEWHERE BEFORE?
593
00:28:16,094 --> 00:28:17,425
NO, DOCTOR, NO.
594
00:28:17,462 --> 00:28:19,828
SOMETHING VERY FUNNY'S
HAPPENING TO ME.
595
00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:26,826
"OH, MR. BELPIT,
YOUR LEGS ARE SO SWOLLEN."
596
00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:51,187
AH, COME IN.
597
00:28:51,229 --> 00:28:53,094
NOW, WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE MATTER?
598
00:28:53,131 --> 00:28:55,565
I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE
FEELING OF DEJA VU.
599
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:09,569
AH, COME IN.
600
00:29:09,614 --> 00:29:11,639
NOW, WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE MATTER?
601
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:14,344
I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE
FEELING OF DEJA VU.
602
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:32,061
AH, COME IN.
603
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:34,264
NOW, WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE MATTER?
604
00:29:34,305 --> 00:29:36,899
I HAVE THIS TERRIBLE
FEELING OF DEJA VU.
605
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll