1
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don't look alright I've taken enough

2
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enough of your lip Oh guys my robots do

3
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what you were all dead no

4
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you

5
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we should be quick about this

6
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give me the tripod it's in the trunk

7
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spread them boys now you want me to hold

8
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it okay hold still okay ten should stop

9
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one two three

10
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my name is under recruitment and I am

11
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cow Gabriel one two three go and we are

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the army of two hmm this is our high

13
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school located in our town it is our

14
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worst enemy

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it is our nemesis fuck what's actually

16
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there will be a series of missions

17
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followed by a final big-ass mission

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called zero day

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that's it now we're done now right yeah

20
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god I hate this hey these are the best

21
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years of your life

22
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you're recording you the army of two is

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a myriad of supply depots all over the

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place this one's in my closet probably

25
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about 3 2 or 3 meters of underwater burr

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under waterproof fuse co2 canisters for

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BB guns no let those day make you go

28
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22-caliber these are generally used for

29
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rifles and sometimes pistols like we got

30
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Christina egg wheeler shotgun shell I'm

31
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gonna close with that 12-gauge what a

32
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lot the most fun things we got here

33
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this will make a boom it'll blow your

34
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socks off bottle rockets right here can

35
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I have some real fun with these tonight

36
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fake ID for if we need to skip the

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country fake passport right here fake

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social security card telling your

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Peruvian dollars that'll probably bias

40
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uh sticking gum or something all right

41
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- we should probably start get going now
- let's rock n roll

42
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why are you even bothering taping or you

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didn't you're not gonna see anything I

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can night-vision
give me a look on your face

45
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say something official-sounding we

46
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officially declare war mission 1 yeah

47
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like m-80s or something a little more

48
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interesting what are we not this is just

49
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like ceremonial we'll build a big shit

50
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it's better to just keep a low profile

51
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of it we'll pull the big shit up later

52
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you know what I mean you don't want

53
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anger management if I can help it no

54
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check that out look at that tell me that

55
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doesn't look like you're a fucking ghost

56
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or something

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one two three let the countdown begin

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I didn't know we were gonna say well let

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the countdown begin

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that's good hey wasn't right what do you

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mean all right are you talking about

62
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that was great

63
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so everyone's asleep in my house now all

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right so this is the first entry in my

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zero day video diary

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everything is planned so methodically

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it's just gonna be it's gonna be unreal

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it's gonna be it's gonna be beautiful

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it's so weird looking at your cell phone

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video it's like this and I it's so weird

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how it actually looks like a machines

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pupil I'm staring right at you through

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the tape

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we're gonna leave you all behind just

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sticks in the mud that Andre and I have

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made we're gonna walk away see we we see

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more than you do we

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you

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how does I hope that's what you wanted

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yeah exactly

81
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good good cake to put cake but how about

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good camera the guy at the store said

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that little what do you call that thing

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there's a little screen on the side

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they're not godly and gives you a better

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picture I don't think that's really

87
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true at all this so anyway are you happy

88
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accurate no no that that's that's not

89
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with your camera

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you think it'll do no dad I want you to

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take it back right now of course you do

92
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excellence well they will when I tell

93
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them to trail trail I hit the button all

94
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right no check that out ask us what

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we're doing tonight everyone what are

96
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you doing tonight what's the other one

97
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not seriously no now that I have you on

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tape what are you up to tonight well you

99
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know figured why some we can go to a

100
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kegger I don't know what do you think

101
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say that again please know it now we eat

102
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LSD oh you know what you're a heroine Oh

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ecstasy nah we're done with that

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that's an introductory okay so is that

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you you're going out though I'm staying

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in no what's the matter we're just gonna

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go out do stuff you know we're not we're

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no bread puffs here okay Brad huh

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okay yeah captain of the wrestling team

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they're wrong things is that says it all

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she's like everyone think she's like a

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god this kid like drinks and drives and

113
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the cops form over all the time but

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somehow they never take away his license

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car you know I hate to be the guy

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or his stupid Range Rover I hate that

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got to break it to you on the 18th

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birthday of all days but life is not as

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fair you know just because he gets away

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with something and he's a bad guy you

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know sometimes you do good things and

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Jia that's a major mood booster right

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and it goes totally unnoticed as well so

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there

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who needs Prozac and I got you what do

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you want me to say it's the truth

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something don't sit there now I'm trying

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to figure it out because it's you're

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wasting your time you're not getting

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anywhere and I can even see you now I

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can well thank you for breaking the news

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gently oh listen I waited long enough

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18 years see he's you know and then he

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goes around town and talk to Big Brother

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what a smart guy years thank you now you

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see what I have to put up with oh the

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best years yeah those would be the best

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years of your life you think so

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mind if we are vamoose all right let's

140
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get out of here

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it's a pretty lame party I'm just not

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good at parties are you happy with the

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camera it's not the one I wanted I mean

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when they say what do you want for your

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birthday and you give them a certain

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model and then they just walk and get

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something else

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hey so Chris another what do what you

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get music my parents got it for me for

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my birthday

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so what's up nothing much it's up to you

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how's everything yeah we probably won't

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stick around too much longer

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good what time is it yeah do you know

155
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there's white Russians in the freezer

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yes happy thank you

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not even wear panties you know because

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they had clothing on oh all right we're

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gonna head out all right no that's all

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see you later hey thanks for letting us

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drop by uh you still shoot not much mind

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if we tag along next time you go yeah

163
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that would be very cool we can shoot

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some stuff to animate yeah sure if the

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parents thinks all right we'll convince

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them yeah

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just I'm gonna call them yeah of course

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you will but yeah absolutely the next

169
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time I go I want to go I haven't been

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all right cool all right great well see

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you later then hey hold on hey goodbye

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I'll see all you later all right

173
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yeah oh boy I can't smell it yet dude

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they're disgusting no tell anything in

175
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there about six weeks all right well I

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guess I should explain our our first act

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of war basically

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Brad Huff the biggest shithead

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motherfuck oh the world has ever seen

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he's everything we hate in one my trusty

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handy little form we're gonna Pelt that

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ugly ugly piece of shit Range Rover of

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his with some six week old eggs life

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isn't fair

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so we got even the score low that's not

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Brad Hope sighs nope

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this is gonna be awesome man it'll be

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all right yeah all right this is gonna

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be great

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it'd be better if we had shotguns maybe

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ding dong hi this is huff can we speak

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to a brad is Brad home

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Bradley honey some friends of yours are

194
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here then he comes downstairs what the

195
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fuck do pussies one watch you dead bitch

196
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bang

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where's this laying over fuck it's not

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here I'm gonna break into the garage and

199
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see if it's in there and risk getting

200
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caught and arrested for breaking and

201
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entering and screwing up the whole

202
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campaign no no we stick to plan B that's

203
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we egged the house what did that Finn

204
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what are you stopping at motherfucker

205
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all right we're gonna about seven

206
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minutes until twelve o'clock we do it

207
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exactly at 12 we stick to the timetable

208
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we've got to start learning to stick to

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the timetable

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dude I can smell this shit from outside

211
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the bag oh it's melting down the

212
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storybook we're gonna have to get your

213
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bags after this no we'll just like a

214
00:14:58,524 --> 00:15:02,192
gallon of that Febreze shit now we wait

215
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what time is it

216
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we have 10 seconds okay good it didn't

217
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break ready yeah

218
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what now Brad

219
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right hurry oh oh oh and the wind up do

220
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let's get the fuck out of here now

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maybe win that dance I can honestly say

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mission successful

223
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why are we running still no

224
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in order to make sure that the covert

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actions of the army of two remain secret

226
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starts now if you think about it anybody

227
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we're starting up a security protocol it

228
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who's done anything like this in the

229
00:16:28,169 --> 00:16:30,223
past has had a website up or they've

230
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done something stupid to attract

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attention to themselves most of the time

232
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that's all they wanted was attention

233
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we're not like them see these people

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they didn't understand that if you had

235
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hit lists with people with names on them

236
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that people wouldn't come down on you

237
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like gang rape in a maximum-security

238
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prison you got to take a minute you got

239
00:16:48,687 --> 00:16:51,417
something like this it's an a military

240
00:16:48,688 --> 00:16:50,607
to think about things if you're doing

241
00:16:51,418 --> 00:16:53,157
procedure that's why we're the army of

242
00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,317
two not the group of assholes with guns

243
00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,237
these people are so fucking stupid it's

244
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not even funny

245
00:16:58,243 --> 00:17:00,087
I mean if it were me I would get them

246
00:17:00,088 --> 00:17:03,056
all in a room together and I would just

247
00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:06,386
spray em with raid like ants except like

248
00:17:06,386 --> 00:17:09,355
thinking well hey they're taping this so

249
00:17:06,387 --> 00:17:08,665
human rate okay now you might be

250
00:17:09,356 --> 00:17:11,845
of course they wanted to be found and

251
00:17:11,845 --> 00:17:15,025
Finn's here watching this now exactly we

252
00:17:11,846 --> 00:17:15,026
you're right we do want it to be found

253
00:17:15,026 --> 00:17:17,696
don't want it to be found until we're

254
00:17:17,697 --> 00:17:20,501
ready we've decided that we're gonna set

255
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:22,916
up a safety deposit box now as many of

256
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:26,485
you know so keep safety deposit boxes

257
00:17:26,486 --> 00:17:29,275
cannot be legally open by anybody except

258
00:17:29,276 --> 00:17:31,765
the owner unless the owner dies when

259
00:17:31,766 --> 00:17:34,314
we're done we're going to bequeath all

260
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of our information to a third party

261
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:39,025
source probably media what are the top

262
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three media people that you would enjoy

263
00:17:42,101 --> 00:17:45,544
willingness to okay number one Peter

264
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Jennings number two

265
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dan Rather and number three Wolf Blitzer

266
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that's what I say all right we're here

267
00:18:00,043 --> 00:18:03,097
you're gonna have to turn that off

268
00:18:03,098 --> 00:18:06,022
what for when we go inside cuz they're

269
00:18:06,023 --> 00:18:08,902
not gonna let you have that we are on

270
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location dollar D banks you carry bright

271
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Bank privacy room secure your privacy or

272
00:18:13,253 --> 00:18:15,967
whatever and we are now going to put in

273
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:18,681
the first set of record tapes to make

274
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:21,981
sure that mommy doesn't find them under

275
00:18:21,982 --> 00:18:29,982
the bed look my mom right now while I'm

276
00:18:32,722 --> 00:18:35,150
with Cal yeah well I'll be home for

277
00:18:35,151 --> 00:18:38,000
dinner mom

278
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:41,265
I said I was gonna come for dinner I'm

279
00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:46,075
gonna be home for dinner all right boy

280
00:18:46,076 --> 00:18:48,999
so that is that on top of that isn't it

281
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,309
so they really can't get in there they

282
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:55,621
can't get in they can't touch us now

283
00:18:55,622 --> 00:18:57,981
they have no access to these tapes

284
00:18:57,982 --> 00:19:02,329
once they're sealed back up there no one

285
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:05,658
can open them except for me Bob's like

286
00:19:05,659 --> 00:19:08,868
hey you want to touch it down

287
00:19:08,869 --> 00:19:11,618
do you want to touch it big boy here

288
00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:19,118
touch my my box come on touch it ring

289
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:22,694
using you want to feel any questions

290
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,158
that our viewers may have

291
00:19:38,269 --> 00:19:42,117
hey I know this new silver yeah this is

292
00:19:42,118 --> 00:19:46,557
disturb her paw spit posterity here here

293
00:19:46,558 --> 00:19:51,807
we go you should come we did the upper

294
00:19:51,808 --> 00:19:54,477
there's no fun doing the lowers quite

295
00:19:54,478 --> 00:19:57,673
hot what's the difference the upper then

296
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,907
you get him smiling with all this Bray's

297
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,827
design and then they come out in a nice

298
00:20:01,828 --> 00:20:03,867
and shiny you should've got them when we

299
00:20:03,868 --> 00:20:06,877
started with his keeper so yes I know I

300
00:20:06,878 --> 00:20:09,887
missed it so long breezes my back braces

301
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:21,175
I'm doing is squeezing the brace and

302
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:25,726
then okay

303
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:31,645
we get Calvin's own little routine

304
00:20:41,725 --> 00:20:49,725
they're straight like any boy was it

305
00:20:54,455 --> 00:20:57,632
worth the many years of years trips here

306
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,934
yeah

307
00:21:04,484 --> 00:21:08,339
hello and welcome to today's episode of

308
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:11,069
home gun review well today we're gonna

309
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:15,254
teach you how to make a big gun small

310
00:21:15,255 --> 00:21:18,312
and easier to conceal come on it see

311
00:21:18,313 --> 00:21:21,193
these days any time an 18 year old wants

312
00:21:21,194 --> 00:21:22,303
to gear up

313
00:21:22,304 --> 00:21:25,108
you got some 60 year old loser sitting

314
00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:28,558
in a gun store saying hmm why does this

315
00:21:28,559 --> 00:21:31,543
18 year old want to gear up and so we

316
00:21:31,544 --> 00:21:35,272
found a not so clever solution to this

317
00:21:35,273 --> 00:21:37,771
problem this long dilemma you see

318
00:21:37,772 --> 00:21:40,501
there's so many guns just lying around

319
00:21:40,502 --> 00:21:43,361
why draw attention to yourself by

320
00:21:43,362 --> 00:21:51,341
anyone's my dad taught me how to hunt

321
00:21:51,342 --> 00:21:54,910
when I was a wee young lad and he always

322
00:21:54,911 --> 00:21:57,160
made me wait downstairs so that I didn't

323
00:21:57,161 --> 00:21:59,291
know where he was getting the guns and

324
00:21:59,292 --> 00:22:01,241
where the key was

325
00:22:01,242 --> 00:22:03,011
truth be told I've known where the key

326
00:22:03,012 --> 00:22:09,576
was since the fifth grade I just whom I

327
00:22:09,577 --> 00:22:16,139
was just humoring him here she is all

328
00:22:16,140 --> 00:22:21,069
right let's check out the others here we

329
00:22:21,070 --> 00:22:24,179
have your standard 22 leaver action

330
00:22:24,180 --> 00:22:27,579
personally I'm not a big fan next we

331
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:32,155
have the pride of the Old West here 20

332
00:22:32,156 --> 00:22:35,424
gauge double-barrel shotgun now in the

333
00:22:35,425 --> 00:22:37,794
time I've done that and closed it up

334
00:22:37,795 --> 00:22:41,109
three football players have tackled me

335
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:44,639
and bashed my head in with a chair not

336
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,919
good single action pistol

337
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,519
it's all right I mean if you want to rob

338
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,117
someone I guess your POS 25 caliber all

339
00:22:55,118 --> 00:22:58,957
pistol this thing couldn't kill someone

340
00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:03,203
if you shot point-blank range at their

341
00:23:03,204 --> 00:23:06,503
eye this this right here this is like

342
00:23:06,504 --> 00:23:09,558
the Dirty Harry fucking gun right here

343
00:23:09,559 --> 00:23:11,547
alright like that right there

344
00:23:11,548 --> 00:23:14,196
and this this is probably of my faith

345
00:23:14,197 --> 00:23:16,726
one of my favorite guns

346
00:23:16,727 --> 00:23:24,045
I call her milena okay what are you

347
00:23:24,046 --> 00:23:30,856
doing I am preparing the tools Oh for to

348
00:23:30,857 --> 00:23:33,575
apply this come on mouth no get out here

349
00:23:33,576 --> 00:23:37,605
this is what I call the short skirt from

350
00:23:37,606 --> 00:23:41,024
milena right here this is an illegally

351
00:23:41,025 --> 00:23:43,695
modified stock why is it illegal because

352
00:23:43,696 --> 00:23:46,606
it's illegal to make a weapon more

353
00:23:46,607 --> 00:23:49,096
concealable because you have to have

354
00:23:49,096 --> 00:23:51,554
fortunately with our intents and

355
00:23:49,097 --> 00:23:51,555
special licenses for concealed weapons

356
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:54,825
purposes we don't really need to worry

357
00:23:54,826 --> 00:23:57,044
about the legality have anything

358
00:23:57,045 --> 00:23:58,965
no-one cares when you order a stock and

359
00:23:58,966 --> 00:24:00,735
why do they not care you ask because

360
00:24:00,736 --> 00:24:03,585
it's a piece of wood that's it but my

361
00:24:03,586 --> 00:24:05,550
best time so far is 64 seconds I want to

362
00:24:05,551 --> 00:24:08,115
be able to do it at a moment's notice

363
00:24:08,116 --> 00:24:10,954
- because we never know when zero days
- coming go

364
00:25:03,492 --> 00:25:05,561
done

365
00:25:05,562 --> 00:25:11,659
54 sex is its Guinness day in my dad's

366
00:25:11,660 --> 00:25:14,510
closet with the long skirt on for as

367
00:25:14,511 --> 00:25:17,601
long as it needs to indefinitely if it

368
00:25:17,602 --> 00:25:20,361
has to no one ever has to know or no one

369
00:25:20,362 --> 00:25:23,705
ever will know that I've made a short

370
00:25:23,706 --> 00:25:27,690
skirt unless I tell them and then think

371
00:25:27,691 --> 00:25:31,380
about it this sucker goes on 54 seconds

372
00:25:31,381 --> 00:25:34,385
54 seconds is all it takes for me to be

373
00:25:34,386 --> 00:25:37,580
able to hide this sucker come after you

374
00:25:37,581 --> 00:25:39,845
thank you for visiting us on this

375
00:25:39,846 --> 00:25:45,350
edition of home gun show Review Friday

376
00:25:45,351 --> 00:25:48,588
and Cal good night hey don't tell Dad

377
00:25:48,589 --> 00:25:51,339
okay

378
00:25:53,189 --> 00:26:01,189
kermy bike bike even easier be Hannibal

379
00:26:04,199 --> 00:26:07,507
if you're lying on someone it's all

380
00:26:07,508 --> 00:26:13,797
right good look it's Willie hi Willie

381
00:26:13,798 --> 00:26:17,708
are we doing we're just making fun of

382
00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:20,858
dead people I like that name Lillian

383
00:26:20,859 --> 00:26:23,648
that's cool me I don't think I like the

384
00:26:23,649 --> 00:26:25,627
last name Tomlinson though because

385
00:26:25,628 --> 00:26:28,387
there's this kid who I don't want to go

386
00:26:28,388 --> 00:26:31,387
telling another story of when Sal got

387
00:26:31,388 --> 00:26:34,747
beat up by a little nobody Lillian it

388
00:26:34,748 --> 00:26:36,907
was via Tom one thing so he was a big

389
00:26:36,908 --> 00:26:38,377
mean 5th grader

390
00:26:38,378 --> 00:26:40,657
no no no he was like any period it

391
00:26:40,658 --> 00:26:42,877
wasn't with the plane then I mean I

392
00:26:42,878 --> 00:26:45,156
wouldn't even have beaten up a 5th

393
00:26:45,157 --> 00:26:48,846
grader suppose an 8th grade laundries

394
00:26:48,847 --> 00:26:52,416
the violin would not mean I just heard

395
00:26:52,417 --> 00:26:55,146
you say Andrews violin I didn't say that

396
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:58,086
he's not violent I think I don't know

397
00:26:58,087 --> 00:27:00,846
sometimes the way he talks about people

398
00:27:00,847 --> 00:27:05,045
and just interact with everyone is just

399
00:27:05,046 --> 00:27:08,755
a you mean like we do not me all the

400
00:27:08,755 --> 00:27:11,314
strange what do you think it's a bad

401
00:27:08,756 --> 00:27:11,315
time just it's just a little offbeat

402
00:27:11,315 --> 00:27:13,640
influence on me

403
00:27:13,641 --> 00:27:17,225
mom oh he doesn't like you either so

404
00:27:17,226 --> 00:27:19,865
it's okay that's right I don't really

405
00:27:19,866 --> 00:27:22,505
mind that much it's just said I don't

406
00:27:22,506 --> 00:27:24,349
know you hang out with him a lot and I

407
00:27:24,350 --> 00:27:27,384
just don't want you kind of um becoming

408
00:27:27,385 --> 00:27:28,573
like him

409
00:27:28,574 --> 00:27:32,313
why would what do you think is him

410
00:27:32,314 --> 00:27:36,973
there's a lot of anger problems or just

411
00:27:36,974 --> 00:27:40,274
anger in general well he probably has

412
00:27:40,275 --> 00:27:42,928
angry because he has a problems that I

413
00:27:42,929 --> 00:27:45,928
don't know about you know but there

414
00:27:45,929 --> 00:27:48,748
didn't like his dad doesn't beat him or

415
00:27:48,749 --> 00:27:51,373
anything like that and like I'm your

416
00:27:51,374 --> 00:27:55,093
friend and all and he's your friend so

417
00:27:55,094 --> 00:27:58,063
he should at least try and be semi

418
00:27:58,064 --> 00:28:02,892
courteous to me but he's really not he's

419
00:28:02,893 --> 00:28:06,102
a dick yeah a lot of the time I guess I

420
00:28:06,103 --> 00:28:08,472
just never conflict with him but you

421
00:28:08,473 --> 00:28:12,912
who'd you consider the leader of the

422
00:28:12,913 --> 00:28:15,927
Andre cow army to than me or Andre Andre

423
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:18,941
do you think it's Andre I I don't know

424
00:28:18,942 --> 00:28:22,326
when you're with him you're just you're

425
00:28:22,327 --> 00:28:25,341
different than you are now now am I now

426
00:28:25,342 --> 00:28:28,601
and now you're the cow that I've known

427
00:28:28,602 --> 00:28:32,611
for a really long time and when you're

428
00:28:32,612 --> 00:28:34,356
with Andre you're like Andre number two

429
00:28:34,357 --> 00:28:37,151
wait why why do you think that like I'm

430
00:28:37,152 --> 00:28:39,341
not Thea he's not count number two and

431
00:28:39,342 --> 00:28:42,550
I'm Cowell number one how do you know

432
00:28:42,551 --> 00:28:44,785
that he's in copying off of my my style

433
00:28:44,786 --> 00:28:47,019
yo unless you have some sort of evil

434
00:28:47,020 --> 00:28:49,180
locked inside that I've never seen

435
00:28:49,181 --> 00:28:50,395
before

436
00:28:50,396 --> 00:28:54,250
it's I lock it inside nobody nobody sees

437
00:28:54,251 --> 00:28:58,300
it I keep it from everyone yeah did you

438
00:28:58,301 --> 00:29:02,849
where did you wear boxers or briefs you

439
00:29:02,850 --> 00:29:04,789
get up you get up and it is now my turn

440
00:29:04,790 --> 00:29:07,874
to do this to you podium can you tell me

441
00:29:07,875 --> 00:29:10,578
why you always have to tape everything

442
00:29:10,579 --> 00:29:13,383
it's kind of cool and why do you think

443
00:29:13,384 --> 00:29:15,618
it's so cool all right I guess that I

444
00:29:15,619 --> 00:29:17,838
don't know why do why do i tape

445
00:29:17,839 --> 00:29:19,938
everything I have no idea

446
00:29:19,939 --> 00:29:23,473
come on cap I I don't I just like it hmm

447
00:29:23,474 --> 00:29:26,548
no it's just that under likes me to film

448
00:29:26,549 --> 00:29:29,118
girls asses for having oh okay I don't

449
00:29:29,119 --> 00:29:32,117
think that's really why you like to film

450
00:29:32,118 --> 00:29:35,087
things I think you're still hiding

451
00:29:35,088 --> 00:29:39,976
something Cal I'm insecure and I need

452
00:29:39,977 --> 00:29:42,407
attention are you serious is that is

453
00:29:42,408 --> 00:29:45,587
that why you yeah I seem really insecure

454
00:29:45,588 --> 00:29:48,765
to you don't I yes cow no well maybe

455
00:29:48,766 --> 00:29:51,465
maybe there is something that Andre

456
00:29:51,466 --> 00:29:53,835
wants you to videotape for him or

457
00:29:53,836 --> 00:29:56,475
something like that not necessarily

458
00:29:56,476 --> 00:30:01,004
everyone asked but maybe he's gay and so

459
00:30:01,005 --> 00:30:05,174
I'm videotaping whites you I want you to

460
00:30:05,175 --> 00:30:08,580
get out of the town because now I'm just

461
00:30:08,581 --> 00:30:11,430
gonna see you on this tape told you I

462
00:30:11,431 --> 00:30:13,795
knew you're gonna show it to him I'm not

463
00:30:13,796 --> 00:30:15,215
gonna screw it to him

464
00:30:17,825 --> 00:30:20,360
by bombs made excellent anti-personnel

465
00:30:20,361 --> 00:30:22,370
weaponry for two reasons first they're

466
00:30:22,371 --> 00:30:24,330
cheap and easy to manufacture basically

467
00:30:24,331 --> 00:30:27,875
anybody can buy the components and two

468
00:30:27,876 --> 00:30:30,050
because they're extremely effective for

469
00:30:30,051 --> 00:30:33,395
their size baby bomb makes a big boom

470
00:30:33,396 --> 00:30:35,645
these package is normal galvanized steel

471
00:30:35,646 --> 00:30:37,639
don't get plastic pipes because they'll

472
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,054
just end up melting don't get any more

473
00:30:40,054 --> 00:30:42,693
because you're just gonna blow it up as

474
00:30:40,055 --> 00:30:42,694
expensive metal than galvanized steel

475
00:30:42,694 --> 00:30:45,529
with building any weapons security is

476
00:30:45,530 --> 00:30:47,509
key and so you should just use common

477
00:30:47,510 --> 00:30:49,219
sense don't get the pipes at the same

478
00:30:49,220 --> 00:30:51,199
place to get the caps no need to raise

479
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,284
any issues or questions just go from

480
00:30:52,204 --> 00:30:54,664
store to store or buying all the

481
00:30:54,664 --> 00:30:57,872
same when you're referring to making

482
00:30:54,665 --> 00:30:57,873
different components they're all the

483
00:30:57,873 --> 00:31:00,168
your explosives you probably don't want

484
00:31:00,169 --> 00:31:02,583
to call them explosives because should

485
00:31:02,584 --> 00:31:04,458
someone overhear that conversation

486
00:31:04,459 --> 00:31:07,533
they'll know what's going on you can use

487
00:31:07,534 --> 00:31:09,828
a code word really anything sunglasses

488
00:31:09,829 --> 00:31:11,613
wallets peanuts you know it doesn't

489
00:31:11,614 --> 00:31:14,012
matter you might laugh now and say oh

490
00:31:14,012 --> 00:31:17,101
funny but if you think about it it's the

491
00:31:14,013 --> 00:31:17,102
they're making peanuts ha ha ha that's

492
00:31:17,102 --> 00:31:19,337
only way that people aren't gonna

493
00:31:19,338 --> 00:31:22,162
realize what's going on and it could

494
00:31:22,163 --> 00:31:24,872
very well be the difference between

495
00:31:24,873 --> 00:31:26,792
success and failure I like to do

496
00:31:26,793 --> 00:31:29,162
everything step by step very orderly and

497
00:31:29,163 --> 00:31:30,932
efficiently so you take half the caps

498
00:31:30,933 --> 00:31:33,572
that you have and you drill holes into

499
00:31:33,573 --> 00:31:35,461
them you put those aside and don't touch

500
00:31:35,462 --> 00:31:38,101
those for a while you take fuse and you

501
00:31:38,101 --> 00:31:41,041
longer fuse if you want to have lots of

502
00:31:38,102 --> 00:31:40,351
cut specific lengths you can have a

503
00:31:41,042 --> 00:31:42,991
fun or you can have like a short little

504
00:31:42,991 --> 00:31:46,006
Dern aid the throat and blow once you're

505
00:31:42,992 --> 00:31:45,361
fuse if you want to just have a little

506
00:31:46,007 --> 00:31:49,380
done cutting the fuses you want to take

507
00:31:49,381 --> 00:31:52,051
the caps that you drilled and you want

508
00:31:52,052 --> 00:31:54,780
to insert the fuse into the cap take the

509
00:31:54,781 --> 00:31:56,940
caps that you didn't drill and fastened

510
00:31:56,941 --> 00:31:59,070
them on to the bottom of the pipe now

511
00:31:59,070 --> 00:32:02,190
take the powder and take your funnel and

512
00:31:59,071 --> 00:32:01,470
once they're all fastened you want to

513
00:32:02,191 --> 00:32:03,870
then you want to put the powder in

514
00:32:03,871 --> 00:32:05,985
there's basically two types of gunpowder

515
00:32:05,986 --> 00:32:09,210
that you can use smokeless powder and

516
00:32:09,211 --> 00:32:11,730
black-powder smokeless powder burn

517
00:32:11,731 --> 00:32:14,309
slower because it's some chemical thing

518
00:32:14,310 --> 00:32:16,878
that involves no smoke but black powder

519
00:32:16,878 --> 00:32:19,829
there's no need to spend a lot of money

520
00:32:16,879 --> 00:32:19,109
burns faster and makes a bigger boom

521
00:32:19,830 --> 00:32:21,674
on the powder because all you're getting

522
00:32:21,675 --> 00:32:23,999
is a different name on the jar it's all

523
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,249
the same shit whatever blows up faster

524
00:32:26,250 --> 00:32:28,199
and is cheaper is the best stuff to go

525
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,639
with don't wear

526
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:31,409
suit-and-tie when you're doing this

527
00:32:31,410 --> 00:32:34,648
stuff because the powder leaves black

528
00:32:34,649 --> 00:32:36,688
marks all over the place as you can see

529
00:32:36,689 --> 00:32:39,313
all right on the gloves some we had

530
00:32:39,314 --> 00:32:41,128
something like out you want this it

531
00:32:39,898 --> 00:32:41,848
leaves it all now you don't need that on

532
00:32:41,849 --> 00:32:43,618
your hands and on your arms and on your

533
00:32:43,619 --> 00:32:45,928
clothes or on your floor because then

534
00:32:44,668 --> 00:32:46,603
let's say your parents or your friends

535
00:32:46,604 --> 00:32:49,108
say hey why do you have all those black

536
00:32:47,278 --> 00:32:49,798
marks on your hands and your clothes and

537
00:32:49,799 --> 00:32:51,673
you're going to be hard-pressed to make

538
00:32:51,674 --> 00:32:53,577
an explanation shrapnel is important if

539
00:32:53,578 --> 00:32:55,677
you want to kill a lot of people and

540
00:32:55,678 --> 00:32:58,517
it's probably the simplest ingredient

541
00:32:58,518 --> 00:33:01,917
because you can use pretty much anything

542
00:33:01,918 --> 00:33:04,857
we use screws here but you can use

543
00:33:04,858 --> 00:33:07,197
whatever the hell you feel like thumb

544
00:33:07,198 --> 00:33:10,092
tacks nails

545
00:33:10,093 --> 00:33:12,985
small caliber bullets paper clips now

546
00:33:12,986 --> 00:33:15,701
that you have the pipe filled up with

547
00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,696
shrapnel and powder and take the cap and

548
00:33:17,697 --> 00:33:20,486
you just screw it on making sure that

549
00:33:20,487 --> 00:33:24,056
the fuse goes into the powder

550
00:33:24,057 --> 00:33:27,656
we've also experimented with duct taping

551
00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:30,296
shrapnel to the outside and as far as

552
00:33:30,297 --> 00:33:32,695
its effectiveness we can't say anything

553
00:33:32,696 --> 00:33:34,915
because we're not testing any of them

554
00:33:34,916 --> 00:33:37,045
and we won't be using them until zero

555
00:33:37,046 --> 00:33:39,050
day so if you really want to know you

556
00:33:39,051 --> 00:33:41,055
might want to ask a survivor

557
00:33:43,925 --> 00:33:47,345
we've decided where the source of the

558
00:33:47,346 --> 00:33:50,419
other guns will be besides Andres father

559
00:33:50,420 --> 00:33:53,759
which is going to be Chris we're gonna

560
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,674
take them some time before zero day I

561
00:33:57,675 --> 00:34:00,829
feel a little bit guilty about taking

562
00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:03,784
them from Chris but you know we are

563
00:34:03,785 --> 00:34:05,734
going to steal them from him we're gonna

564
00:34:05,735 --> 00:34:09,004
steal them from him so like he won't get

565
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:12,243
in any sort of trouble because of that I

566
00:34:12,244 --> 00:34:15,082
don't think hey I've been thinking and

567
00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:19,653
it it occurs to me that a lot of people

568
00:34:19,654 --> 00:34:22,743
are probably gonna wonder like how could

569
00:34:22,744 --> 00:34:25,023
somebody do something like zero day like

570
00:34:25,024 --> 00:34:27,723
what we're gonna do but I wanna know is

571
00:34:27,724 --> 00:34:30,421
how could somebody just how could

572
00:34:30,422 --> 00:34:34,340
somebody just kill themselves

573
00:34:34,341 --> 00:34:36,931
how many kids want to kill themselves

574
00:34:36,932 --> 00:34:39,541
and do you know thousands of kids do

575
00:34:39,542 --> 00:34:44,052
this but how many of them realized that

576
00:34:44,053 --> 00:34:47,862
the way of the samurai is found in death

577
00:34:47,863 --> 00:34:51,136
I'm not gonna leave cleanly I'm not just

578
00:34:51,137 --> 00:34:54,361
gonna fade out I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm

579
00:34:54,362 --> 00:34:58,081
gonna make my mark and then it'll be my

580
00:34:58,082 --> 00:35:00,931
time to die I mean it's a it's a lost

581
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:05,806
cause when you when you just kill

582
00:35:05,807 --> 00:35:09,809
yourself now it's it's almost a

583
00:35:09,810 --> 00:35:13,260
one-in-a-million chance that two kids

584
00:35:13,261 --> 00:35:16,995
alike me and Andre aren't you know come

585
00:35:16,996 --> 00:35:20,215
together but you know that that's that's

586
00:35:20,216 --> 00:35:24,000
just this town this misfortune I guess

587
00:35:24,001 --> 00:35:25,500
no fortune it's their fortune

588
00:35:25,501 --> 00:35:27,809
it's your fort it's it's it's your

589
00:35:27,810 --> 00:35:30,774
fortune because you're going to be a

590
00:35:30,775 --> 00:35:34,404
privileged few who who get the the

591
00:35:34,405 --> 00:35:37,664
wake-up call that we're delivering to

592
00:35:37,665 --> 00:35:41,084
you you're gonna get my my meaning in

593
00:35:41,085 --> 00:35:44,439
this really concentrated thick jelly

594
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,243
form pour it over your homes and

595
00:35:47,244 --> 00:35:49,933
everybody else will just have to see it

596
00:35:49,934 --> 00:35:52,588
on the news and I know you're all gonna

597
00:35:52,589 --> 00:35:54,788
be like I had a cousin who was in the

598
00:35:54,789 --> 00:35:55,938
school

599
00:35:56,177 --> 00:36:01,316
and then good for you listen to how I do

600
00:36:01,317 --> 00:36:06,656
clean this is everybody and all these

601
00:36:06,657 --> 00:36:10,495
little ones down here there's like all

602
00:36:10,496 --> 00:36:13,001
those there's like 19 strings on here

603
00:36:13,002 --> 00:36:15,286
and these down at the button we're

604
00:36:15,287 --> 00:36:17,962
supposed to naturally resonate

605
00:36:17,963 --> 00:36:20,636
harmoniously to the to the to these main

606
00:36:20,637 --> 00:36:23,297
strings right here and I even have a

607
00:36:23,298 --> 00:36:28,465
broken string in here

608
00:36:29,626 --> 00:36:32,564
all right so this is pretty much mission

609
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:35,585
three it's it's like a training

610
00:36:35,586 --> 00:36:39,030
simulation I guess you could call it

611
00:36:39,031 --> 00:36:42,001
training sim it's a weapons test we're

612
00:36:42,002 --> 00:36:44,835
working with my cousin Chris who's our

613
00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:47,564
unwitting Patsy and accomplice he's

614
00:36:47,565 --> 00:36:50,385
gonna take us out shooting and we're

615
00:36:50,386 --> 00:36:53,625
gonna record it you're gonna kind of

616
00:36:53,625 --> 00:36:56,115
where it keeps keys and everything and I

617
00:36:53,626 --> 00:36:55,335
case his place at the same time and see

618
00:36:56,116 --> 00:36:57,915
want to make this clear right now he has

619
00:36:57,916 --> 00:37:00,000
no idea what's going on he doesn't know

620
00:37:00,001 --> 00:37:02,010
what we're doing and he has no knowledge

621
00:37:02,011 --> 00:37:04,184
of anything that's happened just thanks

622
00:37:04,184 --> 00:37:06,854
that's exactly what we're doing yeah

623
00:37:04,185 --> 00:37:06,043
for going out to shoot with it and

624
00:37:06,855 --> 00:37:08,879
that's going to shoot right now there's

625
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,229
nothing else going on nothing else going

626
00:37:11,230 --> 00:37:12,364
on

627
00:37:25,163 --> 00:37:28,243
yeah all right

628
00:37:31,933 --> 00:37:35,278
you're both your sport I brought a bunch

629
00:37:35,279 --> 00:37:38,923
of stuff I brought like bowling pins

630
00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:41,923
some cantaloupes we brought we brought

631
00:37:41,924 --> 00:37:45,162
some a Barney a lookalike a ninja turtle

632
00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:47,642
- I need to turtle outstanding all right
- all right

633
00:37:52,461 --> 00:37:57,630
well there's my friends Jamie pessoa

634
00:37:57,631 --> 00:38:05,630
game shotgun right now we're gonna use

635
00:38:06,017 --> 00:38:12,449
the 22 first alright what are we

636
00:38:12,450 --> 00:38:20,450
shooting next busily unfilled you it's a

637
00:38:27,389 --> 00:38:30,808
cool gun it's really cool it's loud

638
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:38,809
though yeah well he's a natural natural

639
00:38:49,468 --> 00:38:51,948
selection

640
00:38:54,349 --> 00:39:02,348
oh my god oh my god whoa not your clutch

641
00:39:15,248 --> 00:39:23,247
okay who would like to try this look at

642
00:39:42,526 --> 00:39:47,595
how it grazed it look at that my mommy

643
00:39:47,596 --> 00:39:55,596
was killed by no I will beat you pull

644
00:39:56,866 --> 00:40:00,365
the slide forward and it's ready to go

645
00:40:09,515 --> 00:40:14,654
guns the best gun is my favorite it's

646
00:40:14,655 --> 00:40:17,643
got a lot of power and a little recoil

647
00:40:17,644 --> 00:40:25,644
perfect

648
00:41:12,842 --> 00:41:17,259
nobody's filming here why are you

649
00:41:17,260 --> 00:41:25,260
looking it up yeah have all of your

650
00:41:27,641 --> 00:41:31,921
neighbors looking well where do you go

651
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,055
my fella I'm so freaking tired besides

652
00:41:45,056 --> 00:41:48,970
which gun do you think would be the best

653
00:41:48,971 --> 00:41:52,200
- actually kill somebody with I don't know
- that all pretty much kill somebody

654
00:41:56,018 --> 00:41:58,927
supposed to be the last color football

655
00:41:58,928 --> 00:42:04,388
with a number mady's black is that okay

656
00:42:04,389 --> 00:42:05,437
never mind

657
00:42:05,438 --> 00:42:08,318
it is those essence of all color that's

658
00:42:08,319 --> 00:42:11,584
the absence of all color you're having a

659
00:42:11,585 --> 00:42:12,839
bad idea

660
00:42:21,058 --> 00:42:29,058
that is that were so well why do old

661
00:42:35,947 --> 00:42:39,216
people carry canes just a low mo you

662
00:42:39,217 --> 00:42:42,216
know what's come over me he means a

663
00:42:42,217 --> 00:42:45,696
wacky with their canes what if all of

664
00:42:45,697 --> 00:42:49,177
the old people of the world United and

665
00:42:49,178 --> 00:42:52,656
they all took over the world with their

666
00:42:52,657 --> 00:42:56,496
canes oh that's scary but if they wax

667
00:42:56,497 --> 00:42:58,641
you and like crack your skull no they

668
00:42:58,642 --> 00:43:00,381
wouldn't get that much power it had to

669
00:43:00,382 --> 00:43:03,486
be a lot of little have to be a lot of

670
00:43:03,487 --> 00:43:05,266
old people like whacking you and giving

671
00:43:05,267 --> 00:43:07,045
you bruises kind of like the birds

672
00:43:07,706 --> 00:43:13,054
little divots okay go get dressed and

673
00:43:13,055 --> 00:43:15,955
I'm ready for some coffee

674
00:43:19,835 --> 00:43:21,824
read it out loud

675
00:43:21,825 --> 00:43:24,793
the zero day invasion plan presented by

676
00:43:24,794 --> 00:43:28,993
the army of two really one question that

677
00:43:28,994 --> 00:43:32,294
you guys might have had is why do they

678
00:43:32,295 --> 00:43:34,604
call it zero day the people who have

679
00:43:34,604 --> 00:43:37,962
predetermined date to do it on May 27th

680
00:43:34,605 --> 00:43:37,963
done this in the past have always had a

681
00:43:37,963 --> 00:43:40,138
or whatever that's kind of sloppy

682
00:43:40,139 --> 00:43:42,884
because if you have all these plans

683
00:43:42,884 --> 00:43:45,553
27 all of encircled big red ink people

684
00:43:42,885 --> 00:43:45,554
laying around saying May 27 May 27 May

685
00:43:45,554 --> 00:43:48,614
are going to say well what the hell is

686
00:43:48,615 --> 00:43:50,488
going on with May 27 so we decided that

687
00:43:50,489 --> 00:43:53,098
the easiest way to do it would be for us

688
00:43:53,099 --> 00:43:54,853
to coordinate everything so that we're

689
00:43:54,854 --> 00:43:58,063
ready at a moment's notice

690
00:43:58,064 --> 00:44:00,792
and then do the attack on the first day

691
00:44:00,793 --> 00:44:02,502
of the year that's zero degrees we set

692
00:44:02,503 --> 00:44:04,272
it up so that we wake up every day the

693
00:44:04,272 --> 00:44:07,467
station Monday through Friday we wait

694
00:44:04,273 --> 00:44:06,702
exact same time to the exact same radio

695
00:44:07,468 --> 00:44:09,193
and not counting Jewish holidays of

696
00:44:09,194 --> 00:44:11,427
course when we wake up in the morning we

697
00:44:11,428 --> 00:44:15,162
hear a leather report first thing three

698
00:44:15,162 --> 00:44:18,030
doesn't work the first day we hear

699
00:44:15,163 --> 00:44:18,031
degree is four degrees below seven

700
00:44:18,031 --> 00:44:19,301
excuse me

701
00:44:19,302 --> 00:44:22,947
first day we hear the guys say zero

702
00:44:22,948 --> 00:44:26,067
degrees we get up get our shit blow some

703
00:44:26,068 --> 00:44:29,110
people away now the first day of school

704
00:44:29,111 --> 00:44:32,381
is tomorrow and so now it can basically

705
00:44:32,382 --> 00:44:35,081
come at it in time so we figured now is

706
00:44:35,082 --> 00:44:37,240
the best time to go over the invasion

707
00:44:37,241 --> 00:44:39,071
plan and basically go through the

708
00:44:39,072 --> 00:44:41,770
guidelines and through the outline that

709
00:44:41,771 --> 00:44:43,720
we've product produced so that you the

710
00:44:43,721 --> 00:44:46,960
viewer can go ahead and do such a thing

711
00:44:46,961 --> 00:44:49,150
on your own the school resource officer

712
00:44:49,151 --> 00:44:51,459
is basically your main preliminary

713
00:44:51,459 --> 00:44:53,979
maximize the effects of your attack you

714
00:44:51,460 --> 00:44:53,259
target to be considered in order to

715
00:44:53,980 --> 00:44:55,584
should be sure to eliminate any

716
00:44:55,585 --> 00:44:57,369
opposition as soon as possible

717
00:44:57,370 --> 00:44:59,320
confinement of the enemies paramount in

718
00:44:59,321 --> 00:45:01,495
light of the fact that any who manages

719
00:45:01,496 --> 00:45:03,235
to escape can end your fund prematurely

720
00:45:03,236 --> 00:45:05,199
by using a cell phone or other

721
00:45:03,850 --> 00:45:05,905
unforeseen means of communication to

722
00:45:05,906 --> 00:45:07,764
alert the outside world before it's

723
00:45:07,765 --> 00:45:09,714
convenient keeping to this logic it is

724
00:45:09,715 --> 00:45:11,393
important that when conducting a

725
00:45:11,394 --> 00:45:13,738
room-by-room assault each room's

726
00:45:13,739 --> 00:45:15,483
population is thoroughly and completely

727
00:45:15,484 --> 00:45:18,128
reduced the army of two has deemed it

728
00:45:18,129 --> 00:45:20,003
wise to have a secondary escape plan

729
00:45:20,004 --> 00:45:22,179
should your plans go unfortunately awry

730
00:45:22,180 --> 00:45:24,384
however it is not only unwise but also

731
00:45:24,385 --> 00:45:26,499
counterproductive to rely too heavily on

732
00:45:26,500 --> 00:45:28,868
said plan and letter the fact that you

733
00:45:28,869 --> 00:45:30,128
may become too comfortable

734
00:45:30,129 --> 00:45:32,468
it's implementation the preceding has

735
00:45:32,469 --> 00:45:35,878
been a basic yet detailed outline for

736
00:45:35,879 --> 00:45:39,757
our missions ideals and objectives in

737
00:45:39,758 --> 00:45:42,468
conclusion Lu fast live hard and die by

738
00:45:42,469 --> 00:45:45,178
any combination of those to the end

739
00:45:50,587 --> 00:45:57,106
okay I've you know I'm ready for zero

740
00:45:57,107 --> 00:46:01,185
day now I'm ready for for it to happen

741
00:46:01,186 --> 00:46:04,306
whenever it happens I'm standing where I

742
00:46:04,307 --> 00:46:07,561
need to be standing and I'm just trying

743
00:46:07,562 --> 00:46:11,010
to save this this spot that I'm at for

744
00:46:11,011 --> 00:46:14,446
when it actually happens because you

745
00:46:14,447 --> 00:46:17,896
know now that I'm inspired so it's like

746
00:46:17,897 --> 00:46:21,136
I've been planning this forever and when

747
00:46:21,137 --> 00:46:23,716
and when Andre and I came together it

748
00:46:23,717 --> 00:46:25,785
was like that whole time before I had

749
00:46:25,786 --> 00:46:28,754
you know built up my part and he had

750
00:46:28,755 --> 00:46:32,055
built up his and then we came together

751
00:46:32,056 --> 00:46:34,724
and made this like point and then from

752
00:46:34,725 --> 00:46:37,155
there it all just you know what I mean

753
00:46:37,156 --> 00:46:41,024
we never said you know let's go shoot

754
00:46:41,025 --> 00:46:45,013
the school let's go do this because we

755
00:46:45,014 --> 00:46:47,584
didn't need to it was already there so

756
00:46:47,585 --> 00:46:49,189
I'm I'm ready

757
00:46:49,190 --> 00:46:50,794
you ready

758
00:46:51,213 --> 00:46:53,273
you

759
00:46:55,434 --> 00:46:58,343
what the fuck

760
00:46:58,344 --> 00:47:02,623
why are you dressed like that Commission

761
00:47:02,624 --> 00:47:05,993
parents you dressed because you didn't

762
00:47:05,994 --> 00:47:07,748
tell me what the mission was if we're

763
00:47:07,749 --> 00:47:09,528
gonna be going out somewhere I don't

764
00:47:09,529 --> 00:47:12,593
know I don't want to be caught off guard

765
00:47:12,594 --> 00:47:18,443
so you want to tell me what this secret

766
00:47:18,444 --> 00:47:24,291
mission is no actually the poem for

767
00:47:24,292 --> 00:47:28,011
Raleigh Raleigh is a hard-working man

768
00:47:28,012 --> 00:47:31,671
he turns her electricity's crank he

769
00:47:31,672 --> 00:47:34,131
takes care of our children like the

770
00:47:34,132 --> 00:47:36,771
modern-day Anne Frank so if you get

771
00:47:36,772 --> 00:47:41,437
tired of life if you feel you're getting

772
00:47:41,438 --> 00:47:49,156
bored the churches Christ wife the house

773
00:47:49,157 --> 00:47:54,671
of our Lord thank you what are you doing

774
00:47:55,991 --> 00:47:58,840
inundated every quite a bit and say

775
00:47:58,841 --> 00:48:01,510
standing between a rock and a hard place

776
00:48:01,511 --> 00:48:05,765
but a gun is nothing without a bullet or

777
00:48:05,766 --> 00:48:09,345
implied I am on bullets I live my life

778
00:48:09,346 --> 00:48:13,015
going the perfect parabolic arch of

779
00:48:13,016 --> 00:48:15,040
purpose meaning

780
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,790
and then there was that time and you

781
00:48:17,791 --> 00:48:20,355
stepped on a landmine and I never

782
00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:22,934
forgave you and you can feel the entire

783
00:48:22,935 --> 00:48:24,939
rise and fall of the Third Reich at your

784
00:48:24,940 --> 00:48:26,059
feet

785
00:48:41,798 --> 00:48:43,457
earlier pong

786
00:48:43,458 --> 00:48:47,623
yeah I know what it was but you tell me

787
00:48:47,624 --> 00:48:49,478
why you did it what were you thinking

788
00:48:54,218 --> 00:49:01,216
it's really deep and flowers bloom but

789
00:49:01,217 --> 00:49:04,486
it is a comedy act guys come on man look

790
00:49:04,487 --> 00:49:07,157
there she is there's like five other

791
00:49:07,158 --> 00:49:10,817
people in here you guys make up 50% of

792
00:49:08,147 --> 00:49:10,816
the audience can you didn't yeah yeah go

793
00:49:10,817 --> 00:49:13,547
ahead

794
00:49:13,548 --> 00:49:16,096
hey wait wait wait no I'm starting it

795
00:49:16,097 --> 00:49:18,887
seriously dude we pay attention when

796
00:49:18,888 --> 00:49:21,946
you're a period yours why can't you just

797
00:49:21,947 --> 00:49:24,406
listen to us 20 minutes what's the

798
00:49:24,407 --> 00:49:26,806
laughs hey we're getting out here sorry

799
00:49:26,807 --> 00:49:30,196
about this guys we're leaving right now

800
00:49:30,197 --> 00:49:33,216
- let's go what the fuck what you take the
- camera I don't even want to hold it

801
00:49:37,715 --> 00:49:39,573
jeez

802
00:49:39,574 --> 00:49:43,603
bring it take this I got a drought no no

803
00:49:43,604 --> 00:49:46,813
yes take it did it was odd how many

804
00:49:46,814 --> 00:49:49,454
times do I have to explain this shit to

805
00:49:49,455 --> 00:49:51,584
you before you fucking understand I'm

806
00:49:51,585 --> 00:49:53,924
sorry lieutenant

807
00:49:53,925 --> 00:49:55,605
quit rolling the sheets or will you get

808
00:49:55,606 --> 00:49:58,379
out of a fucking car forgive me for

809
00:49:58,380 --> 00:50:00,718
speaking so bluntly sir and stop talking

810
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:02,773
like you're in the fucking military what

811
00:50:02,774 --> 00:50:04,663
happens if they call them they tell the

812
00:50:04,663 --> 00:50:07,228
kidding are you sure so then they're

813
00:50:04,664 --> 00:50:06,403
parents hey guess what happens I'm

814
00:50:07,229 --> 00:50:09,403
like oh do they go to school why yes

815
00:50:08,053 --> 00:50:10,513
they do well I'm gonna call the

816
00:50:09,403 --> 00:50:10,963
principal and get on the phone with him

817
00:50:10,964 --> 00:50:12,343
right away

818
00:50:12,344 --> 00:50:14,053
they call it personally you get call

819
00:50:14,054 --> 00:50:15,823
that on the office you get sent to

820
00:50:15,824 --> 00:50:18,192
counseling you're sorry they your

821
00:50:18,193 --> 00:50:20,283
parents tighten down on you they call my

822
00:50:20,284 --> 00:50:24,942
parents my parents tighten down on me

823
00:50:24,943 --> 00:50:26,937
fuck now what where do you want to go

824
00:50:26,938 --> 00:50:29,652
what do you want to do right there so so

825
00:50:29,653 --> 00:50:31,647
we're done here we're done we're done

826
00:50:31,648 --> 00:50:35,072
we're done here okay start the turf it's

827
00:50:35,073 --> 00:50:36,606
just a car

828
00:50:36,607 --> 00:50:40,022
pull up to the exit okay ready I want

829
00:50:40,023 --> 00:50:41,901
you to close your eyes

830
00:50:41,902 --> 00:50:45,381
okay and drive go you're just gonna tell

831
00:50:45,382 --> 00:50:47,632
me where to go

832
00:50:47,633 --> 00:50:50,362
yeah do it go close your eyes I turn

833
00:50:50,363 --> 00:50:52,491
right right right right

834
00:50:52,492 --> 00:50:54,532
come on keep me close right right okay

835
00:50:54,533 --> 00:50:55,791
straight straight straight

836
00:50:55,792 --> 00:51:00,740
are they really close come on close them

837
00:51:00,741 --> 00:51:02,661
which way left okay now turn sharp left

838
00:51:02,662 --> 00:51:05,836
ready straight okay this is so fucking

839
00:51:05,837 --> 00:51:07,091
cookies

840
00:51:09,781 --> 00:51:13,351
this is nobody I sign equals you used to

841
00:51:13,352 --> 00:51:17,410
go Justin hit your skull like this and

842
00:51:17,411 --> 00:51:20,209
then just missing a movie like this this

843
00:51:51,389 --> 00:51:55,387
the original plan was that zero day

844
00:51:55,388 --> 00:51:58,837
would be on zero degrees but it only

845
00:51:58,838 --> 00:52:02,468
happened once because it was so warm

846
00:52:02,469 --> 00:52:05,963
this winter and that was the day that

847
00:52:05,964 --> 00:52:10,298
Andre had diarrhea so we set a date yeah

848
00:52:10,299 --> 00:52:13,282
May first it's kind of interesting how

849
00:52:13,283 --> 00:52:15,982
we thought like you know fate was going

850
00:52:15,983 --> 00:52:18,697
to decide when this happened but you

851
00:52:18,698 --> 00:52:22,652
know in a way May first his fate - I

852
00:52:22,653 --> 00:52:25,736
mean when we when we started you know

853
00:52:25,737 --> 00:52:29,227
under and I had this plan that we were

854
00:52:29,228 --> 00:52:32,886
gonna do this to our school and jump in

855
00:52:32,887 --> 00:52:35,361
the getaway car and go from state to

856
00:52:35,362 --> 00:52:37,835
state and do the same thing and now

857
00:52:37,836 --> 00:52:41,735
Andre may not realize this but you know

858
00:52:41,736 --> 00:52:45,275
that's not gonna happen at all you know

859
00:52:45,276 --> 00:52:49,075
I'm coming out in a black plastic bag

860
00:52:49,076 --> 00:52:52,585
yeah that's it

861
00:52:56,255 --> 00:52:58,254
one two three four five

862
00:52:58,255 --> 00:53:00,815
six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve

863
00:53:00,816 --> 00:53:03,035
thirty forty goodness he said they did

864
00:53:03,036 --> 00:53:06,205
two famiiies before my father's day

865
00:53:06,205 --> 00:53:09,414
that's more than any kind of date yep

866
00:53:06,206 --> 00:53:09,415
please don't eat when I'm thirty hours

867
00:53:09,415 --> 00:53:12,054
someone's got to sit and sip through all

868
00:53:12,055 --> 00:53:14,424
that okay I just have a question I was

869
00:53:14,425 --> 00:53:16,884
just wondering if you're actually sure

870
00:53:16,885 --> 00:53:19,524
that they're gonna wonder if we have a

871
00:53:19,524 --> 00:53:22,839
gonna make a statement somewhere so that

872
00:53:19,525 --> 00:53:22,014
safety deposit box and look at it are we

873
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,344
they'll in a place that they're sure to

874
00:53:25,345 --> 00:53:27,414
find it I mean why would they check this

875
00:53:27,415 --> 00:53:29,514
ability the way I figured it the day

876
00:53:29,515 --> 00:53:32,408
before we do it we could or some time

877
00:53:32,409 --> 00:53:35,033
ahead of time with before we do it we

878
00:53:35,034 --> 00:53:38,063
can do it uh like a last will and

879
00:53:38,064 --> 00:53:40,358
testament kind of tape in saying you

880
00:53:40,359 --> 00:53:42,483
know by the way we've left these tapes

881
00:53:42,484 --> 00:53:44,808
and a safety deposit box is my name and

882
00:53:44,809 --> 00:53:47,903
then just be like yeah yeah believe it

883
00:53:47,904 --> 00:53:49,658
someone yeah we'll leave it in the car

884
00:53:49,659 --> 00:53:52,522
when we go in and Wonder sounds good to

885
00:53:52,523 --> 00:53:54,362
last shot will be was walking and then

886
00:53:54,363 --> 00:53:56,342
they won't see anything else after that

887
00:53:56,343 --> 00:53:59,902
and they're gonna like actually watch

888
00:53:59,903 --> 00:54:03,202
them though and wouldn't you watch them

889
00:54:03,202 --> 00:54:06,097
did everything we ever owned everything

890
00:54:03,203 --> 00:54:05,512
I mean think about it everything we ever

891
00:54:06,098 --> 00:54:08,362
we owned right now is gonna be

892
00:54:08,363 --> 00:54:11,591
- scrutinized under like the biggest
- microscope the world can produce

893
00:54:12,341 --> 00:54:15,110
well get used to whatever CD you have

894
00:54:15,111 --> 00:54:17,736
every everybody Oh game they're gonna go

895
00:54:17,737 --> 00:54:19,731
through and say Oh mortal kombat it was

896
00:54:19,732 --> 00:54:21,636
because of that even it wasn't because

897
00:54:21,637 --> 00:54:23,406
of any of it they was giving them a

898
00:54:23,407 --> 00:54:26,181
voice but that's that that's just how

899
00:54:26,182 --> 00:54:29,210
stupid people are I don't know just get

900
00:54:29,210 --> 00:54:31,879
like a body cavity searching and

901
00:54:29,211 --> 00:54:31,880
rid of all your stuff because that's

902
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,640
searching tomorrow I don't people

903
00:54:34,641 --> 00:54:37,980
looking on my hands and I don't people

904
00:54:37,981 --> 00:54:41,320
looking at my stuff that's a good point

905
00:54:56,258 --> 00:54:59,708
just gonna burn

906
00:55:02,769 --> 00:55:05,528
what did you contribute to our little

907
00:55:05,529 --> 00:55:08,017
bonfire Oh fun here tonight we've got

908
00:55:08,018 --> 00:55:11,287
video games PlayStation games we've got

909
00:55:11,288 --> 00:55:14,457
DVDs lots of CDs

910
00:55:14,458 --> 00:55:21,147
lots more CDs assault weapons

911
00:55:21,148 --> 00:55:24,787
we've got word of the flies I had to

912
00:55:24,788 --> 00:55:28,356
read that for a book report any grade

913
00:55:28,357 --> 00:55:31,026
would you think I'd like that actually

914
00:55:31,027 --> 00:55:36,096
my trusty old Sunday School Bible and I

915
00:55:36,097 --> 00:55:39,277
got this nice little snake sticker for

916
00:55:39,278 --> 00:55:44,387
memorizing the books of the New

917
00:55:44,388 --> 00:55:49,496
Testament Matthew Mark Romans

918
00:55:49,616 --> 00:55:54,245
first Corinthians 2nd Corinthians we

919
00:55:54,246 --> 00:55:57,155
didn't get it from any video games books

920
00:55:57,156 --> 00:56:03,935
movies CDs this is our idea and nobody

921
00:56:03,936 --> 00:56:08,374
else's what is that this is a note I got

922
00:56:08,375 --> 00:56:11,905
from a girl in like the eighth grade

923
00:56:14,395 --> 00:56:18,334
Andre I've really enjoyed being in mr.

924
00:56:18,335 --> 00:56:21,784
Ackerman's class with you this year mr.

925
00:56:21,785 --> 00:56:25,113
Ackerman is come on come on come on no

926
00:56:25,114 --> 00:56:30,843
no no he's a know but come on no but you

927
00:56:30,844 --> 00:56:34,069
always made me laugh

928
00:56:34,070 --> 00:56:37,084
with the jokes that you made about him

929
00:56:37,085 --> 00:56:39,334
except for the time that he heard you

930
00:56:39,335 --> 00:56:43,024
and you got kicked out of class brownie

931
00:56:43,025 --> 00:56:44,728
Ferenc alright enough no I don't want

932
00:56:44,729 --> 00:56:46,433
you saying her name all right

933
00:56:52,342 --> 00:56:59,701
so how much definitely burned I probably

934
00:56:59,702 --> 00:57:05,656
say like it's one half three thousand

935
00:57:05,657 --> 00:57:09,450
dollars yeah I can go with that shit we

936
00:57:09,451 --> 00:57:12,420
got to do it now oh yeah I think we just

937
00:57:12,421 --> 00:57:15,061
burned all of our worldly possessions

938
00:57:15,062 --> 00:57:19,080
everything so what's going on with you

939
00:57:19,081 --> 00:57:21,912
and the prom are you still going with

940
00:57:21,913 --> 00:57:28,196
that chick chick that that raychel bitch

941
00:57:28,197 --> 00:57:32,579
yeah why why not I don't know she's just

942
00:57:32,580 --> 00:57:35,521
kind of we I don't like her she's like

943
00:57:34,051 --> 00:57:36,090
she thinks I'm some kind of fucking

944
00:57:36,091 --> 00:57:40,090
psycho

945
00:57:40,091 --> 00:57:44,088
she's always afraid of me but so are you

946
00:57:44,089 --> 00:57:48,465
feeling you mean real oh it must be your

947
00:57:48,466 --> 00:57:52,839
pretty boy blond good looks oh I'm gonna

948
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:59,874
play with my hair now when she asked you

949
00:57:59,875 --> 00:58:04,437
what was weak just after my acne hey yo

950
00:58:04,438 --> 00:58:07,617
shut up or hey shut up don't can't

951
00:58:07,618 --> 00:58:10,528
believe you got asked no you're not

952
00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:13,333
going to anybody are you

953
00:58:13,334 --> 00:58:16,108
no no well who says I didn't get asked I

954
00:58:16,109 --> 00:58:19,019
just didn't want to go you didn't get

955
00:58:19,020 --> 00:58:22,063
asked that's a pile of shit

956
00:58:22,064 --> 00:58:25,106
so shit there's 100 years they're gonna

957
00:58:25,107 --> 00:58:28,767
say one of us was the leader I mean I

958
00:58:28,768 --> 00:58:32,022
really don't I mean we joke but I really

959
00:58:32,023 --> 00:58:33,807
don't think well any one of us is is

960
00:58:33,808 --> 00:58:36,057
more of a leader than the other why

961
00:58:36,058 --> 00:58:38,697
don't we why don't we split the press

962
00:58:38,698 --> 00:58:40,196
releases all right all right

963
00:58:40,197 --> 00:58:41,931
I could be leader for half you could be

964
00:58:41,932 --> 00:58:43,666
leader for half sounds good

965
00:58:43,876 --> 00:58:46,836
created dying out but it's so cool

966
00:58:46,837 --> 00:58:50,087
so every time the wind blows it just

967
00:58:50,088 --> 00:58:52,052
goes out a little more in the way we've

968
00:58:52,053 --> 00:58:55,187
talked about zero day it's almost like

969
00:58:55,188 --> 00:58:59,866
that this fire supposed to burn like a

970
00:58:59,867 --> 00:59:03,556
thousand feet tall and and never burn

971
00:59:03,557 --> 00:59:06,216
- out but look at it it's just like black
- crap now

972
00:59:10,496 --> 00:59:13,105
we got a good shot of Gregg here baby

973
00:59:13,106 --> 00:59:19,675
playing with the lights what if I wasn't

974
00:59:19,676 --> 00:59:24,114
over the wish nothing me Josh can you

975
00:59:24,115 --> 00:59:32,115
let them in hi Cal nice to meet you we

976
00:59:32,935 --> 00:59:34,854
haven't really formally met Josh good

977
00:59:34,855 --> 00:59:37,405
come on it closed door we got to get

978
00:59:37,406 --> 00:59:41,064
going

979
00:59:41,065 --> 00:59:44,723
and that was Greg yes

980
00:59:44,724 --> 00:59:48,143
so tell you works great

981
00:59:48,144 --> 00:59:56,144
I'm going stag to the prom get a

982
00:59:57,294 --> 01:00:01,278
macGruber I don't know where she's gonna

983
01:00:01,279 --> 01:00:04,152
sit come on yeah I'm getting I'm coming

984
01:00:04,153 --> 01:00:12,153
Brian's gonna be a good baby

985
01:00:25,162 --> 01:00:28,657
prom stands for promenade I don't think

986
01:00:28,658 --> 01:00:32,612
he speaks English very well no we're

987
01:00:32,613 --> 01:00:35,927
famous we just fucking see you're gay

988
01:00:35,928 --> 01:00:38,661
girls don't say what they mean right

989
01:00:38,662 --> 01:00:42,816
you're right right they say something

990
01:00:42,817 --> 01:00:45,996
and they mean another right yeah can you

991
01:00:45,997 --> 01:00:47,886
say it that's what you mean it's like

992
01:00:47,887 --> 01:00:51,651
I'm upset means I'm upset doesn't mean I

993
01:00:51,652 --> 01:00:56,810
was happy and I'm upset and I don't know

994
01:00:56,811 --> 01:01:03,920
what there are people here

995
01:01:03,921 --> 01:01:11,029
I gotta go first I gotta go first no I'm

996
01:01:11,030 --> 01:01:16,018
not

997
01:01:19,929 --> 01:01:24,698
hey Andre hi well I just thought I came

998
01:01:24,699 --> 01:01:27,684
by and take a little footage for the

999
01:01:27,685 --> 01:01:30,429
family archives as it is you know maybe

1000
01:01:30,430 --> 01:01:33,399
who knows maybe I'll send it to be a

1001
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:36,428
grandma in Montreal so that is a

1002
01:01:36,429 --> 01:01:39,248
fabulous crowd now oh yeah how long I

1003
01:01:39,249 --> 01:01:42,067
told you done now I'm pretty much all

1004
01:01:42,068 --> 01:01:46,558
set you want to get out here

1005
01:01:46,559 --> 01:01:49,707
hey yeah except you can't submission

1006
01:01:49,708 --> 01:01:52,328
maybe a little driving lessons on the

1007
01:01:52,329 --> 01:01:56,632
way home

1008
01:01:56,633 --> 01:02:00,936
sounds good what's the cars not yet okay

1009
01:02:00,937 --> 01:02:03,922
was it busy tonight

1010
01:02:03,923 --> 01:02:07,442
that's all right no yeah I get to wipe

1011
01:02:07,443 --> 01:02:08,907
down at the end of the night

1012
01:02:08,947 --> 01:02:12,427
listen somebody has to do it we all

1013
01:02:12,428 --> 01:02:15,621
started it you know where I started we

1014
01:02:15,622 --> 01:02:18,171
all did this you cannot start up on the

1015
01:02:18,172 --> 01:02:21,306
top as the head the head pizza man

1016
01:02:21,306 --> 01:02:24,006
absolutely no desire to be a head pizza

1017
01:02:21,307 --> 01:02:23,376
that's true but luckily I have

1018
01:02:24,007 --> 01:02:25,641
man so yeah I'm good

1019
01:02:25,642 --> 01:02:27,621
don't don't become the head pizza man

1020
01:02:27,622 --> 01:02:30,006
either yeah don't I know it they're

1021
01:02:30,007 --> 01:02:34,355
better and bigger things out there for

1022
01:02:34,356 --> 01:02:37,505
you yeah like you wouldn't believe

1023
01:02:37,506 --> 01:02:40,654
oh I do believe whoa take that curve a

1024
01:02:40,655 --> 01:02:43,414
little bit slower next time please yeah

1025
01:02:43,415 --> 01:02:47,235
remember this is a driving lesson this

1026
01:02:47,236 --> 01:02:50,550
is not lemons I realize it's only a

1027
01:02:50,551 --> 01:02:53,029
pizza drop and you don't seem to be

1028
01:02:53,030 --> 01:02:55,099
doing that important thing there but

1029
01:02:55,100 --> 01:02:57,934
it's amazing how much that made you grow

1030
01:02:57,934 --> 01:03:00,873
year already by now if you keep this up

1031
01:02:57,935 --> 01:03:00,874
up in the last few months maybe even a

1032
01:03:00,874 --> 01:03:03,904
you're gonna you're gonna have that

1033
01:03:03,905 --> 01:03:06,319
carpet in no time hopefully you know I

1034
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,009
never thought that was now wait a minute

1035
01:03:08,010 --> 01:03:10,259
I'm not finished with my speech here but

1036
01:03:10,260 --> 01:03:13,563
you know how difficult this is for me I

1037
01:03:13,564 --> 01:03:15,318
never thought I was gonna say this but

1038
01:03:15,319 --> 01:03:18,273
I'm part of you you did good she never

1039
01:03:18,274 --> 01:03:19,938
thought you were gonna say it

1040
01:03:19,939 --> 01:03:22,428
Wow not that I don't always mean it but

1041
01:03:22,429 --> 01:03:24,153
you know me I'm having a problem with

1042
01:03:24,154 --> 01:03:26,463
saying these things

1043
01:03:26,464 --> 01:03:28,263
absolutely it's not necessarily the

1044
01:03:28,264 --> 01:03:31,367
Mutchler thing to say yeah so keep doing

1045
01:03:31,368 --> 01:03:33,182
what you're doing and you'll do just

1046
01:03:33,183 --> 01:03:34,247
fine

1047
01:03:34,248 --> 01:03:36,692
like I said that card would be paid for

1048
01:03:36,693 --> 01:03:40,082
in no time I know no your mom and I will

1049
01:03:40,083 --> 01:03:43,102
- mom maybe even help you out a little bit
- sounds good

1050
01:04:05,141 --> 01:04:13,140
and while you're down there you so reach

1051
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:22,359
how long we known each other a long time

1052
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:30,359
yeah hardy-har-har so so how do you how

1053
01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:35,508
do you feel about me take me to Andres

1054
01:04:35,509 --> 01:04:41,268
please oh like everybody know actually I

1055
01:04:41,269 --> 01:04:44,778
don't maybe maybe not go to Andres and

1056
01:04:44,779 --> 01:04:49,127
you can ya know with us doesn't know how

1057
01:04:49,128 --> 01:04:50,357
to get there

1058
01:04:50,358 --> 01:04:54,487
can you take me to a specific place okay

1059
01:04:54,488 --> 01:04:58,277
why do believe to go alright yeah yeah I

1060
01:04:58,278 --> 01:05:01,127
have to go see why you guys ask or

1061
01:05:01,128 --> 01:05:03,278
Rachel

1062
01:05:03,938 --> 01:05:11,937
of course Andre not gay is gay so soon

1063
01:05:16,147 --> 01:05:19,746
are you no no no it's me

1064
01:05:19,747 --> 01:05:22,386
now you're gonna take a quick left eh

1065
01:05:22,387 --> 01:05:26,555
right after you're right we're all

1066
01:05:26,556 --> 01:05:30,846
having fun

1067
01:05:30,847 --> 01:05:34,415
yeah wheeler Wow really come on

1068
01:05:34,416 --> 01:05:38,915
I know I do

1069
01:05:38,916 --> 01:05:45,231
that one right there stop like right

1070
01:05:45,232 --> 01:05:49,384
here yeah I'll be right back he's going

1071
01:05:49,385 --> 01:05:57,385
to be Andre okay no that's a person he's

1072
01:06:03,185 --> 01:06:07,683
just quiet oh my god comes back oh yeah

1073
01:06:07,684 --> 01:06:15,153
so I'm Andres naked I'm the gay one

1074
01:06:15,154 --> 01:06:18,573
naked yeah I'll be naked let him go just

1075
01:06:18,574 --> 01:06:26,573
let him go okay Oh a good time you rock

1076
01:06:43,293 --> 01:06:45,652
yeah

1077
01:06:55,392 --> 01:06:59,261
oh all right

1078
01:06:59,262 --> 01:07:05,850
go okay some things then we acted alone

1079
01:07:05,851 --> 01:07:10,090
we obtained the weapons alone and nobody

1080
01:07:10,091 --> 01:07:13,720
knew that we were going to do this our

1081
01:07:13,721 --> 01:07:16,350
parents had nothing to do with this and

1082
01:07:16,351 --> 01:07:20,560
so everybody knows they didn't know

1083
01:07:20,561 --> 01:07:23,199
anything about it I mean when our

1084
01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:26,199
parents find these tapes I mean what are

1085
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:28,900
they gonna think oh my god I was asleep

1086
01:07:28,901 --> 01:07:31,540
upstairs while they were in the basement

1087
01:07:31,541 --> 01:07:34,330
recording this we could have known we

1088
01:07:34,331 --> 01:07:36,760
could have stopped them know that that's

1089
01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:38,680
bullshit mom don't worry about that all

1090
01:07:38,681 --> 01:07:40,690
right so you found us and you think

1091
01:07:40,691 --> 01:07:42,609
Jesus I'm sending them to counseling we

1092
01:07:42,610 --> 01:07:45,009
have to stop this we go through

1093
01:07:45,010 --> 01:07:47,319
counseling you know we'd wait a period

1094
01:07:47,320 --> 01:07:50,049
and then we just come out and do it

1095
01:07:50,050 --> 01:07:51,969
anyway exactly you know you could think

1096
01:07:51,970 --> 01:07:53,709
that you've cured us and we'll make you

1097
01:07:53,710 --> 01:07:56,454
believe that but you can't cure somebody

1098
01:07:56,455 --> 01:07:58,404
who has nothing wrong with them don't

1099
01:07:58,405 --> 01:08:00,489
feel guilty about this I mean it's not

1100
01:08:00,490 --> 01:08:02,708
your fault we love you I mean we were in

1101
01:08:02,709 --> 01:08:04,418
morons like every other loser that's

1102
01:08:04,419 --> 01:08:06,878
done this I mean we weren't a bunch of

1103
01:08:05,048 --> 01:08:07,628
fuckos and retards who were just

1104
01:08:07,629 --> 01:08:10,163
starving for attention we fooled

1105
01:08:10,164 --> 01:08:13,418
everybody I mean even if we hadn't could

1106
01:08:13,419 --> 01:08:15,608
you blame them for not noticing I mean

1107
01:08:15,609 --> 01:08:18,068
who wants to think that their son their

1108
01:08:18,069 --> 01:08:20,677
student their classmate their peer their

1109
01:08:20,677 --> 01:08:23,137
there are no reasons and you're all

1110
01:08:20,678 --> 01:08:22,447
employee is gonna do something like that

1111
01:08:23,138 --> 01:08:27,277
gonna look for him but you're not gonna

1112
01:08:27,278 --> 01:08:30,717
find them so fuck you fuck that fuck the

1113
01:08:30,718 --> 01:08:33,197
reasons there are none this isn't our

1114
01:08:33,198 --> 01:08:37,447
faults I mean you made us what made me

1115
01:08:37,448 --> 01:08:41,091
what I am for years we've I've been

1116
01:08:41,092 --> 01:08:44,286
tormented by all of you assholes okay I

1117
01:08:44,287 --> 01:08:46,596
I was called a faggot for walking down

1118
01:08:46,597 --> 01:08:49,116
the hall in school and a shirt that came

1119
01:08:49,117 --> 01:08:51,776
from fucking JCPenney

1120
01:08:51,777 --> 01:08:54,576
it's a fucking shirt who the fuck cares

1121
01:08:54,577 --> 01:08:56,346
in Europe in the medieval times if

1122
01:08:56,347 --> 01:08:59,196
somebody insulted somebody you know you

1123
01:08:59,197 --> 01:09:02,180
whipped out your fucking sword and you

1124
01:09:02,181 --> 01:09:05,580
dueled them and you killed them and make

1125
01:09:05,581 --> 01:09:09,205
no mistake we've been insulted

1126
01:09:09,206 --> 01:09:13,314
now it's time for the duel I know that

1127
01:09:13,315 --> 01:09:17,015
this will be my my last day it's zero

1128
01:09:17,016 --> 01:09:21,124
day it's my last day but that one day

1129
01:09:21,125 --> 01:09:25,479
I'm gonna live more fully than anyone

1130
01:09:25,480 --> 01:09:29,799
has lived in their entire lives we will

1131
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:34,329
be more powerful than God we're gonna be

1132
01:09:34,330 --> 01:09:37,914
God no mistake about that we'll be

1133
01:09:37,915 --> 01:09:40,403
fucking God I mean we decide who lives

1134
01:09:40,404 --> 01:09:41,693
and who dies

1135
01:09:41,694 --> 01:09:43,883
anybody who manages to get out years

1136
01:09:43,884 --> 01:09:46,162
from now they're fucking puny little

1137
01:09:46,163 --> 01:09:48,142
life is gonna have meaning and they're

1138
01:09:48,143 --> 01:09:50,993
gonna thank us cuz they're gonna think

1139
01:09:50,994 --> 01:09:53,863
that God spared their lives it's too bad

1140
01:09:53,864 --> 01:09:55,878
that this is what we have to do but

1141
01:09:55,879 --> 01:09:59,092
we're doing it so and don't waste this

1142
01:09:59,093 --> 01:10:02,002
opportunity don't just say that these

1143
01:10:02,003 --> 01:10:06,682
people's lives were lost for nothing

1144
01:10:06,683 --> 01:10:09,651
because it's just stupid just wake up

1145
01:10:09,652 --> 01:10:12,382
we're not trying to waste anybody's life

1146
01:10:12,383 --> 01:10:14,887
we're trying to show people what they

1147
01:10:14,888 --> 01:10:17,451
should value respect and love your

1148
01:10:17,452 --> 01:10:19,716
fellow man I mean it might seem like

1149
01:10:19,717 --> 01:10:21,816
we're hypocrites for saying these kind

1150
01:10:21,817 --> 01:10:23,601
of things because we're not

1151
01:10:23,602 --> 01:10:26,540
or at least you don't think we're doing

1152
01:10:26,541 --> 01:10:30,161
that but we're doing the most respectful

1153
01:10:30,162 --> 01:10:34,481
most loving thing we can do right now

1154
01:10:34,482 --> 01:10:36,435
animals and eventually we'll all die out

1155
01:10:36,436 --> 01:10:39,695
so enjoy it while you can one more thing

1156
01:10:39,696 --> 01:10:42,185
I have a safety deposit box at the First

1157
01:10:42,186 --> 01:10:45,470
National Bank I hereby bequeath it to

1158
01:10:45,471 --> 01:10:48,060
CNN and Wolf Blitzer or anybody any

1159
01:10:48,061 --> 01:10:50,650
media people who want it that's it

1160
01:10:51,079 --> 01:10:58,577
yeah I don't want to like trash his

1161
01:10:58,578 --> 01:11:00,677
computer and alright we'll leave this

1162
01:11:00,702 --> 01:11:01,966
computer alone but we got to make it

1163
01:11:01,991 --> 01:11:02,942
look like we broke in please there's a

1164
01:11:02,967 --> 01:11:05,148
there's a party across the street I mean

1165
01:11:05,173 --> 01:11:06,897
it makes it a little different we're not

1166
01:11:06,922 --> 01:11:08,991
egging Brad huffs house there's still

1167
01:11:09,016 --> 01:11:10,989
people sitting on the porch so I know

1168
01:11:11,014 --> 01:11:13,403
- don't be a problem we'll try to go
- around back

1169
01:11:21,037 --> 01:11:25,118
dude camouflage really works

1170
01:11:41,726 --> 01:11:49,726
it worked no shit all right just is that

1171
01:12:03,515 --> 01:12:06,245
the one you want why do we sit the back

1172
01:12:06,246 --> 01:12:10,235
out on the bend we'll take everything

1173
01:12:10,236 --> 01:12:14,223
out here just do it oh okay good they

1174
01:12:14,224 --> 01:12:17,945
didn't call a backup shotgun just in

1175
01:12:17,946 --> 01:12:20,405
case put the safety on and just take it

1176
01:12:20,406 --> 01:12:22,385
we don't need to mess with it right just

1177
01:12:22,386 --> 01:12:24,125
wait I want to see which study took the

1178
01:12:24,126 --> 01:12:26,104
indicator everything off all right I'm

1179
01:12:24,905 --> 01:12:26,465
gonna put it back let's just get out of

1180
01:12:26,466 --> 01:12:28,115
here

1181
01:12:28,116 --> 01:12:31,579
I don't want to get my brains blown out

1182
01:12:31,580 --> 01:12:34,443
before 0j okay can we can we leave now

1183
01:12:34,444 --> 01:12:37,683
well maybe we just relax hold on hold on

1184
01:12:37,684 --> 01:12:38,988
take a breath relax

1185
01:12:38,989 --> 01:12:41,343
we're okay no problems here we got

1186
01:12:41,344 --> 01:12:44,013
everything we came for yeah I know what

1187
01:12:44,014 --> 01:12:45,959
as for everything else it'll take them a

1188
01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:48,929
while I'm writing Chris a note why I

1189
01:12:48,930 --> 01:12:51,812
know you're gonna fuck everything up

1190
01:12:51,813 --> 01:12:55,023
don't leave and what if he finds it

1191
01:12:55,024 --> 01:12:58,232
before it's time okay yeah just

1192
01:12:58,233 --> 01:13:03,061
something that's right here Chris what

1193
01:13:03,062 --> 01:13:06,888
if we're gonna sit sorry we stole your

1194
01:13:06,889 --> 01:13:10,072
guns needed it for our secret plan you

1195
01:13:10,073 --> 01:13:16,011
stole your guys we need it for a movie

1196
01:13:16,012 --> 01:13:21,950
yeah you had fun and yo yo mamas mamas

1197
01:13:21,951 --> 01:13:24,901
stay here when I pull up bring the stuff

1198
01:13:24,902 --> 01:13:29,076
out I'll be back in two minutes

1199
01:13:29,077 --> 01:13:31,239
that would not be you hi

1200
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:39,240
I'm just making a little video yeah give

1201
01:13:40,811 --> 01:13:45,969
me camera oh my god get up hurry up we

1202
01:13:45,970 --> 01:13:53,969
don't have time for this let's go

1203
01:13:54,051 --> 01:14:00,719
oh my god do we just

1204
01:14:38,727 --> 01:14:43,056
nervous is all fuck today just want to

1205
01:14:43,057 --> 01:14:48,205
make sure we have everything all right I

1206
01:14:48,206 --> 01:14:51,305
don't think I can tell you huh nurse

1207
01:14:51,306 --> 01:14:55,436
that's you be careful with that

1208
01:14:57,476 --> 01:15:01,895
you're the 45 and the carmine who JC

1209
01:15:01,896 --> 01:15:04,765
block I take the Glock do you want it

1210
01:15:04,766 --> 01:15:07,670
it's not gonna start taping again it's

1211
01:15:07,671 --> 01:15:11,405
not gonna keep over what we did it's not

1212
01:15:11,406 --> 01:15:13,970
gonna erase anything no you sure you

1213
01:15:13,971 --> 01:15:20,360
started at first spot yeah good what are

1214
01:15:20,361 --> 01:15:24,184
you doing the bullet shit dude I want

1215
01:15:24,185 --> 01:15:26,720
you to know like I couldn't have done

1216
01:15:26,721 --> 01:15:28,820
this with anyone else

1217
01:15:28,821 --> 01:15:31,534
like I don't know what would have

1218
01:15:31,535 --> 01:15:36,090
happened to me if we hadn't been friends

1219
01:15:36,091 --> 01:15:39,625
I don't think that uh

1220
01:15:42,875 --> 01:15:46,294
accurate darkness

1221
01:15:48,724 --> 01:15:56,724
without anybody outsider ready I mean

1222
01:15:58,074 --> 01:16:04,323
let's get this shit done let's kick the

1223
01:16:04,324 --> 01:16:07,103
tires and light the fires

1224
01:16:42,041 --> 01:16:45,760
much of emergency yeah we have units on

1225
01:16:45,761 --> 01:16:49,646
the way I can be fine do you see any

1226
01:16:49,647 --> 01:16:53,215
perpetrators they men with a gun so can

1227
01:16:53,216 --> 01:16:55,991
you tell me where you are how many

1228
01:16:55,992 --> 01:17:03,250
people can you see the perpetrators can

1229
01:17:03,251 --> 01:17:10,509
you see the guys with a boner hello can

1230
01:17:10,510 --> 01:17:18,510
you pick up hello there two shooters

1231
01:17:37,748 --> 01:17:45,747
ma'am hello can you pick up got a phone

1232
01:17:48,908 --> 01:17:56,908
call overturned his name is Andre Andre

1233
01:17:58,287 --> 01:18:04,827
Andre can you pick up hey everybody

1234
01:18:06,896 --> 01:18:14,896
several people in the room shots fired

1235
01:19:49,771 --> 01:19:57,770
laundry can you pick up why the victims

1236
01:20:01,390 --> 01:20:03,780
talking

1237
01:22:04,895 --> 01:22:08,405
should be coming out

1238
01:22:08,585 --> 01:22:16,584
oh look you fell are you doing buddy

1239
01:22:18,564 --> 01:22:26,223
Andre can you pick up Andre hello can

1240
01:22:26,224 --> 01:22:33,203
you pick up dude

1241
01:22:34,703 --> 01:22:42,703
Andre can you pick up anybody else alive

1242
01:22:51,243 --> 01:22:54,751
in here just us perpetrators indicating

1243
01:22:54,752 --> 01:22:58,801
no one in the room indicate no one in

1244
01:22:58,802 --> 01:23:05,691
the room alive hello can you pick up

1245
01:23:05,692 --> 01:23:13,691
Andre can you pick up Andre

1246
01:23:21,261 --> 01:23:29,261
Andre can you pick up look out there

1247
01:23:30,410 --> 01:23:33,089
that there's a lot of fucking cops they

1248
01:23:33,090 --> 01:23:36,749
see units good let's go get a couple no

1249
01:23:36,750 --> 01:23:39,385
you're talking about shooting and

1250
01:23:39,386 --> 01:23:42,490
responding units no come on go

1251
01:23:42,491 --> 01:23:45,195
perpetrators apprehensive okay what do

1252
01:23:45,196 --> 01:23:53,195
you lot how are you done okay you're

1253
01:23:55,950 --> 01:24:03,950
done shot by cops there yes you're right

1254
01:24:05,549 --> 01:24:10,638
we're gonna have an attempted suicide

1255
01:24:10,639 --> 01:24:13,637
you get and you know I know right

1256
01:24:13,638 --> 01:24:16,887
talking about suicide yeah

1257
01:24:16,888 --> 01:24:21,987
Andre Andre Andre can you pick up the

1258
01:24:21,988 --> 01:24:29,987
phone Andre we can work this out can you

1259
01:24:30,507 --> 01:24:33,047
pick up the line

1260
01:24:35,897 --> 01:24:39,086
Andre can you answer hey Andre where are

1261
01:24:39,087 --> 01:24:45,896
you Andre where are you I think they're

1262
01:24:45,897 --> 01:24:52,785
gonna do it I can't do it

1263
01:24:52,786 --> 01:24:56,005
Andres apprehensive I can't do it

1264
01:24:56,006 --> 01:25:00,715
man perpetrators apprehensive alright

1265
01:25:00,716 --> 01:25:03,475
Audrey I can't we can get you out of

1266
01:25:03,476 --> 01:25:06,535
this Andre Andre I can get you out of

1267
01:25:06,536 --> 01:25:10,850
this just pick up the phone

1268
01:25:10,851 --> 01:25:13,434
Andre Andre we'll get you out of that

1269
01:25:13,435 --> 01:25:15,655
doesn't have to be this way are you

1270
01:25:15,656 --> 01:25:18,280
angry

1271
01:25:18,281 --> 01:25:20,904
Andre we can get you out of here Andre

1272
01:25:20,905 --> 01:25:25,134
can you answer yes Andre we can get you

1273
01:25:25,135 --> 01:25:27,524
out of this

1274
01:25:30,674 --> 01:25:33,143
one two three go

1275
01:25:33,144 --> 01:25:39,473
or one two go one two three go

1276
01:25:39,474 --> 01:25:42,039
when we shoot I'm 40 we shoot on three I

1277
01:25:42,040 --> 01:25:44,664
can get you out of this just pick up the

1278
01:25:44,665 --> 01:25:46,778
phone everybody see that for ya I was

1279
01:25:46,779 --> 01:25:50,108
like one two or three true numbers three

1280
01:25:50,109 --> 01:25:54,068
bang one two three

1281
01:25:54,069 --> 01:25:56,812
bang not one to Andre

1282
01:25:56,813 --> 01:26:01,492
one Andre who we can get you out of this

1283
01:26:01,493 --> 01:26:09,492
watch it shots fired perpetrators maybe

1284
01:26:11,722 --> 01:26:14,052
down

1285
01:26:20,372 --> 01:26:23,452
opening window open

1286
01:26:34,141 --> 01:26:38,280
fucking media stake that all over the

1287
01:26:38,281 --> 01:26:40,606
place you know we're gonna be on the

1288
01:26:40,607 --> 01:26:42,127
other side guys that's not even like

1289
01:26:42,152 --> 01:26:43,680
those guys can't see anything where

1290
01:26:43,681 --> 01:26:44,850
we're going

1291
01:26:44,851 --> 01:26:45,887
they'll just they're just gonna hear

1292
01:26:45,912 --> 01:26:47,580
about it in the morning right yeah is

1293
01:26:47,581 --> 01:26:51,175
that them can you see wait where right

1294
01:26:51,176 --> 01:26:53,960
there what right there see those crosses

1295
01:27:11,119 --> 01:27:16,819
right here Jason no

1296
01:27:23,827 --> 01:27:26,607
oh yes what's that noise getting louder

1297
01:27:26,608 --> 01:27:28,147
sitting idle

1298
01:27:28,148 --> 01:27:33,057
well what's the kid say older than one

1299
01:27:39,618 --> 01:27:43,106
watch those refrigerators okay truck do

1300
01:27:43,107 --> 01:27:46,272
you see anybody did not nobody just

1301
01:27:46,273 --> 01:27:49,287
won't be sure no they're right here much

1302
01:27:49,288 --> 01:27:51,732
better they are look people people wrote

1303
01:27:51,733 --> 01:27:53,487
shit all over it we love you on J we are

1304
01:27:53,488 --> 01:27:56,337
praying for you with this bullshit

1305
01:27:56,338 --> 01:27:58,507
gogo tossed out hold on go fucking douse

1306
01:27:58,508 --> 01:28:00,677
that hold on so good so good good

1307
01:28:06,146 --> 01:28:11,135
they're gonna fucking fun good one two

1308
01:28:11,136 --> 01:28:19,136
three get them up okay oh yeah Bert come

1309
01:28:25,235 --> 01:28:28,545
on let's go let's go let's go let's go

1310
01:28:28,546 --> 01:28:30,145
let's get the hell out

1311
01:28:35,055 --> 01:28:40,304
nice nice okay go go I got it

1312
01:28:58,963 --> 01:29:02,531
have you ever felt such glory

1313
01:29:02,532 --> 01:29:06,912
maybe in a lost mom or I'll never wanna

1314
01:29:06,913 --> 01:29:10,922
come back from again

1315
01:29:12,833 --> 01:29:17,482
and we really wanna be someone everybody

1316
01:29:17,483 --> 01:29:20,091
said we were something

1317
01:29:20,092 --> 01:29:23,802
I wish that I could feel like

1318
01:29:26,492 --> 01:29:31,112
could we really be much better

1319
01:29:35,011 --> 01:29:38,880
when we get there

1320
01:29:45,101 --> 01:29:46,550
it's been a

1321
01:29:46,551 --> 01:29:49,541
for the pig

1322
01:30:55,877 --> 01:31:01,567
come

1323
01:31:46,974 --> 01:31:49,035
you