1
00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,649
COME ON.
2
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:53,962
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...
3
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,372
IT'S...
4
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:03,109
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
5
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
6
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,608
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR THE CHANGE
7
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,272
MR. TOBACCONIST.
8
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:35,781
WAS THAT ALL RIGHT?
9
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,146
SHH! SHH!
10
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:57,530
UH... HAH...
11
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,698
I WILL NOT BUY THIS RECORD.
12
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,207
IT IS SCRATCHED.
13
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,607
SORRY?
14
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:07,545
I WILL NOT BUY THIS RECORD.
15
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,104
IT IS SCRATCHED.
16
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:10,376
NO, NO, NO.
17
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,007
THIS... TOBACCONIST'S.
18
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,212
AH!
19
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,815
I WILL NOT BUY
THIS TOBACCONIST'S.
20
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:19,722
IT IS SCRATCHED.
21
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,056
NO, NO, NO, NO.
22
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,721
TOBACCO.
UM... CIGARETTES.
23
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,059
YAH.
YEAH?
24
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,724
YAH. CIGARETTES. YAH.
25
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,062
UH... UH... YAH.
26
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:31,002
MY HOVERCRAFT IS FULL OF EELS.
27
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,572
MY HOVERCRAFT...
28
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:36,905
IS FULL OF EELS.
29
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,410
MATCHES. MATCHES.
30
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:41,208
YAH, YAH,
YAH, YAH, YAH.
31
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,181
DO YOU WANT...
32
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:45,184
DO YOU WANT...
33
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,516
TO COME BACK
TO MY PLACE...
34
00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,043
BOUNCY BOUNCY?
35
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,885
I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE USING THAT RIGHT.
36
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,415
YOU GREAT POOF.
37
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,928
UM... THAT'LL BE SIX AND SIX,
PLEASE.
38
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,592
IF I SAID
YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL BODY
39
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,658
WOULD YOU HOLD IT AGAINST ME?
40
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,739
I-I AM NO LONGER INFECTED.
41
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,764
UM... MAY I? MAY I?
42
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,275
YAH, YAH, YAH.
43
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,777
IT COSTS
SIX AND SIX...
44
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,369
COSTS SIX AND... AH!
45
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,776
HERE WE ARE. UM...
46
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,805
YANDELVA YASNA GRLDENWI
47
00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:18,373
STRA VENKA.
48
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,151
WHAT'S GOING
ON HERE, THEN?
49
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,650
AH! YOU HAVE
BEAUTIFUL THIGHS.
50
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,992
WHAT?
51
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,327
HE HIT ME.
52
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,026
DROP YOUR PANTIES,
SIR WILLIAM.
53
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,658
I CANNOT WAIT
TILL LUNCHTIME.
54
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:09,998
RIGHT!
55
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,526
MY NIPPLES
56
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,198
EXPLODE WITH DELIGHT.
57
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,508
CALL ALEXANDER YAHLT.
58
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,778
OH, SHUT UP!
59
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,846
YOU ARE
ALEXANDER YAHLT?
60
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,357
OH, I AM.
61
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,360
SKIP THE
IMPERSONATIONS.
62
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,759
YOU ARE
ALEXANDER YAHLT?
63
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,092
I AM.
64
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,392
YOU ARE HEREBY CHARGED
65
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,193
THAT ON THE 28th DAY OF MAY,
1970
66
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,396
YOU DID WILLFULLY, UNLAWFULLY,
AND WITH MALICE AFORETHOUGHT
67
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:46,097
PUBLISH AN ALLEGED
ENGLISH/HUNGARIAN PHRASE BOOK
68
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,401
WITH INTENT
69
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,407
TO CAUSE A BREACH
OF THE PEACE.
70
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,409
HOW DO YOU PLEAD?
71
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:51,535
NOT GUILTY.
72
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,239
YOU LIVE AT 46 HORTON TERRACE?
73
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,872
I DO LIVE AT 46 HORTON TERRACE.
74
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,405
YOU ARE THE DIRECTOR
OF A PUBLISHING COMPANY?
75
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,075
I AM THE DIRECTOR
OF A PUBLISHING COMPANY.
76
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:00,608
YOUR COMPANY
PUBLISHES PHRASE BOOKS?
77
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:02,211
MY COMPANY DOES PUBLISH
PHRASE BOOKS.
78
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,745
YOU DID SAY 46 HORTON TERRACE,
DID YOU?
79
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:04,347
YES.
80
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,685
HAH! GOT HIM!
81
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,920
GET ON WITH IT.
82
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,222
GET ON WITH IT.
83
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,559
YES, M'LORD.
84
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,325
ON THE 28th DAY OF MAY
85
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,799
YOU PUBLISHED
THIS PHRASE BOOK.
86
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,165
I DID.
87
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:17,829
I QUOTE AN EXAMPLE.
88
00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:19,770
THE HUNGARIAN PHRASE
MEANING
89
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,172
"CAN YOU DIRECT ME
TO THE STATION"
90
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,642
IS TRANSLATED
BY THE ENGLISH PHRASE
91
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,338
"PLEASE FONDLE MY BUM."
92
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:31,077
I WISH TO PLEAD INCOMPETENCE.
93
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,917
PLEASE, MAY I ASK FOR
AN ADJOURNMENT, M'LORD?
94
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,149
ADJOURNMENT? CERTAINLY NOT.
95
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,529
WHY ON EARTH DIDN'T YOU SAY
WHY YOU WANTED AN ADJOURNMENT?
96
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:50,093
I DIDN'T KNOW AN ACCEPTABLE
LEGAL PHRASE, M'LORD.
97
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:57,072
IF THERE'S ANY MORE STOCK FILM
OF WOMEN APPLAUDING
98
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,736
I SHALL CLEAR THE COURT.
99
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,406
CALL ABIGAIL TESLER.
100
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,110
M'LORD, THIS
IS ABIGAIL TESLER.
101
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:05,810
IS IT?
102
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,251
YES, M'LORD.
103
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:09,345
23-YEAR-OLD ABIGAIL
HAILS FROM DOWN UNDER
104
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:11,185
WHERE THEY'RE
UPSIDE DOWN ABOUT HER.
105
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,351
THOSE AUSSIES CERTAINLY
KNOW A THING OR TWO
106
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,017
WHEN IT COMES TO BEACH BELLES.
107
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:18,155
BET SOME LIFESAVER WOULDN'T MIND
GIVING HER THE KISS OF LIFE.
108
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,097
SO WATCH OUT FOR THE SHARKS,
ABIGAIL.
109
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,191
Journalist
"IS THIS STRICTLY RELEVANT?"
110
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,499
QUIZZED LEARNED LOVELY,
JUSTICE MALTRA VERS.
111
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:26,528
78-YEAR-OLD JUSTICE
HAILS FROM ESHER
112
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:28,938
AND HE'S BEEN MAKING
A BIG NAME FOR HIMSELF
113
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,738
AT THE RECENTASSIZES
AT EXETER.
114
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:33,176
"ALL WILL BE
REVEALED SOON, M'LORD"
115
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:36,375
QUIPPED TALL, 42-YEAR-OLD
NELSON BEDOWES, CUTIE Q.C.
116
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,076
NELSON'S KEEN ON NEGLIGENCE
117
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:40,483
AND GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM
AT GRAY'S INN.
118
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,215
AND WITH CASES LIKE HE'S WON
119
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,655
WE BET GRAY'S IN
WHEN NELSON'S AROUND.
120
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,317
"WELL, GET ON WITH IT"
121
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,725
ADMITTED 78-YEAR-OLD
GENIAL JURISPRUDE MALTRA VERS
122
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,628
SEEN HERE AT LONDON AIRPORT
ON HIS WA Y TO JUDGE FOR BRITAIN
123
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,962
AT THE FAMOUS INTERNATIONAL
COURTAT THE HAGUE.
124
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,968
GET OFF!
125
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,670
GOOD EVENING.
126
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,008
TONIGHT IS INDEED
A UNIQUE OCCASION
127
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:15,013
IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION.
128
00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,777
WE ARE VERY PRIVILEGED
AND DEEPLY HONORED
129
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,411
TO HAVE WITH US IN THE STUDIO
KARL MARX
130
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,216
FOUNDER OF MODERN SOCIALISM
131
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:24,745
AND AUTHOR
OF THE COMMUNISTMANIFESTO.
132
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,189
VLADIMIR ILICH ULYANOV
133
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:28,386
BETTER KNOWN TO THE WORLD
AS LENIN
134
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:31,954
LEADER OF THE RUSSIAN
REVOLUTION, WRITER, STATESMAN
135
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,659
AND FATHER OF MODERN COMMUNISM.
136
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,394
CHE GUEVARA
137
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,129
THE CUBAN GUERRILLA LEADER
138
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,898
AND MAO TSE TUNG
139
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:42,237
LEADER OF THE CHINESE
COMMUNIST PARTY SINCE 1949.
140
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:45,971
AND THE FIRST QUESTION
IS FOR YOU, KARL MARX.
141
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,445
"THE HAMMERS."
142
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:51,540
"'THE HAMMERS' IS THE NICKNAME
OF WHAT ENGLISH FOOTBALL TEAM?"
143
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,117
THE HAMMERS?
144
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,214
NO? WELL, BAD LUCK THERE, KARL.
145
00:10:58,257 --> 00:10:59,849
SO WE GO ON TO YOU, CHE.
146
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,484
CHE GUEVARA.
147
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:05,395
"COVENTRY CITY LAST WON
THE F.A. CUP IN WHAT YEAR?"
148
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,296
NO?
149
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,891
I'LL THROW IT OPEN.
150
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:12,961
"COVENTRY CITY LAST WON
THE F.A. CUP IN WHAT YEAR?"
151
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,838
NO? WELL, I'M NOT SURPRISED
YOU DIDN'T GET THAT.
152
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,775
IT WAS IN FACT A TRICK QUESTION.
153
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:20,301
COVENTRY CITY HAVE NEVER WON
THE F.A. CUP.
154
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,211
SO, WITH THE SCORES
ALL EQUAL NOW
155
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,875
WE GO ON TO OUR SECOND ROUND
156
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,111
AND, LENIN,
IT'S YOUR STARTER FOR TEN.
157
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:28,347
"TEDDY JOHNSON
AND PEARL CARR
158
00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:31,584
"WON THE EUROVISION
SONG CONTEST IN 1959.
159
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,058
WHAT WAS THE NAME
OF THE SONG?"
160
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:38,057
TEDDY JOHNSON
AND PEARL CARR'S SONG
161
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:40,031
IN THE 1959
SONG CONTEST?
162
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,397
ANYBODY? NO?
163
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,164
YES, MAO TSE-TUNG.
164
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,763
"SING LITTLE BIRDIE"?
165
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,330
YES, IT WAS INDEED.
166
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,932
WELL CHALLENGED.
167
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:55,405
WELL, NOW WE COME ON
TO OUR SPECIAL GIFT SECTION.
168
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,439
THE CONTESTANT IS KARL MARX
169
00:11:57,516 --> 00:12:01,145
AND THE PRIZE THIS WEEK
IS A BEAUTIFUL LOUNGE SUITE.
170
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:06,383
NOW, KARL HAS ELECTED
TO ANSWER QUESTIONS
171
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:09,189
ON THE WORKERS' CONTROL
OF FACTORIES
172
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,662
SO HERE WE GO
WITH QUESTION NUMBER ONE.
173
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,324
YOU NERVOUS?
174
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:16,960
"THE DEVELOPMENT
OF THE INDUSTRIAL PROLETARIAT
175
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:20,199
IS CONDITIONED
BY WHAT OTHER DEVELOPMENT?"
176
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,707
THE DEVELOPMENT
OF THE INDUSTRIAL BOURGEOISIE.
177
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,209
YES. YES. YES, INDEED.
178
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,103
YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY
TO YOUR LOUNGE SUITE, KARL.
179
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:31,249
"THE STRUGGLE
OF CLASS AGAINST CLASS
180
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,409
IS A WHAT STRUGGLE?"
181
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:33,418
"A WHAT STRUGGLE?"
182
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:34,578
A POLITICAL STRUGGLE.
183
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,587
YES. YES.
184
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,287
ONE FINAL QUESTION, KARL
185
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,884
AND THE BEAUTIFUL LOUNGE SUITE
WILL BE YOURS.
186
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,257
YOU GOING TO HAVE A GO?
187
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:43,352
YOU'RE A BRAVE MAN.
188
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,158
KARL MARX,
YOUR FINAL QUESTION:
189
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:47,791
"WHO WON THE CUP FINAL
IN 1949?"
190
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:51,132
UH... THE WORKERS CONTROL
THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION.
191
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,661
THE STRUGGLE
OF THE URBAN PROLETARIAT.
192
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,174
NO. IT WAS IN FACT
WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS
193
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:57,641
WHO BEAT LEICESTER 3-1.
194
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,932
AH. THANK YOU.
195
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,369
JUST THE WORD
I WAS LOOKING FOR.
196
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,373
"I WONDER," SAID LA FARGE
197
00:13:28,407 --> 00:13:30,534
"JUST HOW MUCH MOLINEUX."
198
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:31,702
HEY!
199
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,838
THAT'S THE BAD JOKES.
200
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,348
AND NOW A BIT OF FUN.
201
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,757
JENKINS?
202
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,159
YES, SARGE?
203
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,857
WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN
YOU GET BACK TO BLIGHTY?
204
00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,160
I DON'T KNOW, SARGE.
205
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,394
I 'SPECT I'LL BE LOOKING
AFTER ME MUM.
206
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,266
SHE'LL BE GETTING ON
A BIT NOW.
207
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:33,203
GOT FAMILY OF YOUR
OWN, HAVE YOU?
208
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,331
NO, SHE'S...
209
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,102
SHE'S ALL I GOT LEFT NOW.
210
00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:38,006
MY WIFE DOREEN, SHE...
211
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,340
I GOT A LETTER.
212
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,175
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TELL ME, SON.
213
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,078
NO, SARGE, I'D LIKE
TO TELL YOU.
214
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,309
SEE... THIS PLACE...
215
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,374
HOLD IT!
216
00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:46,679
HOLD IT!
217
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,654
LOOK, LOVES, CAN ANYONE
NOT INVOLVED IN THIS SCENE
218
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:50,916
PLEASE LEAVE THE SET?
219
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,218
NOW, COME ON. PLEASE.
220
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,283
ANYONE NOT CONCERNED
IN THIS SCENE.
221
00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:55,918
THE CANTEEN'S OPEN
UPSTAIRS.
222
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:57,223
NOW, COME ON, PLEASE.
223
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:58,560
SORRY, LOVES, SORRY.
224
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,589
WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT AGAIN
FROM THE TOP, ALL RIGHT?
225
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,601
OKAY.
226
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:03,624
CUE!
227
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,264
HOLD IT!
228
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:09,274
HOLD IT!
229
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,969
NOW, WHO CHANGED THE CAPTION?
230
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,807
CAN WHOEVER CHANGED THE CAPTION
231
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:15,245
PUT THE RIGHT ONE BACK
IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE?
232
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:18,682
RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, WE'LL
TAKE IT AGAIN FROM THE TOP. CUE.
233
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:22,721
HOLD IT!
234
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,983
HOLD IT!
235
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,615
COME ON, COME ON,
OUT OF THERE!
236
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:26,750
YOU'RE NOT IN THIS.
237
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,783
YOU'RE JUST HOLDING
THE WHOLE THING UP.
238
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:29,885
COME ON, PLEASE.
239
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,692
IT'S NO GOOD, LOVES,
IT'S NO GOOD.
240
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:33,357
WE'LL HAVE TO LEAVE
IT FOR NOW.
241
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,799
COME BACK WHEN EVERYONE'S
SETTLED DOWN A BIT.
242
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,564
SO THAT MEANS WE GO OVER TO
THE ART ROOM, ALL RIGHT?
243
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,764
SO, CUE CAMERA THREE.
244
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,575
SORRY! CAMERA FOUR.
245
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,270
AREN'T THEY MARVELOUS?
246
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:46,278
YES, YES.
247
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,405
THE STRENGTH AND BOLDNESS...
248
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,348
LIFE AND POWER
IN THOSE COLORS.
249
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,510
THIS MUST BE
TITIAN'S MASTERPIECE.
250
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:56,521
OH, INDEED, IF ONLY FOR
THE COMPOSITION ALONE.
251
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,887
THE STRENGTH
OF THOSE FOREGROUND FIGURES
252
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:00,789
THE FIRMNESS OF THE LINE.
253
00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:04,626
YES, THE CONFIDENCE OF A MASTER
AT THE HEIGHT OF HIS POWERS.
254
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,266
YES?
255
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,004
HELLO, SONNY.
YOUR DAD IN?
256
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:20,306
YES.
257
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:21,711
COULD I SPEAK
TO HIM, PLEASE?
258
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,214
IT'S THE MAN
FROM "THE HAY-WAIN."
259
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:24,374
WHO?
260
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:26,509
THE MAN FROM "THE HAY-WAIN"
BY CONSTABLE.
261
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,520
DAD! IT'S THE MAN
FROM "THE HAY-WAIN"
262
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:29,885
BY CONSTABLE
TO SEE YOU.
263
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:30,911
COMING.
264
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,389
HELLO.
265
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:43,901
HOW ARE YOU?
COME ON IN.
266
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,335
OH, NO, NO.
CAN'T STOP.
267
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,032
JUST PASSING BY, ACTUALLY.
268
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,562
OH. WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
269
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:50,006
WELL MAY YOU ASK.
270
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,533
WE'VE JUST BEEN MOVED IN
NEXT TO A ROOMFUL OF BRUEGELS.
271
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:55,103
TERRIBLE BLOODY DIN...
SKATING ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT.
272
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,944
ANYWAY, I'VE JUST DROPPED IN
TO TELL YOU
273
00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:58,973
THERE'S BEEN A WALKOUT
IN THE IMPRESSIONISTS.
274
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,542
WALKOUT, EH?
275
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,952
YEAH. IT STARTED WITH
THE DEJEUNER SUR L'HERBE LOT.
276
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:04,455
EVIDENTLY, THEY WERE MOVED AWAY
277
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,185
FROM ABOVE THE RADIATOR
OR SOMETHING.
278
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,022
ANYWAY, THE IMPRESSIONISTS
ARE ALL OUT.
279
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,824
GAINSBOROUGH'S BLUE BOY'S BROUGHT OUT
THE 18th-CENTURY ENGLISH PORTRAITS
280
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,457
THE FLEMISH SCHOOL'S SOLID, AND THE
GERMAN WOODCUTS ARE AT A MEETING NOW.
281
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,558
RIGHT. WELL, I'LL GET
THE RENAISSANCE SCHOOL OUT.
282
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,592
OKAY. MEETING 4:30...
"BRIDGE AT ARLES."
283
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,160
OKAY. CHEERIO.
GOOD LUCK, SON.
284
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,364
GOOD LUCK.
285
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,701
RIGHT. EVERYBODY OUT!
286
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,674
I'M OFF.
287
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,074
I'M OFF.
288
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,543
I'M OFF.
289
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,740
I'M OFF.
290
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,307
I'M OFF, DEAR.
291
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,376
I'M OFF.
292
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,284
I'M OFF, TOO.
293
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,552
I'M OFF.
294
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:40,785
Here is the news.
295
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,293
By an almost unanimous vote
296
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:44,124
paintings
in the National Gallery
297
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:45,721
voted to continue the strike
298
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:48,028
that has emptied frames
for the last week.
299
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,126
The man from Constable's
"The Hay-Wain"
300
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,364
said last night
that there was no chance
301
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,964
of a return to the pictures
before the weekend.
302
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:58,101
Sir Kenneth Clarke has said
he will talk to any painting
303
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,771
if it can help bring
a speedy end to the strike.
304
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,575
At Sotheby's,
prices dropped dramatically
305
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,982
as leading figures
left their paintings.
306
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,680
WHAT AM I BID FOR VERMEER'S
307
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,120
"LADY WHO USED TO BE
AT A WINDOW"?
308
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,350
DO I HEAR TWO BOB?
309
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,356
TWO BOB!
310
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,619
GONE.
311
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:17,185
NOW WHAT AM I BID
FOR ANOTHER GREAT BARGAIN...
312
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:19,220
EDWIN LANDSEER'S
"NOTHING AT BAY"?
313
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,492
ALL WE BLOODY WANT
314
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,194
IS A LITTLE BIT
OF BLOODY CONSULTATION.
315
00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:27,137
AT A MASS MEETING
AT BRENTFORD FOOTBALL GROUND
316
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,970
OTHER WORKS OF ART
VOTED TO COME OUT
317
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:32,203
IN SUPPORT OF THE PAINTINGS.
318
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:34,212
THE VOTE WAS UNANIMOUS...
319
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:36,976
WITH ONE ABSTENTION.
320
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:38,573
Meanwhile at Television Centre
321
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,949
work began again
on a sketch about Ypres.
322
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:43,955
A spokesman for the sketch
said he fully expected it
323
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:45,820
to be more sensible this time.
324
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:55,798
JENKINS?
325
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:56,823
YES, SARGE?
326
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:57,893
WHAT YOU GONNA DO
327
00:18:57,936 --> 00:18:59,403
WHEN YOU GET BACK
TO BLIGHTY?
328
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,904
I DON'T KNOW, SARGE.
329
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,338
I 'SPECT I'LL LOOK
AFTER ME MUM.
330
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:03,874
SHE'LL BE GETTING ON
A BIT NOW.
331
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:06,207
GOT A FAMILY OF
YOUR OWN, HAVE YOU?
332
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:08,975
NO. SHE-SHE'S ALL
I GOT LEFT NOW.
333
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,811
MY WIFE DOREEN, SHE...
334
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:12,248
I GOT A LETTER.
335
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,751
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TELL ME, SON.
336
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,343
NO, SARGE,
I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU.
337
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:17,480
YOU SEE, THIS BLOKE
FROM UP THE STREET...
338
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:18,581
OKAY, CHAPS.
339
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:19,989
AT EASE.
340
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:21,720
I'VE JUST BEEN
UP THE LINE.
341
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,250
CAN WE GET
THROUGH, SIR?
342
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:24,353
NO. I'M AFRAID
WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE
343
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,452
A BREAK FOR IT
AT NIGHTFALL.
344
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:26,464
RIGHT, SIR.
345
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:27,465
WE'RE ALL WITH YOU.
346
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,488
YES, I KNOW.
347
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,024
THAT'S JUST THE
PROBLEM, SERGEANT.
348
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:31,262
HOW MANY ARE
THERE OF US?
349
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,294
WELL, SIR, THERE'S
YOU, ME, JENKINS
350
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,329
PADRE, KIPPER...
THERE'S FIVE, SIR.
351
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,604
AND ONLY RATIONS
FOR...
352
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:41,045
FOUR, SIR.
353
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,068
PRECISELY.
354
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,741
I'M AFRAID ONE OF US
355
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:46,842
WILL HAVE TO TAKE
THE OTHER WAY OUT.
356
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,289
I'M A GONER, MAJOR.
357
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,383
LEAVE ME.
358
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:56,986
I'M... I'M NOT
A COMPLETE MAN ANYMORE.
359
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,862
YOU'VE LOST BOTH
YOUR ARMS AS WELL.
360
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:00,887
YES.
361
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,030
DAMN SILLY, REALLY.
362
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:05,900
NO, NO, WE'LL DRAW FOR IT.
363
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,702
THAT'S THE WAY WE DO
THINGS IN THE ARMY.
364
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:09,707
SERGEANT, THE STRAWS.
365
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:10,833
RIGHTO.
366
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:14,504
ALL RIGHT.
367
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,743
NOW, THE MAN WHO GETS
THE SHORTEST STRAW
368
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:20,217
KNOWS WHAT TO DO.
369
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,947
LOOKS LIKE
370
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:22,919
YOU, SIR.
371
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,684
IS IT? OH, WHAT DID WE SAY...
372
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,418
"THE LONGEST STRAW," WAS IT?
373
00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:27,958
NO. SHORTEST, SIR.
374
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,426
WELL, WE BETTER
DO IT AGAIN.
375
00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:31,622
THERE'S OBVIOUSLY BEEN
A BIT OF A MUDDLE.
376
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:32,652
THERE WE GO.
377
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:41,564
BEST OF THREE?
378
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:51,976
RIGHT.
379
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:56,420
WELL, I GOT
THE SHORTEST STRAW, SO...
380
00:20:56,455 --> 00:21:00,255
I DECIDE WHAT MEANS WE USE
TO DECIDE WHO'S GOING TO DO...
381
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:03,193
TO-TO-TO, UH, TO, UH,
TO DO THE THING...
382
00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:04,855
TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
383
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:07,990
NOW, RANK DOESN'T ENTER
INTO THIS.
384
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,934
BUT OBVIOUSLY, IF I SHOULD
GET THROUGH THE LINES
385
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:15,303
I'LL BE IN A VERY GOOD POSITION
TO RECOMMEND ANYONE VERY HIGHLY
386
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:17,171
FOR A POSTHUMOUS V.C.
387
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,680
NO? GOOD, FINE.
388
00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:29,118
FINE, FINE,
FINE, FINE.
389
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:31,748
RIGHT.
390
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:35,191
DIP, DIP,
DIP, MY LITTLE SHIP
391
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,661
SAILS ON THE OCEAN,
YOU ARE...
392
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:38,788
NO, NO, WAIT
A MINUTE.
393
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:41,663
UM... I-I-I MUST HAVE
MISSED OUT A DIP.
394
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:42,689
WE'LL START AGAIN.
395
00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:46,670
DIP, DIP, DIP, DIP,
MY LITTLE SHIP
396
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,570
SAILS ON THE OCEAN,
YOU ARE...
397
00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:50,165
NO, THIS IS NOT
WORKING OUT.
398
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:51,607
IT-IT'S NOT
WORKING OUT.
399
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,201
UH, WHAT-WHAT
SHALL WE DO?
400
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,213
HOW ABOUT
ONE POTATO, TWO POTATO, SIR?
401
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,874
DON'T BE CHILDISH,
JENKINS.
402
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:59,645
NO, UM, I THINK-
I THINK FISTIES
403
00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:01,346
WOULD BE BEST.
404
00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:04,116
OKAY? SO, UH,
HANDS BEHIND BACKS.
405
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:07,182
AFTER "THREE," OKAY?
406
00:22:07,225 --> 00:22:10,661
ONE, TWO, THREE!
407
00:22:11,730 --> 00:22:13,357
NOW, WHAT'S THIS?
408
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:16,333
UH, STONE, STONE, STONE
AND SCISSORS.
409
00:22:16,368 --> 00:22:19,565
NOW, UH, SCISSORS
CUT EVERYTHING, DON'T THEY?
410
00:22:19,604 --> 00:22:20,696
NOT STONES, SIR.
411
00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:22,730
THEY'RE VERY GOOD
SCISSORS.
412
00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:27,106
AND PADRE
HASN'T BEEN!
413
00:22:27,145 --> 00:22:28,942
NO ARMS, SIR.
414
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,572
OH, I'M
TERRIBLY SORRY.
415
00:22:30,615 --> 00:22:32,845
I-I-I-I'M AFRAID
I DIDN'T, UM...
416
00:22:32,884 --> 00:22:35,580
TELL YOU WHAT...
ALL THOSE PEOPLE
417
00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:37,747
WHO DON'T WANT
TO STAY HERE
418
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:40,986
AND SHOOT THEMSELVES.
RAISE THEIR ARMS.
419
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:43,689
STOP IT! STOP IT!
420
00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:46,163
STOP THIS... THIS
HIDEOUS FACADE.
421
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,688
E... EASY, PADRE.
422
00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:49,030
NO, NO, I MUST SPEAK.
423
00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:50,432
WHEN I... WHEN I CAME
424
00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:52,436
TO THIS WAR, I HAD TWO ARMS...
TWO GOOD ARMS
425
00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:54,698
BUT WHEN THE TIME CAME TO...
TO LOSE ONE, I...
426
00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:56,139
I GAVE IT... I GAVE IT GLADLY.
427
00:22:58,176 --> 00:22:59,905
I SMILED AS THEY CUT IT OFF
428
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:03,210
BECAUSE I KNEW THERE WAS
A FUTURE FOR MANKIND. I...
429
00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:05,648
I KNEW THERE WAS HOPE
430
00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:09,051
SO LONG AS MEN WERE PREPARED
TO GIVE THEIR LIMBS!
431
00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:12,989
AND WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR ME
TO GIVE MY OTHER ARM, I...
432
00:23:13,024 --> 00:23:14,548
I GAVE IT GLADLY, I...
433
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:17,289
I SANG AS THEY SAWED IT OFF,
BECAUSE I BELIEVED...
434
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:19,354
OH, YOU MAY LAUGH!...
435
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:22,890
BUT I BELIEVED
WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BODY
436
00:23:22,934 --> 00:23:26,028
WITH EVERY DROP OF RAIN
THAT FALLS
437
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,632
A... A FLOWER GROWS.
438
00:23:29,674 --> 00:23:32,370
AND THAT FLOWER...
439
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:36,347
THAT SMALL, AGILE,
DELICATE FLOWER...
440
00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:38,611
SHALL BURST FORTH
441
00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:40,641
TO GIVE A NEW LIFE
442
00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:42,277
A NEW STRENGTH!
443
00:24:00,906 --> 00:24:04,467
...THERE IS FREEDOM...
FREEDOM FROM FEAR
444
00:24:04,509 --> 00:24:07,740
FREEDOM FROM OPPRESSION
AND FREEDOM FROM TYRANNY.
445
00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:11,306
A WORLD WHERE MEN AND WOMEN
OF ALL RACES AND CREEDS
446
00:24:11,349 --> 00:24:13,044
CAN LIVE TOGETHER IN COMMUNION.
447
00:24:13,084 --> 00:24:15,314
AND THEN IN THE TWILIGHT
OF THIS LIFE
448
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:17,947
OUR CHILDREN
AND OUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN...
449
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:20,349
OUR PATIENTS HERE
450
00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:22,622
ARE SUFFERING
FROM SEVERE OVERACTING.
451
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:23,628
ARGH! JIM, LAD!
452
00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:26,358
ARGH! JIM, LAD!
453
00:24:26,398 --> 00:24:29,561
WHEN THEY'RE BROUGHT IN,
THEY'RE ALL REALLY OVER THE TOP.
454
00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:32,832
IT'S OUR JOB TO TRY AND TREAT
THE CONDITION OF OVERACTING.
455
00:24:32,871 --> 00:24:34,498
RATHER SERIOUS.
456
00:24:34,539 --> 00:24:37,667
THIS IS THE RICHARD III WARD.
457
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:47,414
A HORSE. A HORSE.
458
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:50,387
MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE.
459
00:24:50,422 --> 00:24:52,913
MOST OF THESE CASES
ARE PRETTY UNPLEASANT.
460
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:54,016
A HORSE!
461
00:24:54,059 --> 00:24:55,117
NURSE?
462
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,184
A HORSE!
463
00:24:56,228 --> 00:24:57,820
MY KINGDOM FOR...
464
00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:01,463
BUT THE TREATMENT DOES WORK
WITH SOME PEOPLE.
465
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:02,592
THIS CHAP CAME TO US
466
00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:04,761
STRAIGHT FROM THE
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL.
467
00:25:04,803 --> 00:25:08,136
WE OPERATED JUST IN TIME,
AND NOW HE'S ALMOST NORMAL.
468
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,038
A HORSE, A HORSE.
469
00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:11,633
MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE.
470
00:25:16,481 --> 00:25:20,144
ARGH! ARGH!
ARGH! ARGH!
471
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,484
ARGH! ARGH!
ARGH! ARGH!
472
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:26,355
BUT, UH, IN HERE,
WE HAVE SOME VERY NASTY
473
00:25:26,391 --> 00:25:28,291
CASES, INDEED.
474
00:25:28,326 --> 00:25:32,353
TO BE OR NOT TO BE.
475
00:25:32,397 --> 00:25:35,798
THAT IS THE QUESTION.
476
00:25:38,503 --> 00:25:40,403
TO BE...
TO BE...
477
00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:41,404
OH.
OH.
478
00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:10,698
GOOD EVENING.
479
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:15,001
FIRST, TAKE A BUNCH OF FLOWERS:
480
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,704
PRETTY BEGONIAS, IRISES,
FREESIAS
481
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:22,508
AND CRY-MANTHESUMS.
482
00:26:22,547 --> 00:26:24,242
THEN...
483
00:26:24,282 --> 00:26:26,216
ARRANGE THEM...
484
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:27,718
NICELY...
485
00:26:27,752 --> 00:26:29,344
IN A VASE!
486
00:26:29,387 --> 00:26:31,321
OH, GET IN!
487
00:26:31,356 --> 00:26:32,789
GET IN!
488
00:26:32,824 --> 00:26:35,622
GET IN! OH!
489
00:26:38,296 --> 00:26:39,354
SHH!
490
00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:45,795
MORNING.
491
00:26:45,837 --> 00:26:47,532
MORNING!
492
00:26:47,572 --> 00:26:49,164
WHAT YOU GOT, THEN?
493
00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:51,607
WELL, THERE'S EGG AND BACON.
494
00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:53,611
UH, EGG, SAUSAGE AND BACON.
495
00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:54,976
EGG AND SPAM.
496
00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:56,844
EGG, BACON AND SPAM.
497
00:26:56,881 --> 00:26:59,816
EGG, BACON, SAUSAGE
AND SPAM.
498
00:26:59,851 --> 00:27:01,910
SPAM, BACON, SAUSAGE AND SPAM.
499
00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:04,547
SPAM, EGG, SPAM, SPAM,
BACON AND SPAM.
500
00:27:04,589 --> 00:27:06,022
SPAM, SPAM
501
00:27:06,057 --> 00:27:07,854
SPAM, EGG AND SPAM.
502
00:27:07,892 --> 00:27:11,487
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM,
SPAM, BAKED BEANS
503
00:27:11,529 --> 00:27:13,156
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM
AND SPAM.
504
00:27:13,198 --> 00:27:16,258
OR LOBSTER THERMIDOR
AUX CREVETTES WITH MORNAY SAUCE
505
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:19,702
GARNISHED WITH TRUFFLE PATE,
BRANDY, AND A FRIED EGG ON TOP
506
00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:20,864
AND SPAM.
507
00:27:20,905 --> 00:27:23,567
HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING
WITHOUT SPAM IN IT?
508
00:27:23,608 --> 00:27:25,769
WELL, SPAM, EGG, SAUSAGE
AND SPAM.
509
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:27,710
IT'S NOT GOT MUCH SPAM IN IT.
510
00:27:27,746 --> 00:27:29,043
I DON'T WANT ANY SPAM!
511
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,742
WHY CAN'T SHE HAVE
EGG, BACON, SPAM AND SAUSAGE?
512
00:27:31,783 --> 00:27:33,045
THAT'S GOT SPAM IN IT!
513
00:27:33,084 --> 00:27:35,552
NOT AS MUCH AS SPAM,
EGG, SAUSAGE AND SPAM.
514
00:27:35,587 --> 00:27:39,318
LOOK, COULD I HAVE EGG,
BACON, SPAM AND SAUSAGE
515
00:27:39,357 --> 00:27:40,517
WITHOUT THE SPAM?
516
00:27:40,558 --> 00:27:41,388
UGH!
517
00:27:41,459 --> 00:27:42,983
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "UGH"?
518
00:27:43,028 --> 00:27:44,393
I DON'T LIKE SPAM!
519
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:54,505
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
520
00:27:57,308 --> 00:27:59,674
YOU CAN'T HAVE EGG,
BACON, SPAM AND SAUSAGE
521
00:27:59,711 --> 00:28:00,769
WITHOUT THE SPAM.
522
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,074
WHY NOT?!
523
00:28:02,113 --> 00:28:04,547
WELL, IT WOULDN'T BE EGG,
BACON, SPAM AND SAUSAGE
524
00:28:04,582 --> 00:28:05,549
WOULD IT?
525
00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:06,948
I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!
526
00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:09,647
OH, DON'T MAKE A FUSS, DEAR.
I'LL HAVE YOUR SPAM.
527
00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:11,883
I LOVE IT! I'M HAVING
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM...
528
00:28:13,625 --> 00:28:14,990
...SPAM, BAKED BEANS,
SPAM, SPAM AND SPAM!
529
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:16,015
BAKED BEANS ARE OFF.
530
00:28:16,061 --> 00:28:17,824
WELL, CAN I HAVE
SPAM INSTEAD?
531
00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:19,454
YOU MEAN SPAM, SPAM,
SPAM, SPAM...
532
00:28:23,568 --> 00:28:24,762
UGH!
533
00:28:26,004 --> 00:28:28,268
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
534
00:28:28,306 --> 00:28:30,604
"OH, GREAT BOOBIES, HONEY BUN.
535
00:28:30,642 --> 00:28:33,133
"MY LOWER INTESTINE IS FULL
OF SPAM, EGG, SPAM, BACON...
536
00:28:37,115 --> 00:28:38,207
SHUT UP!
537
00:28:38,249 --> 00:28:39,580
"MY NIPPLES EXPLODE..."
538
00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:43,720
ANOTHER GREAT VIKING VICTORY
539
00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:45,985
WAS AT THE GREEN MIDGET CAFE
IN BROMLEY.
540
00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:48,390
ONCE AGAIN, THE VIKING STRATEGY
WAS THE SAME.
541
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:50,052
THEY SAILED
FROM THESE FJORDS HERE
542
00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:51,289
ASSEMBLED AT TRONDHEIM
543
00:28:51,329 --> 00:28:53,092
AND WAITED FOR THE STRONG
NORTHEASTERLY WINDS
544
00:28:53,131 --> 00:28:54,723
TO BLOW THEIR OAKEN GALLEYS
TO ENGLAND
545
00:28:54,766 --> 00:28:56,529
WHENCE THEY SAILED
ON MAY THE 23rd.
546
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:59,560
ONCE IN BROMLEY, THEY ASSEMBLED
IN THE GREEN MIDGET CAFE
547
00:28:59,604 --> 00:29:01,765
AND SPAM SELECTING A SPAM
PARTICULAR SPAM ITEM
548
00:29:01,806 --> 00:29:03,171
FROM THE SPAM MENU WOULD...
549
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,077
SHUT UP!
550
00:29:33,505 --> 00:29:37,339
HAAGBARD ETHELDRONGA
AND HIS VIKING HORDES
551
00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:40,071
ARE CURRENTLY APPEARING
IN GRIN AND PILLAGE IT
552
00:29:40,111 --> 00:29:42,045
AT THE JODRELL THEATRE,
COLWYN BAY.
553
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,605
THE DIRTY HUNGARIAN PHRASE BOOK
IS AVAILABLE
554
00:29:44,649 --> 00:29:46,378
FROM HER MAJESTY'S
STATIONERY OFFICE.
555
00:29:46,417 --> 00:29:48,510
PRICE... A KISS ON THE BUM.
556
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll