1 00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,232 IT'S JUST THAT EVERYWHERE I GO 2 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:39,704 IT'S THE SAME OLD THING... 3 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,366 ALL ANYONE WANTS ME TO SAY IS 4 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:42,636 "TO BE OR NOT TO BE." 5 00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:44,006 "THAT IS THE QUESTION. 6 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,410 WHETHER 'TIS NOBLER IN THE MIND TO SUFFER..." 7 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,970 IT'S EITHER THAT OR "OH, THAT THIS 8 00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:49,641 TOO, TOO SOLID FLESH WOULD MELT..." 9 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:52,378 "WOULD MELT, THAW AND RESOLVE ITSELF INTO A DEW. 10 00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:54,216 "OR THAT THE EVERLASTING 11 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:57,087 HAD NOT FIXED HIS CANON 'GAINST SELF SLAUGHTER..." 12 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:58,249 YES, ALL THAT SORT OF THING 13 00:00:58,291 --> 00:00:59,656 AND I'M JUST GETTING REALLY FED... 14 00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:01,751 DO THE BIT ABOUT "ALAS POOR YORICK." 15 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:02,887 NO, I'M SICK OF IT! 16 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,521 I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. 17 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,623 I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MY LIFE. 18 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,133 NO, I DON'T KNOW THAT BIT. 19 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,864 I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THAT, BE DIFFERENT. 20 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,702 WELL, UM... WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE? 21 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,103 A PRIVATE DICK! 22 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:17,769 A PRIVATE DICK? 23 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,301 YES, A PRIVATE DICK! 24 00:01:19,345 --> 00:01:20,972 WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A PRIVATE DICK? 25 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,744 WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO BE A PRIVATE DICK? 26 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:26,217 FAME, MONEY, GLAMOUR, EXCITEMENT, SEX. 27 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,344 AH! IT'S THE SEX, IS IT? 28 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,014 WELL, THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS, YES. 29 00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,317 WHAT'S THE SEX PROBLEM? 30 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:31,448 WELL, THERE'S NO PROBLEM. 31 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:32,480 NOW, COME ON, COME ON. 32 00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:33,924 YOU'VE GOT THIS GIRL ON THE BED 33 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,257 AND SHE'S ALL READY FOR IT... 34 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,990 NO, NO, IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 35 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,054 NO, NO, COME ON, COME ON. 36 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,292 THERE SHE IS, SHE'S ALL READY FOR IT 37 00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,959 SHE'S A REAL STUNNER, SHE'S GOT GREAT BIG TITS 38 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,297 SHE'S REALLY WELL STACKED 39 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:43,996 AND YOU'VE GOT HER LEGS UP AGAINST THE MANTELPIECE... 40 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,164 ALL RIGHT, MR. BUTLER, I'LL TAKE OVER. 41 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,504 MORNING, MR. HAMLET, MY NAME'S NATAL. 42 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,031 SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING. 43 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,941 NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? 44 00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:53,605 WELL, I WAS TELLING THE OTHER PSYCHIATRIST... 45 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:55,841 UH, HE'S... HE'S NOT A PSYCHIATRIST. 46 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:57,850 OH, HE SAID HE WAS A PSYCHIATRIST. 47 00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,852 WELL... 48 00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:01,513 YES. 49 00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:03,112 UM... HE IS A KIND OF PSYCHIATRIST 50 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,954 BUT HE'S, UM... HE'S NOT A PROPER PSYCHIATRIST. 51 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:11,453 HE'S NOT, UH... FULLY QUALIFIED IN, UM... 52 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:16,492 QUITE THE SORT OF WAY THAT WE SHOULD WANT. 53 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:18,026 ANYWAY THE PROBLEM, I BELIEVE 54 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,368 IS BASICALLY SEXUAL, IS IT? 55 00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:20,372 I ASKED HIM THAT! 56 00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:21,373 GET OUT! 57 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:23,801 NOW THEN, YOU'VE GOT THE GIRL ON THE BED 58 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:25,037 YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A BIT OF A FEEL-UP 59 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,340 YOU'VE GOT YOUR TONGUE DOWN HER THROAT. 60 00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:27,937 SHE'S GOT BOTH HER LEGS UP ON THE MANTELPIECE... 61 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,039 DR. NATAL! OUT, PLEASE! 62 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,310 I'M TALKING TO A PATIENT! 63 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,215 OUT, PLEASE! 64 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,742 I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, SIR. 65 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:36,311 WE HAVE A LOT OF TROUBLE HERE WITH BOGUS PSYCHIATRISTS... 66 00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,290 ONE OF THE RISKS IN PSYCHIATRY, I'M AFRAID. 67 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,622 UNFORTUNATELY, THEY DO TEND TO FRIGHTEN THE PATIENT 68 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,651 AND THEY CAN CAUSE REAL AND PERMANENT DAMAGE 69 00:02:42,695 --> 00:02:43,662 TO THE TREATMENT. 70 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:45,323 BUT I ASSURE YOU 71 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,664 THAT I AM A COMPLETELY BONA FIDE PSYCHIATRIST. 72 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:49,668 HERE'S MY DIPLOMA IN PSYCHIATRY 73 00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:51,101 FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF OXFORD. 74 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,695 THIS HERE SHOWS THAT I'M A MEMBER 75 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,604 OF THE BRITISH PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION... 76 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,040 A VERY IMPORTANT BODY, INDEED. 77 00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:58,043 HERE'S A LETTER FROM ANOTHER PSYCHIATRIST 78 00:02:58,077 --> 00:03:00,807 IN WHICH HE MENTIONS THAT I'M A PSYCHIATRIST. 79 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,508 THIS IS MY PSYCHIATRIC CLUB TIE 80 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,676 AND, AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CUFFLINKS MATCH. 81 00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:07,185 I'VE GOT A COPY OF PSYCHIATRY TODAY IN MY BAG 82 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,051 WHICH I THINK IS PRETTY CONVINCING 83 00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,749 AND A LETTER HERE FROM MY MOTHER 84 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,224 IN WHICH SHE ASKS HOW THE PSYCHIATRY IS GOING. 85 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,658 AND I THINK YOU'LL REALIZE 86 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:17,356 THE ONE PERSON YOU CAN'T FOOL IS YOUR MOTHER. 87 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,364 SO IF YOU'D LIKE TO ASK ME 88 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:19,524 ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT PSYCHIATRY 89 00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:20,760 I BET I CAN ANSWER THEM. 90 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,358 OKAY, RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT THE GIRL ON THE BED 91 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,233 YOU'VE HAD A FEW DRINKS, YOU'VE GOT HER SWEATER UP 92 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,794 AND SHE'S GOT HER FEET ON THE MANTELPIECE. 93 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,670 YES, WHAT IS IT? 94 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,734 There's a proper psychiatrist to see you, Dr. Rufus Berg. 95 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,143 OH, MY GOD... OKAY, THANK YOU. 96 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,575 RIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH 97 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,519 FOR ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS, SIR. 98 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,613 WE'LL TRY NOT TO TROUBLE YOU AGAIN, SIR. 99 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:48,985 RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT THE GIRL DOWN ON THE BED. 100 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:50,552 YOU'VE GOT HER LEGS UP ON THE MANTELPIECE 101 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,655 AND THEN YOU... 102 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,190 WELL, WELL DONE, MR. HAMLET. 103 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,966 YOU'VE DONE EXTREMELY WELL IN OUR DISORIENTATION TESTS. 104 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,097 OH... OH. 105 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:01,299 YOU SEE, I'M SORRY 106 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,002 IT MIGHT HAVE CONFUSED YOU A LITTLE 107 00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,169 BUT WE DO THIS, YOU SEE, TO TRY AND ESTABLISH 108 00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,577 A VERY GOOD DOCTOR-PATIENT RELATIONSHIP, YOU SEE. 109 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:09,047 WE DO IT TO SORT OF, AS IT WERE 110 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,016 TO BREAK DOWN THE BARRIERS, ALL RIGHT? 111 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,677 YES, FINE. 112 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:13,981 GOOD... WELL, YOU'VE GOT HER LEGS UP 113 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:14,987 ON THE MANTELPIECE 114 00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:16,249 SHE'S REALLY A KNOCKER... 115 00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:18,587 ON BEHALF OF THE PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION 116 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,594 I SHOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT WE ARE TAKING FIRM ACTION 117 00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:24,791 TO CLAMP DOWN ON THE ACTIVITIES OF BOGUS PSYCHIATRISTS. 118 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,299 IN FACT, IN MANY AREAS OF MODERN PSYCHIATRY 119 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,665 COMPUTERS ARE NOW BEING INCREASINGLY USED 120 00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:33,138 FOR THE FIRST BASIC DIAGNOSIS, AND THIS HAS GONE A LONG WAY 121 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:36,369 TOWARDS ELIMINATING THE DANGER OF UNQUALIFIED IMPOSTORS 122 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,400 You've had your tongue down her throat 123 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,809 and she's got her legs... 124 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:40,938 OUT! 125 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll 126 00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:19,445 GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO NATIONWIDE 127 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:23,285 THE PROGRAM WHERE WE DO RATHER WET THINGS NATIONALLY 128 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,348 AND ALSO GIVE YOU A CHANCE 129 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:28,849 TO SEE SOME RATHER WET ITEMS IN THE REGIONS. 130 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:32,331 WELL, EVERYONE IS TALKING TODAY ABOUT THE THIRD WORLD WAR 131 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,094 WHICH BROKE OUT THIS MORNING. 132 00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,725 BUT HERE ON NATIONWIDE 133 00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:38,066 WE'RE GOING TO GET AWAY FROM THAT FOR A BIT 134 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,299 AND LOOK INSTEAD AT THE LATEST THEORY 135 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,332 THAT SITTING DOWN REGULARLY IN A COMFORTABLE CHAIR 136 00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,037 CAN REST YOUR LEGS. 137 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:48,741 IT SOUNDS VERY NICE, DOESN'T IT, BUT CAN IT BE DONE? 138 00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:52,683 IS IT POSSIBLE OR PRACTICAL FOR MANY OF US, IN OUR JOBS 139 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:55,517 AND WITH THE SORT OF BUSY LIVES WE LEAD 140 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:59,389 TO SIT DOWN IN A COMFORTABLE CHAIR JUST WHEN WE WANT? 141 00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:03,555 WE SENT OUR REPORTER, JOHN DULL, TO FIND OUT. 142 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:11,094 WELL, HERE I AM ON LONDON'S BUSY WESTMINSTER BRIDGE 143 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,470 SEEING JUST HOW MUCH TIME SITTING DOWN CAN TAKE. 144 00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,533 WELL, I ARRIVED HERE BY TRAIN AT ABOUT 8:50. 145 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:21,570 IT'S NOW 9:05, SO I'VE BEEN HERE APPROXIMATELY 12 MINUTES. 146 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,639 AND IF IT'S ANY ENCOURAGEMENT 147 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,311 I MUST SAY THAT MY LEGS DO FEEL RESTED. 148 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:28,946 IS THIS YOUR CHAIR? 149 00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:31,582 UH... WELL, NO, IT'S A PROP. 150 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:32,591 IT'S BEEN STOLEN! 151 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:33,785 WHAT? 152 00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:36,454 THIS BELONGS TO A MRS. EDGEWORTH OF PINNER. 153 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:38,293 SHE'S STANDING OVER THERE. 154 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,390 YOO-HOO! 155 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,231 UH, WELL, IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. 156 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,861 I MEAN, IT'S JUST A PROP WHICH THE BBC... 157 00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,702 IT'S GOT HER NAME ON THE BOTTOM. 158 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:55,013 WELL, UH, PERHAPS YOU'D BETTER GIVE IT BACK TO HER. 159 00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:57,311 YOU DON'T BELIEVE I'M A POLICEMAN, DO YOU? 160 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,317 YES, I DO! 161 00:06:58,351 --> 00:06:59,875 WHAT AM I WEARING ON MY HEAD? 162 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:00,817 A HELMET. 163 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:03,014 A POLICEMAN'S HELMET! 164 00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:04,044 YES. 165 00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:05,824 YOU SEE THAT? 166 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:06,847 YES. 167 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,520 THAT LITTLE NUMBER THERE? 168 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:09,789 YES. 169 00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:13,321 THAT IS A METROPOLITAN AREA IDENTIFICATION CODE. 170 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,563 NO HELMET IS AUTHENTIC WITHOUT THAT NUMBER. 171 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,297 I SEE. 172 00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:21,738 KIDS' HELMETS, HELMETS YOU GET AT TOY SHOPS 173 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,106 HELMETS YOU BUY AT CHRISTMAS... 174 00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,441 NONE OF THEM HAS THAT NUMBER. 175 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,947 NONE OF THEM IS AUTHENTIC. 176 00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:29,948 HANG ON. 177 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:30,949 OH, COULD I... 178 00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:31,972 HANG ON! 179 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,712 MIND YOU, I DIDN'T JOIN THE POLICE FORCE 180 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,585 JUST TO WEAR THE HELMET, YOU KNOW. 181 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:11,851 OH. 182 00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:14,621 THAT JUST HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF THE LITTLE PERKS. 183 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,457 THERE ARE PLENTY OF JOBS 184 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,862 WHERE I COULD HAVE WORN A HELMET 185 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,798 BUT NOT SUCH A NICE HELMET. 186 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,198 THIS HELMET, I THINK 187 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,363 BEATS EVEN SOME OF THE MORE ELABORATE HELMETS 188 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:27,497 WORN BY THE TSAR'S PRIVATE ARMY 189 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:31,738 THE SO-CALLED AXI RED WARRIORS. 190 00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:32,903 YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM? 191 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:34,242 WELL, NO, I DON'T. 192 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,441 AH! THEIR HELMETS USED TO LOOK LIKE... 193 00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:37,506 YOU GOT ANY PAPER? 194 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:40,144 WELL, ONLY THESE SCRIPTS. 195 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,175 HOLD ON. 196 00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:48,153 HEY! 197 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,001 I'LL HAVE THAT. 198 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,263 I SAY. 199 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,642 NOW THEN... THEIR HELMET WAS NOT UNLIKE 200 00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:07,976 THE BOBBY'S HELMET IN BASIC SHAPE. 201 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,642 IT HAD AN EMBLEM HERE AND THREE GOLD... 202 00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,083 AND IN THOSE DAYS IT REALLY WAS GOLD. 203 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:16,748 THAT'S PART OF THE REASON WHY THE TSAR WAS SO UNPOPULAR... 204 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:18,689 THREE GOLD BANDS 205 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:22,319 SURMOUNTED BY A GOLDEN EAGLE ON THE APEX HERE. 206 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,192 PRETTY NICE HELMET, EH? 207 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,356 YES. 208 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,389 I THINK THE DOMED HELMET WINS EVERY TIME 209 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,162 OVER THE FLATTENED JOB, YOU KNOW 210 00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:31,169 EVEN WHEN THEY'RE THREE-CORNERED OR... 211 00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:34,297 YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT? 212 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,501 WELL, NO, UH, I MEAN, REALLY... 213 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:37,531 HANG ON. 214 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,603 YOU CAN'T PARK HERE, YOU KNOW. 215 00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,046 WE'RE NOT PARKED. 216 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,049 NOT PARKED! 217 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,050 WHAT'S THAT THEN? 218 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,051 THAT'S OUR LUNCH. 219 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,313 RIGHT. 220 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,844 I'M TAKING THAT IN FOR A FORENSIC EXAMINATION. 221 00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:50,878 WHY? 222 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,322 BECAUSE IT MIGHT 223 00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:55,088 HAVE BEEN USED AS A MURDER WEAPON, THAT'S WHY! 224 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,458 NOW, CLEAR OFF! 225 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:05,804 YEAH, NOT BAD. 226 00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:06,862 COULD BE WORSE. 227 00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:08,740 BEER? 228 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,571 NO, NO, PLEASE! 229 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,044 HONESTLY, PLEASE... 230 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:30,523 NOW THEN, THE CHALDEANS, WHO USED TO INHABIT THE AREA 231 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,225 IN BETWEEN THE TIGRIS AND EUPHRATES RIVERS... 232 00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,733 THEIR HELMETS WAS OF THE MODULAR 233 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,759 RESTRAINED KIND OF TYPE... 234 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,603 OH, ROBERT, TELL ME I'M BEAUTIFUL. 235 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,044 OH, YOU ARE, YOU ARE. 236 00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:48,944 OH, ROBERT, DO YOU MEAN THAT? 237 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,243 OF COURSE I DO. 238 00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:52,011 YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING IT 239 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,575 BECAUSE I ASKED YOU TO? 240 00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:54,984 OF COURSE NOT. 241 00:10:55,021 --> 00:11:00,550 OH, ROBERT, ARE YOU SURE IT DOESN'T PUT YOU OFF? 242 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,117 WHAT? 243 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,561 MY FATHER WANTING TO COME AND LIVE WITH US. 244 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,962 NO, OF COURSE I DON'T MIND 245 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,898 YOUR FATHER COMING TO LIVE WITH US. 246 00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:09,867 HE WOULDN'T JUST BE LIVING WITH US. 247 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:12,871 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 248 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:15,066 WELL, HE FINDS IT VERY DIFFICULT 249 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:16,870 TO GET TO SLEEP ON HIS OWN 250 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:19,036 SO I SAID HE COULD SLEEP WITH US. 251 00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,046 HE WANTS TO PUT HIS BED IN OUR ROOM?! 252 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,377 NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT. 253 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:23,507 OH, GOOD. 254 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,414 OUR BED IS PLENTY BIG ENOUGH FOR THREE. 255 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:26,509 WHAT? 256 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:28,383 HE'D JUST GET INTO BED AND GO TO SLEEP. 257 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,911 NO, I'M NOT HAVING THAT! 258 00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:32,219 OH, ROBERT, I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! 259 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,953 WELL, I DO, BUT... 260 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:35,517 WELL, HE WOULDN'T LOOK. 261 00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:36,789 HE'S BOUND TO PEEK. 262 00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,763 NO, NO, HE WOULDN'T, HONESTLY. 263 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,129 NO! NO! NO! 264 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,225 YOU YOUNG COUPLE JUST CARRY ON. 265 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,792 TAKE NO NOTICE OF ME. 266 00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:49,601 I DON'T WANT TO FEEL 267 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,610 AS THOUGH I'M GETTING IN THE WAY. 268 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,043 OH, NO, DAD, YOU'RE NOT. 269 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,205 NO, NO... 270 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,474 GOOD! 271 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,219 WELL... I THINK I'LL GET TO SLEEP. 272 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:07,054 ARE YOU SURE? 273 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,891 OH, YES, I'M A BIT TIRED AFTER THE WEDDING. 274 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,521 BOB, WHAT ABOUT YOU? 275 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,395 OH, YES, ALL RIGHT, YES. 276 00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:16,196 OH, WELL, I SEEM TO BE O.C. LIGHTS. 277 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,862 GOOD NIGHT, DARLING. 278 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:18,927 GOOD NIGHT. 279 00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:19,938 GOOD NIGHT! 280 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:01,570 FATHER? 281 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,548 FATHER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 282 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:04,913 I'M MAKING A BOAT. 283 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,212 WHAT? 284 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,219 IT'S A CUTTY SARK. 285 00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:08,686 IT'S A MODEL I'VE BEEN MAKING 286 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,279 IN THE DARK FOR SOME YEARS NOW. 287 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:11,550 WELL, WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER 288 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:12,614 WITH THE LIGHT ON? 289 00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,455 NO, NO, I'M MAKING IT IN THE DARK... 290 00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:15,824 THAT'S THE POINT. 291 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:17,453 OH, DEAR... 292 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,260 IT'S NOT AS ACCURATE AS I THOUGHT. 293 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,732 IT'S NOT THE CUTTY SARK! 294 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,997 WELL, IT HASN'T GOT ITS SAILS ON YET. 295 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:25,094 OH, WELL, I'LL... 296 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,502 I'LL HAVE A LOOK AT IT 297 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,530 IN THE DARK ROOM IN THE MORNING. 298 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,235 GOOD NIGHT! 299 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,967 [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 300 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,869 and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS] 301 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,871 WILL YOU SHUT UP IN THERE? 302 00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:11,108 SHUT UP! 303 00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,281 SHUT... THAT'S BETTER. 304 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:21,222 I am myself indifferent honest, but yet, I could accuse me 305 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,160 OF SUCH THINGS THAT IT WERE BETTER 306 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,685 MY MOTHER HAD NOT BORNE ME. 307 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:28,427 O FAIR OPHELIA, NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS 308 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:31,197 BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBERED. 309 00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,330 SO ANYWAY, YOU'VE GOT THE GIRL ON THE BED 310 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,363 AND HER LEGS ARE ON THE MANTELPIECE... 311 00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:36,465 OUT! 312 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,473 WE'RE HIT! JUMP! 313 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,745 GOOD GOD, SIR, LOOK AT THAT. 314 00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,252 QUIET, YOU'LL WAKE HIM. 315 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,652 SORRY, SIR. 316 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,481 LET'S TRY TO REACH THE CITY WALLS 317 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:53,422 BEFORE HE WAKES UP. 318 00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,084 YES, SIR! 319 00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:54,888 SHH! QUIET. 320 00:14:54,927 --> 00:14:56,224 RIGHT, SORRY, SIR. 321 00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,431 SORRY, SIR. 322 00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,489 TOO LATE! 323 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,337 WE'RE SAVED! 324 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:10,608 THAT WAS A GREAT FIGHT, CHAMP 325 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,905 A GREAT FIGHT, YOU HEAR? 326 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,411 OH, BOY, WHAT A FIGHT, CHAMP! 327 00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:14,673 WHAT A GREAT FIGHT! 328 00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:17,181 YOU NEARLY HAD HIM, CHAMP, YOU NEARLY HAD HIM... 329 00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:18,205 WHERE'S HIS HEAD? 330 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,946 I GOT IT IN HERE, MR. GABRIELLO. 331 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,715 YOU WERE GREAT, CHAMP, DO YOU HEAR? 332 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,722 YOU WERE GREAT! 333 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,383 HE GOT A NASTY CUT OVER HIS EYE. 334 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:26,948 YEAH, I THINK IT WAS A MISTAKE 335 00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,118 HIM WEARING SPECTACLES. 336 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,025 OH, WELL, GET THAT SEWN ONTO HIS BODY 337 00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:31,654 IN TIME FOR THE PRESS PICTURES! 338 00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:32,664 OKAY, MR. GABRIELLO. 339 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,097 AH, WASN'T HE GREAT, MY BOY? 340 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,532 HE WAS GREAT, MR. GABRIELLO. 341 00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:36,932 THE WAY HE KEPT ON FIGHTING 342 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,334 AFTER HIS HEAD CAME OFF. 343 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,964 HE WAS BETTER WHEN THE HEAD CAME OFF, MR. GABRIELLO. 344 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,530 HE WAS REALLY DODGING THE GUY. 345 00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:44,371 YEAH, I RECKON IF HE COULD'VE LASTED 346 00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,037 TILL THE END OF THAT FIRST MINUTE 347 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,841 HE WOULD'VE HAD THE KILLER WORRIED. 348 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,904 SURE, MR. GABRIELLO. 349 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:49,915 OH, HE WAS GREAT! 350 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,177 DID YOU SEE HIS LEFT ARM? 351 00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,183 NO. 352 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:53,775 OKAY, WE'LL LOOK AROUND THE HALL 353 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:54,911 AFTER EVERYONE'S GONE. 354 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,387 DO YOU REALIZE, MR. GABRIELLO 355 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,787 SOME OF THOSE GUYS OUT THERE 356 00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,654 PAID OVER $2,000 FOR A RINGSIDE SEAT? 357 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,182 AND WHERE DOES THE HEAD LAND? 358 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:03,057 RIGHT AT THE BACK... THAT'S JUSTICE. 359 00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:04,585 OH, BOY. 360 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:05,619 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 361 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,188 THIS YOUR BOY'S HEAD? 362 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:09,029 NO, NO, WE GOT HIS HEAD! 363 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,797 HE AIN'T HURT THAT BAD. 364 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,565 HEY, THAT'S JERRY MARINELLO. 365 00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:14,572 HE FOUGHT THE KILLER LAST WEEK. 366 00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:15,800 OKAY, GIVE IT TO ME. 367 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,365 I'M SEEING HIS TRAINER TOMORROW. 368 00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:18,398 I'LL GIVE IT TO HIM. 369 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,504 HEY, MR. GABRIELLO, THE PRESS IS STILL OUTSIDE. 370 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:23,537 YOU READY FOR THEM? 371 00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:24,549 HOW'S THE CHAMP? 372 00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:25,777 WELL, THE HEAD'S ON OKAY 373 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,786 BUT THERE'S STILL A LEFT ARM MISSING. 374 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,583 OKAY, WELL, KEEP THE DRESSING GOWN 375 00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:30,645 KIND OF LOOSE, OKAY? 376 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,919 OKAY, BOYS, COME ON IN! 377 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,789 MR. GABRIELLO! 378 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,590 DID YOU EXPECT YOUR BOY TO LAST 379 00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:37,822 THE FULL 28 SECONDS? 380 00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:39,387 THIS BOY HAS NEVER LET ME DOWN. 381 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:41,899 HE'S THE PLUCKIEST GODDAMN FIGHTER I EVER TRAINED. 382 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,027 WERE YOU WORRIED WHEN HIS HEAD STARTED TO COME LOOSE? 383 00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,331 NO, NO, WE WAS EXPECTING THAT. 384 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:46,861 I TOLD HIM TO EXPECT IT AND HE DID. 385 00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:48,031 HE AIN'T STUPID. 386 00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,631 HEY, CAN WE HAVE A WORD WITH THE CHAMP? 387 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,870 YEAH, OKAY, BUT KEEP THE QUESTIONS SIMPLE. 388 00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:53,400 HEY, CHAMP, HOW YOU FEELING? 389 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,003 I SAID KEEP THE QUESTIONS SIMPLE! 390 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,036 MR. GABRIELLO 391 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:57,048 PEOPLE ARE SAYING 392 00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,379 THE KID OUGHT TO BE BURIED. 393 00:16:58,417 --> 00:16:59,384 HIS HEAD'S COME OFF 394 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:00,510 IN THE LAST SIX FIGHTS. 395 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,453 THERE'S NO QUESTION OF BURYING THE KID! 396 00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:03,455 HE'S JUST REACHING THE TOP. 397 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:04,581 WELL, SHOULDN'T HE JUST STAY 398 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:05,681 IN THE HOSPITAL? 399 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:07,089 NO, HE AIN'T GOING TO NO HOSPITAL. 400 00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,993 HE'S GOT THE RETURN FIGHT NEXT WEEK. 401 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,055 And there's Frank Sinatra leaving the ring. 402 00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:15,726 Behind him is George Raft, another great boxing fan 403 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,895 Martin Bormann, acknowledging the applause 404 00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:19,927 and with him, of course, is Gus Himmler 405 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,497 who did an awful lot for the sport in his country 406 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,667 in the early 1940s. 407 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,267 And here comes the champ now. 408 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:28,302 He really seems in good shape to meet the killer once again 409 00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:29,678 before an audience... 410 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,081 some of whom have paid $920,000 million 411 00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:34,881 for the privilege of seeing this boy get beaten up. 412 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,080 And there's the bell. 413 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:40,150 QUIET! 414 00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,489 ...and a left and a right jab 415 00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:43,051 that's taken half the champ's shoulder off. 416 00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:45,325 And here's the killer again with a right and another left 417 00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,127 and a bash with a hammer and a terrific smack 418 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,690 with a heavy thud right into the skull 419 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,202 and there's a gaping hole right through the champ's body now. 420 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,863 And now the killer's working on the cut eye 421 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,135 with a series of beautifully placed punches 422 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,664 and the head's coming loose! 423 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,835 The champ must try and keep his head on. 424 00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,174 The killer's kicked him in the groin 425 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:01,679 and he's bitten half his left buttock off 426 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:03,613 and the referee's stepped in with a warning there. 427 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,344 What a plucky fighter this champ is. 428 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,477 He's fighting as well as I've ever seen him. 429 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:10,386 He must be losing blood at the rate of a pint a second now. 430 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,389 It's everywhere. 431 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,357 Certainly those who paid $1.5 million 432 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:14,689 for those ringside seats 433 00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:16,819 are really getting their money's worth. 434 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,329 They're covered in it. 435 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:19,660 And his head's off! 436 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,595 ...in so many fights is off in the 31st second. 437 00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:27,434 It's rolled away down to the left. 438 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,906 But what's happening? 439 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,000 The killer's being talked to by the referee. 440 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:32,806 There's the champ's plucky little body 441 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,336 racing around the ring, trying to find his opponent. 442 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,143 And the killer has been disqualified! 443 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:42,780 This great fighter, who has killed more than 50 people 444 00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:46,416 in his boxing career, has at last been defeated 445 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:49,359 by this courageous, headless little southpaw from New York. 446 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:52,329 And there's a great roar here as the referee raises the arm 447 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:54,229 of the new World Heavyweight Champion. 448 00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:56,996 What a pity the rest of his body wasn't here to see it. 449 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,628 Well, here in London 450 00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:03,163 it's 12:30 and time for The Robinsons 451 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:06,700 an everyday story of blah-di- blah-di-blah-di-blah. 452 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:11,416 and so on. 453 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,111 Morning, Mrs. Robinson. 454 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,053 Morning, Mrs. Non-Robinson. 455 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:16,918 Been shopping? 456 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:18,422 No... I've been shopping. 457 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:19,617 What'd you buy? 458 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:20,625 A piston engine. 459 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,819 What did you buy that for? 460 00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,454 BLOODY RUBBISH! 461 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,361 I WANTED TO LISTEN TO THAT. 462 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:29,829 MORNING, MRS. GORILLA. 463 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:31,836 MORNING, MRS. NON-GORILLA. 464 00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:32,996 HAVE YOU BEEN SHOPPING? 465 00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,336 NO... BEEN SHOPPING. 466 00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,342 DID YOU BUY ANYTHING? 467 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,934 A PISTON ENGINE. 468 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:41,673 WHAT DID YOU BUY THAT FOR? 469 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:44,011 OOH! IT WAS A BARGAIN. 470 00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,038 OOH! 471 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:47,876 TWEET, TWEET, TWEET. 472 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,047 COME ON, LITTLE BIRDIES, COME ON. 473 00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:51,419 NICE LITTLE BIRDIES. 474 00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,986 COME ON, LITTLE BIRDIES. 475 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,121 COME ON, LITTLE BIRDIES. 476 00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,394 COME AND SEE WHAT MOMMY'S GOT FOR YOU. 477 00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,732 COME ON, LITTLE BIRDIES. 478 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,863 TWEETY, TWEETY, COME ON, TWEETY, TWEETY. 479 00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:08,805 OOH, LOOK AT THIS, TWEETY, TWEETY. 480 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,865 NICE ONE, COME ON, COME ON. 481 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,377 TWEET, TWEET. 482 00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:20,340 COME ON, LITTLE BIRDIES, TWEET, TWEET. 483 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,512 OH. HELLO, MRS. SMOKER. 484 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,715 HELLO, MRS. NON-SMOKER. 485 00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:27,088 WHAT, YOU BEEN SHOPPING, THEN? 486 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,786 NO, I'VE BEEN SHOPPING. 487 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,419 OH, WHAT DID YOU BUY? 488 00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:31,724 A PISTON ENGINE. 489 00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:33,788 WHAT DID YOU BUY THAT FOR? 490 00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:34,958 IT WAS A BARGAIN! 491 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,865 HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR IT? 492 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:37,869 THREE QUID. 493 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:38,870 DONE. 494 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,838 RIGHT. 495 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:41,839 THANK YOU. 496 00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,135 HOW DO YOU COOK IT? 497 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,472 YOU DON'T COOK IT. 498 00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:46,101 YOU CAN'T EAT THAT RAW! 499 00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:48,112 OOH, NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. 500 00:20:48,146 --> 00:20:51,809 OH, DAY AND NIGHT, BUT THIS IS WONDROUS STRANGE. 501 00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:54,785 AND THEREFORE IS A STRANGER WELCOME IT. 502 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:58,551 THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO 503 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,354 THAN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY. 504 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,987 BUT COME, THE TIME IS OUT OF JOINT. 505 00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:08,125 O CURSED SPITE, THAT EVER I WAS BORN TO SET IT RIGHT. 506 00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:09,565 LET'S GO TOGETHER. 507 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:20,073 HELLO, AND WELCOME TO A ROOM IN POLONIUS'S HOUSE. 508 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,103 WELL, TONIGHT IS EUROPEAN CUP NIGHT. 509 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:24,047 ONE RESULT IN ALREADY FROM MUNICH. 510 00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:26,550 THE EUROPEAN CUP, FIRST ROUND, SECOND LEG 511 00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:31,386 BAYERN MUNCHEN 4,397; WREXHAM 1. 512 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:34,256 SO WREXHAM GOING THROUGH THERE ON AGGREGATE. 513 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,760 WELL, NOW IT'S TIME FOR RACING 514 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:38,456 SO LET'S GO STRAIGHT OVER TO EPSOM AND BRIAN McNULTY. 515 00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:40,727 WELL, OVER HERE AT EPSOM, THERE ARE CHANCES APLENTY 516 00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:42,734 FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO MAKE A GOOD START IN... 517 00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:43,735 DENTISTRY. 518 00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:44,736 DENTISTRY. 519 00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:45,794 IT'S A WELL-OFF SUBURB 520 00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:47,395 SO MOST PEOPLE HAVE THEIR OWN TEETH 521 00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:48,497 AND SURGERIES ARE OPENING 522 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:50,201 AT THE RATE OF FOUR OR FIVE A WEEK. 523 00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:53,575 WELL, IT'S ONLY 44 MINUTES FROM THE WEST END ON THE TRAIN 524 00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,979 AND IT'S NOT TOO BUILT UP, SO YOU CAN HAVE A NICE GARDEN. 525 00:21:57,015 --> 00:22:00,314 AND THE PEOPLE OF EPSOM ARE A VERY NICE CLASS OF PERSON. 526 00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:01,944 WELL, HERE IN HIGH STREET, EPSOM 527 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:05,013 THERE ARE AMPLE OPPORTUNITIES FOR ALL KINDS OF REDEVELOPMENT. 528 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,752 AS YOU CAN SEE, BEHIND ME NOW 529 00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:09,920 THERE ARE A HIGH LEVEL OF LOW-DENSITY CONSUMER UNITS 530 00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:12,191 STILL NOT FULLY MAXIMIZING SITE VALUE. 531 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:14,130 THIS COULD BE RADICALLY IMPROVED 532 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,794 BY A CAREFULLY PLANNED PROGRAM OF DEMOLITION 533 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,963 AND OF COURSE, MOST OF THE OCCUPANTS ARE ELDERLY FOLKS 534 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:22,371 SO THEY WOULDN'T PUT UP MUCH OF A FIGHT. 535 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:23,772 GOOD AFTERNOON. 536 00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:25,743 WELL, IN FACT, THERE'S STILL A FEW MINUTES TO GO 537 00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:28,007 BEFORE THE MAIN RACE ON THE CARD THIS AFTERNOON 538 00:22:28,046 --> 00:22:29,536 THE QUEEN VICTORIA HANDICAP. 539 00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:32,482 SO LET'S HAVE A QUICK WORD WITH THE WINNER OF THE LAST RACE 540 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:34,883 ONE OF THE SEASON'S TOP JOCKEYS, RONNIE MAU-MAU. 541 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,080 GOOD AFTERNOON, RONNIE. 542 00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:37,213 GOOD AFTERNOON, BRIAN. 543 00:22:37,255 --> 00:22:38,813 A VERY FINE RIDE THERE, RONNIE. 544 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:39,949 WELL, A FINE HORSE, BRIAN 545 00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:41,288 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T GO WRONG. 546 00:22:41,326 --> 00:22:43,191 DO YOU FANCY YOUR CHANCES FOR THE DERBY? 547 00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:44,195 OH, VERY DEFINITELY. 548 00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:45,355 VERY DEFINITELY, INDEED. 549 00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:46,364 CERTAINLY, BRIAN. 550 00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:47,365 WELL, LET'S JUST SEE 551 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:48,957 IF A COLLEAGUE OF YOURS AGREES WITH THAT. 552 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,126 LET'S JUST HAVE A QUICK WORD 553 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:51,533 WITH DESMOND WILLET... AFTERNOON, DES. 554 00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:52,468 GOOD AFTERNOON, BRIAN. 555 00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:53,664 NO CHANCE, NO CHANCE AT ALL. 556 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,366 NO, NO, I THINK YOU'RE WRONG THERE, DES. 557 00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:56,931 I THINK WITH THE RIGHT KIND OF GOING 558 00:22:56,975 --> 00:22:57,873 HE'S GOING TO BE IN THERE 559 00:22:57,909 --> 00:22:58,876 AT THE FINISH, DES. 560 00:22:58,910 --> 00:23:00,537 NO CHANCE, THERE'S NO CHANCE. 561 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,978 WELL, IN FACT, I CAN SEE 562 00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:04,447 LAST SEASON'S TOP JOCKEY, JOHNNY KNOWLES. 563 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:05,848 GOOD AFTERNOON, JOHNNY. 564 00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,374 HELLO, BRIAN. 565 00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:09,979 UH, COULD WE HAVE A BOX FOR JOHNNY, PLEASE? 566 00:23:10,021 --> 00:23:10,988 THANK YOU. 567 00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:12,216 HELLO, BRIAN, THANK YOU. 568 00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:13,224 THAT'S BETTER. 569 00:23:13,258 --> 00:23:14,657 WELL, THERE YOU ARE... 570 00:23:14,693 --> 00:23:17,287 THREE VERY WELL-KNOWN FACES FROM THE RACING WORLD. 571 00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:20,230 THANKS VERY MUCH FOR COMING ALONG THIS AFTERNOON, LADS. 572 00:23:20,265 --> 00:23:21,254 NOT AT ALL. 573 00:23:21,299 --> 00:23:22,823 AND BEST WISHES FOR THE DERBY. 574 00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:24,165 THANK YOU, BRIAN. 575 00:23:24,202 --> 00:23:25,464 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 576 00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:27,870 WELL, IN FACT, I HEAR THEY'RE READY FOR US NOW 577 00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:30,272 AT THE START OF THE MAIN RACE THIS AFTERNOON 578 00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:33,072 SO LET'S GO RIGHT AWAY AND JOIN PETER AT THE START. 579 00:23:33,111 --> 00:23:34,738 WELL, THEY'RE UNDER STARTER'S ORDERS 580 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:36,748 FOR THIS VERY VALUABLE QUEEN VICTORIA HANDICAP. 581 00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:37,806 AND THEY'RE OFF. 582 00:23:39,451 --> 00:23:41,612 AND QUEEN VICTORIA... A GOOD CLEAN JUMP OFF 583 00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:42,984 FOLLOWED BY QUEEN VICTORIA 584 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,716 QUEEN VICTORIA AND QUEEN VICTORIA. 585 00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,417 IT'S QUEEN VICTORIA FROM QUEEN VICTORIA 586 00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:48,653 WITH QUEEN VICTORIA MAKING THE EARLY RUNNING ON THE INSIDE. 587 00:23:48,693 --> 00:23:50,285 AND AT THE BACK, QUEEN VICTORIA 588 00:23:50,328 --> 00:23:52,091 ALREADY A COUPLE OF LENGTHS BEHIND THE LEADERS. 589 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,223 QUEEN VICTORIA NOW MOVED UP TO CHALLENGE QUEEN VICTORIA 590 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:55,460 WITH QUEEN VICTORIA LOSING GROUND. 591 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:56,797 QUEEN VICTORIA TUCKED IN NEATLY 592 00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:58,200 ON THE STAND SIDE WITH A CLEAR VIEW. 593 00:23:58,236 --> 00:23:59,498 QUEEN VICTORIA STILL THE BACK MARKER 594 00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:00,766 AS THEY APPROACH THE HALFWAY MARK 595 00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,637 BUT MAKING GROUND NOW AND STARTING TO PASS QUEEN VICTORIA 596 00:24:02,674 --> 00:24:03,641 WITH QUEEN VICTORIA 597 00:24:03,675 --> 00:24:05,506 QUEEN VICTORIA AND QUEEN VICTORIA STILL WELL PLACED 598 00:24:05,544 --> 00:24:06,875 AS THEY APPROACH THE FIRST FENCE. 599 00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:08,243 AND AT THE FIRST FENCE, IT'S QUEEN VICTORIA 600 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,508 JUST AHEAD OF QUEEN VICTORIA 601 00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:11,641 WITH QUEEN VICTORIA FALLING AWAY IN THIRD PLACE. 602 00:24:11,683 --> 00:24:13,150 AND QUEEN VICTORIA IN THE REAR... 603 00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,346 WELL, A VERY EXCITING RACE THERE AT EPSOM. 604 00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:17,719 AND NOW OVER TO THE EUROPEAN CUP AT BARCELONA 605 00:24:17,756 --> 00:24:19,246 WHERE THE LATEST NEWS IS 606 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:22,454 THAT MIGUEL OTANA, THE BURLY REAL MADRID STRIKER WAS SENT OFF 607 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:24,428 FOR BREAKING WIND IN THE 43rd MINUTE. 608 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:25,987 HE'D ALREADY BEEN CAUTIONED 609 00:24:26,031 --> 00:24:29,262 FOR PURSING HIS LIPS EARLIER ON IN THE GAME AND NOW HE'S OFF. 610 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,531 SO LET'S SEE A PLAYBACK OF THAT... BRIAN. 611 00:24:31,570 --> 00:24:36,906 YES, UH, WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, THERE'S OTANA NOW. 612 00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:42,107 UH, HE GETS THE, UH, THE THROUGH BALL FROM GOMEZ 613 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,480 AND, UH, HE MAKES NO ATTEMPT TO PLAY THE BALL. 614 00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:47,781 HE QUITE DELIBERATELY LETS OFF. 615 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:50,481 AND TO MY MIND, HE WAS WITHIN THE BOX 616 00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:54,982 AND THE REFEREE HAD NO OPTION WHATSOEVER BUT TO SEND HIM OFF. 617 00:24:55,026 --> 00:24:55,685 JIMMY? 618 00:24:55,727 --> 00:24:56,557 GOOD EVENING. 619 00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:57,857 WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THAT? 620 00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,693 WELL, THE REFEREES REALLY ARE 621 00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:01,198 CLAMPING DOWN THESE DAYS. 622 00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:04,168 ONLY LAST WEEK, THE BELGIAN CAPTAIN WAS SENT OFF 623 00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:06,636 FOR HAVING A SONY RADIO CASSETTE PLAYER. 624 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:10,573 AND GONERELLI, THAT HUGE ITALIAN DEFENDER, WAS SENT OFF IN TURIN 625 00:25:10,609 --> 00:25:13,908 FOR HAVING HIS SITTING AND DINING ROOM KNOCKED THROUGH 626 00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:15,776 TO FORM AN OPEN LIVING AREA. 627 00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:16,280 HAMLET? 628 00:25:16,314 --> 00:25:17,144 GOOD EVENING. 629 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,672 YOU'VE GOT THE GIRL ON THE BED. 630 00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:20,048 HER LEGS ARE UP ON THE MANTELPIECE... 631 00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:21,177 COME ON, GO ON, OUT. 632 00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:31,153 WAIT, I'M GETTIN' OUT OF HERE. 633 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:34,632 I GOT AWAY. 634 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,134 MISSED. 635 00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:39,136 MISSED, MISSED AGAIN. 636 00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:41,160 UGH! 637 00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:42,537 OOH, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, WAIT! 638 00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:54,551 LET FOUR CAPTAINS BEAR HAMLET 639 00:25:54,586 --> 00:25:56,451 LIKE A SOLDIER TO THE STAGE 640 00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:58,979 FOR HE WAS LIKELY, HAD HE BEEN PUT ON 641 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:00,855 TO HAVE PROVED MOST ROYALLY... 642 00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:10,385 AND THEN... 643 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:16,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll