1
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,929
GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME
TO THE MONEY PROGRAMME.
2
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:41,134
TONIGHT ON THE MONEY PROGRAMME,
WE'RE GOING TO LOOK AT MONEY...
3
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:44,337
LOTS OF IT,
ON FILM AND IN THE STUDIO
4
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,140
SOME OF IT IN NICE PILES
5
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,909
OTHERS IN LOVELY CLANKY BITS
OF LOOSE CHANGE
6
00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,815
SOME OF IT NEATLY COUNTED
INTO FAT LITTLE HUNDREDS
7
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:54,615
DELICATE FIVERS STUFFED
INTO BULGING WALLETS
8
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:56,621
NICE, CRISP, CLEAN CHECKS
9
00:00:56,723 --> 00:01:00,955
PERT PIECES OF COPPER COINAGE
THRUST DEEP INTO TROUSER POCKETS
10
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:03,554
ROMANTIC FOREIGN MONEY
ROLLING AGAINST THE THIGH
11
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:05,086
WITH ROUGH FAMILIARITY
12
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,463
BEAUTIFUL WAYWARD
CURLICUED BANK NOTES
13
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,866
FILIGREE COPPER-PLATING
CHEEK BY JOWL
14
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,837
WITH TUMBLING
HEXAGONAL-MILLED EDGES
15
00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:14,203
RUBBING GENTLY
AGAINST THE TERSE LEATHER
16
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,435
OF BEAUTIFULLY BALANCED
BANK BOOKS!
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00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,745
I'M SORRY.
18
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,511
BUT I LOVE MONEY...
19
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,041
ALL MONEY.
20
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:30,420
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED MONEY
TO HANDLE, TO TOUCH
21
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,618
THE SMELL
OF THE RAIN-WASHED FLORIN
22
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,126
THE LURE OF THE LIRA
23
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,185
THE GLITTER AND THE GLORY
OF THE GUINEA
24
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THE ROMANCE OF THE RUBLE,
THE FEEL OF THE FRANC
25
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,890
THE HEEL OF THE DEUTSCHE MARK
26
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,198
THE COLD ANTISEPTIC STING
OF THE SWISS FRANC
27
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,932
AND THE SUNBURNED SPLENDOR
OF THE AUSTRALIAN DOLLAR.
28
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,489
NOW...
29
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:43,496
IT'S...
30
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:52,397
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
31
00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:00,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
32
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,593
I BLING A DISPATCH
FLOM PRYMOUTH.
33
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:55,066
"FLOM PRYMOUTH"?
34
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,934
FLOM SIL FLANCIS DLAKE.
35
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,906
ENTEL AND APPLOACH
THE THLONE.
36
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:17,380
WHAT NEWS
FLOM PRYMOUTH?
37
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:23,218
DLAKE HAS SIGHTED
THE SPANISH FREET, YOUL MAJESTY.
38
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:28,064
SO! PHIRIP'S GARREONS ALE HELE.
39
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,227
HOW MANY?
40
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,830
ONE HUNDLED AND THILTY-SIX
MEN OF WAL
41
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,772
BROODY HERR.
42
00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:39,744
IS DLAKE PLEPALED?
43
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:43,840
HE HAS OLDELED THE WHORE FREET
INTO THE BLITISH CHANNER.
44
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,721
SO, WE MUST TO TIRBULY.
45
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,723
REICESTEL!
46
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,089
SIL WARTEL LAREIGH!
47
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,991
GROUCESTER!
WE SHARR LIDE TO...
48
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,518
GROUCESTEL!
GROUCESTEL!
49
00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:58,052
NOT "GROUCESTER!"
50
00:04:58,097 --> 00:04:59,792
COME ON.
RET'S GET ONE LIGHT.
51
00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,265
REICESTEL!
52
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,768
THAT WAS TELLIBER.
53
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:03,962
WHAT?
54
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:05,061
TELLIBER.
55
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:06,731
WHEN YOU HAVE THE RINE
56
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,400
LING YOUR BERR.
57
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:09,499
LING MY BERR?
58
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,203
LING, LING.
RIKE THIS.
59
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,734
AND CUT THE
BROODY HERR.
60
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:13,871
ERIZABETH!
61
00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:15,005
YES?
62
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,845
YOU SHOULD BE
ON A BICYCER.
63
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,009
WHY?!
64
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,246
YOU ROOK ODD RIKE THAT.
65
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:22,379
I DO NOT LOOK ODD LIKE THIS.
66
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:23,889
IT'S THAT LOT
THAT LOOKS ODD.
67
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:26,517
IT'S BLEEDING WEIRD HAVING
HALF THE TUDOR NOBILITY
68
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:29,187
LIGGING AROUND ON
MOTORIZED BICYCLES!
69
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:31,594
IT'S VELY SULLEARIST.
70
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:32,598
HORSE FEATHERS!
71
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:33,656
LISTEN, MATE, I'M BEGINNING
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00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,667
TO HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT YOU.
73
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WHAT YOU MEAN?
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00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,329
I'M TELLING YOU
STRAIGHT, MATE.
75
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,804
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
LUCHINO VISCONTI AT ALL.
76
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,363
OH, OF COULSE, I AM.
77
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:45,002
ME VELY IMPOLTANT
ITARIAN FIRM DILECTOL.
78
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:47,911
YOU ARE A NIP.
79
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,174
LUBBISH!
80
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,376
ME GENUINE WOP!
81
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:55,912
HE'S BLUFFING.
82
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,292
OH, IS THAT
THE TIME?
83
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:03,557
I MUST FRY.
84
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,497
NOT SO FAST, YAKOMOTO.
85
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:10,829
SHUT UP!
86
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,637
ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
87
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,336
I AM INSPECTOR LEOPARD
OF SCOTLAND YARD
88
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,175
SPECIAL FRAUD
FILM DIRECTOR SQUAD.
89
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,078
LEOPARD OF THE YARD?!
90
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:25,915
THE SAME,
ONLY MORE VIOLENT.
91
00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:33,557
RIGHT, SLIT-EYES YAKOMOTO,
I'M ARRESTING YOU
92
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:37,188
FOR THE IMPERSONATION
OF SIGNOR LUCHINO VISCONTI
93
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,222
FAMOUS ITALIAN DIRECTOR
OF SUCH MOVIE CLASSICS
94
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:44,430
AS OBSESSIONE, 1942
95
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,165
LA TERRA TREMA, 1948
96
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,867
AND BELLISSIMA, 1951...
97
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:52,469
A SATISFYINGLY IRONIC
SLICE-OF-LIFE DRAMA.
98
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,606
1957 BROUGHT
TO THE SILVER SCREEN
99
00:06:55,648 --> 00:07:00,642
HIS I BIANCHE NOTTE,
ADAPTED BY DOSTOYEVSKY
100
00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:03,382
A MANNERED AND ROMANTIC
MELANCHOLY OF SNOW AND MISTS
101
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,187
AND MOONLIT ENCOUNTERS
ON CANAL BRIDGES.
102
00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:09,353
BOCCACCIO 7O FOLLOWED
FIVE YEARS LATER
103
00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:11,795
AND THE FOLLOWING YEAR SAW...
104
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,958
THE LEOPARD!
105
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,365
SO IMPRESSED WAS I
106
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:18,199
WITH THIS MOTION PICTURE
TREATMENT OF THE RISORGIMENTO
107
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,603
THAT I WENT ALONG
TO SOMERSET HOUSE
108
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,471
AND CHANGED ME OWN NAME
TO "LEOPARD"
109
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:25,739
PREFERRING IT TO ME
ORIGINAL HANDLE, "PANTHER."
110
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,842
I DIGRESS.
111
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:37,481
1969 SAW THE DAMNED,
A GOTTERDAMMERUNG EPIC
112
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,753
OF POLITICAL
AND INDUSTRIAL SHENANIGANS
113
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,589
IN GOOD OLD NAZI GERMANY
114
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:45,290
STARRING HELMUT BERGER
AS A STINKING TRANSVESTITE
115
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,356
WHAT SHOULD HAVE
HIS FACE SAWN OFF
116
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,858
THE CURVACEOUS CHARLOTTE
RAMPLING AS A BIT OF TAIL
117
00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:54,532
AND THE IMPECCABLE
DIRK BOGARDE AS VON ESSEN.
118
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,407
THE ASSOCIATION OF THE LATTER
WITH SIGNOR VISCONTI
119
00:07:57,443 --> 00:08:00,037
FRUCTIFIED WITH DIRK'S
MAGNIFICENT PORTRAYAL
120
00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:03,639
OF THE ELDERLY POUF
WHAT EXPIRES IN VENICE.
121
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,675
AND SO, YAKOMOTO...
122
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:10,221
BLIMEY! HE GONE!
123
00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:11,553
NEVER MIND.
124
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,183
I'LL HAVE YOU INSTEAD.
125
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,524
I HAVEN'T TIME TO GO
CHASING AFTER HIM.
126
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,994
THERE'S VIOLENCE
TO BE DONE.
127
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,461
OH, YES.
128
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,273
ALL RIGHT, BUSTER.
129
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:38,476
HANDS UP!
130
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:55,031
I would like to ask the team
131
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:57,729
what they would do
if they were Hitler.
132
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:00,735
Gerald?
133
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:03,367
Well, I'd, uh...
annex the Sudetenland
134
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:05,843
and sign a nonaggression pact
with Russia.
135
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:08,611
Norman?
136
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:12,482
Well, I'd do the Reichstag
bathroom in purples and golds
137
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,418
and ban abortion on demand.
138
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,121
LIBERAL RUBBISH!
139
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,783
KLAUS, WHAT YOU WANT
WITH YOUR JUGGED FISH?
140
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,019
HALIBUT.
141
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,426
THE JUGGED FISH IS HALIBUT.
142
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:26,454
WELL, WHAT FISH YOU GOT
THAT ISN'T JUGGED THEN?
143
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,591
RABBIT.
144
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,430
WHAT? RABBIT FISH?
145
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:30,935
YES. IT'S GOT FINS.
146
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,096
IS IT DEAD?
147
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:35,073
WELL, IT WAS COUGHING UP BLOOD
LAST NIGHT.
148
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:39,635
ALL RIGHT, I'LL HAVE THE DEAD
UN JUGGED RABBIT FISH.
149
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,482
WELL, THAT WAS
REALLY HORRIBLE.
150
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,314
OH, YOU'RE ALWAYS
COMPLAINING.
151
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:47,478
WHAT'S FOR AFTERS?
152
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,148
WELL, THERE'S RAT CAKE,
RAT SORBET
153
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:52,986
RAT PUDDING OR STRAWBERRY TART.
154
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,424
STRAWBERRY TART?!
155
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,325
WELL, IT'S GOT SOME RAT IN IT.
156
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,421
HOW MUCH?
157
00:09:58,464 --> 00:09:59,658
THREE.
158
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,428
IT'S RATHER A LOT, REALLY.
159
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:04,459
WELL, I'LL HAVE A SLICE
WITHOUT SO MUCH RAT IN IT.
160
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,595
APPALLING.
161
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,835
MOAN, MOAN, MOAN.
162
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,069
HELLO, MUM.
HELLO, DAD.
163
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,168
HELLO, SON.
164
00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:14,008
THERE'S A DEAD BISHOP
ON THE LANDING.
165
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,377
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
166
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:16,381
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
167
00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,973
WHAT'S ITS DIOCESE?
168
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,747
WELL, IT LOOKED A BIT BATH
AND WELLSISH TO ME.
169
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,276
I'LL GO
AND HAVE A LOOK.
170
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:25,188
I DON'T KNOW WHO KEEPS
BRINGING THEM IN HERE.
171
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,485
WELL, IT'S NOT ME.
172
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,186
I PUT THREE
OUT BY THE BIN
173
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,286
AND THE DUSTMEN
WON'T TOUCH 'EM.
174
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:31,762
LEICESTER.
HOW'D YOU KNOW?
175
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,662
TATTOOED ON THE BACK
OF HIS NECK.
176
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,530
I'M GOING TO CALL
THE POLICE.
177
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,468
SHOULDN'T YOU CALL
THE CHURCH?
178
00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:38,993
CALL THE CHURCH
POLICE.
179
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,869
ALL RIGHT.
THE CHURCH POLICE!
180
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:42,567
YES?
181
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:45,372
THERE'S ANOTHER...
THERE'S A DEAD BISHOP...
182
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:46,810
SUFFRAGAN?
183
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,212
THERE'S ANOTHER DEAD
BISHOP ON THE LANDING.
184
00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:50,509
SUFFRAGAN
OR DIOCESAN?
185
00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:51,641
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
186
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,948
ITS TATTOOED ON THE
BACK OF THEIR NECKS.
187
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:54,953
ERE!
188
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,046
IS THAT RAT TART?
189
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:58,386
YES.
190
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,824
DISGUSTING.
191
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:02,828
RIGHT!
192
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,056
THE HUNT IS ON.
193
00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:06,223
OH, LORD, WE
BESEECH THEE...
194
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:08,163
TELL US WHO CROAKED
LEICESTER.
195
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,896
ALL RIGHT, IT'S A FAIR COP
196
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,373
BUT SOCIETY IS TO BLAME.
197
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,535
AGREED.
198
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,237
I WOULD LIKE THE THREE
BY THE BIN
199
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:20,938
TO BE TAKEN
INTO CONSIDERATION.
200
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,347
RIGHT. AND NOW, I'D LIKE
TO CONCLUDE THIS ARREST
201
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:26,146
WITH A HYMN.
202
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,545
OH, SHUT UP!
203
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,239
THANK YOU.
204
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:58,842
WHAT?
205
00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,656
ERE. OH, OOH.
206
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,297
OW! OH. AH, OH...
207
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:17,662
OH!
208
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:19,170
OH, OH, WHOA! OH.
209
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,298
OH! WHOA!
210
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,542
OH. OH-OH.
211
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,644
OH, OH, OH!
212
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,738
OH! OOH! OH!
213
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,652
WHEE-HEE-HEE!
WHOA!
214
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,714
YAHOO!
215
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,725
YAY!
216
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,919
WHEE!
217
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,689
MEANWHILE, IN THE JUNGLE
NEXT DOOR...
218
00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:25,096
WHAT A SIMPLY SUPER
LITTLE PLACE.
219
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,900
YES. THEY'VE DONE
WONDERS WITH IT.
220
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,497
YOU KNOW, THIS
USED TO BE ONE
221
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,738
OF THE MOST SWAMPY, DISEASE-INFESTED
AREAS OF THE WHOLE JUNGLE
222
00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:34,837
AND THEY'VE TURNED IT INTO THIS
SMASHING LITTLE RESTAURANT.
223
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,212
HERE YOU ARE, OMKAMI.
THANK YOU.
224
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:40,374
WELL, HELLO, MR. AKWEKWE.
225
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:43,820
HELLO THERE, MR. SPARE-BUTTONS-
SUPPLIED-WITH-THE-SHIRT.
226
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,289
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
227
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,815
THESE ARE SOME
OF MY FELLOW EXPLORERS.
228
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:51,159
SIR CHARLES FARQUARSON,
BRIAN BAILEY, BETTY BAILEY
229
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:54,633
AND THIS IS MR. AKWEKWE
WHO STARTED THE WHOLE PLACE.
230
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,725
IT REALLY
IS SUPER.
231
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:56,860
OH, TERRIFIC IDEA.
232
00:13:56,902 --> 00:13:58,062
THANK YOU ALL.
233
00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:00,571
MAY I RECOMMEND
THE ALLIGATOR PUREES?
234
00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:31,867
NOW THEN, HAVE YOU DECIDED?
235
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:34,896
UH, YES. WELL, THERE'S TWO
AVOCADO VINAIGRETTE HERE
236
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,170
AND WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO HAVE, BRIAN?
237
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,541
UH, QUICHE LORRAINE
FOR ME, PLEASE.
238
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,376
RIGHT. SO THAT'S TWO
AVOCADO, ONE QUICHE.
239
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:04,969
SO, THAT'S TWO AVOCADO,
ONE QUICHE.
240
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,369
AND A SOUP
OF THE DAY.
241
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,394
RIGHT.
242
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,775
AND TO FOLLOW?
243
00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:13,334
UH, TWO CHICKEN
A LA REINE, PLEASE.
244
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,176
UH, WITH SAUCE PROVENCAL,
PLEASE.
245
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,476
AND ONE SCAMPI DESIREE.
246
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,016
AND A BOEUF BOURGUIGNON
WITH A GREEN SALAD.
247
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,279
RIGHT ON.
248
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,480
TWO CHICKEN, ONE SCAMPI
249
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:25,388
ONE BOEUF
WITH THE GREEN SALAD.
250
00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:28,258
THERE MAY BE...
251
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,591
A LITTLE DELAY.
252
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:32,222
THAT'S FINE,
BUT WE HAVE TO BE OUT BY 3:00.
253
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,926
YES, SIR. YES.
WE'LL TRY.
254
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,131
WE'LL TRY.
255
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,844
THE BBC WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE
256
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:55,445
THAT THE NEXT SCENE
IS NOT CONSIDERED SUITABLE
257
00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:56,511
FOR FAMILY VIEWING.
258
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,283
IT CONTAINS SCENES OF VIOLENCE
259
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:01,293
INVOLVING PEOPLE'S HEADS
AND ARMS GETTING CHOPPED OFF
260
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:02,794
THEIR EARS NAILED TO TREES
261
00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:05,353
AND THEIR TOENAILS PULLED OUT
IN SLOWMOTION.
262
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:08,525
THERE ARE ALSO SCENES OF NAKED
WOMEN WITH FLOPPY BREASTS.
263
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,467
AND ALSO AT ONE POINT,
YOU CAN SEE A PAIR OF BUTTOCKS
264
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:14,700
AND THERE'S ANOTHER BIT WHERE
I SWEAR YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING
265
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,903
BUT MY FRIEND SAYS IT'S JUST
THE WA Y HE'S HOLDING THE SPEAR.
266
00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:22,077
BECAUSE OF THE UNSUITABILITY
OF THE SCENE
267
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,048
THE BBC WILL BE REPLACING IT
268
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:27,849
WITH A SCENE FROM A REPEAT
OF GARDENING CLUB FOR 1958.
269
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,404
AND NOW, BACK TO THE STORY.
270
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,811
THAT WAS A NASTY BUSINESS
BACK AT THE RESTAURANT.
271
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,720
YES. I THOUGHT MOST PLACES TOOK
BARCLAYCARD NOWADAYS.
272
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,156
WHERE DO YOU THINK
THEY'RE TAKING US, BRIAN?
273
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,283
GOD KNOWS.
274
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,418
LOOK!
275
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:11,122
THE SACRED
VOLCANO ANDU!
276
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,222
WHICH NO MAN
HAS SEEN BEFORE.
277
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,062
NO, NO, NO.
NEXT TO THAT.
278
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,865
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NEXT TO THAT.
279
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:20,997
THE FORBIDDEN PLATEAU
OF ROIURAMA.
280
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,337
THE LOST WORLD.
281
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,002
THROWN UP
BY MIGHTY EARTH MOVEMENTS
282
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,706
THOUSANDS OF MILLIONS
OF YEARS AGO.
283
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:31,614
WHERE STRANGE PRIMEVAL CREATURES
DEFYING EVOLUTION
284
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,551
LURK IN THE DARK,
IMPENETRABLE FORESTS
285
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:37,578
CUT OFF FOREVER
FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
286
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,454
I STILL CAN'T SEE IT.
287
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,517
YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S
WHERE THEY'RE TAKING US.
288
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:46,327
YES. AND GOD KNOWS
WHAT WE'LL FIND THERE.
289
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:47,559
WHAT PAGE, PLEASE?
290
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:48,759
WHAT?
291
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,268
WHAT PAGE
IN THE SCRIPT?
292
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,360
PAGE SEVEN.
293
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:54,972
"COME ON, YOU DOGS.
WE HAVE FAR TO GO.
294
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,497
WE MUST LOSE NO TIME."
295
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,874
COME ON, YOU DOGS.
WE HAVE FAR TO GO.
296
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,276
WE MUST LOSE NO TIME.
297
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:01,279
COME ON, YOU...
298
00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:02,473
COME ON, YOU DOGS.
299
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,879
WE HAVE TIME TO LOSE.
300
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,510
THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR.
301
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:10,751
MEANWHILE, BACK IN LONDON
302
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:15,021
AT THE BRITISH EXPLORERS CLUB
IN THE MALL...
303
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:19,053
ANY NEWS OF BETTY BAILEY'S
EXPEDITION, HARGREAVES?
304
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,225
UH...
305
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,597
UH...
306
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:23,965
PAGE... PAGE NINE.
307
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:25,401
OH, THANK YOU.
308
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,670
UH... THE LOST WORLD
OF ROIURAMA.
309
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,472
THAT'S...
THAT'S MY LINE.
310
00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:36,379
OH. SORRY.
311
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,679
WHERE WERE THEY
GOING, SIR?
312
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:42,117
THE LOST WORLD OF ROIURAMA.
313
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,620
YES, SIR.
WE'VE GOT A TELEGRAM.
314
00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:48,091
OH.
315
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,458
"READS IT."
316
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:57,664
"EXPEDITION SUPERB,
WEATHER EXCELLENT.
317
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,069
EVERYTHING WONDERFUL."
318
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:02,005
I WONDER
WHAT'S GONE WRONG.
319
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,632
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
BE CAREFUL...
320
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,438
WAIT A MINUTE.
321
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,968
I'M GOING TO GO AFTER THEM.
322
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:10,948
OH! FOR GOD'S SAKE,
BE CAREFUL.
323
00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:25,995
MY GOD, BETTY,
WE'RE DONE FOR.
324
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:28,124
WE'LL NEVER
GET OUT OF HERE.
325
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,260
WE'RE COMPLETELY
LOST. LOST!
326
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:32,361
EVEN THE NATIVES
HAVE GONE.
327
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:33,962
GOOD-BYE, BETTY.
328
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,735
GOOD-BYE, FARQUARSON.
329
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,399
GOOD-BYE, BRIAN.
330
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,876
IT'S BEEN
A GREAT EXPEDITION.
331
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,574
GREAT EXPEDITION.
332
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:47,744
ALL THAT'LL BE LEFT OF
US IS A MAP, A COMPASS
333
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:51,550
AND A FEW FEET OF FILM
RECORDING OUR LAST MOMENTS.
334
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:52,750
WAIT A MINUTE!
335
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,223
WHAT IS IT?
336
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,626
IF WE'RE ON FILM...
337
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,461
THERE MUST BE SOMEONE
FILMING US.
338
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,559
MY GOD, BETTY!
339
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,069
YOU'RE RIGHT!
340
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,205
LOOK!
HELLO!
341
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,140
GREAT TO SEE YOU!
342
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:11,904
SUPER TO SEE YOU.
343
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,139
SUPER!
344
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,441
HOW ARE YOU, MATES?
345
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:16,447
JOLLY GOOD!
346
00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:17,914
WAIT A MINUTE!
347
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,144
WHAT IS IT AGAIN?
348
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:23,648
IF THIS IS THE CREW
WHO WERE FILMING US...
349
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:27,386
WHO'S FILMING US NOW?
350
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,288
LOOK!
351
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,354
CUT THERE, MAN.
352
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,364
CUT THERE.
353
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,797
NO... NO GOOD.
354
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:36,629
HOW WE GOING TO GET
THAT FEELING
355
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:39,068
OF PERSONAL ALIENATION
OF SELF FROM SOCIETY
356
00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:41,368
WITH THIS LOAD
OF BULLDOG DRUMMOND CRAP?
357
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:44,341
WHEN I WAS DOING LA NOTTE
WITH THAT MONICA VITTI GAL
358
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,434
SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME
359
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,638
NONE OF THIS
EMPIRE-BUILDING SHIT, MAN.
360
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:53,178
NOT SO FAST, AKARUMBA.
361
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:56,210
ALLOW ME TO
INTRODUCE MYSELF.
362
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,586
I'M INSPECTOR BABOON
363
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:00,683
OF SCOTLAND YARD'S SPECIAL
FRAUD FILM DIRECTOR'S SQUAD.
364
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:01,920
JUNGLE DIVISION.
365
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,393
BABOON OF THE YARD!
366
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,520
SHUT UP!
367
00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,190
RIGHT, AKARUMBA.
368
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:12,226
I'M ARRESTING YOU FOR IMPERSONATING
SIGNOR MICHELANGELO ANTONIONI
369
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,738
AN ITALIAN FILM DIRECTOR
370
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,706
WHO CO-SCRIPTS
ALL HIS OWN FILMS
371
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:19,472
LARGELY JETTISONING NARRATIVE
IN FAVOR OF VAGUE INCIDENT
372
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:21,672
AND RELENTLESS CHARACTER STUDY.
373
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:24,409
IN HIS FIRST FILM
CRONACA DI UN AMORE, 1915
374
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:28,249
THE COUPLE ARE BROUGHT TOGETHER
BY A SHARED IRRATIONAL GUILT.
375
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,016
LE AMICHE FOLLOWED IN 1955
376
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:33,786
AND 1959 SAW THE FIRST OF
ANTONIONI'S WORLD-FAMOUS TRILOGY
377
00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:37,591
L'A VVENTURA, AN ACUTE STUDY
OF BOREDOM, RESTLESSNESS
378
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:40,860
AND THE FUTILITIES AND AGONIES
OF PURPOSELESS LIVING.
379
00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:42,729
IN L'ECLISSE THREE YEARS LATER
380
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:45,999
THIS ANALYSIS OF THE SENTIMENTS
WAS TAKEN UP ONCE AGAIN.
381
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:49,599
"WE DO NOT HAVE TO KNOW EACH
OTHER TO LOVE," SAYS THE HEROINE
382
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:52,041
"AND PERHAPS,
WE DO NOT HAVE TO LOVE."
383
00:21:52,077 --> 00:21:55,513
THE ECLIPSE OF THE EMOTIONS
FINALLY CASTS ITS SHADOW
384
00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:57,811
WHEN DARKNESS DESCENDS...
385
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,153
SIGNOR ANTONIONI FIRST MAKES USE
OF COLOR TO UNDERLINE...
386
00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:14,558
AND NOW ON BBC 1
387
00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:19,161
ANOTHER SIX MINUTES OF
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
388
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:22,564
YES, SIR.
389
00:22:22,607 --> 00:22:24,632
I'D LIKE TO HAVE
AN ARGUMENT, PLEASE.
390
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:25,700
CERTAINLY, SIR.
391
00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:27,211
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?
392
00:22:27,245 --> 00:22:28,678
NO. THIS IS
MY FIRST TIME.
393
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:31,205
I SEE. DO YOU WANT TO HAVE
THE FULL ARGUMENT
394
00:22:31,249 --> 00:22:33,547
OR WERE YOU THINKING
OF TAKING A COURSE?
395
00:22:33,585 --> 00:22:35,075
WELL, WHAT WOULD
BE THE COST?
396
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:36,348
WELL, YES, IT'S FIVE...
397
00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:38,583
IT'S ONE POUND
FOR A FIVE-MINUTE ARGUMENT
398
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:40,853
BUT ONLY EIGHT POUNDS
FOR A COURSE OF TEN.
399
00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:42,917
MMM... WELL, I THINK
IT'S PROBABLY BEST
400
00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:44,222
IF I START WITH THE ONE
401
00:22:44,262 --> 00:22:46,230
AND SEE HOW IT GOES
FROM THERE, OKAY?
402
00:22:46,264 --> 00:22:48,562
FINE. I'LL SEE WHO'S FREE
AT THE MOMENT.
403
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,090
UH... MR. DU-BAKEY'S FREE
404
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,160
BUT HE'S A LITTLE BIT
CONCILIATORY.
405
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,193
MMM.
406
00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:55,263
YES, UH, TRY
MR. BARNARD... ROOM 12.
407
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:56,274
THANK YOU.
408
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,281
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
409
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,840
WELL, I WAS TOLD OUTSIDE...
410
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:06,942
DON'T GIVE ME THAT
411
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,486
YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP
OF PARROT DROPPINGS!
412
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:10,488
WHAT?
413
00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:13,821
SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB,
YOU TIT!
414
00:23:13,859 --> 00:23:16,191
YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE!
415
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,925
YOU VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED,
MALODOROUS PERVERT!
416
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:20,932
WHAT?!
417
00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:22,957
I CAME IN HERE
FOR AN ARGUMENT!
418
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:24,296
OH! OH, I'M SORRY.
419
00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:25,303
THIS IS ABUSE.
420
00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:26,304
OH. OH, I SEE.
421
00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:27,498
THAT EXPLAINS IT.
422
00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:29,473
NO. YOU WANT 12A NEXT DOOR.
423
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:30,475
I SEE.
424
00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:31,476
SORRY.
425
00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:32,477
NOT AT ALL.
426
00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:33,978
YEAH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
427
00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:35,274
STUPID GIT.
428
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,444
COME IN.
429
00:23:39,484 --> 00:23:42,578
IS THIS THE RIGHT ROOM
FOR AN ARGUMENT?
430
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:44,145
I'VE TOLD YOU ONCE.
431
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:45,451
NO, YOU HAVEN'T.
432
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:46,184
YES, I HAVE.
433
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:47,316
WHEN?
434
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:47,882
JUST NOW.
435
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:48,984
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
436
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:50,118
YES, I DID.
DIDN'T.
437
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:50,958
DID.
DIDN'T.
438
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:51,826
I'M TELLING YOU I DID.
439
00:23:51,863 --> 00:23:52,522
YOU DID NOT.
440
00:23:52,564 --> 00:23:53,531
I'M SORRY, IS THIS
441
00:23:53,565 --> 00:23:54,759
A FIVE-MINUTE ARGUMENT
442
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,290
OR THE FULL HALF HOUR?
443
00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:58,302
OH! OH. JUST
THE FIVE-MINUTE ONE.
444
00:23:58,336 --> 00:23:59,303
FINE.
445
00:23:59,337 --> 00:24:00,304
THANK YOU.
446
00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:01,305
ANYWAY, I DID.
447
00:24:01,339 --> 00:24:03,136
YOU MOST CERTAINLY
DID NOT.
448
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,700
NOW, LET'S GET ONE
THING QUITE CLEAR.
449
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:07,541
I MOST DEFINITELY
TOLD YOU.
450
00:24:07,579 --> 00:24:08,637
YOU DID NOT.
YES, I DID.
451
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,647
YOU DID NOT.
YES, I DID.
452
00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:10,648
DIDN'T.
YES, I DID.
453
00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:11,649
DIDN'T.
YES, I DID.
454
00:24:11,683 --> 00:24:13,412
LOOK, THIS ISN'T AN ARGUMENT.
455
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,544
YES, IT IS.
NO, IT ISN'T.
456
00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:16,315
IT'S JUST CONTRADICTION.
NO, IT ISN'T.
457
00:24:16,354 --> 00:24:17,321
YES, IT IS.
IT IS NOT.
458
00:24:17,355 --> 00:24:18,822
IT IS!
YOU JUST CONTRADICTED ME.
459
00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:19,824
NO, I DIDN'T.
460
00:24:19,858 --> 00:24:20,483
OH, YOU DID.
461
00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:21,856
NO, NO, NO, NO.
462
00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:22,552
YOU DID JUST THEN.
463
00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:24,027
NO, NO, NONSENSE.
464
00:24:24,062 --> 00:24:24,994
OH, WELL, THIS IS FUTILE.
465
00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:25,928
NO, IT ISN'T.
466
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:26,931
I CAME HERE FOR A GOOD ARGUMENT.
467
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:28,455
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
YOU CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT.
468
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:29,990
WELL, ARGUE IS NOT THE SAME
AS CONTRADICTION.
469
00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:31,263
IT CAN BE.
470
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,497
NO, IT CAN'T.
471
00:24:32,537 --> 00:24:34,505
AN ARGUMENT'S A COLLECTED SERIES
OF STATEMENTS
472
00:24:34,539 --> 00:24:36,029
TO ESTABLISH
A DEFINITE PROPOSITION.
473
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,335
NO, IT ISN'T.
YES, IT IS.
474
00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:38,774
IT ISN'T JUST CONTRADICTION.
475
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:39,970
LOOK, IF I
ARGUE WITH YOU
476
00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:41,706
I MUST TAKE UP
A CONTRARY POSITION.
477
00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:43,043
BUT IT ISN'T JUST SAYING,
"NO, IT ISN'T."
478
00:24:43,081 --> 00:24:44,048
YES, IT IS.
479
00:24:44,082 --> 00:24:45,049
NO, IT ISN'T.
480
00:24:45,116 --> 00:24:47,016
ARGUMENT'S
AN INTELLECTUAL PROCESS.
481
00:24:47,052 --> 00:24:49,577
CONTRADICTION IS JUST
THE AUTOMATIC GAINSAYING
482
00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:51,486
OF ANYTHING
THE OTHER PERSON SAYS.
483
00:24:51,523 --> 00:24:52,888
NO, IT ISN'T.
YES, IT IS.
484
00:24:52,924 --> 00:24:54,391
NOT AT ALL.
NOW, LOOK...
485
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:56,427
THANK YOU.
486
00:24:56,461 --> 00:24:58,156
GOOD MORNING.
487
00:24:58,196 --> 00:24:59,163
WHAT?
488
00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:00,164
THAT'S IT.
489
00:25:00,198 --> 00:25:01,187
GOOD MORNING.
490
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:03,258
BUT I WAS JUST GETTING
INTERESTED.
491
00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:05,166
SORRY. THE FIVE
MINUTES IS UP.
492
00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:07,501
THAT WAS NEVER FIVE
MINUTES JUST NOW.
493
00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:08,528
AFRAID IT WAS.
494
00:25:08,573 --> 00:25:10,598
NO, IT WASN'T.
495
00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:12,769
SORRY, I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO ARGUE ANYMORE.
496
00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:13,778
WHAT?!
497
00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:15,541
IF YOU WANT ME
TO GO ON ARGUING
498
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:18,071
YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY FOR
ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES.
499
00:25:18,116 --> 00:25:20,448
BUT THAT WAS NEVER FIVE
MINUTES JUST NOW.
500
00:25:20,485 --> 00:25:23,511
OH, COME ON!
501
00:25:23,555 --> 00:25:25,318
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
502
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:28,087
I'M VERY SORRY,
BUT I TOLD YOU
503
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:30,093
I'M NOT ALLOWED TO
ARGUE UNLESS YOU PAY.
504
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:33,221
OH, ALL RIGHT.
505
00:25:33,265 --> 00:25:34,630
THERE YOU ARE.
506
00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:35,633
THANK YOU.
507
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,362
WELL?
508
00:25:37,402 --> 00:25:39,097
WELL WHAT?
509
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:40,694
THAT WAS NEVER FIVE MINUTES
JUST NOW.
510
00:25:40,739 --> 00:25:42,297
I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO ARGUE UNLESS YOU PAY.
511
00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:43,432
I JUST PAID.
NO, YOU DIDN'T.
512
00:25:43,475 --> 00:25:45,909
I DID. I DID! I DID!
513
00:25:45,944 --> 00:25:47,571
LOOK, I DON'T WANT
TO ARGUE ABOUT THAT.
514
00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:50,012
WELL, I'M VERY SORRY,
BUT YOU DIDN'T PAY.
515
00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:52,881
AHA! WELL, IF I DIDN'T PAY,
WHY ARE YOU ARGUING?
516
00:25:52,918 --> 00:25:53,885
GOT YOU.
517
00:25:53,919 --> 00:25:54,715
NO, YOU HAVEN'T.
518
00:25:54,753 --> 00:25:55,742
YES, I HAVE.
519
00:25:55,787 --> 00:25:57,118
IF YOU'RE ARGUING,
I MUST'VE PAID.
520
00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:58,519
NOT NECESSARILY.
521
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,024
I COULD BE ARGUING
522
00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:01,616
IN MY SPARE TIME.
523
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:02,957
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.
524
00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:06,828
NO, YOU HAVEN'T.
OH, SHUT UP.
525
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,762
I WANT TO COMPLAIN.
526
00:26:09,801 --> 00:26:12,031
YOU WANT TO COMPLAIN?
LOOK AT THESE SHOES.
527
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,094
I'VE ONLY HAD THEM THREE WEEKS
528
00:26:13,138 --> 00:26:14,332
AND THE HEELS ARE WORN
RIGHT THROUGH.
529
00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:15,396
NO, I WANT
TO COMPLAIN ABOUT...
530
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:16,498
IF YOU COMPLAIN,
NOTHING HAPPENS
531
00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:17,633
YOU MIGHT JUST AS
WELL NOT BOTHER
532
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:18,643
AND MY BACK HURTS...
533
00:26:18,677 --> 00:26:20,144
I WANT TO COM... OW!
534
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,837
NO, NO. HOLD
YOUR HEAD
535
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,075
LIKE THIS AND
THEN GO, "WAH!"
536
00:26:24,115 --> 00:26:25,082
TRY IT AGAIN.
WHOA!
537
00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:26,777
BETTER, BETTER,
BUT, "WAH! WAH!"
538
00:26:26,818 --> 00:26:27,978
HOLD YOUR HANDS HERE.
539
00:26:28,019 --> 00:26:28,986
NO.
NOW...
540
00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:31,921
NO, THAT'S IT,
THAT'S IT! GOOD!
541
00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:33,390
STOP HITTING ME!
WHAT?
542
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:34,449
STOP HITTING ME.
543
00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:35,959
STOP HITTING YOU?
YES.
544
00:26:35,994 --> 00:26:37,962
WELL, UH, WHAT DID
YOU COME IN HERE FOR?
545
00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:39,088
I CAME HERE TO COMPLAIN.
546
00:26:39,130 --> 00:26:40,688
OH, I'M SORRY.
THAT'S NEXT DOOR.
547
00:26:40,732 --> 00:26:42,859
IT'S BEING HIT ON THE
HEAD LESSONS IN HERE.
548
00:26:42,901 --> 00:26:43,959
WHAT A STUPID CONCEPT.
549
00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:45,026
RIGHT. HOLD IT THERE.
550
00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:46,037
WHAT?
WHAT?
551
00:26:46,071 --> 00:26:47,800
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
552
00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:51,002
I'M INSPECTOR FOX OF THE
LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT POLICE
553
00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:53,033
COMEDY DIVISION,
SPECIAL FLYING SQUAD.
554
00:26:53,078 --> 00:26:54,511
FLYING FOX OF THE YARD?!
555
00:26:54,546 --> 00:26:55,513
SHUT UP!
OH!
556
00:26:55,547 --> 00:26:57,174
NO, NO, NO, NO.
"WAH!"
557
00:26:57,248 --> 00:26:58,180
AND YOU!
558
00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:59,750
HE'S GOOD.
559
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,911
YOU COULD LEARN
A THING OR TWO FROM HIM.
560
00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:04,786
RIGHT, NOW YOU TWO, ME OLD
BEAUTIES, YOU ARE NICKED.
561
00:27:04,823 --> 00:27:06,188
WHAT FOR?
562
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:10,091
I'M CHARGING YOU UNDER SECTION
21 OF THE STRANGE SKETCH ACT.
563
00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:11,095
THE WHAT?
564
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:12,426
YOU ARE HEREBY CHARGED
565
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:15,058
THAT YOU DID WILLFULLY TAKE PART
IN A STRANGE SKETCH.
566
00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:17,091
THAT IS A SKIT, SPOOF
OR HUMOROUS VIGNETTE
567
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:18,500
OF AN UNCONVENTIONAL NATURE
568
00:27:18,536 --> 00:27:20,800
WITH INTENT TO CAUSE
GRIEVOUS MENTAL CONFUSION
569
00:27:20,839 --> 00:27:22,204
TO THE GREAT
BRITISH PUBLIC.
570
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,798
EVENING, ALL.
571
00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:24,809
IT'S A FAIR COP.
572
00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:25,810
AND YOU TOSH!
573
00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:26,811
WAH!
574
00:27:26,845 --> 00:27:27,812
THAT'S EXCELLENT!
575
00:27:27,846 --> 00:27:29,871
RIGHT, COME ON
DOWN TO THE YARD.
576
00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:30,881
HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
577
00:27:30,915 --> 00:27:32,212
ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
578
00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:33,875
I'M INSPECTOR
THOMPSON'S GAZELLE
579
00:27:33,918 --> 00:27:35,510
OF THE PROGRAMME
PLANNING POLICE
580
00:27:35,553 --> 00:27:38,078
LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT DIVISION,
SPECIAL FLYING SQUAD.
581
00:27:38,123 --> 00:27:40,091
FLYING THOMPSON'S
GAZELLLE OF THE YARD?
582
00:27:40,125 --> 00:27:41,092
SHUT UP!
583
00:27:41,126 --> 00:27:42,093
AHH!
584
00:27:42,127 --> 00:27:43,094
HE... HE'S GOOD.
585
00:27:43,128 --> 00:27:44,152
SHUT UP.
WOW!
586
00:27:44,195 --> 00:27:45,162
ROTTEN.
587
00:27:45,196 --> 00:27:46,163
AHH!
588
00:27:46,197 --> 00:27:47,824
GOOD.
589
00:27:47,866 --> 00:27:50,198
RIGHT. I'M ARRESTING
THIS ENTIRE SHOW
590
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:53,930
ONE, ACTS OF SELF-
CONSCIOUS BEHAVIOR
591
00:27:53,972 --> 00:27:56,236
CONTRARY TO THE "NOT IN FRONT
OF THE CHILDREN" ACT
592
00:27:56,274 --> 00:27:58,970
TWO, ALWAYS SAYING,
"IT'S SO AND SO OF THE YARD"
593
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:00,500
EVERY TIME
THE FUZZ ARRIVES
594
00:28:00,545 --> 00:28:02,638
AND THREE... AND THIS IS
THE CRUNCHER...
595
00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:05,149
OFFENSES AGAINST
THE "GETTING OUT OF SKETCHES
596
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:07,242
WITHOUT USING
A PROPER PUNCH LINE ACT."
597
00:28:07,352 --> 00:28:10,913
NAMELY SIMPLY ENDING
EVERY BLEEDING SKETCH
598
00:28:10,955 --> 00:28:14,550
BY JUST HAVING
A POLICEMAN COME IN AND...
599
00:28:14,592 --> 00:28:16,492
WAIT A MINUTE.
600
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:17,495
HOLD IT.
601
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:18,587
IT'S A FAIR COP.
602
00:28:20,999 --> 00:28:22,364
AND NOW ON BBC 1
603
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,268
ONE MORE MINUTE OF
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
604
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll