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Monty Python's Flying Circus
tonight comes to you live
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from the Grillomat Snack Bar,
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Paignton.
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Hello to you,
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live from the Grillomat
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Snack Bar, Paignton.
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And so, uh, without any more
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ado, let's have the titles.
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It's...
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[♪]
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ANNOUNCER:
Monty Python's Flying Circus.
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Well, those were
the titles.
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And now for the first item
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this evening on the menu...
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[CHUCKLES]
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...the team has chosen
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as a little hors d'oeuvre
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an item, and I think
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we can be sure
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it won't be
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an ordinary item.
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In fact, the team told me
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just before the show
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that anything could happen
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and probably would.
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[CHUCKLES]
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So let's have
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the item.
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[♪]
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Hello, good evening,
and welcome to Blackmail.
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And to start tonight's
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program,
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we go north to Preston
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in Lancashire
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and Mrs. Betty Teal.
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Hello, Mrs. Teal.
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Now this is for £15,
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and it's to stop us revealing
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the name of your lover
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in Bolton.
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So, Mrs. Teal,
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send us £15 by return
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of post, please,
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and your husband Trevor,
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and your lovely children,
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Diane, Janice and Juliet,
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need never know the name
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of your lover in Bolton.
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[PLAYS ORGAN]
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And now a letter...
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a hotel registration book
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and a series of photographs,
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which could add up to divorce,
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premature retirement
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and possible
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criminal proceedings
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for a company director
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in Bromsgrove.
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He's a Freemason
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and a prospective Tory MP.
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That's Mr. S. of Bromsgrove.
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Three thousand pounds, please,
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to stop us revealing
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your name,
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the name of the three
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other people involved,
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the youth organization
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to which they belong,
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and the shop where you bought
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the equipment.
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[PLAYS ORGAN]
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We'll be showing you more
of that photograph
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later in the program...
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unless we hear
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from Charles or Michael.
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And now it's time
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for our "Stop the Film" spot.
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The rules are very simple.
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We have taken a film which
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contains compromising scenes
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and unpleasant details, which
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could wreck a man's career.
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But the victim may phone me at
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any point and stop the film.
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But remember, the money
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increases as the film goes on.
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So the longer you leave it,
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the more you have to pay.
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So now, with the clock
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at £300,
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this week, "Stop the Film"
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visited Thames Ditton.
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[♪]
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He's really brave here.
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[PHONE RINGING]
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Hello, sir. Hello, yes.
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No sir, no,
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I'm sure you didn't. Heh.
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No, it's all right, sir,
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we don't morally censure,
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we just want the money.
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Yes, and here's the address
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to send it to:
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ANNOUNCER:
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Not at all, sir. Thank you.
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[CHATTER]
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Ah. Sorr-- Sorry chaps,
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it was my mother.
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Ah.
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Ah, gentlemen, pray silence,
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for the President
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of the Royal Society
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for Putting Things
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on Top of Other Things.
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[APPLAUSE]
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[CLEARS THROAT]
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I thank you, gentlemen.
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The year has been a good one
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for the society.
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[MEN CHATTERING]
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This year, our members
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have put more things on top
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of other things
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than ever before.
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[CROWD MURMURING]
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But I should warn you...
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this is no time
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for complacency.
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No. There are still
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many things--
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and I cannot emphasize
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this too strongly--
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not on top of other things.
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[CROWD MURMURS]
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I, myself, on my way here
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this evening, saw a thing
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that was not on top
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of another thing in any way.
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ALL:
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Shame! Shame!
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Shame indeed.
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But we must not
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allow ourselves
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to become too despondent.
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For we must never forget
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that if there was not
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one thing
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that was not on top
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of another thing,
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our society would be
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nothing more
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than a meaningless
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body of men
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that gathered together
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for no good purpose.
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[CROWD MURMURING]
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Bravo, bravo.
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But we flourish.
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This year,
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our Australasian members
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and the various organizations
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affiliated
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to our Australasian branches,
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put no fewer than 22 things
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on top of other things.
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[EXCITED CHATTER, APPLAUSE]
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Well done. All of you.
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[CROWD MURMURING]
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But there is one cloud
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on the horizon.
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In this last year,
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our Staffordshire branch
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has not succeeded in putting
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one thing on top of another.
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ALL: Shame! Shame!
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Therefore--
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Therefore, I call upon
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our Staffordshire delegate
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to explain this
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weird behavior.
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[CROWD MURMURING]
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Indeed. Indeed.
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[CLEARS THROAT]
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Cutler, Staffordshire.
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Um... well, Mr. Chairman,
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it's just that most of
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the members in Staffordshire
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feel... whole thing's
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a bit silly.
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ALL: Silly?
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[CROWD MURMURING]
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Silly?!
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I suppose
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it is a bit.
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What have we been doing
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wasting our lives
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with all this
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nonsense?
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Right. Okay.
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Meeting adjourned forever.
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Here, here.
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[CHATTER]
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[SIGHS]
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Good Lord.
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I'm on film.
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How did that happen?
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[CHATTER]
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It's film again.
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What's going on?
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Gentlemen, I have bad news.
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This room is surrounded
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by film.
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ALL: What? What?
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We're--
We're trapped!
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Don't panic.
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We'll get out of this.
How?
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We'll tunnel our way out.
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Good thinking, sir.
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I'll get the horse.
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Okay, Captain. You detail
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three men, start digging,
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and load them up with cutlery.
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Sir.
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And then we'll have a rota.
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We'll have two hours digging,
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two hours vaulting and then
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two hours sleeping, okay?
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All right, Medwin, let's see
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you get over that horse.
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Pick your feet up, Medwin.
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Come on, boy!
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Stupid English.
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They are prisoners,
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and all they do is the sport.
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One thing
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worries me, Fritz.
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Yeah?
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Where's the traditional cheeky
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and lovable Cockney sergeant?
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Cheer up, Fritz,
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it may never happen.
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ALL:
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♪ Maybe it's because
I'm a Londoner ♪
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Good. Everything seems
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to be in order.
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♪ That I love London so ♪
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Colonel. I've just found
another exit, sir.
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Okay. Quickly,
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run this way.
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ALL:
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If we could run that way--
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Sorry.
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[GRUNTING]
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[ALL YELLING]
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[ALL YELLING]
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[ALL GRUNT]
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[ALL GRUNTING]
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[CHATTERING]
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[BELCHES]
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Oh, I'm-- I'm terribly sorry.
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Excuse me.
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[TOILET FLUSHES]
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Ah.
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Hello. Um,
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well, they certainly
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seem to be in a tight spot,
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and I spot
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our next item.
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So let's get straight on
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with the fun
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and go over to
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the next item,
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or dish.
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[LAUGHS]
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Hello. How are you?
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I'm fine. Welcome to a new
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half-hour chat show
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in which me, viz the man
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what's talking to you now,
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and Brooky, to wit,
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my flatmate and nothing else--
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I'd like to
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emphasize that--
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discuss current affairs
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issues of burning import.
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Have you heard the one
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about the three nuns
in the nudist colony?
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Shut up. Tonight,
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the population explosion.
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There were these three nuns--
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Shut up.
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Come the year 1991,
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given the present
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rate of increase
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in the world's
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population,
297
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,120
the Chinese will be
298
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:06,120
three deep.
299
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,959
Another thing--
300
00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:07,959
Sorry, love, sorry.
301
00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:10,520
The show is too long this week,
302
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:10,520
and this scene's been cut.
303
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,120
Lord Hill's at
304
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:12,120
the bottom of this.
305
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,680
But if you can find
306
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:13,680
a piano stool,
307
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,959
you can appear later on
308
00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:15,959
on the show in film.
309
00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:17,920
How much?
310
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:17,920
Oh, about ten bob each?
311
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,720
I wouldn't wipe
312
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:19,720
me nose on it.
313
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,160
Have you heard the one about
314
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:22,160
these three nuns?
Shh.
315
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,319
I can hear something.
316
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:27,640
Hang about. We may still
317
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:27,640
get in this show as a link.
318
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,319
[GRUNTING, YELLING]
319
00:10:29,319 --> 00:10:31,319
That's clever.
320
00:10:31,319 --> 00:10:31,319
How do they do that?
321
00:10:31,319 --> 00:10:33,360
Color separation,
322
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:33,360
you cottonhead.
323
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,079
[ALL YELLING]
324
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,079
[BELCHES]
325
00:10:40,079 --> 00:10:41,520
[ALL YELLING]
326
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,120
MAN 1:
What's all this?
327
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,839
MAN 2:
328
00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:47,839
Some sort of lever.
329
00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:49,439
MAN 3: Lever? Well, pull it.
330
00:10:49,439 --> 00:10:49,439
MAN 2: Pull the lever.
331
00:10:49,439 --> 00:10:51,199
MAN 4: Come on, pull it.
332
00:10:51,199 --> 00:10:53,240
[ALL CHATTERING]
333
00:10:55,079 --> 00:10:56,640
MAN 2:
No, that's not right.
334
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,120
That's got it.
335
00:11:01,839 --> 00:11:03,319
Oh. What's this?
336
00:11:03,319 --> 00:11:04,839
[PLAYING DRUMS]
337
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,000
[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
So, British pig,
we meet again.
338
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,600
What?
339
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,199
[ALL GASP]
340
00:11:20,199 --> 00:11:22,120
That bitch!
341
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,600
He spilled the entire bottle
342
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:24,600
of Chateau Latour.
343
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,760
Everything.
344
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:27,760
It's a disaster!
345
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,800
Yeah.
346
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,600
BOOMING VOICE:
347
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,280
Shut up, the lot of you!
348
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,160
Over here,
Sir William.
349
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,240
Sir William, over here.
350
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:38,240
Over here.
351
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,120
BOOMING VOICE:
352
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:40,120
Now stay there.
353
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,680
[THUNDER CRASHING]
354
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,400
What are we gonna do now?
355
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:43,400
I don't know.
356
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,280
How are we going
357
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:45,280
to get out of this?
No idea.
358
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,560
Well, what shall
359
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:46,560
we do?
360
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,160
VOICES:
361
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:49,160
Don't jump! Don't jump!
362
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,880
ALL:
363
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:50,880
What?
364
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,680
ALL:
365
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:53,680
Please don't jump!
Think of the little ones!
366
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,199
ALL:
367
00:11:55,199 --> 00:11:55,199
We weren't going to jump.
368
00:11:55,199 --> 00:11:58,520
ALL: Don't jump!
369
00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:58,520
The fire brigade's coming!
370
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,280
ALL: What?
371
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:00,280
[SIREN WAILING]
372
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,560
ALL:
373
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,896
Don't jump! Don't jump!
374
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,480
[ALL SCREAMING]
375
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,040
My God,
376
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,400
he's coming back!
377
00:12:08,839 --> 00:12:11,680
Well, they seem to be
in another tight spot.
378
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,959
[CHATTERING LOUDLY]
379
00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:16,120
Um-- Could you--?
380
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:16,120
Could you--?
381
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,680
Could you keep it down
382
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:17,680
a little, please.
383
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,560
Thank you so much. And--
384
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:19,560
[CHATTERING LOUDLY]
385
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,120
Could you keep it down--
386
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:22,120
Down, please?
387
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,199
Thank you.
388
00:12:24,199 --> 00:12:26,600
Well, and now
389
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:26,600
we move on to our--
390
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,360
to our main course:
391
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,719
uh, prawn salad.
392
00:12:29,719 --> 00:12:31,000
Prawn salad?
393
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,760
Well, if you'll just
wait in here, sir,
394
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,959
I'm sure Mr. Thompson
395
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:47,959
won't keep you waiting long.
396
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:50,000
Fine. Thanks very much.
397
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,079
[DOOR CLOSES]
398
00:13:00,199 --> 00:13:04,120
Uh-- The, uh, mirror
fell off the wall.
399
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,680
Sir?
400
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,360
Uh, the mirror fell off--
401
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:09,360
Off-- Off the wall. It fell.
402
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:10,839
I see.
403
00:13:10,839 --> 00:13:13,560
You'd better wait here.
404
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,920
I'll get a cloth.
405
00:13:23,439 --> 00:13:26,360
Uh, i-it came off the wall.
Yes, sir?
406
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,680
It just came
407
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:28,680
right off the wall.
408
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:29,880
Really, sir?
409
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,040
Yes. I--
410
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:33,040
I didn't touch it.
411
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,719
Of course not.
412
00:13:35,719 --> 00:13:35,719
It just fell off the wall.
413
00:13:35,719 --> 00:13:39,319
Yes, i-it just
414
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:39,319
fell off the wall.
415
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,120
Don't move.
416
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:42,120
I'll get help.
417
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,719
Yes. Uh...
418
00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:45,959
Fell off the wall.
419
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:52,880
Oh, my God!
What a mess!
420
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,199
Here,
421
00:13:54,199 --> 00:13:54,199
did you do this?
422
00:13:54,199 --> 00:13:56,079
Uh, no. No,
423
00:13:56,079 --> 00:13:56,079
I didn't do all this.
424
00:13:56,079 --> 00:13:59,040
Uh, it-it did it all.
425
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,839
Oh. Well...
426
00:14:01,839 --> 00:14:03,800
Here. Hold this.
427
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,920
I'll get started.
428
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,719
Oh. It's jolly nice.
429
00:14:08,719 --> 00:14:08,719
What is it?
430
00:14:08,719 --> 00:14:11,599
Hmm? Oh, it's
431
00:14:11,599 --> 00:14:11,599
a Brazilian dagger.
432
00:14:11,599 --> 00:14:13,520
Oops! Oh!
433
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,079
[SQUEALING]
434
00:14:25,319 --> 00:14:27,079
[DOOR CREAKS]
435
00:14:27,079 --> 00:14:28,319
Oh. Oh.
436
00:14:28,319 --> 00:14:31,000
Uh, sh-- She just,
437
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:31,000
uh, fell, uh,
438
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,640
on-- onto the--
439
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:32,640
the dagger.
440
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,719
Yes, of course
441
00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:34,719
she did, sir.
442
00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:37,400
Yeah, s-she just
443
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:37,400
g-gave me the dagger
444
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,000
and tripped,
445
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:39,000
and went, "Oops."
446
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,640
Oh, yes, sir. I understand.
447
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,040
You know, I mean,
448
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:42,040
I didn't--
449
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,400
Oh, no, of course not, sir.
450
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:44,400
I-- I understand.
451
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,719
I mean, she--
452
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:45,719
She just, uh--
453
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,599
She just fell?
454
00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:47,599
Fell.
455
00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:49,839
[SCREAMS]
456
00:14:49,839 --> 00:14:51,240
[CRASHING]
457
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,240
Terribly sorry.
458
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,360
That's him.
459
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:56,360
Right, sir.
460
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,640
Oh, hello,
461
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:57,640
Officer.
462
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,839
Um, there seems to
463
00:14:59,839 --> 00:14:59,839
have been an accident.
464
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:02,599
Well, uh, s-several
465
00:15:02,599 --> 00:15:02,599
accidents actually.
466
00:15:02,599 --> 00:15:05,000
That's right, sir. Would you
467
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:05,000
come this way, please?
468
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,880
[GASPING]
469
00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:11,000
It's me--
me heart, sir.
470
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,680
[GASPS]
471
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,640
You swine!
I'll get you for that.
472
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,680
Uh... I won't wait.
473
00:15:28,079 --> 00:15:29,520
I'll phone.
474
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,479
[RUMBLING]
475
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,400
Sorry.
476
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,040
[MUTTERING]
477
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:52,040
Did we get out?
478
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,439
Well, I think we're
479
00:15:53,439 --> 00:15:53,439
really out this time.
480
00:15:53,439 --> 00:15:54,680
Yeah?
481
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:54,680
Oh, jolly good.
482
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,240
Now, where's
483
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:56,240
the school hall?
484
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,560
I think
485
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:57,560
it's over there.
486
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,400
Come on.
487
00:15:59,400 --> 00:15:59,400
Right. Come on.
488
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,560
Fine.
489
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,240
Very good.
490
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,839
[MUTTERING]
491
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:09,160
♪ Oh, Mr. Belpit ♪
492
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:13,560
♪ Your legs are so swollen ♪
493
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,680
Excuse me.
494
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:16,680
Is-- Is that the school hall?
495
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,959
Um, I'm sorry, I don't know.
496
00:16:18,959 --> 00:16:18,959
I'm not in this one.
497
00:16:18,959 --> 00:16:20,839
I-- I'm in next week's,
498
00:16:20,839 --> 00:16:20,839
I think.
499
00:16:20,839 --> 00:16:23,240
Oh. Come on.
500
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,520
[FLAMBOYANT ACCENT]
501
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:25,520
Oh, Mr. Belpit!
502
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,199
Oh, here we are.
503
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,959
Ah, well, they seem to have
linked that themselves.
504
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:36,040
So there's no need for me
505
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:36,040
to interrupt at all.
506
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,479
[CHUCKLING]
507
00:16:38,479 --> 00:16:41,280
So, uh, back to
508
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,560
the school hall.
509
00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:54,319
[PLAYS SHOW TUNE]
510
00:17:12,159 --> 00:17:15,680
MAN:
Seven Brides
for Seven Brothers.
511
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,919
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
512
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:28,159
'Tis time the seven
Smith brothers had brides.
513
00:17:28,159 --> 00:17:31,720
Fetch me Smith, Major.
514
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:35,800
Sir.
515
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:39,520
'Tis time you and your six
516
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:39,520
brothers were married.
517
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,600
Thank you, headmaster.
518
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,480
Fetch me your six brothers,
519
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,680
that the seven brothers
520
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:46,680
may be together.
521
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,399
[DINGING]
522
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:59,720
ALL:
Behold, the seven brothers.
523
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,040
Right, I'll see Watson,
524
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:02,040
Wilkins and Spratt
525
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,000
in my study afterwards.
526
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,080
But...
527
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,960
But where shall we find
528
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,600
seven brides
529
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:13,600
for seven brothers?
530
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,240
The Sabine School
531
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:16,240
for Girls.
532
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,600
Yes, and it's
533
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:19,600
the Annual Dance.
534
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,320
Fetch hither the seven brides
535
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,840
for seven brothers.
536
00:18:25,919 --> 00:18:29,840
BOTH:
Behold the seven brides.
537
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,960
Fetch hither
538
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:31,960
the padre,
539
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,240
that the seven brides
540
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,173
may marry the seven brothers.
541
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,679
Fetch hither
the master on duty,
542
00:18:42,679 --> 00:18:46,560
that the seven brides
543
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,493
may marry the seven brothers.
544
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,639
Sorry I'm late, headmaster.
I've been wrestling with Plato.
545
00:18:53,639 --> 00:18:55,720
What you do in
546
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:55,720
your own time, padre,
547
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,679
is written on the wall
548
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:57,679
in the vestry.
549
00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:00,360
Right. Ahem.
550
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,120
Do you four boys
551
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:03,120
take these two girls
552
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,159
to be
553
00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:05,159
your seven brides?
554
00:19:05,159 --> 00:19:07,040
ALL: Yes, sir.
555
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:07,040
Right. Go and do your prep.
556
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,760
Yes, sir.
557
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,639
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
558
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:12,879
[PLAYS SLOW TUNE]
559
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,520
I say, Teddy.
You said something, Neddy?
560
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,240
That's right,
561
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:23,240
I did, Teddy.
562
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,399
Well, what is it, Neddy?
563
00:19:24,399 --> 00:19:26,200
Piggy banks, Teddy.
564
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,919
Piggy banks, Neddy?
565
00:19:27,919 --> 00:19:30,240
Yes, I want to hunt
566
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:30,240
piggy banks, Teddy.
567
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,480
You want to hunt
568
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:32,480
piggy banks, Neddy?
569
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,960
That's right, Teddy.
570
00:19:36,159 --> 00:19:38,679
[COINS JANGLING]
571
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:44,720
I've got him, Teddy.
572
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,919
Time to bring home
573
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:46,919
the bacon, Neddy.
574
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,280
That's not bacon.
575
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:50,280
That's sirloin, Teddy.
576
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,200
Can't be sirloin.
577
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:53,200
Not from a piggy, Neddy.
578
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,840
But that's sirloin,
579
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:54,840
Teddy.
580
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,399
No, it isn't, Neddy.
581
00:19:56,399 --> 00:19:57,919
Is, Teddy.
582
00:19:57,919 --> 00:19:57,919
Isn't, Neddy.
583
00:19:57,919 --> 00:19:59,679
Is, Teddy.
584
00:19:59,679 --> 00:19:59,679
Isn't, Neddy.
585
00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:01,120
Is, Teddy.
586
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,879
Mm. Looks like I've been
587
00:20:03,879 --> 00:20:03,879
playing the fool, Neddy.
588
00:20:03,879 --> 00:20:05,600
Mm. That's all right,
589
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:05,600
Teddy.
590
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,360
Thanks awfully, Neddy.
591
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:07,360
Thanks a lot.
592
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,919
No, no, no.
593
00:20:08,919 --> 00:20:08,919
Doesn't matter at all.
594
00:20:08,919 --> 00:20:11,320
Jolly civil.
595
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:11,320
No. Perfectly all right.
596
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,280
I'd do the same
597
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,280
for you.
598
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,000
Good morning. I'd care to
purchase a chicken, please.
599
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,720
Don't come here
600
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:19,720
with that posh talk,
601
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,159
you nasty,
602
00:20:22,159 --> 00:20:22,159
stuck-up twit.
603
00:20:22,159 --> 00:20:23,639
I beg your pardon?
604
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,639
A chicken, sir? Certainly.
605
00:20:25,639 --> 00:20:25,639
Thank you.
606
00:20:25,639 --> 00:20:28,320
And how much does that
607
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:28,320
work out to per pound,
my good fellow?
608
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,520
Per pound, you slimy trollop?
609
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:31,520
What kind of a ponce are you?
610
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,600
I'm sorry?
611
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,919
Four and six a pound, sir.
612
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:36,919
Nice and ready for roasting.
613
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:40,120
I see. And I'd care to
614
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:40,120
purchase some stuffing
in addition, please.
615
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,240
Use your own,
616
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:42,240
you great poofy poonagger.
617
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,440
What?
618
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,159
Ah, certainly, sir.
619
00:20:45,159 --> 00:20:45,159
Some stuffing.
620
00:20:45,159 --> 00:20:46,919
Oh. Thank you.
621
00:20:46,919 --> 00:20:46,919
"Oh, thank you,"
622
00:20:46,919 --> 00:20:49,240
says the queen,
623
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:49,240
like a la-di-da poofter.
624
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,440
I beg your pardon?
625
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,200
That's all right, sir.
626
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:53,200
Call again.
627
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,560
Excuse me.
628
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,159
What is it now,
629
00:20:56,159 --> 00:20:56,159
you great pillock?
630
00:20:56,159 --> 00:20:59,360
Well, I can't help noticing
631
00:20:59,360 --> 00:20:59,360
that you insult me,
632
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,679
and then you're polite
633
00:21:01,679 --> 00:21:01,679
to me alternately.
634
00:21:01,679 --> 00:21:03,879
I'm terribly sorry
635
00:21:03,879 --> 00:21:03,879
to hear that, sir.
636
00:21:03,879 --> 00:21:05,560
Its all right.
637
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:05,560
Doesn't really matter.
638
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,440
Tough titty if it did,
639
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:08,440
you nasty, spotted prancer.
640
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,879
Ah.
641
00:21:10,879 --> 00:21:13,280
Oh. Uh, so sorry,
642
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:13,280
I asked for tea.
643
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,320
Would you--?
644
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:15,320
Thank you very much.
645
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,240
Well, uh,
646
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:18,240
we've had the dessert.
647
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,919
And then...
648
00:21:20,919 --> 00:21:23,120
And so...
649
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:23,120
the first item--
650
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:25,520
The last item on
651
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:25,520
our menu of fun
652
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,600
is the coffee.
653
00:21:30,399 --> 00:21:31,840
No, I did ask
for tea.
654
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,320
But you just
655
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:33,320
said, "Coffee."
656
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,960
No, no. That was just
657
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:34,960
my announcement.
658
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,080
It's just a metaphor.
659
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,879
We come--
660
00:21:38,879 --> 00:21:38,879
He just said he wants tea...
661
00:21:38,879 --> 00:21:41,120
Would you mind
662
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:41,120
keeping it down, please?
663
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,879
We come as--
664
00:21:43,879 --> 00:21:43,879
as I said just now...
[CHATTERING]
665
00:21:43,879 --> 00:21:45,560
to the coffee.
666
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,840
There, he said it again!
667
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:47,840
Shut up!
668
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,399
NARRATOR:
669
00:21:50,399 --> 00:21:50,399
This is Ken Clean-Air System,
670
00:21:50,399 --> 00:21:52,800
the great white hope
671
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:52,800
of the British boxing world.
672
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,000
After three fights
673
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:55,000
and only two convictions,
674
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,879
his manager believes
675
00:21:56,879 --> 00:21:56,879
that Ken is now ready
676
00:21:56,879 --> 00:21:59,399
to face the giant American,
677
00:21:59,399 --> 00:22:00,599
Satellite Five.
678
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,600
The great thing about Ken is,
679
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,520
is that he's almost
680
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:08,520
totally stupid.
681
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,159
NARRATOR:
682
00:22:11,159 --> 00:22:11,159
Every morning,
he jogs the 47 miles
683
00:22:11,159 --> 00:22:12,879
from his two-bedroom,
684
00:22:12,879 --> 00:22:12,879
eight-bathroom,
685
00:22:12,879 --> 00:22:15,080
six-up, two-down,
686
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:15,080
three-to-go house in Reigate
687
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,919
to the Government's Pesticide
688
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:17,919
Research Centre at Shoreham.
689
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:20,919
Nobody knows why.
690
00:22:20,919 --> 00:22:20,919
[GRUNTING]
691
00:22:20,919 --> 00:22:24,600
Basically,
692
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:24,600
Ken is a very gentle,
home-loving person.
693
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,720
I remember when one of his
694
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:27,720
stick insects had
a knee infection.
695
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,480
He stayed up all night,
696
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:30,480
rubbing it with Germolene
697
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,399
then banging its head
698
00:22:33,399 --> 00:22:33,399
on the table.
699
00:22:33,399 --> 00:22:35,679
Oh, such a pretty baby,
700
00:22:35,679 --> 00:22:38,600
always so kind and gentle...
701
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,240
and really considerate
702
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:41,240
to his mother,
703
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,560
and not at all the kind
704
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:43,560
of person you'd expect
705
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,600
to pulverize their opponent
706
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,360
into a bloody mass of flesh
707
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:48,360
and raw bone,
708
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,399
spitting teeth
709
00:22:50,399 --> 00:22:50,399
and fragments of gum
710
00:22:50,399 --> 00:22:52,520
into a ring which had become
711
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:52,520
one man's hell
712
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,520
and Ken's glory.
713
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,960
NARRATOR:
Every morning at his
little three-room semi
714
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,639
near Reading,
715
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:08,639
Ken gets up at 3:00.
716
00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:11,840
And goes back to bed again
717
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:11,840
because it's far too early.
718
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,360
At 7:00 Ken gets up,
719
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,280
he has a quick shower,
720
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:15,280
a rubdown,
721
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,159
gets into his tracksuit
722
00:23:18,159 --> 00:23:19,959
and goes back to bed again.
723
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,720
At 7:50 every morning,
724
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,919
Ken's trainer runs
725
00:23:25,919 --> 00:23:25,919
the 13,000 miles
726
00:23:25,919 --> 00:23:28,720
from his two-room lean-to
727
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,176
in Bangkok and gets him up.
728
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,600
I used to wake Ken up
729
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,639
with a crowbar
730
00:23:33,639 --> 00:23:33,639
on the back of the head.
731
00:23:33,639 --> 00:23:36,320
But I recently found that this
732
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:36,320
was too far from his brain,
733
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,399
and I wasn't getting through
734
00:23:38,399 --> 00:23:38,399
to him anymore.
735
00:23:38,399 --> 00:23:40,560
So I now wake him up
736
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:40,560
with a steel peg
737
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,240
driven into his skull
738
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,360
with a mallet.
739
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,679
NARRATOR:
For breakfast every day,
740
00:23:48,679 --> 00:23:50,720
Ken places a plate of liver
741
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:50,720
and bacon under his chair
742
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,679
and locks himself
743
00:23:52,679 --> 00:23:53,959
in the cupboard.
744
00:23:54,159 --> 00:23:56,840
Well, he's having
a lot of mental difficulties
745
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,560
with his breakfasts.
746
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,240
Uh, but it's his temperament
747
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:04,480
caused by a small particle
748
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:04,480
of brain in his skull.
749
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,639
Once we've removed that,
750
00:24:07,639 --> 00:24:07,639
he'll be perfectly all right.
751
00:24:07,639 --> 00:24:09,760
NARRATOR:
752
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:09,760
At 8:30, the real
training begins.
753
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,240
Ken goes back to bed,
754
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,107
and his trainer gets him up.
755
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,560
[PANTING]
756
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,120
At 10:30 every morning,
757
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,439
Ken arrives at what
758
00:24:45,439 --> 00:24:45,439
he thinks is the gym.
759
00:24:45,439 --> 00:24:47,800
Sometimes it's a sweet shop.
760
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:47,800
Sometimes it's a private house.
761
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,679
Today it's a hospital.
762
00:24:49,679 --> 00:24:52,200
[MUMBLES]
763
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:52,200
Hi. Could you please tell me
where the training is?
764
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,120
Certainly. Um, yeah.
765
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:56,800
Go straight down there.
766
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,960
Straight down there.
Down there.
767
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,560
[MUMBLES]
768
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,159
Straight down there.
769
00:25:04,159 --> 00:25:04,159
Down there. All right.
770
00:25:04,159 --> 00:25:06,120
[GRUNTING]
771
00:25:09,639 --> 00:25:12,080
NARRATOR:
For lunch Ken crouches down
beside the road
772
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,199
and rubs gravel
773
00:25:14,199 --> 00:25:15,319
into his hair.
774
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,120
But lunch
doesn't take long.
775
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:26,080
Ken's soon up on his feet
776
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:26,080
and back to bed.
777
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,280
And his trainer has to run
778
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:28,280
the 49,000 miles
779
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,520
from his two-bedroom
780
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:30,520
six-living-room tree house
781
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,000
in Kyoto to wake him up.
782
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,639
Hello. Eh,
783
00:25:33,639 --> 00:25:35,600
when Ken is in a really
784
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:35,600
deep sleep like this one,
785
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,679
uh, the only way to wake
786
00:25:38,679 --> 00:25:40,679
him up is to saw his head off.
787
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,760
[STEEL GRINDING]
788
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,439
NARRATOR:
789
00:25:46,439 --> 00:25:46,439
What is he like in the ring,
this human dynamo,
790
00:25:46,439 --> 00:25:49,000
this 18-stone bantamweight
791
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:49,000
battering ram?
792
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,879
We asked his
793
00:25:50,879 --> 00:25:50,879
sparring partner
794
00:25:50,879 --> 00:25:53,560
and one-time childhood
795
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:53,560
sweetheart, Maureen Spencer.
796
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,480
Well, I-- I think that if Ken,
797
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:57,480
uh, keeps his right up,
798
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,480
gets in with the left jab,
799
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,199
and, uh,
800
00:26:02,199 --> 00:26:02,199
takes the fight to his man,
801
00:26:02,199 --> 00:26:05,280
well, uh, he should go
802
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:05,280
for a cut eye in the third
803
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:09,159
and, uh, put Wilcox
804
00:26:09,159 --> 00:26:09,159
on the canvas by six.
805
00:26:09,159 --> 00:26:12,240
NARRATOR:
806
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:12,240
Ken's opponent in Tuesday's
fight is Petula Wilcox,
807
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,000
the Birmingham girl
808
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:14,000
who was a shorthand typist
809
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,639
before turning pro in 1968.
810
00:26:16,639 --> 00:26:19,840
She's keen on knitting and
811
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:19,840
likes Cliff Richard records.
812
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,000
How does she rate her chances
813
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:22,000
against Ken?
814
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,560
Well... I'm a southpaw.
815
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:24,560
[CLIFF RICHARD MUSIC PLAYING]
816
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,520
And I think this will
817
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:26,520
confuse him,
818
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,120
particularly with
819
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:29,120
his brain problem.
820
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:31,480
My lords, ladies,
821
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,919
and gedderbong.
822
00:26:33,919 --> 00:26:35,639
On my right...
823
00:26:35,639 --> 00:26:37,679
from the town
824
00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:37,679
of Reigate,
825
00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:40,840
in the county of Kent,
826
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:40,840
the heavyweight
827
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,520
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
828
00:26:47,919 --> 00:26:50,840
Mr. Ken
Clean-Air System!
829
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,199
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
830
00:26:56,879 --> 00:26:59,120
And on my left,
Miss Petula Wilcox.
831
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,240
[CROWD BOOS]
832
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,320
[BELL DINGS]
833
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,919
MAN 1:
I think boxing
is a splendid sport.
834
00:27:21,919 --> 00:27:24,639
Teaches you self-defense.
835
00:27:24,639 --> 00:27:26,679
MAN 2:
836
00:27:26,679 --> 00:27:26,679
Obviously, boxing
must have its limits.
837
00:27:26,679 --> 00:27:28,480
But providing they're both
838
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:28,480
perfectly fit,
839
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,439
I can see nothing wrong
840
00:27:30,439 --> 00:27:30,439
with one healthy man
841
00:27:30,439 --> 00:27:32,879
beating the living daylights
842
00:27:32,879 --> 00:27:32,879
out of a little schoolgirl.
843
00:27:32,879 --> 00:27:35,919
It's quick, and it's fun.
844
00:27:35,919 --> 00:27:38,800
♪ Raindrops keep falling
845
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:38,800
On my head ♪
846
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,560
[HUMMING]
847
00:27:41,679 --> 00:27:43,639
Oh. No, he's gone.
848
00:27:43,639 --> 00:27:45,120
But he left a message.
849
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:48,120
Jack! Where's that note
850
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:48,120
that fellow left?
851
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,240
Oh.
852
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,679
Here you are.
853
00:27:52,679 --> 00:27:56,720
It says, "Sorry,
854
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:56,720
had to catch the last bus.
855
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,919
Am on the 49B
856
00:27:59,919 --> 00:28:01,119
to Babbacombe."
857
00:28:02,399 --> 00:28:04,679
Oh, uh... there you are.
Hello.
858
00:28:04,679 --> 00:28:06,760
Um, you got the note.
859
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:06,760
Jolly good.
860
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,439
Well, um,
861
00:28:08,439 --> 00:28:10,600
that's all the items that
862
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:10,600
we have for you this week.
863
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,080
And, uh, what a jolly nice lot
864
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:14,080
of items too, eh?
865
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,879
Um...
866
00:28:15,879 --> 00:28:18,439
Well, the same team will be
867
00:28:18,439 --> 00:28:18,439
back with you again next week
868
00:28:18,439 --> 00:28:21,480
with another menu
869
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:21,480
full of items.
870
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:22,760
Um...
871
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,439
I don't know if I shall
872
00:28:24,439 --> 00:28:27,199
be introducing the show
873
00:28:27,199 --> 00:28:27,199
next week...
874
00:28:27,199 --> 00:28:29,760
as I understand that
875
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:29,760
my bits in this show
876
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,879
have not been received
877
00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:32,879
quite as well as they might.
878
00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:36,159
But, uh... never mind.
879
00:28:36,159 --> 00:28:40,120
The damage is done.
880
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:40,120
No use crying over spilt milk.
881
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,120
I've had my chance...
882
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,919
and I've muffed it.
883
00:28:44,919 --> 00:28:46,959
Anyway, heh, there we are.
884
00:28:46,959 --> 00:28:49,120
I'm not really
885
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:49,120
awfully good with words.
886
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,040
You see, I'm more
887
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:51,040
of a visual performer.
888
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,919
[CHUCKLES]
889
00:28:53,919 --> 00:28:53,919
I have a very funny--
Though I say so myself.
890
00:28:53,919 --> 00:28:55,600
A very funny...
891
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,120
funny walk.
892
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,520
I wish I'd been in that show.
893
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,120
I'd have done rather well.
894
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,199
But anyway, there we are.
895
00:29:07,199 --> 00:29:07,199
Show's over.
896
00:29:07,199 --> 00:29:09,159
And, uh, we'll all be--
897
00:29:09,159 --> 00:29:12,000
They'll all be back
898
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,680
with you again next week.
899
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,199
Sorry.
900
00:29:19,199 --> 00:29:21,399
I do beg your pardon.
901
00:29:21,399 --> 00:29:22,935
I don't like these...
902
00:29:22,959 --> 00:29:24,879
blatant displays
of emotion.
903
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,760
[SOBBING]
I wish it would say,
"The end."