1 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,562 BOXING TONIGHT COMES FROM THE EMPIRE POOL, WEMBLEY 2 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,437 AND FEATURES THE MAIN HEAVYWEIGHT BOUT 3 00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:12,002 BETWEEN JACK BODELL, BRITISH AND EMPIRE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION 4 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,979 AND SIR KENNETH CLARK. 5 00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:17,712 IT'S THE FIRST TIME THESE TWO HAVE MET 6 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,844 SO THERE SHOULD BE SOME REAL ACTION TONIGHT. 7 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,121 THIS THEN IS THE HEIGHT 8 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:25,647 OF THE ENGLISH RENAISSANCE 9 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,820 THE TRIUMPH OF CLASSICAL OVER GOTHIC... 10 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,261 HE'S DOWN. 11 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:32,457 SIR KENNETH CLARK IS DOWN IN EIGHT SECONDS. 12 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,669 BUT HE'S UP AGAIN, HE'S UP AT SIX. 13 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,468 THE ALMOST ORDERED FACADES OF PALLADIO'S VILLAS REFLECT... 14 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,633 AND HE'S DOWN AGAIN 15 00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:46,167 AND I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO GET UP THIS TIME. 16 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,714 NO, SO JACK BODELL HAS DEFEATED SIR KENNETH CLARK 17 00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:57,154 IN THE VERY FIRST ROUND HERE TONIGHT. 18 00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,318 AND SO THIS BIG LINCOLNSHIRE HEAVYWEIGHT BECOMES 19 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:04,694 THE NEW OXFORD PROFESSOR OF FINE ART. 20 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,358 THANK YOU. 21 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,696 THANK YOU. 22 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,032 THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 23 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,128 AND NOW... 24 00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:15,201 IT'S... 25 00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:24,275 MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUSESES. 26 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll 27 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,620 STAND AND DELIVER! 28 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,426 DROP THAT GUN! 29 00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,797 LET THAT BE A WARNING TO YOU ALL. 30 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:21,807 YOU MOVE AT YOUR PERIL FOR I HAVE TWO PISTOLS HERE. 31 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:24,105 I KNOW ONE OF THEM ISN'T LOADED ANYMORE 32 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,443 BUT THE OTHER ONE IS, SO THAT'S ONE OF YOU DEAD FOR SURE 33 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,947 OR JUST ABOUT FOR SURE ANYWAY. 34 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,176 IT CERTAINLY WOULDN'T BE 35 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,547 WORTH YOUR WHILE RISKING IT 36 00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,017 BECAUSE I'M A VERY GOOD SHOT. 37 00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:34,076 I PRACTICE EVERY DAY. 38 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,781 WELL, NOT ABSOLUTELY EVERY DAY 39 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,289 BUT MOST DAYS IN THE WEEK. 40 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:41,783 I EXPECT I MUST PRACTICE FOUR OR FIVE TIMES A WEEK... 41 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,523 AT LEAST... AT LEAST FOUR OR FIVE 42 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,463 ONLY SOME WEEKENDS, LIKE LAST WEEKEND 43 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,692 THERE WASN'T MUCH TIME 44 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,598 SO THAT BRINGS THE AVERAGE DOWN A BIT. 45 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,329 BUT I SHOULD SAY 46 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,965 IT'S DEFINITELY A SOLID FOUR DAYS' PRACTICE EVERY WEEK 47 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,406 AT LEAST. 48 00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:57,341 I MEAN, I RECKON I COULD HIT THAT TREE OVER THERE... 49 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:58,776 THE ONE BEHIND THE HILLOCK. 50 00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:01,405 NOT THE BIG HILLOCK, THE LITTLE HILLOCK ON THE LEFT. 51 00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:02,812 YOU CAN SEE THE THREE TREES... 52 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,941 THE THIRD FROM THE LEFT 53 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,416 AND BACK A BIT, THAT ONE... 54 00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:10,150 I RECKON I COULD HIT THAT FOUR TIMES OUT OF FIVE... 55 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,623 ON A GOOD DAY. 56 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:15,922 SAY, WITH THIS WIND, SAY... SAY, SEVEN TIMES OUT OF TEN. 57 00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,224 WHAT... THAT TREE THERE? 58 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:17,786 WHICH ONE? 59 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:18,922 THE BIG BEECH 60 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,364 WITH THE SORT OF BARE BRANCH 61 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,731 COMING OUT OF THE TOP LEFT. 62 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,201 NO, NO, NOT THAT ONE. 63 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,170 NO, NO, HE MEANS THE ONE OVER THERE. 64 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,934 LOOK, DO YOU SEE THAT ONE THERE? 65 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:27,997 YES. 66 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,975 WELL, NOW GO TWO ALONG TO THE RIGHT. 67 00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,874 JUST NEAR THAT LITTLE BUSH. 68 00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:34,175 WELL, IT'S THE ONE JUST BEHIND IT. 69 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,841 AH, THE ELM! 70 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,349 THAT'S NOT AN ELM. 71 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,783 AN ELM'S GOT SORT OF GREAT CLUMPS OF LEAVES LIKE THAT. 72 00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:44,483 THAT'S EITHER A BEECH OR A, UM... A, UH... A HORNBEAM. 73 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:45,889 A HORNBEAM? 74 00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:46,949 NO, NOT A HORNBEAM. 75 00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,221 WHAT'S THE TREE THAT HAS 76 00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:50,252 A LEAF WITH SORT OF REGULAR VEINS COMING OUT 77 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,230 AND THE VEINS GO ALL THE WAY OUT TO THE... 78 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:52,788 SERRATED! 79 00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:54,493 TO THE SERRATED EDGES? 80 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:55,523 A WILLOW. 81 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,398 THAT'S RIGHT. 82 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,233 THAT'S NOTHING LIKE A WILLOW. 83 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,136 WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY. 84 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,574 I COULD HIT IT SEVEN TIMES OUT OF TEN... THAT'S THE POINT. 85 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,577 NEVER A WILLOW. 86 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,169 SHUT UP! 87 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:09,204 THIS IS A HOLDUP, NOT A BOTANY LESSON. 88 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:13,879 RIGHT! NOW, MY FINE FRIENDS, NO FALSE MOVES, PLEASE. 89 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,048 I WANT YOU TO HAND OVER ALL THE LUPINS YOU'VE GOT. 90 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,387 LUPINS?! 91 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,858 YES, LUPINS, COME ON, COME ON! 92 00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:22,690 WHAT DO YOU MEAN... LUPINS? 93 00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,788 DON'T TRY AND PLAY FOR TIME. 94 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:25,820 I'M NOT. 95 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:26,957 YOU MEAN THE FLOWER LUPINS? 96 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,228 THAT'S RIGHT. 97 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,394 WELL, WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY LUPINS. 98 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:30,561 HONESTLY. 99 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,865 LOOK, MY FINE FRIENDS 100 00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:35,670 I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT THIS IS THE LUPIN EXPRESS. 101 00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,972 YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR TINY MIND. 102 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,501 GET OUT OF THE COACH. 103 00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:40,807 COME ON, GET OUT! 104 00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,709 JUST AS I THOUGHT. 105 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:50,917 NOT CLEVER ENOUGH, MY FINE FRIENDS. 106 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,447 COME ON, CONCORDE. 107 00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,287 WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE LUPINS. 108 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,612 HERE WE ARE, I'LL BE BACK. 109 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,093 MORNING, MRS. TREPIDATIOUS. 110 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:31,187 OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT IT. 111 00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:33,596 MY RIGHT ARM'S HANGING OFF SOMETHING AWFUL. 112 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,498 OH, YOU WANT TO HAVE THAT SEEN TO. 113 00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,162 WHAT... BY THAT DR. MORRISON? 114 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:40,434 HE'S KILLED MORE PATIENTS THAN I'VE HAD SEVERE BOILS. 115 00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,771 WHAT DO THE STARS SAY? 116 00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:45,309 WELL, PETULA CLARK SAYS BURST THEM EARLY 117 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,006 BUT DAVID FROST... 118 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,638 NO, THE STARS IN THE PAPER 119 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,309 YOU CLOTH-EARED HEAP OF ANTEATER'S CATARRH. 120 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,519 THE ZODIACAL SIGNS, THE HOROSCOPIC FATES 121 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:57,386 THE ASTROLOGICAL PORTENTS 122 00:05:57,423 --> 00:06:00,415 THE OMENS, THE GENETHLIAC PROGNOSTICATIONS 123 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,328 THE MANTALOGICAL HARBINGERS, THE VATICINAL UTTERANCES 124 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,891 THE FRATIDICAL PREMONITORY UTTERANCES OF THE MANTALOGICAL OMENS. 125 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,528 WHAT DO THE BLEEDING STARS IN THE PAPER PREDICT 126 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:13,334 FORECAST, PROPHESY, FORETELL, PROGNOSTICATE... 127 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,967 AND THIS IS WHERE YOU AT HOME CAN JOIN IN. 128 00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:17,532 FOREBODE, BODE, AUGUR, SPELL... 129 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:20,011 FORETOKEN, PRESAGE, PORTEND 130 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,504 FORESHOW, FORESHADOW, FORE-RUN 131 00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:28,179 HERALD, POINT TO, BETOKEN, INDICATE?! 132 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,813 I DON'T KNOW. 133 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,356 WHAT ARE YOU? 134 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,585 I'M NESBITT. 135 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:36,584 THERE'S NOT A ZODIACAL SIGN CALLED NESBITT. 136 00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:39,029 ALL RIGHT, DERRY AND TOMS. 137 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:43,695 "AQUARIUS, SCORPIO, VIRGO, DERRY AND TOMS. 138 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:48,571 APRIL 29 TO MARCH 22, EVEN DATES ONLY." 139 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:49,768 WELL, WHAT DOES IT PRESAGE? 140 00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:52,369 "YOU HAVE GREEN, SCALY SKIN 141 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,243 "AND A SOFT YELLOW UNDERBELLY 142 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,111 "WITH A SERIES OF FINLIKE RIDGES 143 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,049 "RUNNING DOWN YOUR SPINE AND TAIL. 144 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,574 "ALTHOUGH LIZARDLIKE IN SHAPE 145 00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:01,985 "YOU CAN GROW ANYTHING UP TO 30 FEET IN LENGTH 146 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,216 "WITH HUGE TEETH THAT CAN BITE OFF 147 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,724 "GREAT ROCKS AND TREES. 148 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,192 "YOU INHABIT ARID SUBTROPICAL ZONES 149 00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:10,058 AND WEAR SPECTACLES." 150 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,724 HMM, IT'S VERY GOOD ABOUT THE SPECTACLES. 151 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,255 IT'S AMAZING! 152 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,063 HMM, WHAT'S YOURS, IRENE? 153 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,069 BASIL. 154 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,400 I'M SORRY, WHAT'S YOURS, BASIL? 155 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,872 NO, THAT'S MY STAR SIGN... BASIL. 156 00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:22,270 THERE ISN'T A STAR SIGN... 157 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:23,502 YES, THERE IS. 158 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,068 "AQUARIUS, SAGITTARIUS, DERRY AND TOMS 159 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,878 BASIL... JUNE 21 TILL JUNE 22." 160 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,313 WELL, WHAT DOES IT SAY? 161 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,079 "YOU HAVE GREEN, SCALY SKIN 162 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,587 "AND A SERIES OF YELLOW UNDERBELLIES RUNNING DOWN 163 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,054 YOUR SPINE AND TAIL..." 164 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,078 THAT'S EXACTLY THE SAME! 165 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,751 OH! TRY ANOTHER ONE. 166 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,453 WHAT'S AQUARIUS? 167 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:42,859 IT'S A ZODIACAL SIGN. 168 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,590 I KNOW THAT! 169 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:48,088 WHAT'S IT SAY IN THE PAPER, MRS. FLAN-AND-PICKLE? 170 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,294 ALL RIGHT. 171 00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:52,769 OH! IT SAYS, "A WONDERFUL DAY AHEAD. 172 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:56,036 "YOU'LL BE SURROUNDED BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. 173 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,202 "ROGER MOORE WILL DROP IN FOR LUNCH 174 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,178 "BRINGING TONY CURTIS WITH HIM. 175 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:04,047 "IN THE AFTERNOON, A SUBSTANTIAL CASH SUM WILL COME YOUR WAY. 176 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:07,314 "IN THE EVENING, PETULA CLARK WILL VISIT YOUR HOME 177 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,878 "ACCOMPANIED BY THE MIKE SAMMES SINGERS. 178 00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,891 "SHE WILL SING FOR YOU IN YOUR OWN LIVING ROOM. 179 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:15,917 "BEFORE YOU GO TO BED, PETER WYNGARDE WILL COME 180 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,396 AND DECLARE HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR YOU." 181 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,456 EWW! 182 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,524 WHAT'S SCORPIO? 183 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,467 OH, THAT'S VERY GOOD. 184 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:27,234 "YOU WILL HAVE LUNCH WITH A SCHOOL FRIEND OF DUANE EDDY'S 185 00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,797 "WHO WILL INSIST ON WHISTLING 186 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:31,173 "SOME OF DUANE'S GREATEST INSTRUMENTAL HITS. 187 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,871 "IN THE AFTERNOON, YOU WILL DIE. 188 00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,140 YOU WILL BE BURIED..." 189 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,477 GOOD MORNING. 190 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,777 OH, MORNING, DOCTOR. 191 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:39,478 AND HOW'S THE OLD ARM THIS MORNING, MRS. IKON? 192 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,749 OH, IT'S STILL HANGING OFF AT THE SHOULDER. 193 00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:44,950 GOOD, WELL, LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT IT, SHALL WE? 194 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,492 OH, DAMN! 195 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,155 OH, DAMN THIS WRETCHED LITTLE BAG. 196 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,495 OH, DAMN, THIS WRETCHED, BLOODY LITTLE BAG. 197 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,934 IF THERE'S ONE THING I HATE ABOUT BEING A DOCTOR 198 00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:59,631 IT'S THIS WRETCHED, BLOODY LITTLE BAG. 199 00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:03,335 OH, DAMN THIS WRETCHED, BLOODY LITTLE BAG! 200 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,674 DAMN IT! 201 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,111 DAMN THAT WRETCHED LITTLE BAG. 202 00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:10,672 DAMN YOU WRETCHED LITTLE BAG! 203 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,989 THERE, RIGHT. 204 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,751 WHAT'S THAT DOING IN HERE? 205 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:28,398 RIGHT! WELL... 206 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:29,731 HAND OVER THE MONEY. 207 00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,570 COME ON, ALL OF IT. 208 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,240 THANK YOU. 209 00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:47,385 YES, THAT SEEMS TO BE OKAY. 210 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,479 I'LL JUST TEST YOUR REFLEXES. 211 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,620 EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE OKAY. 212 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,025 I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 213 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,927 KEEP COLLECTING THE PENSIONS 214 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,023 AND TRY NOT TO SPEND TOO MUCH ON FOOD. 215 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,293 THANK YOU, DOCTOR. 216 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,494 MORNING, MR. HENSON. 217 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,559 HOW ARE WE TODAY? 218 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,900 NOT TOO BAD, DOCTOR. 219 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,405 OKAY, TAKE IT EASY. 220 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,567 EXPECTING ANY POSTAL ORDERS THIS WEEK? 221 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,576 NO. 222 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,577 RIGHTO. 223 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,976 AH, MR. RODGERS, HAVE YOU GOT 224 00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:14,570 YOUR UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS, PLEASE? 225 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,047 RIGHT... WELL, CAN YOU WRITE ME 226 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,582 A CHECK THEN, PLEASE? 227 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,752 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 228 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:27,247 SOON HAVE YOU DOWN TO NOTHING. 229 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,954 AH, MR. MILLICHOPE. 230 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,531 HMM... TWO HOURS LEFT TO DO. 231 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,921 OOH, LOVELY! 232 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,724 DINNER'S READY, DEAR. 233 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,393 SORRY, YOUR TIME'S UP, MR. SPEWM. 234 00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:17,664 I'M AFRAID YOU LOSE BOTH THE 3p SUITE 235 00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:19,364 AND YOUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER. 236 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,071 HELLO. 237 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,936 SHOULD THERE BE ANOTHER TELEVISION CHANNEL 238 00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:56,566 OR SHOULD THERE NOT? 239 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,804 ON TONIGHT'S PROGRAM, THE MINISTER FOR BROADCASTING 240 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,709 THE RIGHT HONORABLE MR. IAN THROAT M.P. 241 00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:01,678 GOOD EVENING. 242 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,942 THE CHAIRMAN 243 00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:05,450 OF AMALGAMATED MONEY TV, SIR ABE SAPPENHEIM. 244 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:06,416 GOOD EVENING. 245 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,942 THE SHADOW SPOKESMAN 246 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,921 FOR TELEVISION, LORD KINWOODIE. 247 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:10,853 HELLO. 248 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:11,914 AND A TELEVISION CRITIC 249 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:12,946 MR. PATRICK LOONE. 250 00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:13,981 HELLO. 251 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:15,357 GENTLEMEN 252 00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:18,090 SHOULD THERE BE A FOURTH TELEVISION CHANNEL OR NOT? 253 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,427 IAN? 254 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,397 YES. 255 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:21,091 FRANCIS? 256 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:21,599 NOPE. 257 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,123 SIR ABE? 258 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:22,634 YES. 259 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:23,134 PATRICK? 260 00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:23,658 NO. 261 00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:25,067 WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT... 262 00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,765 TWO SAY "WILL," TWO SAY "WON'T." 263 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,866 WE'LL BE BACK AGAIN NEXT WEEK, AND NEXT WEEK'S GREAT DEBATE 264 00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,673 WILL BE ABOUT GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE IN BROADCASTING 265 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:34,804 AND WILL BE CANCELED MYSTERIOUSLY. 266 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,897 JUST STARTING ON BBC 1 NOW, VICTORIA REGINA 267 00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:56,766 THE INSPIRING TALE OF THE SIMPLE CROFTER'S DAUGHTER 268 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,464 WHO WORKED HER WAY UP TO BECOME QUEEN OF ENGLAND 269 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,906 AND EMPRESS OF THE GREATEST EMPIRE TELEVISION HAS EVER SEEN. 270 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:06,639 ON BBC 2 NOW, EPISODE THREE OF GEORGE I 271 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,169 THE NEW 116-PART SERIAL 272 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,978 ABOUT THE FAMOUS ENGLISH KING WHO HASN'T BEEN DONE YET. 273 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,278 ON ITV NOW, THE... 274 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,282 ...BUT ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL. 275 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,494 BUT, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, WHO CARES? 276 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:25,921 AH! 'TIS MY LORD OF BUCKINGHAM. 277 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,296 PRAY WELCOME, YOUR GRACE. 278 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:28,664 THANK YOU, GRANTLEY. 279 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,100 LADIES, MAY I INTRODUCE TO YOU 280 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,625 THE MAN WHO PROPHESIED 281 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:33,831 THAT A GERMAN MONARCH WOULD SOON EMBROIL THIS COUNTRY 282 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:34,999 IN CONTINENTAL AFFAIRS. 283 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,803 OH, HOW SO, MY LORD? 284 00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:39,310 MADAM, YOU WILL RECALL THAT, PRIOR TO HIS ACCESSION 285 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,846 OUR GRACIOUS SOVEREIGN GEORGE HAD BECOME INVOLVED 286 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,508 IN THE LONG-STANDING NORTHERN WAR 287 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,517 THROUGH HIS CLAIM TO BREMEN AND VERDUN. 288 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,041 THESE DUCHIES WOULD PROVIDE 289 00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:48,178 AN OUTLET TO THE SEA 290 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,949 OF THE UTMOST VALUE TO HANOVER. 291 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,320 THE TREATY OF WESTPHALIA 292 00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,949 HAS ASSIGNED THEM TO SWEDEN. 293 00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:53,959 IN 1648. 294 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,187 EXACTLY. 295 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,161 MEANWHILE, FREDERICK WILLIAM OF DENMARK 296 00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,528 TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE ABSENCE OF CHARLES XII 297 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,328 SEIZED THEM... 1712. 298 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,334 OH, YES. 299 00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:03,458 IT ALL FALLS INTO PLACE... MORE WINE? 300 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,764 OH, THANK YOU. 301 00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,794 HOWEVER, JUST PRIOR TO HIS ACCESSION 302 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,329 GEORGE HAD MADE AN ALLIANCE 303 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,238 WITH FREDERICK WILLIAM OF PRUSSIA 304 00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,141 ON THE GROUNDS OF PARTY FEELING. 305 00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:15,078 WHILE FREDERICK WILLIAM HAD MARRIED GEORGE'S ONLY DAUGHTER. 306 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,081 I REMEMBER THE WEDDING. 307 00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:17,309 BUT CHIEFLY, THROUGH CONCERN 308 00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:18,475 AT THE CONCERTED ACTION... 309 00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:23,080 STAND AND DELIVER! 310 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,453 DENNIS MOORE! 311 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,548 THE SAME. 312 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,354 AND NOW, MY LORDS, MY LADIES 313 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,916 YOUR LUPINS, PLEASE. 314 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,724 OUR WHAT? 315 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,062 COME, COME, DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH ME, MY LORD OF BUCKINGHAM. 316 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,259 WHAT CAN YOU MEAN? 317 00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,633 YOUR LIFE OR YOUR LUPINS 318 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:38,762 MY LORD. 319 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:49,239 IN A BUNCH, IN A BUNCH. 320 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,842 THANK YOU, MY FRIENDS. 321 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:56,082 AND NOW A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL. 322 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:03,292 HE SEEKS THEM HERE, HE SEEKS THEM THERE 323 00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,628 HE SEEKS THOSE LUPINS EVERYWHERE. 324 00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,155 THE MURDERING BLACKGUARD! 325 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,792 HE'S TAKEN ALL OUR LUPINS. 326 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:12,133 NOT QUITE. 327 00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:13,638 OH, YOU TRICKED HIM. 328 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,037 WE STILL HAVE ONE. 329 00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:17,508 HOORAY! 330 00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:46,230 TRY TO EAT SOME, MY DEAR. 331 00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:48,705 IT'LL GIVE YOU STRENGTH. 332 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,608 OH, MR. MOORE, MR. MOORE, SHE'S GOING FAST. 333 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:52,735 DON'T WORRY, I'VE... 334 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,302 I'VE BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING. 335 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,438 MEDICINE, AT LAST? 336 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,446 NO. 337 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,311 FOOD? 338 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:57,940 NOPE. 339 00:16:57,983 --> 00:16:59,075 BLANKETS? 340 00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:00,585 CLOTHES, WOOD FOR THE FIRE? 341 00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:01,813 NOPE. 342 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:03,919 LUPINS! 343 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,685 OH, CHRIST! 344 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:06,748 I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THEM. 345 00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,657 I'M SICK TO BLOODY DEATH OF THEM! 346 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,854 SO AM I! 347 00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:10,862 SHE'S BLOODY DYING 348 00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,420 AND ALL YOU BRING US IS LUPINS! 349 00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:15,865 ALL WE'VE EATEN, MATE, FOR THE LAST FOUR BLEEDING WEEKS 350 00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:19,302 IS LUPIN SOUP, ROAST LUPIN, STEAMED LUPIN 351 00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:21,169 BRAISED LUPIN IN LUPIN SAUCE 352 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,766 LUPIN IN THE BASKET WITH SAUTEED LUPINS 353 00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:26,573 LUPIN MERINGUE PIE, LUPIN SORBET. 354 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,274 WE SIT ON LUPINS, WE SLEEP IN LUPINS 355 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:31,214 WE FEED THE CAT ON LUPINS 356 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:35,914 WE BURN LUPINS, WE EVEN WEAR THE BLOODY THINGS! 357 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,114 LOOKS VERY SMART. 358 00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:38,418 OH, SHUT UP! 359 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,982 WE'RE SICK TO DEATH WITH THE STENCH OF THEM! 360 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,457 LOOK! 361 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:48,591 THE CAT'S JUST CHOKED ITSELF TO DEATH ON THEM! 362 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,795 I DON'T CARE IF I NEVER SEE ANOTHER LUPIN 363 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,201 TILL THE DAY I DIE! 364 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,172 WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND STEAL SOMETHING USEFUL? 365 00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,196 LIKE WHAT? 366 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,402 LIKE GOLD AND SILVER AND CLOTHES 367 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,207 AND WOOD AND JEWELS AND... 368 00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,509 HANG ON, I'LL GET A PIECE OF PAPER. 369 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,401 THIS, COUPLED WITH THE PRESENCE 370 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,403 OF PETER AND HIS PRUSSIANS IN MECKLENBURG 371 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,234 AND CHARLES AND HIS SWEDES IN POMERANIA 372 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:30,139 MADE GEORGE AND STANHOPE EAGER TO COME TO TERMS WITH FRANCE. 373 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,733 MEANWHILE, A BREACH HAD NOW OPENED WITH... 374 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,972 OH, NO, NOT AGAIN! 375 00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,036 OH, COME ON! 376 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,377 STAND AND DELIVER AGAIN! 377 00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:40,681 YOUR MONEY, YOUR JEWELRY, YOUR... HANG ON... 378 00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:43,847 YOUR CLOTHES, YOUR SNUFF, YOUR ORNAMENTS 379 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,756 YOUR GLASSWARE, YOUR PUSSY CATS... 380 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,657 DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE LUPIN. 381 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,924 YOUR WATCHES, YOUR LACE, YOUR SPITTOONS... 382 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:06,533 HERE WE ARE. 383 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,586 WELL, IT MAY BE THE END OF THAT 384 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,121 BUT IT'S CERTAINLY FAR FROM THE END OF... 385 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,987 WELL, IN FACT, IT'S THE BEGINNING... 386 00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:20,457 WELL, NOT QUITE THE BEGINNING. 387 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,585 WELL, CERTAINLY NEARER THE BEGINNING THAN THE END... 388 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,959 WELL, YES, DAMN IT, IT IS, TO ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES 389 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,158 THE BEGINNING OF THIS YEAR'S IDEAL LOON EXHIBITION 390 00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:28,791 SPONSORED BY THE DAILY EXPRESS. 391 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,166 NUMBSKULLS AND BOOBIES FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY 392 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:33,763 HAVE BEEN ARRIVING TO GO THROUGH THEIR STRANGE PACES 393 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:35,204 BEFORE A LARGE PAYING CROWD. 394 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,265 THIS IS THE 15th IDEAL LOON EXHIBITION 395 00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:38,936 AND WE TOOK A GOOD LOOK ROUND 396 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:41,912 AFTER IT WAS OPENED BY ITS PATRON. 397 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,946 HERE'S KEVIN BRUCE, THE DIGGER DUFFER FROM DOWN UNDER 398 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:48,350 WHO'S RANKED 14th IN THE WORLD'S SILLY POSITIONS LEAGUE. 399 00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,582 THIS KIND OF INCOHERENT BEHAVIOR 400 00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:53,591 IS REALLY BEGINNING TO CATCH ON DOWN UNDER. 401 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,185 THERE'S NORMAN KIRBY, FROM NEW ZEALAND, WHOSE SPECIALTY 402 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,992 IS STANDING BEHIND A SCREEN WITH A LADY WITH NO CLOTHES ON. 403 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,896 IN REAL LIFE, NORMAN IS A GYNECOLOGIST 404 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,332 BUT THIS IS HIS LUNCH HOUR. 405 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,392 AND FROM FRANCE 406 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,961 THERE'S A SUPERB EXHIBITION OF RATHER SILLY BEHAVIOR 407 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,439 BY THE FRIENDS OF THE FREE FRENCH OSTEOPATHS. 408 00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:13,001 ... TROIS, UN, DEUX, TROIS, UN, DEUX, TROIS 409 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,570 UN, DEUX, TROIS, UN, DEUX, TROIS... 410 00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,139 THEY DO THIS OVER 400 TIMES A DAY. 411 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:19,480 NOBODY KNOWS WHY. 412 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,315 BUT FOR SHEER POINTLESS BEHAVIOR 413 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,253 YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIRE BRIAN BROOMERS 414 00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,654 THE BATTLING BRITISH BOY WHO, FOR TWO WEEKS 415 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:29,125 HAS BEEN SUSPENDED OVER A TIN OF CONDEMNED VEAL. 416 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:30,651 ALWAYS POPULAR WITH THE CROWD 417 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,754 IS THE SCOTSMAN WITH NAE TREWS EXHIBIT 418 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,663 AND THIS YEAR'S NO EXCEPTION. 419 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,863 SPONSORED BY NATURAL GAS AND GLASGOW CITY COUNCIL 420 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,064 THIS EXHIBIT IS ENTIRELY SUPPORTED 421 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:41,936 BY VOLUNTARY CONTRIBUTIONS. 422 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,669 BUT FOR A TRULY MAGNIFICENT WASTE OF TIME 423 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,644 YOU'VE GOT TO GO NO FURTHER THAN THE EXHIBIT FROM ITALY... 424 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:48,009 ITALIAN PRIESTS IN CUSTARD 425 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:49,877 DISCUSSING VITAL MATTERS OF THE DAY. 426 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,076 THESE LADS FROM A SEMINARY NEAR CREMONA 427 00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:54,517 HAVE BEEN PRACTICING FOR WELL OVER A YEAR. 428 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,646 AS ALWAYS, ONE OF THE GREAT ATTRACTIONS 429 00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:58,053 OF THIS 14-DAY EXHIBITION 430 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,921 IS THE DISPLAY OF COUNTER MARCHING 431 00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:02,518 GIVEN BY THE MASSED PIPES AND TOILET REQUISITES 432 00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:06,463 OF THE COLWYN BAY MASSED PIPES AND TOILET REQUISITES CLUB. 433 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:09,228 AN INTERESTING POINT ABOUT THESE BOYS IS 434 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,704 THEY ALL HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON... HIP IN JURIES. 435 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:15,229 NOT FAR AWAY, THE CROWDS ARE FLOCKING TO SEE 436 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,300 A MEMBER OF THE FAMOUS ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED GEESE. 437 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:23,142 BUT THE CLIMAX OF THE WHOLE EVENT IS THE JUDGING. 438 00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:29,714 MR. JUSTICE BURKE. 439 00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,050 WELL, THAT'S THE LAST 440 00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:38,460 AND LET'S JUST SEE THOSE LAST SIX ONCE AGAIN. 441 00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:51,737 AND THE WINNER IS NUMBER 41, MR. JUSTICE BURKE. 442 00:22:11,730 --> 00:22:16,360 ATTENTION, ATTENTION, SUSPECT HEADING DUE NORTH. 443 00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,995 PLAN 13-A IS NOW IN EFFECT. 444 00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:27,071 WHOOP! 445 00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:52,369 YET FEAR, NOT LIKE AN AGED FLORIN 446 00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:54,167 CAN SO DISSEMINATE MEN'S EYES 447 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,697 THAT FORTUNE, STRAINING AT A KISSING TOUCH 448 00:22:56,742 --> 00:22:58,505 MAY STOP HER CEASELESS SEARCH 449 00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:01,068 TO SPORT AMIDST THE RAMPANT THRUST OF TIME 450 00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,978 AND BRING THE THING UNDONE TO PASS 451 00:23:03,014 --> 00:23:05,642 BY THAT WITH WHICH THE COCK MAY CHANCE AN ARM. 452 00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:06,981 WELL, THAT'S ALL VERY WELL, SIR 453 00:23:07,018 --> 00:23:08,383 BUT THIS IS AN OFF-LICENSE. 454 00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:11,283 UH, JUST A BOTTLE OF SHERRY THEN, PLEASE. 455 00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:12,517 CERTAINLY, UM, AMONTILLADO? 456 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:14,457 YES, I THINK AMONTILLADO... 457 00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,290 FINELY GROWN, WELL-CHOSEN 458 00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:18,558 FROM THE CASK OF PLUTO'S HILLS 459 00:23:18,597 --> 00:23:20,827 CELL'D DEEP WITHIN THE VINOUS SOIL OF SPAIN 460 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:23,493 WRENCH'D THENCE FROM FIERY REGIONS OF THE SUN... 461 00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:24,968 YES, YES, SIR, JUST ONE BOTTLE? 462 00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:26,402 JUST ONE BOTTLE. 463 00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:27,564 JUST ONE JOT. 464 00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:28,573 JUST ONE TITTLE. 465 00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:29,574 THAT'S THE LOT. 466 00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:30,575 THERE WE ARE, SIR. 467 00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:31,803 THAT'LL BE A POUND, SIR. 468 00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:32,969 A POUND, A POUND 469 00:23:33,011 --> 00:23:34,638 AND ALL AROUND ABOUND A POUND FOUND FOUND 470 00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:36,374 LOST LOST THE COST TILL WAS'T EMBOSSED... 471 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:37,541 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 472 00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:39,675 YES, GOOD VICTUALLER, NATURE'S TRENCHERMAN 473 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:40,844 MINE HONEST TAPSTER... 474 00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:42,717 I WAS JUST WONDERING, ARE YOU A POET? 475 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:44,847 NO, NO, I'M... I'M A SOLICITOR. 476 00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:46,548 A SOLICITOR... OH. 477 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:48,456 WELL-VERSED WITHIN THE WRITTEN LAW OF MAN 478 00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:49,790 WHO CAN TO THOSE WHO NEED... 479 00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:51,591 OH, SHUT UP! 480 00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:52,597 I'M SORRY. 481 00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:54,963 I'M AFRAID I'VE CAUGHT POETRY. 482 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,092 OH, REALLY? 483 00:23:56,134 --> 00:23:57,226 WELL, DON'T WORRY, SIR 484 00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:59,066 I USED TO SUFFER FROM SHORT STORIES. 485 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,298 REALLY? WHEN? 486 00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:02,101 OH, ONCE UPON A TIME. 487 00:24:04,576 --> 00:24:05,873 THERE LIVED IN WILTSHIRE 488 00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:07,708 A YOUNG CHAP CALLED DENNIS MOORE. 489 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:09,236 NOW, DENNIS WAS A HIGHWAYMAN BY PROFESSION 490 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,407 AND FOR SEVERAL MONTHS 491 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,212 HE'D BEEN STEALING FROM THE RICH 492 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:13,615 TO GIVE TO THE POOR. 493 00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:16,086 ONE DAY... 494 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:20,090 HERE WE ARE AGAIN. 495 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,717 MR. JENKINS? 496 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:24,095 THERE WE ARE. 497 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,120 I'LL BE BACK. 498 00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:28,029 MEANWHILE, FREDERICK WILLIAM, BUSILY ENGAGED 499 00:24:28,066 --> 00:24:29,897 IN DEFENDING AGAINST THE THREE GREAT POWERS 500 00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,060 THE PROVINCE OF SILESIA... 501 00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:32,194 WHICH HE HAD SEIZED 502 00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:33,329 IN THE WAR OF THE AUSTRIAN SUCCESSION 503 00:24:33,371 --> 00:24:34,338 AGAINST HIS WORD. 504 00:24:34,372 --> 00:24:35,430 YES, I REMEMBER. 505 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,499 WAS NOW DEPENDENT ON PITT'S SUBSIDIES. 506 00:24:38,844 --> 00:24:40,709 MY LORDS, MY LADIES, ON YOUR FEET, PLEASE! 507 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,906 I MUST ASK YOU TO DO EXACTLY AS I SAY 508 00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:48,316 OR I SHALL BE FORCED TO SHOOT YOU RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES! 509 00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:51,349 WELL, NOT RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES, I MEAN... 510 00:24:51,389 --> 00:24:52,651 WHEN I SAY "BETWEEN THE EYES" 511 00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:54,386 OBVIOUSLY I DON'T HAVE TO BE THAT ACCURATE. 512 00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:56,860 I MEAN, IF I HIT YOU IN THAT SORT OF AREA, LIKE THAT 513 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,522 OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S ALL RIGHT FOR ME. 514 00:24:58,563 --> 00:24:59,825 I MEAN, I DON'T HAVE TO TRY 515 00:24:59,865 --> 00:25:01,298 AND SORT OF HIT A POINT BISECTING A LINE 516 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,130 DRAWN BETWEEN YOUR PUPILS, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 517 00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:05,432 I MEAN, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, IT'S PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY... 518 00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:06,937 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 519 00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,496 WHY ARE YOU HERE? 520 00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:10,030 WELL, WHY ARE ANY OF US HERE? 521 00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:11,770 I MEAN, WHEN YOU GET DOWN TO IT 522 00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:13,573 IT'S ALL SO MEANINGLESS, ISN'T IT? 523 00:25:13,612 --> 00:25:15,307 I MEAN, WHAT DO ANY OF US WANT? 524 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,474 NO, NO, WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW? 525 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,813 OH, I SEE, OH, JUST THE USUAL THINGS 526 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,147 A LITTLE PLACE OF MY OWN, THE RIGHT GIRL... 527 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:21,311 NO, NO, NO! 528 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,844 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US? 529 00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:28,223 OH, UM... YOUR GOLD, YOUR SILVER, YOUR JEWELRY. 530 00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:29,454 YOU'VE TAKEN IT ALL. 531 00:25:29,494 --> 00:25:31,189 THIS IS ALL WE'VE GOT LEFT. 532 00:25:31,229 --> 00:25:32,856 THAT'S NICE. 533 00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:34,957 I'LL HAVE THEM. 534 00:25:35,066 --> 00:25:36,226 COME ON. 535 00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:38,759 YOU'D BETTER TAKE THE BLOODY LUPIN, TOO. 536 00:25:38,803 --> 00:25:39,792 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 537 00:25:39,838 --> 00:25:41,396 I'VE GONE THROUGH THAT STAGE. 538 00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:55,783 WHAT YOU GOT FOR US TODAY, THEN? 539 00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:57,287 WELL, I'VE MANAGED TO FIND YOU 540 00:25:57,322 --> 00:25:59,984 FOUR VERY NICE SILVER SPOONS, MR. JENKINS. 541 00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:01,457 WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE 542 00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:03,188 GIVING US POOR THIS RUBBISH? 543 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,661 BLOODY SILVER... 544 00:26:04,696 --> 00:26:06,163 WON'T HAVE IT IN THE HOUSE. 545 00:26:06,197 --> 00:26:07,425 AND THOSE CANDLESTICKS 546 00:26:07,465 --> 00:26:08,557 YOU GOT US LAST WEEK 547 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,931 WERE ONLY 16-CARAT. 548 00:26:09,968 --> 00:26:12,095 YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT AND STEAL SOMETHING NICE 549 00:26:12,137 --> 00:26:13,263 LIKE SOME VENETIAN SILVER? 550 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:15,933 OR A VELASQUEZ FOR THE OUTSIDE LOO. 551 00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:19,366 OH, ALL RIGHT. 552 00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:34,750 WHAT DID YOU SING? 553 00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:39,389 WE SANG, "HE STEALS FROM THE POOR AND GIVES TO THE RICH." 554 00:26:40,465 --> 00:26:41,762 WAIT A TIC... 555 00:26:43,368 --> 00:26:45,359 BLIMEY, THIS REDISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH 556 00:26:45,403 --> 00:26:46,927 IS TRICKIER THAN I THOUGHT. 557 00:26:48,873 --> 00:26:51,967 GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF PREJUDICE 558 00:26:52,010 --> 00:26:54,444 THE SHOW THAT GIVES YOU A CHANCE TO HAVE A GO 559 00:26:54,479 --> 00:26:57,642 AT WOPS, KRAUTS, NIGS, EYETIES, GIPPOS, BUBBLES, FROGGIES 560 00:26:57,682 --> 00:27:00,412 CHINKS, YIDDS, JOCKS, POLACKS, PADDIES AND DAGOES. 561 00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:05,346 TONIGHT'S SHOW COMES LIVE 562 00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:08,450 FROM THE TINY VILLAGE OF RABID IN BUCKINGHAMSHIRE. 563 00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:11,860 AND OUR FIRST QUESTION TONIGHT IS FROM A MRS. ELIZABETH SCRINT 564 00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:14,990 WHO SAYS SHE IS GOING ON A MEDITERRANEAN CRUISE NEXT WEEK 565 00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:18,059 AND CAN'T FIND ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE SYRIANS. 566 00:27:18,103 --> 00:27:19,832 WELL, MRS. SCRINT, APART FROM BEING 567 00:27:19,871 --> 00:27:22,066 TOTALLY UNPRINCIPLED, LEFT-WING TROUBLEMAKERS 568 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:23,835 THE SYRIANS ARE ALSO BORN SKIVERS. 569 00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:25,809 THEY'RE DIRTY, SMELLY AND UNTRUSTWORTHY 570 00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:28,642 AND, OF COURSE, THEY'RE FRIENDS OF THE AWFUL GIPPOS. 571 00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:32,079 WELL, THERE YOU ARE, MRS. SCRINT. 572 00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:33,811 HOPE THAT ANSWERS SOME OF YOUR PROBLEMS. 573 00:27:33,852 --> 00:27:35,342 HAVE A NICE TRIP. 574 00:27:35,387 --> 00:27:38,413 WELL, NOW, THE RESULT OF LAST WEEK'S COMPETITION 575 00:27:38,456 --> 00:27:39,753 WHEN WE ASKED YOU 576 00:27:39,791 --> 00:27:42,385 TO FIND A DEROGATORY TERM FOR THE BELGIANS. 577 00:27:42,427 --> 00:27:44,054 WELL, THE RESPONSE WAS ENORMOUS 578 00:27:44,095 --> 00:27:46,928 AND WE TOOK QUITE A LONG TIME SORTING OUT THE WINNERS. 579 00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:48,694 THERE WERE SOME VERY CLEVER ENTRIES. 580 00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:50,200 A MRS. HATRED, OF LEICESTER, SAID 581 00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:53,295 "LET'S NOT CALL THEM ANYTHING, LET'S JUST IGNORE THEM." 582 00:27:56,174 --> 00:27:58,642 AND A MR. ST. JOHN, OF HUNTINGDON, SAID 583 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,670 HE COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING MORE DEROGATORY THAN "BELGIANS." 584 00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:08,349 BUT IN THE END, WE SETTLED ON THREE CHOICES. 585 00:28:08,386 --> 00:28:10,718 NUMBER THREE, "THE SPROUTS" 586 00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:13,849 SENT IN BY MRS. VICIOUS, OF HASTINGS. 587 00:28:13,892 --> 00:28:15,359 VERY NICE. 588 00:28:15,393 --> 00:28:17,293 NUMBER TWO, "THE PHLEGMS" 589 00:28:17,328 --> 00:28:20,058 FROM MRS. CHILDMOLESTER, OF WORTHING. 590 00:28:21,399 --> 00:28:23,026 BUT THE WINNER WAS UNDOUBTEDLY 591 00:28:23,068 --> 00:28:26,060 FROM MRS. NO-SUPPER-FOR-YOU, FROM NORWOOD IN LANCASHIRE 592 00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:28,402 "MISERABLE, FAT BELGIAN BASTARDS." 593 00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:37,413 VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD, THANK YOU, CAROL. 594 00:28:37,449 --> 00:28:39,314 BUT, AS YOU KNOW, ON THIS PROGRAM 595 00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:43,081 WE'RE NOT JUST PREJUDICED AGAINST RACE OR COLOR. 596 00:28:43,121 --> 00:28:45,885 WE'RE ALSO PREJUDICED AGAINST... YES, YOU'VE GUESSED... 597 00:28:45,924 --> 00:28:47,789 STINKING HOMOSEXUALS! 598 00:28:50,428 --> 00:28:53,124 SO BEFORE THE STREETS START EMPTYING IN CHELSEA TONIGHT 599 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:56,133 LET'S GO STRAIGHT OVER TO OUR POPULAR PREJUDICED PANEL GAME 600 00:28:56,167 --> 00:28:59,933 AND INVITE YOU ONCE AGAIN TO "SHOOT THE POOF"! 601 00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:04,800 AND COULD OUR FIRST CONTESTANT SIGN IN, PLEASE? 602 00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:11,978 OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS A HAIRDRESSER FROM... 603 00:29:14,085 --> 00:29:16,883 OOH, I NEVER DID LIKE THAT KIND OF PERSON. 604 00:29:26,097 --> 00:29:27,394 HALT! HALT! 605 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:32,029 GENTLEMEN, LADIES, BRING OUT YOUR VALUABLES, PLEASE. 606 00:29:32,070 --> 00:29:33,037 OH, NO! 607 00:29:33,071 --> 00:29:34,800 COME ALONG, SIR, COME ALONG. 608 00:29:34,839 --> 00:29:36,397 COME ALONG, MADAM. 609 00:29:38,009 --> 00:29:39,237 NOW... 610 00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:41,912 IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT? 611 00:29:41,946 --> 00:29:43,675 YES. 612 00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:45,376 WELL, HE'S GOT MUCH MORE THAN YOU 613 00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:47,077 SO YOU'D BETTER HAVE SOME OF HIS. 614 00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:48,380 HE'S GOT A LOT OF THESE. 615 00:29:48,419 --> 00:29:50,717 OH, SORRY... PICK THEM UP IN A MOMENT. 616 00:29:50,755 --> 00:29:53,383 THERE'S ABOUT, OH, WHAT, NINE DOWN THERE 617 00:29:53,424 --> 00:29:54,652 SO YOU MUST HAVE ABOUT... 618 00:29:54,692 --> 00:29:56,216 OH, HE'S STILL GOT LOTS... 619 00:29:56,294 --> 00:29:57,318 YOU'VE GOT WHAT? 620 00:29:57,362 --> 00:29:59,387 YOU'VE GOT MORE THAN HE STARTED WITH 621 00:29:59,430 --> 00:30:01,455 SO IF I GIVE YOU SOME OF THOSE... 622 00:30:01,499 --> 00:30:04,935 UH, WELL, NOW, LOOK, IF I GIVE YOU THAT, UH... 623 00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:06,493 HAVE YOU GOT A BIT OF JEWELRY? 624 00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:07,971 YES, IF I GIVE YOU THAT ONE 625 00:30:08,006 --> 00:30:12,534 AND YOU HAVE SOME OF HIS COINS... 626 00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:14,169 IS THAT ANOTHER BOX? 627 00:30:14,212 --> 00:30:16,112 WERE YOU TRYING TO HIDE IT? 628 00:30:19,250 --> 00:30:22,242 OOH, THAT'S NICE! 629 00:30:22,287 --> 00:30:23,413 I'LL HAVE THAT. 630 00:30:23,454 --> 00:30:24,421 RIGHT. 631 00:30:24,455 --> 00:30:25,444 NOW, I'VE GOT A TIARA... 632 00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:26,457 YOU'VE GOT ONE, YOU'VE GOT ONE. 633 00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:27,651 YOU'VE GOT ONE OF THE BOXES. 634 00:30:27,692 --> 00:30:28,659 YOU'VE GOT ONE. 635 00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:30,820 ANYONE ELSE GOT A TIARA? 636 00:30:32,730 --> 00:30:34,197 TAKE YOUR HAT OFF. 637 00:30:37,302 --> 00:30:38,269 OH, HONESTLY 638 00:30:38,303 --> 00:30:39,497 IT'S ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS 639 00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:41,630 TRYING TO DO THIS IF YOU'RE GOING TO CHEAT. 640 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:44,141 IT REALLY IS AWFUL OF YOU. 641 00:30:48,479 --> 00:30:50,276 I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD HAVE WON. 642 00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:52,715 I MEAN, JUDICIALLY, YOU SWEPT THE BOARD. 643 00:30:52,750 --> 00:30:54,684 ALL RIGHT, HE HAD POSTURE 644 00:30:54,719 --> 00:30:56,846 BUT WHERE WAS HE IN THE SUMMING UP? 645 00:30:56,888 --> 00:31:00,790 OH, SHUT UP, MELFORD, THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR. 646 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:06,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll