1
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,669
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
2
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:12,898
IT'S...
3
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:20,776
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
4
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
5
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:47,936
HOW TO RECOGNIZE
DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE BODY.
6
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,671
THE FOOT.
7
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:54,908
THE SHOULDER.
8
00:01:56,716 --> 00:02:00,482
THE OTHER FOOT.
9
00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:07,019
THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE.
10
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:11,429
THE NAUGHTY BITS.
11
00:02:12,899 --> 00:02:17,063
JUST ABOVE THE ELBOW.
12
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,695
NUMBER SEVEN:
13
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:23,175
TWO INCHES TO THE RIGHT OF
A VERY NAUGHTY BIT INDEED.
14
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:29,142
THE KNEECAP.
15
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:37,323
GOODDAY, BRUCE!
16
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,324
OH, HELLO, BRUCE.
17
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:39,882
HOW ARE YER, BRUCE?
18
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:40,915
BIT CROOK, BRUCE.
19
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:41,927
WHERE'S BRUCE?
20
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:43,019
HE'S NOT HERE,
BRUCE.
21
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:44,620
BLIMEY, S'HOT
IN HERE, BRUCE.
22
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,098
S'HOT ENOUGH TO
BOIL A MONKEY'S BUM.
23
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,325
THAT'S A STRANGE
EXPRESSION, BRUCE.
24
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,668
WELL, BRUCE, I HEARD THE
PRIME MINISTER USE IT.
25
00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:54,866
"S'HOT ENOUGH TO BOIL A
MONKEY'S BUM IN 'ERE
26
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,000
YOUR MAJESTY,"
HE SAID
27
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,737
AND SHE SMILED
QUIETLY TO HERSELF.
28
00:02:57,777 --> 00:02:59,301
SHE'S A GOOD
SHEILA, BRUCE
29
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:00,812
AND NOT AT ALL
STUCK-UP.
30
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,645
AH! HERE COMES
THE BOSSFELLA NOW.
31
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,707
HOW ARE YOU, BRUCE?
32
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:05,718
HELLO, BRUCE.
33
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:06,719
HOW ARE YOU, BRUCE?
34
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,311
GENTLEMEN, I'D
LIKE TO INTRODUCE
35
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,412
A CHAP FROM
POMMY LAND
36
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,116
WHO'LL BE JOINING
US THIS YEAR
37
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,124
HERE IN THE PHILOSOPHY
DEPARTMENT
38
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,058
OF THE UNIVERSITY
OF WOOLAMALOO.
39
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:18,127
UH, MICHAEL BALDWIN,
THIS IS BRUCE.
40
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:19,791
MICHAEL BALDWIN,
THIS IS BRUCE.
41
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:21,891
MICHAEL BALDWIN,
THIS IS BRUCE.
42
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,129
IS YOUR NAME NOT BRUCE, THEN?
43
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,601
NO, IT'S
MICHAEL.
44
00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:25,831
THAT'S GOING
TO CAUSE
45
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:26,930
A LITTLE
CONFUSION.
46
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,373
MIND IF WE
CALL YOU "BRUCE"
47
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:30,569
JUST TO KEEP
IT CLEAR?
48
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:31,668
WELL, GENTLEMEN
49
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:34,236
I THINK WE'D BETTER
START THE MEETING.
50
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,804
BEFORE WE
START, THOUGH
51
00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:38,009
I'LL ASK THE PADRE
FOR A PRAYER.
52
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,282
O LORD, WE BESEECH THEE,
HAVE MERCY ON OUR FACULTY, AMEN.
53
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,310
AMEN.
54
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:43,754
CRACK THE
TUBES, RIGHT!
55
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,621
ER, BRUCE, I NOW
CALL UPON YOU
56
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,023
TO WELCOME
MR. BALDWIN
57
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,857
TO THE PHILOSOPHY
DEPARTMENT.
58
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,157
I'D LIKE
TO WELCOME
59
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,858
THE POMMY BASTARD
TO GOD'S OWN EARTH
60
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,264
AND I'D LIKE
TO REMIND HIM
61
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,289
THAT WE DON'T LIKE
62
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:56,802
STUCK-UP
STICKY-BEAKS HERE.
63
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:57,666
HEAR, HEAR!
64
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:58,762
WELL-SPOKEN, BRUCE.
65
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,103
NOW, BRUCE TEACHES
CLASSICAL PHILOSOPHY
66
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:03,108
BRUCE TEACHES
HEGELIAN PHILOSOPHY
67
00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:05,406
BRUCE HERE TEACHES
LOGICAL POSITIVISM
68
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,640
AND IS ALSO IN CHARGE
OF THE SHEEP-DIP.
69
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:10,410
WHAT DOES
NEW BRUCE TEACH?
70
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,611
NEW BRUCE WILL BE TEACHING
POLITICAL SCIENCE...
71
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,313
MACHIAVELLI, BENTHAM,
LOCKE, HOBBES
72
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:17,050
SUTCLIFFE, BRADMAN, LINDWALL,
MILLER, HASSETT AND BENAUD.
73
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:17,988
THOSE ARE CRICKETERS, BRUCE.
74
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,389
OH, SPIT.
75
00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:22,854
HOWLS OF DERISIVE
LAUGHTER, BRUCE.
76
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:25,591
IN ADDITION, AS HE'S GOING
TO BE TEACHING POLITICS
77
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,532
I'VE TOLD HIM HE'S
WELCOME TO TEACH
78
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,467
ANY OF THE GREAT
SOCIALIST THINKERS
79
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:32,096
PROVIDED HE MAKES IT CLEAR
THAT THEY WERE WRONG.
80
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:35,335
AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA,
AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA
81
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,672
WE LOVE YOU, AMEN.
82
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,144
ANY QUESTIONS?
83
00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:42,613
NEW BRUCE,
ARE YOU A POOFTAH?
84
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,173
ARE YOU A POOFTAH?
85
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,184
NO.
86
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,446
NO, RIGHT.
87
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,477
WELL, GENTLEMEN,
I'LL JUST REMIND YOU
88
00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:49,681
OF THE FACULTY RULES.
89
00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:51,587
NO POOFTAHS.
90
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,785
NO MEMBER
OF THE FACULTY
91
00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:55,316
IS TO MALTREAT
THE ABOS
92
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,658
IN ANY WAY
WHATSOEVER
93
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,561
IF THERE'S ANYONE WATCHING.
94
00:04:58,598 --> 00:04:59,895
NO POOFTAHS.
95
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:02,093
I DON'T
WANT TO CATCH ANYONE
96
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,603
NOT DRINKING IN THEIR
ROOM AFTER LIGHTS OUT.
97
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,195
NO POOFTAHS.
98
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,366
THERE IS NO RULE SIX.
99
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:10,035
NO POOFTAHS.
100
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,772
THAT CONCLUDES THE READING
OF THE RULES.
101
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,643
BRUCE?
102
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:15,670
THIS HERE'S
THE WATTLE...
103
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:16,704
THE EMBLEM
OF OUR LAND.
104
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:17,943
YOU CAN STICK IT
IN A BOTTLE
105
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,611
OR YOU CAN HOLD IT
IN YER HAND, AMEN.
106
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,381
AMEN.
107
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,945
GENTLEMEN, AT 6:00
108
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,787
I WANT EVERY MAN-BRUCE OF YOU IN
THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE ROOM
109
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,487
TO TAKE A GLASS OF SHERRY WITH
THE FLYING PHILOSOPHER, BRUCE
110
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:29,688
AND I CALL UPON YOU, PADRE
111
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:31,253
TO CLOSE THE MEETING
WITH A PRAYER.
112
00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:32,787
OH, LORD, WE
BESEECH THEE
113
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,197
ETC., ETC.,
ETC., AMEN.
114
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,257
AMEN.
115
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,030
RIGHT, LET'S GET
SOME SHEILAS.
116
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,037
OKAY.
117
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,097
AH, ELEVENSES!
118
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,402
THIS SHOULD
TIDE US...
119
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:44,410
THIS SHOULD TIDE US
OVER 'TIL LUNCHTIME.
120
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:45,411
RECKON
SO, BRUCE.
121
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:46,412
SYDNEY
NOLAN!
122
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:47,378
WHAT'S THAT?
123
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:51,247
THE EAR.
124
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,583
THE BIG TOE.
125
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:59,080
MORE NAUGHTY BITS.
126
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:04,529
THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF A LADY.
127
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:08,022
THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF A HORSE.
128
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:13,767
THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF AN ANT.
129
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:18,834
THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF REGINALD MAUDLING.
130
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,939
THE HAND.
131
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:26,546
GOOD EVENING.
132
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:29,111
I HAVE WITH ME
IN THE STUDIO TONIGHT
133
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,316
MR. NORMAN
ST. JOHN POLEVAULTER
134
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:35,657
WHO, FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS,
HAS BEEN CONTRADICTING PEOPLE.
135
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,663
MR. POLEVAULTER,
WHY DO YOU CONTRADICT PEOPLE?
136
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:38,425
I DON'T.
137
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:39,328
YOU TOLD ME YOU DID.
138
00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:40,730
I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT.
139
00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:43,759
OH, I SEE.
140
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:44,667
I'LL START AGAIN.
141
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:45,329
NO, YOU WON'T.
142
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:46,838
SHH!
143
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,101
MR. POLEVAULTER
144
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,665
I UNDERSTAND
YOU DON'T CONTRADICT PEOPLE.
145
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:50,539
YES, I DO.
146
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,941
WHEN DIDN'T YOU START
147
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,343
CONTRADICTING PEOPLE?
148
00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:54,607
WELL, I DID IN 1952.
149
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:55,341
1952?
150
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:56,142
1947.
151
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,206
23 YEARS AGO?
152
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:57,841
NO.
153
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:59,044
AND SO ON
154
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,484
AND SO ON AND SO ON.
155
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:02,955
AND NOW...
156
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:07,016
THE TOP OF THE HEAD.
157
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:13,589
THE FEATHER... RARE.
158
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,568
THE NOSE.
159
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:49,893
COME IN.
160
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,576
AH, MR. LUXURY YACHT.
161
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:00,909
DO SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
162
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:02,005
AH, NO, NO.
163
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,879
MY NAME IS SPELLED
"LUXURY YACHT"
164
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:05,008
BUT IT'S PRONOUNCED
165
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:06,985
"THROATWOBBLER MANGROVE."
166
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,316
AH, WELL, DO
SIT DOWN, THEN
167
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:09,685
MR. THROATWOBBLER
MANGROVE.
168
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:10,711
THANK YOU.
169
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,417
NOW, WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE TROUBLE?
170
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:13,423
UM...
171
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,054
I'D LIKE YOU TO PERFORM
SOME PLASTIC SURGERY ON ME.
172
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:21,032
I SEE, AND WHICH PARTICULAR
FEATURE OF YOUR ANATOMY
173
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,432
IS CAUSING YOU DISTRESS?
174
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,096
WELL, WELL, FOR A LONG
TIME NOW, IN FACT
175
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:29,130
EVEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I...
YOU KNOW, WHENEVER I LEFT HOME
176
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,609
TO CATCH A BUS
OR TO CATCH A TRAIN...
177
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:34,545
AND EVEN MY TENNIS
HAS SUFFERED, ACTUALLY...
178
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,842
YES, TO BE
ABSOLUTELY BLUNT
179
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:39,249
YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT
YOUR ENORMOUS HOOTER.
180
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:40,115
NO!
181
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:40,982
NO?
182
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,044
YES.
183
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,350
YES, AND
YOU WANT ME
184
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,447
TO HACK A BIT OFF.
185
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:45,184
PLEASE.
186
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,623
FINE.
187
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,423
IT IS A STARTLER,
ISN'T IT?
188
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,157
UH, DO YOU MIND
IF I, UH?
189
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,630
WHAT?
190
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:53,791
OH, NO, NOTHING, THEN.
191
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,698
WELL, I'LL JUST
EXAMINE YOUR NOSE.
192
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,772
MR. LUXURY YACHT,
THIS, UM...
193
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:04,173
THIS NOSE OF YOURS
IS FALSE.
194
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,678
IT'S MADE OF POLYSTYRENE.
195
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,737
AND YOUR
OWN HOOTER'S A BEAUT.
196
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:11,682
NO PRUNING NECESSARY.
197
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,481
I'D STILL LIKE
THE OPERATION.
198
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,681
WELL, YOU'VE HAD THE
OPERATION, YOU STRANGE PERSON.
199
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,088
PLEASE DO AN OPERATION.
200
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,389
WELL, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
201
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:26,023
BUT ONLY IF YOU'LL COME ON
A CAMPING HOLIDAY WITH ME.
202
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,056
HE ASKED ME!
HE ASKED ME!
203
00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:58,424
NEXT WEEK, WE'LL BE SHOWING YOU
204
00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:01,627
HOW TO PICK UP AN ARCHITECT,
HOW TO PULL A PRIME MINISTER
205
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,261
AND HOW TO HAVE FUN
WITH A WHOLESALE POULTERER.
206
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,737
BUT NOW, THE MEN OF THE
DERBYSHIRE LIGHT INFANTRY
207
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,400
ENTERTAIN US WITH A PRECISION
DISPLAY OF BAD TEMPER.
208
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,774
ATTENTION!
209
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,442
MY GOODNESS ME!
210
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,381
I AM IN A BAD TEMPER TODAY!
211
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:21,375
ALL RIGHT, TWO, THREE,
DAMN, DAMN, TWO, THREE
212
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,651
I AM VEXED AND RATTY,
TWO, THREE
213
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,920
AND HOPPING MAD.
214
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,555
AND NEXT, THE MEN OF THE SECOND
ARMOURED DIVISION REGALE US
215
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,098
WITH THEIR FAMOUS
CLOSE ORDER SWANNING ABOUT.
216
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:38,797
SQUAD...
CAMP IT UP!
217
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,567
OOH, GET HER! WHOOPS!
218
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,131
I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER, DUCKY.
219
00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:46,508
YOU COULDN'T AFFORD ME,
DEAR, TWO, THREE.
220
00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:48,706
I'LL SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT.
221
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:52,184
DON'T COME THE BRIGADIER BIT
WITH US, DEAR.
222
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,118
WE ALL KNOW
WHERE YOU'VE BEEN
223
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,053
YOU MILITARY FAIRY.
224
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:01,051
WHOOPS, DON'T LOOK NOW, GIRLS.
225
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:05,325
THE MAJOR'S JUST MINCED IN
WITH THAT DOLLY COLOR SERGEANT.
226
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:06,194
TWO, THREE.
227
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:07,824
OOH-HO!
228
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,129
AND FINALLY...
229
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,476
GOD, IF THEY DON'T STOP,
I'LL KILL MYSELF.
230
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,553
I SWEAR, I WILL.
231
00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:33,982
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!
232
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,724
FOR THREE DAYS AND NIGHTS
233
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:42,063
THE DISPLACED EYEBALL
PLUMMETED EARTHWARD
234
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,261
UNTIL...
235
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,713
OH!
236
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,252
OH!
237
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,764
WHAT'S THIS?
238
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,201
KEEP LOW, KEEP
DOWN, DON'T LAG BEHIND.
239
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,329
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
THAT'S RIGHT.
240
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,497
KEEP CLOSE, THAT'S RIGHT.
241
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:21,904
WATCH OUT FOR
THE KILLER CARS.
242
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,272
VROOM!
243
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,204
YES, THE KILLER CARS.
244
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:28,679
FOR YEARS, THE CITY
HAD BEEN PLAGUED
245
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:31,478
BY EVER-INCREASING
PEDESTRIAN CONGESTION.
246
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,179
IN AN ATTEMPT
TO ELIMINATE THIS PROBLEM
247
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,245
CERTAIN FANATICAL CARS
248
00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:38,449
HAD TAKEN THE LAW
INTO THEIR OWN HANDS.
249
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,049
VROOM, VROOM!
250
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:43,551
VROOM!
251
00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:47,197
V-V-VROOM.
252
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,929
BUT THE DAYS OF THE KILLER
CARS WERE NUMBERED
253
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:52,403
THANKS TO THE MIRACLE
OF ATOMIC MUTATION.
254
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:04,674
VROOM!
255
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,082
VROOM!
256
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:11,348
OH, THANK YOU!
257
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:12,721
YOU'VE SAVED OUR CITY!
258
00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:15,589
BUT AT WHAT COST?
259
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,969
OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
260
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,135
YOU'VE SAVED OUR CITY.
261
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:32,971
OF COURSE, THERE WERE THOSE
WHO CHOSE TO LEAVE TOWN.
262
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:39,250
THIS, THEN, IS THE STORY
OF TWO OF THEM.
263
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,074
MORNING, SIR,
CAN I HELP YOU?
264
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:10,604
YES, WE'VE BOOKED ON
YOUR FLIGHT FOR AMERICA.
265
00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:12,344
OH, WE DON'T
FLY TO AMERICA.
266
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:13,908
OH! THE AMERICAN FLIGHT.
267
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,386
ON THE PLANE... OH, YES.
268
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:16,911
OH, WE DO THAT,
ALL RIGHT.
269
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,947
SAFE AS HOUSES,
NO NEED FOR PANIC.
270
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,050
IS IT REALLY 37 AND SIX?
271
00:14:21,093 --> 00:14:22,560
30 BOB... I'M ROBBING MYSELF.
272
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,562
30 BOB?
273
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,426
TWENTY-FIVE.
274
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:25,452
TWO QUID
THE PAIR OF YOU.
275
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,759
THAT'S
WITHOUT INSURANCE.
276
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,699
WELL, HOW MUCH IS
IT WITH INSURANCE?
277
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:29,894
102 QUID.
278
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:31,368
THAT'S INCLUDING
THE FLIGHT.
279
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:32,665
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?
280
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,697
UH, LET ME PUT IT
THIS WAY... NO IDEA.
281
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:36,799
SIX HOURS.
282
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:37,274
SIX?
283
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:38,503
FIVE... TEN FOR
THE PAIR OF YOU.
284
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,306
OH, IS IT A JET?
285
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:40,369
UH... WELL, NO.
286
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:41,709
IT'S NOT SO MUCH A JET.
287
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:44,580
IT'S MORE YOUR TRIUMPH
HERALD ENGINE WITH WINGS.
288
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,312
WHEN ARE YOU TAKING OFF?
289
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:47,319
3300 HOURS.
290
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,320
WHAT?
291
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,719
2600 HOURS FOR
THE PAIR OF YOU.
292
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:50,779
WHAT?
293
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:51,915
HAVE THE INJECTIONS,
YOU WON'T CARE.
294
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,083
WHAT INJECTIONS?
295
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,353
BARLEY SUGAR INJECTIONS;
CALM YOU DOWN.
296
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,826
THEY'RE COMPULSORY,
BOARD OF TRADE, PROMISE.
297
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,487
OH, I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF INJECTIONS.
298
00:14:58,764 --> 00:14:59,958
HELLO, YES, RIGHT.
299
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,227
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE YOUR
MIND UP STRAIGHT AWAY
300
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:02,234
IF YOU'RE COMING OR NOT.
301
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:03,257
YES.
302
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,633
RIGHT, YOU CAN'T
CHANGE YOUR MIND.
303
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:05,830
I'LL RING THE
DEPARTURE LOUNGE.
304
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,030
HELLO?
305
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,632
TWO MORE ON THE WAY,
MRS. TURPIN.
306
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,307
AH.
307
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:14,608
NOW, THE DUTY-FREE
TROLLEY IS OVER THERE.
308
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,342
THERE'S SOME
LOVELY DROP SCONES
309
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:17,849
AND SOME
DUTY-FREE BROCCOLI
310
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,578
AND THERE'S
FRESH ECCLES CAKES.
311
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:22,348
YOU'RE ALLOWED 200 EACH
ON THE PLANE.
312
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,652
THE VERRIFAST PLANE COMPANY
ANNOUNCE
313
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:28,524
THE DEPARTURE OF FLIGHT ONE
TO OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY.
314
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,528
WILL PASSENGERS
FOR FLIGHT ONE
315
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:32,427
PLEASE ASSEMBLE
AT GATE ONE.
316
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:33,954
PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED
317
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,263
THAT THERE IS
STILL PLENTY OF TIME
318
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:37,667
TO BUY ECCLES CAKES.
319
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:38,863
NEARLY READY.
320
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:42,869
WILL PASSENGERS PLEASE GET READY
321
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,808
FOR THEIR BARLEY SUGAR
INJECTIONS.
322
00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:49,138
TODAY WE ALL TAKE VOW.
323
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:51,376
TODAY WE SMASH
THE ENEMY FLEET!
324
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:54,386
WE... SMASH... SMASH!
325
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,516
THAT'S MR. KAMIKAZE, THE PILOT.
326
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:02,026
HE'S VERY NICE, REALLY
327
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,996
BUT MAKE SURE HE STAYS
CLEAR OF BATTLESHIPS.
328
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:10,758
THERE HAVE BEEN MANY
STIRRING TALES TOLD OF THE SEA
329
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,328
AND ALSO SOME FAIRLY
UNINTERESTING ONES
330
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:16,569
ONLY MARGINALLY CONNECTED
WITH IT, LIKE THIS ONE.
331
00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:19,907
SORRY, THIS ISN'T A VERY
GOOD ANNOUNCEMENT, SORRY.
332
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,469
AND HERE IS THE RESULT
333
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:24,277
OF THE "WHERE TO PUT EDWARD
HEATH'S STATUE" COMPETITION.
334
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,147
THE WINNER WAS A MR. IVY NORTH
335
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:29,780
WHO WINS TEN GUINEAS AND A VISIT
TO THE SAILORS' QUARTERS.
336
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:43,694
THAT WAS LAST YEAR'S REENACTMENT
OF THE BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR
337
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,170
PERFORMED BY THE BATLEY
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD.
338
00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:50,539
IT WAS WRITTEN, DIRECTED AND
PRODUCED BY MRS. RITA FAIRBANKS.
339
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,702
HELLO AGAIN.
340
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,405
AND WHAT
ARE YOUR LADIES
341
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:54,935
GOING TO DO
FOR US THIS YEAR?
342
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:57,210
WELL, THIS YEAR
WE DECIDED TO REENACT
343
00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:59,410
SOMETHING WITH
A MORE MODERN FLAVOR.
344
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:00,816
WE HAD CONSIDERED
345
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,651
A VERSION OF MICHAEL STEWART'S
SPEECH ON NIGERIA
346
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,317
AND THERE WERE SEVERAL VOTES
ON THE COMMITTEE
347
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,850
FOR A STAGING OF HERR WILLY
BRANDT'S VISIT TO EAST GERMANY.
348
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,795
BUT WE'VE SETTLED INSTEAD
349
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:15,596
FOR A DRAMATIZATION
OF THE FIRST HEART TRANSPLANT.
350
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,398
INCIDENTALLY, MY SISTER MADGE
WILL BE PLAYING
351
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:22,100
THE PLUCKY LITTLE SPRINGBOK
PIONEER DR. CHRISTIAN BARNARD.
352
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,403
WELL, OFF
WE GO, THEN
353
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:26,275
WITH THE BATLEY TOWNSWOMEN'S
GUILD REENACTMENT
354
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,176
OF THE FIRST
HEART TRANSPLANT.
355
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:42,321
THE FIRST HEART TRANSPLANT.
356
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:45,330
BUT THIS IS NOT THE ONLY
OPEN-AIR PRODUCTION HERE
357
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:46,695
THAT HAS USED THE SEA.
358
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,893
THE THEATRICAL MANAGERS
IN THIS AREA
359
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,902
HAVE NOT BEEN SLOW TO APPRECIATE
360
00:17:50,936 --> 00:17:52,995
THE SEA'S TREMENDOUS
DRAMATIC VALUE.
361
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:55,164
AND SOMEWHERE OUT IN THIS BAY IS
362
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:58,768
THE FIRST UNDERWATER PRODUCTION
OF MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
363
00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:25,965
SERVANT HO!
364
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,145
FINE.
365
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,514
THE UNDERWATER VERSION
OF MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
366
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:39,983
AND FURTHER OUT TO SEA
367
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,851
HELLO, DOLLY!
IS ALSO DOING GOOD BUSINESS.
368
00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:50,859
AND OVER THERE ON THE OYSTER
BEDS, FORMULA TWO CAR RACING.
369
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:03,606
THE ARMPITS.
370
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:09,512
THE BOTTOM TWO-
THIRDS OF THE NAPE OF THE NECK.
371
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:14,552
THE NIPPLE.
372
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:19,785
And that
concludes this week's episode
373
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,419
of How to Recognize
Different Parts of the Body
374
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:23,723
adapted for radio
375
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:27,596
by Ann Haydon-Jones
and her husband, Pip.
376
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,534
And now we present
the first episode
377
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,833
of a new radio drama series
378
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:35,431
The Death
of Mary Queen of Scots.
379
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:39,069
Part one, the beginning.
380
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,320
You are Mary Queen of Scots?
381
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,383
I am.
382
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:33,689
Episode two of The
Death of Mary Queen of Scots
383
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:36,701
can be heard on Radio 4
almost immediately.
384
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,552
I think she's dead.
385
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,613
No, I'm not.
386
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,768
That was Episode 2 of
The Death of Mary Queen of Scots
387
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:16,205
adapted for the radio by Bernard
Hollowood and Brian London.
388
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:19,709
And now, Radio 4 will explode.
389
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:29,113
WE'LL HAVE TO WATCH
THE TELLY, THEN.
390
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:30,212
YES.
391
00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:43,159
WELL, WHAT'S ON
THE TELEVISION, THEN?
392
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,228
LOOKS LIKE A PENGUIN.
393
00:21:47,839 --> 00:21:49,033
NO, NO, NO, NO.
394
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:51,235
I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT'S
ON THE TELEVISION SET
395
00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:52,766
I MEANT WHAT PROGRAM!
396
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:53,937
OH.
397
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,105
OOH.
398
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:09,090
FUNNY THAT PENGUIN
BEING THERE, INNIT?
399
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,594
WHAT'S IT DOING THERE?
400
00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:11,596
STANDING.
401
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:13,461
I CAN SEE THAT!
402
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,195
IF IT LAYS AN EGG...
403
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,967
IT WILL FALL
DOWN THE BACK
404
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,441
OF THE TELEVISION SET.
405
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:25,841
WE'LL HAVE
TO WATCH THAT.
406
00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:26,935
MMM.
407
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:28,002
UNLESS IT'S A MALE.
408
00:22:28,046 --> 00:22:30,606
OOH, I NEVER
THOUGHT OF THAT.
409
00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:32,844
YES, LOOKS FAIRLY BUTCH.
410
00:22:33,885 --> 00:22:36,149
PERHAPS IT COMES
FROM NEXT DOOR.
411
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,713
PENGUINS DON'T COME
FROM NEXT DOOR.
412
00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:40,850
THEY COME
FROM THE ANTARCTIC!
413
00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:42,052
BURMA!
414
00:22:45,897 --> 00:22:47,125
WHY DID YOU SAY "BURMA"?
415
00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:48,189
I PANICKED.
416
00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,291
OH.
417
00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:53,196
PERHAPS IT'S
FROM THE ZOO.
418
00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:54,296
WHICH ZOO?
419
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,568
HOW SHOULD I KNOW
WHICH ZOO?
420
00:22:56,608 --> 00:22:58,940
I'M NOT
DR. BLOODY BRONOWSKI!
421
00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:00,444
HOW DOES
DR. BRONOWSKI KNOW
422
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:01,741
WHICH ZOO
IT CAME FROM?
423
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:02,940
HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
424
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,505
OH, I WOULDN'T
LIKE THAT.
425
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,983
IT WOULD TAKE
THE MYSTERY OUT OF LIFE.
426
00:23:07,018 --> 00:23:08,849
ANYWAY, IF IT
CAME FROM THE ZOO
427
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,878
IT WOULD HAVE
"PROPERTY OF THE ZOO"
428
00:23:10,922 --> 00:23:11,889
STAMPED ON IT.
429
00:23:11,923 --> 00:23:13,185
NO, IT WOULDN'T.
430
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:16,991
THEY DON'T STAMP ANIMALS
"PROPERTY OF THE ZOO."
431
00:23:17,028 --> 00:23:20,156
YOU COULDN'T STAMP
A HUGE LION.
432
00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:23,690
THEY STAMP THEM
WHEN THEY'RE SMALL.
433
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,630
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN THEY MOLT?
434
00:23:28,673 --> 00:23:29,662
LIONS DON'T MOLT.
435
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:31,005
NO, BUT PENGUINS DO.
436
00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:33,772
THERE, I'VE RUN RINGS
ROUND YOU LOGICALLY.
437
00:23:33,812 --> 00:23:37,009
OH, INTERCOURSE
THE PENGUIN.
438
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:41,584
It's just gone 8:00
439
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:44,521
and time for the penguin
on top of your television set
440
00:23:44,556 --> 00:23:46,023
to explode.
441
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:53,323
HOW DID HE KNOW THAT
WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?
442
00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:54,662
It was an inspired guess.
443
00:23:54,699 --> 00:23:55,666
And now...
444
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:58,362
THE SHIN.
445
00:23:58,470 --> 00:24:02,804
REGINALD MAUDLING'S SHIN.
446
00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:06,607
THE BRAIN.
447
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:11,241
MARGARET THATCHER'S BRAIN.
448
00:24:14,753 --> 00:24:20,316
MORE NAUGHTY BITS.
449
00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:25,125
THE NAUGHTY BITS
OF THE CABINET.
450
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:29,725
THE INTERIOR
OF A COUNTRY HOUSE.
451
00:24:29,768 --> 00:24:31,292
THAT'S NOT A PART
OF THE BODY.
452
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:32,598
NO, IT'S A LINK, THOUGH.
453
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:33,729
I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS VERY GOOD.
454
00:24:33,772 --> 00:24:35,637
NO, IT'S THE END
OF THE SERIES.
455
00:24:35,674 --> 00:24:36,800
THEY MUST BE RUNNING
OUT OF IDEAS.
456
00:24:36,842 --> 00:24:38,503
ALL RIGHT,
DON'T ANYBODY MOVE.
457
00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:39,771
THERE'S
BEEN A MURDER.
458
00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:41,210
A MURDER?
459
00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:42,679
NO, NO,
NOT MURDER, NO.
460
00:24:42,714 --> 00:24:45,342
WHAT'S LIKE A MURDER
BUT BEGINS WITH "B"?
461
00:24:45,383 --> 00:24:46,680
BIRMINGHAM?
462
00:24:46,718 --> 00:24:47,707
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
463
00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:48,719
BURNLEY?
464
00:24:48,753 --> 00:24:49,879
BURNLEY,
THAT'S RIGHT.
465
00:24:49,921 --> 00:24:51,081
BURNLEY
IN LANCASHIRE.
466
00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:52,350
THERE'S BEEN
A BURNLEY.
467
00:24:52,390 --> 00:24:53,379
BURGLARY!
468
00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:54,016
BURGLARY.
469
00:24:54,059 --> 00:24:55,048
YES, GOOD MAN.
470
00:24:55,093 --> 00:24:56,117
BURGLARY... THAT'S
IT, OF COURSE.
471
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,128
THERE'S BEEN
A BURGLARY.
472
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:58,129
WHERE?
473
00:24:58,163 --> 00:24:59,425
IN THE BACK, JUST BELOW THE RIB.
474
00:24:59,464 --> 00:25:00,294
NO, THAT'S MURDER.
475
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:03,859
OH, NO... IN THE, UH, THE BAND.
476
00:25:03,902 --> 00:25:06,735
IN THE BAT... BARCLAYS BAT.
477
00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:08,068
BARCLAYS BANK?
478
00:25:08,106 --> 00:25:09,073
YES, NASTY BUSINESS.
479
00:25:09,107 --> 00:25:10,165
GOT AWAY WITH £23,000.
480
00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:11,800
ANY CLUES?
481
00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:12,935
ANY WHAT?
482
00:25:12,978 --> 00:25:16,675
WELL, ANY EVIDENCE
AS TO WHO DID IT?
483
00:25:16,715 --> 00:25:18,876
ANY CLUES, EH?
484
00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:21,943
OH, WE DON'T
HALF TALK POSH, DO WE?
485
00:25:21,987 --> 00:25:24,319
I SUPPOSE
WE SAY "EHNVELOPE"
486
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:26,017
AND "LARNGERIE"
487
00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:29,424
AND "SARNDWICHES
ON THE SETTEE."
488
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:31,759
WELL, THIS IS A MURDER
INVESTIGATION, YOUNG MAN
489
00:25:31,796 --> 00:25:33,696
AND MURDER IS
A VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS!
490
00:25:33,732 --> 00:25:36,565
I THOUGHT YOU
SAID IT WAS A BURGLARY.
491
00:25:38,436 --> 00:25:40,870
BURGLARY IS ALMOST AS SERIOUS
A BUSINESS AS MURDER.
492
00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:43,067
SOME BURGLARIES ARE
MORE SERIOUS THAN MURDER.
493
00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:45,576
A BURGLARY IN WHICH SOMEONE
GETS STABBED IS MURDER.
494
00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:47,874
SO DON'T COME THESE PETTY
DISTINCTIONS WITH ME.
495
00:25:47,913 --> 00:25:49,471
YOU'RE AS BAD AS A JUDGE.
496
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,277
RIGHT! NOW,
THE FIRST THING TO DO
497
00:25:51,316 --> 00:25:53,750
IN THE EVENT OF A BREACH
OF A PEACE OF ANY KIND
498
00:25:53,785 --> 00:25:56,276
IS TO GO AND...
499
00:26:01,426 --> 00:26:02,484
SORRY, SORRY,
I WAS MILES AWAY.
500
00:26:02,594 --> 00:26:03,492
RING THE POLICE?
501
00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:04,493
RING THE POLICE.
502
00:26:04,596 --> 00:26:05,494
YES, THAT'S
A GOOD IDEA.
503
00:26:05,597 --> 00:26:06,495
GET THEM
OVER HERE FAST.
504
00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:07,587
NO, ON SECOND THOUGHTS
505
00:26:07,632 --> 00:26:08,690
GET THEM OVER
HERE SLOWLY
506
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:09,961
SO THEY DON'T
DROP ANYTHING.
507
00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:11,491
SHALL I MAKE US ALL
A CUP OF TEA?
508
00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:12,901
MAKE WHAT YOU LIKE,
BOSKOVITCH.
509
00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:14,132
IT WON'T HELP
YOU IN COURT.
510
00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:15,969
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
511
00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:17,440
I'M SORRY, SORRY.
512
00:26:17,475 --> 00:26:19,807
THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH
BEING ON TWO CASES AT ONCE.
513
00:26:19,844 --> 00:26:21,869
I KEEP THINKING I'VE
GOT BOSKOVITCH CORNERED
514
00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:24,006
WHEREAS IN FACT,
I'M INVESTIGATING A BURNLEY.
515
00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:25,016
BURGLARY.
516
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:26,779
YES... GOOD MAN.
517
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:29,451
WHO'S...
WHO'S BOSKOVITCH?
518
00:26:29,487 --> 00:26:30,454
HA!
519
00:26:30,488 --> 00:26:33,218
BOSKOVITCH
IS A RUSSIAN SCIENTIST
520
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,192
WHO'S PASSING INFORMATION
TO THE RUSSIANS.
521
00:26:35,226 --> 00:26:37,524
CLASSIFIED
INFORMATION?
522
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,530
OH, THERE HE
GOES AGAIN.
523
00:26:39,564 --> 00:26:41,759
"CLASSIFIED
INFORMATION"?
524
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,631
OH, SITTING ON THE SETTEE
525
00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:47,160
WITH OUR SCONES AND OUR
CLASSIFIED INFORMATION?
526
00:26:47,205 --> 00:26:49,537
AH, HELLO, DUCKIE.
527
00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:51,302
HELLO, SIR, HOW ARE YOU?
528
00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:52,139
FINE, THANKS,
HOW ARE YOU?
529
00:26:52,177 --> 00:26:53,303
WELL, SIR
530
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:54,972
I'M A LITTLE BIT
MOODY TODAY, SIR.
531
00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:56,446
WHY IS THAT, DUCKIE?
532
00:26:57,782 --> 00:26:58,976
BECAUSE...
533
00:27:45,363 --> 00:27:46,762
ETCETERA, ETCETERA.
534
00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:48,993
LOVELY SONG.
535
00:27:49,034 --> 00:27:51,025
AND THAT'S
THE FINAL ENTRY
536
00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:53,094
LA DERNIERE ENTREE,
DAS FINAL ENTRY.
537
00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:54,969
AND NOW, GUTEN ABEND.
538
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:59,340
DIE SCORES, DER SCORES,
LES SCORES, DEL SCORES.
539
00:27:59,377 --> 00:28:02,835
OH, SCORES... HA! SCORES!
540
00:28:02,881 --> 00:28:05,850
YES, MONACO IS THE WINNER.
541
00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:07,511
HA! MONACO IS THE LINNER.
542
00:28:07,552 --> 00:28:11,215
OH, YES, MAN, MONACO'S WON
DE BIG PRIZE, BWANA.
543
00:28:11,256 --> 00:28:14,521
AND NOW, HERE IS CHIEF INSPECTOR
JEAN-PAUL ZATAPATHIQUE
544
00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:17,426
WITH THE WINNING SONG,
ONCE AGAIN.
545
00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:20,631
AND SO, INSPECTOR ZATAPATHIQUE
546
00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:23,098
THE FORENSIC EXPERT
FROM THE MONACO MURDER SQUAD
547
00:28:23,134 --> 00:28:27,195
SINGS HIS SONG,
"BING TIDDLE TIDDLE BONG."
548
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,805
QUOI? QUOI?
549
00:28:31,843 --> 00:28:33,834
TOUT LE MONDE, QUOI?
550
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,505
POURQUOI?
551
00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:38,175
LE MONDE EST ROND...
552
00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:39,205
MAIS...
553
00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:42,276
MAIS JE NE SAIS PAS...
554
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,550
VRAIMENT...
555
00:28:44,589 --> 00:28:46,454
D'HABITUDE...
556
00:28:46,491 --> 00:28:47,458
MAIS...
557
00:28:47,492 --> 00:28:48,584
JE...
558
00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:52,357
PENSE...
559
00:29:00,672 --> 00:29:04,631
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
560
00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:40,233
THE END.
561
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll