1 00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:42,406 How do you want me? 2 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,972 Oh, that's good. Yeah, just.... Just get comfortable. 3 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,814 I'm a little nervous. 4 00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,576 You're doing great. 5 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,288 A little to the right there, gorgeous. 6 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:02,859 -Okay. Like this? -Oh, that a girl. 7 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,636 Yeah. Okay. 8 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,862 -You ready? -Yeah. 9 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,541 -You're blushing, Dorothy. -Don't blush, Kathy. 10 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,504 Oh, Kathy. 11 00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:21,002 Okay, and big smile. 12 00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,112 Kathy Regan. 13 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,045 I will always remember... 14 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,113 ...the game against Fairfield. 15 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,185 That one final kick. 16 00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:31,983 State champion, senior year. 17 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,019 Hunter McCaffrey. 18 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,985 I will always remember... 19 00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:38,960 ...all the great times with the dirty dozen... 20 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,395 ...and macking all the honeys. 21 00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:44,366 Cindy K. Tina B. 22 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,698 Michelle H. Goddamn! 23 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,396 Just too many to remember. 24 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:53,137 I'll always remember lacrosse champions. 25 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,375 All the glory days with the boys. 26 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:57,914 I will always remember... 27 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,415 ...the math-club madmen... 28 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,589 ...making the perfect fake ID's... 29 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,320 ...which lasted six seconds 30 00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:10,195 -Troy Cochran. -Troy Cochran. 31 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:11,886 -Troy gives good head. -Fuck you! 32 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,755 I'll always remember... 33 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,559 Seniors! 34 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,996 ...the senior prank. 35 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:26,727 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember.... 36 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,344 YEARBOOK MEMORIES FORM SENIORS ONLY! 37 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,982 NAME: MATTHEW KIDMAN I'll always remember... 38 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,495 Yeah, well, I told you I wanted to try out. 39 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,427 We'd like to honor a student... 40 00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:59,835 ...who has shown outstanding leadership. 41 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,703 We have no doubt that he will be one... 42 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,538 ...of the great politicians in Washington. 43 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,041 Georgetown UNIVERSITY 44 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,875 The award for the brightest leader... 45 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,974 ...of tomorrow, Matthew Kidman. 46 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,018 -I'm in! I'm in! -Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 47 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,916 Georgetown! They gave it to you! 48 00:04:58,097 --> 00:04:59,724 Hey, Jenny. 49 00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:04,096 Yeah, dude, come on. 50 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,115 SENIOR PROM DO YOU HAVE THE FEVER?! 51 00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,379 -Do you have the fever? -No. 52 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,085 Why? Do you? 53 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,782 I don't know. Maybe. 54 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,254 How about you? 55 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,563 I just gotta fuck something. 56 00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:34,358 I said, everybody say, "Ho!" 57 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,538 You know what I say? 58 00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:45,643 I say, this prom is gonna be off the hook! Do you feel me? 59 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,614 Security's gonna be tight. Get wasted before you show up. 60 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,750 That's enough! 61 00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:00,458 That's enough. I can wait. 62 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,254 I can wait, people. 63 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,364 Now, it is your student-council president... 64 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,935 ...who has a few announcements to make. 65 00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:13,436 Thanks, Mr. Salinger. 66 00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,608 All right, how you doing? 67 00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:25,516 Okay, let's start off with Operation Get Samnang. 68 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,777 Sam Young, baby! 69 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,185 Yeah. 70 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:35,083 Well, we did it. We raised the 25,000 dollars... 71 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,422 ...so now we can bring the genius Samnang out of Cambodia... 72 00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:40,599 ...and bring him here to study at Westport. 73 00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:47,036 Speaking of which, Samnang sent us a new tape. 74 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,071 Show that shit! 75 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,609 Show it! 76 00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:55,841 Hi, everyone, it's Samnang. 77 00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,648 Sam Young! 78 00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:03,652 I am very excited to be coming soon. Are you excited? 79 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:11,721 I told my class that I am coming to America. They were sad. 80 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,364 I am so happy. 81 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:16,000 -I wanna bang you! -Go, Cougars! 82 00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:33,845 How do they just skip class every day and go to the beach? 83 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,251 Because they just don't care. 84 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,132 Let's go with them. 85 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,934 -Seriously, let's just do it. -Why? 86 00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:55,840 Because, I mean, we never do anything. 87 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,011 I mean, we're graduating. We should be going nuts right now. 88 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,543 Let's just do something. 89 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,771 I am doing something, I'm going to class. 90 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:05,173 Klitz, you already got into Yale. 91 00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:06,842 I mean, it doesn't matter anymore. 92 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,520 Yeah, Klitz, you pussy. 93 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:11,519 -Well, why don't you go? -Yeah, come on. Let's go. 94 00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,624 Beach is for fags, man. 95 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:16,386 -The beach is for fags? -Yeah. 96 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,464 You know what? You guys are fags. 97 00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:26,466 Everyone to the beach! 98 00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:30,898 Let's go! Lock them and load them, dude. 99 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,542 WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL 100 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:36,805 Fuck it. 101 00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:57,396 SCHOOL SECURITY 102 00:08:57,603 --> 00:09:00,333 Personal power means the ability to act... 103 00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:03,135 ...the ability to take action. 104 00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,242 STOP CHECK-OUT WITH SECURITY 105 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:08,072 Three steps to personal power are necessary for results. 106 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,839 Here's number one step to personal power. 107 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,509 It's called energy. Energy. 108 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,516 When you wake up feeling really lethargic, really lousy... 109 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,985 ...do you usually jump up and go--? 110 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:28,496 Oh, shit. 111 00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,388 Hey! Pull it over! 112 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,026 Pull it over! Pull-- 113 00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,582 Oh, well, you're home early. 114 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:30,057 I postponed yearbook. I gotta work on my speech 115 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,594 -Hi, Mr. Peterson. -Mr. President. 116 00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,732 -Mrs. Peterson. -Congratulations. 117 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,835 -Oh, thank you. -Congratulations. Georgetown. 118 00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,870 Wow, you must be flying. 119 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:41,937 It's cool. 120 00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,440 What's the speech you're working on? 121 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,441 Oh, it's for this scholarship I need to get so I can... 122 00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:48,672 ...actually go to Georgetown. 123 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,405 It's pretty expensive. 124 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:50,716 What kind of scholarship is it? 125 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:53,378 What do they give it for? 126 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:58,182 It's for the student who best demonstrates moral fiber. 127 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,256 Oh, moral fiber. Well, that's-- 128 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,288 -Oh, I'm sure you'll get it. -Thanks. I mean, I hope so. 129 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,895 I mean, there's some stiff Competition... 130 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,431 ...and they only pick one of us... 131 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:11,069 ...so I'll just have to blow them away with my speech. 132 00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:17,969 Okay, so why do I deserve this scholarship? 133 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,145 1. MAKE EYE CONTACT 2. BE CHARMING 3. JFK! 134 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:22,904 ...can do for you but what you can do...." 135 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,609 John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what 136 00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:01,919 Look, I don't know who she is. 137 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:05,284 I'm just saying that this girl was unbelievable. 138 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,823 I mean, she was like this angel. 139 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:11,622 I mean, she had this smile. I mean, you should have seen it. 140 00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,096 -So did you bang her? -Oh, yeah, yeah. I banged her. 141 00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,928 That's what a man does, okay? 142 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,105 -Yeah. Okay, Eli. -Good. 143 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,340 Oh, my God. She's so hot. 144 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:28,445 -What channel, dude? -No, the girl next door. 145 00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:30,274 I can see her through my window. 146 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,711 How's the rack? 147 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:35,212 -God, who is this girl? -How's the rack? 148 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,115 -Hold on. Relax. -No. You relax. 149 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,314 Be a man and go over there. 150 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:40,992 Okay. Say what? 151 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,787 I don't know. Get off your ass and do something. Fuck! 152 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,529 -Hey, what are you doing? -What? 153 00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,567 Hey, dude, seriously, I told you... 154 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,933 ...it really freaks me out when you watch that while... 155 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,337 ...you're talking to me. 156 00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,840 Just learn to like it. 157 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,844 Oh, my God. 158 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,350 What? Matt, what? 159 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:10,886 Matt! 160 00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:19,155 Dude, what the fuck?! 161 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:39,916 Shit! 162 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,610 -Yes? -I'm sorry. 163 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:17,016 -Dan. -What's going on? 164 00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:18,250 Matthew! 165 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,555 Matthew, come down here. 166 00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:35,629 -What are you doing up there? -Nothing. 167 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,809 Come down here. 168 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,614 This is Danielle. 169 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,778 You know Mrs. Clark from next door. Danielle's her niece. 170 00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:53,857 Danielle just told us something very interesting. 171 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:58,422 Mrs. Clark is in Africa for two weeks with her church group. 172 00:14:58,631 --> 00:14:59,928 Did you know that? 173 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,835 Anyway, Danielle just came in from Los Angeles... 174 00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:06,834 ...and she's housesitting while her aunt's away. 175 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:08,563 Why don't you show her around. 176 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,083 Such a long road, you know. 177 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:32,792 -What are we doing? -Did you like what you saw? 178 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,191 What are you talking about? 179 00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:40,468 Okay, I saw you for, like, an instant. 180 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,163 -An instant? -Yeah. 181 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:43,864 It was no big deal. 182 00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:50,210 No, no, it was-- It was a big deal, but it's just that.... 183 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,213 I didn't.... 184 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,885 I'm sorry. 185 00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:58,681 I'm sorry. 186 00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,920 So, what are we gonna do about this? 187 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:05,890 I mean, I said I was sorry. 188 00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,501 What? 189 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,069 You saw me.... 190 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,739 Yeah, right, like I'm gonna strip right here? 191 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,871 Are you serious? 192 00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,780 No. 193 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,551 No. No, never gonna happen. 194 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,557 The whole package. 195 00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,354 No, come on, this is good enough. 196 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,265 Jesus! Come on, will you relax? 197 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,265 Frigging psycho. 198 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,044 There. You happy now? 199 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:03,549 Yep. 200 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,051 Hey! Wait! 201 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,729 No! 202 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,727 Jesus. Sorry. 203 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,569 You're an asshole. It's not funny. 204 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,746 It's a little funny. 205 00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:32,182 Come on. 206 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,614 Let me in. Let me in. 207 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,025 It's not funny. 208 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,962 It's a little funny. 209 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,249 So, what else do you do besides torture people? 210 00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:08,683 -Seriously, what's your story? -I don't know. 211 00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,483 I kind of just quit my job. 212 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,324 I want to start over. Maybe go to college. 213 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:25,465 So are you here alone or what? 214 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,798 -What? -Just ask. 215 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:36,543 Do you have a boyfriend? 216 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,916 No. 217 00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:44,848 Aren't you gonna ask me if I have a girlfriend? 218 00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:48,087 No.01 :18:45.04 :18:46.13 Okay. 219 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:51,387 So you're about to graduate. You must be going nuts right now. 220 00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:54,529 Yeah. 221 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:58,999 I mean, it's just been off the hook, you know? 222 00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:00,831 -Really? -Yeah. 223 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,338 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 224 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:07,034 Oh, I mean, it's hard to tell, you know, because we-- 225 00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:09,806 I've just done so much nuts stuff. I mean.... 226 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:13,216 It's just off the hook, off the walls. I mean.... 227 00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:16,012 You haven't done anything, have you? 228 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:18,518 No. 229 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,222 It's kind of-- It's kind of been my problem lately. 230 00:19:22,427 --> 00:19:24,861 Come on, there's gotta be something. 231 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,188 What about your girlfriend? 232 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,364 Okay. 233 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,562 We can figure this out. You just need a girl. 234 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,908 What kind of girl? 235 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,105 Definitely someone cute. 236 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,375 Definitely. 237 00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,875 Someone who can make him laugh. 238 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,584 But he also needs someone who's gonna push him. 239 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,958 Someone who's gonna make him do... 240 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,959 ...things he never thought he could do. 241 00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:59,663 Like stripping in the middle of the street? 242 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:25,381 -Well, thanks for the ride. -No problem. 243 00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:35,095 Well... 244 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,827 ...good night. 245 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:39,435 Good night. 246 00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:45,665 "Good night"? What are you, gay? 247 00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:50,838 -I would have nailed her. -Ok, you wouldn't have nailed her. 248 00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:53,313 -Whatever, dude. -And, you know, secondly... 249 00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:56,214 ...you know, the vibe was not right. 250 00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,720 The vibe wasn't right? She comes to your house and makes you strip. 251 00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:02,449 What does she have to do, sit on your face? 252 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:05,020 Come on, bitch. 253 00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:08,928 -Damn. Should have kissed her. -Are you okay? Dude? 254 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,863 All right, you all have this graph, correct? 255 00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:15,471 Good. Let's move along then. 256 00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:17,402 Now, it's a very simple equation here. 257 00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:19,875 Somebody give me the answer to this. 258 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,147 All right, if no one knows the answer to this.... 259 00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:29,552 Looking at this calculation, what does this make us think of? 260 00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:36,557 Questions on this? 261 00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:06,922 Good news, ladies and gentlemen. Pop-quiz time. 262 00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:54,231 That's Samnang Sok. He's this complete genius. 263 00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:56,430 So we raised all this money for him... 264 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:58,600 ...to come here and study at our school. 265 00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:02,007 -Who's "we"? -Well, I mean, I did... 266 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,739 ...but he could be the next Einstein, you know. 267 00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:07,475 You know, he could cure cancer. 268 00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:17,623 Let's go. 269 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,193 So, what do you wanna do? 270 00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:28,634 What? 271 00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:33,008 I'm not stripping again. 272 00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:35,640 Come on. 273 00:23:50,028 --> 00:23:51,791 Danielle! 274 00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:54,722 Come on. Where are you going? 275 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,614 Hey, come on, let's get out of here. 276 00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,578 How do you know no one's home? 277 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:15,309 -I don't. -Come on. 278 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,044 Seriously, this is nuts. 279 00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:30,000 Oh, boxers. 280 00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:35,006 I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day. 281 00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:50,448 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 282 00:24:53,592 --> 00:24:54,957 This is right up there. 283 00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:09,907 Oh, my God. 284 00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:14,574 -That's Mr. Salinger. -Who? 285 00:25:14,779 --> 00:25:16,713 That's my principal. Seriously, let's go. 286 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,042 -It's not funny. -It's a little funny. 287 00:25:23,788 --> 00:25:25,551 Hey. 288 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:29,984 Just go with it. 289 00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:53,283 Dude, I'm kind of uncomfortable watching this with you. 290 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:55,919 Dude, learn to like it. 291 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:02,920 I'm all wet. Can I come in? 292 00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:12,997 Hey, guys. This is Danielle. 293 00:26:13,204 --> 00:26:16,332 You must be Eli. And Klitz. Right. 294 00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:18,441 Hey, come on, we're all going out. 295 00:26:18,643 --> 00:26:23,307 -Can I use your bathroom first? -Oh, it's over here to the left. 296 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:32,151 -Dude. -I know. 297 00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,120 Dude. 298 00:26:34,326 --> 00:26:35,691 I know. 299 00:26:51,209 --> 00:26:53,302 -Dude, what are we doing here? -Yeah, I know. 300 00:26:53,511 --> 00:26:54,910 Guys, seriously, it's gonna get... 301 00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:56,844 ...broken up, like, any second now, right? 302 00:26:58,717 --> 00:27:00,014 Guys? 303 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:14,724 -Get the fuck out of here! -Sorry. 304 00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:29,006 Go. 305 00:27:29,848 --> 00:27:32,715 -So, what do you wanna do? -Let's just chill. 306 00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:34,680 Hi, guys. 307 00:27:36,721 --> 00:27:39,747 -Is this your party? -No, it's a friend of mine's. 308 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,388 -I'm Hunter. -Danielle. 309 00:27:42,594 --> 00:27:44,391 This is Matthew. 310 00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:46,826 -Hey, Matt, what's up? -What's up? 311 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,057 Can I get you something to drink? 312 00:27:49,634 --> 00:27:50,965 -Yeah. -Hey, man, what's up? 313 00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:52,966 -Can you come here for a second? -Yeah. 314 00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:55,230 No, it's cool. They're pals. 315 00:27:56,141 --> 00:27:57,403 What's up? 316 00:27:57,609 --> 00:28:00,271 Yeah, man, this party's getting kind of full, bro. 317 00:28:00,478 --> 00:28:03,811 -Yeah, so? -So you're gonna have to take off. 318 00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:06,415 -Really? -Yeah. 319 00:28:08,253 --> 00:28:11,086 Okay, but I'm with her. I mean-- 320 00:28:11,289 --> 00:28:13,257 Oh, it's cool, dude. She's taken care of. 321 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,292 There's the door. 322 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:45,585 Yo, man! 323 00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:48,156 When's Samsung getting here? 324 00:28:48,359 --> 00:28:50,919 -Samnang. -Yeah! 325 00:28:51,696 --> 00:28:53,095 I love him. 326 00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:57,462 Dude, I'm gonna do that little guy when he gets here. 327 00:28:57,669 --> 00:28:59,432 Hard. 328 00:29:00,805 --> 00:29:03,035 Cool, dude. I'm sure he'll like that. 329 00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:05,471 Sam Young! 330 00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:10,972 Excuse me. 331 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:29,632 -Dude. -I know. 332 00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:11,474 -What? -You're coming with me. Right now. 333 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:15,371 Everybody out. Let's move. 334 00:30:19,417 --> 00:30:24,218 I said out, minions! Move! Move! Faster, you little maggots. 335 00:30:26,758 --> 00:30:29,750 -So how's everything going? -Fine. 336 00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:32,521 Is everything, you know, okay at home? 337 00:30:32,730 --> 00:30:34,527 All right, what? 338 00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:36,862 Perhaps you should have a seat. 339 00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,502 Perhaps you should bite me. 340 00:30:40,071 --> 00:30:41,766 Perhaps. 341 00:30:44,776 --> 00:30:46,266 Matthew... 342 00:30:46,477 --> 00:30:49,446 ...we live in a crazy, mixed-up world. 343 00:30:49,647 --> 00:30:53,014 Crazy, but, oh, so beautiful. 344 00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:13,228 Excellent, grasshopper. 345 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:17,067 And now for the final task of your training. 346 00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:24,246 You're gonna need a harder piece of wood than that, cowboy. 347 00:31:25,650 --> 00:31:28,448 -That's not her. -Yeah, it is. 348 00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:40,256 -Oh, no. -Oh, yeah. 349 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,642 Matt! Matt! Dude, you're missing the best part. 350 00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:56,874 Fuck! Fuck! 351 00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:00,677 Settle down, tiger. I know. I know. 352 00:32:00,885 --> 00:32:02,944 It's not funny. Seriously, get away from me. 353 00:32:03,154 --> 00:32:05,554 -Dude, don't mess this up. -Mess what up? 354 00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,384 Matt, she's a porn star, okay? 355 00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:10,389 Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast. 356 00:32:10,628 --> 00:32:12,323 Eli, I like this girl. 357 00:32:12,530 --> 00:32:15,328 And you can still like her with your penis inside her. 358 00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:18,129 I'm telling you, you're gonna regret this. 359 00:32:18,336 --> 00:32:20,566 What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass. 360 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,797 Eli, I'm never gonna see her again. 361 00:32:22,907 --> 00:32:24,135 Oh, you know what? Fine. 362 00:32:24,342 --> 00:32:25,741 -Fine. -Fine! 363 00:32:26,577 --> 00:32:27,737 Goddamn it, Matt. 364 00:32:27,845 --> 00:32:30,973 I swear to God, if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! 365 00:32:31,182 --> 00:32:37,052 Matt, please. Please, Matt. Fuck her for me. For me! 366 00:32:49,067 --> 00:32:51,501 -Oh, Marci, you're so funny. -Oh, thanks. 367 00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:57,199 -I just saw you naked. -What? 368 00:32:57,408 --> 00:32:59,899 Don't worry, honey, you were only 2 days old. 369 00:33:00,111 --> 00:33:02,204 -Let's see what else we have. -Why are you here? 370 00:33:02,413 --> 00:33:03,880 I just came here to say hi. 371 00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:06,443 Hi. 372 00:33:06,684 --> 00:33:08,174 Look at this one of him. 373 00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,519 Hey, buddy. 374 00:33:19,197 --> 00:33:22,064 -That one's the best. -It is. He looks so adorable. 375 00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:24,359 He looks really-- Oh, that's such a good one. 376 00:33:24,569 --> 00:33:27,299 -Here you go, Danielle. -Oh, thanks. 377 00:33:35,113 --> 00:33:37,411 -Thattagirl. -This is a cute one. 378 00:33:37,615 --> 00:33:39,446 Oh, who's your daddy? 379 00:33:39,917 --> 00:33:43,148 So you were going to school in Los Angeles? 380 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:46,118 For a while. But then I started working on other things. 381 00:33:46,324 --> 00:33:48,588 Oh, what kind of things? 382 00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:52,059 Let me show you. 383 00:34:01,339 --> 00:34:02,636 Jesus! 384 00:34:07,278 --> 00:34:09,610 -Are you okay? -Yeah, I don't know, l.... 385 00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:11,973 I don't feel so good. 386 00:34:16,654 --> 00:34:19,145 What can I do to make you feel better? 387 00:34:34,172 --> 00:34:35,935 I think I'm feeling a lot better now. 388 00:34:36,174 --> 00:34:39,109 -We can go out another night. -No, we're going out tonight. 389 00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:42,009 -You sure? -Positive. 390 00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,814 -I don't know if I can do this. -Yes, you can. 391 00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:51,853 But tonight, be the man. 392 00:34:52,490 --> 00:34:55,516 First off, act like you don't even like her. 393 00:34:55,726 --> 00:34:58,320 -Hey. -Hey. 394 00:34:58,529 --> 00:35:03,159 Second, get her drunk. Really drunk, okay? 395 00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:05,961 That way the true porn star will come out in her. 396 00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,776 Here, I... I got us something. 397 00:35:15,813 --> 00:35:17,838 Bourbon? 398 00:35:18,049 --> 00:35:21,348 -Are you trying to get me drunk? -No, what? 399 00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:25,420 -I thought you like to rock. -"Like to rock?" 400 00:35:26,023 --> 00:35:28,583 Last and most important... 401 00:35:28,826 --> 00:35:31,056 ...always be touching her, Matt. 402 00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:33,856 That tells her you came here to get down tonight. 403 00:35:37,602 --> 00:35:39,661 What are we doing? 404 00:35:40,838 --> 00:35:42,738 Just chilling. 405 00:35:46,844 --> 00:35:48,744 Hey, look. 406 00:35:49,213 --> 00:35:50,510 MOTEL Glen Capri 407 00:35:53,384 --> 00:35:59,016 Maybe we should get a room. 408 00:36:00,057 --> 00:36:01,547 Okay. 409 00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:10,557 Here it is. 410 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,455 This is-- This is really nice. 411 00:36:32,823 --> 00:36:34,757 TV. 412 00:36:35,259 --> 00:36:36,658 Air conditioner. 413 00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:39,758 Got a little lamp there. 414 00:36:40,631 --> 00:36:42,724 Is that Monet? 415 00:36:46,704 --> 00:36:48,433 What? 416 00:36:48,906 --> 00:36:52,103 -What are you thinking? -What are you thinking? 417 00:36:55,146 --> 00:36:56,443 I don't know. 418 00:37:06,724 --> 00:37:08,316 Do you wanna fuck me? 419 00:37:15,933 --> 00:37:18,026 Come here. 420 00:37:35,353 --> 00:37:36,945 How do you want me? 421 00:37:38,689 --> 00:37:40,179 Why are you doing this? 422 00:37:41,392 --> 00:37:43,053 What? 423 00:37:43,694 --> 00:37:45,355 This. 424 00:37:47,198 --> 00:37:49,666 Isn't this what you want? 425 00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:53,027 To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel room? 426 00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:00,636 So this is what you think of me. 427 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,048 -Danielle, wait. I'm sorry. -Let me guess. 428 00:38:05,249 --> 00:38:06,841 You saw a tape, and you thought: 429 00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:09,349 "What the hell? She does it for a living, right?" 430 00:38:09,553 --> 00:38:12,818 -Eli told me to do it. -Oh, now that's a mature response. 431 00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:16,220 -Why didn't you just tell me? -Because I didn't want to, okay? 432 00:38:19,263 --> 00:38:22,027 Because I loved the way you looked at me. 433 00:38:23,501 --> 00:38:26,868 God, do you have any idea how--? 434 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:29,763 Forget it. 435 00:38:30,007 --> 00:38:33,465 -Hold on. -Fuck you. 436 00:38:47,725 --> 00:38:49,716 ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT! SAMNANG 437 00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:56,595 You're done. 438 00:39:02,773 --> 00:39:04,070 WHY DO I DESERVE THIS SCHOLARSHIP? 439 00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:26,421 Look, I'm an idiot, okay? I saw the tape, and I freaked out. 440 00:39:26,664 --> 00:39:29,428 Hi. I'm coming in. Can I come in? 441 00:39:30,868 --> 00:39:32,802 Look, I've just been crazy lately. 442 00:39:33,003 --> 00:39:36,404 I mean, the whole scholarship thing, you know, I mean.... 443 00:39:36,607 --> 00:39:38,268 It's killing me, you know? 444 00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:41,273 But I'm not even thinking about that. 445 00:39:41,512 --> 00:39:45,846 The only thing I care about is you, you know? 446 00:39:46,083 --> 00:39:48,677 All I want is just for us to go back to normal again. 447 00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:51,912 It's a real nice place you got here, D. 448 00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:54,990 I... 449 00:40:07,204 --> 00:40:08,796 Can we... 450 00:40:09,507 --> 00:40:12,271 -...talk about this later? -Yeah. 451 00:40:14,712 --> 00:40:16,145 Sure. 452 00:40:33,030 --> 00:40:34,327 I like that. 453 00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:38,033 -What? -What you said in there. 454 00:40:38,502 --> 00:40:39,867 Thanks. 455 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:46,641 Kelly. 456 00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:49,203 Matthew. 457 00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:56,515 -So you're friends with D, huh? -Yeah. 458 00:40:57,087 --> 00:41:00,853 Well, we're- We're kind of going out. 459 00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:08,224 Look at you. You are a forest fire. 460 00:41:09,033 --> 00:41:10,694 -Are we going? -Yeah. 461 00:41:11,235 --> 00:41:12,532 You coming with us? 462 00:41:12,770 --> 00:41:15,364 -Where are you going? -Can't. He's got school tomorrow. 463 00:41:15,806 --> 00:41:17,865 No, no, I'm cool. Like, where are we going? 464 00:41:45,970 --> 00:41:47,870 Hey, there. What can I get for you? 465 00:41:47,972 --> 00:41:49,940 We'll get two Scotch rocks and.... 466 00:41:50,140 --> 00:41:53,803 Make it three. Actually, I'll have a Long Island iced tea. 467 00:41:57,481 --> 00:41:58,948 So, what grade are you in, man? 468 00:41:59,049 --> 00:42:01,882 I'm a senior. But I'm about to graduate. 469 00:42:02,086 --> 00:42:04,247 Congratulations. What's next? 470 00:42:04,655 --> 00:42:06,088 Georgetown, hopefully. 471 00:42:06,624 --> 00:42:09,184 -Matthew wants to be president. -Really? 472 00:42:09,426 --> 00:42:10,916 -That's great, man. -Yeah. 473 00:42:11,161 --> 00:42:13,186 How do you two know each other? 474 00:42:13,797 --> 00:42:16,197 How do we know each other? 475 00:42:16,734 --> 00:42:20,568 -We used to work together. -So you're, like, an actor? 476 00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:24,167 No. Strictly producer. 477 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:28,277 But D and I also used to go out. Excuse me a sec. 478 00:42:30,180 --> 00:42:31,442 So you guys went out? 479 00:42:33,751 --> 00:42:35,241 Thank you. 480 00:42:35,452 --> 00:42:37,443 Look, can we just talk? 481 00:42:38,255 --> 00:42:39,517 Talk. 482 00:42:41,025 --> 00:42:43,152 I don't know if this is really the place. 483 00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:47,990 -Why? What's wrong with it? -No, nothing. It's fine, you know. 484 00:42:48,198 --> 00:42:50,132 It's one of my favorites. 485 00:42:55,072 --> 00:42:57,370 Hey, you got one for me? 486 00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:08,046 -What are you doing? -What? 487 00:43:08,285 --> 00:43:09,775 Here. 488 00:43:11,355 --> 00:43:13,516 And you turn it like so: 489 00:43:20,164 --> 00:43:24,396 -Hey, where are you going? -The bathroom. Is that okay? 490 00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,399 Yeah. 491 00:43:29,673 --> 00:43:32,005 So you're really into her, huh? 492 00:43:32,209 --> 00:43:36,305 Hey. I get it, man, believe me. She's gorgeous. 493 00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:39,180 I just think you'd want someone more your age. 494 00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:44,145 -She's my age. -Yeah, I meant experience-wise. 495 00:43:44,355 --> 00:43:46,016 No offense. 496 00:43:47,224 --> 00:43:49,818 Don't worry about it. I'm gonna take care of you. 497 00:43:51,762 --> 00:43:54,162 Oh, my God. That's Mr. Peterson. 498 00:43:54,398 --> 00:43:55,532 That's my dad's friend. 499 00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:57,693 He comes over all the time with his wife. 500 00:43:58,202 --> 00:43:59,499 Really? 501 00:43:59,837 --> 00:44:00,667 Hey, Peterson. 502 00:44:00,771 --> 00:44:04,002 What? Dude, what are you doing, man? 503 00:44:04,241 --> 00:44:06,732 Yeah, you. Get over here. 504 00:44:07,111 --> 00:44:11,207 Goddamn, Peterson, haven't seen your black ass in ages. 505 00:44:11,448 --> 00:44:14,576 -Do I know you? -What the fuck's your problem? 506 00:44:14,852 --> 00:44:18,219 -l.... -Just fucking with you, man. 507 00:44:19,056 --> 00:44:21,957 Hey, you know my friend Matty here, right? 508 00:44:26,597 --> 00:44:31,227 -Matthew. Hi. -Peterson, this is Matty's first time. 509 00:44:31,435 --> 00:44:34,427 Why don't you buy him a dance. 510 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:43,207 So did you hear about that scholarship yet? 511 00:44:45,382 --> 00:44:47,350 No, big dinner's on Thursday. 512 00:44:51,422 --> 00:44:55,654 So, what's it for again? 513 00:44:55,893 --> 00:44:57,952 The scholarship. 514 00:44:59,129 --> 00:45:01,120 It's for... 515 00:45:01,331 --> 00:45:03,492 ...moral fiber. 516 00:45:06,270 --> 00:45:09,103 Me? A Teenage Daddy? 517 00:45:09,339 --> 00:45:11,864 Who is this guy? Is he a porn producer? 518 00:45:11,975 --> 00:45:14,000 Klitz, shut up. Now, the strippers. 519 00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:17,578 When you get a lap dance, were they cool with you grabbing their ass? 520 00:45:17,781 --> 00:45:19,840 Dude. I'm trying to talk about Danielle here. 521 00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:22,610 Fine. Selfish bitch. 522 00:45:22,820 --> 00:45:26,756 For teenagers, sexual intercourse can be dangerous. 523 00:45:26,990 --> 00:45:28,582 Jesus, what hack made this? 524 00:45:28,826 --> 00:45:31,624 I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom. 525 00:45:31,829 --> 00:45:33,626 Why don't they update this thing? 526 00:45:33,964 --> 00:45:36,125 Special events, such as your senior prom... 527 00:45:36,333 --> 00:45:39,496 ...place added pressure on young teens to lose their virginity... 528 00:45:39,703 --> 00:45:42,171 ...and also engage in unprotected sex. 529 00:45:42,439 --> 00:45:44,168 9 months later... 530 00:45:45,709 --> 00:45:47,506 -Hello? -Hey, Bob. 531 00:45:47,711 --> 00:45:48,905 We're all going to the creek tonight. 532 00:45:49,012 --> 00:45:51,913 It's gonna be a gas. You're coming, right? 533 00:45:52,082 --> 00:45:54,175 I can't, guys. 534 00:45:55,152 --> 00:45:58,280 I have a baby now. 535 00:45:59,690 --> 00:46:01,954 Because of prom. 536 00:46:02,392 --> 00:46:03,984 Dude. 537 00:46:05,696 --> 00:46:08,927 -What? -Yeah, right. 538 00:46:09,466 --> 00:46:13,562 -You guys ever thought about it? -No. 539 00:46:15,205 --> 00:46:17,196 I just think you guys would be really hot. 540 00:46:17,407 --> 00:46:19,170 -You girls are 18, right? -I am. 541 00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:21,367 -I will be in a month. -Really? 542 00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:23,978 -You ever been photographed? -A couple of times. 543 00:46:24,181 --> 00:46:26,547 Hey, you guys know Matty? 544 00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:29,651 I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits. 545 00:46:30,187 --> 00:46:32,451 Here's my man. 546 00:46:33,023 --> 00:46:36,049 -How you doing? -What's up, fellas? 547 00:46:38,929 --> 00:46:41,898 Matty, you didn't tell me you got some serious burners... 548 00:46:41,999 --> 00:46:43,023 ...at your school here. 549 00:46:43,233 --> 00:46:45,098 Oh, shut up. You did not say that 550 00:46:45,302 --> 00:46:48,032 Hey, you know who's got the killer bud? 551 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,565 This fucker right here. 552 00:46:54,044 --> 00:46:56,342 -What are you talking about? -Yeah, come on. 553 00:46:56,547 --> 00:46:58,344 Yeah, you have some? 554 00:46:58,549 --> 00:47:00,039 Yeah, come on. 555 00:47:00,417 --> 00:47:03,045 -Holy shit. -You guys should party. 556 00:47:03,287 --> 00:47:05,380 -Can l--? -All right, we're out. 557 00:47:05,622 --> 00:47:07,715 -Hold on a sec. -Where are you guys going? 558 00:47:07,925 --> 00:47:10,018 -We got things to do. -Do you wanna hang out? 559 00:47:10,227 --> 00:47:14,027 -Hop in, fellas. -Aren't you gonna photograph us? 560 00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:18,764 Always leave them wanting more. 561 00:47:18,969 --> 00:47:20,732 Punch it! 562 00:47:36,420 --> 00:47:39,719 Man, there is some talent here. 563 00:47:40,457 --> 00:47:43,392 You get those girls together with those ass-bags there... 564 00:47:43,594 --> 00:47:45,892 ...shoot them humping at, like, a football... 565 00:47:45,996 --> 00:47:48,396 ...game or at a prom, that video would sell. 566 00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:50,590 Fuck, I'm good! 567 00:47:50,801 --> 00:47:54,965 How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? 568 00:47:55,172 --> 00:47:56,605 It's like I can't control it. 569 00:48:00,611 --> 00:48:04,274 So, what are we doing, man? 570 00:48:08,118 --> 00:48:10,416 You know, you really didn't have to come with me. 571 00:48:10,621 --> 00:48:14,352 It's cool. I like running errands. 572 00:48:15,692 --> 00:48:18,991 So you raised 25 G's just to bring this Chinese guy over. 573 00:48:19,196 --> 00:48:21,323 No, he's Cambodian. 574 00:48:21,698 --> 00:48:25,156 Okay, so that's 25,000 total deposited... 575 00:48:25,369 --> 00:48:27,929 ...into the Operation Get Samnang account. 576 00:48:28,305 --> 00:48:30,637 Hey, so you raised all the money you needed. 577 00:48:30,841 --> 00:48:32,468 -Congratulations. -Thanks. 578 00:48:32,676 --> 00:48:34,837 So is this Samnang really as smart as they say? 579 00:48:35,045 --> 00:48:37,878 Well, he did teach himself calculus without even using... 580 00:48:37,981 --> 00:48:39,471 ..his textbooks, so.... 581 00:48:39,683 --> 00:48:43,585 Those crazy little fuckers, man. They sure know their numbers. 582 00:48:46,189 --> 00:48:48,992 Jeannie, this is my-- This is my student advisor. 583 00:48:48,992 --> 00:48:50,427 They really compliment your coloring. 584 00:48:50,427 --> 00:48:52,395 Oh, you're Mr. Salinger? 585 00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:56,164 Just here to make sure everything's up to par. Wow. 586 00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,301 -What? -I love those earrings. 587 00:48:59,569 --> 00:48:59,830 Oh, thank you. 588 00:49:02,506 --> 00:49:04,497 Thanks. I just got back from Cabo. 589 00:49:04,741 --> 00:49:06,140 -Did you? -Yeah. 590 00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:09,141 Okay, well, we gotta go. Thanks, Jeannie. 591 00:49:10,447 --> 00:49:12,540 Man, what were you doing--? 592 00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:14,842 There's a bar, you sit with the people. 593 00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:15,850 You have been there. 594 00:49:16,053 --> 00:49:18,146 -See? I knew it. -No, no. 595 00:49:18,355 --> 00:49:21,483 -This guy is unbelievable. -You. 596 00:49:30,867 --> 00:49:33,495 -Where you guys going? -Vegas, baby. 597 00:49:33,704 --> 00:49:38,607 We got the convention. Gotta press the flesh, meet the fans. 598 00:49:38,809 --> 00:49:41,710 So that's it? You're just going back? 599 00:49:41,912 --> 00:49:43,903 I don't belong here. 600 00:49:44,114 --> 00:49:47,743 What do you--? What do you mean? What about starting over? 601 00:49:48,385 --> 00:49:49,750 This is what I am. 602 00:49:53,390 --> 00:49:56,154 All right, D, let's roll. 603 00:50:14,077 --> 00:50:17,604 -Dude, it's not your fault. -No, it is my fault. 604 00:50:18,115 --> 00:50:21,243 If I hadn't been such a dick and taken her to that motel room.... 605 00:50:21,451 --> 00:50:23,817 Yeah, it was a little forward, don't you think? 606 00:50:24,988 --> 00:50:26,478 -Dude. -What? 607 00:50:26,723 --> 00:50:29,385 Matt, the point is, she made her decision. 608 00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:32,260 There's nothing you can do about it now. 609 00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:38,900 Yeah, there is. 610 00:50:46,343 --> 00:50:47,640 -Hey, Dad? -Don't wait up. 611 00:50:47,844 --> 00:50:50,108 -I'll be late tonight. -I'll watch it tomorrow. 612 00:50:50,313 --> 00:50:53,578 -Shark Week is all week long. -God, I just wanna bang hot chicks. 613 00:51:05,762 --> 00:51:11,860 LAS VEGAS WELCOMES THE ADULT FILM CONVENTION 614 00:51:41,865 --> 00:51:44,663 -Move it. -Sorry. 615 00:51:45,602 --> 00:51:46,899 Big smile. 616 00:51:49,005 --> 00:51:50,973 -Sasha! -Sasha! 617 00:51:57,547 --> 00:52:00,516 -Yo, man, no press. -No, no. No, I'm not press. 618 00:52:00,917 --> 00:52:02,407 I'm still in high school, okay? 619 00:52:02,519 --> 00:52:04,419 This is for my high school video yearbook. 620 00:52:04,621 --> 00:52:05,918 I swear to God. 621 00:52:09,526 --> 00:52:10,993 That's right, bitch. 622 00:52:17,334 --> 00:52:18,892 Jesus, is that her? 623 00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:20,398 Athena. 624 00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:42,891 Give me a second, guys. 625 00:52:43,126 --> 00:52:44,753 -Athena! -Athena! 626 00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:47,225 -Danielle. -Athena! Athena! 627 00:52:47,430 --> 00:52:49,523 -Danielle. -Come on! Athena, right here! 628 00:52:49,733 --> 00:52:53,191 -Work it, Athena. -You are so hot, Athena. 629 00:52:55,939 --> 00:53:00,273 -Look, I'm sorry. I had to come. -Asshole, I'm next. 630 00:53:01,144 --> 00:53:03,908 -I feel like this is all my fault. -Who is this guy? 631 00:53:04,814 --> 00:53:08,716 -Will you at least look at me? -Bend over. 632 00:53:08,952 --> 00:53:11,420 You're the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? 633 00:53:11,655 --> 00:53:13,555 -Me too! -Oh, Danielle. 634 00:53:13,790 --> 00:53:15,655 He's so sweet. 635 00:53:19,129 --> 00:53:20,653 Danielle. 636 00:53:20,931 --> 00:53:23,399 Nice job, dickwad. 637 00:53:23,633 --> 00:53:26,261 -Danielle. -Hey, man, get me out of this thing. 638 00:53:26,469 --> 00:53:28,096 -Take me with you, dude. -Danielle. 639 00:53:28,305 --> 00:53:30,865 Just leave me alone, please. 640 00:53:31,274 --> 00:53:33,242 Danielle. 641 00:53:34,711 --> 00:53:38,112 -Danielle, Danielle. -Hugo, hi. 642 00:53:38,315 --> 00:53:40,875 Look at you. You look fantastic. 643 00:53:43,987 --> 00:53:46,251 Just starting out, and everyone knows your name. 644 00:53:46,456 --> 00:53:47,980 No, they don't. 645 00:53:48,191 --> 00:53:50,523 -So how's Kelly treating you? -Okay. 646 00:53:50,727 --> 00:53:52,752 Just okay? 647 00:53:52,996 --> 00:53:55,123 Danielle, what do we know? 648 00:53:55,966 --> 00:53:59,766 What do we know? We know that you should be with me. 649 00:53:59,970 --> 00:54:03,929 At the top. Where the air is crisp. 650 00:54:04,140 --> 00:54:06,165 -Nice tan. -Kelly. 651 00:54:06,376 --> 00:54:09,277 -What do we say? -Fuck you. 652 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:12,511 Always with the big words. 653 00:54:12,716 --> 00:54:16,447 Danielle, where the air is crisp. 654 00:54:18,321 --> 00:54:21,484 -What does that mean? -Nothing. He's just being Hugo. 655 00:54:22,058 --> 00:54:24,720 Matty. What are you doing here? 656 00:54:26,963 --> 00:54:30,023 Look, Kelly, no offense, but l really don't think Danielle... 657 00:54:30,233 --> 00:54:31,666 ...wants to be here right now. 658 00:54:36,339 --> 00:54:39,706 Matthew, please just go home, okay? 659 00:54:41,745 --> 00:54:43,576 Hey, D. 660 00:54:45,015 --> 00:54:48,507 I'm sorry, man. Come on. Let's get out of here. 661 00:54:52,756 --> 00:54:54,348 What's up? 662 00:54:55,425 --> 00:54:57,325 It's not cute anymore. 663 00:54:57,527 --> 00:54:59,757 -What? -Stop filling her head with that-- 664 00:54:59,996 --> 00:55:03,488 -Do not piss me off. -Hey, I thought we were friends. 665 00:55:04,901 --> 00:55:07,062 Friends don't fuck with each other's business. 666 00:55:07,270 --> 00:55:10,171 And that's what this is, my fucking business. 667 00:55:13,243 --> 00:55:14,608 What? 668 00:55:15,745 --> 00:55:17,906 What are you gonna do? 669 00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:26,221 Yeah, that's what I thought. Stay the fuck away from her. 670 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:32,856 Matt, seriously, man, it's 2:00 in the morning. 671 00:55:33,063 --> 00:55:36,590 What about your thing tomorrow? Okay, the scholarship dinner? 672 00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:39,863 Sorry, I gotta do this. 673 00:55:45,442 --> 00:55:48,900 Oh, by the way, if things get bad, just bolt, okay? 674 00:55:49,112 --> 00:55:51,137 What? What do you mean, "if things get bad"? 675 00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:52,645 Just bolt. 676 00:55:53,483 --> 00:55:54,245 Wait, what's he talking about? 677 00:55:58,588 --> 00:56:00,818 You wanna get me a drink? No, I'm just kidding. 678 00:56:13,169 --> 00:56:14,466 Hi. 679 00:56:20,110 --> 00:56:21,509 Dude... 680 00:56:21,711 --> 00:56:23,303 ...am I ugly? 681 00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:28,114 What? No. No, man, you're fine. Just relax. 682 00:56:28,318 --> 00:56:30,115 No, I'm ugly. I know it. 683 00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:35,916 -So, what do you guys do? -I get freaky. 684 00:56:38,661 --> 00:56:41,289 -We're directors. -Really? 685 00:56:41,531 --> 00:56:44,557 Would you guys ever wanna use me in one of your movies? 686 00:56:45,902 --> 00:56:47,529 Hell, yeah, we'll use you. 687 00:56:47,737 --> 00:56:51,764 Baby, I'll do things to you I wouldn't do to a farm animal. 688 00:56:52,008 --> 00:56:55,774 -What the fuck did you just say? -Honey. These guys are directors. 689 00:56:55,979 --> 00:56:58,641 -And they wanna use me. -Use you? 690 00:56:58,848 --> 00:57:01,646 Guys, this is my boyfriend, Mule. 691 00:57:04,721 --> 00:57:06,154 Hi, Mule. 692 00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:11,725 Let's do it. 693 00:57:12,829 --> 00:57:16,128 Man, you gotta use my girl, bro. She's so good. 694 00:57:16,332 --> 00:57:18,027 I am. I really am. 695 00:57:18,501 --> 00:57:21,834 -You wanna give her a throw? -Yeah, try me out. 696 00:57:22,772 --> 00:57:24,899 No, you know, no, I'm okay, though, thank you. 697 00:57:25,141 --> 00:57:27,666 Well, come on. At least feel her tits. 698 00:57:28,711 --> 00:57:31,009 I'm okay. I can't. Thank you, though. 699 00:57:31,714 --> 00:57:34,615 Fuck it. I'll feel one. 700 00:57:45,795 --> 00:57:47,228 We're all set for tomorrow. 701 00:57:47,330 --> 00:57:51,232 Athena will be there, ready to shoot. Right, babe? 702 00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:56,568 Not bad, huh? Suckers cost me 6 grand. 703 00:57:56,773 --> 00:58:00,231 Yo, Mule, what the hell are you doing? 704 00:58:00,743 --> 00:58:05,442 Steel, check it out, man. These guys are directors. 705 00:58:05,782 --> 00:58:07,010 Man, these punks ain't directors. 706 00:58:07,116 --> 00:58:10,017 They're in high school, you idiot. 707 00:58:12,188 --> 00:58:14,281 Okay, here's the thing-- 708 00:58:21,965 --> 00:58:24,263 Oh, shit! 709 00:58:27,103 --> 00:58:28,968 -Come on, Klitz, come on. -Get off. 710 00:58:38,748 --> 00:58:40,773 Matty, time to go, time to go. Time to go. 711 00:58:40,984 --> 00:58:43,043 -What happened? -lt got bad. Bolt. Bolt! 712 00:58:43,419 --> 00:58:45,546 -Dude, wait up. -Fuck you, dude! 713 00:58:53,129 --> 00:58:54,118 Excuse me. 714 00:58:54,230 --> 00:58:57,461 I just wanna let you know, I know who you really are. 715 00:59:00,036 --> 00:59:02,732 And you're better than this. 716 00:59:39,876 --> 00:59:41,776 IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM.... 717 00:59:42,879 --> 00:59:44,813 Yeah? 718 00:59:52,155 --> 00:59:53,554 Need a ride to school? 719 00:59:57,927 --> 01:00:01,624 It's all you now. I mean, now you can do whatever you want. 720 01:00:02,832 --> 01:00:04,663 Why do you believe in me so much? 721 01:00:05,535 --> 01:00:07,503 I don't know. Maybe I'm stupid. 722 01:00:12,375 --> 01:00:16,038 -Good luck tonight. -Thanks. 723 01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:19,412 -Bye. -Bye. 724 01:00:35,264 --> 01:00:36,822 Will you go to prom with me? 725 01:00:39,435 --> 01:00:40,925 What? 726 01:00:46,342 --> 01:00:48,674 I would love to. 727 01:00:52,081 --> 01:00:55,346 Now for the scientific explanation. Anybody? 728 01:00:55,551 --> 01:00:57,382 JOHN F. KENNEDY once said: ASK NOT.... 729 01:00:59,722 --> 01:01:01,917 That's your speech? 730 01:01:02,759 --> 01:01:04,454 Yeah. 731 01:01:04,927 --> 01:01:07,054 You ready for tonight? 732 01:01:08,264 --> 01:01:10,425 Hey, don't worry, man. You're gonna be great. 733 01:01:10,967 --> 01:01:12,730 I have to be. 734 01:01:25,148 --> 01:01:26,911 That bitch can't just run away because... 735 01:01:27,016 --> 01:01:28,881 ...she don't wanna fuck on film anymore. 736 01:01:29,085 --> 01:01:30,712 May I help you? 737 01:01:32,655 --> 01:01:35,146 -Get up. -Okay, okay. 738 01:01:43,666 --> 01:01:45,896 Stay in school. 739 01:01:49,505 --> 01:01:52,338 Look, I have the most important dinner of my life tonight... 740 01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:54,066 ...so wherever we're going, you know... 741 01:01:54,177 --> 01:01:56,077 ...we just have to be home by 6. 742 01:01:56,279 --> 01:01:58,474 Just so you know. 743 01:02:00,283 --> 01:02:02,649 Here he comes. 744 01:02:04,687 --> 01:02:07,247 -It's a cool ride, huh? -Yeah, if you're a fag. 745 01:02:07,457 --> 01:02:10,585 -Jesus! -It's cool, it's cool. 746 01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:12,525 Get in. 747 01:02:24,707 --> 01:02:27,505 -Where are we going? -I thought you were cool, man. 748 01:02:27,710 --> 01:02:29,837 I tried to be your friend, and what do you do? 749 01:02:30,046 --> 01:02:31,775 -You fuck me. -I didn't fuck you. 750 01:02:31,981 --> 01:02:34,449 She didn't show up on set because of what you said. 751 01:02:34,650 --> 01:02:36,140 Now I'm out 30 grand. 752 01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:41,422 -Guess who's paying me back. -What? I don't have 30 grand. 753 01:02:41,657 --> 01:02:44,455 -Get your folks to help. -They don't have that kind of money. 754 01:02:44,660 --> 01:02:50,462 Look, Kelly, I'm a problem solver, all right? This is what I do. Okay? 755 01:02:50,666 --> 01:02:54,727 Let's just-- Let's just think outside of the box here. 756 01:02:55,238 --> 01:02:57,433 Look, she'll get a job, I'll keep mowing... 757 01:02:57,540 --> 01:03:00,168 ...lawns, and over time we'll pay it down. 758 01:03:00,376 --> 01:03:03,004 You know? This can work. We can do this. 759 01:03:03,212 --> 01:03:05,680 It'll be like a payment plan. 760 01:03:13,289 --> 01:03:16,156 -You really care about her, huh? -Yeah, I really do. 761 01:03:16,359 --> 01:03:19,851 Yeah, I don't know. If I'm gonna do this payment-plan thing... 762 01:03:20,062 --> 01:03:22,326 ...I need a show of good faith, you know? 763 01:03:22,565 --> 01:03:26,023 -Something concrete. -Well, like what? 764 01:03:28,204 --> 01:03:29,535 A blowjob. 765 01:03:31,874 --> 01:03:34,104 No. I told you she's not gonna do that anymore. 766 01:03:35,044 --> 01:03:37,069 Who said anything about her? 767 01:03:40,783 --> 01:03:44,742 Yeah, we're definitely outside the box now, huh? 768 01:03:45,588 --> 01:03:50,025 Now, you gotta ask yourself, how far are you willing to go? 769 01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:54,922 How much do you really care about her? 770 01:04:00,102 --> 01:04:01,729 I'm joking, man. 771 01:04:04,407 --> 01:04:05,772 Relax. 772 01:04:07,410 --> 01:04:10,379 -Damn. Do I look gay to you? -No, but, Jesus-- 773 01:04:18,654 --> 01:04:19,780 You wanna be president? 774 01:04:19,889 --> 01:04:22,255 Let me tell you the first rule of politics: 775 01:04:22,458 --> 01:04:26,792 Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. 776 01:04:26,996 --> 01:04:29,965 You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl... 777 01:04:30,166 --> 01:04:32,532 ...unless you're ready to accept the consequences. 778 01:04:38,341 --> 01:04:40,571 All right, I'm sorry, okay? 779 01:04:43,579 --> 01:04:46,480 That's gonna swell up like a bitch. Here, take this. 780 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,188 I'm telling you, it's gonna hurt like shit. 781 01:04:59,395 --> 01:05:05,356 I'm sorry I got upset. I felt taken advantage of. 782 01:05:05,801 --> 01:05:09,328 Look, I'm not gonna be a dick. I know she loves you. 783 01:05:09,605 --> 01:05:11,869 I'm gonna leave you guys alone. 784 01:05:11,974 --> 01:05:14,135 But now you're doing something for me. 785 01:05:24,754 --> 01:05:27,382 Remember that ass-bag, Hugo, from the convention? 786 01:05:27,657 --> 01:05:29,887 We used to be partners a long time ago. 787 01:05:30,126 --> 01:05:33,095 One day, I had this killer idea to make films set... 788 01:05:33,195 --> 01:05:34,093 ...in real-life situations. 789 01:05:34,330 --> 01:05:37,390 You know, Real World porn. 790 01:05:37,633 --> 01:05:40,500 I told the idea to Hugo. He says he'll think about it. 791 01:05:40,703 --> 01:05:42,796 And what does that motherfucker do? 792 01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:46,566 Takes my best girl, starts his own company with my idea... 793 01:05:46,776 --> 01:05:49,108 ...and the guy makes millions. 794 01:05:49,345 --> 01:05:50,573 It's not the money that pisses me off. 795 01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:52,875 I mean, fuck, it does piss me off... 796 01:05:53,082 --> 01:05:55,050 ...but that's not it. It's the perception. 797 01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:58,084 Everybody thinks Hugo's the genius. It was my idea. 798 01:05:58,287 --> 01:06:02,053 It's like he's Simon, and I'm Garfunkel. 799 01:06:02,858 --> 01:06:07,192 Look at me, man. I'm fucking Garfunkel. 800 01:06:10,166 --> 01:06:15,263 -Look, seriously, I can't do this. -Don't be a pussy. Nobody's home. 801 01:06:20,276 --> 01:06:23,677 -Why do you want this thing so bad? -Because it should've been mine. 802 01:06:23,913 --> 01:06:26,211 -I'll grab it and leave. -You don't understand... 803 01:06:26,415 --> 01:06:28,349 ...I have to be at a dinner in an hour. 804 01:06:28,451 --> 01:06:30,351 My whole life depends on it. 805 01:06:30,553 --> 01:06:32,282 You want me out of Danielle's life? 806 01:06:32,388 --> 01:06:33,616 Yes, I do. 807 01:06:33,823 --> 01:06:36,348 -Then let's go. -But wait, seriously. 808 01:06:36,559 --> 01:06:38,618 Sometimes, if you wanna do something good... 809 01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:40,728 ...you gotta do something bad. 810 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:43,264 Yeah, but this is breaking and entering. 811 01:06:43,466 --> 01:06:45,866 This is politics. 812 01:06:50,206 --> 01:06:51,639 Hey. 813 01:06:51,841 --> 01:06:54,605 After this, we're cool, okay? 814 01:06:56,846 --> 01:06:59,280 You're all right, man. 815 01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:28,704 Yes. 816 01:07:29,011 --> 01:07:30,774 I'd like to report a robbery. 817 01:07:40,189 --> 01:07:42,350 AVN BEST PICTURE 1999 "CHITTY CHITTY GANG BANG" 818 01:07:42,558 --> 01:07:43,820 HUGO POSH PRODUCER 819 01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:47,294 Bang me. 820 01:07:49,265 --> 01:07:50,926 Cradle the balls. 821 01:08:03,512 --> 01:08:06,140 Stop! Stop! Help me! 822 01:08:06,382 --> 01:08:08,976 Help! Oh, fuck! 823 01:08:13,522 --> 01:08:15,285 Wait! 824 01:08:15,491 --> 01:08:16,822 Come on! 825 01:08:35,878 --> 01:08:37,812 Okay, so what time does the dinner start? 826 01:08:38,013 --> 01:08:39,344 Six o'clock. 827 01:08:39,548 --> 01:08:42,483 -Why? What time is it now? -6:30. 828 01:08:42,718 --> 01:08:45,050 -Oh, my God. -Dude, don't worry, all right? 829 01:08:45,254 --> 01:08:47,518 We'll get there. You know what? Try and-- 830 01:08:47,723 --> 01:08:51,591 -Dude, what are you doing? -I don't know. I just... 831 01:08:52,595 --> 01:08:54,426 ...feel so good. 832 01:09:03,272 --> 01:09:05,240 Oh, my God. 833 01:09:06,842 --> 01:09:08,935 I just feel so weird. 834 01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:11,443 Don't worry. Ecstasy is not that bad. 835 01:09:11,714 --> 01:09:14,683 -What? -Kelly likes dosing people with E. 836 01:09:15,751 --> 01:09:18,219 Oh, my God. Am I gonna die? 837 01:09:18,420 --> 01:09:22,447 No, no, no. It's okay, Matt. You're gonna be fine. I promise. 838 01:09:22,725 --> 01:09:26,388 You're such a good friend, Klitzy. I love you. 839 01:09:26,629 --> 01:09:28,722 I love you so much. 840 01:09:30,132 --> 01:09:32,066 This is gonna be amazing. 841 01:09:33,469 --> 01:09:35,334 Wait a second. 842 01:09:35,571 --> 01:09:37,436 Oh, my God. 843 01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,631 WELCOME TO THE SHERIDAN SCHOLARSHIP BANQUET 844 01:09:42,178 --> 01:09:44,772 You don't understand. It's really kicking in right now. 845 01:09:44,980 --> 01:09:47,107 Just try not to talk so much, okay? 846 01:09:47,216 --> 01:09:49,116 Talk so much? I'm giving a speech. 847 01:09:49,318 --> 01:09:51,411 -It's okay. Just go with it. -Wait, wait. 848 01:09:51,620 --> 01:09:52,587 In a few minutes, we'll begin the speeches, and we hope.... 849 01:10:02,765 --> 01:10:04,426 Thank you again for coming to what... 850 01:10:04,533 --> 01:10:07,434 ...promises to be a very eventful evening. 851 01:10:10,005 --> 01:10:11,666 Matthew Kidman? 852 01:10:15,911 --> 01:10:17,242 My competition. 853 01:10:17,446 --> 01:10:20,779 -Hey, what's up, Ryan? -Jesus, what happened to you? 854 01:10:20,983 --> 01:10:23,474 Just living life, my man. 855 01:10:23,686 --> 01:10:25,620 Mina, how are you? 856 01:10:25,821 --> 01:10:27,755 Okay. Just a little nervous. 857 01:10:27,957 --> 01:10:30,289 But you're a little temptress, though, aren't you? 858 01:10:37,666 --> 01:10:39,327 Hey, buddy. How you doing? 859 01:10:39,535 --> 01:10:42,595 Hey. Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. 860 01:11:06,762 --> 01:11:09,128 Hey, there's the big daddy. 861 01:11:09,365 --> 01:11:11,925 Matthew, what has been going on with you? 862 01:11:12,167 --> 01:11:13,862 Some serious shit. 863 01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:16,970 But, Jesus, man, it's good to see you. 864 01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:19,504 Will you excuse us, please? 865 01:11:21,210 --> 01:11:22,541 Oh, my God. Am I blowing it? 866 01:11:22,745 --> 01:11:24,542 Just try and control yourself. 867 01:11:24,747 --> 01:11:28,012 -Just breathe, okay? -All right. 868 01:11:32,921 --> 01:11:35,481 I have learned a lot from my teachers. 869 01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:39,959 But my best teacher has always been my mother... 870 01:11:40,195 --> 01:11:42,857 ...a woman who worked three jobs trying to support me... 871 01:11:43,065 --> 01:11:45,192 ...ever since I was a little nina. 872 01:11:45,401 --> 01:11:48,370 I will never forget the day she said to me: 873 01:11:51,607 --> 01:11:54,371 And that is why I have always tried to answer the call... 874 01:11:54,576 --> 01:11:56,237 ...of the great John F. Kennedy... 875 01:11:56,445 --> 01:12:00,040 ...who urged us to "Ask not what your country"-- 876 01:12:09,658 --> 01:12:11,523 Let's see here.... 877 01:12:11,727 --> 01:12:13,957 I can't speak a foreign language... 878 01:12:14,163 --> 01:12:15,494 ...so that's out. 879 01:12:15,731 --> 01:12:19,565 And l-- I certainly can't quote J.F.K. now... 880 01:12:19,768 --> 01:12:22,293 ...can l, Ryan? You know what? 881 01:12:22,538 --> 01:12:25,564 It's funny, I have this whole speech prepared... 882 01:12:25,774 --> 01:12:28,299 ...and I've been practicing for weeks... 883 01:12:28,544 --> 01:12:30,375 ...but you know what? 884 01:12:30,579 --> 01:12:32,046 I'm just gonna go with it. 885 01:12:35,150 --> 01:12:37,710 Moral fiber. 886 01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:40,548 So, what is moral fiber? I mean.... 887 01:12:40,756 --> 01:12:44,123 It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth... 888 01:12:44,326 --> 01:12:45,918 ...doing good deeds. 889 01:12:46,128 --> 01:12:48,596 You know, basically being a fucking Boy Scout. 890 01:12:50,432 --> 01:12:52,798 But lately, I've been seeing it differently. 891 01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:56,103 Now I think that moral fiber's about... 892 01:12:56,305 --> 01:12:58,603 ...finding that one thing you really care about. 893 01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:01,365 That one special thing that means more... 894 01:13:01,477 --> 01:13:03,843 ...to you than anything else in the world. 895 01:13:05,614 --> 01:13:06,911 And when you find her... 896 01:13:08,283 --> 01:13:11,480 ...you fight for her. You risk it all. 897 01:13:12,020 --> 01:13:12,020 You put her in front of everything... 898 01:13:12,020 --> 01:13:15,820 ...your future, your life... 899 01:13:16,024 --> 01:13:17,651 ...all of it. 900 01:13:18,594 --> 01:13:22,257 And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. 901 01:13:22,998 --> 01:13:24,659 You know what? It doesn't matter. 902 01:13:26,969 --> 01:13:29,062 Because in your heart you know... 903 01:13:29,905 --> 01:13:31,964 ...that the juice is worth the squeeze. 904 01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:36,808 That's what moral fiber's all about. 905 01:14:00,569 --> 01:14:03,367 First, I'd just like to commend the candidates on... 906 01:14:03,472 --> 01:14:05,633 ...their impressive remarks. 907 01:14:06,742 --> 01:14:09,905 This year was a very tough decision. 908 01:14:10,345 --> 01:14:14,679 And as much as we'd love to give you all scholarships, we can't. 909 01:14:15,050 --> 01:14:18,315 And so I am proud to announce the winner... 910 01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:20,647 ...of this year's Sheridan scholarship: 911 01:14:26,061 --> 01:14:28,723 Ryan Winger. 912 01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,370 Oh, God, what happened? 913 01:15:12,407 --> 01:15:14,102 Yeah, I slipped. 914 01:15:14,309 --> 01:15:16,903 Listen, Jeannie, Samnang's coming on Monday. 915 01:15:17,112 --> 01:15:19,546 -I know. How exciting. -Yeah. 916 01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,716 So I'm gonna need to close out the account. 917 01:15:21,950 --> 01:15:23,577 What do you mean? 918 01:15:23,785 --> 01:15:26,219 I mean I'm gonna need to close out the account. 919 01:15:26,421 --> 01:15:29,288 -But it's already closed. -What are you talking about? 920 01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:32,426 Your teacher came by yesterday and cleared out the account. 921 01:15:32,661 --> 01:15:33,992 Who? What-- What teacher? 922 01:15:34,229 --> 01:15:35,890 Your student advisor. Mr. Salinger. 923 01:15:35,998 --> 01:15:37,898 The one you were with the other day. 924 01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:41,466 Mr. Salinger? What are you--? 925 01:15:51,380 --> 01:15:53,575 Cambodia 926 01:15:53,815 --> 01:15:56,340 Samnang, what's wrong, my son? 927 01:15:56,785 --> 01:15:58,810 That Matthew Kidman. 928 01:15:59,021 --> 01:16:04,186 He fucked me, Mom. He fucked me so bad. 929 01:16:04,393 --> 01:16:05,985 Son of a bitch. 930 01:16:09,298 --> 01:16:10,595 Oh, my God. 931 01:16:11,066 --> 01:16:12,658 -What's wrong? -Jeannie... 932 01:16:13,635 --> 01:16:15,364 ...didn't you ask for ID or anything? 933 01:16:16,471 --> 01:16:19,372 You said he was your student advisor. 934 01:16:19,474 --> 01:16:20,771 Oh, my God. 935 01:16:23,011 --> 01:16:25,377 -Jeannie, where are you going? -To get the manager. 936 01:16:25,647 --> 01:16:27,137 No, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. 937 01:16:28,183 --> 01:16:29,445 Matthew, what's going on? 938 01:16:29,985 --> 01:16:31,680 Look... 939 01:16:32,487 --> 01:16:34,512 ...that guy wasn't my student advisor. 940 01:16:35,857 --> 01:16:38,849 No, I know, I know. I can get the money back. 941 01:16:39,061 --> 01:16:42,792 We just need to keep this between me and you for now, okay? 942 01:16:43,398 --> 01:16:46,526 That's a great blouse, by the way. Have you lost weight? 943 01:16:46,868 --> 01:16:48,665 No? No, wait, wait. 944 01:16:49,805 --> 01:16:51,033 Jeannie. 945 01:16:52,674 --> 01:16:55,575 You think about this. This is your fault too. Right? 946 01:16:55,811 --> 01:16:58,302 You didn't ask for ID. You didn't do anything. 947 01:16:58,547 --> 01:17:00,515 And I saw you flirting with him too... 948 01:17:00,616 --> 01:17:01,708 ...all right? So unprofessional. 949 01:17:01,917 --> 01:17:03,851 You'll lose your job over this. 950 01:17:03,952 --> 01:17:05,214 Don't threaten me, you little shit. 951 01:17:05,420 --> 01:17:07,354 I could give a fuck about you and your rice boy. 952 01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:08,821 I'm not getting fired. 953 01:17:09,057 --> 01:17:11,924 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Just-- Please, l.... 954 01:17:12,127 --> 01:17:14,322 Just-- No one can ever find out about this. 955 01:17:14,529 --> 01:17:17,327 If this gets out, I'll be expelled. My life will be over. 956 01:17:17,566 --> 01:17:19,363 If that money isn't back by Monday... 957 01:17:19,468 --> 01:17:21,436 ...I wouldn't worry about being expelled. 958 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:23,298 I'd worry about going to jail. 959 01:17:25,574 --> 01:17:27,041 -Jeannie.... -Hi, Jeannie. 960 01:17:27,242 --> 01:17:29,073 Hi, Martin. 961 01:17:38,787 --> 01:17:40,084 BANK MANAGER 962 01:17:57,506 --> 01:17:59,599 Matthew, what's wrong? 963 01:17:59,808 --> 01:18:03,471 Matt, is there something you want to talk about? 964 01:18:04,079 --> 01:18:06,741 Matthew, honey, what is it? 965 01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:16,749 -Hi. -Come here. 966 01:18:24,199 --> 01:18:26,360 I'm in so much trouble. 967 01:18:39,014 --> 01:18:42,108 I can't believe we're even thinking about this. 968 01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:47,953 Well, if you need that kind of money by Monday.... 969 01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,214 Yeah-- What are we doing? 970 01:18:50,325 --> 01:18:52,156 I mean, I can't get you involved in this. 971 01:18:52,427 --> 01:18:54,292 I want to do it. 972 01:18:54,663 --> 01:18:56,290 Why? 973 01:18:58,233 --> 01:19:00,258 Moral fiber. 974 01:19:02,337 --> 01:19:02,803 I'm in. 975 01:19:02,904 --> 01:19:04,701 You haven't heard the whole plan yet. 976 01:19:04,940 --> 01:19:06,202 Doesn't matter. 977 01:19:06,441 --> 01:19:08,375 Fuck film school. 978 01:19:08,577 --> 01:19:12,104 This is gonna be huge. This is gonna be my calling card. 979 01:19:13,715 --> 01:19:15,649 -No. -Klitzy.... 980 01:19:15,851 --> 01:19:17,648 -No way. -Klitz... 981 01:19:17,853 --> 01:19:20,788 ...you know I wouldn't ask for this unless I really needed it. 982 01:19:21,022 --> 01:19:23,456 Matt believe me, I want to help you, but-- No. 983 01:19:23,692 --> 01:19:25,717 -We'll get expelled and-- -Klitz, shut up. 984 01:19:25,961 --> 01:19:28,225 Do me a favor, okay? 985 01:19:28,463 --> 01:19:31,990 Take a look at us, okay? Take a good look at us. 986 01:19:32,701 --> 01:19:35,067 Do you know what we are, the three of us? 987 01:19:37,973 --> 01:19:42,137 -What? -We're a fucking tripod. 988 01:19:42,377 --> 01:19:44,572 -A tripod? -Yeah. 989 01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:46,509 And you know what that means? 990 01:19:46,715 --> 01:19:50,446 That means that if you kick out one of our legs, then we all fall. 991 01:19:52,521 --> 01:19:54,045 Come on, baby. 992 01:19:58,994 --> 01:20:00,757 Fuck. 993 01:20:02,564 --> 01:20:04,464 I know it was you, Klitzy. 994 01:20:07,502 --> 01:20:10,062 -Where is she? -Oh, there they are. Hey. 995 01:20:12,207 --> 01:20:14,072 -Hey! -Hi, Danielle. 996 01:20:15,877 --> 01:20:17,708 Hi. 997 01:20:17,913 --> 01:20:19,710 -Hey, let's get our luggage! -Yeah. 998 01:20:19,915 --> 01:20:21,678 -Yeah! -All right? 999 01:20:22,050 --> 01:20:24,041 -I'll be there in a minute. -Okay! 1000 01:20:45,040 --> 01:20:47,770 So if I pull this off, I get the 25 grand on Sunday? 1001 01:20:47,976 --> 01:20:51,639 Kid, you pull this off I'll take care of your little Samsung. 1002 01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:52,804 Samnang. 1003 01:20:53,048 --> 01:20:54,379 Whatever. 1004 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:56,278 Have a nice prom, kid. 1005 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:03,018 -All right, minions, over here. -Good luck. 1006 01:21:13,802 --> 01:21:15,633 Relax, relax. 1007 01:21:15,837 --> 01:21:17,896 You know what? Go wait in the car. Go. 1008 01:21:22,811 --> 01:21:24,472 Jesus. 1009 01:21:27,215 --> 01:21:30,810 Gentlemen, these are your prom dates, April and Ferrari. 1010 01:21:31,653 --> 01:21:35,749 Ladies, we have Eli and Klitz. 1011 01:21:36,691 --> 01:21:38,181 Your name is Klitz? 1012 01:21:39,127 --> 01:21:40,617 With a K. 1013 01:21:40,996 --> 01:21:44,830 Okay, get a two-shot. Minions. All right, guys, get closer. 1014 01:21:45,033 --> 01:21:48,696 Yeah, that's right. Show me the love. Oh, feel it. Feel it! 1015 01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:50,599 -Nice. -Eli? 1016 01:21:50,805 --> 01:21:53,000 Do those girls go to your school? 1017 01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:55,266 Actually, no. 1018 01:21:55,510 --> 01:21:56,943 Mrs. Kidman... 1019 01:21:57,145 --> 01:22:01,343 -...they're porn stars. -Oh, yeah, right. 1020 01:22:16,765 --> 01:22:18,665 You look.... 1021 01:22:19,401 --> 01:22:20,993 You-- You look really nice. 1022 01:22:21,836 --> 01:22:23,326 Thanks. 1023 01:22:23,538 --> 01:22:25,972 You really do, hon. You look so beautiful. 1024 01:22:26,207 --> 01:22:27,538 Really? 1025 01:22:27,742 --> 01:22:29,107 Thanks. 1026 01:22:48,096 --> 01:22:49,688 WELCOME TO THE SENIOR PROM 1027 01:23:17,926 --> 01:23:19,416 What are all these cameras for? 1028 01:23:20,428 --> 01:23:22,157 For video yearbook. 1029 01:23:46,421 --> 01:23:49,982 So, what should we do? Should we start setting up? 1030 01:23:50,225 --> 01:23:52,921 Yeah, look, we just gotta keep this low-key, okay? 1031 01:23:53,128 --> 01:23:54,459 Okay. What are you gonna do? 1032 01:23:56,364 --> 01:23:57,991 I'm gonna get our actors. 1033 01:24:01,002 --> 01:24:04,130 -Dude, make sure they can act. -Yeah, all right. 1034 01:24:04,339 --> 01:24:07,740 -Just get out of here, okay? -Hey, I got this taken care of. 1035 01:24:07,942 --> 01:24:10,968 You just show this little lady a good time tonight, all right? 1036 01:24:11,179 --> 01:24:13,647 -Minions, let's move. -Wait. So, what are we doing? 1037 01:24:13,848 --> 01:24:15,110 Relax, relax. 1038 01:24:20,155 --> 01:24:22,146 Come on, play it cool, play it cool. 1039 01:24:37,405 --> 01:24:39,373 Look, they're coming to you. 1040 01:24:40,341 --> 01:24:41,638 I, Matt. 1041 01:24:41,843 --> 01:24:43,811 -What's up? -What's up? 1042 01:24:44,412 --> 01:24:48,143 -Can we talk to you for a second? -Dude, I'm with my girl here. 1043 01:24:49,217 --> 01:24:51,276 -Sorry, man. -Should we come back? 1044 01:24:51,486 --> 01:24:53,750 No, I'll leave you guys alone. 1045 01:25:07,168 --> 01:25:07,862 What's up? 1046 01:25:07,969 --> 01:25:09,869 Hey, man, what's up with those girls? 1047 01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:13,700 -What about them? -Are they, like...? 1048 01:25:14,943 --> 01:25:16,274 Are they porn stars? 1049 01:25:17,112 --> 01:25:19,512 -Yeah. -Shit. 1050 01:25:20,815 --> 01:25:22,578 I knew I recognized them. I knew it. 1051 01:25:23,718 --> 01:25:25,777 -Can we meet them? -Yeah. 1052 01:25:29,057 --> 01:25:31,525 How'd you boys like to be in a movie? 1053 01:25:31,759 --> 01:25:33,556 -What are these? -Your scripts. 1054 01:25:33,761 --> 01:25:35,558 Sign the release form at the top. 1055 01:25:35,763 --> 01:25:38,095 Come on, you guys, wait up! 1056 01:25:41,102 --> 01:25:42,399 PHOTO RELEASE 1057 01:25:46,574 --> 01:25:47,871 Are these our actors? 1058 01:25:48,643 --> 01:25:50,611 Just these two. 1059 01:25:50,845 --> 01:25:52,745 What about me, dude? 1060 01:25:52,947 --> 01:25:56,610 Sorry, bro. Party's all full. 1061 01:25:58,486 --> 01:25:59,953 Gentlemen. 1062 01:26:04,425 --> 01:26:08,259 As an artist, I want it to come from a truthful place. 1063 01:26:09,130 --> 01:26:12,031 Holy shit. 1064 01:26:15,003 --> 01:26:17,767 -Ferrari. Ferrari. Focus. Listen. -Oh, okay. 1065 01:26:17,972 --> 01:26:20,031 -Are we...? -No, I can do this. Don't worry. 1066 01:26:20,241 --> 01:26:22,209 Think Meryl Streep, Sophie's Choice. 1067 01:26:31,786 --> 01:26:33,083 Hey. 1068 01:26:33,288 --> 01:26:34,755 Hey. 1069 01:26:39,928 --> 01:26:42,453 Next location! Come on, move! 1070 01:26:42,697 --> 01:26:45,257 Move, move, move! Let's go! 1071 01:26:52,006 --> 01:26:54,099 -I gotta be in this. -Shut up. Take this. 1072 01:27:10,191 --> 01:27:12,159 Oh, come on! Take the pain! 1073 01:27:12,360 --> 01:27:13,850 Take the pain! Get up. Come on! 1074 01:27:17,632 --> 01:27:19,293 May I have a word with you? 1075 01:27:20,969 --> 01:27:23,403 -What's up? -I found this in the hallway. 1076 01:27:24,138 --> 01:27:25,435 Do you know what this is? 1077 01:27:26,140 --> 01:27:27,368 No, what is it? 1078 01:27:27,475 --> 01:27:29,807 Looks like a release form for something. 1079 01:27:30,945 --> 01:27:32,776 Yeah, I don't know what it is. 1080 01:27:35,016 --> 01:27:36,984 Have a good night. 1081 01:27:55,169 --> 01:27:56,636 You're strong. 1082 01:27:56,838 --> 01:27:58,362 You're firm. 1083 01:27:58,573 --> 01:28:00,837 But you have a secret. 1084 01:28:01,042 --> 01:28:03,033 Show that to me. 1085 01:28:16,591 --> 01:28:18,456 Thank you. 1086 01:28:18,993 --> 01:28:20,824 For what? 1087 01:28:21,229 --> 01:28:23,254 I never went to prom. 1088 01:28:45,153 --> 01:28:47,121 Excuse me, sir? 1089 01:28:47,789 --> 01:28:49,120 We have a problem. 1090 01:28:51,759 --> 01:28:54,057 -What's wrong? -Derek didn't work out. 1091 01:28:54,429 --> 01:28:56,795 -What happened? -Let's just say he wasn't strong... 1092 01:28:57,031 --> 01:28:58,726 ...or firm. 1093 01:28:58,933 --> 01:29:01,094 Guys, I can't work like this. 1094 01:29:01,302 --> 01:29:03,429 Okay, relax. We'll just get somebody else. 1095 01:29:03,638 --> 01:29:04,332 There is nobody else. 1096 01:29:04,439 --> 01:29:06,737 I thought everyone's dying to be in this. 1097 01:29:06,974 --> 01:29:09,135 Not this scene. 1098 01:29:11,546 --> 01:29:12,808 All right. 1099 01:29:13,047 --> 01:29:15,242 This is the key scene. 1100 01:29:15,450 --> 01:29:18,510 If we don't get this, Hugo's not gonna buy it. 1101 01:29:19,253 --> 01:29:21,721 Yeah, well, somebody's gotta step up. 1102 01:29:21,923 --> 01:29:24,824 -Why are you looking at me? -Because you're doing it. 1103 01:29:25,093 --> 01:29:27,391 Whoa, whoa, Mr. I-Just-Wanna-Bang-Hot-Chicks. 1104 01:29:27,595 --> 01:29:29,790 Here's your first chance. 1105 01:29:30,264 --> 01:29:32,164 Klitz, I can't act and direct, okay? 1106 01:29:32,367 --> 01:29:33,732 Oh, okay, fine. I'll direct. 1107 01:29:33,935 --> 01:29:35,562 -You're a director now? -Yeah, I am. 1108 01:29:35,770 --> 01:29:37,601 Okay, Spielberg, what lens will you use? 1109 01:29:37,839 --> 01:29:39,272 -It's a video camera. -So? 1110 01:29:39,507 --> 01:29:42,237 Dude, you don't need to change the lens on a video camera. 1111 01:29:42,443 --> 01:29:45,412 You know what? Take this camera and shove it up your ass! 1112 01:29:45,613 --> 01:29:47,342 I'll do it. 1113 01:29:50,017 --> 01:29:51,609 I'll do it. 1114 01:29:52,620 --> 01:29:54,918 You guys have been great, but this is my mess. 1115 01:29:55,123 --> 01:29:57,091 -I'll clean it up. -Matt. Matt. 1116 01:29:57,291 --> 01:29:59,782 Your face is gonna be in this. Think about that. 1117 01:30:32,560 --> 01:30:35,461 -Come here, baby. -Let's.... 1118 01:30:36,364 --> 01:30:38,195 Picture's up, people. 1119 01:30:50,945 --> 01:30:52,310 Are you ready, hon? 1120 01:30:52,513 --> 01:30:53,810 Yeah. 1121 01:30:54,015 --> 01:30:55,846 Okay, let's do this. 1122 01:31:04,158 --> 01:31:05,989 And... 1123 01:31:06,227 --> 01:31:07,694 ...action. 1124 01:31:11,566 --> 01:31:13,761 What the hell is going on in here? 1125 01:31:17,171 --> 01:31:19,139 -Nobody move! -Oh, shit. 1126 01:31:19,373 --> 01:31:21,136 Who is in charge of this? 1127 01:31:22,777 --> 01:31:24,506 I asked you people a question! 1128 01:31:24,745 --> 01:31:26,770 Who is in charge here?! 1129 01:31:40,728 --> 01:31:42,286 Fuck it. 1130 01:32:12,793 --> 01:32:15,455 All right, everybody, take five. 1131 01:32:16,597 --> 01:32:17,894 What's wrong? 1132 01:32:18,099 --> 01:32:19,760 I can't do this. 1133 01:32:19,967 --> 01:32:21,559 What happened? 1134 01:32:33,548 --> 01:32:35,641 What are you gonna do? 1135 01:32:38,185 --> 01:32:40,244 I don't know. Doesn't matter. 1136 01:32:44,325 --> 01:32:46,259 No. 1137 01:32:46,460 --> 01:32:48,121 I'll do it. 1138 01:32:48,796 --> 01:32:50,423 Klitz, it's cool. You don't have to- 1139 01:32:50,531 --> 01:32:51,998 No, no, I'm doing it. 1140 01:32:53,034 --> 01:32:54,626 Why? 1141 01:32:55,403 --> 01:32:57,598 Because we're a fucking tripod. 1142 01:32:58,973 --> 01:33:01,942 All right, here we go, people. Picture's up. 1143 01:33:03,377 --> 01:33:06,369 Listen, I know this is unprofessional... 1144 01:33:06,581 --> 01:33:08,606 ...but I think you're really cute. 1145 01:33:08,816 --> 01:33:10,477 Yeah, right. 1146 01:33:11,485 --> 01:33:13,476 I'm serious. 1147 01:33:14,288 --> 01:33:15,755 Really cute. 1148 01:33:16,557 --> 01:33:17,819 How we doing, Klitzy? 1149 01:33:19,660 --> 01:33:21,127 Fucking great, man. 1150 01:33:21,329 --> 01:33:22,660 Let's do this. 1151 01:33:23,030 --> 01:33:25,123 And action! 1152 01:34:15,950 --> 01:34:17,542 See you guys. 1153 01:34:19,920 --> 01:34:21,911 Good night, guys. 1154 01:34:27,161 --> 01:34:28,685 So... 1155 01:34:28,896 --> 01:34:31,421 ...what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 1156 01:35:47,174 --> 01:35:49,142 -Hello? -We're dead. 1157 01:35:49,376 --> 01:35:51,640 -Eli? -Dude, the tape's not here. 1158 01:35:51,846 --> 01:35:53,108 -I can't find it. -What? 1159 01:35:53,314 --> 01:35:56,545 Dude, I'm not kidding, okay? I've looked everywhere, okay? 1160 01:35:56,817 --> 01:35:57,613 All right, calm down. 1161 01:35:57,718 --> 01:35:59,618 No, dude, you calm down! It's gone! 1162 01:35:59,854 --> 01:36:02,516 -What do you mean it's gone? -I mean it's freaking gone. 1163 01:36:03,023 --> 01:36:04,854 Somebody stole it! 1164 01:36:05,092 --> 01:36:06,354 Jesus Christ! 1165 01:36:06,460 --> 01:36:07,950 Matthew, could you come in here? 1166 01:36:13,701 --> 01:36:15,862 This is Mr. Simon. 1167 01:36:17,872 --> 01:36:20,966 He says he has something very important to discuss with us. 1168 01:36:25,112 --> 01:36:26,443 Why don't you sit down. 1169 01:36:30,117 --> 01:36:32,312 Actually, if you don't mind... 1170 01:36:32,553 --> 01:36:34,817 ...may I have a word with the boy alone first? 1171 01:36:36,490 --> 01:36:38,014 Sure. 1172 01:36:47,034 --> 01:36:48,262 So how was prom? 1173 01:36:51,238 --> 01:36:53,001 -That's mine. -You know, we were fine. 1174 01:36:53,207 --> 01:36:56,370 But now you go and do this? This was my idea. 1175 01:36:56,577 --> 01:36:58,374 Now I'm really gonna fuck your shit up. 1176 01:36:59,446 --> 01:37:01,073 I'm gonna need that back. 1177 01:37:04,785 --> 01:37:06,184 Take it from me. 1178 01:37:09,790 --> 01:37:11,690 Yeah... 1179 01:37:11,892 --> 01:37:13,860 ...what are you gonna do? 1180 01:37:15,896 --> 01:37:17,261 I don't have to do anything. 1181 01:37:17,965 --> 01:37:19,728 Hugo Posh will. 1182 01:37:19,934 --> 01:37:22,869 Yeah, he's my partner on this, 50-50. 1183 01:37:23,838 --> 01:37:26,306 So could I please have my tape back? 1184 01:37:26,574 --> 01:37:28,371 Fuck you! 1185 01:37:29,410 --> 01:37:31,935 Fuck you. I'm taking your half then. 1186 01:37:32,146 --> 01:37:35,775 No. That money's going to Samnang. The money you stole from him. 1187 01:37:35,983 --> 01:37:39,316 You say that like I care. I don't give a shit. 1188 01:37:39,553 --> 01:37:41,384 You're giving me your half. 1189 01:37:41,822 --> 01:37:43,949 And if I don't? 1190 01:37:44,625 --> 01:37:45,922 Showtime. 1191 01:37:52,499 --> 01:37:55,093 -Okay. -"Okay," what? 1192 01:37:56,604 --> 01:37:58,469 Show them the tape. 1193 01:37:58,772 --> 01:38:00,433 I'm not fucking around. 1194 01:38:02,076 --> 01:38:04,044 I just don't care anymore. 1195 01:38:05,980 --> 01:38:07,447 This... 1196 01:38:07,648 --> 01:38:10,276 ...is gonna be interesting. 1197 01:38:14,121 --> 01:38:16,646 Dan, Marci, Mr. Salinger... 1198 01:38:16,891 --> 01:38:19,985 ...would you mind joining me in the living room for a second? 1199 01:38:20,194 --> 01:38:21,661 Great. 1200 01:38:29,003 --> 01:38:32,666 Matthew, is there anything you want to say before we watch this? 1201 01:38:36,543 --> 01:38:38,636 Okay, then. On with the show. 1202 01:38:42,149 --> 01:38:44,276 Hello. I'm April. 1203 01:38:44,485 --> 01:38:46,043 And I'm Ferrari. 1204 01:38:46,253 --> 01:38:49,882 You may recognize us as stars of the adult entertainment industry. 1205 01:38:50,157 --> 01:38:52,387 And today we're taking time out to talk about... 1206 01:38:52,493 --> 01:38:54,154 ...a very important subject. 1207 01:38:54,361 --> 01:38:55,885 -Sex. -Sex. 1208 01:38:57,031 --> 01:38:59,397 Special events such as senior prom... 1209 01:38:59,500 --> 01:39:00,660 ...place added pressure on young teens... 1210 01:39:00,868 --> 01:39:03,803 ...to lose their virginity and engage in unprotected sex. 1211 01:39:04,038 --> 01:39:06,472 I know I lost my virginity at my senior... 1212 01:39:06,573 --> 01:39:08,473 ...prom. When'd you lose yours, April? 1213 01:39:08,676 --> 01:39:11,645 -When I was 10. -Moving on. 1214 01:39:11,879 --> 01:39:14,347 In this video, we'll go through. 1215 01:39:14,448 --> 01:39:15,972 ...everything from kissing to foreplay. 1216 01:39:16,183 --> 01:39:19,983 And for our finale, we'll show you how to put a condom on properly... 1217 01:39:20,187 --> 01:39:22,348 ...using a real person. 1218 01:39:22,456 --> 01:39:25,050 No cucumbers or bananas in this video. 1219 01:39:25,292 --> 01:39:27,351 So for those of you naughty boys... 1220 01:39:27,461 --> 01:39:29,122 ...expecting to see a raunchy porn video... 1221 01:39:29,563 --> 01:39:32,623 ...you might as well turn this off now... 1222 01:39:32,866 --> 01:39:34,527 ...because you're not gonna see sex. 1223 01:39:34,735 --> 01:39:36,225 What the fuck is this shit? 1224 01:39:36,470 --> 01:39:39,200 You're gonna see sex education. 1225 01:39:41,475 --> 01:39:43,033 The ELI EXPERIENCE presents 1226 01:39:44,445 --> 01:39:47,676 ADULT EDUCATION Sex Education for the 21st Century 1227 01:39:50,718 --> 01:39:52,777 This is interesting, Matthew. 1228 01:39:56,290 --> 01:39:57,587 Yeah. 1229 01:39:57,791 --> 01:40:00,157 Yeah, I think it's a great idea. 1230 01:40:03,564 --> 01:40:06,863 Well, you remember those sex-ed films back in our day. 1231 01:40:07,401 --> 01:40:10,768 Well, I'll tell you, if they were anything like this... 1232 01:40:10,971 --> 01:40:14,065 ...we sure would've paid more attention, don't you think? 1233 01:40:15,776 --> 01:40:17,903 I think it's atrocious. 1234 01:40:20,981 --> 01:40:22,278 But... 1235 01:40:22,483 --> 01:40:24,246 ...the hell with it. 1236 01:40:25,519 --> 01:40:27,885 The kids today are so goddamn screwed up... 1237 01:40:28,088 --> 01:40:31,057 ...maybe this is the only way you can reach them. 1238 01:40:34,094 --> 01:40:36,392 You just might have something here, Matthew. 1239 01:40:36,964 --> 01:40:38,727 I think it's pretty wild. 1240 01:40:39,967 --> 01:40:41,901 This could really sell, don't you think? 1241 01:40:43,337 --> 01:40:45,567 How'd you come up with such an idea, Matthew? 1242 01:40:47,007 --> 01:40:48,304 What can I say? 1243 01:40:49,777 --> 01:40:51,836 It's like a gift, you know? 1244 01:40:52,746 --> 01:40:54,805 It's like I can't control it. 1245 01:40:58,886 --> 01:41:00,148 We've Only. Just Begun. 1246 01:41:03,557 --> 01:41:04,819 YEARBOOKS TODAY! 1247 01:41:05,025 --> 01:41:08,688 Courtney Booth. I will always remember late nights in Cabby-- 1248 01:41:08,896 --> 01:41:10,693 Eric Zierdal. I'll always remember-- 1249 01:41:10,898 --> 01:41:12,126 Kurt Kilgore. I will-- 1250 01:41:12,332 --> 01:41:13,390 Joseph Croft. 1251 01:41:13,500 --> 01:41:16,162 I will always remember wrestling and the great memories we had. 1252 01:41:16,370 --> 01:41:19,498 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... 1253 01:41:21,909 --> 01:41:24,434 ...the three legs of the tripod. 1254 01:41:24,845 --> 01:41:28,246 I'm here with Hugo Posh, the producer of Adult Education... 1255 01:41:28,482 --> 01:41:31,747 ...the hottest-selling sex-education video ever made... 1256 01:41:31,985 --> 01:41:34,749 ...being utilized in classrooms across the globe. 1257 01:41:34,988 --> 01:41:39,220 Hugo, you're known primarily as a hard-core pornographer, correct? 1258 01:41:39,426 --> 01:41:40,757 My business partner. 1259 01:41:40,994 --> 01:41:42,325 Let me break it down for you 1260 01:41:42,529 --> 01:41:45,692 See, Hugo Posh isn't just tits. He isn't just ass. 1261 01:41:46,733 --> 01:41:50,692 I mean, yes, he is those things, but Hugo Posh is also heart. 1262 01:41:51,205 --> 01:41:53,002 What an ass-bag. 1263 01:41:53,707 --> 01:41:55,299 THE JUICE WAS WORTH THE SQUEEZE 1264 01:41:55,742 --> 01:41:57,835 Fucking kid. 1265 01:41:58,045 --> 01:41:59,842 My student advisor. 1266 01:42:00,047 --> 01:42:02,038 All right, people. 1267 01:42:02,583 --> 01:42:04,016 Let's make some fucky-fucky. 1268 01:42:04,218 --> 01:42:07,016 Now, Hugo, you and your partner have made millions on this. 1269 01:42:07,221 --> 01:42:08,984 So who is this silent partner? 1270 01:42:10,390 --> 01:42:13,359 Well, he prefers to remain anonymous. 1271 01:42:20,968 --> 01:42:23,903 You better cure cancer, kid. 1272 01:42:24,104 --> 01:42:25,799 The next Einstein. 1273 01:42:26,140 --> 01:42:28,005 All right. Yeah, next question. 1274 01:42:29,143 --> 01:42:31,202 -All right. -Eli's calling card. 1275 01:42:31,411 --> 01:42:33,538 -How about you, buddy? -Yeah, Mr. Brooks... 1276 01:42:33,747 --> 01:42:35,840 ...why did you decide to skip film school? 1277 01:42:36,083 --> 01:42:37,914 Don't you think you're a little young? 1278 01:42:38,018 --> 01:42:39,315 Shut the fuck up! 1279 01:42:39,553 --> 01:42:41,043 Next question! Faster! 1280 01:42:41,288 --> 01:42:43,688 I got the tape! Can you see? I got the tape! 1281 01:42:45,759 --> 01:42:47,693 For our finale, I will now demonstrate... 1282 01:42:47,794 --> 01:42:48,692 ...the proper technique... 1283 01:42:48,896 --> 01:42:50,420 ...for putting a condom on the real thing. 1284 01:42:50,531 --> 01:42:52,362 Is my volunteer ready? 1285 01:42:52,566 --> 01:42:54,397 Klitz's big debut. 1286 01:42:54,635 --> 01:42:56,535 Shut up, shut up! Here he is, here he is. 1287 01:43:04,144 --> 01:43:06,840 Jesus, look at that guy. 1288 01:43:07,681 --> 01:43:10,445 He is huge. 1289 01:43:15,122 --> 01:43:18,489 My own scholarship to Georgetown. 1290 01:43:23,130 --> 01:43:25,758 And of course, I'll never forget... 1291 01:43:25,966 --> 01:43:27,297 ...the girl next door. 1292 01:43:35,275 --> 01:43:37,300 As for me... 1293 01:43:38,111 --> 01:43:40,579 ...I'm just going with it.