Friends, let me introduce myself.
Peltzer's the name. Rand Peltzer.
That's me there on the corner.
I'm an inventor. And I have a story to tell.
Yeah, I know. Who hasn't got a story?
Well, nobody's got a story like this one.
Nobody.
It all started here, in Chinatown.
I was hitting the shops trying to move a little merchandise,
maybe find a present for my kid.
I tried this one place.
Hey. Wait a minute.
- What's down here? - This is it.
- This is your grandfather's store? - Yeah.
Come on.
No wonder you gotta drag people in off the street.
Hey, go ahead, mister. Look around.
See if there's something you like.
Ah.
Are these things real?
I told you, everything's real.
Well, friends. You do have a lot of interesting artifacts here,
but there's one thing you don't have.
And what's that?
Let me show you. I've got it right here. I'm an inventor. I made this.
The Bathroom Buddy.
It's the invention of the century, friends.
It eliminates the need to carry heavy luggage and things when you travel.
You got yourself your shaving mirror,
you got yourself your toothbrush, a toothpick. You got toenail clippers...
You got a nail file,
and you got yourself a dental mirror.
This is gonna revolutionize traveling.
Now, let's just say, for the sake of argument,
that you're on a bus, a plane or a train.
You forgot to brush your teeth.
You got yourself a bad case of dragon breath.
Bad breath. Now, what do you do?
No problem, friend. All you do is, you take your toothbrush out,
and you push this button.
That's absolutely no problem.
Cleans up easily.
Now, what I'd like to do, sir, I'd like to give you my card.
Rand Peltzer. "Fantastic Ideas for a Fantastic World."
I make the illogical logical.
Now, sir, I can get you these.
I can get them by the dozen if you'd like.
What do you think?
Oh.
Where's that coming from?
- What is that? - Mogwai.
- What's he doing? - Singing.
He does that sometimes.
I gotta have him. He's incredible.
Tell you what I'll do.
- I'll give you $100 for him. - No.
Look, I've gotta have him. It's a present for my son for Christmas.
It's exactly what I've been looking for.
I've been everywhere. I'll give you $200.
That's $200.
I'm sorry.
Mogwai not for sale.
I thought you said everything in your grandfather's store was for sale.
Grandfather!
With mogwai comes much responsibility.
I cannot sell him at any price.
Wait outside. I'll be right out. Just go.
- Okay, mister, here it is. - Oh, right.
What about your grandfather?
Forget what he said. He's crazy. We need the money.
- Now, come on. Do you want it, or not? - I want it.
Look, mister. There's three rules you've gotta follow.
Yeah? What kind of rules?
Keep him out of the light.
He hates bright light, especially sunlight.
It'll kill him.
And keep him away from water. Don't get him wet.
But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget...
No matter how much he cries no matter how much he begs,
never, never feed him after midnight. You got it?
Sure, kid. Whatever you say.
Hey, listen, thanks. And have a merry Christmas.
Hey, gang. You're rolling with Rockin' Ricky Rialto,
the voice of Kingston Falls, USA!
Simon!
Hey, Alex.
Getting close to Christmas.
Looks like you're gonna get stuck with a lot of trees again this year.
- I thought I'd see you about this time. - Huh?
- Ow! - What the hell is this?
Hey. What are you doing in there?
Don't ask.
Alex, I came to get my tree.
Pete, take that tree to Mr. Anderson's truck.
Gee, Dad.
What do you say, Alex?
Come on. You can spare one for the boys down at the sheriff's station.
I paid for mine, Frank.
Hey, Billy, what's the matter? You need a jump?
No, thanks, Mr. Futterman. I'm pretty much late for work as it is.
These goddamn foreign cars, they always freeze up on you.
You don't find American machinery doing that.
That stuff can take anything.
See that plow?
Fifteen years old. Hasn't given me a day's trouble in 15 years.
You know why? Kentucky Harvester.
It ain't some foreign piece of crap you pick up these days.
- That's a Kentucky Harvester. - Hmm.
If I wanna keep my job, I really think I should be going now.
Hey, how's that, uh, comic strip of your's coming?
I expect to see you in the funnies any day now,
with Smilin' Jack and Li'l Abner.
Oh, Mr. Futterman, they don't run those comics anymore.
They don't?
- Oh. - Come on, Barn.
- Say hello to your wife for me, okay? - Yeah, sure.
- See you later. - So long, Billy.
Goddamn foreign cars.
Hey, Dr. Murrow.
Morning, Billy. Morning.
- Morning, Tom. - Hey, Billy. Barney.
Get in there, and be quiet.
- You just made it. - Again.
Billy, will you sign this petition?
Yeah, sure. What's it for?
We're trying to have Dorry's pub declared a landmark.
Mrs. Deagle's trying to take his lease away.
His, too, huh?
Yeah, she says it's a dive, a public nuisance.
That's where my dad proposed to my mom, you know.
That's where everybody's dad proposed to their mom. Cross your "T."
Thanks.
- Good morning, Mrs. Deagle. - What's good about it?
Oh.
Klutz!
Watch it, watch it, watch it!
Forty, 60, 80...
Uh...
Two hundred. Thank you.
- Mrs. Deagle? - What? What? What?
I just wanted you to let you know that Joe himself got another job...
My husband, Joe Harris.
And I've taken up some sewing on the side.
Mrs. Harris, what are you trying to tell me?
I'm afraid that neither of us will be paid for two weeks.
Couldn't you get Mr. Corben to...
Well, to just give us a little more time?
Mrs. Harris,
the bank and I have the same purpose in life,
to make money.
Not to support a lot of deadbeats!
Mrs. Deagle, it's Christmas!
Now, you know what to ask Santa for, don't you?
Mommy, I'm hungry.
Yes, honey. So am I.
This is what's left of my imported Bavarian snowman.
Your dog broke it this morning.
Oh.
I'm terribly sorry.
Just tell me how much I owe you, I'll be more than happy...
I don't want money.
I want your dog.
Barney?
Give him to me.
I'll take him to the kennel. They'll put him to sleep.
It'll be quick and painless, compared to what I could do to him.
What could you do?
I'll catch the beast myself.
Then he'll get what he deserves.
A slow, painful death.
Maybe I'll put him in my spin dryer on high heat.
That'd do it, all right.
Barney! Barney!
Barney, will you get off of her?
My dear lady, are you all right?
I have a very weak heart. I can't stand a shock like that!
What is that dog doing in here?
Peltzer, this is a bank, not a pet store!
- Very good, Gerald. - Thank you, Mr. Corben.
Barney wouldn't have hurt you, Mrs. Deagle, honestly...
Excuses, excuses. You're just like your father.
I've listened to his miserable excuses for ten years, the loser.
As for you, you mangy cur,
I'll get you...
When you least expect it.
Oh, my heart! Oh!
I must apologize for this most unusual...
You putz.
Hmm. The old bat never looked better.
It's great. You're doing fine.
Thanks.
Hello, Gerald.
If it isn't Captain Clip-on.
Hey, guess who almost applied for unemployment today?
- I give up. - You.
But Mr. Corben had second thoughts.
He gets so sentimental about the holidays.
- Imagine that. - Yeah.
I would've fired you in a second.
Merry Christmas to you, too.
Excuse me, Mr. Jones.
Hey, Peltzer.
Look, I'm a junior vice president at 23.
By the time I'm 25, I'm gonna have Mr. Corben's job.
By the time I'm 30, I'll be a millionaire. Look at you.
You're practically supporting your whole family.
The world's changing, Peltzer.
You gotta change with it. You gotta be tough.
Tough, huh? And no one's tougher than you, Ger?
Don't call me that. My name's Gerald.
Can I get you a drink?
Uh, give me a vodka martini. Shake, don't stir.
You're working here?
Yeah, weeknights, so, Dorry doesn't have to pay an extra waitress.
Well, I think that's great.
Yeah, that's real swell, if you like working for nothing.
Two more rounds for the pool table, and they're all on the house.
Okay.
Hey, Kate.
You haven't seen my new apartment.
I haven't seen your old apartment.
Come on, we're talking cable. Can we have dinner tomorrow night?
I'm working.
Why don't you tell Dorry you're sick?
He can't dock your pay.
Billy, is that you?
Yeah, Mom, it's me.
I'm in the kitchen!
- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, George!
Merry Christmas, movie house!
Merry Christmas, emporium!
- Hi, Mom. - Hi, sweetie.
Do you need any help?
Um... Yeah, you could do the eggs.
- Okay. - Thanks.
Dad's machines, they work so well the first couple of weeks, then...
Use the sink.
Mom, is something wrong?
No. No, it's a sad movie.
- How was your day? - It was fine.
Mom, come on, what is it? What's wrong?
Mrs. Deagle called again this afternoon.
Let's not talk about it right now. Okay? Don't say anything to Dad.
Fine with me.
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa la la la la la La la la
Hi, sweetheart.
- Welcome home. - Hey, Dad.
Oh, I'm glad you're back. How was the trip?
- It was great. - Yeah?
Yeah. The Miracle Company, the people who have the Kitchen Companion,
they just might be interested in the Bathroom Buddy.
Oh, great.
- Oh, thanks, Dad. - You're gonna like this.
What is it? A birdcage?
No, no, no, don't shake it. You're gonna have to open it now.
It won't wait till Christmas.
It's a puppy, isn't it?
Yeah, it is. I can tell.
It's a new car.
Oh, honey, would you dim the lights, please?
Sure.
Dim the lights? Dad, what, does it glow in the dark?
It's important. Trust me.
Go ahead, open it.
- What is it? - No.
It's your new pet.
Come on, Barney. Be a good dog.
You're kidding.
Dad, it's really neat.
Where'd you get this?
Oh, some little junk store in Chinatown.
- Can I pick him up, Dad? - Sure, go ahead. Just be careful.
- You gotta be gentle. - I will.
I hope he's housebroken.
Hey.
Oh, isn't he cute?
Has it got a name, Dad?
Yeah, Mogwai.
- What? - Mogwai.
- Mogwai! - I don't know. Some Chinese word.
I just call him "Gizmo." He seems to like it.
Okay.
Gizmo.
Look up here a minute.
Hey. We're getting our picture taken. Smile.
Ready?
One, two, three...
- No, no. - Bright light! Bright light!
What happened?
He hates bright lights.
There's some things I forgot to tell you guys,
and they're really important.
Number one, he hates bright lights. We know that.
But you gotta keep him out of the sunlight.
Sunlight will kill him.
Number two, keep him away from water.
Don't give him any water to drink. Whatever you do, don't give him a bath.
And probably the most important thing,
don't ever feed him after midnight.
Gizmo.
Shh.
Uh-oh.
Looks like you hurt yourself.
Light bright! Light bright!
Just sit down there and don't fall off, okay?
I'll get you fixed up in no time.
All right.
Hold still.
Sorry. Sorry.
Try not to move so much, okay?
Good night, Giz. I'll see you in the morning.
Hello.
Mrs. Peltzer?
I got a tree.
Oh, Christ.
Billy!
Hey, Billy.
I just brought in your Christmas tree.
What happened?
Slight problem with the Peltzer Peeler-Juicer.
I thought your dad fixed it.
I thought so, too.
You know, you should just buy orange juice in cartons.
It's a lot easier.
See, it works.
- I had to come. - So I see.
Now, I can see. It takes a certain kind of guy.
And that guy needs a certain kind of dame.
It's no problem, Pete. You can leave it up here.
What are you gonna tell him?
I'll just tell him a bunch of bikers stole it from me on my way home.
Wow. The Hooded Menace. Issue number one.
It's pretty neat, huh?
Yeah. Where'd you get it?
Oh, Dr. Fantasy's, I think.
- What's that? - Come here. I'll show you.
This is my new pet. My dad gave him to me.
Neat. What's his name?
His name's Gizmo. Hi, Giz.
- He's a mogwai. - Mogwai!
Gizmo.
Cute.
Blink your eyes.
Go like that. Can you do that, huh? Go like that?
Now, watch, Pete. Maybe he'll sing.
Come on, Giz. Let's go over to the table.
I'll be careful.
There we go.
Gee, Billy, where can I get one of those?
I don't know. This is the only one I've ever seen.
Can I hold him?
Sure. I don't see why not. He seems to like you.
Great. Thanks a lot.
Sorry.
What was in that jar?
Nothing. Just water!
Why is he making that noise?
What is it?
I don't know.
Is it alive?
I don't know.
One, two, three, four, five new ones.
Now, can I have one?
Oh, I don't know, Pete.
Hey, look, that one's got a cute stripe on its head.
Hi, cutie.
Isn't that incredible, Pete?
Yeah, great.
Now, I mean, don't you think this is... This is incredible!
Oh, it is neat.
I'm serious. It's neat.
Oh, Gizmo, what's the matter?
- No, no, no. - Hey, Dad?
Dad?
I really think there's something I should tell you...
Billy, look at this.
Now, you're familiar with the Bathroom Buddy, right?
- Uh-huh. - I have made an improvement.
Watch this.
Now, let's say, you're late for the big meeting.
It's really important.
You're on your way. You reach up. Ah. You forgot to shave.
Now, what're you gonna do? Under normal circumstances,
you are in trouble.
But not if you have the Bathroom Buddy. Right?
Watch this.
Voilà.
What do you think?
Say, that's pretty neat.
- Oh, what's this button... - No, don't push that.
- Sorry, Dad. - It's okay.
No, I'm really sorry.
It's not your fault. I'm working on that.
I haven't finished that. I'm gonna get that tomorrow.
Dad, the reason I came up here
is 'cause there's a problem with the mogwai.
Yeah, what's that?
Well, it multiplies with water.
What?
Dad, do you see what I mean?
I don't believe it.
All that from water? They got wet?
Yeah, plain water.
It's funny. The new ones aren't like Gizmo.
The one with the stripes seems to be the leader.
- You know what? - What?
I'll bet every kid in America would like to have one of these.
Hmm.
They might even replace the dog as the family pet.
Think about it.
"The Peltzer Pet."
This could really be the big one.
Barn?
Barney?
Oh, man. That dog...
Barney?
Barney, who did this to you?
Hold on, I'll get you down. Stay still.
Poor dog. Another minute, and he would've been a dog-sicle.
Look, all I know is that I'm positive that I closed and locked the door.
Well, Dad, then how else did she get to him?
Billy, we can't point any fingers, not even at Mrs. Deagle.
Mom, she's been threatening him for weeks.
You know she'd love to get her hands on him.
I know, honey, but we don't have any proof.
We can't even find any footprints leading up to the house.
Billy, I'm gonna take Barney to your grandmother's.
I'll take him there on the way to the convention,
Christmas Eve, I'll pick him up on the way home.
He'll be here for Christmas. It's gonna be all right.
I don't think we can drink this.
Why not?
What's wrong with this?
Hey, Billy. Is that a mogwai?
Mogwai, yeah, I'm gonna have Mr. Hanson check it out.
And all of a sudden, there were five new ones like this one.
Now, watch this.
Uh-oh.
Um...
Can I keep one of these here, run some tests on him?
Yeah. I think I can spare one.
Knock-knock.
This is some Christmas, Katie, I'll tell you.
First the old bat closes up the factory, and now, it's my goddamn plow.
Mr. Futterman, guess what? It's time to go home now.
- How about one more beer? - No, it's late.
One more beer, I'll help you clean up this mess.
No, thanks, though. It'll be okay.
- It'll be okay. - It will not be okay.
How'd you, how'd you like to bring your plow in for a tune-up
and find it loaded with foreign parts. Huh?
I mean, everything. Gaskets, pistons, spark plugs.
All of it's foreign.
- Hey, Billy. - Hi.
- Going home? - Oh. Oh, yeah.
Gremlins.
You gotta watch out for the foreigners
'cause they plant gremlins in their machinery.
The same gremlins brought down our planes in the big one.
- Big one? - That's right.
World War II.
Good old W-W-I-I.
You know, they're still shipping them over here.
They put them in the cars, they put them the TV.
They put them in the stereos, and the radios you stick in your ears.
They put them in the watches.
We got little teeny gremlins from their watches...
I don't think it's such a good idea that you drive. Why don't you walk home?
You know, Katie, I think maybe I'll walk home.
- Good. - It's a nice night.
- Good night, kids. - Good night.
Ah.
Gremlins.
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright
Round yon Virgin
Mother and Child
Holy infant...
That was really good, you know, the way you handled Mr. Futterman.
Oh, I'm used to it.
He's been like that ever since he lost his job.
He's like a lot of people around here. He just wants somebody to listen.
Especially around the holidays.
Why is that?
It's when a lot of people get really depressed.
Oh.
That's funny, you know,
because I always thought everyone was happy during the holidays,
no matter what.
Well, most people are, but some aren't.
While everybody else is opening their presents,
they're opening up their wrists.
Cheery thought.
It's true. The suicide rate's always the highest around the holidays.
Now I'm depressed. Do you ever get depressed on Christmas?
I don't celebrate Christmas.
What, are you Hindu, or something?
No, I just don't like to.
What's not to like? I mean, it's a lot of fun.
God!
Say you hate Washington's Birthday or Thanksgiving, and nobody cares.
But say you hate Christmas,
everybody makes you feel like you're a leper or something.
- I'm sorry. - No, it's okay.
I'm sorry. I'm just a little tired and cranky.
Yeah.
Well...
Thanks for walking me home, Billy.
Hey, no problem.
- Good night. - Good night.
Uh, Kate?
Um...
I was just wondering, uh, do you get any free nights off from Dorry's?
Thursdays.
Thursdays, yeah.
Because, I mean, I was just wondering, uh,
if you're not doing anything this Thursday night,
maybe you'd like to, uh, go out on a date
with me?
I'd love to.
Oh, yeah?
Well, that's great.
Yeah, well, we can talk about it, you know, on the phone and kind of
square everything away.
Good night, Billy.
'Night.
Hey there.
Give me your arm, boy. Come here, come on.
Give me your arm. No, no, this is not gonna hurt.
This isn't gonna hurt.
Not a big guy like you. Come on.
There you go. See, that's not so bad. Come on.
Good, good. That's good. Okay.
Just a little blood test, pal. You'll never miss it.
They're like huge seed pods.
This must be the way that body in my closet was formed.
Miles, where did they come from?
- Having fun? - Fun.
- Pretty neat, huh? - Neat.
What is with you guys? How about shutting up for a change, okay?
I already fed you.
Well, it's not twelve o'clock yet.
All right. Keep an eye on them, Giz. I'll be back in a second.
Here we go.
Now, maybe, you guys will be quiet.
Hey, you guys are really hungry.
Hey, Giz, you want some?
Do you want some chicken?
No?
All right.
Yum-yum.
That's it, good buddy. Call it a night.
You fools, you're in danger!
Can't you see? They're after you!
They're after all of us! Our wives, our children, everyone!
They're here already! You're next!
You're next. You're next! You're next!
You're next!
Uh-oh!
- Mom? - Yeah?
Mom, could you come up here, please?
Then I want you to bring the vacuum cleaner upstairs for me.
What are they?
Well, they're the mogwai, I guess. Except for Gizmo.
Did you get them wet, or something?
No.
Did you feed them after midnight?
Well, I gave them some chicken. But I made sure that it...
No, no, no. Wait a minute.
I made sure...
Mom? What's going on here?
Mogwai...
Yuck!
What'd you say this was called? A "putrid stage"?
Pupal. Pupal stage.
- Like a butterfly. - Yeah, right.
Right. This is a cocoon, and inside, he's going through changes.
Lots of changes.
Like my mother.
No. No, that's different.
This is called a metamorphosis.
It's a change in form, and in appearance.
Hello?
Hello? Hi, honey.
No, I'm sure it works fine.
I was just out on the back porch for a second.
The convention's great.
Yeah.
I said... I said, it's great.
Actually, the competition's, uh...
Sorry, miss.
The competition's a little more advanced than I expected.
I was giving myself an oil...
Some really neat things.
Oh, Rand.
You've never been so far away on Christmas Eve before.
I know it's Christmas Eve.
I'll do the best I can.
All right. Bye-bye.
All I could get for it was $36. It was their wedding ring...
If there's anything I can do... But it's completely out of my hands.
- Excuse me. - I'll be absolutely delighted...
- Hello, Mrs. Harris. - Hello, Gerald.
- I'm under such terrible pressure. - Mr. Corben, don't you...
Why don't you just speak to Mrs. Deagle about it?
- If you just speak to her about it. - Speak to Mrs. Deagle?
- Maybe... - See, I could...
Mrs. Deagle!
Deposit this to my account.
Where's that psychotic canine of yours?
Still hiding under the counter?
Uh, no, I'm afraid he's on vacation.
You'd better keep him behind locked doors, because if I catch him,
he's in for a slow death.
Here's Mr. Bird's heart.
Small animals lose heat faster than large ones.
So their blood must circulate faster to keep their bodies warm.
Now, in small birds,
their hearts beat about 600 times per minute.
Cats, 130.
Man, about 75,
and a big old elephant's heart, only 25 a minute.
Hey, Doc, you got a human heart?
Has he got a human heart? Wait till you see this. Roll 10.
Okay, class. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
And, uh, if any of you wanna bring me a Christmas present,
- uh, a cassette deck wouldn't be bad. - Mr. Hanson?
I just want to find out something...
Of course, tickets to the Super Bowl would be very nice. Or a Rolls-Royce...
Mr. Hanson, wait. Let me just talk to you for a second.
- Mr. Hanson? - ...make it red.
Bye.
...this seat of love and compassion
weights only about three-fourths of a pound.
Yet the work it turns out is almost incredible.
How long would you say that it takes your heart to pump a quart of blood?
Just standing around like this?
A quart, a couple of minutes, I guess.
You're way off.
Normally, the heart with pump a quart of blood in just about ten seconds.
In ten minutes, it would fill the gas tank of your car.
And it ten hours, it would fill a gas truck.
Billy...
It just hatched.
I'll be right there.
Uh...
Hey there.
You, uh, remember me?
Roy.
Huh?
Remember me, don't you?
I, uh, went and got you...
a candy bar.
I thought you might be hungry.
You hungry?
Hmm?
You should try one of these.
They, uh...
Hey. Hey.
Hey there. Uh...
Come here. Don't, don't be afraid. There's no reason to be afraid.
Where'd you go? Huh?
Where are you? I know you're in there.
I know you're under there.
Come on, now.
Hey. You're not still angry about that little blood test, are you?
Come on out. Take a bite. Let me see you. Hmm?
I just wanna, just wanna see you.
Here... Here, you...
You try some of this, now. I know you gotta be hungry.
Hmm?
Yum-yum.
Hey.
There now. Don't you feel better?
Mr. Hanson?
Ow!
Oh, yum.
Gizmo!
Yes, Billy, are you okay? Where are you?
Mom, they hatched. Get out of the house.
Phone home.
Mom? Mom?
Billy, what...
Yummy-yum.
Yum-yum-yum.
Get out of my kitchen!
Neat.
Aah.
Hey!
- Mom, are you all right? - I think so.
Mom, it's Stripe.
- Should I get it? - Yeah, go ahead and get it, honey.
Oh, I didn't mean that.
Hello, Dr. Molinaro. Can we come in, please?
My mom's had a bit of an accident.
Billy. Be careful.
What happened?
Giz?
Hey. Oh, sorry.
Bright light. Bright light.
Come here.
They almost got you, huh? Climb in here.
The question is totally without meaning.
Pardon me, sir. Stuff.
Thick and heavy.
Would 60 gallons be sufficient?
I rarely use it myself, sir. It promotes rust.
Don't worry, Giz, we'll find him.
No!
Gremlins, huh?
- Little monsters. - Right.
- Hundreds of them? - Well, I'm not sure. Maybe thousands.
Thousands.
Look, I know it sounds crazy. I know it does.
But in a matter of hours,
this town's gonna be turned into a major disaster area.
Now, you've got to warn people!
- You think this kid is drunk, Brent? - No, but you are.
I am not drunk!
Tell me something, Billy. Where do these little gremlins come from, huh?
All right.
- My father gave me one as a present. - Oh, Christ.
Does your father always give you vicious little monsters for a present?
No. No, they don't start out vicious at first.
Oh, of course, not.
They don't. They look like this.
Could you dim the lights in here, please?
Sure.
Go ahead, Brent. Dim the lights.
Gusto.
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la la la la
Right, Murray?
La la la
Sheila, will you quit messing with the TV?
- You have the thingy. - Huh?
Oh.
- Goddamn foreign TV. - Oh, now...
I told you we should've got a Zenith.
Foreigners.
I can't get a damn thing on this.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna check the antenna. Maybe the damn thing blew down.
Be careful, dear.
What the hell is that?
Aah!
Run! Run, Sheila!
Make it go away!
- It's them! - Murray, you're crazy.
There's a real gremlin in my cab.
Yum-yum.
Oh. Hello, Anderson. Wanna mail something, do you?
Yeah. Just a last-minute package, Father.
Be my guest.
That's strange.
Patriotic little fellow, ain't he?
Waving the flag and everything.
Hey, there. Coochie-coochie...
Be careful, Frank. He might tear your arm off.
You want me to put the cuffs on him?
Billy, tell me something, will you?
How come a cute guy like this
can turn into a thousand ugly monsters, huh?
Well, you see, this is before it enters the pupal stage.
The pupal stage.
Yeah, right. Plus, it multiplies with water.
Oh, Christ.
Hey, get the kid some water, will you?
I wouldn't do that, Sheriff.
Sheriff's office.
Yeah, speaking.
What?
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, we... We'll be right over.
What happened?
The Futtermans.
Something about a snowplow. A freak accident.
- It's the creatures! - Oh, the creatures.
The creatures are making it look like an accident.
Sheriff.
Sheriff, will you listen to me?
You listen to me, kid.
Go on home, take little Gizmo there,
sit by the fireplace and open your Christmas presents, okay?
Attaboy.
- Let me drive. - No, you're drunk.
You always get to drive.
Because I'm the sheriff, asshole.
Deagle, Deagle, Deagle!
Kopeck, you stop that, you bad kitty.
Kopeck's a bad kitty.
Ruble's a good little kitty.
We'll find you something to eat. She's a good kitty.
Here we go. Here we go. Come on.
All right, you stop that.
You stop it.
Oh. Oh.
Mean kitty, you start eating before everybody gets here.
Come on, Dollar Bill.
Yes, here we go, Dollar Bill.
Mommy'll fix you something good to eat here.
Everybody here?
All right, let go of Mommy's coat.
Here.
Christmas carolers.
I hate Christmas carolers.
Screechy-voiced little glue-sniffers.
I warned you brats.
Oh, what are they? What are they?
They're here!
Oh, they've come for me! They've come!
I'm not ready.
I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready.
My God, Frye! That was Mrs. Deagle.
Get them off! Get them off! Help me!
Jesus, Frank. That's Dave Meyers. He does Santa every year.
Get 'em off of me! Get 'em off of me!
Yeah.
What the hell is he doing now?
What's that stuff he's got all over him?
Huh?
Frank, I really think we should go now, okay?
Start the car, 'cause I'd really like to go back to the station now.
Frank, please.
Frank. Frank. Frank.
Frank!
Jesus, Frank.
What the hell are those things?
It's supposed to be Christmas. What the hell's going on?
- Shut up, will you? - Frank!
- The brakes! The brakes!
I don't believe it.
You're on with Rockin' Ricky! Go.
Hi, Rockin' Ricky. My name's Pete.
There's these little green guys with big teeth
running around town wrecking things.
Hey, kid. This is Christmas, not Halloween.
Listen, gang.
Rockin' Ricky's getting fed up with this Orson Welles crap!
So, cool. Will ya?
What's that? Kitty, what's that back there?
Some of Rockin' Ricky fans?
Hey! You're not a Rockin' Ricky fan.
Sir, I notice that you're a smoker.
Hmm?
I said, I notice that you're a smoker. I see the cigarettes.
I noticed, here, this broken ashtray.
Well, it's very fortunate that I happened to come by right now.
Let me introduce myself. My name's Randall Peltzer. I'm an inventor.
"Fantastic Ideas for a Fantastic World." I make the illogical logical.
And I have something here that I think you might be interested in.
Yes, sir, I do.
This is...
...the Peltzer Smokeless Ashtray.
I think this can solve your problem here, sir.
Please don't bite me.
Wait a minute.
Aah!
Aah! Okay.
Okay, okay.
- You all right? - Yes.
Let's get out of here.
Aah!
What's that? Aah!
Don't worry. He's with me. He's not one of them.
What's wrong? Why isn't the car starting?
All right. We're gonna have to make a run for it, okay?
One, two, three!
They've been here, too.
Billy, what are these things? Where do they come from?
They're gremlins, Kate.
Just like Mr. Futterman said.
Now, I have another reason to hate Christmas.
What are you talking about?
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas.
Oh, God. It was so horrible.
It was Christmas Eve.
I was nine years old.
Me and Mom were decorating the tree,
waiting for Dad to come home from work.
A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home.
So, Mom called the office. No answer.
Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing.
So, the police began a search.
Four or five days went by.
Neither one of us could eat or sleep.
Everything was falling apart.
It was snowing outside.
The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire.
And that's when I noticed the smell.
The firemen came and broke through the chimney top.
And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird.
And instead, they pulled out my father.
He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit.
He'd been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve,
his arms loaded with presents.
He was gonna surprise us.
He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly.
And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
Don't worry about that smoke. It'll stop. It's guaranteed.
Barney, shut up.
Don't start with me. I got a long way to go.
Shut up.
Where did they all go?
It'll be light soon.
I bet they're all together some place dark.
Mogwai!
Shh, Gizmo.
They're inside.
All of them?
Milk Duds.
What are they doing?
They're watching Snow White.
And they love it.
Where's the boiler room?
It's in the back of the theater. Come on.
Down there.
Milk Duds.
Yum.
Ah.
Yum-yum.
Cover your mouth. Don't breathe any gas.
Uh-oh.
- Billy. - Go.
Billy!
- Hurry up. - Move, Katie! Watch out!
Come on!
Billy... In the department store.
Oh, Stripe.
Gizmo!
That's Stripe. He's the leader.
If he gets to water, it'll start all over again.
Take Giz, go back and try and find some kind of light switch.
Careful, Billy.
Billy!
...Ward is your snowplow headquarters.
Attention, Christmas shoppers.
Saturday morning at 8:30, we'll have Santa Claus for all the kiddies.
That's right. Santa Claus...
Don't forget... We have the Kingston Falls...
Attention, Christmas shoppers.
Light bright.
Bye-bye, Billy!
...massive reports of the gremlins...
It takes a certain kind of guy.
And that guy needs a certain kind of dame.
Glub glub.
Water!
Gun!
Hey, gang! It's been a rough night for Rockin' Ricky,
but he's still on the air!
The Marines are standing by with fire hoses.
Barney! Barney!
...we're gonna turn the hoses on them!
Billy.
Move!
Gizmo!
Gizmo caca!
Light bright! Light bright!
Light bright!
What the hell is that?
Come here, Giz. You okay?
Dad, your scarf?
We switch now to a live report
from the scene of the Christmas Eve riots.
- We're on? - We're on.
This is Lew Landers, WDHB's Action Central News,
at the site of Dorry's Tavern,
or what used to be Dorry's Tavern, in Kingston Falls,
where officials are now blaming
mass hysteria for the escalating series of unexplained
accidents, fires and explosions that rocked this once-peaceful town
on Christmas Eve.
The bizarre demise of Mrs. Ruby Deagle,
widow of convicted stock-swindler Donald Deagle, seems to spell an end...
Don't chew that. Don't chew.
I bet he'd like some chicken soup.
Oh, honey, this is the gentleman who sold me the mogwai.
"Sold." An interesting choice of words.
Papa!
Conflicting eyewitness reports concerning "little green men."
You teach him to watch television?
- I... - Oh, no.
There was, I believe, a box.
Oh. Here. It's here.
Dad...
Rand, your scarf.
I warned you.
With mogwai comes much responsibility.
But you didn't listen.
And you see what happens.
I didn't mean it.
You do with mogwai what your society
has done with all of nature's gifts.
You do not understand.
You are not ready.
- Papa? - Yes?
Uh...
He has something to say to you.
You mean you understand what he says when he speaks to you?
To hear, one has only to listen.
Bye, Billy.
Perhaps, someday, you may be ready.
Until then, mogwai
will be waiting.
Excuse me, sir.
Before you go, I just wanted to tell you
that I am truly sorry for what's happened.
And, uh, if you would accept it, I'd like to
give you this small token.
This is the only one. There's one other one.
But this is an invention of mine.
Smokeless Ashtray.
How did you know that?
Man at gas station tried to sell me.
Latest word in technology.
Very generous of you.
I'm sure it will come in handy.
Bye-bye.
Well, that's the story.
So, if your air conditioner goes on the fritz,
or your washing machine blows up,
or your video recorder conks out...
...before you call the repairman,
turn on the lights, check all the closets and cupboards,
look under all the beds.
Because you never can tell.
There just might be a gremlin in your house.