1
00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:05,163
MORNING, SIR,
CAN I HELP YOU?
2
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:06,797
OH, YES, I WONDERED
IF YOU HAVE
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,865
ANY PART-TIME VACANCIES
ON YOUR BOOKS.
4
00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:10,671
PART-TIME, I'LL
HAVE A LOOK, SIR.
5
00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:13,178
SEE WE'VE GOT,
UH... AH, YES.
6
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,805
SIR WALTER RALEIGH
IS EQUIPPING
7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,509
ANOTHER EXPEDITION
TO VIRGINIA.
8
00:00:16,549 --> 00:00:18,176
HE NEEDS TRADERS
AND SAILORS.
9
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:19,185
VITTLERS NEEDED
10
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:20,846
AT THE COURT
OF PHILIP OF SPAIN.
11
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:21,979
OH, YEAH,
AND THEY WANT
12
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,387
MASTER JOINERS
AND CRAFTSMEN
13
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,323
FOR THE BUILDING OF
THE GLOBE THEATER.
14
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,485
I SEE, HAVEN'T YOU GOT
ANYTHING A BIT MORE MODERN?
15
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:28,892
YOU KNOW, LIKE
A JOB ON THE BUSES
16
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:30,054
OR DIGGING
THE UNDERGROUND?
17
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:31,620
WELL, NO,
WE ONLY HAVE TUDOR JOBS.
18
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:33,359
THAT CAN'T BE VERY
PROFITABLE, CAN IT?
19
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,231
WELL, YOU'D BE SURPRISED,
ACTUALLY, SIR.
20
00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:36,530
THE TUDOR ECONOMY'S BOOMING
21
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,002
EVER SINCE
SIR HUMPHREY GILBERT
22
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,438
OPENED UP
THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE TO CATHAY
23
00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:41,940
AND THE CABOTS'
EXPANSION IN CANADA
24
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,966
THERE'S BEEN A TREMENDOUS
SURGE IN EXPORTS
25
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,342
AND TRADE WITH THE
HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE IS GOING...
26
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,370
NO, QUITE RIGHT,
IT'S NO GOOD AT ALL.
27
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,382
WHAT?
28
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:50,713
IT'S A DEAD LOSS.
29
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,378
WE HAVEN'T PUT ANYONE
IN A JOB SINCE 1625.
30
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,387
I SEE.
31
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:55,388
THAT'S ALL?
32
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:56,389
WHAT?
33
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:57,549
THAT'S ALL YOU SAY?
34
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:58,557
YES.
35
00:00:58,591 --> 00:00:59,615
NO, NO, WE WERE
THE TOPS THEN.
36
00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:01,217
DRAKE GOT ALL HIS SAILORS HERE.
37
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:04,162
ELIZABETH, WE SUPPLIED THE
ARCHBISHOPS FOR HER CORONATION.
38
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:06,392
SHAKESPEARE STARTED OFF
FROM HERE AS A TEMP.
39
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:07,627
THEN CAME
JAMES I
40
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,658
AND THE BOTTOM FELL OUT
OF THE TUDOR JOBS.
41
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:12,671
1603... 800 VACANCIES FILLED.
42
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,195
1604... 4O.
43
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,730
1605... NONE.
44
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,072
1606... NONE.
45
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,975
THE REST OF
THE STUART PERIOD... NOTHING.
46
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,070
HANOVERIANS... NOTHING.
47
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,080
VICTORIANS... NOTHING.
48
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,240
SAXE-COBURGS... NOTHING.
49
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,840
WINDSORS... WHAT DID YOU WANT?
50
00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:25,009
DIRTY BOOKS, PLEASE.
51
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:26,518
RIGHT.
52
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,646
SIR, SORRY ABOUT
THE TUDOR BIT.
53
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:31,418
BUT YOU CAN'T BE
TOO CAREFUL, YOU KNOW?
54
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,926
HAVE YOU GOT
ANYTHING A BIT, UH?
55
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,927
STRONGER? HOLD ON.
56
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,087
MY LORD OF WARWICK!
57
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:37,096
'ALLO!
58
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,324
RAISE HIGH
THE DRAWBRIDGE.
59
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:39,695
GLOUCESTER'S TROOPS
APPROACH.
60
00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:40,892
RIGHT!
61
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,458
CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL,
YOU KNOW, SIR.
62
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,739
THERE'S BRIDGET,
QUEEN OF THE WHIP.
63
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,401
YES...
64
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,103
OR THERE'S
NAUGHTY NORA.
65
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,111
NO...
66
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,772
OR THERE'S
THIS ONE:
67
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:55,781
DOUG, BOB AND GORDON
VISIT THE ARK ROYAL.
68
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,616
OR THERE'S SISTER TERESA,
THE SPANKING NUN.
69
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,780
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING SPECIFICALLY
70
00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,346
ABOUT DEVON
AND CORNWALL?
71
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,381
NO, I'M AFRAID NOT, SIR.
72
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,087
THE ONE I WAS
REALLY AFTER WAS
73
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,926
ARTHUR HOTCHKISS'
DEVONSHIRE COUNTRY CHURCHES.
74
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,194
WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS,
SIR... BUM BITERS?
75
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,126
NO, NOT REALLY.
76
00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:17,636
AND I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE GOT
77
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:20,298
ANY GENERAL SURVEYS OF
ENGLISH CHURCH ARCHITECTURE?
78
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,137
IT'S NOT REALLY OUR LINE, SIR.
79
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,665
NO, I SEE, WELL, NEVER MIND.
80
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,302
I'LL JUST TAKE THE LORD
LIEUTENANT IN NYLONS THEN
81
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:29,304
AND I'LL TRADE IN THESE TWO
COPIES OF PIGGIE PARADE.
82
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,316
RIGHT, SIR.
83
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,476
MY LORD OF WARWICK!
84
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:32,485
'ALLO?
85
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:33,816
RAISE HIGH
THE DRAWBRIDGE.
86
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:35,320
GLOUCESTER'S
TROOPS APPROACH!
87
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,413
RIGHT!
88
00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:42,394
JUST THESE, THEN.
89
00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:43,793
ALL RIGHT,
THIS IS A RAID.
90
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,661
MY NAME IS
SUPERINTENDENT GASKELL
91
00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:47,689
AND THIS IS
SERGEANT MADDOX.
92
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,429
SIR PHILLIP SIDNEY,
'TIS GOOD TO SEE THEE
93
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,436
ON THESE SHORES AGAIN.
94
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,164
SHUT UP.
95
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:52,637
YOUR SUIT IS FAIR
AND GOODLY CUT.
96
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:53,639
WAS'T FROM ANTWERP?
97
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,072
SHUT UP. IT'S A DISGUISE.
98
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,508
RIGHT! CONFISCATE
THE SMUTTY BOOKS, MADDOX.
99
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:58,738
SIR PHILLIP, PRITHEE NAY!
100
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,143
LISTEN, MATE
101
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,410
DON'T COME THAT
PHILLIP SIDNEY BIT WITH ME.
102
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,245
I'M NOT A BLOODY TUDOR AT ALL.
103
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:07,720
I'M GASKELL OF THE VICE SQUAD
AND THIS IS SERGEANT MADDOX.
104
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,018
MADDOX?!
105
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,992
WHERE'S HE GONE?
106
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,824
SIR PHILLIP, PRITHEE
REST AWHILE.
107
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,352
LOOK, THIS IS
THE LAST TIME
108
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,421
I'M WARNING YOU.
109
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,398
I'M NOT SIR PHILLIP
BLEEDING SIDNEY.
110
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,298
I AM SUPERINTENDENT
HAROLD GASKELL
111
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,393
AND THIS IS A RAID.
112
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:25,233
THAT'LL BE
540 QUID, SIR.
113
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,803
OH, I'LL JUST HAVE
THIS ONE THEN.
114
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,536
MADDOX!
115
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:33,239
LOOK, THIS IS A RAID...
116
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,712
HONESTLY.
117
00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:35,714
I PROMISE YOU.
118
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:36,874
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
119
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:37,883
I'M GOING HOME.
120
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:38,884
RIGHT.
121
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:39,885
WELL, I'LL REMEMBER YOU.
122
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,887
DON'T YOU WORRY,
I'LL REMEMBER YOU.
123
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,183
PRAY, GOOD
SIR PHILLIP...
124
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,212
DON'T YOU START.
125
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,781
MADDOX!
126
00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:48,055
LISTEN, I CAN PROVE
TO YOU I'M A POLICEMAN.
127
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,891
I'LL GIVE THE NAMES
OF ALL THE MEN
128
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,554
DOWN IN "F" DIVISION
AT ACTON.
129
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:52,895
INSPECTOR ARTHUR PERRY
130
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:55,059
SUPERINTENDENT CHARLES
FRODWELL, MY BEST FRIEND
131
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,592
POLICE DOGS BUTCH,
WOLF, PANTHER, MAUDLING.
132
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,195
HOW WOULD
I KNOW THOSE NAMES
133
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,797
IF I WAS
SIR PHILLIP SIDNEY?
134
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,707
VICAR, VICAR,
YOU KNOW ME.
135
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,142
THE GARGOYLE CLUB.
136
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,112
I GOT YOU
OFF THE CHARGE.
137
00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:09,410
FAREWELL, GOOD
SIR PHILLIP.
138
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,814
HEY, STOP!
139
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,841
MADDOX!
140
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:22,619
YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS,
YOU PORN MERCHANT!
141
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,590
BLIMEY!
142
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,798
MADDOX?
143
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:33,435
MADDOX!
144
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:38,809
OH, GOOD SIR, HOW GLAD
I AM TO SEE THEE COME.
145
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:43,805
FORGIVE ME WEEPING,
BUT MY LOVE HAS GONE.
146
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,681
UH, LISTEN,
MY NAME IS GASKELL...
147
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,948
SUPERINTENDENT GASKELL
OF VICE SQUAD.
148
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:50,717
MYSELF AND
SERGEANT MADDOX...
149
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,122
ARE ON A RAID.
150
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:53,489
WE ARE NOT TUDOR PEOPLE.
151
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:54,550
WE ARE THE POLICE.
152
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:57,529
FRANCES, WHAT IDLENESS IS THIS?
153
00:04:57,563 --> 00:05:00,191
WHY, GOOD SIR
PHILLIP SIDNEY!
154
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,133
WHAT HAST THOU HERE?
155
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:05,296
YOU ARE SIR
PHILLIP SIDNEY?
156
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,497
POSSIBLY...
157
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:10,372
BUT I MAY BE
SUPERINTENDENT GASKELL
158
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,468
OF THE VICE SQUAD.
159
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:12,739
AH, GOOD, SIR PHILLIP
160
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,475
THY SHARP-TONGUED WIT
HAS NOT DESERTED THEE.
161
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,574
COME, LET US
EAT AND DRINK.
162
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,244
STAY WITH US AWHILE.
163
00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:21,150
ALL RIGHT, SIR,
I THINK I WILL.
164
00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,690
THEN... THEN DID WE BUST
THE HARRY TONY MOB
165
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:32,857
WHO DID SEEK TO IMPORT
166
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,423
SCANDINAVIAN FILTH
VIA GERMANY.
167
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,458
FOR SIX YEARS THEY
CLEANED UP A PACKET.
168
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,834
THE DAY I GOT WHIFF OF THEM
THROUGH A SQUEALER
169
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,896
DID, WITHIN A WEEK,
A MOP-UP RIGHT GOOD.
170
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,134
THEY'RE NOW LANGUISHING
171
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,006
DOING FIVE YEARS'
BIRD IN PARKHURST.
172
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:49,682
SIR PHILLIP!
173
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,115
THE SPANIARDS
HAVE LANDED
174
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,378
IN THE
NETHERLANDS.
175
00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,852
MY LORD WALSINGHAM NEEDS
YOU THERE FORTHWITH.
176
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:56,115
LET'S GO.
177
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:57,645
GOOD LUCK, SIR PHILLIP!
178
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:58,884
FIGHT AGAINST FILTH!
179
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:06,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
180
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,961
WHERE ARE
THE SPANIARDS?
181
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,233
DOWN BELOW, SIR PHILLIP.
182
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:17,037
THEIR FIRST BOATS
ARE LANDING EVEN NOW.
183
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,908
RIGHT, YOU STAY HERE,
I'LL GO AND GET THEM.
184
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,573
SIR PHILLIP, NOT ALONE!
185
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,262
'ALLO, 'ALLO!
186
00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:42,062
WHAT'S GOING
ON HERE?
187
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:45,434
IS NOTHING,
SENOR, IS JUST SOME LITERATURE.
188
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,638
I KNOW WHAT LITERATURE
IS, YOU DAGO DUSTBIN.
189
00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,872
I ALSO KNOW
WHAT PORN IS.
190
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,380
WHAT'S THIS THEN, EH?
191
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,907
IS ONE OF LOPE DE VEGA'S
LATEST PLAYS, SENOR.
192
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:00,475
TOLEDO TIT PARADE?
193
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,818
WHAT KIND OF A PLAY IS THAT?
194
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:05,255
IS VERY VISUAL, SENOR.
195
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:06,849
RIGHT, I'M TAKING
THIS LOT IN
196
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:09,760
IN THE NAME OF HER GRACIOUS
MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH.
197
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:10,763
OH, BUT SENOR.
198
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,230
DON'T GIVE ME
ANY TROUBLE.
199
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,233
JUST PILE UP THESE
BASKETS OF FILTH
200
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,234
AND COME WITH ME.
201
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,292
NO!
202
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:38,524
THE BATTLE RAGED LONG AND HARD
203
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:42,289
BUT AS NIGHT FELL,
SIDNEY OVERCAME THE SPANIARDS.
204
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:45,024
6,000 COPIES OF TITS AND BUMS
205
00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:50,058
AND 4,000 COPIES OF SHOWER
SHEILA WERE SEIZED THAT DAY.
206
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:53,333
THE TIDE OF SPANISH PORN
WAS STEMMED.
207
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:57,570
SIR PHILLIP SIDNEY RETURNED
TO LONDON IN TRIUMPH.
208
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,134
COVERED IN GLORY
209
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,772
SIR PHILLIP RODE HOME
TO PENSHURST
210
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,874
TO SEE HIS BELOVED WIFE.
211
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,818
BUT ALL WAS NOT WELL.
212
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,486
GOOD EVENING ALL,
MY LOVE.
213
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:14,687
I HAVE RETURNED SAFE
FROM THE LOW COUNTRIES.
214
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:17,160
WHAT ART THOU
READING, FAIR ONE?
215
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,925
OH, IT IS NOTHING,
HUSBAND.
216
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,557
I CAN SEE 'TIS
SOMETHING.
217
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,001
UH... 'TIS ONE OF
SHAKESPEARE'S LATEST WORKS.
218
00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:25,230
OH...
219
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:28,006
GAY BOYS IN BONDAGE.
220
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:31,676
WHAT, IS'T...
TRAGEDY? COMEDY?
221
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,179
UH... 'TIS, UH...
222
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:37,671
'TIS A STORY OF A...
A MAN'S GREAT LOVE
223
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,185
FOR HIS... FELLOW MEN.
224
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,016
HOW FORTUNATE
WE ARE INDEED
225
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:44,522
TO HAVE SUCH A POET
ON THESE SHORES.
226
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,683
INDEED.
227
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,090
HOW WAS THE WAR,
MY LORD?
228
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,991
THE SPANIARDS WERE
DEFEATED THRICE.
229
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,861
SIX DOZEN CHESTS
OF HARD-CORE CAPTURED.
230
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,866
HAST BROUGHT HOME
ANY SPOILS OF WAR?
231
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,390
YES, GOOD MY WIFE.
232
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:58,335
THIS FAIR COAT
TRIMMED WITH ERMINE.
233
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,498
OH, LOVELY.
234
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,598
NOWT ELSE?
235
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,836
NO, NO, FAIR LADY,
THE REST WAS TOO SMUTTY.
236
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,936
NOW, MY GOOD WIFE, WHILE
I REST, READ TO ME A WHILE
237
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:09,413
FROM SHAKESPEARE'S
GAY BOYS IN BONDAGE.
238
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,217
UH...
239
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:14,583
YES, MY LORD.
240
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,056
GAY BOYS IN BONDAGE.
241
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:28,896
"KEN, 25, IS A MOUNTED POLICEMAN
WITH A DIFFERENCE
242
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,836
"AND, WHAT A DIFFERENCE!
243
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,203
"EVEN ROGER
IS SURPRISED
244
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,700
"AND HE'S...
HE'S USED TO REAL MEN.
245
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,234
'TIS LIKE HAMLET.
246
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,608
WHAT A GENIUS!
247
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:44,138
"BUT WHO IS GOING TO DO
THE COOKING TONIGHT?
248
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,741
RODDY'S GOT A MOUTHFUL..."
249
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:46,752
ALL RIGHT!
250
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,980
THIS IS A RAID.
251
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,817
OH, WE ARE DISGRACED.
252
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,117
THERE YOU ARE, MADDOX.
253
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,182
CUT THE CHAT
AND GET IN THE VAN.
254
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:54,783
MADDOX,
YOU RECOGNIZE ME.
255
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,454
INDEED I DO,
SIR PHILLIP SIDNEY
256
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:57,757
AND SAD I AM
TO SEE YOU
257
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,697
CAUGHT UP IN THIS
MORASS OF FILTH.
258
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,256
OOH, THAT'S A LONG ONE.
259
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,463
OH, OH, THE GLORIOUS NAME
OF SIDNEY IS BESMIRCHED.
260
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,437
ALL IS LOST,
OH, ALAS THE DAY!
261
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:07,837
SHUT UP!
I KNOW THIS MAN.
262
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,773
IT'S ME OLD MATE,
SERGEANT MADDOX.
263
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,504
YOU'LL DO TIME
FOR THIS.
264
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,806
OH, MADDOX,
IT'S ME, GASKELL...
265
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,005
"F" DIVISION
DOWN AT ACTON.
266
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,274
INSPECTOR
ARTHUR FRODWELL...
267
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,610
COME ON, SIDNEY.
268
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:17,775
AND YOU, MISS.
269
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,045
I'M NOT SIR PHILLIP
BLEEDING SIDNEY.
270
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,211
WHERE WERE YOU?
271
00:10:20,252 --> 00:10:22,846
WE COULD HAVE MOPPED
UP THAT TUDOR SHOP.
272
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:24,981
OOH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
273
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,651
IT'S ME,
IT'S GASKELL.
274
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:31,061
YES, I'LL EXPLAIN
THIS TO YOU
275
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,621
WHEN I GET BACK
AT THE STATION
276
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:35,031
THAT YOU'VE GOT
THE WRONG MAN!
277
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,558
PRITHEE, WHAT IS'T
THAT HERE I HOLD?
278
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,754
IF IS'T BE BRIAN'S,
THAN TO FIGHT I GO.
279
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:03,989
BUT, NO.
280
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,498
ALAS, IF FORTUNE DOTH
PERCEIVE, I AM UNDONE.
281
00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:08,329
NO, CYRIL
MUST NOT KNOW.
282
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:11,495
BUT NO, YES, NO...
AH, AH, AH, RESOLVED.
283
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,562
BUT, HARK,
SOMEONE APPROACHING.
284
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,664
TAKE HEED, MY LORD
285
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,174
KEVIN AND BRUCE
ARE HERE.
286
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,718
IT'S SO NICE HERE,
ISN'T IT, DARLING?
287
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,157
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
288
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,526
IT'S... IT'S PARIS
ALL OVER AGAIN.
289
00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:40,054
EXCUSE ME, DO YOU MIND
IF I JOIN YOU?
290
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,695
UH... NO, NO,
NOT AT ALL.
291
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:45,465
ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T MIND?
292
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:46,698
UH, YES, YES,
ABSOLUTELY.
293
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,707
YOU'RE SURE I WON'T
BE DISTURBING YOU?
294
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,106
NO, NO.
295
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:51,905
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY SURE
I WON'T BE DISTURBING YOU?
296
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,206
NO, NO, REALLY.
297
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,179
GOOD, BECAUSE I DON'T
WANT TO DISTURB YOU.
298
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,738
I'M SORRY?
299
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,215
I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB YOU
300
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,683
ESPECIALLY AS
YOU'RE BEING SO KIND
301
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,879
ABOUT ME
NOT DISTURBING YOU.
302
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,148
WE DON'T MIND,
DO WE, DARLING?
303
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:03,155
NO, NO, DARLING.
304
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,156
GOOD, SO I CAN GO AHEAD
305
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,782
AND JOIN YOU THEN,
CAN I?
306
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,123
YES, YES.
YES, PLEASE.
307
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,388
WON'T BE DISTURBING?
308
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,554
NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO.
309
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:11,927
GOOD, GOOD,
YOU'RE VERY KIND.
310
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:13,955
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE
FAR LESS UNDERSTANDING
311
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,559
THAN YOU ARE.
312
00:12:16,602 --> 00:12:18,934
A LOT OF PEOPLE TAKE OFFENSE
WHILE I EVEN TALK TO THEM
313
00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:21,064
LET ALONE WHEN
I SPECIFICALLY TELL THEM
314
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:25,305
ABOUT MY... BEING DISTURBING.
315
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,347
WELL, IT'S NOT
PARTICULARLY DISTURBING.
316
00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:34,284
NO, ABSOLUTELY,
ABSOLUTELY.
317
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,151
THAT'S WHAT
I ALWAYS SAY.
318
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,247
BUT YOU'D BE AMAZED...
319
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,991
YOU'D BE AMAZED
AT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE
320
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,861
WHO REALLY DON'T WANT ME.
321
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:58,268
I MEAN, EVEN DOING THIS
GETS PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME
322
00:12:58,310 --> 00:12:59,607
IN THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY WAY.
323
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,985
VICAR, WE MUST BE GETTING ON.
324
00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:15,994
I KNEW I'D DISTURB YOU,
I KNEW I'D DISTURB YOU.
325
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:17,393
IT ALWAYS HAPPENS.
326
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:18,987
WHENEVER I'VE FOUND SOMEONE
327
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:21,124
I REALLY THINK I'M GOING
TO BE ABLE TO GET ON WITH...
328
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,657
NO, THE THING IS,
WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE...
329
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:24,760
DARLING, COME ON, LET'S STAY.
330
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,465
WELL, JUST
A LITTLE BIT.
331
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,133
I MEAN, WE WILL
BE LATE IF WE DON'T...
332
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,803
OH, THANK YOU,
YOU'RE VERY KIND.
333
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,810
AS IT TURNED OUT
334
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:45,881
OUR CHANCE MEETING WITH
THE REVEREND ARTHUR BELLING
335
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,018
WAS TO CHANGE
OUR WHOLE WAY OF LIFE
336
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,823
AND EVERY SUNDAY
337
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:53,127
WE'D HURRYALONG TO ST. LOONY
UP THE CREAM BUN AND JAM...
338
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:16,710
AND NOW...
339
00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:17,983
IT'S...
340
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:26,430
MONTY PYTHON'S
FLYING CIRCUSESES.
341
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,718
RIGHT, SIR, ONE SAFARI SNOWBALL.
342
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,553
THAT COMES TO £1,361.48
343
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,754
AND WE'LL THROW
THE NUDE MAN IN FOR FREE.
344
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,154
ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN,
LAST ORDERS, PLEASE.
345
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:34,427
OH, DO YOU WANT A DRINK
BEFORE THEY CLOSE?
346
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:35,455
NO, I WANT A KISS.
347
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:36,468
OH, GOODY.
348
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:41,601
AND SO THEY
LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
349
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:42,901
BUT NOW...
350
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:51,808
THE "FREE REPETITION OF DOUBTFUL WORDS
SKIT, SPOOF, JAPE, OR VIGNETTE"
351
00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:54,648
BY A VERY UNDERRATED WRITER.
352
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,615
I HAVE COME
353
00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:00,214
FOR SOME FREE REPETITION
OF DOUBTFUL WORDS
354
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:01,590
ON AN INLAND TELEGRAM.
355
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,118
HAVE YOU THE TELEGRAM
IN QUESTION?
356
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,131
I HAVE THE
VERY THING HERE.
357
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:08,565
WELL, SLIP IT TO ME,
MY GOOD CHAP
358
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,591
AND LET ME EYE
THE CONTENTS.
359
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,969
AT ONCE, MR. TELEGRAM
ENQUIRY MAN.
360
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:16,531
THANK YOU,
MR. CUSTOMER MAN.
361
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,538
HA-HO! "PARLING,
I GLOVE YOU.
362
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:22,911
"CLEASE CLOME
AT BRONCE.
363
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,382
YOUR TROVING
SWIFE, PAT."
364
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:29,319
WHICH WAS THE WORD
YOU WANTED CHECKING?
365
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:30,322
"PAT."
366
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:31,380
"PAT"?
367
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:34,290
MY WIFE'S NAME IS
NOT PAT AT ALL.
368
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,293
NO?
369
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,658
IT'S BAT
WITH A "B."
370
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,593
AND THEREFORE
I WILL TAKE
371
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,461
A QUICK LOOK
IN THE BOOK.
372
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:41,488
RIPPING.
373
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:44,630
YOU'RE QUITE
RIGHT, OLD COCK.
374
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,194
THERE HAS BEEN
A MISTAKE.
375
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:47,500
I THOUGHT AS MUCH.
376
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,234
WHAT REALLY
DOES IT SAY?
377
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:52,641
IT SAY, "GO AWAY, YOU
SILLY LITTLE BLEEDER
378
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,646
"I AM HAVING
ANOTHER MAN.
379
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,647
LOVE, BAT."
380
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,080
QUITE SOME ERROR.
381
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,482
YES, SHE WOULDN'T
CALL HERSELF PAT.
382
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,485
IT'S SILLY.
383
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,781
DAFT, I CALL IT.
384
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:05,085
WELL, IT HAS BEEN A
PLEASURE WORKING WITH YOU.
385
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:07,649
FOR ME, ALSO, IT HAS
BEEN A PLEASURE.
386
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,457
AND THAT CONCLUDES
OUR LITTLE SKIT.
387
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:21,371
THE "FREE REPETITION
OF DOUBTFUL WORDS THING"
388
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:24,865
BYA JUSTLY UNDERRATED WRITER.
389
00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:26,502
THE END.
390
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:05,744
GOOD EVENING,
TONIGHT ON IS THERE?
391
00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:09,617
WE EXAMINE THE QUESTION,
"IS THERE A LIFE AFTER DEATH?"
392
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:13,716
AND HERE TO DISCUSS IT
ARE THREE DEAD PEOPLE...
393
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,755
THE LATE SIR BRIAN HARDAKER
394
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:20,492
FORMER CURATOR
OF THE IMPERIAL WAR MUSEUM
395
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,363
THE LATE PROFESSOR THYNNE
396
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,962
UNTIL RECENTLY AN ACADEMIC
CRITIC AND BROADCASTER
397
00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:28,598
AND PUTTING THE POINT OF VIEW
OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND
398
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,666
THE VERY LATE
PREBENDARY REVEREND ROSS.
399
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:35,009
GENTLEMEN, IS THERE A LIFE
AFTER DEATH OR NOT?
400
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,071
SIR BRIAN?
401
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:45,020
PROFESSOR?
402
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:52,293
PREBENDARY?
403
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,928
WELL, THERE WE HAVE IT...
THREE SAY "NO."
404
00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,097
ON IS THERE? NEXT WEEK,
WE'LL BE DISCUSSING THE QUESTION
405
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,039
"IS THERE ENOUGH OF IT ABOUT?"
406
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,803
UNTIL THEN, GOOD NIGHT.
407
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:21,259
GOOD DOCTOR
MORNING.
408
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:22,817
NICE YEAR FOR
THE TIME OF DAY.
409
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:23,827
COME IN.
410
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,625
CAN I DOWN SIT?
411
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:26,824
CERTAINLY.
412
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,389
WELL, THEN?
413
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:29,627
WELL, I'M NOT GOING
414
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,499
TO BUSH THE DOCTOR
ABOUT THE BEAT TOO LONG.
415
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:33,198
I'M GOING TO COME TO POINT
THE STRAIGHT IMMEDIATELY.
416
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:34,262
GOOD, GOOD.
417
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,273
MY PARTICULAR PROB
418
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:36,774
OR BUGLEM BEAR, I'VE HAD AGES.
419
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:38,537
FOR YEARS,
I'VE HAD IT FOR DONKEYS.
420
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,010
WHAT?
421
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,012
I'M UP TO HERE WITH IT.
422
00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:42,104
I'M SICK TO DEATH.
423
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:43,273
I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANY LONGER
424
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:44,407
SO I'VE COME
TO SEE IT.
425
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:45,848
AH, NOW, THIS IS
YOUR PROBLEM WITH WORDS.
426
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,215
THIS IS MY
PROBLEM WITH WORDS.
427
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:50,847
OH, THAT SEEMS
TO HAVE CLEARED IT.
428
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:54,859
YES, THAT SEEMS
TO BE ALL RIGHT.
429
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,188
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
430
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,093
I SEE, UH, BUT RECENTLY
YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING
431
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,597
THIS PROBLEM
WITH YOUR WORD ORDER.
432
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:00,859
WELL, ABSOLUTELY,
AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE
433
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,331
IS THAT SOMETIMES
AT THE END OF A SENTENCE
434
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,595
I'LL COME OUT
WITH THE WRONG FUSE BOX.
435
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,001
"FUSE BOX"?
436
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,869
AND THE THING ABOUT
SAYING THE WRONG WORD
437
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,372
IS THAT "A," I DON'T NOTICE IT
438
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,137
AND "B," SOMETIMES
ORANGE WATER GIVEN
439
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,473
BUCKET OF PLASTER.
440
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,610
YES, TELL ME MORE
ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.
441
00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:17,171
WELL, AS I SAY,
YOU'D JUST BE TALKING
442
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,615
AND OUT'LL PUDENDA
THE WRONG WORD
443
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:19,639
AND ASHTRAY'S
YOUR UNCLE.
444
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,050
I'M AWFULLY
STRAWBERRY ABOUT IT.
445
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,075
UPSET?
446
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,212
IT'S SO EMBARRASSING
447
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,415
WHEN MY WIFE AND I
GO TO AN ORGY.
448
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:25,423
A PARTY?
449
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,617
NO, AN ORGY.
450
00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:28,285
WE LIVE IN ESHER.
451
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:30,022
QUITE.
452
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,222
THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
453
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,753
IT'S SUCH A BLOODY
WHACK THE DIDDLE-O
454
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,595
FAL-DI-RAL, FA-DI-DA,
LO-DI-DO-DI-DO-FUM-FUM.
455
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,124
MR. BURROWS, THIS IS
NO COMMON PROBLEM.
456
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,729
YOU ARE SUFFERING
FROM A DISEASE SO RARE
457
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:42,069
THAT IT HASN'T GOT
A NAME... NOT YET.
458
00:20:42,107 --> 00:20:43,734
BUT IT WILL
HAVE, OH, YES!
459
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:46,801
THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR...
460
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,710
THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME!
461
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,477
I'LL SHOW THEM AT
THE ROYAL COLLEGE OF SURGEONS.
462
00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:53,609
I'LL MAKE THEM SIT UP
AND TAKE NOTICE.
463
00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,051
THRIPSHAW'S DISEASE!
464
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,715
DISCOVERED BY
E. HENRY THRIPSHAW, M.D.
465
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,783
I'LL BE INVITED ON CALL MY
BLUFF, AND THE MERCHANDISING...
466
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:04,625
THERE'LL BE
E. HENRY THRIPSHAW T-SHIRTS!
467
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,426
I'LL TURN IT INTO A GAME!
468
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,365
I'LL SELL THE FILM RIGHTS!
469
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:53,535
THAT CLIP... COMES FROM THE
NEW DAVID O. SELTZER... FILM.
470
00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:56,069
THE AUTHOR...
471
00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:58,480
OF THAT FILM CLIP...
472
00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:00,485
IS WITH ME...
473
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:02,680
NOW.
474
00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:06,487
DR. E. HENRY...
475
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:09,221
THRIPSHAW.
476
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:14,927
WELL, I FEEL THAT THEY'VE MISSED
THE WHOLE POINT OF MY DISEASE.
477
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:17,264
THIS IS...
478
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:20,635
ALWAYS THE PROBLEM... WITH...
479
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,697
DIRECTORS...
480
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:24,072
OF FILM...
481
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:27,203
CLIPS.
482
00:22:27,245 --> 00:22:28,542
YES, WELL, YOU SEE
483
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:31,014
THEY'VE DRAGGED IN
ALL THIS IRRELEVANT MUSH.
484
00:22:31,049 --> 00:22:33,574
WHAT...
485
00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:37,315
ARE YOU DOING...
486
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,948
NOW?
487
00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:42,153
WELL, AT THE PRESENT MOMENT,
I'M WORKING ON A NEW DISEASE
488
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,321
WHICH I HOPE TO TURN
INTO A MUSICAL...
489
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:49,492
BUT PRIMARILY, WE ARE WORKING
ON A REMAKE OF MY FIRST DISEASE
490
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:52,230
AND THIS TIME WE'RE HOPING
TO DO IT PROPERLY.
491
00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:54,465
WELL...
492
00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:56,701
LET'S JUST...
493
00:22:56,742 --> 00:22:58,403
TAKE A...
494
00:22:58,443 --> 00:23:00,638
LOOK AT THIS NEW...
495
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:02,840
FILM...
496
00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:05,676
CLIP.
497
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:20,195
WELL, NOW, WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE MATTER?
498
00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:26,333
THE NEXT SKETCH FOLLOWS
AFTER SOME SILLY NOISES.
499
00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:49,292
COME IN.
500
00:23:49,327 --> 00:23:50,794
I WONDERED IF
I COULD HAVE
501
00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:52,421
A WORD WITH YOU
FOR A MOMENT.
502
00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:54,261
BY ALL MEANS,
BY ALL MEANS, SIR.
503
00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:55,766
DO SIT DOWN.
504
00:23:55,801 --> 00:23:57,462
UH... SIT ON
THE DESK HERE.
505
00:23:57,502 --> 00:23:58,469
OH, THANK YOU.
506
00:23:58,503 --> 00:23:59,993
NOW THEN,
GLASS OF SHERRY?
507
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:01,005
NO, THANK YOU.
508
00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:02,006
ARE YOU SURE?
509
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,268
I'M GOING TO HAVE SOME.
510
00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:04,798
WELL, IF YOU'RE
HAVING SOME
511
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:06,208
YES, THEN
PERHAPS, VICAR.
512
00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:08,041
OH, THERE'S ONLY
JUST ENOUGH FOR ME.
513
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,047
WELL, IN THAT CASE
514
00:24:10,081 --> 00:24:11,048
I WON'T,
DON'T WORRY.
515
00:24:11,082 --> 00:24:12,310
YOU SEE, IF I SPLIT
WHAT'S LEFT
516
00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,250
WELL, THERE'D HARDLY BE
ANY LEFT FOR ME AT ALL.
517
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,719
WELL, I'M NOT A GREAT
SHERRY DRINKER.
518
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:16,846
GOOD, SO I CAN
HAVE IT ALL.
519
00:24:16,888 --> 00:24:19,049
NOW THEN, WHAT'S
THE PROBLEM?
520
00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:20,557
WELL, JUST
RECENTLY
521
00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:22,685
I'VE BEGUN TO
WORRY ABOUT...
522
00:24:22,727 --> 00:24:23,955
OH!
523
00:24:23,995 --> 00:24:25,292
FOUND ANOTHER BOTTLE.
524
00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,560
YOU CAN HAVE SOME
NOW IF YOU WANT TO.
525
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:29,829
OH, WELL THEN, YES,
PERHAPS A LITTLE.
526
00:24:29,868 --> 00:24:31,802
OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO,
I CAN DRINK THE WHOLE BOTTLE.
527
00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:33,862
UM, IN THAT CASE, NO.
528
00:24:33,905 --> 00:24:35,805
GOOD, THAT'S ANOTHER
BOTTLE FOR ME... RIGHT.
529
00:24:35,841 --> 00:24:37,433
I'VE BEGUN TO WORRY
RECENTLY THAT...
530
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,236
COME IN!
531
00:24:41,713 --> 00:24:42,873
AH, MR. HUSBAND.
532
00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:44,973
THIS IS MR. KIRKHAM,
ONE OF MY PARISHIONERS.
533
00:24:45,016 --> 00:24:46,005
THIS IS MR. HUSBAND
534
00:24:46,051 --> 00:24:47,643
OF THE BRITISH
SHERRY CORPORATION.
535
00:24:47,686 --> 00:24:49,813
LOOK, LOOK, PERHAPS
I BETTER COME BACK LATER.
536
00:24:49,855 --> 00:24:51,015
NO, NO, NO,
DO STAY HERE.
537
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:52,080
HAVE A SHERRY.
538
00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:53,852
YOU WON'T BE LONG,
WILL YOU, HUSBAND?
539
00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:55,325
OH, NO, VICAR,
JUST A QUESTION
540
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:56,418
OF SIGNING
A FEW FORMS.
541
00:24:56,461 --> 00:24:57,428
THERE WE ARE.
542
00:24:57,462 --> 00:24:58,827
THERE WE ARE,
MR. HUSBAND.
543
00:24:58,864 --> 00:25:00,593
NOW, HOW ABOUT
YOU, MR. KIRKHAM?
544
00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:01,929
WELL, ONLY IF
THERE'S ENOUGH.
545
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,332
AH, WELL, THERE'S
NOT MUCH NOW.
546
00:25:03,368 --> 00:25:05,802
OH... IN THAT CASE,
NO, I WON'T.
547
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:06,804
GOOD. RIGHT.
548
00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:07,896
RIGHT, NOW THEN.
549
00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:09,907
WHAT IS THE
PROBLEM, HUSBAND?
550
00:25:09,941 --> 00:25:12,535
WELL, VICAR, I'VE MADE
ENQUIRIES WITH OUR SHIPPERS
551
00:25:12,577 --> 00:25:15,137
AND THE MOST SHERRY
THEY CAN SHIP IN ANY ONE LOAD
552
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:17,011
IS 12,000 GALLONS.
553
00:25:17,048 --> 00:25:19,175
AND HOW MANY GLASSES IS THAT?
554
00:25:19,217 --> 00:25:22,778
THAT'S ROUGHLY
540,000 GLASSES, VICAR.
555
00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:24,413
THAT'S EXCELLENT,
HUSBAND, EXCELLENT.
556
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:26,822
YES, IT MEANS YOU CAN STILL KEEP
YOUR MAIN SHERRY SUPPLY
557
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:28,917
ON THE ROOF, BUT YOU CAN
HAVE AN EMERGENCY SUPPLY
558
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,655
UNDERNEATH THE VESTRY,
OF 5,000 GALLONS.
559
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:32,458
OR I COULD HAVE
DRY SHERRY ON THE ROOF
560
00:25:32,497 --> 00:25:34,362
AND AMONTILLADO
IN THE UNDERGROUND TANK.
561
00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:35,366
ABSOLUTELY.
562
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,367
EXCELLENT
WORK, HUSBAND
563
00:25:36,401 --> 00:25:37,368
EXCELLENT WORK.
564
00:25:37,402 --> 00:25:38,391
NOT AT ALL,
VICAR.
565
00:25:38,436 --> 00:25:39,926
YOU'RE ONE OF
OUR BEST CUSTOMERS...
566
00:25:39,971 --> 00:25:40,995
YOU AND THE
UNITED STATES.
567
00:25:42,107 --> 00:25:43,506
BYE-BYE, TERRIFIC.
568
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:46,010
NOW, THEN, MR. KIRKHAM,
I AM SO SORRY, DO GO ON.
569
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:47,477
WELL, IT'S JUST
THAT RECENTLY
570
00:25:47,512 --> 00:25:48,945
I'VE BEGUN TO
WORRY ABOUT...
571
00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:50,880
WELL, LOOK, DOES
THE BIBLE INTEND...
572
00:25:55,186 --> 00:25:56,153
HEY, HEY, HEY!
573
00:26:08,633 --> 00:26:12,091
ARRIBA! ARRIBA!
574
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:27,885
OLE!
575
00:26:27,919 --> 00:26:28,886
WHAT DID YOU WANT?
576
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,046
DIRTY BOOKS, PLEASE.
577
00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:31,180
RIGHT.
578
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:41,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
579
00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:29,646
E. HENRY THRIPSHAW T-SHIRTS
ARE NOW AVAILABLE
580
00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:30,978
FROM BBC ENTERPRISES.
581
00:27:31,016 --> 00:27:33,280
THE PRICE HASN'T
FINALLY BEEN DECIDED
582
00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:35,013
AND THE ADDRESS TO WRITE TO
583
00:27:35,053 --> 00:27:37,146
THEY HAVEN'T YET
QUITE WORKED OUT.