1
00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:05,500
IN THE MODERN BRITAIN,
UNITED UNDER A GREAT LEADER
2
00:00:05,538 --> 00:00:09,099
IT'S THE HOUSEWIVES OF BRITAIN
WHO ARE GETTING THINGS MOVING.
3
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:11,474
HERE, A COACH LOAD OF
LOVELY LADIES ARE ON THEIR WAY
4
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,240
TO SPEED UP PRODUCTION
IN A CAR FACTORY.
5
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,712
AND HERE WE ARE, BOYS,
IT'S THE NO-HURRY BRIGADE
6
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,148
HANGING AROUND
FOR ENDLESS OVERTIME.
7
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,981
AND JUST WATCH THESE GALLANT
GIRLS GO INTO ACTION.
8
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:26,157
NOT WORKING FAST ENOUGH?
9
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,160
WELL, THERE'S
AN ANSWER FOR THAT.
10
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:32,256
YES, THIS IS CERTAINLY
THE WAY TO SPEED UP PRODUCTION.
11
00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:34,823
THIS IS THE RECIPE FOR
INCREASED PRODUCTIVITY
12
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,802
TO MEET THE THREAT
OF THOSE NASTY FOREIGNERS
13
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,394
WHEN BRITAIN TAKES
HER NATURAL PLACE
14
00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:40,235
AT THE HEAD
OF THE BRITISH COMMON MARKET.
15
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:44,642
AND HOW'S THIS FOR A WAY
TO BEAT STRIKERS?
16
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,071
THOSE SPOTTY CONTINENTAL BOYS
17
00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:51,447
WILL SOON HAVE TO LOOK OUT
FOR MRS. BRITAIN.
18
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,145
AND TALKING OF WINDMILLS
19
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:57,282
THESE GIRLS AREN'T AFRAID TO
TILT AT THE PERMISSIVE SOCIETY.
20
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,551
BUSINESS IS BOOMING
IN THE SO-CALLED ARTS
21
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:01,560
BUT TWO CAN PLAY
AT THAT GAME, CHUM.
22
00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:07,626
AND IT'S NOT JUST THE MODERN
SO-CALLED PLASTIC ARTS
23
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,294
THAT GET THE CLEAN-UP TREATMENT.
24
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,426
DESDEMONA...
25
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:11,596
COME ON, DEARS!
26
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,137
AND THOSE CONTINENTALS
HAD BETTER WATCH OUT
27
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,042
FOR THEIR DIRTY
FOREIGN LITERATURE.
28
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,276
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE AND JEAN GENET
WON'T KNOW WHAT'S HIT THEM.
29
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,613
NEVER MIND THE FOULNESS
OF THEIR LANGUAGE...
30
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,211
COME '73, THEY'LL ALL
HAVE TO WRITE IN BRITISH.
31
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:32,287
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR FASTIDIOUS
CONTINENTAL BIDETS, MRS. FOREIGNER...
32
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,691
MRS. BRITAIN KNOWS
HOW TO KEEP HER FEET CLEAN.
33
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,319
BUT SHE'LL BATTLE
LIKE BINGO, BOYS
34
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:39,125
WHEN IT COMES TO KEEPING
THE TV SCREEN CLEAN.
35
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:42,134
BETTER WATCH OUT FOR
THOSE NASTY CONTINENTAL SHOWS
36
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,499
ON THE SNEAKY SECOND CHANNEL.
37
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,935
BUT APART FROM ATTACKING
38
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,132
THAT PRURIENT HOTBED
OF LEFT-WING CONTINENTALISM
39
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,299
AT SHEPHERDS BUSH
40
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:49,569
WHAT ELSE DO THESE
ORDINARY MUMS THINK?
41
00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:50,633
DO THEY ACCEPT HEGELIANISM?
42
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,076
NO!
43
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,239
DO THEY PREFER
LEIBNITZ TO WITTGENSTEIN?
44
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,145
NO! NO!
45
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,548
AND WHERE DO
THEY STAND ON YOUNG PEOPLE?
46
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,644
JUST HERE, DEAR.
47
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,678
THEIR POWER IS GROWING DAILY
48
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:04,883
AND WHEN THESE GIRLS
ROLL THEIR SLEEVES UP
49
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,016
IT'S ARMS ALL THE WAY.
50
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,357
YES, THIS IS THE WAY TO FIGHT
51
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:11,295
THE CONSTANT WAR
AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY.
52
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,208
AND NOW...
53
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,337
IT'S...
54
00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:34,886
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
55
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
56
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:19,765
DOCTOR!
57
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,292
DOCTOR!
58
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:26,028
DOCTOR!
59
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:28,871
DOCTOR!
60
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,106
DOCTOR!
61
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,104
DOCTOR!
62
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,451
DOCTOR!
63
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:42,113
DOCTOR!
64
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,452
DOCTOR!
65
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,616
WHERE IS THE DOCTOR?
66
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:53,292
HELLO!
67
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:58,194
ARE YOU THE BRAIN SPECIALIST?
68
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,944
HELLO!
69
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:12,215
ARE YOU THE BRAIN SPECIALIST?
70
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,354
NO!
71
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:19,324
NO, I AM NOT
THE BRAIN SPECIALIST.
72
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,725
NO, NO, I AM NOT!
73
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,787
YES! YES, I AM!
74
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:28,494
MY BRAIN HURTS!
75
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:33,900
WELL, LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT IT, MR. GUMBY.
76
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,066
NO, NO, NO...
77
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,804
MY BRAIN IN MY HEAD.
78
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,209
OH!
79
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,248
IT'LL HAVE TO COME OUT.
80
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,322
OUT... OF MY HEAD?
81
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,325
YES! ALL THE BITS OF IT.
82
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,849
NURSE!
83
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,756
NURSE!
84
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,529
NURSE!
85
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:05,462
NURSE!
86
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:12,872
NURSE, TAKE MR. GUMBY
TO A... BRAIN SURGEON.
87
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,846
YES, DOCTOR.
88
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:16,109
WHERE'S THE LANCET?
89
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,174
HE'S BRILLIANT, YOU KNOW.
90
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:19,912
WHERE'S THE BLOODY LANCET?
91
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,223
MY BRAIN HURTS, TOO.
92
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,430
GLOVES...
93
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,459
GLASSES...
94
00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,103
MOUSTACHE...
95
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,136
HANDKERCHIEF...
96
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,342
I'M GOING TO OPERATE!
97
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:53,284
OPERATE, OPERATE...
98
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,082
GET BITS
OF BRAIN!
99
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,385
GET BITS OF BRAIN!
100
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:01,292
HELLO!
101
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:02,294
OH!
102
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:03,295
OH!
103
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:06,492
WE FORGOT
THE ANESTHETIC!
104
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,022
ANESTHETIC!
105
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,466
ANESTHETIC!
106
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,960
ANESTHETIC!
107
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:16,304
ANESTHETIC!
108
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:24,644
I'VE COME TO
ANESTHETIZE YOU!
109
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,050
GOOD EVENING.
110
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:36,755
TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT... OH, UH...
111
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:38,354
EXCUSE ME, THIS IS ALL WRONG.
112
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,626
ONE MOMENT.
113
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:52,769
HELLO, AGAIN.
114
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,110
AS I WAS SAYING...
115
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,275
AH, OH, WAIT, THIS IS
STILL NOT QUITE RIGHT.
116
00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:58,408
SORRY.
117
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,421
NO, NO, SORRY, NO, NOT RIGHT.
118
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:27,574
AH, THIS IS BETTER.
119
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,979
NOW, TONIGHT I WANT TO LOOK
AT THE MEANING OF LIFE...
120
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,213
OH! OW! OH! OH!
121
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,683
NO, NO, NO...
122
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,327
NO, NO, PLEASE!
123
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,716
HMM, AH, WELL...
124
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,722
THIS'LL DO NICELY.
125
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:11,881
GOOD EVENING.
126
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,289
TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
127
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,418
ABOUT THE MEANING OF LIFE
128
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:15,484
IN THE CONTEXT OF...
129
00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:20,224
The 9:00 news,
which was to have followed
130
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:22,291
has been canceled tonight
131
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,326
so we can bring you
the quarterfinals
132
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,497
of the All-Essex
Badminton Championship.
133
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:29,531
Your commentator as usual
is Edna O'Brien.
134
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,167
Hullo, fans.
135
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,440
Begorra, an' to be sure
there's some fine badminton
136
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,969
down there in Essex
this afternoon.
137
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,106
We really...
138
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:50,951
HMM.
139
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,123
GEORGE?
140
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:52,960
YES, GLADYS?
141
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,591
THERE'S A MAN HERE
WITH A MOUSTACHE.
142
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,192
I ALREADY GOT ONE.
143
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,100
ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT
144
00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:59,627
WHAT'S HE WANT,
THEN?
145
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:00,764
HE SAYS, DO WE WANT
146
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,431
A DOCUMENTARY
ON MOLLUSKS?
147
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,442
MOLLUSKS?!
148
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,443
YES!
149
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,876
WHAT'S HE MEAN,
"MOLLUSKS"?
150
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,504
MOLLUSKS!
151
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,072
GASTROPODS, LAMELLIBRANCHS,
CEPHALOPODS!
152
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,208
OH, MOLLUSKS.
153
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,581
I THOUGHT
YOU SAID "BACON."
154
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:15,086
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
155
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,418
WHAT'S HE
CHARGE, THEN?
156
00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:17,717
IT'S FREE.
157
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:19,657
OH! WHERE DOES HE
WANT US TO SIT?
158
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:20,784
HE SAYS YES!
159
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:32,261
GOOD EVENING.
160
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,000
TONIGHT, MOLLUSKS.
161
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,942
THE MOLLUSK IS A SOFT-BODIED,
UNSEGMENTED INVERTEBRATE ANIMAL
162
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:40,207
USUALLY PROTECTED
BY A LARGE SHELL.
163
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:44,012
ONE OF THE MOST NUMEROUS
GROUPS OF INVERTEBRATES
164
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,746
IT IS EXCEEDED
IN NUMBER OF SPECIES
165
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:49,277
ONLY BY THE ARTHROPODS, VIZ...
166
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,483
NOT VERY
INTERESTING, IS IT?
167
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,718
WHAT?
168
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,225
I WAS TALKING TO HIM.
169
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,557
OH.
170
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,587
ANYWAY, THE TYPICAL MOLLUSK,
VIZ A SNAIL...
171
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:01,464
CONSISTS OF A PROMINENT
MUSCULAR PORTION...
172
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,435
THE HEAD-FOOT...
A VISCERAL MASS AND A SHELL
173
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,837
WHICH IS SECRETED BY
THE FREE EDGE OF THE MANTLE.
174
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:08,999
DREADFUL, ISN'T IT?
175
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,167
WHAT?
176
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:11,836
I WAS TALKING TO HIM!
177
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:14,402
OH... WELL, ANYWAY...
178
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,847
IN SOME MOLLUSKS, HOWEVER,
VIZ, SLUGS
179
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,077
THE SHELL IS ABSENT
OR RUDIMENTARY.
180
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,517
SWITCH HIM OFF.
181
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,544
WHEREAS IN OTHERS,
VIZ CEPHALOPODS
182
00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:24,522
THE HEAD-FOOT
IS GREATLY MODIFIED
183
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,650
AND FORMS TENTACLES,
VIZ THE SQUID.
184
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:27,659
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
185
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,660
SWITCHING YOU OFF.
186
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:29,661
DON'T YOU
LIKE IT?
187
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:30,662
OH, IT'S DREADFUL.
188
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:31,663
EMBARRASSING.
189
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:32,664
IS IT?
190
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:33,824
YES, IT'S PERFECTLY AWFUL.
191
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,026
DISGRACEFUL!
192
00:10:35,067 --> 00:10:37,001
I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY GOT
THE NERVE TO PUT IT ON.
193
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,333
IT'S SO BORING.
194
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,396
WELL, IT'S NOT MUCH
OF A SUBJECT, IS IT?
195
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:41,497
BE FAIR.
196
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:42,871
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
GEORGE?
197
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:45,137
GIVE HIM ANOTHER 20 SECONDS.
198
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,201
ALL RIGHT.
199
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:47,837
ANYWAY, THE MAJORITY OF MOLLUSKS
200
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,438
ARE INCLUDED
IN THREE LARGE GROUPS:
201
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,972
THE GASTROPODS,
THE LAMELLIBRANCHS
202
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,143
AND THE CEPHALOPODS.
203
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:53,276
WE KNOW THAT!
204
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,048
HOWEVER, WHAT IS
MORE INTERESTING
205
00:10:55,087 --> 00:10:56,679
IS THE, UH...
MOLLUSK'S, UH...
206
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:57,689
SEX LIFE.
207
00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:58,985
OH!
208
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,888
YES, THE MOLLUSK IS A
RANDY LITTLE FELLOW
209
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,896
WHOSE PRIMITIVE BRAIN
SCARCELY STRAYS
210
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,090
FROM THE SUBJECT
OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT.
211
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,100
DISGUSTING!
212
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,192
OUGHT NOT
TO BE ALLOWED.
213
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,032
THE RANDIEST OF THE GASTROPODS
214
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,401
IS THE LIMPET.
215
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:14,201
THIS HOT-BLOODED LITTLE BEAST
216
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,004
WITH ITS TENTLIKE SHELL
IS ALWAYS ON THE JOB.
217
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,635
ITS EXTRAMARITAL
ACTIVITIES
218
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,077
ARE SOMETHING STARTLING.
219
00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:22,205
FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW
HOW THE FEMALE LIMPET
220
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,307
FINDS THE TIME
TO ADHERE TO THE ROCK FACE.
221
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,510
HOW AM I DOING?
222
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:26,643
DISGUSTING.
223
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,710
BUT MORE INTERESTING.
224
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,118
OH, YES.
225
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:32,056
ANOTHER LOOSE-LIVING GASTROPOD
IS THE PERIWINKLE.
226
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,922
THIS SHAMELESS LITTLE LIBERTINE
227
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,655
WITH ITS CHARACTERISTIC
VENTRAL LOCOMOTION...
228
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,254
IS NOT THE MARRYING KIND...
229
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:39,924
"ANYWHERE, ANYTIME"
IS ITS MOTTO.
230
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,762
UP WITH THE SHELL
AND THEY'RE AT IT.
231
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,666
WHAT ABOUT THE LAMELLIBRANCHS?
232
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,897
I'M COMING TO THEM.
233
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:46,234
THE GREAT SCALLOP...
234
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,932
THIS TATTY, SCROFULOUS
OLD RAPIST
235
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:53,740
IS SECOND IN DEPRAVITY
ONLY TO THE COMMON CLAM.
236
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,770
THIS LATTER IS A RIGHT WHORE!
237
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,248
A HARLOT,
A TROLLOP
238
00:11:57,283 --> 00:12:00,684
A CYNICAL, BED-HOPPING,
FIRM-BREASTED
239
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,915
RABELAISIAN
BIT OF SEAFOOD
240
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,856
THAT MAKES FANNY HILL
LOOK LIKE A DEAD POPE.
241
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,792
AND FINALLY AMONG THE
LAMELLIBRANCH BIVALVES
242
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:12,423
THAT MOST DEPRAVED OF THE WHOLE
SUBSPECIES, THE WHELK.
243
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:18,428
THE WHELK IS NOTHING BUT
A HOMOSEXUAL OF THE WORST KIND.
244
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,406
THIS GAY BOY
OF THE GASTROPODS
245
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:24,603
THIS QUEER CRUSTACEAN,
THIS MINCING MOLLUSK
246
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:28,841
THIS SCREAMING, PRANCING,
LIMP-WRISTED QUEEN OF THE DEEP
247
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,542
MAKES ME SICK.
248
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,380
HAVE YOU GOT ONE?
249
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,407
HERE!
250
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:34,441
LET'S KILL IT.
251
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:37,383
DISGUSTING!
252
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,983
THERE,
THAT'LL TEACH IT.
253
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,720
WELL, THANK YOU FOR
A VERY INTERESTING PROGRAM.
254
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,127
OH, NOT AT ALL,
THANK YOU.
255
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,425
YES, THAT WAS
VERY NICE.
256
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:46,590
THANK YOU.
257
00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:47,599
OH, THANK YOU.
258
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:48,793
AND GOOD NIGHT.
259
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,301
AND NOW A WORD
FROM THE MAN IN THE...
260
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,462
STREET.
261
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:52,900
ANYWAY...
262
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,633
OOO...
263
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,107
COOCHY, COOCHY, COOCHY...
264
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,007
...DEAR LITTLE FELLOW.
265
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,673
LOOK AT THE TWINKLE IN HIS EYE.
266
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:11,220
OH, HE'S A LITTLE DEAR,
ISN'T HE?
267
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:14,454
YOU SHOULDN'T LET HIM
SUCK ON A DUMMY, MY DEAR.
268
00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:15,653
OH, MY GOD... NO!
269
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,127
DON'T TOUCH IT!
270
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,450
THE MINISTER FOR NOT
LISTENING TO PEOPLE
271
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,927
TOURED BATLEY TODAY
TO INVESTIGATE ALLEGATIONS
272
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,522
OF VICTIMIZATION IN HOME-LOAN
IMPROVEMENT GRANTS
273
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,499
MADE LAST WEEK
BY THE SHADOW-MINISTER
274
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:56,262
FOR JUDGING PEOPLE
AT FIRST SIGHT
275
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,770
TO BE MARGINALLY WORSE
THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE.
276
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:01,398
AT THE HOME OFFICE, THE MINISTER
FOR INSERTING HIMSELF
277
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,465
IN BETWEEN CHAIRS AND WALLS
IN MEN'S CLUBS
278
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,306
WAS AT HIS DESK
AFTER A SHORT ILLNESS.
279
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,904
HE SPENT THE MORNING
DEALING WITH THE IRISH SITUATION
280
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,915
AND LATER IN THE DAY
HAD LONG DISCUSSIONS
281
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,474
WITH THE MINISTER FOR RUNNING
UPSTAIRS TWO AT A TIME
282
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,985
FLINGING THE DOOR OPEN
283
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,044
AND SAYING, "HA, HA,
CAUGHT YOU, MILDRED."
284
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:18,852
IN THE COMMONS THERE WAS
ANOTHER DAY OF HEATED DEBATE
285
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,451
ON THE THIRD READING
OF THE TRADE PRACTICES BILL.
286
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,051
MR. ROLAND PENROSE
287
00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:25,757
THE UNDERSECRETARY FOR
MAKING DEEP GROWLING NOISES...
288
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,560
LAUNCHED A BITTER
PERSONAL ATTACK
289
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,593
ON THE EX-MINISTER FOR DELVING
DEEP INTO A BLACK SATIN BAG
290
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,901
AND PRODUCING A TUBE
OF EUTHYMOL TOOTHPASTE.
291
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,304
LATER IN THE DEBATE
292
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,366
THE JUNIOR MINISTER
FOR BEING FRIGHTENED
293
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:38,899
BY ANY KIND OF FARM MACHINERY
294
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:40,969
CHALLENGED
THE UNDERSECRETARY OF STATE
295
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,674
FOR HIDING FROM TERENCE RATTIGAN
296
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:45,013
TO PRODUCE THE CURRENT YEAR'S
TRADING FIGURES
297
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,917
AS SUPPLIED BY THE DEPARTMENT
OF STEALING PACKETS OF BANDAGES
298
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:50,114
FROM THE SELF-SERVICE COUNTER
AT TIMOTHY WHITES
299
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,486
AND SELLING THEM AGAIN
AT A CONSIDERABLE PROFIT.
300
00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:53,991
PARLIAMENT ROSE AT 11:30
301
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,893
AND, CRAWLING ALONG A DARK
PASSAGEWAY INTO THE OLD RECTORY
302
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,829
BROKE DOWN THE DOOR
TO THE SERVING HATCH
303
00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:00,331
PAINTED THE SPARE ROOM
304
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,300
AND NEXT WEEKEND
I THINK THEY'LL BE ABLE
305
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:04,063
TO MAKE A START
ON THE BOYS' BEDROOM.
306
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:07,004
WHILE AMY AND ROGER...
UP IN LONDON FOR TWO DAYS...
307
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,371
GO TO SEE
THE MYSTERIOUS MR. GRENVILLE.
308
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,467
HE IN TURN
HAS BEEN REVEALED BY D'ARCY
309
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,569
AS SOMETHING LESS
THAN AN HONEST MAN.
310
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:14,704
SYBIL FEELS ONCE AGAIN
311
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,374
A RESURGENCE
OF HER OLD AFFECTION
312
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,814
AND SHE AND BALREAU RETURN
313
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,045
TO HER LITTLE HOUSE
IN CLERMONT-FERRAND...
314
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,882
THE KIND OF TWO-UP,
TWO-DOWN HOUSE
315
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,754
THAT MOST FRENCH WORKERS...
AND, INDEED, MOST WORKERS
316
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,156
THROUGHOUT THE EUROPEAN
COMMUNITY... ARE LIVING IN TODAY.
317
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:28,658
THE EASE OF CONSTRUCTION
318
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,992
USING ON-SITE PREFABRICATION
FACILITIES
319
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,827
MAKES CHEAP HOUSING A REALITY.
320
00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,696
THE WALLS OF THESE HOUSES
ARE LINED
321
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:38,260
WITH PRESTRESSED ASBESTOS, WHICH
KEEPS THE HOUSE WARM AND SNUGGLY
322
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:41,569
AND EVER SO SAFE
FROM THE BIG BAD RABBIT
323
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,939
WHO CAN SCRATCH AND SCRATCH
FOR ALL HE'S WORTH
324
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:46,069
BUT HE JUST CAN'T GET
INTO PORKY'S HOUSE.
325
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,374
WHERE IS PORKY?
326
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:49,381
HERE HE IS.
327
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,406
WHAT A FUNNY LITTLE CHAP.
328
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:54,576
BUT PORKY IS ONE
OF THE LUCKY ONES.
329
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,919
HE SURVIVED THE URBAN UPHEAVAL
OF THE '30s AND '40s.
330
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,425
FOR HIM, JARROW IS STILL
JUST A MEMORY.
331
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,950
THE HUNGER MARCHES,
THE EAST END RIOTS
332
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:04,758
THE COLLAPSE OF
THE LABOR GOVERNMENT IN 1931
333
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,958
ARE DIM REMINDERS OF THE DAYS
334
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,433
BEFORE A NEWFOUND AFFLUENCE
SWEPT THE LAND
335
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,901
MAKING IT CLEAN AND TIDY
336
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:13,769
AND MAKING ALL THE SHOPS
FULL OF NICE THINGS:
337
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,104
LOVELY CHOO-CHOO TRAINS AND TOYS
338
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,507
AND SHINY CARS THAT GO
"BRRM, BRRM, BRRM"
339
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:21,479
AND EVERYBODY WAS HAPPY
AND SINGING ALL THE DAY LONG
340
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:24,073
AND NOBODY SAW
THE BIG BAD RABBIT EVER AGAIN.
341
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,913
BUT, OF COURSE,
IT'S ALL VERY EASY
342
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:27,316
TO BLAME THE BIG BAD RABBIT
343
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,753
WHEN BY-ELECTIONS ARE GOING
AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT.
344
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:32,086
UT HOW OFTEN DO YOU THINK
345
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:33,557
WE SHOULD REALLY
BE BLAMING OURSELVES?
346
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:36,060
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHERE
WE OUGHT TO START LOOKING.
347
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,423
HELLO... ALL THE ACTIVITY
YOU CAN SEE HERE IN PROGRESS
348
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,126
IS PART OF THE INTRICATE...
349
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:28,105
PREPARATIONS FOR THE BRITISH
NAVAL EXPEDITION TO LAKE PAHOE.
350
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,438
THE LEADER OF THE EXPEDITION IS
351
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:31,465
SIR JANE RUSSELL.
352
00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:35,336
SIR JANE, WHAT IS THE
PURPOSE OF YOUR EXPEDITION?
353
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:36,972
WELL, THIS IS A COMPLETELY
UNCHARTED LAKE
354
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:38,846
WITH, LIKE, HITHERTO
UNCLASSIFIED MARINE LIFE, MAN
355
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,648
SO THE WHOLE SCENE'S WIDE OPEN
FOR A SCIENTIFIC EXPLORATION.
356
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:44,053
ONE CAN SEE THE IMMENSE
AMOUNT OF PREPARATION INVOLVED.
357
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:45,522
HAVE THERE BEEN
MANY DIFFICULTIES
358
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:46,854
IN SETTING UP THIS VENTURE?
359
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:48,951
WELL, THE REAL HANG-UP
WAS WITH THE BREAD, MAN
360
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,894
BUT WHEN THE TOP-BRASS PIGS
CAME THROUGH
361
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,829
WE GOT IT TOGETHER
IN A COUPLE OF MOONS.
362
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,197
COMMODORE BETTY GRABLE,
WHO'S A REAL SUB-AQUA HEAD
363
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:56,565
HAS GOT IT TOGETHER DIVING-WISE
364
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,729
AND, LIKE, THE WHOLE GIG'S
BEEN A REAL GAS, MAN.
365
00:18:58,770 --> 00:18:59,702
THANK YOU.
366
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,101
LIEUTENANT COMMANDER
DOROTHY LAMOUR.
367
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,508
PIECES OF EIGHT.
368
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:09,370
DOROTHY, YOU'RE IN CHARGE
OF THE SECURITY AND LIAISON
369
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:10,539
FOR THIS OPERATION.
370
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,140
RIGHT ON.
371
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:15,381
YOU'VE KEPT THIS ALL
VERY HUSH-HUSH SO FAR, SHIPMATE.
372
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,250
YEAH, IT'S BEEN
REALLY HEAVY, MAN
373
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:19,723
WITH ALL THESE FREAKS
FROM THE FASCIST PRESS
374
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,521
TRYING TO BLOW
THE WHOLE SCENE.
375
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,084
THERE'S NO DOUBT
ABOUT IT
376
00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:24,561
THIS EXPEDITION
DOES HAVE
377
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,757
SOME RATHER UNUSUAL
ASPECTS, JIM LAD.
378
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:30,256
FOR A START, WHY DO THE SENIOR
PERSONNEL ALL BEAR THE NAMES
379
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:32,361
OF HOLLYWOOD FILM STARS
OF THE '40s
380
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:33,837
AND FEMALE ONES AT THAT?
381
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:36,136
SHIVER ME TIMBERS,
'TIS THE BLACK SPOT
382
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,576
AND SECONDLY, I BE NOT AFRAID
OF THEE, BLIND PEW!
383
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:42,603
WHY DO THEY TALK THIS
RATHER STRANGE, STILTED
384
00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,206
UNDERGROUND JARGON?
385
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:47,912
BELAY THE MAIN BRACE, SQUIRE
TRELAWNEY, THIS BE MY SHIP NOW!
386
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,421
AH! A TRANQUILIZING
DART FIRED
387
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,981
BY THE COWARDLY BBC
HEALTH DEPARTMENT DOGS.
388
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:58,258
THEY'VE DONE FILLED ME FULL
OF CHLORPROMAZINE! DAMN!
389
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:03,865
I'M SORRY ABOUT MY COLLEAGUE'S
RATHER UNCONVENTIONAL BEHAVIOR.
390
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:04,926
THE NAVY'S
OUT OF SIGHT!
391
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,198
COME TOGETHER
WITH THE R.N.
392
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:08,035
IT REALLY IS SOMETHING
OTHER THAN ELSE.
393
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,254
CAN YOU DIG IT, MAN?
394
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,397
HELLO... I'M SORRY
ABOUT MY COLLEAGUE'S
395
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,456
RATHER UNCONVENTIONAL
BEHAVIOR JUST NOW
396
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,091
BUT THINGS HAVEN'T BEEN
TOO EASY FOR HIM RECENTLY...
397
00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:38,466
TROUBLE AT HOME...
398
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:41,472
RATHER CONFIDENTIAL, SO I CAN'T
GIVE YOU ALL THE DETAILS
399
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,269
INTERESTING THOUGH THEY ARE.
400
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:46,004
THREE BOTTLES OF RUM WITH
HIS WEETABIX, AND SO FORTH.
401
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,376
ANYWAY... APPARENTLY,
THE GIRL WASN'T EVEN...
402
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,246
ANYWAY, THE ACTIVITY
YOU SEE BEHIND ME...
403
00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:53,615
IT'S THE MOTHER
I FEEL SORRY FOR.
404
00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,244
I'LL START AGAIN.
405
00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:57,983
THE ACTIVITY YOU SEE BEHIND ME
IS PART OF THE PREPARATIONS
406
00:20:58,023 --> 00:21:00,014
FOR THE NEW NAVAL EXPEDITION
TO LAKE PAHOE.
407
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,923
THE MAN IN CHARGE
OF THIS EXPEDITION IS
408
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,484
VICE ADMIRAL
SIR JOHN CUNNINGHAM.
409
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:05,154
SIR JOHN,
HELLO, THERE.
410
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:06,357
HELLO... WELL,
FIRST OF ALL
411
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:07,387
I'D LIKE
TO APOLOGIZE
412
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,491
FOR THE BEHAVIOR OF
CERTAIN OF MY COLLEAGUES
413
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:10,762
YOU MAY HAVE
SEEN EARLIER
414
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:12,895
BUT THEY ARE
FROM BROKEN HOMES
415
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,667
CIRCUS FAMILIES
AND SO ON
416
00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:16,731
AND THEY ARE IN NO
WAY REPRESENTATIVE
417
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:19,107
OF THE NEW, MODERN,
IMPROVED BRITISH NAVY.
418
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:22,113
THEY ARE A SMALL,
VOCIFEROUS MINORITY.
419
00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:23,944
AND MAY I TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY
420
00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:26,507
OF EMPHASIZING THAT
THERE IS NO CANNIBALISM
421
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:27,813
IN THE BRITISH NAVY...
422
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:28,911
ABSOLUTELY NONE.
423
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,216
AND WHEN I SAY NONE
424
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:32,348
I MEAN THERE IS
A CERTAIN AMOUNT...
425
00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,655
MORE THAN WE ARE
PREPARED TO ADMIT...
426
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:36,661
BUT ALL NEW RATINGS
ARE WARNED
427
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:39,027
THAT IF THEY WAKE UP
IN THE MORNING
428
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:40,463
AND FIND ANY
TOOTH MARKS AT ALL
429
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:42,057
ANYWHERE ON
THEIR BODIES
430
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,091
THEY'RE TO TELL
ME IMMEDIATELY
431
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,003
SO THAT I CAN IMMEDIATELY
TAKE EVERY MEASURE
432
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,836
TO HUSH THE
WHOLE THING UP.
433
00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:53,743
AND FINALLY, NECROPHILIA
IS RIGHT OUT.
434
00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:56,373
NOW, THIS EXPEDITION
IS PRIMARILY
435
00:21:56,415 --> 00:22:01,079
TO INVESTIGATE REPORTS OF
CANNIBALISM AND NECROPHILIA IN...
436
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,087
THIS EXPEDITION
IS PRIMARILY
437
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:06,318
TO INVESTIGATE REPORTS
OF UNUSUAL MARINE LIFE
438
00:22:06,358 --> 00:22:08,883
IN THE AS-YET
UNCHARTED LAKE PAHOE.
439
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:11,259
AND WHERE EXACTLY
IS THE LAKE?
440
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,662
UH... 22A,
RUNCORN AVENUE.
441
00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:15,929
YES, THAT'S RIGHT, 22A.
442
00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:17,400
RUNCORN AVENUE?
443
00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:19,028
YES, IT'S JUST
BY BLENHEIM CRESCENT.
444
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:20,163
DO YOU KNOW IT?
445
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:22,105
UH, YOU MEAN IT'S
IN AN ORDINARY STREET?
446
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:23,732
IT IS NOT AN
ORDINARY STREET...
447
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:24,969
IT'S GOT
A LAKE IN IT!
448
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:25,999
YES, BUT I...
449
00:22:26,044 --> 00:22:27,341
LOOK, HOW MANY
STREETS DO YOU KNOW
450
00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:28,437
THAT HAVE GOT
LAKES IN THEM?
451
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,573
I MEAN, IS IT VERY LARGE?
452
00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,115
OF COURSE
IT'S NOT LARGE.
453
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:34,914
YOU COULDN'T GET A LARGE
LAKE IN RUNCORN AVENUE!
454
00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:37,444
YOU'D HAVE TO KNOCK
DOWN THE TOBACCONIST'S!
455
00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:39,081
JENKINS...
456
00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:40,421
NO!
457
00:22:48,767 --> 00:22:50,962
I'M NOW STANDING
IN RUNCORN AVENUE.
458
00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:53,266
SIR JOHN, WHERE
EXACTLY IS THE LAKE?
459
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:56,103
UH, WELL LET'S SEE,
THAT'S 18...
460
00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:59,008
THAT'S 20,
SO THIS MUST BE THE ONE.
461
00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,375
UM, EXCUSE ME, UM...
462
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:01,902
YES, THIS IS
THE ONE, ALL RIGHT.
463
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:02,936
BUT IT'S
AN ORDINARY HOUSE.
464
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,278
LOOK, I'M GETTING
PRETTY IRRITATED
465
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,011
WITH THIS LINE
OF QUESTIONING.
466
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,382
BUT IT DOESN'T EVEN
LOOK LIKE A LAKE.
467
00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:09,216
LOOK, YOUR WHOLE APPROACH
SINCE THIS INTERVIEW STARTED
468
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:10,312
HAS BEEN
TO MOCK THE NAVY.
469
00:23:10,355 --> 00:23:12,585
WHEN I THINK THAT
FOR THE LIKES OF YOU
470
00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:14,785
I HAD BOTH MY LEGS
BLOWN OFF...
471
00:23:14,826 --> 00:23:16,521
BUT YOU HAVEN'T HAD BOTH
YOUR LEGS BLOWN OFF!
472
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,791
I WAS TALKING
METAPHORICALLY, YOU FOOL.
473
00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:20,024
JENKINS...
474
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:22,260
PUT THAT DOWN.
475
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,858
RIGHT, IS
THE EQUIPMENT READY?
476
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:25,836
DIVING EQUIPMENT
ALL READY, MAN.
477
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:28,503
RIGHT... NOW,
QUITE SIMPLY
478
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,633
THE APPROACH TO LAKE
PAHOE IS UP THE STEPS
479
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:33,006
AND THEN WE COME TO
THE SHORES OF THE LAKE.
480
00:23:33,044 --> 00:23:34,636
NOW, I'M GOING
TO PRESS THE BELL
481
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:36,475
JUST TO SEE IF
THERE'S ANYONE IN.
482
00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:40,377
HELLO?
483
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:43,115
GOOD MORNING, I'M LOOKING
FOR A LAKE PAHOE.
484
00:23:44,656 --> 00:23:46,123
THERE'S A MR. PADGETT.
485
00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:47,648
NO, NO, A LAKE.
486
00:23:47,692 --> 00:23:49,057
THERE'S NO LAKE HERE, MATE.
487
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:50,425
THIS IS RUNCORN AVENUE.
488
00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,793
WHAT'S THAT CAMERA DOING?
489
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:53,821
CAMERA? WHAT'S HE WANT?
490
00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:55,833
OOH, ARE WE ON THE TELLY?
491
00:23:55,867 --> 00:23:57,164
HE'S LOOKING
FOR A LAKE.
492
00:23:57,202 --> 00:23:58,601
LAKE PAHOE.
493
00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:01,902
OH, YOU WANT DOWNSTAIRS,
22A, THE BASEMENT.
494
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,874
AH! THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
GOOD MORNING.
495
00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,171
COME ON, MEN, DOWNSTAIRS.
496
00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:06,905
UH, WERE YOU SUCCESSFUL,
SIR JOHN?
497
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,037
IT'S IN THE BASEMENT.
498
00:24:08,079 --> 00:24:09,637
IN THE BASEMENT?
499
00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:10,648
PIECES OF EIGHT!
500
00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:12,081
UGH!
501
00:24:15,887 --> 00:24:16,979
HELLO?
502
00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:21,084
OH, I THINK IT'S
SOMEONE ABOUT THE DAMP.
503
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,093
HELLO.
504
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,094
TELL THEM
505
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:24,652
ABOUT THE
BLEEDING RATS, TOO.
506
00:24:24,696 --> 00:24:26,823
I'LL GO.
507
00:24:26,865 --> 00:24:28,093
YES?
508
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:31,967
GOOD MORNING,
IS THIS LAKE PAHOE?
509
00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:35,837
WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,
BUT IT'S BLEEDING DAMP.
510
00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:37,603
ARE YOU FROM THE COUNCIL?
511
00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:42,670
NO, WE ARE THE OFFICIAL BRITISH
NAVAL EXPEDITION TO THIS LAKE.
512
00:24:42,714 --> 00:24:43,976
MAY WE COME IN?
513
00:24:44,015 --> 00:24:45,642
HANG ON.
514
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:57,260
BLOODY SHARKS.
515
00:24:57,295 --> 00:24:58,626
GET BACK IN...
516
00:24:58,663 --> 00:24:59,630
GET IN.
517
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,688
GET IN.
518
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:12,670
WELL, THAT WOULD APPEAR
TO BE THE END OF THE EXPEDITION.
519
00:25:14,312 --> 00:25:15,540
THE MAGNA CARTA...
520
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:17,844
WAS IT A DOCUMENT SIGNED
AT RUNNYMEDE
521
00:25:17,883 --> 00:25:19,111
IN 1215 BY KING JOHN
522
00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:21,744
PLEDGING INDEPENDENCE
TO THE ENGLISH BARONS
523
00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:25,186
OR WAS IT A PIECE OF CHEWING GUM
ON A BEDSPREAD IN DORSET?
524
00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:27,851
THE LATTER IDEA IS
THE BRAINCHILD OF A MAN
525
00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:30,453
NEW TO THE FIELD
OF HISTORICAL RESEARCH.
526
00:25:30,495 --> 00:25:34,261
MR. BADGER, WHY... WHY
ARE YOU ON THIS PROGRAM?
527
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:37,700
WELL, I
THINK I CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION
528
00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:39,203
MOST SUCCESSFULLY IN MIME.
529
00:25:51,449 --> 00:25:53,007
BUT WHY DORSET?
530
00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:56,943
WELL, I HAVE FOR A LONG TIME
BEEN SUFFERING
531
00:25:56,988 --> 00:25:58,785
FROM A SPECIES OF BRAIN IN JURY
532
00:25:58,823 --> 00:26:01,656
WHICH I INCURRED
DURING THE RIGORS OF CHILDBIRTH
533
00:26:01,693 --> 00:26:05,094
AND I'D LIKE TO CONCLUDE
BY PUTTING MY FINGER UP MY NOSE.
534
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:07,758
MR. BADGER, I THINK
YOU'RE THE SILLIEST PERSON
535
00:26:07,799 --> 00:26:09,562
WE'VE EVER HAD ON THIS PROGRAM
536
00:26:09,601 --> 00:26:10,727
AND SO I'M GOING
TO ASK YOU
537
00:26:10,769 --> 00:26:11,758
TO HAVE DINNER
WITH ME.
538
00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:16,603
MY WIFE MAUREEN RAN OFF
WITH A BOTTLE OF BELL'S WHISKEY
539
00:26:16,641 --> 00:26:19,337
DURING THE ABERDEEN
VERSUS RAITH ROVERS MATCH
540
00:26:19,377 --> 00:26:21,174
WHICH ENDED
IN A GOAL-LESS DRAW.
541
00:26:21,212 --> 00:26:24,010
ROBSON, PARTICULARLY, IN GOAL,
HAD A MAGNIFICENT FIRST HALF
542
00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:26,381
HIS FINE POSITIONAL SENSE
PREVENTING THE BUILD-UP
543
00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:29,080
OF ANY SEVERE PRESSURE
ON THE SUSPECT ABERDEEN DEFENSE.
544
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:30,815
McLOUGHLAN MISSED
AN EASY CHANCE
545
00:26:30,889 --> 00:26:33,084
TO CLINCH THE GAME TOWARDS
THE FINAL WHISTLE
546
00:26:33,124 --> 00:26:34,751
BUT RAITH MUST BE
WELL SATISFIED
547
00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:35,760
WITH THEIR POINT.
548
00:26:35,794 --> 00:26:37,318
DO PLEASE GO ON.
549
00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:39,523
THIS IS THE LEAST FASCINATING
CONVERSATION I'VE EVER HAD.
550
00:26:39,564 --> 00:26:40,997
WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER, SIR?
551
00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:43,523
YES, MR. BADGER, WHAT WOULD
YOU LIKE TO START WITH?
552
00:26:43,568 --> 00:26:46,696
UH, I'LL HAVE A WHISKEY
TO START WITH.
553
00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:47,830
FOR FIRST COURSE, SIR?
554
00:26:47,906 --> 00:26:49,635
AYE.
555
00:26:49,674 --> 00:26:51,403
AND FOR MAIN COURSE, SIR?
556
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,707
UH, I'LL HAVE A WHISKEY
FOR MAIN COURSE
557
00:26:53,745 --> 00:26:56,771
AND I'LL FOLLOW THAT WITH
A WHISKEY FOR PUDDING.
558
00:26:56,815 --> 00:27:00,307
YES, SIR, AND WHAT WOULD YOU
LIKE WITH IT, SIR? A WHISKEY?
559
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:01,614
NO, A BOTTLE OF WINE.
560
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:05,616
"FINE, SIR," HE SAID
BETWEEN CLENCHED TEETH
561
00:27:05,657 --> 00:27:08,683
KNOWING FULL WELL IT WAS
A MOST UNREWARDING PART.
562
00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:12,288
THIS IS THE SILLIEST SKETCH
I'VE EVER BEEN IN.
563
00:27:12,330 --> 00:27:14,230
SHALL WE STOP IT?
564
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:18,035
YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
565
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll