1 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:32,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll 2 00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:40,805 LET'S BRING THEM OUT! 3 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:45,567 ANY OLD IRON! 4 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:51,311 ANY OLD IRON! 5 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,246 THANK YOU. 6 00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:58,519 ANY OLD IRON! 7 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,082 THANK YOU. 8 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:03,095 ANY OLD IRON! 9 00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:41,959 WE ARE HERE TODAY TO WITNESS THE OPENING OF A NEW BOX 10 00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:44,367 TO REPLACE THE BOX WHICH USED TO STAND 11 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:47,805 ON THE CORNER OF ULVERSTON ROAD AND SANDWOOD CRESCENT. 12 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,002 OWING TO A PROGRAM OF ROAD WIDENING 13 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,568 BEING CARRIED OUT BY THE BOROUGH COUNCIL 14 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,775 THE ULVERSTON ROAD BOX WAS REMOVED 15 00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,545 LEAVING THE WALL BOX IN ESHER ROAD 16 00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:03,386 AS THE ONLY BOX FOR THE PEOPLE OF THE ULVERSTON ROAD AREA. 17 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,516 THIS NEW BOX WILL ENABLE 18 00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:08,527 THE PEOPLE OF THE ULVERSTON ROAD AREA 19 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:12,429 TO POST LETTERS, POSTCARDS AND SMALL PACKAGES 20 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:15,730 WITHOUT RECOURSE TO THE ESHER ROAD BOX 21 00:02:15,768 --> 00:02:19,363 OR TO THE BOX OUTSIDE THE POST OFFICE AT TURNER'S PARADE 22 00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,270 WHICH MANY PEOPLE USED TO USE 23 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,468 BUT WHICH HAS NOW BEEN DISCONTINUED 24 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,535 OWING TO THE OPENING OF THIS BOX 25 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:29,139 AND ALSO TO THE REORGANIZATION OF BOX DISTRIBUTION 26 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,207 THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE AREA 27 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,709 WHICH COMES INTO FORCE WITH THE OPENING OF THE NEW BOXES 28 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,621 AT THE WYATT ROAD POST OFFICE IN JULY. 29 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,990 NOUS SOMMES ICI CE MATIN... 30 00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:47,160 ... POUR REMPLACER LA BOITE QUI AUTREFOIS ETAIT PLACEE 31 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,964 AU COIN D'ULVERSTON ROAD ET SANDWOOD CRESCENT. 32 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,029 PARCE QUE DU PROJET POUR L'ELARGISSEMENT DE LA RUE 33 00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:55,438 QUI FAIT PAR LE BOROUGH COUNCIL 34 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,966 LA BOITE D'ULVERSTON ROAD EST REMPLACEE 35 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,741 ET LA BOITE DE MUR DANS ESHER ROAD 36 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:04,876 EST LA SEULE BOITE POUR LES PEUPLES D'ULVERSTON ROAD. 37 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,351 CETTE BOITE NOUVELLE 38 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,911 RENDRA CAPABLE LES HOMMES D'ULVERSTON ROAD 39 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:12,186 DE METTRE DANS LA POSTE LES LETTRES, LES CARTE-POSTALES 40 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,455 ET DES PETIT PAQUETS SANS A VOIR BESOIN 41 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,519 DE LA BOITE DE MUR DANS ESHER ROAD 42 00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,555 OU LES BOITES DE LA TURNER'S PARADE BUREAU DE POSTE 43 00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,829 QUI BEAUCOUP DES HOMMES ONT FAIT USAGE 44 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,200 MAIS QUE EST MAINTENANT DISCONTINUEE... 45 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,296 A PERFECTLY ORDINARY MORNING 46 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,807 IN A PERFECTLY ORDINARY ENGLISH SUBURB. 47 00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:31,241 LIFE GOES ON AS IT HAS DONE FOR YEARS. 48 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:35,270 BUT SOON THIS QUIET PATTERN OF LIFE WAS TO CHANGE IRREVOCABLY. 49 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,783 ... EN WYATT ROAD LE JUILLET. 50 00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:41,016 WIR SIND HEUTE MORGEN... 51 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,891 THE COMMONPLACE ROUTINE OF A TYPICAL MONDAY MORNING 52 00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:53,091 WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN 53 00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:57,296 FOR INTO THIS QUIET LITTLE COMMUNITY CAME... MR. NEUTRON. 54 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,305 MR. NEUTRON... 55 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:02,001 THE MOST DANGEROUS AND TERRIFYING MAN IN THE WORLD 56 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,009 A MAN WITH THE STRENGTH OF AN ARMY 57 00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:06,238 THE WISDOM OF ALL THE SCHOLARS IN HISTORY 58 00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:09,908 THE MAN WHO HAD THE POWER TO DESTROY THE WORLD. 59 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:15,182 NO ONE KNOWS WHAT STRANGE AND DISTANT PLANET HE CAME FROM 60 00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:17,086 OR WHERE HE WAS GOING TO. 61 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:18,556 WHEREVER HE WENT 62 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,321 TERROR AND DESTRUCTION WERE SURE TO FOLLOW. 63 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,454 MR. NEUTRON, THE MAN WHOSE INCREDIBLE POWER 64 00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,623 HAS MADE HIM THE MOST FEARED MAN OF ALL TIME 65 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,532 WAITS FOR HIS MOMENT TO DESTROY THIS LITTLE WORLD UTTERLY. 66 00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,433 THEN THERE'S STANLEY, HE'S OUR ELDEST. 67 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:31,801 HE'S A BIOCHEMIST IN SUTTON. 68 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,362 HE'S MARRIED TO SHIRLEY. 69 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:36,000 SHIRLEY WHO USED TO BE THE HAIRDRESSER? 70 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,100 YES, THAT'S RIGHT. 71 00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:38,542 I THINK SHE'S A LOVELY PERSON. 72 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:39,977 MIND YOU, MY HUSBAND DOESN'T. 73 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,504 HE THINKS SHE'S A BIT, UH, THINKS SHE'S A BIT FLASH. 74 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:43,515 I HATE HER. 75 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,538 I HATE HER GUTS. 76 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,211 OF COURSE, THEY COME DOWN ON MOST WEEKENDS 77 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,514 SO YOU'LL BE ABLE TO MEET THEM THEN. 78 00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,043 I'D LOVE TO. 79 00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:51,147 HAIRDRESSING IS VERY INTERESTING. 80 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,589 OH, YES, AND VERY IMPORTANT, TOO. 81 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,752 IF YOU DON'T CARE FOR YOUR SCALP, YOU GET RABIES. 82 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,523 THEN THERE'S KENNETH, HE'S OUR YOUNGEST. 83 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:58,086 MIND YOU, HE'S A BIT OF A PROBLEM... 84 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,031 AT LEAST MY HUSBAND THINKS HE IS, ANYWAY. 85 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,590 NASTY LITTLE PIECE OF WORK, HE IS. 86 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:02,601 I HATE HIM. 87 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,193 MIND YOU, THE ONE WE DON'T HEAR 88 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,670 MUCH ABOUT NOWADAYS IS KAREN. 89 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,696 SHE MARRIED A CANADIAN; HE'S A DENTIST. 90 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:08,832 THEY LIVE IN ALBERTA. 91 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,739 GARY WHO'S THREE, LESLIE WHO'S SIX. 92 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:14,246 LESLIE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY THE SPITTING IMAGE OF KAREN. 93 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,645 DO YOU WANT TO SEE A PHOTO? 94 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:16,649 OH, YES, PLEASE. 95 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,707 ALL RIGHT. 96 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,581 THEY'RE A COUPLE OF LITTLE BASTARDS. 97 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:20,677 I HATE THEM. 98 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,244 THEY GOT EYES LIKE LITTLE PIGS 99 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,687 JUST LIKE THEIR MOTHER. 100 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:24,849 SHE'S A DISASTER... 101 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,359 A REALLY HORRIBLE-LOOKING PERSON, SHE IS. 102 00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,918 I THOUGHT THAT ONE WOULD STAY ON THE SHELF 103 00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:32,362 BUT ALONG COMES THIS STUPID DENTIST GIT. 104 00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,889 HE'S A REAL CREEPY LITTLE BASTARD, HE IS. 105 00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,231 I HATE HIM. 106 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,362 THIS IS A NICE AREA. 107 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,871 IT'S LIKE A BLOODY GRAVEYARD. 108 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:40,930 I HATE IT. 109 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,565 IT'S HANDY FOR THE SHOPS 110 00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:44,701 AND CONVENIENT FOR THE WEST END. 111 00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:46,974 IF YOU LIKE GOING TO THE WEST END. 112 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,913 I THINK IT'S A STINKING DUMP. 113 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:52,281 MEANWHILE IN WASHINGTON, AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF "FEAR" 114 00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:54,218 THE FEDERAL EGG ANSWERING ROOM 115 00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:56,483 IN REALITY A FRONT NAME FOR "FEEBLE" 116 00:05:56,522 --> 00:06:00,822 THE FREE WORLD EXTRA-EARTHLY BODIES LOCATION AND EXTERMINATION CENTER 117 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,226 ALL WAS NOT WELL. 118 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,230 GOOD GOD! GET ME THE SUPREME COMMANDER 119 00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,996 OF LAND, SEA AND AIR FORCES... IMMEDIATELY! 120 00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,001 HELLO. 121 00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:45,526 This is Captain Carpenter, sir, from FEAR. 122 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,595 YOU MEAN FEEBLE? 123 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:47,503 Yes, sir. 124 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,973 WHAT IS IT? 125 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:50,805 Mr. Neutron is missing, sir. 126 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:54,279 MR. NEUTRON?! OH, MY GOD! 127 00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:56,110 OKAY, SURROUND THE ENTIRE CITY. 128 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,481 SEND IN FOUR WAVES OF ARMED PARATROOPERS 129 00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:00,816 WITH FULL GROUND-TO-AIR MISSILE SUPPORT. 130 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:03,117 ALERT ALL AIR BASES, DESTROY ALL ROADS! 131 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,522 WE'LL BOMB THE TOWN FLAT IF WE HAVE TO! 132 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,458 Sir, he's not in Washington, sir. 133 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:10,519 OKAY, OKAY, HOLD EVERYTHING, HOLD EVERYTHING! 134 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,555 HOLD IT, HOLD IT! LAY OFF, LAY OFF, LAY OFF. 135 00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:16,292 WHERE IS HE? 136 00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:17,563 We don't know, sir. 137 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,833 All we know is he checked out of his hotel 138 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:21,499 and took a bus to the airport. 139 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:26,274 ALL RIGHT... I WANT A FULL-SCALE RED ALERT THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. 140 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,645 SURROUND EVERYONE WITH EVERYTHING WE GOT. 141 00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:31,843 MOBILIZE EVERY FIGHTING UNIT 142 00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:35,012 AND EVERY WEAPON WE CAN LAY OUR HANDS ON! 143 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:39,286 I WANT... I WANT THREE FULL-SCALE GLOBAL NUCLEAR ALERTS 144 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:43,261 WITH EVERY ARMY, NAVY AND AIR FORCE UNIT ON ETERNAL STANDBY! 145 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,263 Right, sir! 146 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,288 AND INTRODUCE CONSCRIPTION! 147 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,299 Yes, sir! 148 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,028 RIGHT! 149 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,445 SO THE WORLD WAS IN THE GRIP OF FEAR; 150 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,149 A HUGE AND TERRIFYING CRISIS GENERATED BY ONE MAN 151 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:13,454 EASILY THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN... 152 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,120 HONESTLY. 153 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,562 THOUGH STILL BIDING HIS TIME, HE COULD STRIKE AT ANY MOMENT. 154 00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,190 COULD HE BE STOPPED IN TIME? 155 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,724 GOT A BIT OF WORK TO DO THERE, THEN. 156 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,963 YES, IT IS A PROBLEM. 157 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,165 MRS. OTTERSHAW NEVER USED TO BOTHER... 158 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,606 THEN, OF COURSE, SHE WAS VERY OLD; SHE WAS 2O6. 159 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:30,768 WELL, MUST BE GOING. 160 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,040 IF YOU NEED A HAND, I'LL SEND FRANK ROUND. 161 00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,910 HE COULD DO WITH A BIT OF EXERCISE. 162 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,349 FAT OLD BASTARD. 163 00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,717 YES. 164 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,320 Captain Carpenter here, sir. 165 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,992 We've been on red alert now for three days, sir 166 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,864 and still no sign of Mr. Neutron. 167 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,233 HAVE WE BOMBED ANYWHERE? 168 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,033 HAVE WE SHOWN 'EM WE GOT TEETH? 169 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:02,040 Oh, yes, sir, we've bombed a lot of places flat, sir. 170 00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:05,202 GOOD, GOOD, WE DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK WE'RE CHICKEN. 171 00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,178 Oh, no, they don't think that, sir. 172 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,204 Everyone's really scared of us, sir. 173 00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,215 OF US? 174 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,147 Yes, sir! 175 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,946 OF OUR... POWER? 176 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:15,112 Oh, yes, sir! They're really scared 177 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:17,679 when they see those big planes come over. 178 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,088 WOW! I BET THEY ARE. 179 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,150 I BET THEY ARE. 180 00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:22,820 I BET THEY'RE REALLY SCARED. 181 00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,625 Oh, they are, sir. 182 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:27,292 DO WE HAVE ANY FIGURES ON HOW SCARED THEY ARE? 183 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:31,201 Uh, no... no figures, sir, but they sure were scared. 184 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,728 AH! BUT IT'S NOT WORKING? 185 00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:34,740 No, sir. 186 00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,901 OKAY, WE'LL TRY ANOTHER TACTIC. 187 00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:39,639 WE'LL TRY AND OUTSMART THIS NEUTRON GUY. 188 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,477 YEAH, THERE'S ONE MAN I KNOW WHO COULD NAIL HIM. 189 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,040 One guy?! That won't frighten anyone, sir. 190 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,018 HE'S THE MOST BRILLIANT MAN I EVER MET. 191 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,611 WE WERE IN THE C.I.A. TOGETHER. 192 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:49,985 HE'S RETIRED NOW. 193 00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:51,819 HE BREEDS RABBITS UP IN THE YUKON. 194 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,051 What's his name, sir? 195 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,923 HIS NAME IS TEDDY SALAD. 196 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,223 "Salad" as in... 197 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,787 LETTUCES, CUCUMBER, RADISHES... YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 198 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,389 Where do I find him, sir? 199 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,764 THE YUKON. 200 00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,561 OH, AND CARPENTER... 201 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,834 Yes, sir? 202 00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:10,068 MAKE SURE YOU GET A DECENT DISGUISE. 203 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:37,969 OH, UH, HELLO, MY NAME'S CARPENTER. 204 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,631 I'M FROM THE U.S. GOVERNMENT. 205 00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,105 ARE YOU FROM THE ARMY? 206 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:44,735 NO, NO, NO, NO... I'M, UH... I'M FROM THE BALLET. 207 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,802 THE U.S. GOVERNMENT BALLET. 208 00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,177 THE BALLET! 209 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,772 THE BALLET'S COMING HERE? 210 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,749 UH... WELL, MAYBE. 211 00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,911 OH, THAT'S GREAT! WE LOVE THE BALLET. 212 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:56,183 LAST YEAR SOME OF US FROM YELLOW RIVER 213 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,419 WE GOT UP A PARTY TO GO AND SEE THE BALLET IN MONTREAL. 214 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,289 LOOK, I... I WAS WONDERING... 215 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,158 OH, WE HAD A MARVELOUS TIME. 216 00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:04,560 IT WAS MARGOT FONTEYN 217 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,155 DANCING LES SYLPHIDES. 218 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:07,597 OH, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 219 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:08,600 LOOK, DO YOU KNOW... 220 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:10,158 DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD SHE IS? 221 00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:10,896 WHO? 222 00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:11,903 MARGOT FONTEYN. 223 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:12,631 NO. 224 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,196 SHE'S 2O6. 225 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,502 OH... 226 00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:16,633 WELL, LOOK, I HEAR 227 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,270 THERE'S A U.S. BALLET ORGANIZER AROUND THESE PARTS 228 00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:20,778 BY THE NAME OF TEDDY SALAD. 229 00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:23,077 YOU MEAN THE SPECIAL AGENT? 230 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:24,104 WELL... UH... 231 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,310 HE'S AN EX-CIA MAN; 232 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,978 HE'S NOT A BALLET DANCER. 233 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:32,253 OH, UH, WELL, I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM ON SOME BALLET BUSINESS. 234 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:34,555 OH, WELL, YOU COULD TRY THE STORE. 235 00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,390 OH, THANK YOU. 236 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,421 HEY! COULD YOU GET US LIONEL BLAIR'S AUTOGRAPH? 237 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,597 WHILE PRECIOUS TIME WAS BEING LOST IN CANADA 238 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:48,164 THE SECONDS WERE TICKING AWAY FOR THE FREE WORLD. 239 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,471 ALREADY NEUTRON, WHO, YOU WILL REMEMBER 240 00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:53,569 IS INFINITELY THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN THE WORLD... 241 00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:56,308 HE REALLY IS... WAS GATHERING ALLIES TOGETHER. 242 00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:59,613 TRY HAVING AN OMELET FOR YOUR EVENING MEAL 243 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,450 PERHAPS WITH YOGURT AND GRAPEFRUIT. 244 00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,115 OH, I'VE TRIED THAT. 245 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:08,024 I ONCE GOT DOWN TO 56 STONE BUT I COULDN'T STAY LIKE THAT. 246 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,620 I HAD TO TAKE POTATOES WHEREVER I WENT. 247 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:14,599 I USED TO GO TO THE CINEMA WITH 300-WEIGHT OF KING EDWARDS. 248 00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:17,830 I'D EAT THEM ALL BEFORE I GOT OUT OF THE TOILET. 249 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,135 I HAD TO GO ON TO BREAD. 250 00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:22,640 WHAT ABOUT SALAD? 251 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:23,733 TEDDY SALAD? 252 00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,073 NO, NO, NO... 253 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,545 SALAD AS IN LETTUCES, RADISHES, CUCUMBER. 254 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,672 YOU DON'T LIKE IT? 255 00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:30,511 NO, I DIDN'T WANT TO EAT A SALAD. 256 00:12:30,549 --> 00:12:31,607 I WANTED TO FIND OUT 257 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,083 ABOUT A MAN CALLED SALAD. 258 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,347 YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON 259 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,286 TO ORDER A SALAD HERE FOR TWO YEARS. 260 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,018 ALL THE ESKIMOS EAT HERE IS FISH, FISH, FISH! 261 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:40,286 WE ARE NOT ESKIMOS. 262 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:41,486 WHERE'S OUR FISH? 263 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,119 WE'VE FINISHED OUR FISH. 264 00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,356 WHAT FISH YOU WANT TODAY, HUH? 265 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,192 BREAM. 266 00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:46,459 BREAM?! 267 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,763 WHERE DO I GET BREAM THIS TIME OF YEAR? 268 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,701 YOU BLOODY CHOOSY ESKIMO PESTS! 269 00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,533 WE ARE NOT ESKIMOS. 270 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,903 WHY DON'T YOU LIKE A NICE PLATE OF CANNELLONI? 271 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,669 YECH! THAT'S NOT FISH. 272 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,542 OH, I'VE HAD MY LOT OF THE ARCTIC CIRCLE. 273 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,603 I WISH I WAS BACK IN OLDHAM. 274 00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:06,277 DO ANY OF YOU ESKIMOS 275 00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:08,343 SPEAK ENGLISH? 276 00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:10,514 WE ARE NOT ESKIMOS. 277 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:11,523 I AM. 278 00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:13,115 HADDOCK! 279 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,592 WHERE? WHERE? 280 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:18,757 DO ANY OF YOU KNOW A MAN CALLED SALAD? 281 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,231 WHAT, SALAD AS IN... 282 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,359 LETTUCE, CUCUMBERS, TOMATOES... YEAH. 283 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:23,527 LIKE YOU HAVE ON YOUR PLATE? 284 00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:24,536 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 285 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,594 NO, I'M AFRAID NOT. 286 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,662 WHERE'S OUR FISH? 287 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:28,935 WHAT DOES THIS TEDDY SALAD DO? 288 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:32,068 OH, UH... HE'S A... HE'S A HEN TEASER. 289 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,678 CHE COSA? E LA STUCCIACATORI DI POLLI! 290 00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:39,445 NO, THE ONLY TEDDY SALAD WE KNOW IS A C.I.A. MAN. 291 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,851 OH, UH, HE MIGHT KNOW. 292 00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:45,515 WHERE WILL I FIND HIM? 293 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,116 OH, HE LIVES UP AT KIPPER SOUND. 294 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:47,921 THANKS A LOT. 295 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,121 FISHY FISHY AYE-OO! 296 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,131 UM, ARE YOU IN INTERNATIONAL SPYING, TOO? 297 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,030 UH... NO, NO, NO, NO. 298 00:13:55,067 --> 00:14:00,437 I'M, UH... I'M WITH THE, UH, THE, UH, THE U.S. BALLET FORCE. 299 00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:01,598 WHO ARE YOU WITH? 300 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,834 Ml6. 301 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,706 BUT NOT A WORD TO THE ESKIMOS. 302 00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:06,506 FISHY FISHY AYE-OO! 303 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,376 HERE'S YOUR BLOODY FISH. 304 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:09,972 THANK YOU, ANOUK. 305 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,676 I'M NOT AN ESKIMO! 306 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,152 HEY! 307 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,492 HEY! 308 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,691 HEY! 309 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,034 HI, I'M CARPENTER OF THE U.S. BALLET. 310 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,661 HEY, GREAT TO HAVE YOU AROUND. 311 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,070 THE LAST DECENT BALLET WE GOT AROUND HERE 312 00:14:34,106 --> 00:14:35,232 WAS BALLET RAMBERT. 313 00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:37,071 ON THURSDAY THEY DID PETROUCHKA 314 00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:39,543 THEN ON SATURDAY THEY DID FILLE MAL GARDEE. 315 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,569 I THOUGHT IT WAS A BIT SLOW BUT... 316 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,980 IT SURE IS NICE TO SEE YOU, MR. SALAD. 317 00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:45,449 I AIN'T SALAD. 318 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,451 WHAT? 319 00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:47,509 YOU WANT TEDDY SALAD? 320 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,520 YEAH. 321 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,283 I DON'T SEE ANYONE. 322 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:55,088 THE ONE ON THE END, ON THE RIGHT. 323 00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:56,321 THAT'S SALAD. 324 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:57,954 THAT'S A DOG. 325 00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:00,261 NO, ONLY BITS OF IT. 326 00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:01,527 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 327 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,761 LISTEN, TEDDY SALAD 328 00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:04,530 IS THE MOST BRILLIANT AGENT 329 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,128 THE C.I.A. EVER HAD, ALL RIGHT? 330 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:07,229 RIGHT. 331 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:11,107 THAT'S HOW HE MADE HIS NAME... DISGUISE! 332 00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:12,508 THAT'S INCREDIBLE! 333 00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:13,977 YEAH, HE HAD TO SLIM DOWN 334 00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,311 TO 1½ POUNDS TO GET INTO THAT COSTUME. 335 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:17,975 HE CUT 18 INCHES OFF EACH ARM 336 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,951 AND OVER THREE FEET OFF EACH LEG. 337 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:23,751 THE MOST BRILLIANT SURGEON IN EUROPE STUCK THAT TAIL ON. 338 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,450 WHAT ABOUT THE HEAD? 339 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,186 ALL OF THE HEAD WAS REMOVED 340 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:29,319 APART FROM THE EYES AND THE BRAIN 341 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:31,454 IN ORDER TO FIT INTO THE COSTUME. 342 00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,488 THAT'S INCREDIBLE! 343 00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:34,760 DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM? 344 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,994 YEAH, SURE. 345 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,435 LET'S MOVE OVER TO THOSE TREES OVER THERE. 346 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,370 ANYONE MIGHT BE WATCHING. 347 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,738 MR. SALAD 348 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,471 THERE'S A MR. CARPENTER TO SEE YOU. 349 00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,240 WHAT DOES HE SAY? 350 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,712 DO YOU HAVE A BONE? 351 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,847 HERE, IT'S ALL PART OF THE DISGUISE. 352 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,878 OKAY, TEDDY, HERE'S THE BONE. 353 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,685 ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT HIS TRUST NOW. 354 00:15:58,724 --> 00:15:59,748 YOU CAN TALK TO HIM. 355 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,589 SIR... 356 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,154 SIR... MR. SALAD 357 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,529 SIR, I'VE COME DIRECT 358 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:08,555 FROM THE COMMANDER 359 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,828 OF LAND, SEA AND AIR FORCES. 360 00:16:09,868 --> 00:16:13,565 THERE'S A PRETTY DANGEROUS SITUATION, SIR. 361 00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:17,063 MR. NEUTRON IS MISSING. 362 00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:18,872 THE GENERAL SAYS YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE 363 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,401 WHO'LL KNOW WHERE TO FIND HIM. 364 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,207 WHAT'S HE SAY? 365 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:25,045 UH, HE WANTS TO GO WALKIES. 366 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,312 WALKIES? 367 00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,683 YEAH, HE'S RIGHT INTO IT TODAY. 368 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,210 DO YOU MIND TAKING HIM FOR WALKIES? 369 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,812 WHILE CARPENTER TOOK 370 00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:33,916 THE MOST BRILLIANT AGENT THE C.I.A. EVER HAD FOR WALKIES 371 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:36,928 EVENTS IN THE WORLD'S CAPITALS WERE MOVING FAST. 372 00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:57,680 The Secretary of State to see you, Prime Minister. 373 00:16:57,716 --> 00:16:59,274 VERY WELL, SHOW HIM IN. 374 00:16:59,318 --> 00:17:00,285 PRIME MINISTER. 375 00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:02,082 OH, DO TAKE A SEAT. 376 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,317 OH! 377 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,557 WE'VE JUST HAD THE SUPREME COMMANDER, U.S. FORCES 378 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:09,788 ON THE PHONE. 379 00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:11,762 APPARENTLY, THEY WANT A FULL-SCALE RED ALERT. 380 00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:12,786 THEY WHAT? 381 00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:14,389 THEY WANT A FULL-SCALE RED ALERT. 382 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:15,627 EVERY TROOP MOVEMENT... 383 00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:17,802 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 384 00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:19,064 DON'T WORRY ABOUT GIUSEPPE. 385 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,071 HE'S ENGLISH, REALLY. 386 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,402 I SEE... WELL, APPARENTLY 387 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,465 THE WHOLE STRUCTURE OF WORLD PEACE IS THREATENED... 388 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,374 YOUR ANNIVERSARY, SIGNORE? 389 00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:28,380 UH... NO, NO, NO, GIUSEPPE, NOT NOW. 390 00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,473 YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T THE LADY? 391 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:32,279 NO, NO. 392 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,717 OH, SIGNORA, MY MISTAKE! 393 00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:35,720 FINE, FINE. 394 00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:37,745 I PLAY FOR YOU, MY MISTAKE. 395 00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:56,274 GIUSEPPE, DO YOU MIND PLAYING OVER THERE? 396 00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:59,971 OH, VERY WELL, SIGNORE, BUT I PLAY ONLY FOR YOU 397 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:03,209 AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL COMPANION. 398 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,845 WELL, WE THINK THIS MR. NEUTRON 399 00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:08,580 IS LOCATED SOMEWHERE IN THE LONDON AREA. 400 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:10,110 WE MUST FIND HIM AND EXTERMINATE HIM. 401 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,986 THE AMERICANS SAY IF WE DON'T, THEY WILL. 402 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:12,888 WHAT?! 403 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,688 THE AMERICANS SAY 404 00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:16,057 IF WE DON'T, THEY WILL! 405 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,824 IF HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT?! 406 00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:21,560 THEY'LL BOMB THE ENTIRE LONDON AREA! 407 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,862 WE'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE! 408 00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:24,562 THEY WON'T BOMB HERE. 409 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:25,900 ARE YOU SURE? 410 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:26,905 SURE. 411 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:27,906 RIGHT. 412 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,237 WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO START? 413 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,174 WELL, APPARENTLY, THEY HAVEN'T GOT NEUTRON YET 414 00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,370 BUT WHEN THEY DO, THEY'RE GOING TO... 415 00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:34,910 THEY'RE GOING TO SEND A WAVE OF BOMBERS! 416 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:40,112 WELL, DID HE TELL YOU ANYTHING? 417 00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:41,119 OH, NO, NO. 418 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:42,120 WE CHASED STICKS 419 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:43,849 WE CHASED A FEW REINDEER. 420 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,857 OH, YOU BEEN CHASING REINDEER, HAVE YOU? 421 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:47,188 YOU'RE A NAUGHTY BOY, EH? 422 00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:48,523 LOOK, WE HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME. 423 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,255 HE HASN'T GIVEN ME ANY INFORMATION YET. 424 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,956 OKAY, LOOK, TELL YOU WHAT THEN, LET'S EAT. 425 00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,362 YOU GIVE HIM ONE OF YOUR MEATBALLS 426 00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:54,387 HE'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING, OKAY? 427 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:55,695 OKAY. 428 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:58,225 WAIT A MINUTE, HE'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING. 429 00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,966 CARPENTER... 430 00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:02,906 AH... CARPENTER... 431 00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:03,965 YES, MR. SALAD? 432 00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:05,169 CAN YOU HEAR ME? 433 00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,906 YEAH, YEAH... 434 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:11,438 IT'S JUST... IT'S SO GODDAMNED PAINFUL IN HERE. 435 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,212 WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 436 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,083 IT'S MR. NEUTRON, SIR... 437 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,485 HE'S GONE MISSING. 438 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,046 THE SUPREME COMMANDER 439 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,955 WANTS YOU TO TAKE CHARGE. 440 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:23,052 I... OH, GOD... 441 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,620 I... I... 442 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,529 YES, MR. SALAD? 443 00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:28,555 I... 444 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,898 I'VE GOT TO GO WALKIES AGAIN. 445 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,370 Still no sign of Captain Carpenter, sir 446 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:39,377 or Mr. Neutron. 447 00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:40,378 OKAY. 448 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,471 WE'LL BOMB NEUTRON OUT. 449 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:47,076 GET ME MOSCOW, PEKING, AND SHANKLIN, ISLE OF WIGHT! 450 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,518 AND SO THE GREAT POWERS 451 00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:51,079 AND THE PEOPLE OF SHANKLIN, ISLE OF WIGHT 452 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,284 DREW THEIR NET IN EVER-TIGHTENING CIRCLES 453 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,418 AROUND THE MOST DANGEROUS THREAT TO PEACE 454 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,087 THE WORLD HAS EVER FACED. 455 00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,063 THEY BOMBED CAIRO, BANGKOK 456 00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:01,224 CAPE TOWN, BUENOS AIRES, HARROW 457 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:05,066 HAMMERSMITH, STEPNEY, WANDSWORTH AND ENFIELD 458 00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,765 BUT ALWAYS IT WAS THE WRONG PLACE. 459 00:20:07,806 --> 00:20:11,105 SORRY, ENFIELD. 460 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:14,340 WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE 461 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,540 CAUSED BY OUR BOMBING. 462 00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:18,709 SORRY. 463 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,080 BUT WHAT OF MR. NEUTRON... 464 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:25,351 THE MOST FEARFULLY DANGEROUS MAN IN THE WORLD 465 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:28,587 THE MAN WHO COULD DESTROY ENTIRE GALAXIES WITH HIS WRIST 466 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,993 THE MAN WHO COULD TEAR FRUIT MACHINES APART 467 00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,053 WITH HIS EYEBALLS? 468 00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:33,758 HE HAD NOT BEEN IDLE. 469 00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,926 IN FACT, HE HAD FALLEN IN LOVE 470 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,801 WITH THE LADY WHO DOES FOR MRS. ENTRAIL. 471 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,135 OH, HELLO, MR. N. 472 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:43,664 TERRIBLE ABOUT ENFIELD, ISN'T IT? 473 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,438 IT'S ALL GONE; SO IS STAINES. 474 00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,104 LOVELY SHOPS THEY USED TO HAVE IN STAINES 475 00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:49,238 AND STANMORE, WHERE THE A.A. OFFICES USED TO BE. 476 00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:51,943 I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'LL PAY OUR A.A. SUBSCRIPTIONS TO NOW. 477 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,212 DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE'LL PAY 478 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,015 OUR A.A. SUBSCRIPTIONS TO NOW, MR. N? 479 00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:59,012 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE A.A., MRS. S.C.U.M. 480 00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:02,823 OH, YES, EVER SINCE THE CORSAIR BROKE DOWN IN LEYTONSTONE. 481 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,522 THEY TOWED IT ALL THE WAY TO DEAUVILLE 482 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:05,393 F.O.C. 483 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,397 YES, YOU KNOW F.O. C... 484 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,329 FREE OF CHARGE. 485 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:08,355 WELL, MY HUSBAND KEN... 486 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,799 K.E. N... HE SAID... 487 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:12,463 OH, FORGET ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, MRS. S.C.U.M. 488 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:14,631 OR MAY I CALL YOU "MRS. S?" 489 00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,641 YOU CAN CALL ME "LINDA" IF YOU LIKE. 490 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,337 NO, I'D RATHER CALL YOU "MRS. S." 491 00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:20,845 OH. 492 00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:23,347 AND YOU CAN CALL ME "MR. N." 493 00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:25,316 WELL, THAT'S WHAT I WAS CALLING YOU. 494 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:28,808 MRS. S., THERE IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 495 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,219 YES, MR. N? 496 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:34,191 I HAVE JUST WON A KELLOGG'S CORN FLAKE COMPETITION. 497 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:36,524 OH, MR. N., THAT'S WONDERFUL! 498 00:21:36,561 --> 00:21:40,224 I GOT THE BALL IN EXACTLY THE RIGHT PLACE. 499 00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,790 THE PRIZE IS £5,000 IN CASH 500 00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:46,201 OR AS MUCH ICE CREAM AS YOU CAN EAT. 501 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:48,934 £5,000! 502 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,670 I WAS THINKING OF TAKING THE ICE CREAM. 503 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,200 OH, NO! 504 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:54,940 IT'S BEEN SO HOT RECENTLY. 505 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,540 YOU COULDN'T EAT THAT MUCH ICE CREAM, MR. N. 506 00:21:57,582 --> 00:22:00,847 MRS. S., I CAN EAT ENORMOUS QUANTITIES OF ICE CREAM 507 00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,183 WITHOUT BEING SICK. 508 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:04,120 NO, NO, TAKE THE £5,000! 509 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,987 PLEASE TAKE THE £5,000! 510 00:22:06,024 --> 00:22:08,254 I WAS THINKING IF WE GOT MARRIED... 511 00:22:08,293 --> 00:22:09,555 OH, YES. 512 00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:13,155 WE COULD USE THE £5,000 TO BUY A SPOON. 513 00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:14,563 OH, WE COULD BUY A LOT MORE THAN THAT. 514 00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:17,067 AND THEN FILL UP WITH ICE CREAM. 515 00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,797 OH, FORGET ABOUT THE ICE CREAM; 516 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:19,895 WE NEED THE MONEY. 517 00:22:19,938 --> 00:22:22,270 WE NEED NOTHING, FOR THERE IS SOMETHING 518 00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:24,366 I HAVE NOT TOLD YOU, MRS. S.C.U.M. 519 00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:26,468 OH, PLEASE, CALL ME "MRS. S." 520 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:28,069 NO, I WOULD RATHER GO BACK 521 00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:31,241 TO CALLING YOU MRS. S.C.U.M., MRS. S.C.U.M. 522 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,649 I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE. 523 00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:36,153 THERE IS NOTHING I CANNOT DO. 524 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,780 OH, MR. N. 525 00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:40,656 I WANT YOU TO BE MY HELPMATE. 526 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:45,857 AS TARZAN HAD HIS JANE, AS NAPOLEON HAD HIS JOSEPHINE 527 00:22:45,897 --> 00:22:48,730 AS FRANKIE LAINE HAD WHOEVER HE HAD... 528 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:51,533 I WANT YOU TO HELP ME 529 00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:53,800 IN MY PLAN TO DOMINATE THE WORLD. 530 00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:56,330 OH, MR. N., THAT I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY! 531 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,434 YOU'RE NOT JEWISH, ARE YOU? 532 00:22:59,644 --> 00:23:01,874 ANOTHER TIME WAS WHEN I AS IN CAIRO 533 00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:03,904 I WAS DISGUISED AS A WATER HYDRANT. 534 00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:06,076 THE WHOLE TOP PART OF MY HEAD HAD BEEN REMOVED AND... 535 00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,107 PLEASE, MR. SALAD 536 00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:09,086 YOU MUST TELL US WHERE NEUTRON IS. 537 00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:12,488 AND I FUNCTIONED, DO YOU HEAR? 538 00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:13,491 I REALLY WORKED. 539 00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:15,117 I COULD PUT OUT A FIRE. 540 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,388 MIND YOU, IT HURT A BIT. 541 00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:18,726 PLEASE, MR. SALAD, THERE ISN'T MUCH TIME. 542 00:23:18,764 --> 00:23:20,231 WHERE IS NEUTRON? 543 00:23:20,265 --> 00:23:23,530 OKAY, GIVE ME ANOTHER MEATBALL, AND I'LL TELL YOU. 544 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,205 OKAY, LISTEN CAREFULLY. 545 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:33,177 I WON'T REPEAT THIS, YOU UNDERSTAND? 546 00:23:33,211 --> 00:23:34,439 YES, YES, QUICK. 547 00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:37,710 I KNOW WHERE NEUTRON IS RIGHT NOW. 548 00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:41,742 I KNOW THE EXACT ADDRESS AND THE EXACT HOUSE 549 00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,049 AND THE EXACT ROAD. 550 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,146 OKAY, WHERE IS IT? 551 00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,054 HE'S NOT IN AMERICA. 552 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,922 NO? 553 00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:50,189 HE'S NOT IN ASIA. 554 00:23:50,228 --> 00:23:51,957 NO? 555 00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:54,124 HE'S NOT IN AUSTRALIA. 556 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,428 NO? 557 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:56,661 HE'S IN... 558 00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:57,463 YES? 559 00:23:57,502 --> 00:23:58,332 EUROPE. 560 00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,530 YES? 561 00:23:59,571 --> 00:24:01,038 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE IN EUROPE? 562 00:24:01,072 --> 00:24:02,061 YES! 563 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:04,371 OKAY, OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU! 564 00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:06,707 HE'S IN ENGLAND, IN LONDON 565 00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:08,906 AT NUMBER 19... 566 00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,780 OKAY, THAT'S THE YUKON, WHAT'S LEFT? 567 00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:14,547 Only Ruislip, the Gobi Desert, and your office, sir. 568 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,214 OKAY, WE'LL START WITH MY OFFICE. 569 00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:20,884 ANKWAT I ODR INKERAT, GOBI DESERT ULVERSTON ROAD BOX. 570 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,358 I WILL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ALL THIS, MRS. S.C.U.M. 571 00:24:29,401 --> 00:24:32,529 OH, MR. N., I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE. 572 00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:34,937 WE WILL HAVE TWO WEEKS IN BENIDORM. 573 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:36,440 OH, YES, YES. 574 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:37,840 AND I WILL MAKE YOU 575 00:24:37,876 --> 00:24:40,811 THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD. 576 00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:50,848 OOH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 577 00:24:50,889 --> 00:24:55,986 OH, MR. N., YOU HAVE MADE MY HEART SING. 578 00:24:56,027 --> 00:24:58,393 LATE IN LIFE'S PAGEANT IT MAY BE 579 00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:01,593 BUT YOU HAVE MADE ROSES BLOOM ANEW FOR ME. 580 00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:05,098 LIFE'S RICH HARVEST IS BEING... 581 00:25:05,136 --> 00:25:07,297 SHUT UP, MRS. S., WE MUST HURRY! 582 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,704 OH, I... 583 00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:10,799 I'D BETTER LEAVE A NOTE FOR KEN; 584 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,241 HE'LL BE EXPECTING US. 585 00:25:12,277 --> 00:25:14,643 HAS MR. NEUTRON ESCAPED IN TIME? 586 00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:16,579 IS THE WORLD UTTERLY DESTROYED? 587 00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:19,914 HOW CAN MR. NEUTRON AND HIS CHILD BRIDE SURVIVE? 588 00:25:19,951 --> 00:25:21,885 WILL HIS MIGHTY POWERS BE OF ANYA VAIL 589 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,080 AGAINST THE HOLOCAUST? 590 00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:25,589 STA Y TUNED TO THIS CHANNEL. 591 00:25:25,624 --> 00:25:26,716 HELLO. 592 00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:28,419 WELL, IN FACT, WHAT HAPPENS IS 593 00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:31,224 THAT THEY ARE SAVED BY MR. NEUTRON'S MIGHTY POWERS 594 00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:33,424 JUST AS THE LAST BOMB FALLS ON RUISLIP. 595 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,899 HOWEVER, THE EARTH HAS BEEN BLOWN OFF ITS AXIS 596 00:25:35,934 --> 00:25:39,097 AND IN A MOST DRAMATIC AND DANGEROUS AND EXPENSIVE SEQUENCE 597 00:25:39,137 --> 00:25:40,627 IT SPINS OFF INTO SPACE. 598 00:25:40,672 --> 00:25:43,573 THERE ARE APPALLINGLY EXPENSIVE SCENES OF DEVASTATION AND HORROR 599 00:25:43,608 --> 00:25:46,076 AND THE FINAL INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE CLIMAX IS REACHED 600 00:25:46,111 --> 00:25:48,739 AS THOUSANDS OF APE MONSTERS IN VERY EXPENSIVE COSTUMES 601 00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,270 DESCEND FROM THE SKY ONTO THESE 602 00:25:50,315 --> 00:25:52,806 PLUG UP A WHOLE CITY WHICH HAD TO BE SPECIALLY BUILT 603 00:25:52,851 --> 00:25:55,911 AND FLING THEM ALL INTO THE SEA VERY EXPENSIVELY. 604 00:25:55,954 --> 00:25:59,287 AND WE CAN SEE THOSE VERY EXPENSIVE SCENES RIGHT NOW. 605 00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:03,858 JUST AFTER THE CREDITS HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH. 606 00:26:05,430 --> 00:26:08,922 INCIDENTALLY, THESE ARE GOING TO BE SOME OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE 607 00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:11,197 AND LAVISH SCENES EVER FILMED BY THE BBC 608 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,602 IN CON JUNCTION WITH TIME-LIFE, OF COURSE. 609 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:16,904 THERE ARE SOME OF THE TECHNICAL PEOPLE 610 00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:18,534 WHO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN FILMING 611 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,010 THESE VERY EXPENSIVE SCENES. 612 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:22,343 THE SOUND... VERY EXPENSIVE SOUND 613 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:24,712 EXPENSIVE VISUAL EFFECTS THERE 614 00:26:24,749 --> 00:26:26,842 EXPENSIVE PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 615 00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:28,978 EXPENSIVE DESIGNER 616 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:30,578 CHEAP DIRECTOR. 617 00:26:30,622 --> 00:26:33,614 WELL, WE'RE GOING TO SEE THOSE VERY EXPENSIVE SCENES RIGHT NOW. 618 00:26:35,193 --> 00:26:36,558 OH, COME ON 619 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:39,029 YOU CAN GIVE US ANOTHER MINUTE, MR. COTTON, PLEASE. 620 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:46,564 GOOD EVENING. 621 00:26:47,973 --> 00:26:50,498 LAST WEEK WE LEARNED HOW TO SAW A LADY IN HALF. 622 00:26:50,542 --> 00:26:52,009 THIS WEEK WE'RE GOING TO LEARN 623 00:26:52,043 --> 00:26:55,012 HOW TO SAW A LADY IN THREE BITS AND DISPOSE OF THE BODY... 624 00:26:55,046 --> 00:26:57,708 WHOA! 625 00:26:57,749 --> 00:27:00,047 LOOK, LOOK, IF YOU CAN PUT ON RUBBISH LIKE THAT 626 00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:01,552 AND "HORSE OF THE YEAR SHOW" 627 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:04,054 YOU CAN AFFORD US ANOTHER MINUTE, MR. COTTON, PLEASE. 628 00:27:04,089 --> 00:27:06,421 I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS LOAD OF OLD... 629 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,791 WORLD DOMINATION T-SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE 630 00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:14,197 FROM THE BBC, WORLD DOMINATION DEPARTMENT, CARDIFF. 631 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll