1
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:20,181
I, ERIC, UM...
2
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,291
AND NOW...
3
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:26,690
IT'S...
4
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:35,431
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
5
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
6
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,190
MICHAEL NORMAN RANDALL
7
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,060
YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND GUILTY
8
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:09,728
OF THE MURDER
OF ARTHUR REGINALD WEBSTER
9
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:12,863
CHARLES PATRICK TRUMPINGTON
10
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:18,401
MARCEL AGNES BERNSTEIN,
LEWIS ANONA RUDD
11
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,936
JOHN MALCOLM KERR
12
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:27,078
NIGEL SINCLAIR ROBINSON,
NORMAN ARTHUR POTTER
13
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,748
FELICITY JAYNE STONE
14
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:36,194
JEAN-PAUL REYNARD,
RACHEL SHIRLEY DONALDSON
15
00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:39,221
STEPHEN JAY GREENBLATT
16
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,893
KARL-HEINZ MULLER
17
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,495
BELINDA ANNE VENTHAM
18
00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:47,404
JUAN-CARLOS FERNANDEZ
19
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,102
THOR OLAF STENSGAARD
20
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:53,408
LORD KIMBERLEY OF PRETORIA
21
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,609
LADY KIMBERLEY OF PRETORIA
22
00:01:56,649 --> 00:02:00,278
THE RIGHT HONOURABLE
NIGEL WARMSLEY KIMBERLEY
23
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:06,816
ROBERT HENRY NOONAN
AND FELIX JAMES BENNETT
24
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:11,763
ON OR ABOUT THE MORNING
OF THE 19th OF DECEMBER, 1972.
25
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,767
HAVE YOU ANYTHING TO SAY
BEFORE I PASS SENTENCE?
26
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,666
YES, SIR. I'M VERY SORRY.
27
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,603
"VERY SORRY"?!
28
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:21,266
YES, SIR. IT WAS A VERY,
VERY BAD THING TO HAVE DONE
29
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,605
AND I'M REALLY VERY ASHAMED
OF MYSELF.
30
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,305
I CAN ONLY SAY
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
31
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:29,406
TO HAVE MURDERED SO MANY PEOPLE
IN SUCH A SHORT SPACE OF TIME
32
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,041
IS REALLY AWFUL
33
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:34,144
AND I REALLY AM VERY,
VERY, VERY SORRY THAT I DID IT
34
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,984
AND ALSO THAT I'VE
TAKEN UP SO MUCH
35
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:37,421
OF THE COURT'S
VALUABLE TIME
36
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,015
LISTENING TO THE SORDID DETAILS
37
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,787
OF THESE SENSELESS
KILLINGS OF MINE.
38
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,294
I'D PARTICULARLY LIKE TO SAY
39
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,660
A VERY PERSONAL AND SINCERE
SORRY TO YOU, M'LORD
40
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:47,757
FOR MY APPALLING BEHAVIOR
THROUGHOUT THIS TRIAL.
41
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,064
I'D ALSO LIKE TO SAY
SORRY, TOO, FOR THE POLICE
42
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,071
FOR PUTTING THEM
TO SO MUCH TROUBLE...
43
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,971
FOR THE LITERALLY HOURS OF
WORK THEY'VE HAD TO PUT IN
44
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,066
COLLECTING EVIDENCE
45
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,168
AND IDENTIFYING CORPSES
AND SO FORTH.
46
00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:00,839
YOU KNOW, I THINK SOMETIMES
WE OUGHT TO REALIZE
47
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,007
THE DIFFICULT
AND OFTEN DANGEROUS WORK
48
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:06,041
INVOLVED IN TRACKING DOWN
VIOLENT CRIMINALS LIKE MYSELF
49
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:07,950
AND I'D JUST LIKE THEM TO KNOW
50
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,784
THAT THEIR FINE WORK IS AT
LEAST APPRECIATED BY ME.
51
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:10,811
OH, NO, NO.
52
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,222
WE WERE ONLY
DOING OUR JOB.
53
00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:13,247
NO, NO, REALLY.
54
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:14,920
THAT'S VERY GOOD
OF YOU TO SAY THAT
55
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,895
BUT I KNOW WHAT
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH.
56
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,591
OH, NO, NO.
WE'VE HAD WORSE.
57
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,622
IT WAS PLAIN SAILING,
APART FROM THE ARREST.
58
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,100
I KNOW AND
I'M GRATEFUL.
59
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,002
I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE, TOO,
TO THE PROSECUTING COUNSEL
60
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,472
FOR DRAGGING HIM IN HERE
MORNING AFTER MORNING
61
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:28,735
IN SUCH LOVELY WEATHER.
62
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,970
WELL, I WOULD HAVE HAD
TO COME IN ANYWAY.
63
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:34,446
AH, GOOD. BUT WHAT
A PRESENTATION OF A CASE.
64
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,708
OH. THANK YOU.
65
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,581
OH, NO. IT'S A PRIVILEGE
TO WATCH YOU IN ACTION.
66
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:39,778
I NEVER HAD A CHANCE.
67
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:40,877
OH, YES, YOU DID.
68
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,683
OH, NOT AFTER THAT
SUMMING UP. GREAT.
69
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,950
OH. THANK YOU.
70
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,617
AND NOW I MUST COME
TO THE JURY.
71
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:46,784
WHAT CAN I SAY?
72
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:49,124
I'VE DRAGGED YOU IN HERE
DAY AFTER DAY
73
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,254
KEEPING YOU AWAY
FROM YOUR HOMES
74
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:52,889
YOUR JOBS,
YOUR LOVED ONES
75
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,900
JUST TO HEAR
THE PRIVATE DETAILS
76
00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:56,458
OF MY PETTY ATROCITIES.
77
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,491
NO, NO.
78
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:58,834
IT WAS VERY
INTERESTING.
79
00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:00,304
BUT YOU COULD HAVE HAD
A MUCH NICER CASE.
80
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,604
OH, NO, NO, NO.
MURDER'S MUCH MORE FUN.
81
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,269
YES. AND SO MANY OF THEM.
82
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:05,277
EXCELLENT.
83
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:07,074
WE'VE HAD A TERRIFIC TIME.
84
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,111
I'M SORRY. I'M VERY MOVED.
85
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:11,673
SO, M'LORD IT ONLY REMAINS
86
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,516
FOR YOU TO PASS THE MOST SAVAGE
SENTENCE ON ME
87
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,112
THAT THE LAW CAN PROVIDE.
88
00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,055
WELL, UH, NOT NECESSARILY.
89
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,151
UH, NO, M'LORD. THE FULL PENALTY
OF THE LAW IS HARDLY SUFFICIENT.
90
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,025
I INSIST I MUST BE MADE
AN EXAMPLE OF.
91
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:24,324
WELL, YES AND NO.
92
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,389
I MEAN, SOCIETY AT LARGE...
93
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,456
OH, NO, M'LORD!
94
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,797
NOT WITH MASS MURDER.
95
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,666
OH, BUT IN THIS CASE,
DON'T YOU THINK?
96
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:31,897
YES, YES.
97
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:32,905
OH, COME ON, M'LORD!
98
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,031
YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE ME LIFE.
99
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,734
NO!
NO. NO.
100
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,174
WELL, TEN YEARS AT LEAST.
COME ON.
101
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,710
TEN YEARS?
102
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:39,905
SHAME, SHAME.
103
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:40,970
WELL, FIVE THEN.
BE FAIR.
104
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:41,981
NO, NO,
NO, NO.
105
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,539
I'M GIVING YOU THREE MONTHS.
106
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:46,051
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S
SO EMBARRASSING.
107
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,416
I WON'T HEAR OF IT.
108
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,182
GIVE ME SIX. PLEASE.
109
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,985
WELL... ALL RIGHT.
110
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,184
SIX MONTHS.
111
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:52,952
THANK YOU, M'LORD.
112
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,186
BUT SUSPENDED.
113
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,283
OH!
114
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,062
THREE CHEERS
FOR THE DEFENDANT!
115
00:04:58,097 --> 00:04:59,064
HIP-HIP...
116
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,065
HOORAY!
117
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:01,088
HIP-HIP...
118
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,101
HOORAY!
119
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,102
HIP-HIP...
120
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,194
HOORAY!
121
00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:31,222
IT'S NO GOOD, SPIDER.
122
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,925
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE
THAT EASILY.
123
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:34,592
WE'RE COMING IN
AFTER YOU.
124
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,443
THIS WAY, DAVIS.
125
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,856
HMM. WE'D BEST SEPARATE.
126
00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:01,382
I'M GOING DOWN THERE.
127
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,452
YOU CHECK THE
RIGHT VENTRICLE.
128
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,997
ANY SIGN OF HIM, DAVIS?
129
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,403
WHY, NO. NOTHING HERE.
130
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:14,497
ALL RIGHT.
131
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,565
WE'LL CHECK THE SPLEEN.
132
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:25,408
WAIT!
133
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,782
OH, MY GOD! HE'S DOWN
THE BACK OF US!
134
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,152
QUICK! WE'VE GOT
TO CATCH HIM
135
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,816
BEFORE HE
REACHES THE NECK.
136
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,098
OH, NO.
TOO LATE, DAVIS!
137
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,193
HE'S GOT OUT!
138
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,438
OH! HE'S EATING!
139
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,236
RUN FOR IT!
140
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,316
AH!
141
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,451
OH, MY GOD!
142
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,085
WE'RE HERE
IN THE STOMACH!
143
00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:10,117
OH...
144
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:27,471
THIS LITTLE-KNOWN
ICELANDIC SAGA
145
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:31,347
WRITTEN BY AN UNKNOWN HAND
IN THE LATE 13th CENTURY
146
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:34,648
HAS REMAINED UNDISCOVERED
UNTIL TODAY.
147
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:37,781
NOW IT COMES TO YOUR SCREENS
FOR THE FIRST TIME
148
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,657
FRESH FROM THE LEAVES
OF ICELAND'S HISTORY.
149
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:43,662
THE TERRIBLE NJORL'S SAGA...
150
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,061
IT'S NOT THAT TERRIBLE.
151
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,758
NO, I MEANT
TERRIBLY VIOLENT.
152
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:47,891
OH, YEAH.
153
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:48,923
YEAH.
154
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:56,003
ERIK NJORL, SON OF FROTHGAR
155
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,533
LEAVES HIS HOME TO SEEK
HANGAR THE ELDER
156
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,240
AT THE HOUSE
OF THORVALD NLODVISSON
157
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,838
THE SON OF GUDLEIF
158
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:07,376
HALF-BROTHER OF THORGIER,
THE PRIEST OF LJOSA WATER
159
00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:10,581
WHO TOOK TO WIFE THURUNN,
THE MOTHER OF THORKEL BRAGGART
160
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,648
THE SLAYER OF GUDMUND
THE POWERFUL
161
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:16,651
WHO KNEW HOWAL, SON OF GEERNON,
SON OF ERIK FROM VADALESC
162
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,187
SON ARVAL GRISTLEBEARD,
SON OF HARKEN
163
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,666
WHO KILLED BJORTGUAARD
IN SOCHNADALE IN NORWA Y
164
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,965
OVER GUDREED, DAUGHTER
OF THORKEL LONG
165
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,402
THE SON OF KETTLE-TROUT
166
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,530
THE HALF-SON
OF HARVIYOUN HALF-TROLL
167
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,336
FATHER OF INGBARE THE BRAVE
168
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:31,002
WHO WED ISENBERT
OF GOTTENBERG
169
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,943
THE DAUGHTER OF HANGBARD
THE FIERCE...
170
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:35,311
WE APOLOGIZE
FOR AN ERROR IN THE SAGA.
171
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,408
EVIDENTLY THORGIER,
THE PRIEST OF LJOSA WATER
172
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:41,351
WHO TOOK TO WIFE THURUNN,
THE MOTHER OF THORKEL BRAGGART
173
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:43,287
THE SLAYER
OF GUDMUND THE POWERFUL
174
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:46,257
WHO KNEW HOWAL, SON OF GEERNON,
SON OF ERIK FROM VADALESC...
175
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,227
WELL, I'M AFRAID
WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
176
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,753
GETTING THIS VERY EXCITING
ICELANDIC SAGA STARTED.
177
00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:53,697
IF ANY OF YOU AT HOME
HAVE ANY IDEAS
178
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,099
ABOUT HOW TO GET THIS
EXCITING SAGA STARTED AGAIN
179
00:08:57,803 --> 00:08:59,395
HELP THE EXCITING
ICELANDIC SAGA
180
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:03,135
18-B MacNORTEN BUILDINGS, OBAN.
181
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:12,442
HELLO, UM, WELL
182
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,918
I WAS THE THIRD VOICE
YOU HEARD JUST NOW.
183
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,286
UH, I'M SORRY
ABOUT THAT TERRIBLE MESS.
184
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,620
IT WASN'T ALL THAT TERRIBLE.
185
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:20,922
NO, NO, I MEANT TERRIBLE
IN THE SENSE OF UNFORTUNATE.
186
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:21,551
OH.
187
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:22,686
ANYWAY, UM, OUR PLEA
188
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,457
FOR ASSISTANCE HAS BEEN ANSWERED
189
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,896
BY THE NORTH MALDEN
ICELANDIC SAGA SOCIETY
190
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:30,232
WHO'VE GIVEN US SOME VERY USEFUL
INFORMATION ABOUT THE SAGA
191
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,601
AND SO WE CARRY ON NOW
WITH "N JORL'S SAGA"
192
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:34,435
WITH OUR THANKS GOING ONCE AGAIN
193
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,873
TO THE NORTH MALDEN
ICELANDIC SAGA SOCIETY.
194
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,241
ERIK NJORL, SON OF FROTHGAR
195
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,439
RODE OFF
INTO THE DESOLATE PLAIN.
196
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:50,053
DAY AND NIGHT HE RODE
197
00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,250
LOOKING NEITHER
TO RIGHT NOR LEFT
198
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,623
STOPPING NEITHER
FOR FOOD NOR REST.
199
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:58,096
12 DAYS AND NIGHTS HE RODE,
THROUGH RAIN AND STORM
200
00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,688
THROUGH WIND AND SNOW
201
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,962
BEYOND THE ENCHANTED WATERFALL
202
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,491
THROUGH THE ELFIN GLADES
203
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,332
UNTIL HE REACHED HIS GOAL.
204
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,269
HE HAD FOUND
THE RICH AND PLEASANT LAND
205
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,607
BEYOND THE MOUNTAINS...
206
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:14,272
THE LAND WHERE GOLDEN STREAMS
207
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:17,407
SANG THEIR WA Y
THROUGH FRESH, GREEN MEADOWS
208
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,247
WHERE THERE WERE
HALLS AND PALACES
209
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,650
AN EXCELLENT SWIMMING POOL
210
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:22,278
AND ONE OF THE MOST ATTRACTIVE
211
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:23,515
BONUS INCENTIVE SCHEMES
212
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:26,251
FOR INDUSTRIAL DEVELOPMENT
IN THE CITY.
213
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,260
ONLY 15 MILES FROM EXCELLENT
214
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,989
THAMES-SIDE DOCKING FACILITIES
215
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,463
AND WITHIN EASY REACH
OF THE PROPOSED M25.
216
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:35,433
HERE IT WAS THAT ERIC NJORL,
SON OF FROTHGAR
217
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,662
MET THE MAYOR
218
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:40,001
MR. ARTHUR HUDDINUT,
A LOCAL SOLICITOR.
219
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,337
WELCOME TO NORTH MALDEN.
220
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,343
YES, EVERYONE IS WELCOME
TO NORTH MALDEN
221
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,902
BUT NONE MORE SO THAN THE
BUSINESSMEN AND INVESTORS
222
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,709
WHO SHAPE OUR SOCIETY
OF THE FUTURE.
223
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,010
HERE AT NORTH MALDEN...
224
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,484
AND WE APOLOGIZE
TO VIEWERS OF NJORL'S SAGA
225
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,714
WHO MAY BE CONFUSED
226
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,780
BY SO MANY REFERENCES
TO NORTH MALDEN.
227
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,553
AND AFTER A FRANK EXCHANGE
OF VIEWS, WE HAVE AGREED
228
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,027
TO CARRY ON SHOWING
THIS VERSION SUPPLIED TO US
229
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:05,223
BY THE NORTH MALDEN
ICELANDIC SAGA SOCIETY
230
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,232
ON THE UNDERTAKING
THAT FUTURE SCENES
231
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:08,494
WILL ADHERE MORE CLOSELY
232
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:10,525
TO THE SPIRIT
OF 12th CENTURY ICELAND.
233
00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:16,806
WITH MOIST EYES,
ERIC LEAVES THIS HAPPY LAND
234
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,572
TO RETURN TO THE HARSH
UNECONOMIC REALITIES
235
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,807
OF LIFE IN THE LAND
OF LJOSA WATERS.
236
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,975
ON HIS WAY,
ERIC RESTED A WHILE
237
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:28,714
IN THE LAND OF BJORNSSTRAND...
THE LAND OF DARK FORCES
238
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:31,245
WHERE GILDOR WAS KING.
239
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,586
THESE WERE THE DUKES
OF THE LAND OF BJORNSSTRAND.
240
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:40,131
PROUD WARRIORS
WHO BORE ON THEIR CHESTS
241
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,225
THE LETTERS
OF THEIR DREAD NAME.
242
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,032
Uh, hello?
243
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,736
Is that the North Malden
Icelandic Society?
244
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:51,800
Yes, that's right.
245
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:52,833
It's about this saga.
246
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,072
Oh, yes, the
Icelandic saga.
247
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,080
Yes.
Good, isn't it?
248
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:56,342
Well, uh,
well, I don't know
249
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,213
but, I mean, you promised us
that you would stick
250
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,547
to the spirit
of the original text.
251
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:00,950
Yes, that's right.
252
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:03,045
Well, I mean, a lot of these
things that are happening...
253
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,784
I mean, well, they just
don't quite ring true.
254
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,291
Well, it's a new
interpretation, really.
255
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,553
Well, we didn't want
a new int...
256
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:08,958
I mean, we wanted
the proper thing.
257
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,552
I mean, just look
what's happening now.
258
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:11,790
Banners were a
very important part
259
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:12,889
of Icelandic
lore, Mr. Mills.
260
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,194
Well, then, I mean,
no, no, I'm sorry.
261
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,860
I just can't accept that.
It's gone too far.
262
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,131
I'm very sorry, but we'll have
to terminate the agreement.
263
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,296
Oh!
264
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:20,930
Well, you're just trying
to cash in
265
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,634
on the BBC's
exciting Icelandic saga.
266
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,970
That's business,
Mr. Mills.
267
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,135
Well, that's as may be
268
00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:26,804
but it's not the way
the BBC works.
269
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,609
Well, I'm very sorry
you feel that way
270
00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:30,274
but, uh, you know,
if you ever want
271
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,340
to come to Malden...
272
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,155
8:00 IS A PEAK VIEWING HOUR
273
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,853
SO NATURALLY, WE TEND TO STICK
TO OUR COMEDY OUTPUT.
274
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,521
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
THERE'S SPORT
275
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:45,587
BECAUSE, OF COURSE,
WE KNOW THIS IS POPULAR
276
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,656
AND POPULARITY
IS WHAT TELEVISION IS ABOUT.
277
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,258
QUITE FRANKLY,
I'M SICK AND TIRED
278
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:51,667
OF PEOPLE ACCUSING US
OF BEING RATINGS CONSCIOUS.
279
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:52,762
"RATINGS CONSCIOUS"?
280
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,636
TRANSMITTING BLAND GARBAGE,
M'LORD.
281
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:55,799
MMM. THANK YOU.
282
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:57,035
NOW I'M REALLY CHEESED OFF!
283
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:59,044
I MEAN, IT'S NOT
YOUR HIGHBROW, BLEEDING PLAYS
284
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,545
THAT PULL IN THE VIEWERS,
YOU KNOW.
285
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:01,443
THANK YOU.
286
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,674
I MEAN, JOE PUBLIC
287
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,205
DOESN'T WANT TO SIT DOWN
AND WATCH THREE HOURS
288
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,274
OF DOCUMENTARIES EVERY EVENING.
289
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:06,614
THANK YOU.
HE WANTS TO SIT DOWN
290
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:07,880
AND HE WANTS TO BE ENTERTAINED!
291
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,046
HE DOESN'T WANT A LOAD OF...
292
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:11,682
NO, REALLY!
I'M ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH IT!
293
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,850
I REALLY AM!
CASE DISMISSED.
294
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,461
"CASE DISMISSED," M'LORD?
295
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:18,360
ALL RIGHT... FIVE YEARS.
296
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:20,058
THANK YOU, M'LORD.
297
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,657
CALL THE NEXT
CASE, PLEASE.
298
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,190
CALL ERIK NJORL
299
00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:27,069
SON OF FROTHGAR,
BROTHER OF HANGNOR...
300
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,698
CALL ERIK NJORL
301
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:32,837
SON OF FROTHGAR,
BROTHER OF HANGNOR...
302
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,709
CALL ERIK NJORL
303
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,681
SON OF FROTHGAR,
BROTHER OF HANGNOR...
304
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:58,036
...THE SLAYER
OF GUDMUND'S SON...
305
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:03,097
YOU ARE ERIK NJORL,
SON OF FROTHGAR...
306
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:04,507
GET ON WITH IT.
307
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,568
WOULD YOU RAISE
YOUR RIGHT HAND?
308
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:09,445
HE OBVIOUSLY CAN'T
RAISE HIS RIGHT HAND
309
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:11,278
YOU SILLY USHER PERSON.
310
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:14,252
CAN YOU RAISE YOUR RIGHT LEG,
MR. NJORL?
311
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:18,581
CAN YOU RAISE ANY PART
OF YOUR BODY, MR. NJORL?
312
00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:25,393
I SEE. WELL,
WE'LL SKIP THAT.
313
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,762
WELL, JUST
TAKE THE BOOK
314
00:14:26,832 --> 00:14:28,424
IN YOUR RIGHT
HAND, MR. NJORL
315
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,731
WITHOUT RAISING ANY
PART OF YOUR BODY.
316
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:31,758
OH.
317
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:32,997
WHAT IS IT NOW
318
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:35,006
YOU PERSISTENTLY SILLY USHER?
319
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,769
HE CAN'T HOLD THE BIBLE, M'LORD.
320
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,036
OH, SCREW THE BIBLE!
321
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,341
LET'S GET ON
WITH THIS BLEEDING TRIAL!
322
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,404
I'VE GOT A GAY LIB MEETING
AT 6:00.
323
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,940
SUPERINTENDENT LUFTHANSA,
WILL YOU PLEASE READ THE CHARGE?
324
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,783
IS A CHARGE STRICTLY NECESSARY,
M'LORD?
325
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,119
THE PRESS IS HERE.
326
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:52,282
OH! OH, SORRY.
327
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,484
UM...
328
00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:54,924
RIGHT! HERE WE GO.
329
00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:59,491
ONE, THAT YOU DID,
ON OR ABOUT 1126
330
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:02,398
CONSPIRE TO PUBLICIZE
A LONDON BOROUGH
331
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:04,595
IN THE COURSE
OF A BBC SAGA;
332
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:05,797
TWO, THAT YOU WERE
333
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:08,431
WILLFULLY AND
PERSISTENTLY A FOREIGNER;
334
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,942
THREE, THAT YOU
CONSPIRED TO DO THINGS
335
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,103
NOT NORMALLY
CONSIDERED ILLEGAL;
336
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:15,113
FOUR, THAT YOU WERE
CAUGHT IN POSSESSION
337
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,478
OF AN OFFENSIVE WEAPON
338
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,177
VIZ, THE BIG, BROWN TABLE
DOWN AT THE POLICE STATION.
339
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:22,016
THE BIG, BROWN TABLE
DOWN AT THE POLICE STATION?
340
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,614
IT'S THE BEST WE
COULD FIND, M'LORD.
341
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,625
ALL
TOGETHER NOW!
342
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,025
ASSAULTING A POLICE OFFICER!
343
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,153
THANK YOU!
344
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:33,631
CALL POLICE CONSTABLE PAN-AM.
345
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,934
INTO THE
WITNESS BOX
346
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:42,497
CONSTABLE!
347
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,204
THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF
TIME FOR THAT LATER ON.
348
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:51,375
NOW...
349
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,476
YOU ARE POLICE
CONSTABLE PAN-AM?
350
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,955
NO! I DENY THAT
TO THE LAST BREATH IN MY BODY!
351
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,718
OH! SORRY. YES.
352
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:02,124
POLICE CONSTABLE, DO YOU
RECOGNIZE THE DEFENDANT?
353
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:04,994
NO! NEVER SEEN HIM
BEFORE IN MY LIFE!
354
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,122
OH! YES! YES!
355
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,189
HE'S THE ONE!
356
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:08,256
HE DONE IT!
357
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,733
I'D RECOGNIZE
HIM ANYWHERE.
358
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:10,962
SORRY, SUPER.
359
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,130
CONSTABLE, WILL YOU
PLEASE TELL THE COURT
360
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,833
IN YOUR OWN WORDS
WHAT HAPPENED.
361
00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:17,433
OH, YES!
362
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,968
I WAS PROCEEDING
IN A NORTHERLY DIRECTION
363
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:22,844
UP ALITALIA STREET...
364
00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:25,179
WHEN I SAW THE DECEASED...
365
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:28,118
STANDING AT AN
UPSTAIRS WINDOW
366
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,815
BARING HER BOSOM
AT THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
367
00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:32,551
SHE THEN TOOK OFF HER...
368
00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:34,320
WAIT A TICK!
369
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,351
WRONG STORY.
370
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,257
OH, YES!
371
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:42,529
THERE WERE THREE NUNS
IN A RAILWAY COMPARTMENT
372
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,001
AND THE TICKET IN...
373
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,903
NO? ANYWAY, I CLEARLY
SAW THE DECEASED...
374
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:47,802
THE DEFENDANT!
375
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,137
DEFENDANT! SORRY.
376
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,163
SORRY, SUPER.
377
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,234
I CLEARLY SAW
THE DEFENDANT
378
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,541
DOING WHATEVER
HE'S ACCUSED OF
379
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,740
UH, RED-HANDED.
380
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:59,410
WHEN KICKED, UH,
CAUTIONED, HE SAID...
381
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:02,579
"IT'S A FAIR...
COP, I DONE IT ALL.
382
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:05,681
RIGHT. NO... DOUBT
ABOUT... THAT."
383
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,022
THEN, BOUND AS HE
WAS TO THE CHAIR
384
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,391
HE ASSAULTED MYSELF
385
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,225
AND THREE OTHER
CONSTABLES
386
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:13,390
WHILE BOUNCING
AROUND THE CELL.
387
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,865
THE END.
388
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,226
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
389
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,897
AND FOR MY NEXT
PIECE OF EVIDENCE...
390
00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:22,202
I-I THINK YOU'D BETTER
LEAVE IT THERE, CONSTABLE.
391
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,572
EXCELLENT EVIDENCE, CONSTABLE.
392
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,133
THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
393
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:32,249
NOW, MR. NJORL, WILL YOU
TELL THE COURT, PLEASE
394
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:35,412
WHERE WERE YOU ON
THE NIGHT OF 1126?
395
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,948
MOVE ANY PART OF YOUR BODY
396
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:43,620
IF YOU WERE NORTH OF A LINE
FROM THE HUMBER TO THE MERSEY.
397
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,298
IS HE IN THERE,
DO YOU THINK?
398
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:49,061
HELLO, HELLO, DEFENDANT?
399
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:50,261
ARE YOU THERE?
400
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,769
COO-EE!
401
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,472
I THINK WE BETTER GO
AND HAVE A LOOK, MAURICE.
402
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,998
DON'T CALL ME MAURICE
IN COURT!
403
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,140
ARE YOU IN THERE?
404
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,514
MR. NJORL?
405
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:09,644
THIS WAY, DAVIS.
406
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:11,383
HE'S NOT GETTING AWAY
THIS TIME.
407
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:15,525
WE'LL GO DOWN THERE AND
THROUGH THE LEFT LUNG.
408
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,791
IT WAS AROUND
THE LEFT LUNG THAT...
409
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,763
ONCE AGAIN,
I'VE PROVED TOO CLEVER FOR...
410
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:26,468
AND NOW, THE
STOCK MARKET REPORT
411
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:27,767
BY EXCHANGE TELEGRAPH.
412
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:30,001
TRADING WAS CRISP
AT THE START OF THE DAY
413
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:32,101
WITH SOME BRISK BUSINESS
ON THE FLOOR.
414
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:34,704
RUBBER HARDENED,
AND STRING REMAINED CONFIDENT.
415
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,441
LITTLE BITS OF TIN CONSOLIDATED
416
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:38,746
ALTHOUGH BISCUITS SANK
AFTER AN EARLY GAIN
417
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,479
AND STOOLS REMAINED ANONYMOUS.
418
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,714
ARMPITS RALLIED WELL
AFTER A POOR START.
419
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:45,222
NIPPLES ROSE DRAMATICALLY
DURING THE MORNING
420
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:47,020
BUT HAD DECLINED
BY MID-AFTERNOON
421
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:49,822
WHILE TEETH CLENCHED,
AND BUTTOCKS REMAINED FIRM.
422
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,695
SMALL, DARK, FURRY THINGS
INCREASED SEVERELY ON THE FLOOR
423
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,665
WHILST RUDE JELLIES
WOBBLED UP AND DOWN
424
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,292
AND BOUNCED
AGAINST RISING THIGHS
425
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:59,463
WHICH HAD SPREAD TO ALL PARTS
OF THE COUNTRY BY MID-AFTERNOON.
426
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,598
AFTER LUNCH,
NAUGHTY THINGS DIPPED SHARPLY
427
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,131
FORCING GIBLETS UPWARDS
WITH THE NICKY NACKY NOO.
428
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,872
TING TANG TONG RANKLED DITHELY,
LITTLE TIPPLES POOPED
429
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,277
AND POPPY THINGS WENT PONG!
430
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,405
GIBBLE GABBLE GOBBLE
431
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,439
WENT THE RICKETY RACKETY ROO,
AS THE...
432
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:15,615
EH, THAT'LL TEACH YOU
TO BE NORMAL.
433
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,030
HMM?
434
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:39,140
HMM.
435
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:42,447
HELLO, MRS. PREMISE.
436
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:44,745
HELLO, MRS. CONCLUSION.
437
00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:45,750
BUSY DAY?
438
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:48,582
BUSY? I JUST SPENT
FOUR HOURS
439
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,178
BURYING THE CAT.
440
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:52,656
FOUR HOURS TO
BURY A CAT?
441
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,454
YES. HE WOULDN'T
KEEP STILL.
442
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,984
WRIGGLING ABOUT,
HOWLING ITS HEAD OFF.
443
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,360
OH, IT WASN'T
DEAD THEN?
444
00:19:58,397 --> 00:19:59,364
WELL, NO, NO.
445
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:00,956
BUT IT'S NOT AT ALL
A WELL CAT.
446
00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:03,797
SO AS WE WERE GOING AWAY
FOR A FORTNIGHT'S HOLIDAY
447
00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:06,633
I THOUGHT I BETTER BURY IT
JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.
448
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:08,037
QUITE RIGHT.
449
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:11,372
YOU DON'T WANT TO COME BACK
FROM SORRENTO TO A DEAD CAT.
450
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,105
IT WOULD BE SO ANTICLIMACTIC.
451
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,236
YES, KILL IT NOW.
452
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,371
THAT'S WHAT I SAY.
453
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:16,108
YES.
454
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,113
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
455
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,683
TO HAVE OUR BUDGIE PUT DOWN.
456
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,878
REALLY? IS HE VERY OLD?
457
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:22,784
NO. WE JUST DON'T LIKE IT.
458
00:20:22,821 --> 00:20:24,288
WE'RE GOING
TO TAKE IT
459
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,688
TO THE VET TOMORROW.
460
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,716
TELL ME, HOW DO THEY
PUT BUDGIES DOWN THEN?
461
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,455
WELL, IT'S FUNNY
YOU SHOULD ASK THAT
462
00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:32,554
BUT I'VE JUST BEEN
READING A GREAT BIG BOOK
463
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,122
ABOUT HOW TO PUT
YOUR BUDGIE DOWN
464
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:37,396
AND APPARENTLY, YOU CAN
EITHER HIT THEM WITH A BOOK
465
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,495
OR YOU CAN SHOOT
THEM JUST THERE
466
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:40,869
JUST ABOVE THE BEAK.
467
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:41,964
JUST THERE?
YES.
468
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,133
WELL, WELL, WELL.
469
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,608
OF COURSE, MRS. ESSENCE
FLUSHED HERS
470
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:46,611
DOWN THE LOO.
471
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,545
OH, NO, YOU
SHOULDN'T DO THAT.
472
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,047
NO, THAT'S DANGEROUS.
473
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,983
YES, THEY BREED
IN THE SEWERS
474
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:55,748
AND EVENTUALLY YOU GET
EVIL-SMELLING FLOCKS
475
00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:57,152
OF HUGE,
SOILED BUDGIES
476
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,349
FLYING OUT OF
PEOPLE'S LAVATORIES
477
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:01,552
INFRINGING THEIR
PERSONAL FREEDOM.
478
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,153
GOOD MORNING,
MRS. CUT-OUT.
479
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,527
MORNING, MRS. CUT-OUT.
480
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:07,998
IT'S A FUNNY THING,
FREEDOM.
481
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,091
I MEAN
482
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:10,601
HOW CAN ANY OF US
BE REALLY FREE
483
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,570
WHEN WE STILL HAVE
PERSONAL POSSESSIONS?
484
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,696
YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T.
485
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:15,673
I MEAN, HOW CAN I GO OFF
AND JOIN FRELIMO
486
00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,402
WHEN I'VE GOT NINE
MORE INSTALLMENTS
487
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,466
TO PAY ON THE FRIDGE?
488
00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:19,602
NO, YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T.
489
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,442
WELL, THIS, OF COURSE,
IS THE WHOLE CRUX
490
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,311
OF JEAN-PAUL SARTRE'S
ROADS TO FREEDOM.
491
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,009
NO, IT BLOODY ISN'T.
492
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:28,282
THE NUB OF THAT IS
HIS CHARACTERS STAND
493
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,720
FOR ALL OF US IN THEIR
DESIRE TO AVOID ACTION.
494
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,553
MIND YOU, THE MAN
AT THE OFF-LICENSE
495
00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:33,922
SAYS IT'S AN
EVERYDAY STORY
496
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,119
OF FRENCH
COUNTRY FOLK.
497
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,388
WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
NOTHING.
498
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:39,761
60 NEW PENCE
FOR A BOTTLE OF MALTESE CLARET.
499
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:42,892
I PERSONALLY THINK THAT...
OH, BEG YOUR PARDON...
500
00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:45,402
I PERSONALLY THINK THAT
JEAN-PAUL'S MASTERWORK
501
00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:47,905
IS AN ALLEGORY OF MAN'S
SEARCH FOR COMMITMENT.
502
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:49,338
NO, IT ISN'T.
YES, IT IS.
503
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:50,432
'TISN'T!
'TIS!
504
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,499
NO, IT ISN'T!
505
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:53,568
ALL RIGHT. WE CAN
SOON SETTLE THIS.
506
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:54,579
WE'LL ASK HIM.
507
00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:55,739
DO YOU KNOW HIM?
YES.
508
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,180
WE MET ON HOLIDAY
LAST YEAR.
509
00:21:57,215 --> 00:21:58,307
IN IBIZA?
510
00:21:58,350 --> 00:22:00,511
YES. HE WAS STAYING
THERE WITH HIS WIFE
511
00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:01,849
AND MR. AND MRS. GENET.
512
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:05,118
OH, I DID GET ON WELL
WITH MADAM S.
513
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,886
WE WERE LIKE THAT.
514
00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:08,222
WHAT WAS JEAN-PAUL LIKE?
515
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,851
WELL, YOU KNOW,
A BIT MOODY.
516
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:10,884
YES.
YES.
517
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:12,988
HE DIDN'T JOIN
IN THE FUN MUCH.
518
00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:14,521
JUST SAT THERE
THINKING.
519
00:22:14,566 --> 00:22:17,126
STILL, MR. ROTTER
CAUGHT HIM A FEW TIMES
520
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,693
WITH A WHOOPEE CUSHION.
521
00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:20,728
LE CAPTITALISME
ET LA BOURGEOISIE
522
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:22,330
ILS SONT LA MEME CHOSE...
523
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:26,236
OH, WE DID LAUGH.
524
00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:27,403
OH, DEAR.
525
00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:29,141
WELL, WE'LL GIVE
HIM A TINKLE THEN.
526
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,148
YES, ALL RIGHT.
527
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,513
SHE SAID THEY WERE
IN THE BOOK.
528
00:22:31,550 --> 00:22:35,111
WHERE'S THE PARIS
TELEPHONE DIRECTORY?
529
00:22:35,153 --> 00:22:36,950
IT'S ON THE DRYER.
530
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:38,785
NO, NO.
THAT'S BUDAPEST.
531
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:40,018
OH, HERE WE ARE.
532
00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:41,719
SARTRE, SARTRE...
533
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,786
IT'S 621036.
534
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:47,424
OH, THANK YOU, MRS. FARLEY.
535
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:50,128
HELLO? PARIS 621036, PLEASE.
536
00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:53,001
AND MAKE IT SNAPPY, BUSTER.
537
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,140
HELLO. HELLO, MRS. SARTRE.
538
00:23:05,183 --> 00:23:06,741
IT'S BEULAGH PREMISE HERE.
539
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:07,752
OH, PARDON.
540
00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:10,118
C'EST BEULAGH PREMISE ICI.
541
00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:12,214
OUI, OUI, DANS IBIZA.
542
00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:13,588
OUI. WE MET...
543
00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:17,254
NOUS NOUS RECONTRONS
AU HOTEL MIRAMAR.
544
00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:20,287
OUI, A LA BARBEQUE,
C'EST VRAI.
545
00:23:20,365 --> 00:23:24,927
EST-CE QUE JEAN
EST CHEZ VOUZ?
546
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:26,403
OH, MERDE.
547
00:23:31,042 --> 00:23:32,566
WHEN WILL HE BE FREE?
548
00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:33,578
OH, PARDON.
549
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:35,409
QUAND SERA T'IL LIBRE?
550
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,883
SHE SAYS HE'S SPENT
THE LAST 60 YEARS
551
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,047
TRYING TO WORK
THAT ONE OUT.
552
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:47,115
OH, TREZ AMUSANT,
MADAME S.
553
00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:49,218
OUI, ABSOLUMENT.
554
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:50,922
A BIENTOT.
555
00:23:50,962 --> 00:23:54,523
WELL, HE'S OUT DISTRIBUTING
PAMPHLETS TO THE MASSES
556
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:56,193
BUT HE'LL BE IN
AT 6:00.
557
00:23:56,234 --> 00:23:58,202
OH, WELL, I'LL
RING B.E.A. THEN.
558
00:23:58,236 --> 00:24:01,672
OH, LOOK! PARIS!
559
00:24:01,706 --> 00:24:03,333
THAT'S NOT PARIS.
560
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:05,138
JEAN-PAUL WOULDN'T
561
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:06,508
LIVE HERE.
562
00:24:06,545 --> 00:24:09,480
IT'S A RIGHT
OLD DUMP.
563
00:24:11,883 --> 00:24:15,341
BUT THIS IS
WHERE THEY WERE WRONG.
564
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:19,618
FOR THIS WAS NO OLD DUMP,
BUT A TOWN WITH A FUTURE
565
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:23,560
AN URBAN ELDORADO WHERE THE
BUSINESSMAN OF TODAY CAN EN JOY
566
00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:27,361
THE FACILITIES OF TOMORROW
IN THE COMFORT OF YESTERDAY.
567
00:24:27,432 --> 00:24:30,526
PROVIDED BY A GO-GETTING,
GO-AHEAD COUNCIL
568
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:33,367
WHO KNOW JUST HOW LOUD
MONEY CAN TALK.
569
00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:34,372
INTEREST RATES...
570
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:35,896
WELL, IT'S NONE
OF MY BUSINESS
571
00:24:35,941 --> 00:24:37,238
BUT WE HAD
THE SAME TROUBLE
572
00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:38,867
WITH ONE
OF OUR ICELANDIC SAGAS.
573
00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:40,207
THESE PEOPLE ARE TERRIBLY KEEN
574
00:24:40,245 --> 00:24:41,872
BUT THEY DO RATHER
TEND TO TAKE OVER.
575
00:24:41,913 --> 00:24:44,814
I THINK I'D STICK TO CARIBBEAN
ISLANDS IF I WERE YOU.
576
00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:46,317
FINE.
577
00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:48,979
AND NOW, BACK TO THE SAGA.
578
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:07,031
HERE... THIS IS
NOT PARIS.
579
00:25:07,072 --> 00:25:08,096
THIS IS ICELAND.
580
00:25:08,139 --> 00:25:11,768
OH... WELL.
581
00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:14,176
PARIS MUST BE
OVER THERE THEN.
582
00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:15,873
OH.
583
00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:40,136
OOH, HERE WE ARE.
584
00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:41,263
NUMBER 25.
585
00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:43,103
OH, YES.
FLAT ONE
586
00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:47,009
YVES MONTAND, FLAT THREE,
JACQUES COUSTEAU
587
00:25:47,045 --> 00:25:50,173
FLAT FOUR, JEAN GENET
AND FRIEND...
588
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:51,443
OOH, YES.
589
00:25:51,483 --> 00:25:53,451
FLAT FIVE,
MAURICE LAROUX.
590
00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:54,452
WHO'S HE?
591
00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:55,748
NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
592
00:25:55,787 --> 00:25:57,277
FLAT SIX, MARCEL MARCEAU
593
00:25:57,322 --> 00:25:59,449
WALKING AGAINST THE WIND,
LIMITED.
594
00:25:59,491 --> 00:26:01,083
FLAT SEVEN, INDIRA GANDHI.
595
00:26:01,126 --> 00:26:02,753
SHE GETS ABOUT
A BIT, DOESN'T SHE?
596
00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:03,988
YES.
YES.
597
00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:08,830
FLAT EIGHT, JEAN-PAUL
AND BETTY-MURIEL SARTRE.
598
00:26:09,868 --> 00:26:11,392
Oui?
599
00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:13,768
C'EST NOUS,
BETTY-MURIEL.
600
00:26:13,805 --> 00:26:17,002
EXCUSEZ QUE NOUS
SOMMES EN RETARD.
601
00:26:17,042 --> 00:26:18,202
Entrez.
602
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,801
OUI, MERCI.
603
00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:31,786
OH, RUBBISH.
604
00:26:33,725 --> 00:26:34,692
BONJOUR.
605
00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:36,785
PARLEZ VOUZ ANGLAIS?
606
00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:38,796
OH, YES. GOOD DAY.
607
00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,263
HELLO, LOVE.
608
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:41,390
HOW ARE YOU?
609
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:43,924
THIS IS MRS. CONCLUSION
FROM NUMBER 46.
610
00:26:43,969 --> 00:26:45,664
OH, NICE TO
MEET YOU, DEAR.
611
00:26:45,704 --> 00:26:46,671
HELLO.
612
00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:47,831
HOW'S THE OLD
MAN BEEN?
613
00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:48,930
OH, DON'T ASK.
614
00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:51,602
HE'S IN ONE
OF HIS BLEEDING MOODS.
615
00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:54,510
THE BOURGEOISIE THIS,
IT'S THE BOURGEOISIE THAT.
616
00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:56,639
HE'S LIKE A LITTLE CHILD
SOMETIMES.
617
00:26:57,916 --> 00:27:00,316
I WAS ONLY TELLING THE RANIERS
THE OTHER DAY...
618
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:02,343
OF COURSE,
HE'S ALWAYS RUDE TO THEM
619
00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:03,820
ONLY CLASSY FRIENDS WE GOT...
620
00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:06,221
I WAS SAYING,
"SOLIDARITY WITH THE MASSES"
621
00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:07,622
I SAID, "PIE IN THE SKY."
622
00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,656
OOH, YOU'RE NOT A MARXIST,
ARE YOU, MRS. CONCLUSION?
623
00:27:11,696 --> 00:27:13,357
NO, I'M A REVISIONIST.
624
00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:14,365
OH, GOOD.
625
00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:15,889
I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS PLACE!
626
00:27:15,934 --> 00:27:17,094
I'M AT MY WITS' END...
627
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:18,966
REVOLUTIONARY LEAFLETS
EVERYWHERE.
628
00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:21,837
ONE OF THESE DAYS,
I'LL REVOLUTIONARY LEAFLETS HIM.
629
00:27:23,041 --> 00:27:24,531
IF IT WASN'T FOR THE GOAT
630
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:27,305
YOU COULDN'T GET IN HERE
FOR PROPAGANDA.
631
00:27:27,345 --> 00:27:28,312
WELL, VERY WELL.
632
00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,313
CAN WE, UH, POP IN
633
00:27:29,347 --> 00:27:30,541
AND HAVE A WORD
WITH HIM?
634
00:27:30,615 --> 00:27:31,547
YES, COME ALONG.
635
00:27:31,616 --> 00:27:32,548
THANK YOU.
636
00:27:32,617 --> 00:27:34,175
BUT BE CAREFUL.
HE'S HAD A FEW.
637
00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:35,379
OH.
638
00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:37,911
MIND YOU, HE'S GOOD AS
GOLD IN THE MORNING...
639
00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:39,514
I'VE GOT TO
HAND IT TO HIM...
640
00:27:39,557 --> 00:27:42,492
BUT COME LUNCHTIME, IT'S
A BOTTLE OF VIN ORDINAIRE.
641
00:27:42,527 --> 00:27:44,688
SIX GLASSES AND HE'S
READY TO AGITATE.
642
00:27:44,729 --> 00:27:46,458
UH, COO-EE!
643
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,159
JEAN-PAUL?
644
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,167
JEAN-PAUL?
645
00:27:50,201 --> 00:27:51,225
AH, IT'S ONLY US.
646
00:27:51,269 --> 00:27:53,100
OH, PARDON,
C'ESTMEME NOUS.
647
00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:54,366
OUI.
648
00:27:54,406 --> 00:27:56,931
JEAN-PAUL, YOUR FAMOUS
TRILOGY, RUES A LIBERTE
649
00:27:56,975 --> 00:27:59,705
IS IT AN ALLEGORY OF MAN'S
SEARCH FOR COMMITMENT?
650
00:27:59,744 --> 00:28:00,711
OUI.
651
00:28:00,745 --> 00:28:01,712
TOLD YOU SO.
652
00:28:01,746 --> 00:28:03,475
OH, COITUS.
653
00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:19,961
TODAY, WE LOOK
AT A VANISHING RACE
654
00:28:19,998 --> 00:28:22,990
A PROBLEM PEOPLE
WHO ARE FAST DISAPPEARING
655
00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:25,059
OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH...
656
00:28:25,103 --> 00:28:29,563
A RACE WHO ONE MIGHT SAY
ARE LOSING A WINNING BATTLE.
657
00:28:29,607 --> 00:28:31,905
THEY LIVE
IN A SUNSHINE PARADISE
658
00:28:31,943 --> 00:28:35,606
A CARIBBEAN DREAM
WHERE ONLY REALITY IS MISSING...
659
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:38,239
FOR THIS IS WHICKER ISLAND...
660
00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:42,720
AN ISLAND INHABITED ENTIRELY
BY EX-INTERNATIONAL INTERVIEWERS
661
00:28:42,754 --> 00:28:45,245
IN PURSUIT
OF THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM.
662
00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:48,088
THE WHOLE PROBLEM
OF WHICKER ISLAND
663
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:49,923
IS HERE IN A NUTSHELL.
664
00:28:49,961 --> 00:28:51,929
THERE ARE
JUST TOO MANY WHICKERS.
665
00:28:51,963 --> 00:28:53,260
THE LIGHT-WEIGHT SUITS...
666
00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:56,096
THE OLD SCHOOL TIES...
667
00:28:56,134 --> 00:28:59,103
THE PRACTICED VOICE
OF THE SEASONED CAMPAIGNER...
668
00:28:59,137 --> 00:29:01,765
CANNOT HIDE
THE BASIC TRAGEDY HERE.
669
00:29:01,806 --> 00:29:04,172
THERE JUST AREN'T
ENOUGH RICH PEOPLE LEFT
670
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:05,369
TO INTERVIEW.
671
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:08,072
YOU CAN'T TEACH
AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
672
00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:09,842
AND SO YOU FIND THEM...
673
00:29:09,881 --> 00:29:12,975
SITTING BESIDE
ELEGANT SWIMMING POOLS...
674
00:29:13,017 --> 00:29:14,644
SIPPING MARTINIS...
675
00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:18,246
AND WAITING
FOR THE INEVITABLE INTERVIEW.
676
00:29:18,289 --> 00:29:23,090
I TALKED TO THE ISLAND'S
ONLY WHITE MAN, FATHER PIERRE.
677
00:29:23,128 --> 00:29:25,221
FATHER PIERRE, WHY
DID YOU STAY ON
678
00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:27,026
IN THIS COLONIAL
CAMPARI-LAND
679
00:29:27,065 --> 00:29:29,158
WHERE THE CLINK
OF GLASSES MINGLES
680
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,634
WITH THE MURMUR OF
A MILLION MOSQUITOES
681
00:29:31,669 --> 00:29:34,661
WHERE WATERFALLS OF WHISKY
WASH AWAY THE WORRIES
682
00:29:34,706 --> 00:29:36,230
OF A WORLD-WEARY WHICKER
683
00:29:36,274 --> 00:29:39,471
WHERE GIN AND TONICS JINGLE
IN A GYROSCOPIC JUBILEE
684
00:29:39,511 --> 00:29:41,479
OF SOMETHING
BEGINNING WITH "J"?
685
00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:44,141
FATHER PIERRE, WHY
DID YOU STAY ON HERE?
686
00:29:44,182 --> 00:29:45,149
WELL...
687
00:29:45,183 --> 00:29:47,276
MAINLY FOR THE INTERVIEWS.
688
00:29:47,318 --> 00:29:49,786
WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.
689
00:29:49,821 --> 00:29:51,812
A CRUMBLING...
690
00:29:51,856 --> 00:29:53,824
EMPIRE IN THE SUN-DRENCHED...
691
00:29:53,858 --> 00:29:56,827
CARIBBEAN, WHERE THE CLICHES
SPARKLE ON THE WATERS...
692
00:29:56,861 --> 00:29:58,829
LIKE THE MUSIC OF REPEAT FEES...
693
00:29:58,863 --> 00:29:59,830
AND SO...
694
00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:00,922
FROM WHICKER ISLAND...
695
00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:01,522
IT'S...
696
00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:02,089
FARE...
697
00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:02,827
WELL, AND...
698
00:30:02,867 --> 00:30:03,663
BON...
699
00:30:03,701 --> 00:30:04,292
VOY...
700
00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:05,393
AGE.
701
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll