AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
IT'S...
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
HOW TO RECOGNIZE DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE BODY.
THE FOOT.
THE SHOULDER.
THE OTHER FOOT.
THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE.
THE NAUGHTY BITS.
JUST ABOVE THE ELBOW.
NUMBER SEVEN:
TWO INCHES TO THE RIGHT OF A VERY NAUGHTY BIT INDEED.
THE KNEECAP.
GOODDAY, BRUCE!
OH, HELLO, BRUCE.
HOW ARE YER, BRUCE?
BIT CROOK, BRUCE.
WHERE'S BRUCE?
HE'S NOT HERE, BRUCE.
BLIMEY, S'HOT IN HERE, BRUCE.
S'HOT ENOUGH TO BOIL A MONKEY'S BUM.
THAT'S A STRANGE EXPRESSION, BRUCE.
WELL, BRUCE, I HEARD THE PRIME MINISTER USE IT.
"S'HOT ENOUGH TO BOIL A MONKEY'S BUM IN 'ERE
YOUR MAJESTY," HE SAID
AND SHE SMILED QUIETLY TO HERSELF.
SHE'S A GOOD SHEILA, BRUCE
AND NOT AT ALL STUCK-UP.
AH! HERE COMES THE BOSSFELLA NOW.
HOW ARE YOU, BRUCE?
HELLO, BRUCE.
HOW ARE YOU, BRUCE?
GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
A CHAP FROM POMMY LAND
WHO'LL BE JOINING US THIS YEAR
HERE IN THE PHILOSOPHY DEPARTMENT
OF THE UNIVERSITY OF WOOLAMALOO.
UH, MICHAEL BALDWIN, THIS IS BRUCE.
MICHAEL BALDWIN, THIS IS BRUCE.
IS YOUR NAME NOT BRUCE, THEN?
NO, IT'S MICHAEL.
THAT'S GOING TO CAUSE
A LITTLE CONFUSION.
MIND IF WE CALL YOU "BRUCE"
JUST TO KEEP IT CLEAR?
WELL, GENTLEMEN
I THINK WE'D BETTER START THE MEETING.
BEFORE WE START, THOUGH
I'LL ASK THE PADRE FOR A PRAYER.
O LORD, WE BESEECH THEE, HAVE MERCY ON OUR FACULTY, AMEN.
AMEN.
CRACK THE TUBES, RIGHT!
ER, BRUCE, I NOW CALL UPON YOU
TO WELCOME MR. BALDWIN
TO THE PHILOSOPHY DEPARTMENT.
I'D LIKE TO WELCOME
THE POMMY BASTARD TO GOD'S OWN EARTH
AND I'D LIKE TO REMIND HIM
THAT WE DON'T LIKE
STUCK-UP STICKY-BEAKS HERE.
HEAR, HEAR!
WELL-SPOKEN, BRUCE.
NOW, BRUCE TEACHES CLASSICAL PHILOSOPHY
BRUCE TEACHES HEGELIAN PHILOSOPHY
BRUCE HERE TEACHES LOGICAL POSITIVISM
AND IS ALSO IN CHARGE OF THE SHEEP-DIP.
WHAT DOES NEW BRUCE TEACH?
NEW BRUCE WILL BE TEACHING POLITICAL SCIENCE...
MACHIAVELLI, BENTHAM, LOCKE, HOBBES
SUTCLIFFE, BRADMAN, LINDWALL, MILLER, HASSETT AND BENAUD.
THOSE ARE CRICKETERS, BRUCE.
OH, SPIT.
HOWLS OF DERISIVE LAUGHTER, BRUCE.
IN ADDITION, AS HE'S GOING TO BE TEACHING POLITICS
I'VE TOLD HIM HE'S WELCOME TO TEACH
ANY OF THE GREAT SOCIALIST THINKERS
PROVIDED HE MAKES IT CLEAR THAT THEY WERE WRONG.
AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA
WE LOVE YOU, AMEN.
ANY QUESTIONS?
NEW BRUCE, ARE YOU A POOFTAH?
NO.
NO, RIGHT.
WELL, GENTLEMEN, I'LL JUST REMIND YOU
OF THE FACULTY RULES.
NO POOFTAHS.
NO MEMBER OF THE FACULTY
IS TO MALTREAT THE ABOS
IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER
IF THERE'S ANYONE WATCHING.
NO POOFTAHS.
I DON'T WANT TO CATCH ANYONE
NOT DRINKING IN THEIR ROOM AFTER LIGHTS OUT.
NO POOFTAHS.
THERE IS NO RULE SIX.
NO POOFTAHS.
THAT CONCLUDES THE READING OF THE RULES.
BRUCE?
THIS HERE'S THE WATTLE...
THE EMBLEM OF OUR LAND.
YOU CAN STICK IT IN A BOTTLE
OR YOU CAN HOLD IT IN YER HAND, AMEN.
AMEN.
GENTLEMEN, AT 6:00
I WANT EVERY MAN-BRUCE OF YOU IN THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE ROOM
TO TAKE A GLASS OF SHERRY WITH THE FLYING PHILOSOPHER, BRUCE
AND I CALL UPON YOU, PADRE
TO CLOSE THE MEETING WITH A PRAYER.
OH, LORD, WE BESEECH THEE
ETC., ETC., ETC., AMEN.
AMEN.
RIGHT, LET'S GET SOME SHEILAS.
OKAY.
AH, ELEVENSES!
THIS SHOULD TIDE US...
THIS SHOULD TIDE US OVER 'TIL LUNCHTIME.
RECKON SO, BRUCE.
SYDNEY NOLAN!
WHAT'S THAT?
THE EAR.
THE BIG TOE.
MORE NAUGHTY BITS.
THE NAUGHTY BITS OF A LADY.
THE NAUGHTY BITS OF A HORSE.
THE NAUGHTY BITS OF AN ANT.
THE NAUGHTY BITS OF REGINALD MAUDLING.
THE HAND.
GOOD EVENING.
I HAVE WITH ME IN THE STUDIO TONIGHT
MR. NORMAN ST. JOHN POLEVAULTER
WHO, FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS, HAS BEEN CONTRADICTING PEOPLE.
MR. POLEVAULTER, WHY DO YOU CONTRADICT PEOPLE?
I DON'T.
YOU TOLD ME YOU DID.
I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT.
OH, I SEE.
I'LL START AGAIN.
NO, YOU WON'T.
SHH!
MR. POLEVAULTER
I UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T CONTRADICT PEOPLE.
YES, I DO.
WHEN DIDN'T YOU START
CONTRADICTING PEOPLE?
WELL, I DID IN 1952.
1952?
1947.
23 YEARS AGO?
NO.
AND SO ON
AND SO ON AND SO ON.
AND NOW...
THE TOP OF THE HEAD.
THE FEATHER... RARE.
THE NOSE.
COME IN.
AH, MR. LUXURY YACHT.
DO SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
AH, NO, NO.
MY NAME IS SPELLED "LUXURY YACHT"
BUT IT'S PRONOUNCED
"THROATWOBBLER MANGROVE."
AH, WELL, DO SIT DOWN, THEN
MR. THROATWOBBLER MANGROVE.
THANK YOU.
NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE TROUBLE?
UM...
I'D LIKE YOU TO PERFORM SOME PLASTIC SURGERY ON ME.
I SEE, AND WHICH PARTICULAR FEATURE OF YOUR ANATOMY
IS CAUSING YOU DISTRESS?
WELL, WELL, FOR A LONG TIME NOW, IN FACT
EVEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I... YOU KNOW, WHENEVER I LEFT HOME
TO CATCH A BUS OR TO CATCH A TRAIN...
AND EVEN MY TENNIS HAS SUFFERED, ACTUALLY...
YES, TO BE ABSOLUTELY BLUNT
YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR ENORMOUS HOOTER.
NO!
NO?
YES.
YES, AND YOU WANT ME
TO HACK A BIT OFF.
PLEASE.
FINE.
IT IS A STARTLER, ISN'T IT?
UH, DO YOU MIND IF I, UH?
WHAT?
OH, NO, NOTHING, THEN.
WELL, I'LL JUST EXAMINE YOUR NOSE.
MR. LUXURY YACHT, THIS, UM...
THIS NOSE OF YOURS IS FALSE.
IT'S MADE OF POLYSTYRENE.
AND YOUR OWN HOOTER'S A BEAUT.
NO PRUNING NECESSARY.
I'D STILL LIKE THE OPERATION.
WELL, YOU'VE HAD THE OPERATION, YOU STRANGE PERSON.
PLEASE DO AN OPERATION.
WELL, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
BUT ONLY IF YOU'LL COME ON A CAMPING HOLIDAY WITH ME.
HE ASKED ME! HE ASKED ME!
NEXT WEEK, WE'LL BE SHOWING YOU
HOW TO PICK UP AN ARCHITECT, HOW TO PULL A PRIME MINISTER
AND HOW TO HAVE FUN WITH A WHOLESALE POULTERER.
BUT NOW, THE MEN OF THE DERBYSHIRE LIGHT INFANTRY
ENTERTAIN US WITH A PRECISION DISPLAY OF BAD TEMPER.
ATTENTION!
MY GOODNESS ME!
I AM IN A BAD TEMPER TODAY!
ALL RIGHT, TWO, THREE, DAMN, DAMN, TWO, THREE
I AM VEXED AND RATTY, TWO, THREE
AND HOPPING MAD.
AND NEXT, THE MEN OF THE SECOND ARMOURED DIVISION REGALE US
WITH THEIR FAMOUS CLOSE ORDER SWANNING ABOUT.
SQUAD... CAMP IT UP!
OOH, GET HER! WHOOPS!
I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER, DUCKY.
YOU COULDN'T AFFORD ME, DEAR, TWO, THREE.
I'LL SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT.
DON'T COME THE BRIGADIER BIT WITH US, DEAR.
WE ALL KNOW WHERE YOU'VE BEEN
YOU MILITARY FAIRY.
WHOOPS, DON'T LOOK NOW, GIRLS.
THE MAJOR'S JUST MINCED IN WITH THAT DOLLY COLOR SERGEANT.
TWO, THREE.
OOH-HO!
AND FINALLY...
GOD, IF THEY DON'T STOP, I'LL KILL MYSELF.
I SWEAR, I WILL.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!
FOR THREE DAYS AND NIGHTS
THE DISPLACED EYEBALL PLUMMETED EARTHWARD
UNTIL...
OH!
WHAT'S THIS?
KEEP LOW, KEEP DOWN, DON'T LAG BEHIND.
COME ON, EVERYBODY, THAT'S RIGHT.
KEEP CLOSE, THAT'S RIGHT.
WATCH OUT FOR THE KILLER CARS.
VROOM!
YES, THE KILLER CARS.
FOR YEARS, THE CITY HAD BEEN PLAGUED
BY EVER-INCREASING PEDESTRIAN CONGESTION.
IN AN ATTEMPT TO ELIMINATE THIS PROBLEM
CERTAIN FANATICAL CARS
HAD TAKEN THE LAW INTO THEIR OWN HANDS.
VROOM, VROOM!
VROOM!
V-V-VROOM.
BUT THE DAYS OF THE KILLER CARS WERE NUMBERED
THANKS TO THE MIRACLE OF ATOMIC MUTATION.
VROOM!
OH, THANK YOU!
YOU'VE SAVED OUR CITY!
BUT AT WHAT COST?
OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
YOU'VE SAVED OUR CITY.
OF COURSE, THERE WERE THOSE WHO CHOSE TO LEAVE TOWN.
THIS, THEN, IS THE STORY OF TWO OF THEM.
MORNING, SIR, CAN I HELP YOU?
YES, WE'VE BOOKED ON YOUR FLIGHT FOR AMERICA.
OH, WE DON'T FLY TO AMERICA.
OH! THE AMERICAN FLIGHT.
ON THE PLANE... OH, YES.
OH, WE DO THAT, ALL RIGHT.
SAFE AS HOUSES, NO NEED FOR PANIC.
IS IT REALLY 37 AND SIX?
30 BOB... I'M ROBBING MYSELF.
30 BOB?
TWENTY-FIVE.
TWO QUID THE PAIR OF YOU.
THAT'S WITHOUT INSURANCE.
WELL, HOW MUCH IS IT WITH INSURANCE?
102 QUID.
THAT'S INCLUDING THE FLIGHT.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?
UH, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY... NO IDEA.
SIX HOURS.
SIX?
FIVE... TEN FOR THE PAIR OF YOU.
OH, IS IT A JET?
UH... WELL, NO.
IT'S NOT SO MUCH A JET.
IT'S MORE YOUR TRIUMPH HERALD ENGINE WITH WINGS.
WHEN ARE YOU TAKING OFF?
3300 HOURS.
WHAT?
2600 HOURS FOR THE PAIR OF YOU.
WHAT?
HAVE THE INJECTIONS, YOU WON'T CARE.
WHAT INJECTIONS?
BARLEY SUGAR INJECTIONS; CALM YOU DOWN.
THEY'RE COMPULSORY, BOARD OF TRADE, PROMISE.
OH, I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF INJECTIONS.
HELLO, YES, RIGHT.
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE YOUR MIND UP STRAIGHT AWAY
IF YOU'RE COMING OR NOT.
YES.
RIGHT, YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR MIND.
I'LL RING THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE.
HELLO?
TWO MORE ON THE WAY, MRS. TURPIN.
AH.
NOW, THE DUTY-FREE TROLLEY IS OVER THERE.
THERE'S SOME LOVELY DROP SCONES
AND SOME DUTY-FREE BROCCOLI
AND THERE'S FRESH ECCLES CAKES.
YOU'RE ALLOWED 200 EACH ON THE PLANE.
THE VERRIFAST PLANE COMPANY ANNOUNCE
THE DEPARTURE OF FLIGHT ONE TO OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY.
WILL PASSENGERS FOR FLIGHT ONE
PLEASE ASSEMBLE AT GATE ONE.
PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED
THAT THERE IS STILL PLENTY OF TIME
TO BUY ECCLES CAKES.
NEARLY READY.
WILL PASSENGERS PLEASE GET READY
FOR THEIR BARLEY SUGAR INJECTIONS.
TODAY WE ALL TAKE VOW.
TODAY WE SMASH THE ENEMY FLEET!
WE... SMASH... SMASH!
THAT'S MR. KAMIKAZE, THE PILOT.
HE'S VERY NICE, REALLY
BUT MAKE SURE HE STAYS CLEAR OF BATTLESHIPS.
THERE HAVE BEEN MANY STIRRING TALES TOLD OF THE SEA
AND ALSO SOME FAIRLY UNINTERESTING ONES
ONLY MARGINALLY CONNECTED WITH IT, LIKE THIS ONE.
SORRY, THIS ISN'T A VERY GOOD ANNOUNCEMENT, SORRY.
AND HERE IS THE RESULT
OF THE "WHERE TO PUT EDWARD HEATH'S STATUE" COMPETITION.
THE WINNER WAS A MR. IVY NORTH
WHO WINS TEN GUINEAS AND A VISIT TO THE SAILORS' QUARTERS.
THAT WAS LAST YEAR'S REENACTMENT OF THE BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR
PERFORMED BY THE BATLEY TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD.
IT WAS WRITTEN, DIRECTED AND PRODUCED BY MRS. RITA FAIRBANKS.
HELLO AGAIN.
AND WHAT ARE YOUR LADIES
GOING TO DO FOR US THIS YEAR?
WELL, THIS YEAR WE DECIDED TO REENACT
SOMETHING WITH A MORE MODERN FLAVOR.
WE HAD CONSIDERED
A VERSION OF MICHAEL STEWART'S SPEECH ON NIGERIA
AND THERE WERE SEVERAL VOTES ON THE COMMITTEE
FOR A STAGING OF HERR WILLY BRANDT'S VISIT TO EAST GERMANY.
BUT WE'VE SETTLED INSTEAD
FOR A DRAMATIZATION OF THE FIRST HEART TRANSPLANT.
INCIDENTALLY, MY SISTER MADGE WILL BE PLAYING
THE PLUCKY LITTLE SPRINGBOK PIONEER DR. CHRISTIAN BARNARD.
WELL, OFF WE GO, THEN
WITH THE BATLEY TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD REENACTMENT
OF THE FIRST HEART TRANSPLANT.
THE FIRST HEART TRANSPLANT.
BUT THIS IS NOT THE ONLY OPEN-AIR PRODUCTION HERE
THAT HAS USED THE SEA.
THE THEATRICAL MANAGERS IN THIS AREA
HAVE NOT BEEN SLOW TO APPRECIATE
THE SEA'S TREMENDOUS DRAMATIC VALUE.
AND SOMEWHERE OUT IN THIS BAY IS
THE FIRST UNDERWATER PRODUCTION OF MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
SERVANT HO!
FINE.
THE UNDERWATER VERSION OF MEASURE FOR MEASURE.
AND FURTHER OUT TO SEA
HELLO, DOLLY! IS ALSO DOING GOOD BUSINESS.
AND OVER THERE ON THE OYSTER BEDS, FORMULA TWO CAR RACING.
THE ARMPITS.
THE BOTTOM TWO- THIRDS OF THE NAPE OF THE NECK.
THE NIPPLE.
And that concludes this week's episode
of How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body
adapted for radio
by Ann Haydon-Jones and her husband, Pip.
And now we present the first episode
of a new radio drama series
The Death of Mary Queen of Scots.
Part one, the beginning.
You are Mary Queen of Scots?
I am.
Episode two of The Death of Mary Queen of Scots
can be heard on Radio 4 almost immediately.
I think she's dead.
No, I'm not.
That was Episode 2 of The Death of Mary Queen of Scots
adapted for the radio by Bernard Hollowood and Brian London.
And now, Radio 4 will explode.
WE'LL HAVE TO WATCH THE TELLY, THEN.
YES.
WELL, WHAT'S ON THE TELEVISION, THEN?
LOOKS LIKE A PENGUIN.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT'S ON THE TELEVISION SET
I MEANT WHAT PROGRAM!
OH.
OOH.
FUNNY THAT PENGUIN BEING THERE, INNIT?
WHAT'S IT DOING THERE?
STANDING.
I CAN SEE THAT!
IF IT LAYS AN EGG...
IT WILL FALL DOWN THE BACK
OF THE TELEVISION SET.
WE'LL HAVE TO WATCH THAT.
MMM.
UNLESS IT'S A MALE.
OOH, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.
YES, LOOKS FAIRLY BUTCH.
PERHAPS IT COMES FROM NEXT DOOR.
PENGUINS DON'T COME FROM NEXT DOOR.
THEY COME FROM THE ANTARCTIC!
BURMA!
WHY DID YOU SAY "BURMA"?
I PANICKED.
OH.
PERHAPS IT'S FROM THE ZOO.
WHICH ZOO?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHICH ZOO?
I'M NOT DR. BLOODY BRONOWSKI!
HOW DOES DR. BRONOWSKI KNOW
WHICH ZOO IT CAME FROM?
HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
OH, I WOULDN'T LIKE THAT.
IT WOULD TAKE THE MYSTERY OUT OF LIFE.
ANYWAY, IF IT CAME FROM THE ZOO
IT WOULD HAVE "PROPERTY OF THE ZOO"
STAMPED ON IT.
NO, IT WOULDN'T.
THEY DON'T STAMP ANIMALS "PROPERTY OF THE ZOO."
YOU COULDN'T STAMP A HUGE LION.
THEY STAMP THEM WHEN THEY'RE SMALL.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY MOLT?
LIONS DON'T MOLT.
NO, BUT PENGUINS DO.
THERE, I'VE RUN RINGS ROUND YOU LOGICALLY.
OH, INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN.
It's just gone 8:00
and time for the penguin on top of your television set
to explode.
HOW DID HE KNOW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?
It was an inspired guess.
And now...
THE SHIN.
REGINALD MAUDLING'S SHIN.
THE BRAIN.
MARGARET THATCHER'S BRAIN.
MORE NAUGHTY BITS.
THE NAUGHTY BITS OF THE CABINET.
THE INTERIOR OF A COUNTRY HOUSE.
THAT'S NOT A PART OF THE BODY.
NO, IT'S A LINK, THOUGH.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS VERY GOOD.
NO, IT'S THE END OF THE SERIES.
THEY MUST BE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS.
ALL RIGHT, DON'T ANYBODY MOVE.
THERE'S BEEN A MURDER.
A MURDER?
NO, NO, NOT MURDER, NO.
WHAT'S LIKE A MURDER BUT BEGINS WITH "B"?
BIRMINGHAM?
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
BURNLEY?
BURNLEY, THAT'S RIGHT.
BURNLEY IN LANCASHIRE.
THERE'S BEEN A BURNLEY.
BURGLARY!
BURGLARY.
YES, GOOD MAN.
BURGLARY... THAT'S IT, OF COURSE.
THERE'S BEEN A BURGLARY.
WHERE?
IN THE BACK, JUST BELOW THE RIB.
NO, THAT'S MURDER.
OH, NO... IN THE, UH, THE BAND.
IN THE BAT... BARCLAYS BAT.
BARCLAYS BANK?
YES, NASTY BUSINESS.
GOT AWAY WITH £23,000.
ANY CLUES?
ANY WHAT?
WELL, ANY EVIDENCE AS TO WHO DID IT?
ANY CLUES, EH?
OH, WE DON'T HALF TALK POSH, DO WE?
I SUPPOSE WE SAY "EHNVELOPE"
AND "LARNGERIE"
AND "SARNDWICHES ON THE SETTEE."
WELL, THIS IS A MURDER INVESTIGATION, YOUNG MAN
AND MURDER IS A VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS A BURGLARY.
BURGLARY IS ALMOST AS SERIOUS A BUSINESS AS MURDER.
SOME BURGLARIES ARE MORE SERIOUS THAN MURDER.
A BURGLARY IN WHICH SOMEONE GETS STABBED IS MURDER.
SO DON'T COME THESE PETTY DISTINCTIONS WITH ME.
YOU'RE AS BAD AS A JUDGE.
RIGHT! NOW, THE FIRST THING TO DO
IN THE EVENT OF A BREACH OF A PEACE OF ANY KIND
IS TO GO AND...
SORRY, SORRY, I WAS MILES AWAY.
RING THE POLICE?
RING THE POLICE.
YES, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
GET THEM OVER HERE FAST.
NO, ON SECOND THOUGHTS
GET THEM OVER HERE SLOWLY
SO THEY DON'T DROP ANYTHING.
SHALL I MAKE US ALL A CUP OF TEA?
MAKE WHAT YOU LIKE, BOSKOVITCH.
IT WON'T HELP YOU IN COURT.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
I'M SORRY, SORRY.
THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH BEING ON TWO CASES AT ONCE.
I KEEP THINKING I'VE GOT BOSKOVITCH CORNERED
WHEREAS IN FACT, I'M INVESTIGATING A BURNLEY.
BURGLARY.
YES... GOOD MAN.
WHO'S... WHO'S BOSKOVITCH?
HA!
BOSKOVITCH IS A RUSSIAN SCIENTIST
WHO'S PASSING INFORMATION TO THE RUSSIANS.
CLASSIFIED INFORMATION?
OH, THERE HE GOES AGAIN.
"CLASSIFIED INFORMATION"?
OH, SITTING ON THE SETTEE
WITH OUR SCONES AND OUR CLASSIFIED INFORMATION?
AH, HELLO, DUCKIE.
HELLO, SIR, HOW ARE YOU?
FINE, THANKS, HOW ARE YOU?
WELL, SIR
I'M A LITTLE BIT MOODY TODAY, SIR.
WHY IS THAT, DUCKIE?
BECAUSE...
ETCETERA, ETCETERA.
LOVELY SONG.
AND THAT'S THE FINAL ENTRY
LA DERNIERE ENTREE, DAS FINAL ENTRY.
AND NOW, GUTEN ABEND.
DIE SCORES, DER SCORES, LES SCORES, DEL SCORES.
OH, SCORES... HA! SCORES!
YES, MONACO IS THE WINNER.
HA! MONACO IS THE LINNER.
OH, YES, MAN, MONACO'S WON DE BIG PRIZE, BWANA.
AND NOW, HERE IS CHIEF INSPECTOR JEAN-PAUL ZATAPATHIQUE
WITH THE WINNING SONG, ONCE AGAIN.
AND SO, INSPECTOR ZATAPATHIQUE
THE FORENSIC EXPERT FROM THE MONACO MURDER SQUAD
SINGS HIS SONG, "BING TIDDLE TIDDLE BONG."
QUOI? QUOI?
TOUT LE MONDE, QUOI?
POURQUOI?
LE MONDE EST ROND...
MAIS...
MAIS JE NE SAIS PAS...
VRAIMENT...
D'HABITUDE...
MAIS...
JE...
PENSE...
[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
THE END.
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll