1
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,882
This is nothing less
than "Zeno's paradox."

2
00:00:54,384 --> 00:00:58,966
You are Achilles
and the tortoise is the orgasm.

3
00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:01,966
- Oh, come on.
- No, no, no. Listen.

4
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:03,966
Achilles and the tortoise
are going to race,

5
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:06,216
and Achilles is confident,

6
00:01:06,384 --> 00:01:10,299
so he gives the tortoise
a hundred meters head start.

7
00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:13,424
Now the mathematical problem
is that

8
00:01:13,592 --> 00:01:16,049
before Achilles
can pass the tortoise,

9
00:01:16,217 --> 00:01:17,424
he has to reach the point

10
00:01:17,592 --> 00:01:21,174
where the tortoise started
after a hundred meters.

11
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:24,591
But when Achilles gets there,
the tortoise has already moved on,

12
00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:26,757
and then he has
to reach the next point,

13
00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:28,383
and the tortoise
has moved on again

14
00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:31,299
and so on and so on and so on.

15
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:34,715
So Achilles can never reach
the tortoise and never pass him.

16
00:01:34,883 --> 00:01:39,049
And in the same way,
because you were giving chase,

17
00:01:39,217 --> 00:01:42,091
you couldn't reach satisfaction.
That's the paradox.

18
00:01:42,258 --> 00:01:45,633
I'm sorry, but it seems as if you're
not taking this very seriously.

19
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,715
I'm telling you about the worst
thing that's happened to me,

20
00:01:48,883 --> 00:01:54,049
that I at that point, within seconds,
lost all sexual sensation.

21
00:01:54,217 --> 00:01:56,466
My cunt simply went numb.

22
00:01:56,634 --> 00:01:58,715
And immediately
we have to hear about

23
00:01:58,883 --> 00:02:01,341
this ridiculous
mathematical problem.

24
00:02:01,509 --> 00:02:06,007
In fact, I'm in doubt
whether you're even listening.

25
00:02:06,175 --> 00:02:08,549
Why do you doubt that?

26
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:14,966
This is not a story I've told
in its entirety before,

27
00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:19,591
but whenever I've told other men
about experiences,

28
00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:22,799
episodes in my sex life,

29
00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:26,132
it was easy to see
that they became quite excited.

30
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,840
I got excited.

31
00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:32,257
Yes, about the mathematical crap,
not about the story.

32
00:02:40,133 --> 00:02:43,966
What kind of a person
are you, actually?

33
00:02:49,175 --> 00:02:51,174
I...

34
00:02:52,384 --> 00:02:54,466
You wouldn't know.

35
00:03:00,592 --> 00:03:02,174
No, but I can guess.

36
00:03:05,841 --> 00:03:08,715
Why didn't I get that earlier?

37
00:03:08,883 --> 00:03:13,882
The fact you don't get excited
over my dirty stories

38
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:16,091
is because you can't relate
to them.

39
00:03:18,509 --> 00:03:21,049
You've never been with a woman.

40
00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:36,299
That's quite accurate.

41
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,799
Not with a man, either.

42
00:03:47,258 --> 00:03:49,632
Are you sorry about that?

43
00:03:54,258 --> 00:03:59,715
Well, yeah, out of curiosity...

44
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:04,341
not out of lust,
as you would think.

45
00:04:10,092 --> 00:04:15,049
I consider myself asexual.

46
00:04:15,217 --> 00:04:19,966
Of course, I experimented with
masturbation when I was a teenager,

47
00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:24,383
but it didn't do much for me.

48
00:04:26,841 --> 00:04:30,548
So, there's nothing sexual
about me.

49
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:38,966
It's not as uncommon
as you would think.

50
00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:43,840
And of course, I've read a lot
about sexual subjects...

51
00:04:44,008 --> 00:04:49,174
"Canterbury Tales"," Decameron",
"Thousand and One Nights".

52
00:04:49,342 --> 00:04:53,174
You name it and I've read it
with great interest

53
00:04:53,342 --> 00:04:55,715
and enjoyment,

54
00:04:55,883 --> 00:04:58,590
but only literary enjoyment.

55
00:05:00,549 --> 00:05:03,007
But... but I think
maybe it makes me

56
00:05:03,175 --> 00:05:05,840
a better listener
to your story, and...

57
00:05:06,008 --> 00:05:12,757
I have no preconceived notions
or preferences.

58
00:05:12,925 --> 00:05:16,507
I'm actually the best judge
you could give your story to.

59
00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:19,674
And when it comes to deciding whether
you're a bad human being or not,

60
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:23,049
I'm... I've no problems with that.

61
00:05:23,217 --> 00:05:26,216
Because I don't look at you
through the glasses

62
00:05:26,384 --> 00:05:30,548
colored by sexuality
or sexual experience.

63
00:05:32,675 --> 00:05:34,799
I'm a virgin.

64
00:05:36,467 --> 00:05:38,590
I'm innocent.

65
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:01,424
She's looking at me.

66
00:06:01,591 --> 00:06:04,465
Yes.

67
00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:08,424
It's an icon.
Is it Russian?

68
00:06:08,591 --> 00:06:09,924
Yes, it's, uh...

69
00:06:10,092 --> 00:06:15,132
It's a skilled copy,
maybe in the manner of Rublev.

70
00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:23,924
Icons are usually connected
to the Eastern Church.

71
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,299
The Eastern Church?

72
00:06:26,508 --> 00:06:29,049
I might become a bit theoretical.

73
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:35,299
You may. I'd like you to tell me
about your picture.

74
00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:40,423
Although the Christian church
was split up in 1054

75
00:06:40,591 --> 00:06:41,924
because of differences in opinion

76
00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:44,840
between the Eastern Church
and the Western Church,

77
00:06:45,008 --> 00:06:51,216
what we today call the Orthodox Church
and the Roman Catholic Church,

78
00:06:51,384 --> 00:06:55,007
this is a typical Eastern Church icon.

79
00:06:55,175 --> 00:06:58,174
It usually depicts the Virgin Mary

80
00:06:58,342 --> 00:07:00,341
and the infant Jesus
and more rarely,

81
00:07:00,508 --> 00:07:02,299
for instance, the crucifixion,

82
00:07:02,466 --> 00:07:05,590
which in the Western Church
was much more prevalent.

83
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:09,216
If you generalize, you could say
that the Western Church

84
00:07:09,383 --> 00:07:10,966
is the church of suffering,

85
00:07:11,133 --> 00:07:14,799
and the Eastern Church
is the church of happiness.

86
00:07:17,508 --> 00:07:20,257
Why is she looking right at me?

87
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,465
Well, she's telling a story.

88
00:07:23,633 --> 00:07:25,257
Icons were originally a kind of

89
00:07:25,424 --> 00:07:28,382
pictorial Bibles for the illiterate.

90
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,590
There are some who say you...

91
00:07:30,758 --> 00:07:34,299
you read an icon, even write it.

92
00:07:36,342 --> 00:07:41,049
There are different types of icons.
This is a Hodegetria.

93
00:07:41,217 --> 00:07:43,548
The directions are very important.

94
00:07:43,716 --> 00:07:47,966
She's looking at you, but she's
pointing at the baby Jesus.

95
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:51,132
And he's looking at you
and pointing at her.

96
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:57,465
Do you see how flat it is?
There's no... no perspective.

97
00:07:59,424 --> 00:08:02,590
It's because it's an image of eternity.

98
00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:06,382
And eternity isn't in 3-D.

99
00:08:07,424 --> 00:08:11,465
But you said the Eastern Church
was the church of joy?

100
00:08:12,508 --> 00:08:15,091
Yeah, the sanctities
of the Eastern Church

101
00:08:15,258 --> 00:08:17,715
were all about the joy of faith

102
00:08:17,883 --> 00:08:21,757
while the Western Church wallowed
in... in suffering and death.

103
00:08:21,925 --> 00:08:26,299
If you imagine a... a mental
journey from Rome eastward,

104
00:08:26,466 --> 00:08:30,091
you feel how you move away
from guilt and pain

105
00:08:30,258 --> 00:08:31,757
towards joy and light.

106
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:34,590
But you say
you didn't believe in God.

107
00:08:34,758 --> 00:08:40,007
No, but the concept of religion
is interesting.

108
00:08:40,175 --> 00:08:43,382
Like the concept of sex.

109
00:08:43,549 --> 00:08:45,382
But you won't find me
on my knees

110
00:08:45,549 --> 00:08:47,924
with regards to either.

111
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:52,132
Let's call this chapter,

112
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:55,174
"The Eastern Church
and the Western Church."

113
00:08:55,341 --> 00:08:56,966
But it won't be...

114
00:08:57,133 --> 00:09:00,382
it won't be a story about
traveling east from Rome

115
00:09:00,549 --> 00:09:03,799
towards the light,
but rather the opposite.

116
00:09:03,967 --> 00:09:07,382
So, in order
not to make it too sad,

117
00:09:07,549 --> 00:09:10,882
I've pepped up the name of
the chapter with an extra title.

118
00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:19,174
I have to go back a bit.

119
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:23,966
I was 12 years old and
on a school trip in the hills.

120
00:12:03,008 --> 00:12:05,966
- Are you making fun of me?
- What do you mean?

121
00:12:06,132 --> 00:12:07,966
You have this orgasm,
not only an orgasm

122
00:12:08,132 --> 00:12:11,465
- but a spontaneous orgasm.
- Yes, it was an orgasm,

123
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:15,632
though the doctor described it
as an epileptic seizure.

124
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,090
And during that orgasm,
you had this vision?

125
00:12:19,257 --> 00:12:23,049
Of these two women
on each side of you.

126
00:12:23,216 --> 00:12:26,632
The woman on my right side
seemed to be dressed

127
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,966
in purple and scarlet

128
00:12:29,132 --> 00:12:32,131
with a lot of gold and pearls.

129
00:12:33,174 --> 00:12:36,298
She was carrying a golden goblet
in her hand.

130
00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:41,715
She was sitting
on some strange animal.

131
00:12:41,883 --> 00:12:46,590
And then the other woman
was dressed in Roman clothes,

132
00:12:46,758 --> 00:12:48,548
a baby on her arm

133
00:12:48,716 --> 00:12:53,632
and her hair lay in tight waves
beneath a veil.

134
00:12:57,174 --> 00:13:00,548
Was she holding the veil
with two fingers like this?

135
00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:02,882
And the other woman,

136
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:07,674
was she sitting on an animal
with seven heads and ten horns?

137
00:13:07,841 --> 00:13:12,340
The animal only had one head.
It was kind of a bull.

138
00:13:16,758 --> 00:13:19,256
What's the matter?

139
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,382
You're making this up.

140
00:13:22,549 --> 00:13:25,966
No, I'm not. I'm telling you
about my first orgasm,

141
00:13:26,132 --> 00:13:28,590
which came upon me
without the slightest touch

142
00:13:28,758 --> 00:13:32,382
in some strange ways
up in the mountains.

143
00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:35,173
I never had achieved
an orgasm before,

144
00:13:35,341 --> 00:13:36,423
even though I masturbated

145
00:13:36,591 --> 00:13:39,507
as if my life depended on it
during that time.

146
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:48,924
Your story is like a...
blasphemous retelling

147
00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:53,090
of the Transfiguration
of Jesus on the Mount,

148
00:13:53,257 --> 00:13:58,215
which is one of the Eastern Church's
holiest passages.

149
00:13:58,383 --> 00:14:01,840
It's when the humanity of Christ
is illuminated

150
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,382
by the divine light of eternity.

151
00:14:04,549 --> 00:14:08,382
Jesus, Peter and two disciples
had climbed a mountain.

152
00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:10,840
And suddenly,
the disciples see this light

153
00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:13,382
emanating from Jesus' head.

154
00:14:13,549 --> 00:14:16,298
And Moses and Elijah
appear by his side.

155
00:14:16,466 --> 00:14:20,965
And they hear the voice of God,
calling him his son.

156
00:14:21,132 --> 00:14:26,298
The relationship between...
between the two women and you

157
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,840
would be the same
as the relation

158
00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:33,507
between Moses and Elijah
and Jesus.

159
00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:36,298
And that's where
it becomes blasphemous.

160
00:14:37,925 --> 00:14:39,298
I see.

161
00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:40,882
You don't even...

162
00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:43,923
you don't even know who
these women were, do you?

163
00:14:46,924 --> 00:14:50,632
No, but one of them did look
like the Virgin Mary,

164
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,090
now that you mention it.

165
00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:54,173
Well, it wasn't the Virgin Mary,
I can tell you that.

166
00:14:55,591 --> 00:14:56,840
From your description,

167
00:14:57,007 --> 00:14:59,382
it must've been
Valeria Messalina,

168
00:14:59,549 --> 00:15:01,923
the wife of Emperor Claudius,

169
00:15:02,091 --> 00:15:05,715
the most notorious nymphomaniac
in history.

170
00:15:08,383 --> 00:15:10,840
I thought she looked
like your icon.

171
00:15:11,007 --> 00:15:14,131
We have that image
from a statue in the Louvre.

172
00:15:14,299 --> 00:15:19,548
It's made like a Hodegetria, but it's
not a religious person, far from it.

173
00:15:20,758 --> 00:15:24,465
And the other woman,
the one astride the creature,

174
00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:27,548
that was no one else
but the great Whore of Babylon,

175
00:15:27,716 --> 00:15:31,632
riding on Nimrod
in the form of a bull.

176
00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:38,340
If anyone else
would've told me that story,

177
00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:41,465
I would've seen it
as a blasphemous joke,

178
00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:43,298
spiced up with a Biblical light

179
00:15:43,466 --> 00:15:47,923
emanating from nothing less
than a spontaneous orgasm.

180
00:15:50,091 --> 00:15:52,006
Goodness gracious.

181
00:15:52,174 --> 00:15:54,881
You demand a lot
of your listener.

182
00:15:56,091 --> 00:15:59,548
I promise you I'm as innocent
in regards to the religious

183
00:15:59,716 --> 00:16:02,674
as you are when it comes to sex.

184
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:07,298
The Transfiguration
on the Venus Mount.

185
00:16:10,049 --> 00:16:14,090
And then later,
you lost your orgasm altogether.

186
00:16:19,508 --> 00:16:21,799
Wagner. "Das Rheingold".

187
00:16:21,966 --> 00:16:26,423
The descent into Nibelheim.
Was it that bad?

188
00:16:26,591 --> 00:16:29,757
Try to imagine that
in one fell swoop,

189
00:16:29,924 --> 00:16:32,131
you lost all desire to read

190
00:16:32,299 --> 00:16:35,632
and all your love and passion
for books and letters.

191
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,674
I don't even know
if I can imagine that.

192
00:17:01,007 --> 00:17:02,548
Can I help you?

193
00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:06,674
But as so often before in my life,

194
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:11,298
a bit of hope sprang
from a mystical event.

195
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:12,632
Which was?

196
00:18:12,799 --> 00:18:17,382
Three dead leaves
performing a strange ballet.

197
00:18:17,549 --> 00:18:21,632
That gave you hope?
For what?

198
00:18:21,799 --> 00:18:26,215
- For regaining my sexuality.
- How?

199
00:18:28,633 --> 00:18:31,131
To claim it by force.

200
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:01,632
In spite of my tireless efforts,

201
00:19:01,799 --> 00:19:05,048
my cunt totally failed to respond.

202
00:19:06,383 --> 00:19:08,798
But the fact
that the initiative had shifted

203
00:19:08,966 --> 00:19:11,839
seemed to encourage Jerome greatly.

204
00:19:12,007 --> 00:19:13,881
And I have to admit
there came a time

205
00:19:14,049 --> 00:19:16,839
when we had fun together.

206
00:19:20,757 --> 00:19:22,965
I'll give you a fiver.

207
00:19:23,257 --> 00:19:25,131
Uh-huh.

208
00:19:25,633 --> 00:19:28,256
If you can put this...

209
00:19:28,424 --> 00:19:30,756
up inside your cunt.

210
00:19:30,924 --> 00:19:34,423
- A fiver?
- Right.

211
00:19:48,132 --> 00:19:50,048
Shit.

212
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,631
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

213
00:20:39,007 --> 00:20:42,673
- Didn't you get any spoons?
- No, we didn't.

214
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,923
So what does this tell us?

215
00:21:42,091 --> 00:21:45,173
That love and sex have nothing
to do with each other, or...

216
00:21:45,341 --> 00:21:48,256
or that they decidedly
work against one another?

217
00:21:48,424 --> 00:21:51,673
The most grotesque thing
was that it was during that period,

218
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,048
where every sexual sensation
was denied me, a period,

219
00:21:56,216 --> 00:22:00,006
I must admit, of secure
and restful domestic comfort.

220
00:22:00,174 --> 00:22:03,006
We had moved in together
and so on,

221
00:22:03,174 --> 00:22:04,589
that I became pregnant,

222
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:07,714
because I was careless
about my birth control pills.

223
00:22:07,882 --> 00:22:10,881
Consciously or unconsciously,

224
00:22:11,049 --> 00:22:14,048
it was important for me
to have a Caesarean.

225
00:22:14,216 --> 00:22:17,173
I mean, I was hoping that my cunt
was going to fucking work again,

226
00:22:18,257 --> 00:22:21,048
and I had a feeling
that a haphazard birth

227
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:24,048
wouldn't make things better.

228
00:22:24,216 --> 00:22:26,423
I may have been imagining things,

229
00:22:26,590 --> 00:22:29,631
but as I lay there,
the noise from the instruments

230
00:22:29,799 --> 00:22:33,173
rang out in a chord like
the one from the Little Flock.

231
00:22:35,132 --> 00:22:38,256
Yes. And it wasn't fear.

232
00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:41,965
More like a kind of disgust.

233
00:22:56,091 --> 00:22:59,382
I could've sworn
I saw him laughing.

234
00:22:59,548 --> 00:23:01,589
A laughing son.

235
00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:03,340
In "Doctor Faustus",
Thomas Mann describes

236
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:06,006
the birth of Noah's son Ham,

237
00:23:06,174 --> 00:23:07,965
who was laughing when he was born.

238
00:23:10,049 --> 00:23:11,631
Another satanic omen.

239
00:23:15,548 --> 00:23:20,382
Incidentally, the innocent child
was named Marcel after Mars,

240
00:23:20,548 --> 00:23:21,923
the Roman God of War.

241
00:23:22,091 --> 00:23:24,173
And motherhood?

242
00:23:24,341 --> 00:23:28,547
I assume maternal love didn't
quite live up to its expectations.

243
00:23:28,715 --> 00:23:31,422
No, I didn't have
any expectations.

244
00:23:31,590 --> 00:23:34,215
And maternal love
wasn't a problem.

245
00:23:35,299 --> 00:23:38,798
It was just that each time
I looked into the child's eyes,

246
00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:44,048
I had this unsettling feeling
of having been found out.

247
00:23:47,423 --> 00:23:50,714
It's probably
a strange thing to say about a child...

248
00:23:50,882 --> 00:23:54,131
that my love wasn't being returned.

249
00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:57,256
But it was my perception.

250
00:23:59,465 --> 00:24:02,506
If Jerome had hoped for a break
from what was for him

251
00:24:02,674 --> 00:24:06,464
now mostly strenuous work,
he could forget about it.

252
00:24:06,632 --> 00:24:10,340
Achilles was again chasing
the tortoise.

253
00:24:13,715 --> 00:24:16,881
- Fill all my holes.
- I can't, Joe.

254
00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:23,340
I'm sorry.

255
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:27,881
I'm trying.

256
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,839
- Can we talk a bit?
- Of course.

257
00:24:42,049 --> 00:24:46,839
I love you. I love your wildness
and your desire. I love you, Joe.

258
00:24:49,174 --> 00:24:50,881
At the moment,
I don't seem to satisfy you

259
00:24:51,049 --> 00:24:53,131
in the way that I'd like to.

260
00:24:54,423 --> 00:24:55,298
Don't get upset, Joe.

261
00:24:55,465 --> 00:24:56,965
It doesn't mean we won't continue
with our sex life,

262
00:24:57,132 --> 00:24:59,464
which is very important to me.

263
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,965
Very important to me.

264
00:25:04,757 --> 00:25:07,965
When you buy a tiger, right,

265
00:25:08,132 --> 00:25:10,090
you also have to feed it.

266
00:25:10,257 --> 00:25:14,923
Um, satisfy it, right?

267
00:25:21,715 --> 00:25:23,923
Long story short.

268
00:25:24,548 --> 00:25:26,048
I have a tiger on my hands.

269
00:25:26,216 --> 00:25:28,756
- You mean I'm too much for you.
- No.

270
00:25:28,924 --> 00:25:31,381
You're just the way you should be.

271
00:25:31,548 --> 00:25:33,215
I was just thinking
if you would consider

272
00:25:33,382 --> 00:25:36,422
that I get a little help
with the feeding, that's all.

273
00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:43,422
You're saying I should have sex
with others as well.

274
00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:53,923
That's a rather cruel way
of putting it, Joe, but...

275
00:25:54,091 --> 00:25:56,464
- But exact.
- Exact.

276
00:26:08,465 --> 00:26:10,923
For a long time I'd
been playing around with the idea

277
00:26:11,091 --> 00:26:13,422
that the concept of
the fuck-me-now clothes

278
00:26:13,590 --> 00:26:14,714
could be improved.

279
00:26:16,049 --> 00:26:17,506
You look nice.

280
00:26:17,674 --> 00:26:20,798
And became the piano teacher.

281
00:26:43,548 --> 00:26:46,589
- You okay?
- No.

282
00:26:46,757 --> 00:26:49,589
- What's the matter?
- Well, I'm such an idiot with cars.

283
00:26:49,757 --> 00:26:51,839
I don't really know what to do.
Do you mind helping me?

284
00:26:53,882 --> 00:26:57,547
Of course it won't work. The
spark plug caps have been removed.

285
00:26:57,715 --> 00:27:01,673
Yes, I did that.
Was that wrong?

286
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,881
For the first time
I had the pleasure

287
00:27:04,049 --> 00:27:05,923
of having an eight-cylinder car.

288
00:27:06,091 --> 00:27:07,839
The possible combinations

289
00:27:08,007 --> 00:27:10,881
of eight spark plug caps
on eight spark plugs

290
00:27:11,049 --> 00:27:13,798
are 40,320,

291
00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,673
if I remember
my math correctly.

292
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,339
And only one of these
will make the car run,

293
00:27:20,507 --> 00:27:22,714
which gave me
all the time I needed.

294
00:27:22,882 --> 00:27:25,798
Beethoven, huh?
He was certainly very good,

295
00:27:25,966 --> 00:27:27,673
but, you know,
he couldn't write a fugue.

296
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,589
- You think so?
- Well, yeah, I think so.

297
00:27:47,590 --> 00:27:51,048
It would be more precise
to say that Beethoven

298
00:27:51,215 --> 00:27:53,798
renewed the fugue.

299
00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:58,506
That he was such a visionary
that the old Bach purists,

300
00:27:58,674 --> 00:28:01,839
they accused him
of not mastering it.

301
00:28:24,049 --> 00:28:26,048
Good day?

302
00:28:34,007 --> 00:28:36,673
Not one word was ever spoken

303
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,130
between me and Jerome
about my piano lessons.

304
00:28:54,340 --> 00:28:56,255
The first time the
mysterious letters

305
00:28:56,423 --> 00:28:57,464
addressed to me arrived,

306
00:28:57,632 --> 00:29:00,255
I, of course, feared that
they were love letters

307
00:29:00,423 --> 00:29:03,631
from someone I'd completely
forgotten about and hid them,

308
00:29:03,799 --> 00:29:07,631
so as not to hurt Jerome
if he should see them.

309
00:29:14,465 --> 00:29:17,839
But as Jerome was always somehow
present when I would get the mail,

310
00:29:18,007 --> 00:29:21,172
and as the envelopes
were always empty,

311
00:29:21,340 --> 00:29:23,381
I understood that the letters,
in fact,

312
00:29:23,548 --> 00:29:27,547
were sent by Jerome himself
as a way of testing me.

313
00:29:29,590 --> 00:29:31,464
My decision not to
show them to him

314
00:29:31,632 --> 00:29:34,214
was exactly the reaction
he had feared,

315
00:29:34,382 --> 00:29:37,214
and it reaffirmed
his insane jealousy

316
00:29:37,382 --> 00:29:40,839
and his fantasies
of the countless times

317
00:29:41,007 --> 00:29:44,547
I would fall in love for real
while being the piano teacher.

318
00:30:13,340 --> 00:30:14,923
And now to reach the heart

319
00:30:15,090 --> 00:30:17,005
of your suffering Western Church,

320
00:30:17,173 --> 00:30:20,381
I have to jump ahead
three years in the story

321
00:30:20,548 --> 00:30:23,673
and talk about my meeting
with what I would call

322
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,089
"The Dangerous Men."

323
00:30:31,465 --> 00:30:34,547
I was alone with Marcel a lot
during this period,

324
00:30:34,715 --> 00:30:37,589
as Jerome was traveling
most of the time,

325
00:30:37,757 --> 00:30:40,506
and when he was finally home,
he spent most of the time

326
00:30:40,674 --> 00:30:43,172
accusing me of neglecting Marcel,

327
00:30:43,340 --> 00:30:44,673
which, in my opinion,

328
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:48,089
was just a cover for
his anger over my lovers.

329
00:30:48,256 --> 00:30:52,714
Despite my, to put it mildly,
promiscuous initiatives,

330
00:30:52,882 --> 00:30:56,339
any sexual satisfaction,
let alone orgasm,

331
00:30:56,507 --> 00:30:59,798
was further away than ever before.

332
00:31:18,090 --> 00:31:20,673
I had to make a change.

333
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:22,714
And somehow,
the inspiration had been

334
00:31:22,882 --> 00:31:26,506
right there beneath my window
the whole time.

335
00:31:26,674 --> 00:31:30,005
I'd planned to go where
I would never before

336
00:31:30,173 --> 00:31:32,089
had dreamt of going.

337
00:31:32,256 --> 00:31:37,547
For instance, to be with a man with
whom I shared no spoken language.

338
00:31:37,715 --> 00:31:40,506
I could feel that
it turned me on enormously

339
00:31:40,674 --> 00:31:43,547
to imagine a sexual situation

340
00:31:43,715 --> 00:31:48,255
in which verbal communication
was impossible.

341
00:31:51,507 --> 00:31:52,589
- Hello.
- Hello.

342
00:31:52,757 --> 00:31:54,673
I'm Tobias, the interpreter.

343
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,297
Hello, I'm Joe. Come in.

344
00:31:57,465 --> 00:32:00,130
I understand that you mastered
the African languages.

345
00:32:00,298 --> 00:32:03,089
I do have a basis.

346
00:32:03,256 --> 00:32:05,214
Who and what needs
interpretation?

347
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:10,589
Um, that man.
The one with the green jacket.

348
00:32:10,757 --> 00:32:13,255
What language is being spoken?

349
00:32:13,423 --> 00:32:15,089
Well, God knows. I...

350
00:32:15,256 --> 00:32:18,297
All I know is that
he doesn't speak English.

351
00:32:36,548 --> 00:32:39,297
It's quite difficult.

352
00:32:39,465 --> 00:32:43,547
But, uh, we did manage
to find a dialect,

353
00:32:43,715 --> 00:32:45,172
of which we both
had some knowledge.

354
00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:46,255
Mm-hm.

355
00:32:48,548 --> 00:32:49,673
You coming?

356
00:32:49,839 --> 00:32:52,464
No, I'll stay here,
and the two of you communicate.

357
00:32:54,548 --> 00:32:57,922
You are to ask him if he wants
to have sex with me.

358
00:32:58,090 --> 00:33:00,547
- Sex?
- Mm-hmm.

359
00:33:02,757 --> 00:33:04,964
Yeah, um...

360
00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:32,297
- Is it a go?
- It's hard to say.

361
00:33:33,173 --> 00:33:38,255
I've written down
the time and place, but, um...

362
00:33:39,173 --> 00:33:41,255
Honestly, I wouldn't like
to take responsibility

363
00:33:41,423 --> 00:33:44,547
for the precise wording
in this case, which I think,

364
00:33:44,715 --> 00:33:47,964
uh, accidentally may belong

365
00:33:48,131 --> 00:33:51,339
to a grey zone in my profession.

366
00:33:53,340 --> 00:33:55,756
It was the address of
a cheap hotel.

367
00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:05,756
Why were there two?

368
00:34:05,923 --> 00:34:07,756
My words exactly.

369
00:34:07,923 --> 00:34:11,838
Apparently, N had brought
his brother along.

370
00:36:48,256 --> 00:36:50,130
Why was he so angry?

371
00:36:50,298 --> 00:36:52,922
Clearly, it was something
personal between them,

372
00:36:53,090 --> 00:36:55,797
but later I heard that
performing a sandwich

373
00:36:55,965 --> 00:36:59,172
requires great sensitivity,
since the men apparently

374
00:36:59,340 --> 00:37:01,838
can feel each other
through the tissue.

375
00:37:02,006 --> 00:37:05,422
I imagine the quarrel had
already started on the stairs

376
00:37:05,589 --> 00:37:08,672
and that one or the other party
had laid claim

377
00:37:08,839 --> 00:37:10,797
to one or the other of my holes

378
00:37:10,965 --> 00:37:14,464
in conflict with his Negro
brother's interests.

379
00:37:14,631 --> 00:37:17,297
You shouldn't use that word.

380
00:37:17,465 --> 00:37:20,297
It's not what you call
politically correct.

381
00:37:20,465 --> 00:37:21,506
Negro.

382
00:37:21,673 --> 00:37:24,464
Well, excuse me,
but in my circles,

383
00:37:24,631 --> 00:37:27,339
it's always been a mark of honor
to call a spade a spade.

384
00:37:28,589 --> 00:37:31,464
Each time a word becomes prohibited,

385
00:37:31,631 --> 00:37:34,172
you remove a stone
from the democratic foundation.

386
00:37:34,340 --> 00:37:39,047
Society demonstrates its impotence
in the face of a concrete problem

387
00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:41,130
by removing words
from the language.

388
00:37:41,298 --> 00:37:44,880
The book burners have nothing
on modern society.

389
00:37:45,048 --> 00:37:46,130
I think society would claim

390
00:37:46,298 --> 00:37:50,005
that politically correctness
is a very precise expression

391
00:37:50,173 --> 00:37:52,922
of democratic concern
for minorities.

392
00:37:53,090 --> 00:37:58,089
And I say that society is
as cowardly as the people in it

393
00:37:58,256 --> 00:38:02,130
who, in my opinion, are also
too stupid for democracy.

394
00:38:04,173 --> 00:38:07,838
I understand your point,
but I totally disagree.

395
00:38:08,006 --> 00:38:09,464
I have no doubt
in the human qualities.

396
00:38:10,881 --> 00:38:14,464
The human qualities can be
expressed in one word:

397
00:38:14,631 --> 00:38:15,713
hypocrisy.

398
00:38:16,673 --> 00:38:20,464
We elevate those who say
right but mean wrong,

399
00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:23,464
and mock those who say
wrong but mean right.

400
00:38:25,423 --> 00:38:27,922
Society is based on hate.

401
00:38:28,090 --> 00:38:30,422
It should be based
on forgiveness.

402
00:38:31,756 --> 00:38:34,381
Hatred is rudimentary.

403
00:38:36,256 --> 00:38:40,047
One should be able
to forgive one's executioner.

404
00:38:44,839 --> 00:38:46,922
By the way, I can assure you

405
00:38:47,090 --> 00:38:51,297
that women who claim that Negros
don't turn them on are lying.

406
00:38:51,465 --> 00:38:54,130
So, did they satisfy you?

407
00:38:54,298 --> 00:38:56,005
Those Ne... Negros.

408
00:38:57,547 --> 00:39:02,422
No, but they showed me that
there was a world far from mine

409
00:39:02,589 --> 00:39:04,880
I had to explore.

410
00:39:05,048 --> 00:39:08,089
And there, or perhaps
on the other side

411
00:39:08,256 --> 00:39:09,964
get my life back.

412
00:39:56,215 --> 00:39:58,463
Who are you?

413
00:40:00,547 --> 00:40:02,047
I know what you do.

414
00:40:02,965 --> 00:40:06,297
I'd like to be
one of the women you see.

415
00:40:10,006 --> 00:40:12,255
That's of no interest.

416
00:40:18,131 --> 00:40:19,880
Madame.

417
00:41:12,965 --> 00:41:16,505
Princess,
I specifically said five days,

418
00:41:16,673 --> 00:41:19,922
and five days haven't gone yet.

419
00:41:20,090 --> 00:41:25,922
So, you'll have to leave.
Sorry.

420
00:41:36,048 --> 00:41:38,047
You still here?

421
00:41:40,215 --> 00:41:42,297
I, uh...

422
00:41:43,215 --> 00:41:45,672
I don't think this is for you.

423
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:53,172
Shall we conduct a small test?

424
00:41:56,547 --> 00:41:58,338
Stand up.

425
00:42:06,589 --> 00:42:08,380
Sit down, please.

426
00:42:16,173 --> 00:42:22,130
I just want you to sit
completely relaxed

427
00:42:22,297 --> 00:42:24,880
while I hit you in the face.

428
00:42:25,048 --> 00:42:26,755
Nothing special.

429
00:42:26,923 --> 00:42:31,254
It's just a...
it's just a slap.

430
00:42:36,714 --> 00:42:38,421
You ready?

431
00:42:39,923 --> 00:42:41,922
I'm ready.

432
00:42:49,090 --> 00:42:50,880
No!

433
00:42:53,923 --> 00:42:55,463
See?

434
00:43:06,215 --> 00:43:08,922
How mysterious.

435
00:43:09,090 --> 00:43:11,964
Will you give me
a reasonable explanation now,

436
00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:14,380
or shall we wait?

437
00:43:16,255 --> 00:43:18,047
I can't give you an explanation

438
00:43:18,214 --> 00:43:21,296
and certainly not a reasonable one.

439
00:43:21,464 --> 00:43:25,838
What exactly were the rumors
about him?

440
00:43:26,006 --> 00:43:30,505
- That he was violent.
- How can that be exciting?

441
00:43:34,131 --> 00:43:36,421
I think the easiest way
to understand it

442
00:43:36,589 --> 00:43:39,213
is to refer to my rebellious nature.

443
00:43:40,798 --> 00:43:45,880
This business of K's was something
I was completely against.

444
00:43:46,048 --> 00:43:47,964
So, the fact
that I was now contacting him

445
00:43:48,131 --> 00:43:50,922
was a last, desperate attempt

446
00:43:51,090 --> 00:43:54,171
to rehabilitate my sexuality.

447
00:43:55,131 --> 00:43:58,505
The system was
the overriding factor with K.

448
00:43:59,381 --> 00:44:01,505
A system of violence?

449
00:44:02,297 --> 00:44:05,296
Well, you were the one

450
00:44:05,464 --> 00:44:09,213
who insisted on
the Western Church, right?

451
00:44:09,381 --> 00:44:11,755
And I... I seem to remember

452
00:44:11,923 --> 00:44:16,047
that the systematic approach
to the crucifixion

453
00:44:16,214 --> 00:44:19,797
is of a violent
and not to say sadistic nature.

454
00:44:19,965 --> 00:44:23,964
Oh yes, the Passion of Christ
is full of systematic violence.

455
00:44:24,131 --> 00:44:26,838
The Via Dolorosa,
the Nine Stations of the Cross,

456
00:44:27,006 --> 00:44:29,672
and the 39 lashes.

457
00:44:53,798 --> 00:44:56,588
You are beginning
to irritate me.

458
00:45:26,881 --> 00:45:29,338
Let me tell you the rules, then.

459
00:45:31,255 --> 00:45:33,713
The first rule
is that I don't fuck you,

460
00:45:34,673 --> 00:45:37,922
and there isn't any discussions
about that.

461
00:45:38,923 --> 00:45:41,171
Then, what do you get out of it?

462
00:45:41,339 --> 00:45:46,171
That's my business, and I don't
mean to mention it again.

463
00:45:46,339 --> 00:45:50,005
The second rule
is that we have no safe word,

464
00:45:51,172 --> 00:45:53,713
meaning that if you,
uh, go inside with me,

465
00:45:53,881 --> 00:45:56,630
there is nothing that you can say

466
00:45:56,798 --> 00:46:01,838
that will make me stop
any plan or procedure.

467
00:46:02,006 --> 00:46:07,005
You must bring a brown,
used leather riding crop.

468
00:46:07,172 --> 00:46:12,254
And not one
from a shop selling sex toys.

469
00:46:12,422 --> 00:46:14,046
It's not a masquerade.

470
00:46:16,297 --> 00:46:18,713
Third rule...

471
00:46:18,881 --> 00:46:24,797
If I choose to let you in,
you have to be sitting out here.

472
00:46:24,965 --> 00:46:29,505
In other words, you...
you won't know when.

473
00:46:29,673 --> 00:46:35,213
Only that it would be some time
between 2:00 and 6:00 at night.

474
00:46:35,381 --> 00:46:37,296
I can't stay here that late.

475
00:46:37,464 --> 00:46:41,254
My babysitter's not reliable,
and I can't leave my child.

476
00:46:43,923 --> 00:46:45,546
You don't even know my name!

477
00:46:45,714 --> 00:46:48,129
I'm not interested in your name.

478
00:46:49,589 --> 00:46:52,046
Here, your name is...

479
00:46:54,631 --> 00:46:56,421
Fido.

480
00:47:10,172 --> 00:47:11,713
Can I help you?

481
00:47:11,881 --> 00:47:14,463
I'd like to buy a riding crop.

482
00:47:14,631 --> 00:47:17,964
- For what?
- For my horse.

483
00:47:18,130 --> 00:47:20,546
Yes, I understand that part.
What kind of horse?

484
00:47:23,089 --> 00:47:25,963
Well, it's not very big.

485
00:47:26,130 --> 00:47:28,588
No, I just meant is the whip
for dressage or for jumping?

486
00:47:28,756 --> 00:47:30,672
Um...

487
00:47:30,881 --> 00:47:32,421
I don't know.

488
00:47:33,547 --> 00:47:36,046
This is a dressage whip.

489
00:47:36,214 --> 00:47:38,046
Well, it's probably
for jumping, then.

490
00:47:38,214 --> 00:47:40,254
Okay. Like this?

491
00:47:44,339 --> 00:47:46,254
- Is it used?
- No.

492
00:47:47,214 --> 00:47:50,171
We do have used whips,
but these are not that expensive.

493
00:47:51,839 --> 00:47:53,672
I prefer a used one.

494
00:47:56,047 --> 00:47:57,588
Okay.

495
00:48:04,756 --> 00:48:07,463
Marcel's awake.

496
00:48:07,631 --> 00:48:10,004
Do you want to say goodbye
to your mom?

497
00:48:10,172 --> 00:48:12,546
Goodbye.

498
00:49:11,589 --> 00:49:13,046
Fido...

499
00:49:35,130 --> 00:49:37,129
I'll take your coat.

500
00:49:57,506 --> 00:49:59,921
I'd like you
to have your hair up.

501
00:50:01,214 --> 00:50:03,921
You can use this.

502
00:50:04,089 --> 00:50:07,879
Just in case it becomes necessary
for me to hit you in the face.

503
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:10,546
Should I take my clothes off?

504
00:50:12,047 --> 00:50:15,338
I'll tell you
what to do and when.

505
00:50:17,214 --> 00:50:18,879
You may sit down.

506
00:50:29,214 --> 00:50:31,046
Give me your hand.

507
00:50:38,422 --> 00:50:40,837
I wanna see what this knot
looks like on your wrist.

508
00:50:57,673 --> 00:50:58,963
Okay.

509
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,796
You may get up.

510
00:51:15,214 --> 00:51:17,963
- Now you may bend down.
- How?

511
00:51:20,214 --> 00:51:22,129
Approach the chair.

512
00:51:23,838 --> 00:51:25,546
Now bend from the hips.

513
00:51:28,755 --> 00:51:31,672
Look forward. Look forward.
With your head up.

514
00:51:31,838 --> 00:51:34,712
Head up.
Keep looking forward.

515
00:51:41,464 --> 00:51:43,505
Keep looking forward.

516
00:51:48,005 --> 00:51:49,879
You may stand up.

517
00:51:51,464 --> 00:51:53,463
We have to use the couch.

518
00:51:56,005 --> 00:51:57,837
Come and sit.

519
00:52:00,297 --> 00:52:04,213
Take it easy. Take it easy.

520
00:52:04,381 --> 00:52:06,088
Bend over.

521
00:52:08,673 --> 00:52:10,879
Lay your arms out straight.

522
00:52:21,381 --> 00:52:23,712
Take it easy. Take it easy.

523
00:53:05,255 --> 00:53:08,129
Bring your hands out straight.

524
00:53:08,339 --> 00:53:10,546
Palms facing each other.

525
00:53:18,589 --> 00:53:20,171
Take it easy.

526
00:53:57,172 --> 00:53:59,380
Next time, don't wear knickers.

527
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:28,129
Your ass is not high enough.

528
00:54:28,297 --> 00:54:29,463
I don't think
we can do this today.

529
00:54:29,630 --> 00:54:31,213
What?

530
00:54:38,047 --> 00:54:40,129
I'd like to see you again
on Thursday.

531
00:54:47,255 --> 00:54:49,587
What's wrong?

532
00:54:49,755 --> 00:54:52,421
I think we should see
how it goes on Thursday.

533
00:55:05,339 --> 00:55:07,171
Hi, I can't
come to the phone right now.

534
00:55:07,339 --> 00:55:09,504
Please, leave a message.

535
00:55:09,672 --> 00:55:12,504
Yes, this is Marcel's mother again.

536
00:55:12,672 --> 00:55:17,046
It's now 1:30.
We had an agreement.

537
00:55:17,214 --> 00:55:21,754
I hope you get this message
and come as quickly as you can.

538
00:55:23,339 --> 00:55:26,171
Ah, Marcel is sleeping.

539
00:55:26,339 --> 00:55:30,463
Uh... I have to go now.

540
00:56:26,255 --> 00:56:28,171
Raise yourself up.

541
00:56:31,089 --> 00:56:33,004
Even further.

542
00:56:36,797 --> 00:56:38,338
Better.

543
00:56:58,421 --> 00:57:02,420
Also so much better.
So much better.

544
00:57:08,838 --> 00:57:11,671
I am now going to hit you 12 times,

545
00:57:11,838 --> 00:57:14,004
no matter how much you scream

546
00:57:14,172 --> 00:57:16,379
'cause no one can hear you
down here.

547
00:57:23,755 --> 00:57:27,587
That's, uh, that's not how it goes.

548
00:57:29,172 --> 00:57:31,921
Most people don't scream
until I hit them.

549
00:58:33,713 --> 00:58:35,337
That's it.

550
00:58:39,505 --> 00:58:43,088
- Thank you.
- You're very welcome.

551
00:58:54,338 --> 00:58:56,420
Hello? Are you there?

552
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:02,337
It's just all so very strange.

553
00:59:02,505 --> 00:59:06,254
Yes. Very, very strange.

554
00:59:06,964 --> 00:59:12,253
Because I was wetter the second time.
There's no doubt about it.

555
00:59:12,421 --> 00:59:15,295
I don't know where we get
our sexuality from

556
00:59:15,463 --> 00:59:19,545
or where tendencies
of this kind come from.

557
00:59:20,630 --> 00:59:23,671
Probably a perversion created
in our childhood

558
00:59:23,838 --> 00:59:26,129
that never manifested itself before.

559
00:59:26,296 --> 00:59:30,712
Well, oddly enough,
Freud says the opposite.

560
00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:34,420
He talks about the polymorphic
perversion of a child,

561
00:59:34,588 --> 00:59:39,712
meaning that in a child,
all kinds of perversions exist.

562
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:43,046
And then we use
the childhood to diminish

563
00:59:43,214 --> 00:59:45,796
or remove some of them.

564
00:59:45,964 --> 00:59:49,253
Basically, a child
is sexually polymorphic,

565
00:59:49,421 --> 00:59:53,046
and everything is sexuality
in an infant.

566
00:59:53,213 --> 00:59:56,337
And yet it was deeply bizarre

567
00:59:56,505 --> 01:00:00,379
to lie there and especially
to want to lie there.

568
01:00:04,630 --> 01:00:07,629
I felt invincible.

569
01:00:07,797 --> 01:00:10,462
But mostly,
I felt like a potted plant.

570
01:00:12,089 --> 01:00:13,671
Potted plant?

571
01:00:13,838 --> 01:00:17,879
Yes, because he was constantly
checking my cunt juice.

572
01:00:18,047 --> 01:00:23,004
The way old ladies check their potted
plant to see if they need watering.

573
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:29,879
It is an interesting point
that you actually lubricated

574
01:00:30,047 --> 01:00:34,129
in expectation for a pain
that you hadn't experienced.

575
01:00:36,089 --> 01:00:39,004
Your body prepared itself
for an intercourse

576
01:00:39,171 --> 01:00:41,587
that you knew wouldn't happen.

577
01:00:43,505 --> 01:00:47,170
I can only describe
the mood as sexual.

578
01:00:49,171 --> 01:00:51,712
Despite K's immature appearance,

579
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:56,046
his methods were
surprisingly refined.

580
01:00:56,213 --> 01:01:00,712
As I twisted and turned
while he was whipping me,

581
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:04,629
I could feel
how clever his knots were.

582
01:01:04,797 --> 01:01:08,462
If I fought them,
they would get tighter,

583
01:01:08,630 --> 01:01:12,545
and as I relaxed,
it seemed they did, too.

584
01:01:12,797 --> 01:01:15,295
Hmm.

585
01:01:15,588 --> 01:01:19,212
Like a cat playing with a mouse.

586
01:01:20,672 --> 01:01:22,963
Fooling it to believe
it has a chance of escape

587
01:01:23,129 --> 01:01:26,587
and then attacking it again.

588
01:01:28,588 --> 01:01:34,170
I don't know
what kind of knot K used,

589
01:01:34,338 --> 01:01:39,587
but I know of a knot that tightens
when force is exerted

590
01:01:39,755 --> 01:01:42,504
and vice versa.
It's called a Prusik knot.

591
01:01:42,672 --> 01:01:45,545
It's after a man called Prusik.

592
01:01:45,713 --> 01:01:47,545
He was a mountain climber,

593
01:01:47,713 --> 01:01:49,379
and he and a friend
were out climbing

594
01:01:49,546 --> 01:01:53,879
and they had an accident,
and his friend died.

595
01:01:54,047 --> 01:01:57,295
And he ended up hanging
at the end of a rope

596
01:01:57,463 --> 01:02:00,963
with no possibility
of getting up.

597
01:02:01,129 --> 01:02:03,754
You know, you can't climb
up a mountain climber rope.

598
01:02:03,922 --> 01:02:05,712
It's too thin.

599
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:09,253
But he was an intelligent man,
and with his back to the wall,

600
01:02:09,421 --> 01:02:11,253
he was a genius.

601
01:02:13,005 --> 01:02:16,212
And he took the shoelaces
out of his boots

602
01:02:16,380 --> 01:02:20,504
and made two loops
and affixed them to the rope.

603
01:02:20,672 --> 01:02:23,004
And he could move these up

604
01:02:23,171 --> 01:02:24,420
when they weren't under tension.

605
01:02:24,588 --> 01:02:26,879
And then he could step into them

606
01:02:27,047 --> 01:02:31,128
and climb the rope
and save himself.

607
01:02:31,296 --> 01:02:33,420
Prusik.

608
01:02:36,046 --> 01:02:39,754
I think this was
one of your weakest digressions.

609
01:02:43,755 --> 01:02:48,337
- May I continue?
- Be my guest.

610
01:02:52,964 --> 01:02:57,045
Tomorrow bring 15 small coins,
all the same.

611
01:02:59,088 --> 01:03:01,045
No more, no less.

612
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:05,212
I sometimes give a Christmas present.

613
01:05:05,963 --> 01:05:09,629
But uh, you have
to do the work yourself.

614
01:05:09,797 --> 01:05:12,504
I'm going to show you how to do it.

615
01:05:27,421 --> 01:05:29,420
This is called a blood knot.

616
01:05:29,588 --> 01:05:33,962
You have to make nine ropes
with three blood knots on each.

617
01:05:34,129 --> 01:05:35,962
Let me see you do it.

618
01:05:36,129 --> 01:05:40,796
You decide whether
to make four, five, or six turns

619
01:05:40,963 --> 01:05:42,962
on the various knots.

620
01:05:54,171 --> 01:05:55,878
Let me see.

621
01:06:03,171 --> 01:06:05,295
That's fine.

622
01:06:05,463 --> 01:06:08,587
If you... if you start with one knot

623
01:06:08,755 --> 01:06:11,504
at the top of the rope,

624
01:06:11,672 --> 01:06:16,462
and then you have to put two
more knots at a distance of...

625
01:06:16,630 --> 01:06:20,754
Well, between 10 and 20
centimeters to be exact,

626
01:06:20,921 --> 01:06:22,504
but the most important thing
with blood knots

627
01:06:22,672 --> 01:06:25,754
on the nine ropes is
that they are placed differently

628
01:06:25,921 --> 01:06:28,295
and that they are staggered.

629
01:06:34,213 --> 01:06:37,045
The cat-o-nine-tails
is often called

630
01:06:37,213 --> 01:06:40,087
the "Captain's Daughter"
aboard ships.

631
01:06:43,963 --> 01:06:46,212
The blood knot is important

632
01:06:46,380 --> 01:06:49,128
because those are the ones
that break the skin and not,

633
01:06:49,755 --> 01:06:55,504
as erroneously thought,
the end of the rope.

634
01:06:55,672 --> 01:07:01,504
A gallows knot is also a kind of
a blood knot with many turns.

635
01:07:01,672 --> 01:07:06,170
The American military standard
demanded five to 15 turns,

636
01:07:06,338 --> 01:07:09,379
as it was the turns placed behind
the left ear of the delinquent

637
01:07:09,546 --> 01:07:12,754
that would break the neck
of the condemned as he fell.

638
01:07:16,296 --> 01:07:18,087
I'll take it from here.

639
01:10:08,629 --> 01:10:10,295
Joe?

640
01:10:12,171 --> 01:10:13,711
Love?

641
01:10:23,754 --> 01:10:25,170
Marcel?

642
01:10:29,004 --> 01:10:30,462
Marcel.

643
01:11:10,254 --> 01:11:13,295
- Are you fond of me still?
- Yes.

644
01:11:13,463 --> 01:11:16,420
More fond of me than the others?

645
01:11:18,380 --> 01:11:21,253
- Yes?
- Yes.

646
01:11:21,421 --> 01:11:25,128
You're not thinking of leaving
again tonight, are you?

647
01:11:25,296 --> 01:11:26,504
- No.
- No?

648
01:11:26,671 --> 01:11:29,128
- No, no. Not at all.
- You sure?

649
01:11:30,712 --> 01:11:31,836
Yeah.

650
01:11:32,004 --> 01:11:34,753
Are you lying to me, Joe?

651
01:11:34,921 --> 01:11:36,795
- No.
- Be honest.

652
01:11:36,963 --> 01:11:41,462
It's all right.
Just fucking say it.

653
01:11:41,629 --> 01:11:43,962
No, I... I just want to be here.

654
01:11:44,129 --> 01:11:45,962
Why?

655
01:11:49,796 --> 01:11:51,628
I don't know.

656
01:11:57,879 --> 01:12:00,962
If you leave tonight,

657
01:12:01,129 --> 01:12:04,670
you'll never see me or Marcel
ever again in your life.

658
01:12:08,338 --> 01:12:10,379
You understand?

659
01:13:26,213 --> 01:13:28,003
Is this goodbye?

660
01:13:31,254 --> 01:13:34,253
Is that what you're saying?

661
01:13:34,420 --> 01:13:35,711
Marcel, get up.

662
01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:38,003
- Stop it.
- Is that what you want?

663
01:13:39,545 --> 01:13:43,170
Yeah, so you could see him.
Look at him, Joe.

664
01:13:48,671 --> 01:13:51,670
Let's face it,
Joe, you're not a mother.

665
01:13:53,712 --> 01:13:55,295
Let's wake him up.

666
01:13:55,462 --> 01:13:59,795
Marcel, baby boy.
Say bye, Mom.

667
01:14:00,963 --> 01:14:03,586
- Please, put him...
- Is this what you want?

668
01:14:07,379 --> 01:14:09,087
You see?

669
01:14:09,254 --> 01:14:12,295
You see, he wants you.

670
01:14:12,462 --> 01:14:14,295
Come.

671
01:14:15,254 --> 01:14:18,337
It's Christmas.
It's fucking Christmas.

672
01:14:41,213 --> 01:14:42,461
What is this?

673
01:14:44,504 --> 01:14:47,753
Today it's Madame who must wait.

674
01:14:56,004 --> 01:14:57,962
Madame, I'm very sorry,

675
01:14:58,129 --> 01:15:01,087
but I have to have a few words
with Fido first.

676
01:15:11,879 --> 01:15:14,503
Your behavior is really
upsetting me today.

677
01:15:25,254 --> 01:15:28,087
I really ought to send you home.

678
01:15:50,004 --> 01:15:52,045
Happy Christmas, Fido.

679
01:16:54,337 --> 01:16:56,962
- I want your cock.
- What did you say?

680
01:16:58,462 --> 01:17:00,003
I want your cock.

681
01:17:00,171 --> 01:17:03,753
No, you don't.
No, you don't.

682
01:17:07,088 --> 01:17:09,252
What's the matter with you today?

683
01:17:30,963 --> 01:17:36,503
On account of the holidays
and your behavior today,

684
01:17:36,671 --> 01:17:38,962
I'm going to give you
the original Roman maximum

685
01:17:39,129 --> 01:17:42,128
of 40 lashes.
Are you ready, Fido?

686
01:17:44,337 --> 01:17:45,878
I'm ready.

687
01:17:51,212 --> 01:17:52,962
One.

688
01:17:55,253 --> 01:17:56,252
Two.

689
01:17:58,545 --> 01:17:59,586
Three.

690
01:18:02,088 --> 01:18:03,544
Four.

691
01:18:04,837 --> 01:18:06,003
Five.

692
01:18:08,295 --> 01:18:09,711
Six.

693
01:18:23,046 --> 01:18:25,419
I'd seen through K's
knot technique,

694
01:18:25,587 --> 01:18:28,087
so I was able to loosen
my position a bit

695
01:18:28,253 --> 01:18:30,920
to move my pelvis
and thereby stimulate

696
01:18:31,088 --> 01:18:33,795
my clitoris against the cover
of the book.

697
01:18:59,170 --> 01:19:00,628
Forty.

698
01:19:11,337 --> 01:19:16,336
And when you came home,
Jerome and the child were gone?

699
01:19:23,170 --> 01:19:26,211
I haven't seen Marcel since.

700
01:19:29,754 --> 01:19:34,336
This sentimentality...
I hate it.

701
01:19:37,587 --> 01:19:41,003
- Why?
- Because it's a lie.

702
01:19:45,295 --> 01:19:47,127
Are you sure?

703
01:19:54,128 --> 01:19:56,127
Jerome understood
that he couldn't prioritize

704
01:19:56,295 --> 01:20:01,002
his life according to a child either,

705
01:20:01,170 --> 01:20:04,127
so he put him in a foster home.

706
01:20:07,045 --> 01:20:09,878
My only contact to the boy
is the thousand pounds

707
01:20:10,045 --> 01:20:12,962
I put in his account every month.

708
01:20:13,128 --> 01:20:14,586
Anonymously.

709
01:20:17,754 --> 01:20:19,962
As a penance.

710
01:20:29,879 --> 01:20:31,086
Every time I leave,

711
01:20:31,253 --> 01:20:35,211
I have this feeling that
when I return, you'll be gone.

712
01:20:39,128 --> 01:20:41,002
And all I can hear
is the cat flap,

713
01:20:41,170 --> 01:20:44,628
swinging back and forth.

714
01:20:47,379 --> 01:20:50,836
Thank you. I didn't know
you had a cat flap.

715
01:20:51,629 --> 01:20:52,836
I used to have a cat,

716
01:20:53,003 --> 01:20:56,336
so I have a cat flap
in the door to the stairwell.

717
01:20:56,504 --> 01:20:58,294
But how did it get outside?

718
01:21:01,337 --> 01:21:05,628
I never thought of that.
I suppose through the basement.

719
01:21:05,796 --> 01:21:07,503
The thing is...

720
01:21:07,671 --> 01:21:10,503
Every time someone opens
the door to the street,

721
01:21:10,671 --> 01:21:13,753
the cat flap squeaks.

722
01:21:13,921 --> 01:21:15,753
There's a lot of drafts
in the house.

723
01:21:17,295 --> 01:21:20,044
It hasn't squeaked yet.

724
01:21:21,045 --> 01:21:24,378
No, there's not many people
coming and going.

725
01:21:24,545 --> 01:21:26,503
That's a bit creepy.

726
01:21:26,671 --> 01:21:29,878
No, I like it.

727
01:21:30,045 --> 01:21:33,919
It's... it's peaceful.

728
01:21:38,587 --> 01:21:43,919
After all this sadness, may I ask
what happened to the silent duck?

729
01:21:44,962 --> 01:21:48,878
Oh, shit. The silent duck.

730
01:21:49,045 --> 01:21:51,795
I'd forgotten all about it.

731
01:21:52,754 --> 01:21:55,503
One night K had been
in what was for him

732
01:21:55,671 --> 01:21:57,586
an unusually good mood.

733
01:21:57,754 --> 01:22:00,252
I don't know what caused it,
but he didn't hit hard,

734
01:22:00,420 --> 01:22:02,544
and he joked that
he would introduce me

735
01:22:02,712 --> 01:22:05,544
to the concept
of the silent duck.

736
01:22:30,796 --> 01:22:34,753
One hardly dare
imagine the quacking duck.

737
01:22:48,045 --> 01:22:50,961
Well, deep down,

738
01:22:51,128 --> 01:22:54,294
little K seems
to have been a jolly man

739
01:22:54,462 --> 01:22:55,670
with versatile talents.

740
01:22:55,836 --> 01:22:59,586
But he got that bit
about Roman punishment

741
01:22:59,754 --> 01:23:02,169
and the 40 lashes wrong.

742
01:23:02,337 --> 01:23:03,961
Because it's true that
the highest punishment

743
01:23:04,128 --> 01:23:09,127
was 40 lashes, but it had to be
delivered in series of three.

744
01:23:09,295 --> 01:23:11,169
That's why Jesus
only got 39 lashes

745
01:23:11,337 --> 01:23:16,961
because three goes
into 39 but not into 40.

746
01:23:19,836 --> 01:23:23,044
Well, I don't know about K
being jolly.

747
01:23:23,212 --> 01:23:25,670
His position as a sadist

748
01:23:25,836 --> 01:23:28,961
wasn't perhaps as enviable
as it might first appear.

749
01:23:29,128 --> 01:23:34,169
Superficially, the sadist
acts as the decider.

750
01:23:35,003 --> 01:23:37,919
But I once had a conversation
with a prostitute,

751
01:23:38,087 --> 01:23:40,544
who had tried all the variations
in her field.

752
01:23:40,712 --> 01:23:42,336
She wasn't surprised by anything.

753
01:23:42,504 --> 01:23:47,378
And she admitted to have only
masochists.

754
01:23:48,295 --> 01:23:49,419
Masochists, for her,

755
01:23:49,587 --> 01:23:52,544
were the most demanding
and the most ungrateful.

756
01:23:53,504 --> 01:23:55,919
First, she were
to deduce their desire

757
01:23:56,087 --> 01:23:57,794
by reading their thoughts,

758
01:23:57,962 --> 01:24:01,919
then perform without
any alteration from the norm,

759
01:24:02,087 --> 01:24:05,252
and after which,
unlike other clients

760
01:24:05,420 --> 01:24:08,753
and the most honorable sadists,
for example,

761
01:24:08,920 --> 01:24:10,835
you never received any thanks,

762
01:24:11,753 --> 01:24:14,544
let alone gifts or flowers.

763
01:24:19,170 --> 01:24:21,961
I never went
in that direction again,

764
01:24:22,128 --> 01:24:24,586
neither back to K or masochism.

765
01:24:34,878 --> 01:24:37,586
But I took the orgasm with me.

766
01:24:39,003 --> 01:24:43,544
You yet have to show me one
single example of maliciousness.

767
01:24:44,337 --> 01:24:46,752
But that's all I'm doing!

768
01:24:46,920 --> 01:24:49,711
It's as if you want
to misunderstand me.

769
01:24:49,878 --> 01:24:53,503
You keep inventing
complicated and false excuses

770
01:24:53,671 --> 01:24:56,127
for my despicable
and selfish actions.

771
01:24:58,379 --> 01:25:00,169
During the time
when our relationship

772
01:25:00,337 --> 01:25:03,127
was going downhill,
Jerome really tried his best.

773
01:25:06,337 --> 01:25:07,919
I bought you something.

774
01:25:08,087 --> 01:25:09,835
- You bought me something?
- I'm sure you'll love it.

775
01:25:11,462 --> 01:25:14,294
- Wow, it's a ring.
- Yeah.

776
01:25:15,337 --> 01:25:16,378
It's beautiful.

777
01:25:16,545 --> 01:25:19,670
It was impossible
for me to work out Jerome's income.

778
01:25:19,836 --> 01:25:23,710
Sometimes he had lots of money
and other times none,

779
01:25:23,878 --> 01:25:25,127
which I later thought perhaps

780
01:25:25,295 --> 01:25:28,586
meant that his work
was not entirely above board.

781
01:25:28,753 --> 01:25:31,835
But this time
he'd really gone all out.

782
01:25:32,003 --> 01:25:36,544
- That must've been so expensive.
- Well, it wasn't cheap.

783
01:25:36,711 --> 01:25:38,794
- Best craftsmanship.
- Hmm.

784
01:25:38,962 --> 01:25:41,169
I'll guarantee you that.

785
01:25:41,337 --> 01:25:43,752
Let's play a game, then.

786
01:25:43,920 --> 01:25:46,169
- A game?
- Mm-hmm. Get up.

787
01:25:46,337 --> 01:25:47,419
Okay.

788
01:25:47,587 --> 01:25:49,794
- It's called "Cinderella".
- I don't know it.

789
01:25:49,962 --> 01:25:51,835
- You will.
- Okay.

790
01:25:52,003 --> 01:25:53,877
- Right.
- No, you don't touch it.

791
01:25:54,045 --> 01:25:55,586
- Okay.
- You just look at it.

792
01:25:58,045 --> 01:25:59,835
Okay? Are you ready?

793
01:26:01,379 --> 01:26:03,002
- Yes.
- Steady.

794
01:26:03,170 --> 01:26:05,461
Steady.

795
01:26:05,629 --> 01:26:07,378
- Go.
- Fuck! Joe!

796
01:26:07,545 --> 01:26:08,752
Come on, Cinderella.

797
01:26:08,920 --> 01:26:11,378
- Oh, fuck.
- Come on, come on.

798
01:26:11,545 --> 01:26:14,835
Joe! For fuck's sake.

799
01:26:15,003 --> 01:26:17,169
- Move!
- Cinderella, Cinderella!

800
01:26:17,337 --> 01:26:20,419
Fuck! Are you mad, Joe?

801
01:26:21,295 --> 01:26:24,127
Are you fucking mad?
Fuck! Fuck.

802
01:26:24,295 --> 01:26:27,211
L7,000, Joe!

803
01:26:28,962 --> 01:26:30,378
Did he find it?

804
01:26:30,545 --> 01:26:35,419
Oh yes, and returned it
and got all his money back.

805
01:26:35,587 --> 01:26:40,169
So can you call this game
anything other than malicious?

806
01:26:45,045 --> 01:26:47,710
Let me chew on that for a while.

807
01:26:51,670 --> 01:26:54,752
So it wasn't the diamond that
you're wearing around your neck?

808
01:26:54,920 --> 01:26:58,211
No. But that was a gift, too.

809
01:26:58,379 --> 01:27:00,294
But I have to be honest and say

810
01:27:00,462 --> 01:27:03,252
I can't remember the person
who gave it to me.

811
01:27:04,212 --> 01:27:07,169
I've always been in...
in the theoretical way, of course,

812
01:27:07,337 --> 01:27:09,336
interested in diamonds
and their cuts.

813
01:27:09,504 --> 01:27:12,378
The word "brilliant"
refers to the cut.

814
01:27:12,545 --> 01:27:15,294
Diamond is the stone.

815
01:27:17,170 --> 01:27:19,252
If we use the word "divine"
in connection

816
01:27:19,420 --> 01:27:21,503
with the Golden Section
and Fibonacci,

817
01:27:21,670 --> 01:27:23,794
the brilliant cut is nothing less.

818
01:27:24,545 --> 01:27:27,710
It's a frighteningly refined cut.

819
01:27:27,878 --> 01:27:30,461
Fifty-seven facets.

820
01:27:30,628 --> 01:27:33,794
The theory is that the light
enters through the top plane,

821
01:27:33,962 --> 01:27:38,211
which is called the table
or in some languages the mirror,

822
01:27:38,379 --> 01:27:42,503
and then inside the diamond
is refracted in all the facets

823
01:27:42,670 --> 01:27:44,503
and thrown out the same way,

824
01:27:44,670 --> 01:27:49,669
creating a absolutely unique
light effect.

825
01:27:51,711 --> 01:27:55,503
So, it's called a mirror.
I didn't know that.

826
01:27:56,711 --> 01:27:58,503
You have a mirror, too.

827
01:28:00,962 --> 01:28:02,669
Yeah.

828
01:28:02,836 --> 01:28:05,252
It's like a thought, isn't it?

829
01:28:34,878 --> 01:28:36,127
Some years later,

830
01:28:36,295 --> 01:28:39,502
the bodily abuse
began to have an effect.

831
01:28:39,753 --> 01:28:43,002
First, rare bleedings
from my clitoris,

832
01:28:43,170 --> 01:28:46,543
but then they became
more and more frequent.

833
01:28:56,253 --> 01:28:57,835
Come in.

834
01:29:01,461 --> 01:29:05,169
But I really need my salary.

835
01:29:05,337 --> 01:29:06,919
I know.

836
01:29:08,295 --> 01:29:10,835
And I'd like to help you.

837
01:29:11,670 --> 01:29:14,919
Have you heard any
of the rumors about yourself?

838
01:29:18,503 --> 01:29:21,169
They say you see men
every evening

839
01:29:24,295 --> 01:29:27,044
and spend all night with them.

840
01:29:27,212 --> 01:29:30,460
They say you can't be trusted,
all of them.

841
01:29:32,878 --> 01:29:35,086
Why do they say that?

842
01:29:37,003 --> 01:29:39,627
I suppose they're afraid
that I...

843
01:29:39,795 --> 01:29:43,294
I can't keep away
from their men.

844
01:29:45,419 --> 01:29:48,294
Right. And can you?

845
01:29:49,503 --> 01:29:50,919
No.

846
01:29:54,003 --> 01:29:56,502
I've spoken with a psychologist.

847
01:29:57,836 --> 01:29:59,710
He says you're addicted,

848
01:29:59,878 --> 01:30:02,460
but that it's not the kind of
addiction that can't be treated.

849
01:30:03,170 --> 01:30:06,169
They have some groups.

850
01:30:06,337 --> 01:30:08,835
I know about these kinds
of groups.

851
01:30:09,003 --> 01:30:12,044
I don't have anything
to say to a psychologist.

852
01:30:12,212 --> 01:30:15,211
I'm not suggesting therapy.
I'm demanding it.

853
01:30:16,670 --> 01:30:18,794
Even if you leave us,
it'll be the same at your next job

854
01:30:18,962 --> 01:30:21,418
and the one after that.

855
01:30:26,378 --> 01:30:28,835
Why didn't you want to speak
with a psychologist?

856
01:30:30,378 --> 01:30:33,669
It's an old story.
I just don't like them.

857
01:30:36,962 --> 01:30:38,835
Well, if you insist
that I try to understand,

858
01:30:39,003 --> 01:30:41,127
then you have
to tell me that story as well.

859
01:30:41,295 --> 01:30:43,585
The old story.

860
01:30:44,753 --> 01:30:47,669
Okay. Okay.

861
01:30:47,836 --> 01:30:50,252
It's not that old after all.

862
01:30:51,003 --> 01:30:55,502
It was about a year after
I'd lost Marcel and Jerome.

863
01:31:02,628 --> 01:31:04,002
Okay.

864
01:31:05,336 --> 01:31:08,086
I'd been careless
with my birth control pills before,

865
01:31:08,253 --> 01:31:10,794
and now I just didn't use them.

866
01:31:11,003 --> 01:31:12,961
Didn't the
whole experience with Marcel

867
01:31:13,128 --> 01:31:16,086
convince you that there was no
room for children in your life?

868
01:31:16,253 --> 01:31:17,877
That's right.

869
01:31:22,628 --> 01:31:24,835
I know it sounds
incomprehensible,

870
01:31:25,003 --> 01:31:27,502
but actually, it was because
of my crippling fear

871
01:31:27,670 --> 01:31:30,794
of becoming pregnant
that I didn't take the pills.

872
01:31:30,962 --> 01:31:33,002
It's probably impossible
to understand.

873
01:31:33,170 --> 01:31:36,752
No, it makes sense to me.

874
01:31:36,920 --> 01:31:39,044
You were so afraid
of getting pregnant

875
01:31:39,212 --> 01:31:42,627
that you repressed
the possibility of it.

876
01:31:42,795 --> 01:31:46,044
You couldn't even handle
seeing the box of pills.

877
01:31:51,628 --> 01:31:53,086
Okay.

878
01:31:58,503 --> 01:32:00,377
Would you turn it down?

879
01:32:03,045 --> 01:32:05,669
If you look at the screen
you can see your child,

880
01:32:05,836 --> 01:32:07,585
but I can't tell you
the gender yet.

881
01:32:07,753 --> 01:32:10,335
I don't give a shit
about the gender.

882
01:32:10,503 --> 01:32:11,919
I want it removed.

883
01:32:14,962 --> 01:32:18,377
Okay. Uh, you're in week eleven.

884
01:32:18,544 --> 01:32:23,086
So legally, there are
no barriers for an abortion.

885
01:32:23,253 --> 01:32:26,127
Yes, I know that.
Just remove it.

886
01:32:26,294 --> 01:32:30,627
Well, we have some procedures
to follow.

887
01:32:30,795 --> 01:32:32,418
There's nothing more
to talk about.

888
01:32:32,586 --> 01:32:34,627
I can have it removed.
I want it removed.

889
01:32:34,795 --> 01:32:37,835
It is a very big decision,
best not made in haste.

890
01:32:38,003 --> 01:32:40,710
Didn't you understand
what I just said?

891
01:32:40,878 --> 01:32:43,251
Okay, there's
an informative consultation

892
01:32:43,419 --> 01:32:46,794
with our psychologist before
you can have the procedure.

893
01:32:55,753 --> 01:32:58,169
You didn't really fill out the form.

894
01:32:58,336 --> 01:33:00,251
Maybe you didn't have time,

895
01:33:00,419 --> 01:33:05,460
uh, so I will need
to ask a few more questions.

896
01:33:05,628 --> 01:33:09,169
What's the most important thing
in your life right now?

897
01:33:09,336 --> 01:33:13,418
It could be many things,
your family, your friends, your...

898
01:33:13,586 --> 01:33:15,710
The most important thing
for me right now

899
01:33:15,878 --> 01:33:18,002
is to get an abortion.

900
01:33:19,795 --> 01:33:22,835
Yes. Well, that's what
we're going to resolve together.

901
01:33:25,211 --> 01:33:27,669
I need some information.

902
01:33:30,294 --> 01:33:32,127
Do you love the father?

903
01:33:32,294 --> 01:33:35,585
That's none of your business.

904
01:33:35,753 --> 01:33:41,002
Well, it is my business
because I'm here to form

905
01:33:41,170 --> 01:33:43,919
an impression
of your circumstances.

906
01:33:44,087 --> 01:33:45,877
That's my job.

907
01:33:46,045 --> 01:33:47,835
Okay, so what would you
most like me

908
01:33:48,003 --> 01:33:51,502
to answer about the father in order
to get the fucking abortion?

909
01:33:51,670 --> 01:33:54,418
That I love him,
or that I don't love him?

910
01:33:54,586 --> 01:33:59,127
Or that I... I don't know him
because I fuck tons of men?

911
01:34:04,419 --> 01:34:07,377
I, uh, see that
you were emotional

912
01:34:07,544 --> 01:34:09,752
during the doctor's examination.

913
01:34:09,920 --> 01:34:12,044
I think you're emotional.

914
01:34:12,211 --> 01:34:16,251
Please, listen. This is what we call
an informative consultation.

915
01:34:16,419 --> 01:34:18,460
What is it I need
to be informed of?

916
01:34:18,628 --> 01:34:20,669
That you can't
stuff the kid back inside?

917
01:34:20,836 --> 01:34:23,335
I already know that.

918
01:34:24,586 --> 01:34:26,710
I just need to be certain

919
01:34:26,878 --> 01:34:29,086
that you're completely sure
about your choice,

920
01:34:29,252 --> 01:34:32,418
and my professional opinion
based on your behavior

921
01:34:32,586 --> 01:34:33,835
is that clearly you're not.

922
01:34:34,003 --> 01:34:36,168
I've never been more sure
in my life.

923
01:34:36,336 --> 01:34:38,919
I want that fetus out right now.

924
01:34:39,087 --> 01:34:42,335
And as a professional, I cannot
defend recommending an abortion

925
01:34:42,503 --> 01:34:43,585
based on this conversation.

926
01:34:43,753 --> 01:34:47,752
I've already had a kid!
I know what I want!

927
01:34:47,920 --> 01:34:49,293
Fuck you.

928
01:34:56,003 --> 01:34:58,877
There were,
of course, many ways to do it.

929
01:34:59,045 --> 01:35:01,669
But I had chosen to follow
the common medical procedure

930
01:35:01,836 --> 01:35:04,627
I had learnt
while studying medicine,

931
01:35:04,795 --> 01:35:06,919
as it was of great importance
for me

932
01:35:07,087 --> 01:35:10,418
to get the fetus out straight away
rather than wait for it

933
01:35:10,586 --> 01:35:13,502
to be expelled
a couple of days later.

934
01:36:36,628 --> 01:36:39,502
Clearly, the most painful part

935
01:36:39,670 --> 01:36:42,543
would be the gradual opening
of the cervix,

936
01:36:42,711 --> 01:36:47,001
which otherwise was always done
under anesthesia.

937
01:39:12,252 --> 01:39:14,418
Say something, Pierrot.

938
01:39:16,378 --> 01:39:17,460
What do you mean?

939
01:39:17,628 --> 01:39:20,418
Well, you always have
so many clever things to say.

940
01:39:26,252 --> 01:39:29,669
Well, I... I feel bad for you

941
01:39:29,835 --> 01:39:31,710
that you had to cause yourself
so much pain.

942
01:39:38,127 --> 01:39:42,543
But the... the abortion
is completely understandable.

943
01:39:42,711 --> 01:39:43,834
You simply thought the child

944
01:39:44,002 --> 01:39:46,460
wouldn't have
a life worth living, so...

945
01:39:47,086 --> 01:39:49,085
Yeah, but the abortion in itself.

946
01:39:49,252 --> 01:39:52,043
- Abortion is not murder.
- Oh, come on.

947
01:39:52,211 --> 01:39:56,126
Don't fall back on false clichés
just for my sake.

948
01:39:56,294 --> 01:39:59,001
I ask again,
what about the abortion?

949
01:39:59,169 --> 01:40:00,293
I have no comment.

950
01:40:00,461 --> 01:40:03,460
I'm a big proponent
for abortion rights,

951
01:40:03,628 --> 01:40:06,210
but this is 100% female territory.

952
01:40:06,378 --> 01:40:08,627
I don't believe a man
can ever comprehend

953
01:40:08,794 --> 01:40:11,377
the situation or the pain.

954
01:40:11,544 --> 01:40:15,502
And when it comes to the method,
I think the less said, the better.

955
01:40:15,670 --> 01:40:18,627
Those are two
very interesting points of view.

956
01:40:18,794 --> 01:40:21,627
First, you say that as a man,

957
01:40:21,794 --> 01:40:23,918
you can't understand
a woman's feelings

958
01:40:24,086 --> 01:40:26,585
with regard to abortion.

959
01:40:26,753 --> 01:40:29,669
Well, that's a bit like saying
that I couldn't understand

960
01:40:29,835 --> 01:40:32,585
the victims of earthquakes
because they were Chinese.

961
01:40:34,127 --> 01:40:36,918
I thought we agreed that empathy

962
01:40:37,086 --> 01:40:39,834
was the foundation
of all humanism.

963
01:40:40,002 --> 01:40:42,918
But I can see that it's very
convenient for men

964
01:40:43,086 --> 01:40:46,168
to leave all that abortion
stuff to women.

965
01:40:46,336 --> 01:40:47,960
That way they don't have
to deal with the guilt

966
01:40:48,127 --> 01:40:51,085
and all of the small stuff.

967
01:40:51,252 --> 01:40:53,834
But your other remark
provokes me even more.

968
01:40:54,002 --> 01:40:57,335
You think my method
is not worth discussing?

969
01:40:59,419 --> 01:41:03,001
What enjoyment would I,
or let alone a young pregnant girl,

970
01:41:03,169 --> 01:41:04,960
have from hearing
all the lurid details

971
01:41:05,127 --> 01:41:09,210
about how a fetus is removed
in a clinic or any other way?

972
01:41:11,252 --> 01:41:13,043
Well, then,
we're back at the discussion

973
01:41:13,211 --> 01:41:15,751
about eating something
that was once alive.

974
01:41:15,919 --> 01:41:19,793
Do you really think
abortion is so repugnant

975
01:41:19,961 --> 01:41:21,543
if you believe
that we should know

976
01:41:21,711 --> 01:41:25,210
how animals are slaughtered
in order to eat them?

977
01:41:25,378 --> 01:41:27,377
Well, that's a fact
we have to live with,

978
01:41:27,544 --> 01:41:29,669
even if we try to repress it.

979
01:41:29,835 --> 01:41:31,251
Just as we do with abortion.

980
01:41:31,419 --> 01:41:34,251
Well, you sound
like a pro-lifer from Texas.

981
01:41:35,961 --> 01:41:37,585
I don't think so.

982
01:41:38,419 --> 01:41:41,126
First of all, I'm just
as much a pro-choice as you are.

983
01:41:41,294 --> 01:41:42,669
But on principle,

984
01:41:42,835 --> 01:41:46,751
I believe that taboos
are damaging for human beings.

985
01:41:47,794 --> 01:41:50,585
That's a relatively easy stance
for you to take.

986
01:41:53,544 --> 01:41:56,627
One that can be misconstrued
as a...

987
01:41:56,794 --> 01:41:59,627
as an argument
against pregnancy termination.

988
01:42:01,919 --> 01:42:03,460
I don't want
to belittle anything,

989
01:42:03,628 --> 01:42:07,043
but I can't see your abortion
as anything but a...

990
01:42:08,294 --> 01:42:09,918
luxury problem.

991
01:42:13,336 --> 01:42:15,502
A luxury problem?

992
01:42:15,669 --> 01:42:18,876
The really serious,
serious abortions,

993
01:42:19,044 --> 01:42:24,126
the ones that save lives,
far from our social spheres,

994
01:42:24,294 --> 01:42:25,960
you can't endanger them
just because you

995
01:42:26,127 --> 01:42:28,793
provocatively insist
on showing the gory details.

996
01:42:30,127 --> 01:42:33,627
Consider all the millions
of repressed women,

997
01:42:33,794 --> 01:42:38,335
the victims of rape
and incest, hunger.

998
01:42:38,503 --> 01:42:41,502
All those who,
maybe thanks to an abortion,

999
01:42:41,669 --> 01:42:42,709
have regained a new life,

1000
01:42:42,877 --> 01:42:46,709
maybe saved a child
from starving to death.

1001
01:42:46,877 --> 01:42:51,876
You can't harm them just because
of some principle of openness.

1002
01:42:55,044 --> 01:42:59,793
Luckily, I was able to get the head
of the fetus out on the first try,

1003
01:42:59,961 --> 01:43:01,751
but it rarely goes like that.

1004
01:43:01,919 --> 01:43:05,377
In the 12th week,
the diameter of the head

1005
01:43:05,544 --> 01:43:08,543
is a little more than
1.2 centimeters.

1006
01:43:08,710 --> 01:43:11,293
Therefore,
a very impressive instrument

1007
01:43:11,461 --> 01:43:13,335
has been developed
by the medical community.

1008
01:43:13,503 --> 01:43:16,210
The nutcracker is an instrument

1009
01:43:16,378 --> 01:43:20,168
that we use to get the fetus
out of the uterus completely.

1010
01:43:20,336 --> 01:43:24,543
We enter it into and through
the dilated cervical channel

1011
01:43:24,710 --> 01:43:27,126
and position it around the head
of the fetus,

1012
01:43:27,294 --> 01:43:30,377
and you crack it like a nut,

1013
01:43:30,544 --> 01:43:33,251
and then you pull out the fetus,
and there you have it.

1014
01:43:33,419 --> 01:43:36,001
That is the so-called nutcracker.

1015
01:43:36,169 --> 01:43:38,584
This is not something I need to know.

1016
01:43:39,919 --> 01:43:42,043
Oh, I hope you're not going

1017
01:43:42,211 --> 01:43:46,085
to be an opponent of abortion
based on that.

1018
01:43:46,252 --> 01:43:49,709
No, but you have to think
of the outrage

1019
01:43:49,877 --> 01:43:52,793
this knowledge would create
in society.

1020
01:43:52,961 --> 01:43:56,709
So, you're saying that people
in general are too stupid

1021
01:43:56,877 --> 01:44:01,043
to make decisions
on an informed basis.

1022
01:44:01,211 --> 01:44:05,418
And that coming from a man
who only an hour ago sermonized

1023
01:44:05,585 --> 01:44:07,960
about his belief
in human qualities.

1024
01:44:08,127 --> 01:44:11,001
No, you... you're simplifying things.

1025
01:44:11,169 --> 01:44:14,126
You can't look at it like that.

1026
01:44:14,294 --> 01:44:16,709
It's funny to see you
so emotional suddenly.

1027
01:44:21,627 --> 01:44:24,126
Looking back,
it rankles me a bit

1028
01:44:24,294 --> 01:44:28,460
that I didn't just
show up all calm and collected

1029
01:44:28,627 --> 01:44:32,001
at the appointment
with the psychologist

1030
01:44:32,169 --> 01:44:34,751
and have my abortion
under full anesthesia.

1031
01:44:34,919 --> 01:44:38,377
The fact is that when
you're completely under,

1032
01:44:38,543 --> 01:44:41,210
the fetus doesn't feel
anything either,

1033
01:44:41,378 --> 01:44:45,418
whereas my action, of course,
caused pain,

1034
01:44:45,585 --> 01:44:47,460
depending on how much consciousness

1035
01:44:47,627 --> 01:44:52,377
you want to ascribe
to a fetus about 12 weeks old.

1036
01:44:52,543 --> 01:44:55,085
I'm a bit nervous
about bringing that subject up,

1037
01:44:55,252 --> 01:44:57,542
as most of the abortions
in the world,

1038
01:44:57,710 --> 01:44:59,668
due to lack of resources,

1039
01:44:59,835 --> 01:45:03,960
occur just under
local anesthesia or none.

1040
01:45:06,002 --> 01:45:08,793
Well, you're a careful man.

1041
01:45:09,794 --> 01:45:13,960
Whether we talk about abortion
or not, you can't escape death,

1042
01:45:14,127 --> 01:45:18,043
and my fetus could have turned
out to be a fine human being,

1043
01:45:18,211 --> 01:45:21,834
but one that would
also eventually die.

1044
01:45:25,461 --> 01:45:27,876
What haunts me
is the ironic detail

1045
01:45:28,044 --> 01:45:30,834
that my father and I
were snail-gatherers.

1046
01:45:34,086 --> 01:45:38,251
We had the deepest compassion,
not to say sentimentality,

1047
01:45:38,419 --> 01:45:41,501
about the smallest living things
on the planet

1048
01:45:41,669 --> 01:45:43,960
which we demonstrated
by saving snails,

1049
01:45:44,127 --> 01:45:47,626
often, by the way,
the same size as my fetus,

1050
01:45:47,794 --> 01:45:50,501
from certain death on the path.

1051
01:45:50,669 --> 01:45:54,126
We did that only
when the other one wasn't watching,

1052
01:45:54,294 --> 01:45:56,459
as it was a bit embarrassing.

1053
01:45:57,835 --> 01:46:00,293
Are you picking up snails?

1054
01:46:01,585 --> 01:46:03,251
No.

1055
01:46:05,127 --> 01:46:06,626
Are you sure you weren't
picking up snails?

1056
01:46:06,794 --> 01:46:08,418
- Yeah.
- You're sure?

1057
01:46:08,585 --> 01:46:10,668
Yeah.

1058
01:46:13,044 --> 01:46:16,918
- Shall we drop the subject?
- Yes, please.

1059
01:46:17,086 --> 01:46:19,168
Are you sure
you don't want a little tour

1060
01:46:19,336 --> 01:46:21,210
of the technical details

1061
01:46:21,378 --> 01:46:24,043
of removal of organs
for organ donations?

1062
01:46:24,211 --> 01:46:26,626
No, thank you. I'm fine.

1063
01:46:29,294 --> 01:46:30,293
Where were we?

1064
01:46:31,211 --> 01:46:35,293
I think something about your boss
sending you to see a psychologist.

1065
01:46:35,460 --> 01:46:37,293
Yes, that's right.

1066
01:46:42,710 --> 01:46:45,251
- My name is Joe.
- Hi, Joe.

1067
01:46:45,418 --> 01:46:49,417
- And I'm a nymphomaniac.
- Sex addict.

1068
01:46:49,585 --> 01:46:52,168
My name is Joe,
and I'm a nymphomaniac.

1069
01:46:52,336 --> 01:46:55,709
We say sex addict.
Here, everyone's the same.

1070
01:47:00,460 --> 01:47:04,751
Renée, last time you
told us you had a plan.

1071
01:47:04,919 --> 01:47:06,793
How did it go?

1072
01:47:06,961 --> 01:47:11,085
I thought of trying something new,
as nothing had helped.

1073
01:47:12,585 --> 01:47:16,168
I thought if I overdosed...

1074
01:47:16,336 --> 01:47:18,542
in other words,
if I did the exact opposite

1075
01:47:18,710 --> 01:47:21,043
of what we are trying
to do here,

1076
01:47:21,211 --> 01:47:22,626
then I could get well.

1077
01:47:22,794 --> 01:47:25,251
You mean function normally.

1078
01:47:25,418 --> 01:47:28,668
I had prepared
the whole thing very carefully.

1079
01:47:28,835 --> 01:47:31,876
Sent my husband away
for the weekend

1080
01:47:32,044 --> 01:47:35,876
and had the children
taken care of.

1081
01:47:36,044 --> 01:47:38,043
It was to happen on the Saturday.

1082
01:47:40,377 --> 01:47:45,459
I had... I had collected
phone numbers for a whole month,

1083
01:47:45,627 --> 01:47:48,626
and then back in the coal.

1084
01:48:27,543 --> 01:48:30,834
They fucked me for three hours.

1085
01:48:31,127 --> 01:48:34,126
And how did
you feel about that?

1086
01:48:34,293 --> 01:48:37,210
Well, I never feel good afterwards.
I feel ashamed.

1087
01:48:38,293 --> 01:48:40,709
But in relation to...
to your addiction,

1088
01:48:40,877 --> 01:48:43,668
do you feel relieved
like you thought you would?

1089
01:48:46,377 --> 01:48:47,542
No.

1090
01:48:49,044 --> 01:48:52,918
What should I do?
I'm ready to do what's necessary.

1091
01:48:53,086 --> 01:48:55,918
Sex addiction
is very different from,

1092
01:48:56,086 --> 01:48:58,709
say, abuse of drugs or alcohol

1093
01:48:58,877 --> 01:49:01,459
because you don't actually need
either of those things.

1094
01:49:01,627 --> 01:49:03,751
These addictions can
be completely removed

1095
01:49:03,919 --> 01:49:08,376
by removing the drug or the alcohol,
not that that's easy.

1096
01:49:08,543 --> 01:49:11,085
But the difference
with sex addiction

1097
01:49:11,251 --> 01:49:14,334
is that everyone has a sexuality

1098
01:49:14,502 --> 01:49:17,085
that's an integral part
of their personality.

1099
01:49:18,961 --> 01:49:24,126
If one could
imagine exterminating sexuality,

1100
01:49:24,293 --> 01:49:26,376
then you'd be left
with a severely reduced person

1101
01:49:26,543 --> 01:49:31,001
because... because sexuality
also includes tenderness,

1102
01:49:31,169 --> 01:49:34,668
contact, solidarity with others,

1103
01:49:34,835 --> 01:49:37,960
which would be hard to imagine
anyone living without on some level.

1104
01:49:39,585 --> 01:49:43,250
What you're saying is that no one
can remove their sexuality,

1105
01:49:43,418 --> 01:49:45,709
even though it's destroying
everything for them.

1106
01:49:45,877 --> 01:49:47,751
I wouldn't say no one,

1107
01:49:47,919 --> 01:49:50,584
but let's say, at most,
one in a million

1108
01:49:50,752 --> 01:49:53,542
manage to live a life
without sexuality.

1109
01:49:53,710 --> 01:49:57,376
But you can't be basing your therapy
on that one in a million.

1110
01:49:57,543 --> 01:50:00,960
No. The first
and most important step

1111
01:50:01,127 --> 01:50:04,876
is to remove incentive
and to reduce exposure.

1112
01:50:06,502 --> 01:50:08,292
You have to ask yourself

1113
01:50:08,460 --> 01:50:11,501
what kind of incentives you have
and then make it difficult

1114
01:50:11,669 --> 01:50:13,417
for yourself to come
into contact with them.

1115
01:50:13,585 --> 01:50:17,459
Basically, anything that
makes you think about sex.

1116
01:52:25,919 --> 01:52:28,084
Stop it.

1117
01:52:32,210 --> 01:52:35,292
Joe has something
she'd like to share.

1118
01:52:36,543 --> 01:52:38,960
- My name is Joe.
- Hi, Joe.

1119
01:52:39,126 --> 01:52:40,918
And I'm a sex addict,

1120
01:52:41,085 --> 01:52:45,376
but I haven't had sex
for three weeks and five days.

1121
01:52:48,585 --> 01:52:49,668
Tell us how you did it, Joe.

1122
01:52:49,835 --> 01:52:52,960
- You brought notes?
- Yes.

1123
01:52:58,293 --> 01:53:03,334
Dear everyone,
don't think it's been easy,

1124
01:53:03,502 --> 01:53:07,001
but I understand now
that we are all alike.

1125
01:53:22,043 --> 01:53:26,417
- Are you okay, Joe?
- Yes, yes.

1126
01:53:30,835 --> 01:53:32,793
Would you like
a glass of water?

1127
01:53:35,502 --> 01:53:37,084
Thank you.

1128
01:53:45,835 --> 01:53:47,960
Would you rather share another time?

1129
01:53:53,752 --> 01:53:56,125
No, I'd like to speak.

1130
01:54:01,168 --> 01:54:06,417
Dear everyone,
don't think it's been easy,

1131
01:54:06,585 --> 01:54:08,793
but I understand now

1132
01:54:08,960 --> 01:54:12,959
that we're not
and never will be alike.

1133
01:54:15,210 --> 01:54:19,918
I'm not like you,
who fucks to be validated

1134
01:54:20,085 --> 01:54:22,626
and might just as well give up
putting cocks inside you.

1135
01:54:22,794 --> 01:54:26,459
You already got your bloody kick
a long time ago

1136
01:54:26,627 --> 01:54:29,209
when it turned out that someone
was even bothered to fuck you.

1137
01:54:29,377 --> 01:54:31,250
And I'm not like you.

1138
01:54:31,418 --> 01:54:33,292
Eat yourself to death
if you want.

1139
01:54:33,460 --> 01:54:35,542
I have no pity for you.

1140
01:54:35,710 --> 01:54:37,417
All you want is to be filled up,

1141
01:54:37,585 --> 01:54:42,584
and whether it's by a man
or by tons of disgusting slop

1142
01:54:42,752 --> 01:54:44,668
makes no difference,

1143
01:54:44,835 --> 01:54:47,042
because it's all just
a pathetic attempt

1144
01:54:47,210 --> 01:54:50,125
at filling out
your own resounding emptiness

1145
01:54:50,293 --> 01:54:55,125
and hiding your ridiculous
egocentric self-loathing.

1146
01:54:55,293 --> 01:54:57,793
And I'm definitely not like you.

1147
01:54:57,960 --> 01:55:02,125
That empathy you claim is a lie

1148
01:55:02,293 --> 01:55:06,334
because all you are
is society's morality police,

1149
01:55:06,502 --> 01:55:11,626
whose duty is to erase my obscenity
from the surface of the Earth,

1150
01:55:11,794 --> 01:55:14,626
so that the bourgeoisie
won't feel sick.

1151
01:55:17,835 --> 01:55:19,501
I'm not like you.

1152
01:55:20,710 --> 01:55:25,459
I am a nymphomaniac,
and I love myself for being one,

1153
01:55:25,627 --> 01:55:30,000
but above all, I love my cunt

1154
01:55:30,168 --> 01:55:33,292
and my filthy, dirty lust.

1155
01:55:38,335 --> 01:55:42,209
"Burning Down the House") #

1156
01:55:56,627 --> 01:55:58,751
What just happened?

1157
01:55:58,918 --> 01:56:02,959
I didn't get that,
with the car that burned.

1158
01:56:03,126 --> 01:56:04,709
No, I'm sorry.

1159
01:56:04,876 --> 01:56:08,501
I was just in too much of
a hurry to get to the last chapter.

1160
01:56:18,543 --> 01:56:20,542
It's dawning.

1161
01:56:20,710 --> 01:56:23,334
How can you tell?

1162
01:56:23,502 --> 01:56:26,250
Oh, it's...
it's just a slight coloring.

1163
01:56:26,418 --> 01:56:29,833
I know because I've stood here
so often at this time.

1164
01:56:31,210 --> 01:56:33,542
You could say
I've developed an ability

1165
01:56:33,710 --> 01:56:37,501
to see dawn before everyone else.

1166
01:56:41,168 --> 01:56:44,000
Then you understand
what I mean when I say

1167
01:56:44,168 --> 01:56:48,417
that twilight suddenly appeared
at this point in my story.

1168
01:56:50,168 --> 01:56:53,792
I understood that society
had no room for me,

1169
01:56:53,960 --> 01:56:58,501
and I had no room for society
and never had.

1170
01:57:00,251 --> 01:57:02,542
It would've been much, much easier

1171
01:57:02,710 --> 01:57:04,959
to have realized that earlier on,

1172
01:57:05,126 --> 01:57:08,292
but suddenly,

1173
01:57:08,460 --> 01:57:11,209
my senses unfolded dramatically.

1174
01:57:13,043 --> 01:57:17,042
To go from the respectable
daylight side of society

1175
01:57:17,210 --> 01:57:19,584
to the shady, nocturnal side

1176
01:57:20,460 --> 01:57:22,668
was like changing sides in a war.

1177
01:57:23,752 --> 01:57:26,209
You put your old army behind you,

1178
01:57:26,377 --> 01:57:29,750
and suddenly, the next second,
you're swallowed by the new one.

1179
01:57:29,918 --> 01:57:32,292
There's no in between.

1180
01:57:46,377 --> 01:57:48,376
I'm sure it was quite natural for you

1181
01:57:48,543 --> 01:57:50,875
to furnish your room
as a monk's cell,

1182
01:57:51,043 --> 01:57:55,542
but as an inspiration
for this story, chapter headings

1183
01:57:55,710 --> 01:57:57,833
hasn't been easy.

1184
01:57:58,001 --> 01:58:01,084
There's simply nothing
left for me to use.

1185
01:58:02,669 --> 01:58:04,668
Well, I'm sorry about that.

1186
01:58:06,001 --> 01:58:08,542
But if I may,
I can give you a tip.

1187
01:58:09,918 --> 01:58:11,792
Yes, please.

1188
01:58:11,960 --> 01:58:14,668
You know, I occupy myself
mostly with texts,

1189
01:58:14,834 --> 01:58:18,167
but sometimes the text can seem so...

1190
01:58:18,335 --> 01:58:22,209
so empty, so unfathomably empty.

1191
01:58:22,377 --> 01:58:26,334
It could be the best text
by the most famous author.

1192
01:58:26,502 --> 01:58:30,125
The solution might be
to change your point of view.

1193
01:58:31,834 --> 01:58:33,792
I don't get that.

1194
01:58:33,960 --> 01:58:39,125
Things hide
when they become familiar.

1195
01:58:39,293 --> 01:58:43,292
But if you look at them
from another angle,

1196
01:58:43,460 --> 01:58:46,250
they might take
on a new meaning.

1197
01:58:57,377 --> 01:58:58,667
You're right.

1198
01:58:59,834 --> 01:59:04,417
Before this was just the stain
from the tea I threw.

1199
01:59:05,876 --> 01:59:08,542
Can you see what it could be?

1200
01:59:10,001 --> 01:59:11,334
A revolver!

1201
01:59:11,502 --> 01:59:15,042
No, a revolver has a drum
that revolves.

1202
01:59:15,210 --> 01:59:17,209
It's a pistol.

1203
01:59:17,377 --> 01:59:20,084
Can you see what kind it could be?

1204
01:59:20,251 --> 01:59:23,376
No, I don't remember anything
like that from my literature.

1205
01:59:23,543 --> 01:59:25,959
Oh, but it's something
I can remember from mine.

1206
01:59:26,126 --> 01:59:30,417
- Ian Fleming.
- Not familiar.

1207
01:59:30,585 --> 01:59:33,833
If you haven't read that,
you haven't read anything at all.

1208
01:59:35,210 --> 01:59:38,209
This could be,
with a little imagination,

1209
01:59:38,377 --> 01:59:42,000
a Walther PPK automatic,

1210
01:59:42,168 --> 01:59:44,417
the same gun
that was issued to Bond,

1211
01:59:44,585 --> 01:59:48,000
after his preferred pistol,
the Beretta, had jammed.

1212
01:59:49,793 --> 01:59:51,209
Is that something you can use?

1213
01:59:53,168 --> 01:59:55,084
Oh, yes, it is.

1214
02:00:04,709 --> 02:00:09,209
Whether I left
society or it left me, I cannot say.

1215
02:00:09,377 --> 02:00:12,501
I suppose you could make
an argument for both sides.

1216
02:00:13,960 --> 02:00:15,959
I was on my way
to the shady side

1217
02:00:16,126 --> 02:00:19,501
of the debt collecting business,
which, among other things,

1218
02:00:19,668 --> 02:00:22,792
involves stuff like
burning people's cars.

1219
02:00:24,834 --> 02:00:28,750
I had for a long time
known about this man, L.

1220
02:00:34,043 --> 02:00:36,250
Hi, my name is Joe.

1221
02:00:36,418 --> 02:00:40,334
I know that. Come in.

1222
02:00:44,960 --> 02:00:46,917
I'm looking for a job.

1223
02:00:48,460 --> 02:00:49,875
I've been working in an office,

1224
02:00:50,043 --> 02:00:52,542
and I was never really good at it.

1225
02:00:52,709 --> 02:00:56,334
I can understand that.
I mean, what's the point?

1226
02:00:59,001 --> 02:01:02,792
I've thought of you now and then
and wondered when you'd show up.

1227
02:01:06,460 --> 02:01:10,459
My lifestyle is relatively expensive,

1228
02:01:12,293 --> 02:01:15,750
and I need a fair amount
of free time for a sideline.

1229
02:01:15,918 --> 02:01:17,833
Of course.
I already know that.

1230
02:01:18,001 --> 02:01:20,875
I believe I possess
some qualifications

1231
02:01:21,043 --> 02:01:23,292
and that I'm rather unscrupulous.

1232
02:01:23,460 --> 02:01:27,042
I know all about your qualifications
and they're excellent.

1233
02:01:27,210 --> 02:01:30,833
And you have already proven you
are unscrupulous by coming here.

1234
02:01:33,418 --> 02:01:37,875
I would suggest that you start
your own little business

1235
02:01:38,043 --> 02:01:39,917
with my help.

1236
02:01:40,085 --> 02:01:44,084
I understand you possess
a great deal of insight

1237
02:01:44,251 --> 02:01:47,125
about a rather broad spectrum of men.

1238
02:01:48,460 --> 02:01:52,541
This could be, or should be,
capitalized on.

1239
02:01:52,709 --> 02:01:55,209
What should I do?

1240
02:01:55,377 --> 02:01:58,334
I facilitate certain assignments
for my humble firm

1241
02:01:58,501 --> 02:02:00,583
as part of a debt
collection business.

1242
02:02:00,751 --> 02:02:03,250
In other words,
I need subcontractors

1243
02:02:03,418 --> 02:02:06,125
who can put moderate pressure
on individuals,

1244
02:02:06,293 --> 02:02:10,209
with whom my clients rightly
or wrongly have a bone to pick.

1245
02:02:10,377 --> 02:02:12,833
- Understand?
- Extortion.

1246
02:02:13,001 --> 02:02:14,792
No. No, no, no, no.

1247
02:02:14,960 --> 02:02:19,708
I always prefer
the term "debt collection."

1248
02:02:21,418 --> 02:02:23,084
- Yeah.
- I refrain from judging

1249
02:02:23,251 --> 02:02:27,500
whether my clients' wishes
are legitimate or otherwise,

1250
02:02:27,668 --> 02:02:31,959
a point of view I strongly
recommend you follow.

1251
02:02:33,626 --> 02:02:38,792
I'm still unsure of what it is
I should do.

1252
02:02:38,960 --> 02:02:41,042
Well, you'll need two thugs,

1253
02:02:41,210 --> 02:02:43,750
and I can think of two good ones.

1254
02:02:43,918 --> 02:02:48,458
They both have a lot of experience
and can show you the ropes.

1255
02:02:49,584 --> 02:02:51,458
That's interesting.

1256
02:02:51,626 --> 02:02:54,625
It's not at all interesting.

1257
02:02:54,793 --> 02:02:57,042
Most interesting thing about it was

1258
02:02:57,210 --> 02:03:00,084
how easily I dedicated
myself to crime.

1259
02:03:00,251 --> 02:03:02,458
My main
qualification, of course,

1260
02:03:02,626 --> 02:03:05,708
was my considerable experience
with men and sex.

1261
02:03:05,876 --> 02:03:09,917
But even my more specialized
skills came in handy.

1262
02:03:31,584 --> 02:03:35,458
No, now this is not how it goes.

1263
02:03:35,626 --> 02:03:37,959
You have to wait until you're hit.

1264
02:03:40,668 --> 02:03:44,375
The two helpers that
I had recommended were okay,

1265
02:03:44,542 --> 02:03:48,042
but they were predisposed
to a rather repetitive technique,

1266
02:03:48,210 --> 02:03:52,000
which consisted of creating
as much havoc as possible

1267
02:03:52,168 --> 02:03:53,583
with a pair of iron bars.

1268
02:04:09,251 --> 02:04:13,583
Destroying your things doesn't
seem to have much effect on you.

1269
02:04:13,751 --> 02:04:15,209
The only thing
worth mentioning

1270
02:04:15,376 --> 02:04:17,583
from my first years
as a collector

1271
02:04:17,751 --> 02:04:21,500
was the story of an unusually
sober-minded,

1272
02:04:21,668 --> 02:04:24,458
and for that reason vulnerable, man.

1273
02:04:24,626 --> 02:04:27,500
The dirt I threatened
to go public with

1274
02:04:27,668 --> 02:04:31,167
was normally within
my core competence: sex.

1275
02:04:32,085 --> 02:04:36,667
But for once, here was a man
I was unable to read sexually,

1276
02:04:36,834 --> 02:04:39,458
so I became persistent.

1277
02:04:39,626 --> 02:04:41,458
Tie him to the chair.

1278
02:04:43,126 --> 02:04:44,792
Don't hurt him.

1279
02:04:48,126 --> 02:04:50,375
I can't find a stain on you,

1280
02:04:51,251 --> 02:04:54,209
but my experience tells me
that no man is spotless.

1281
02:04:55,417 --> 02:04:59,416
Luckily, you're equipped with
a very reliable truth detector.

1282
02:05:10,001 --> 02:05:12,875
I'm going to tell you a few stories.

1283
02:05:13,043 --> 02:05:15,416
All you have to do is listen.

1284
02:05:17,459 --> 02:05:20,583
You're in a bar watching a couple...

1285
02:05:20,751 --> 02:05:23,291
I now meticulously
went through the catalogue

1286
02:05:23,459 --> 02:05:26,667
of sexual deviations
in fictional form.

1287
02:05:26,834 --> 02:05:29,750
Stories about sado-masochism,

1288
02:05:29,918 --> 02:05:34,042
fetishism, homosexuality,
you name it.

1289
02:05:34,210 --> 02:05:35,917
But he didn't react.

1290
02:05:36,085 --> 02:05:38,541
And I'd almost given up
when I said...

1291
02:05:38,709 --> 02:05:43,333
On your way home,
you walk through the park.

1292
02:05:48,085 --> 02:05:49,792
And something makes you stop.

1293
02:05:50,918 --> 02:05:52,750
You hear something.

1294
02:06:06,960 --> 02:06:08,667
Yes, that's it.

1295
02:06:08,834 --> 02:06:12,541
You can hear the children
in the playground.

1296
02:06:13,668 --> 02:06:18,125
You sit on a bench nearby
and watch them play.

1297
02:06:18,292 --> 02:06:21,458
There's a little boy in shorts.

1298
02:06:22,834 --> 02:06:25,042
He's playing in the sandpit.

1299
02:06:27,043 --> 02:06:31,917
He looks at you
with his blue eyes.

1300
02:06:33,459 --> 02:06:35,167
He smiles at you.

1301
02:06:35,334 --> 02:06:37,541
I think he comes to you.

1302
02:06:37,709 --> 02:06:42,833
He sits on your lap
and looks up at your face.

1303
02:06:43,501 --> 02:06:47,750
He says he'd like
to come home with you.

1304
02:06:51,918 --> 02:06:53,167
At home,

1305
02:06:53,334 --> 02:06:56,625
you can't fight the idea
of being naked together.

1306
02:06:57,626 --> 02:07:00,084
He crawls all over you.

1307
02:07:00,250 --> 02:07:01,875
You get an erection.

1308
02:07:02,043 --> 02:07:04,125
Won't you please stop?

1309
02:07:04,292 --> 02:07:07,042
He lies on his stomach.

1310
02:07:07,834 --> 02:07:10,667
You pull down his pants.

1311
02:07:10,834 --> 02:07:12,458
I'll pay!

1312
02:07:44,834 --> 02:07:47,084
You did what?

1313
02:07:47,250 --> 02:07:49,000
I gave him a blowjob.

1314
02:07:49,167 --> 02:07:52,833
- Why? That pig!
- I took pity on him.

1315
02:07:53,001 --> 02:07:54,333
Pity?

1316
02:07:54,501 --> 02:07:58,000
Yes. I had just destroyed his life.

1317
02:07:58,167 --> 02:08:02,333
Nobody knew his secret,
most probably not even himself.

1318
02:08:03,542 --> 02:08:06,124
He sat there with the shame.

1319
02:08:06,292 --> 02:08:09,541
I suppose I sucked him off
as a kind of apology.

1320
02:08:09,709 --> 02:08:10,750
That's unbelievable.

1321
02:08:12,043 --> 02:08:14,917
No, listen to me.
This is a man who'd succeeded

1322
02:08:15,085 --> 02:08:17,042
in repressing his own desire,

1323
02:08:17,209 --> 02:08:22,333
who had never before given into it,
right up until I forced it out.

1324
02:08:22,501 --> 02:08:25,000
He had lived a life full of denial

1325
02:08:25,167 --> 02:08:27,583
and had never hurt a soul.

1326
02:08:27,751 --> 02:08:30,583
I think that's laudable.

1327
02:08:30,751 --> 02:08:31,792
No matter how much I try,

1328
02:08:31,960 --> 02:08:34,541
I can't find anything laudable
in pedophilia.

1329
02:08:34,709 --> 02:08:37,583
That's because you think
about the perhaps five percent

1330
02:08:37,751 --> 02:08:40,166
who actually hurt children.

1331
02:08:40,334 --> 02:08:45,083
The remaining 95 percent
never live out their fantasies.

1332
02:08:45,250 --> 02:08:47,667
Think about their suffering.

1333
02:08:47,834 --> 02:08:52,750
Sexuality is the strongest force
in human beings.

1334
02:08:52,918 --> 02:08:57,750
To be born with a forbidden
sexuality must be agonizing.

1335
02:08:57,918 --> 02:09:01,333
The pedophile
who manages to get through life

1336
02:09:01,501 --> 02:09:03,583
with the shame of his desire

1337
02:09:03,751 --> 02:09:07,541
while never acting on it,
deserves a bloody medal.

1338
02:09:14,626 --> 02:09:18,249
The writer Thomas Mann
said somewhere

1339
02:09:18,417 --> 02:09:20,500
that a temptation resisted

1340
02:09:20,668 --> 02:09:24,959
is not a sin
but a test of virtue.

1341
02:09:28,709 --> 02:09:32,333
Wasn't there something
about that writer and boys?

1342
02:09:32,501 --> 02:09:35,083
Yeah, so they say.

1343
02:09:35,250 --> 02:09:38,416
I suppose he dealt with it
by writing them out.

1344
02:09:38,584 --> 02:09:41,333
And he got a medal, a Nobel Prize.

1345
02:09:45,834 --> 02:09:48,959
But there was
another reason for my sympathy,

1346
02:09:49,125 --> 02:09:51,458
which you find so mysterious.

1347
02:09:53,334 --> 02:09:57,333
I saw a man who was carrying
the same cross as myself.

1348
02:09:59,960 --> 02:10:02,041
Loneliness.

1349
02:10:05,292 --> 02:10:08,041
We were both sexual outcasts.

1350
02:10:16,542 --> 02:10:18,541
In any case,
some years passed,

1351
02:10:18,709 --> 02:10:21,667
during which my business grew,

1352
02:10:21,834 --> 02:10:26,416
enabling me to step up my
anonymous deposits to Marcel.

1353
02:10:27,334 --> 02:10:30,875
Your business is doing great.

1354
02:10:31,042 --> 02:10:34,833
You complete all the jobs
I give you to perfection.

1355
02:10:35,000 --> 02:10:39,667
And I hear only words of praise
from your other clients, but...

1356
02:10:39,834 --> 02:10:42,750
- But what?
- We aren't getting any younger.

1357
02:10:42,918 --> 02:10:46,958
No, that's for sure.

1358
02:10:47,125 --> 02:10:48,541
I think you're getting to that age

1359
02:10:48,709 --> 02:10:50,708
where you have to start thinking
about a successor.

1360
02:10:50,876 --> 02:10:54,583
Oh, I don't need a fucking successor.

1361
02:10:54,751 --> 02:10:56,416
Listen.

1362
02:10:56,584 --> 02:10:59,958
A person should take
their crime seriously.

1363
02:11:00,125 --> 02:11:03,249
You need someone
to be your right hand,

1364
02:11:03,417 --> 02:11:07,249
someone to help you.
A crown princess.

1365
02:11:09,542 --> 02:11:12,792
The normal process is to find out

1366
02:11:12,959 --> 02:11:16,416
what colleagues are in prison,
or are drug addicts,

1367
02:11:16,584 --> 02:11:21,249
and thereby unable to fulfill
their roles as parents.

1368
02:11:21,417 --> 02:11:25,750
Then, you find out
where their kids play football,

1369
02:11:25,917 --> 02:11:28,249
and you get involved.

1370
02:11:28,417 --> 02:11:30,124
You cheer them on
for a couple of years,

1371
02:11:30,292 --> 02:11:33,750
no matter how bad they are.
Actually, the worse, the better.

1372
02:11:33,917 --> 02:11:37,875
That way, gradually, you take on
the role of the parent

1373
02:11:38,042 --> 02:11:41,792
until, in the end,
you have a loyal helper

1374
02:11:41,959 --> 02:11:45,249
that will walk through fire for you.

1375
02:11:45,417 --> 02:11:47,458
Even do time for you.

1376
02:11:51,209 --> 02:11:55,333
It sounds like a kind of
an entrapment you're suggesting.

1377
02:11:55,501 --> 02:11:58,958
- An unsavory entrapment.
- Call it what you want,

1378
02:11:59,125 --> 02:12:03,083
but if you believe at all in
the effects of good parenting,

1379
02:12:03,250 --> 02:12:06,166
that kid will have much greater
opportunities with you

1380
02:12:06,334 --> 02:12:08,750
as a mentor than without.

1381
02:12:08,917 --> 02:12:11,291
And since I like you,

1382
02:12:11,459 --> 02:12:15,291
I've been looking around
for a suitable subject.

1383
02:12:15,459 --> 02:12:20,750
She's 15 years old from
a family of hardened criminals,

1384
02:12:20,917 --> 02:12:23,249
and she's been through a lot.

1385
02:12:23,417 --> 02:12:26,500
Last couple of years
she's been institutionalized.

1386
02:12:26,668 --> 02:12:29,208
Her father's in prison
and her mother died of an overdose.

1387
02:12:29,376 --> 02:12:31,083
She's a smart girl.

1388
02:12:31,250 --> 02:12:33,166
And although
she doesn't play football,

1389
02:12:33,334 --> 02:12:36,124
she does play basketball very badly.

1390
02:12:37,376 --> 02:12:42,750
She's chosen a team sport
because she's lonely.

1391
02:12:42,917 --> 02:12:45,916
I saved the best part for last.

1392
02:12:46,084 --> 02:12:49,041
Her right ear is slightly deformed,

1393
02:12:49,209 --> 02:12:52,916
which she is very ashamed of,

1394
02:12:53,084 --> 02:12:56,083
and of course, this serves
to isolate her even more.

1395
02:12:56,250 --> 02:13:00,583
It makes her an easy target
for even the slightest bit

1396
02:13:00,751 --> 02:13:05,500
of attention
or sign of empathy from you.

1397
02:13:09,459 --> 02:13:13,041
Despite my protests,
the clever L somehow talked me

1398
02:13:13,209 --> 02:13:14,832
into actually having a look at P.

1399
02:13:17,626 --> 02:13:20,999
The longer I watched the poor girl
with the deformed ear,

1400
02:13:21,167 --> 02:13:24,375
the more repulsive
I found the whole plan.

1401
02:13:51,292 --> 02:13:53,291
But as if L had foreseen this,

1402
02:13:53,459 --> 02:13:59,124
the meeting with P filled me
with pity and emotion.

1403
02:13:59,292 --> 02:14:00,999
And without wanting to,

1404
02:14:01,167 --> 02:14:04,416
I found myself,
weekend after weekend,

1405
02:14:04,584 --> 02:14:08,291
at her games
supporting the poor player.

1406
02:14:23,334 --> 02:14:26,874
- Thanks for cheering me on.
- You're welcome.

1407
02:14:27,042 --> 02:14:29,291
You played really well today.

1408
02:14:31,709 --> 02:14:34,375
- No, I didn't.
- You did.

1409
02:14:34,542 --> 02:14:37,583
You really improved yourself lately.

1410
02:14:49,084 --> 02:14:52,832
Sixteen years. Congratulations.

1411
02:14:53,000 --> 02:14:55,791
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

1412
02:15:18,542 --> 02:15:20,083
I was proud to introduce P

1413
02:15:20,250 --> 02:15:22,916
to my father's passion
and his world.

1414
02:15:26,000 --> 02:15:27,791
It's actually...

1415
02:15:29,250 --> 02:15:33,208
the souls of the trees
that we see in the winter.

1416
02:15:39,626 --> 02:15:42,249
I think they look like human souls.

1417
02:15:46,334 --> 02:15:48,208
Yeah, you're right.

1418
02:15:49,084 --> 02:15:51,832
They do look like human souls.

1419
02:15:52,042 --> 02:15:55,249
Twisted souls, regular souls,

1420
02:15:55,417 --> 02:15:57,500
crazy souls,

1421
02:15:57,667 --> 02:16:01,333
all depending on the kind
of lives human beings lead.

1422
02:16:04,209 --> 02:16:08,625
Then that must be
Miss Williamson from number 21.

1423
02:16:08,792 --> 02:16:11,291
That's not a very nice thing
to say about Miss Williamson.

1424
02:16:11,459 --> 02:16:14,999
But she's always angry.
She has a monster in her belly.

1425
02:16:15,167 --> 02:16:17,707
Well, she does have
an ulcer in her belly

1426
02:16:17,875 --> 02:16:19,583
that I've been treating
for the last 15 years.

1427
02:16:22,125 --> 02:16:24,541
And sure enough,
one of the following days

1428
02:16:24,708 --> 02:16:26,958
my dad dragged me
into the woods again.

1429
02:16:27,125 --> 02:16:30,916
I found my tree.
My soul tree.

1430
02:16:33,250 --> 02:16:38,999
And no, it's not that one, okay,
'cause then I would be dead.

1431
02:16:40,917 --> 02:16:43,124
This is my tree.

1432
02:16:46,501 --> 02:16:50,624
- It's not an ash tree.
- No, it's an oak tree.

1433
02:16:53,833 --> 02:16:55,707
It has two trunks.

1434
02:16:55,875 --> 02:16:59,083
Yeah, isn't it great?

1435
02:16:59,250 --> 02:17:04,458
It shows itself to both sides,
the lake and the forest.

1436
02:17:14,459 --> 02:17:18,749
But, Dad, how does
a tree get two trunks?

1437
02:17:20,376 --> 02:17:24,333
The most common reason
is that the top broke

1438
02:17:24,501 --> 02:17:26,375
when it was very young.

1439
02:17:26,542 --> 02:17:30,375
That means
that you've been broken once.

1440
02:17:30,542 --> 02:17:32,582
Have you, Dad?

1441
02:17:38,792 --> 02:17:41,999
It seems that it can be
rather revealing...

1442
02:17:43,459 --> 02:17:45,749
to find your soul tree.

1443
02:17:49,750 --> 02:17:55,375
My father found his soul tree,
but I've never found mine.

1444
02:17:55,917 --> 02:18:01,083
"You will know it when you see it,"
is what he said.

1445
02:18:07,667 --> 02:18:13,500
Kitchen and dining room.
And in here...

1446
02:18:15,334 --> 02:18:17,666
When P reached the age of maturity

1447
02:18:17,833 --> 02:18:20,124
and I became her personal adviser,

1448
02:18:20,292 --> 02:18:22,791
I asked her to move in with me.

1449
02:18:31,209 --> 02:18:33,958
Let me see you with your hair up.

1450
02:18:34,125 --> 02:18:36,624
You're so pretty.

1451
02:18:48,667 --> 02:18:52,375
All this time
all my sexual activity had stopped.

1452
02:18:52,541 --> 02:18:57,083
My groin was one big sore
from my abuse that wouldn't heal,

1453
02:18:57,250 --> 02:19:00,083
and made even
masturbation impossible.

1454
02:19:04,334 --> 02:19:07,624
I experienced definite
abstinence symptoms...

1455
02:19:07,792 --> 02:19:09,749
fever and cramps.

1456
02:19:34,708 --> 02:19:36,457
Joe, what's going on?

1457
02:19:38,667 --> 02:19:41,457
- Careful.
- We need to clear this up.

1458
02:19:50,334 --> 02:19:53,291
I just get this sometimes.

1459
02:19:56,625 --> 02:19:59,124
It's okay. It's okay.

1460
02:20:03,209 --> 02:20:05,707
Do you want to go back to bed?

1461
02:20:07,708 --> 02:20:09,916
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

1462
02:20:26,042 --> 02:20:27,916
I love you, Joe.

1463
02:20:28,084 --> 02:20:29,832
I love you, too.

1464
02:20:31,250 --> 02:20:33,582
I don't mean it in that way.

1465
02:20:36,625 --> 02:20:40,041
Come on, it's late.
You should go back to bed.

1466
02:20:41,583 --> 02:20:42,624
Good night.

1467
02:20:45,500 --> 02:20:47,916
Perhaps she really loved you.

1468
02:20:52,000 --> 02:20:55,374
She was so very young.

1469
02:20:55,541 --> 02:20:59,832
Maybe she, too, discovered
her cunt at the age of two.

1470
02:21:00,000 --> 02:21:02,124
Maybe earlier.

1471
02:21:02,292 --> 02:21:03,832
I couldn't accept it.

1472
02:21:04,000 --> 02:21:07,791
Perhaps because you
really wanted it to be true.

1473
02:21:09,875 --> 02:21:11,540
Perhaps I hoped it.

1474
02:21:11,708 --> 02:21:15,041
It's very touching,
all this about P.

1475
02:21:17,250 --> 02:21:20,832
Then you've probably
misunderstood the whole thing.

1476
02:21:21,000 --> 02:21:24,499
Shall we get the story over
and done with?

1477
02:21:52,625 --> 02:21:54,666
Don't.

1478
02:21:55,875 --> 02:21:57,958
I wanna see you.

1479
02:21:58,125 --> 02:21:59,124
- Don't.
- Why?

1480
02:21:59,291 --> 02:22:00,749
- Please, don't.
- Why not?

1481
02:22:00,917 --> 02:22:04,457
No. No, I have a wound.

1482
02:22:04,625 --> 02:22:06,624
- I have a wound.
- It doesn't matter.

1483
02:22:06,792 --> 02:22:10,666
- No, you don't understand.
- I have that thing with my ear.

1484
02:22:10,833 --> 02:22:13,499
I'm so ashamed.

1485
02:22:49,833 --> 02:22:51,916
Do you like me?

1486
02:22:55,500 --> 02:22:57,499
You're so beautiful.

1487
02:24:35,084 --> 02:24:37,832
There's one thing
I don't understand.

1488
02:24:38,667 --> 02:24:41,374
Did she know what you did
for a living?

1489
02:24:41,541 --> 02:24:46,707
P was very discreet
and a girl of few words.

1490
02:24:48,208 --> 02:24:50,499
Oddly, although I worked
strange hours,

1491
02:24:50,667 --> 02:24:52,540
she never asked about my work.

1492
02:24:54,291 --> 02:24:57,123
But one day she had a question.

1493
02:24:58,750 --> 02:25:00,374
Joe.

1494
02:25:05,416 --> 02:25:09,248
Why did you start
coming to my basketball matches?

1495
02:25:11,333 --> 02:25:13,999
It wasn't a coincidence, was it?

1496
02:25:19,583 --> 02:25:22,540
No, it wasn't a coincidence.

1497
02:25:26,333 --> 02:25:28,999
I didn't tell you because I...

1498
02:25:29,166 --> 02:25:32,165
I thought you'd be upset...

1499
02:25:33,541 --> 02:25:36,415
and that you'd get angry at me.

1500
02:25:36,583 --> 02:25:39,082
I won't get angry.

1501
02:25:43,625 --> 02:25:45,749
What I do...

1502
02:25:47,291 --> 02:25:49,958
My job isn't a normal job.

1503
02:25:50,124 --> 02:25:52,248
It's not legal.

1504
02:25:52,416 --> 02:25:55,290
No one in my family
does anything legal.

1505
02:26:00,959 --> 02:26:05,374
A man that's helped me in my business
suggested that I watched you.

1506
02:26:08,291 --> 02:26:12,582
The plan was that I...
I should look at you

1507
02:26:12,750 --> 02:26:17,040
to see whether one day I could
use you in my work.

1508
02:26:17,208 --> 02:26:20,165
I should make friends with you

1509
02:26:20,333 --> 02:26:23,540
because I knew you didn't
have a mother or a father.

1510
02:26:23,708 --> 02:26:25,540
What's wrong with that?

1511
02:26:25,708 --> 02:26:29,290
Don't you see
how evil that plan was?

1512
02:26:29,458 --> 02:26:33,165
- I felt terrible.
- You shouldn't have.

1513
02:26:33,333 --> 02:26:35,290
Why not?

1514
02:26:38,083 --> 02:26:40,499
Because if you hadn't...

1515
02:26:42,458 --> 02:26:44,707
we'd never have met.

1516
02:26:49,500 --> 02:26:53,707
I'd like to go with you
to work next time.

1517
02:26:53,875 --> 02:26:55,290
No.

1518
02:27:04,333 --> 02:27:05,874
Will you think about it?

1519
02:27:06,041 --> 02:27:08,624
- No.
- Yes.

1520
02:27:09,041 --> 02:27:11,958
She didn't take no
for an answer.

1521
02:27:12,124 --> 02:27:14,374
No, of course not.

1522
02:27:14,541 --> 02:27:17,958
How do you keep a wave
upon the sand?

1523
02:27:20,249 --> 02:27:25,749
And in the throes of love,
I was weak and no match for her.

1524
02:27:28,833 --> 02:27:32,457
With the risk
of being too clever for myself,

1525
02:27:32,625 --> 02:27:37,082
social inheritance
is an irrefutable fact.

1526
02:27:38,458 --> 02:27:42,707
If anyone knew about the laws
of the street, it must've been P.

1527
02:27:43,917 --> 02:27:47,624
You're more right than you know.

1528
02:28:07,667 --> 02:28:10,082
- Let's shoot the fucker.
- No, no!

1529
02:28:10,249 --> 02:28:13,374
Stop! Stop!

1530
02:28:16,750 --> 02:28:19,123
We don't use firearms.

1531
02:28:20,291 --> 02:28:24,082
- I'd like to have the gun.
- The others have weapons, too.

1532
02:28:25,541 --> 02:28:27,082
Well, I didn't know that,

1533
02:28:27,249 --> 02:28:29,165
but in any case,
you're not to have one.

1534
02:28:30,291 --> 02:28:31,957
But guns aren't dangerous.

1535
02:28:32,124 --> 02:28:34,540
It depends on how you use them.

1536
02:28:34,708 --> 02:28:36,165
Yes, exactly.

1537
02:28:36,333 --> 02:28:37,832
I wasn't going to shoot him.

1538
02:28:38,875 --> 02:28:41,040
We wouldn't have gotten
any money out of him that way.

1539
02:28:41,208 --> 02:28:43,082
Can I have the gun?

1540
02:28:47,708 --> 02:28:49,415
Thank you.

1541
02:29:08,958 --> 02:29:10,998
You're evil.

1542
02:29:14,999 --> 02:29:19,082
And now I'm afraid
one of those coincidences

1543
02:29:19,249 --> 02:29:24,415
you have such a hard time with
occurred with a very special person.

1544
02:29:25,667 --> 02:29:28,332
It was P's job to take us
to the debtors,

1545
02:29:28,500 --> 02:29:30,582
so until I saw the name
on the door,

1546
02:29:30,750 --> 02:29:33,123
I had no idea
whose house we were at.

1547
02:29:35,500 --> 02:29:39,957
This is Acer siccharium.

1548
02:29:40,124 --> 02:29:42,540
- Saccharinum.
- Saccharinum, yeah, that.

1549
02:29:42,708 --> 02:29:43,873
I said that.

1550
02:29:52,999 --> 02:29:54,831
Are you sure
this is the right place?

1551
02:29:54,999 --> 02:29:55,749
Yeah.

1552
02:30:02,832 --> 02:30:08,499
I was thinking maybe it's time for
you to do this one on your own.

1553
02:30:09,416 --> 02:30:10,707
Yeah?

1554
02:30:12,625 --> 02:30:15,624
- Thank you, Joe.
- I don't want anything destroyed,

1555
02:30:16,583 --> 02:30:18,873
and I don't want anybody hurt.

1556
02:30:19,041 --> 02:30:24,290
Okay? You just show yourself and
offer him a reasonable payment plan.

1557
02:30:24,458 --> 02:30:29,082
If you say so, of course
that's how I'll do it.

1558
02:30:44,333 --> 02:30:46,915
Whether the feeling
when I saw Jerome again was love,

1559
02:30:47,083 --> 02:30:48,707
I couldn't say.

1560
02:30:51,667 --> 02:30:54,248
But it was a feeling...

1561
02:30:54,416 --> 02:30:57,123
and far stronger than I liked.

1562
02:31:08,333 --> 02:31:12,248
I was actually
walking home through the alley here.

1563
02:31:12,416 --> 02:31:14,707
Your two neighborhoods
are totally different,

1564
02:31:14,874 --> 02:31:18,248
but still so close together
that the shortest route

1565
02:31:18,416 --> 02:31:22,415
from Jerome's house towards
the center was through the alley.

1566
02:31:29,375 --> 02:31:31,374
Hello!

1567
02:31:31,541 --> 02:31:35,415
- How did it go?
- Brilliant.

1568
02:31:35,583 --> 02:31:38,706
Yeah, really well.

1569
02:31:38,874 --> 02:31:41,457
I made a reasonable payment plan
like you told me to.

1570
02:31:41,625 --> 02:31:46,499
- How did he look?
- Scared.

1571
02:31:46,667 --> 02:31:49,040
How old did he look?

1572
02:31:49,208 --> 02:31:52,540
I don't know. Ancient?

1573
02:32:12,375 --> 02:32:16,123
Jerome was to pay
off his debt in six payments.

1574
02:32:16,291 --> 02:32:19,040
Every time P
went to Jerome to collect,

1575
02:32:19,208 --> 02:32:23,957
I'd pace around restlessly
until she was back home again.

1576
02:32:26,249 --> 02:32:29,540
I even had to find my mother's
sad old solitaire cards

1577
02:32:29,707 --> 02:32:32,748
in order to make the hours pass.

1578
02:32:40,166 --> 02:32:42,040
Each night I was less reassured

1579
02:32:42,208 --> 02:32:45,248
by her coming home
than the night before.

1580
02:32:45,416 --> 02:32:48,665
The question of whether jealousy is
the fear of sharing

1581
02:32:48,832 --> 02:32:52,123
or the fear of losing
was of little interest to me.

1582
02:32:52,291 --> 02:32:55,415
But yes, it was a fact
that this unworthy feeling

1583
02:32:55,583 --> 02:33:00,290
I had managed to suppress
for so long was creeping up on me.

1584
02:33:03,124 --> 02:33:05,873
The evening she was
to collect the final payment,

1585
02:33:06,041 --> 02:33:07,873
she didn't kiss me.

1586
02:33:08,041 --> 02:33:10,374
I took it to be forgetfulness,

1587
02:33:10,541 --> 02:33:14,457
but the hours passed,
and she didn't return.

1588
02:33:21,541 --> 02:33:26,748
Every time I saw car lights,
I thought it was P being driven home.

1589
02:34:25,291 --> 02:34:27,374
So the next morning I took a trip

1590
02:34:27,540 --> 02:34:30,706
to the round hills
just outside of town

1591
02:34:30,874 --> 02:34:34,248
that I visited with my school class
when I was 12,

1592
02:34:34,416 --> 02:34:37,873
to say a symbolic goodbye.

1593
02:34:41,500 --> 02:34:44,207
I had decided to flee.

1594
02:34:44,375 --> 02:34:48,873
I couldn't stay in this town
with her and him.

1595
02:34:49,041 --> 02:34:53,332
I had cowardly made a plan
to escape and head south.

1596
02:34:53,500 --> 02:34:54,831
Like from some ice age

1597
02:34:54,999 --> 02:34:58,165
I didn't have the guts
to turn around and face.

1598
02:34:59,333 --> 02:35:03,539
But the goodbye was sad
and strangely unfulfilling.

1599
02:35:03,707 --> 02:35:07,665
And something called me on to
seek further up the mountain.

1600
02:36:31,208 --> 02:36:33,790
I understand dictators
who commit murder.

1601
02:36:36,749 --> 02:36:39,623
What was Hitler,
when it all boils down,

1602
02:36:39,791 --> 02:36:43,790
other than a man to whom society
gave free reins?

1603
02:36:46,333 --> 02:36:49,623
Well, that was
just what we were missing.

1604
02:36:49,791 --> 02:36:53,623
You understand racists,
you have a soft spot for pedophiles,

1605
02:36:53,791 --> 02:36:56,706
and, of course,
now at the finishing line,

1606
02:36:56,874 --> 02:36:58,623
you have to sympathize

1607
02:36:58,791 --> 02:37:01,414
with the greatest mass
murderers of history.

1608
02:37:01,582 --> 02:37:03,831
What I mean is...

1609
02:37:05,499 --> 02:37:08,040
It's said to be difficult
to take someone's life.

1610
02:37:08,208 --> 02:37:12,082
I would've said
that it's more difficult not to

1611
02:37:12,249 --> 02:37:16,040
when, as a dictator or as me,

1612
02:37:16,208 --> 02:37:18,581
you've nothing to lose.

1613
02:37:20,916 --> 02:37:22,165
For a human being,

1614
02:37:22,333 --> 02:37:25,539
killing is the most
natural thing in the world.

1615
02:37:25,707 --> 02:37:27,957
We're created for it.

1616
02:37:30,415 --> 02:37:32,082
Wonderful.

1617
02:38:22,791 --> 02:38:24,331
No, get off!

1618
02:38:34,540 --> 02:38:36,706
Fireman's grip.

1619
02:42:22,707 --> 02:42:27,247
Fill all my holes, please.

1620
02:42:51,916 --> 02:42:54,665
I still don't know
why the gun didn't work.

1621
02:42:54,832 --> 02:42:59,331
I did check to make sure that there
were bullets in the magazine.

1622
02:42:59,499 --> 02:43:02,164
It simply malfunctioned.

1623
02:43:02,332 --> 02:43:04,915
Just like Bond's Beretta.

1624
02:43:05,082 --> 02:43:08,164
I think I know enough to say
that even if you had rounds

1625
02:43:08,332 --> 02:43:10,331
in the magazine
of the Walther PPK,

1626
02:43:10,499 --> 02:43:13,998
if you'd taken off the safety,

1627
02:43:14,165 --> 02:43:16,915
you cannot shoot
until you've racked the gun.

1628
02:43:17,874 --> 02:43:20,247
You pull and release

1629
02:43:20,415 --> 02:43:22,665
the sliding mechanism.

1630
02:43:22,832 --> 02:43:24,873
And P hadn't done it
because as she said,

1631
02:43:25,040 --> 02:43:27,665
she had no intention
of shooting the man.

1632
02:43:29,832 --> 02:43:32,831
I don't know about Bond,
but I assume it has to be apparent

1633
02:43:32,998 --> 02:43:34,498
from his books and his films

1634
02:43:34,666 --> 02:43:38,957
that you have
to rack an automatic pistol.

1635
02:43:40,248 --> 02:43:41,957
Of course, you're right.

1636
02:43:42,958 --> 02:43:46,623
I've seen it in films
a thousand times.

1637
02:43:51,540 --> 02:43:52,706
It's morning.

1638
02:43:55,332 --> 02:43:58,957
- The snow is gone.
- So the sun must be up?

1639
02:44:00,165 --> 02:44:02,081
Yes, there is sun.

1640
02:44:03,415 --> 02:44:05,373
How can you see it?

1641
02:44:06,415 --> 02:44:10,997
This alley's located so that you
never get direct sunlight here,

1642
02:44:11,165 --> 02:44:15,665
but I can see a small reflection
on the building on the other side.

1643
02:44:22,415 --> 02:44:26,206
I've never managed to figure
out where it comes from.

1644
02:44:26,998 --> 02:44:31,915
It must be some interplay
between windows and towers

1645
02:44:32,082 --> 02:44:35,206
and high buildings.

1646
02:44:37,832 --> 02:44:42,956
It's not much, but it's the sun
you get here at my place.

1647
02:44:47,082 --> 02:44:48,831
It's beautiful.

1648
02:44:58,998 --> 02:45:00,206
In the beginning,

1649
02:45:00,374 --> 02:45:02,206
you said that your only sin

1650
02:45:02,374 --> 02:45:05,539
was that you asked
more of the sunset.

1651
02:45:07,123 --> 02:45:11,081
Meaning, I suppose, that you wanted
more from life than was good for you.

1652
02:45:13,791 --> 02:45:17,498
You were a human being
demanding your right,

1653
02:45:17,666 --> 02:45:19,206
and more than that,

1654
02:45:19,374 --> 02:45:22,748
you were a woman
demanding her right.

1655
02:45:26,040 --> 02:45:28,748
Does that pardon everything?

1656
02:45:30,123 --> 02:45:34,206
Do you think if two men were to
walk down a train looking for women,

1657
02:45:34,957 --> 02:45:38,122
do you think anybody would have
raised an eyebrow,

1658
02:45:38,332 --> 02:45:41,164
or if a man had led the life you had?

1659
02:45:42,832 --> 02:45:47,414
And the story about Mrs. H.
would've been extremely banal

1660
02:45:47,582 --> 02:45:48,914
if you'd been a man.

1661
02:45:50,123 --> 02:45:52,665
And your conquest
would have been a woman.

1662
02:45:53,666 --> 02:45:58,289
When a man leaves his children
because of desire,

1663
02:45:58,957 --> 02:46:01,748
we accept it with a shrug,
but you as a woman,

1664
02:46:02,207 --> 02:46:04,665
you had to take on a guilt,

1665
02:46:04,998 --> 02:46:07,414
a burden of guilt
that could never be alleviated.

1666
02:46:11,415 --> 02:46:14,872
Your abortion was legal,
but more than anything else,

1667
02:46:15,040 --> 02:46:19,039
it was a punishment
you inflicted upon yourself.

1668
02:46:20,165 --> 02:46:23,414
And all in all,
all the blame and guilt

1669
02:46:23,582 --> 02:46:26,122
that piled up over the years
became too much for you,

1670
02:46:26,290 --> 02:46:28,289
and you reacted aggressively,

1671
02:46:28,457 --> 02:46:31,456
almost like a man, I have to say,
and you fought back.

1672
02:46:32,749 --> 02:46:34,122
You fought back
against the gender

1673
02:46:34,290 --> 02:46:38,414
that had been oppressing
and mutilating and killing you

1674
02:46:38,582 --> 02:46:43,081
and billions of women
in the name of religion or ethics,

1675
02:46:43,248 --> 02:46:46,498
or God knows what.

1676
02:46:49,540 --> 02:46:52,456
But I wanted
to kill a human being.

1677
02:46:55,873 --> 02:46:57,872
But you didn't.

1678
02:46:59,831 --> 02:47:02,247
Because of a chance event.

1679
02:47:02,415 --> 02:47:04,456
You call it a chance event,

1680
02:47:05,957 --> 02:47:08,748
I call it subconscious resistance.

1681
02:47:08,915 --> 02:47:11,164
On the surface you wanted to kill,

1682
02:47:11,998 --> 02:47:14,414
but deep down,
you celebrated human worth

1683
02:47:15,457 --> 02:47:17,164
in a veil of forgetfulness

1684
02:47:17,332 --> 02:47:21,830
draped itself over your
knowledge of how to rack a gun.

1685
02:47:24,207 --> 02:47:26,498
Although all this
sounds frighteningly close

1686
02:47:26,666 --> 02:47:29,623
to the clichés of our times...

1687
02:47:29,790 --> 02:47:34,747
and I'm predisposed to knock
holes in your arguments...

1688
02:47:36,415 --> 02:47:38,581
I'm too tired.

1689
02:47:38,748 --> 02:47:40,039
Well, that's good.

1690
02:47:43,624 --> 02:47:45,665
Why don't you lay down?

1691
02:47:47,957 --> 02:47:49,747
Yes.

1692
02:48:01,082 --> 02:48:03,747
Let me just say that
telling my story

1693
02:48:04,790 --> 02:48:07,789
as you insisted, or permitted,

1694
02:48:09,666 --> 02:48:12,289
has put me at ease.

1695
02:48:13,748 --> 02:48:19,539
At this moment,
my addiction is very clear to me.

1696
02:48:21,915 --> 02:48:23,830
And I've come to a decision.

1697
02:48:26,374 --> 02:48:33,081
Even though only one in a million,
as my dubious therapist said,

1698
02:48:34,332 --> 02:48:38,539
succeed in mentally,

1699
02:48:38,706 --> 02:48:40,914
bodily,

1700
02:48:41,082 --> 02:48:43,289
and in her heart

1701
02:48:43,457 --> 02:48:48,623
ridding herself
of her sexuality...

1702
02:48:48,790 --> 02:48:51,331
this is now my goal.

1703
02:48:52,082 --> 02:48:55,039
But is that a life worth living?

1704
02:48:57,790 --> 02:49:00,789
It's the only way I can live it.

1705
02:49:04,624 --> 02:49:08,414
I will stand up against all odds...

1706
02:49:13,040 --> 02:49:16,456
just like a deformed tree on a hill.

1707
02:49:24,540 --> 02:49:29,039
I will muster
all of my stubbornness...

1708
02:49:32,540 --> 02:49:34,705
my strength...

1709
02:49:36,873 --> 02:49:39,622
my masculine aggression.

1710
02:49:41,915 --> 02:49:45,498
But most of all I want
to say thanks

1711
02:49:45,665 --> 02:49:50,289
to my new and maybe first friend.

1712
02:49:50,457 --> 02:49:53,331
Thank you, Seligman...

1713
02:49:54,998 --> 02:49:58,373
who perhaps is happy
when all is said and done.

1714
02:50:05,457 --> 02:50:08,039
I'm happy at any rate

1715
02:50:08,207 --> 02:50:10,289
that the shot didn't go off

1716
02:50:10,457 --> 02:50:13,206
and made me a murderer.

1717
02:50:18,831 --> 02:50:21,664
If I may, I'd like to sleep now.

1718
02:50:25,706 --> 02:50:28,331
I'll make sure
you won't be disturbed.

1719
02:50:31,332 --> 02:50:34,539
And when you wake up,
maybe we could

1720
02:50:34,706 --> 02:50:37,789
discuss your future if you'd like.

1721
02:50:46,623 --> 02:50:50,039
In your new life,

1722
02:50:50,207 --> 02:50:52,914
would you consider
seeking out your son?

1723
02:50:55,748 --> 02:50:57,747
It's possible.

1724
02:51:02,082 --> 02:51:04,164
Good night, Joe.

1725
02:51:05,539 --> 02:51:07,414
Good night, Seligman.

1726
02:52:47,539 --> 02:52:49,247
No!

1727
02:52:51,581 --> 02:52:54,331
But you,
you fucked thousands of men.