1 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,432 Goddamn bugs. 2 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,953 Oh, shit. 3 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:28,834 Oh, crap. 4 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,516 Well, Nick the Dick. What a surprise. 5 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,726 Where you coming from, Nick? 6 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,146 -Fishing in Cuernavaca. -Mm-hm. Sure you were. 7 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:51,649 What do you say we take a look at your catch, huh? 8 00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:53,192 Come on. 9 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,159 Me, I would've thrown them back. 10 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:09,708 So, Nick, what do you get? 11 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,710 Like a hundred bucks a head? Two hundred? 12 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:15,464 Hope you saved it all for your lawyer because you are gonna need it. 13 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,847 -We'll take it from here. -Who the hell are you? 14 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,348 INS, Division 6. 15 00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:27,017 Division 67 I never heard of Division 6. 16 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,686 Really? 17 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:32,523 -Who you got your money on, Dee? -Tough call, Kay. 18 00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:36,026 What's up, how are you? 19 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,278 Good, good. 20 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:38,446 Okay. 21 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,448 Grandma, don't worry. 22 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,075 Welcome to the United States. 23 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,911 Where are you going, Nogales? 24 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,913 Looking for work? 25 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,874 And you, the same? 26 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,584 And you? 27 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,544 Pleasure seeing you here. 28 00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,629 And you? 29 00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:59,091 What if I break your face? 30 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,762 You're very ugly, no? 31 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,725 You don't speak a word of Spanish. 32 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,979 - We've got a winner, Dee. -Oh, I know. 33 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,690 The rest of you can leave. 34 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,358 Don't move! 35 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:17,776 Get in the truck and leave. 36 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:19,945 Sir. Sir, you can't just-- 37 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,572 Don't "sir" me, young man. 38 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:25,075 You have no idea who you're dealing with. 39 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:29,330 Get in the truck right now! 40 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:34,627 We'll have a little chat with our friend. You fellas can hit the road. 41 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,589 Keep on protecting us from the dangerous aliens. 42 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,595 You ever hear of Division 6? 43 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,848 -There is no Division 6. -This is bullshit. 44 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,808 Hell, yeah. 45 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,979 Looks like you fell off the bus in the wrong part of town, amigo. 46 00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:56,982 I'll bet dollars to pesos you're not from anywhere near here. 47 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:02,530 Mikey? 48 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:12,248 Mikey, when did they let you out of jail? 49 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,333 Political refugee, right. 50 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,628 You know how many treaties you just violated? 51 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,964 -One? -Try seven. 52 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:25,761 That's enough, Mikey. You hand me that head. 53 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,810 Put up your arms and all your flippers. 54 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,823 Aw, shit. 55 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:50,536 Dee, shoot him. 56 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,002 Deel! 57 00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:18,355 Th-- Th-- 58 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,150 Th-- Th-- 59 00:07:21,317 --> 00:07:22,901 -"That." That... 60 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,112 Wa-- Wa-- Wa-- 61 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,822 Was not human. I know. 62 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:30,034 Looks like you got some entrails on you there, pal. 63 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,911 What the hell? The situation's under control. 64 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,748 Calm down, please. Give me your attention for a moment. 65 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,541 I'll be glad to tell you what happened. 66 00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:48,260 This is called a neuralyzer. 67 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,971 It's a gift from some friends from out of town. 68 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,558 This red eye here will isolate the electronic impulses in your brains. 69 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,519 More specifically, the ones for memory. That's good, fellas. 70 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,688 Give me a splay burn around the perimeter... 71 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:02,483 ...with holes at 40, 60 and 80 meters from right here. 72 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,193 Thank you. 73 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,451 -That's good. Thank you. -What in the hell is going on? 74 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:14,244 Excellent question. 75 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,081 And the answer you're looking for lies right here. 76 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,003 -Who are you, really? Really? 77 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:27,424 I am just a figment of your imagination. 78 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:34,139 Damn, what a gullible breed. 79 00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:38,268 I'm serious, fellas. You're lucky to be alive after a blast like that. 80 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:39,436 What blast? 81 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,146 The underground gas main, genius. 82 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,024 You need to exercise more caution before discharging your firearms... 83 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,944 ...I'Il tell you that right now. Especially you. 84 00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:49,113 Have yourself checked out with EMS... 85 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,782 ...on the other side of the hill before you leave. 86 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,170 I'm sorry about back there. 87 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:08,882 -It happens. -Didn't used to. 88 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,137 The spirit's willing, Kay... 89 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,265 ...but the rest of me.... 90 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:21,478 -They're beautiful, aren't they? -What? 91 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,647 The stars. 92 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:29,069 -We never just look anymore. -No. 93 00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:34,032 I'll tell you, Kay... 94 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,494 ...I will miss the chase. 95 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,169 No, Dee, you won't. 96 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:50,174 Freeze! N.Y.P.D. Freeze! 97 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,677 All yours, Edwards. 98 00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,222 "Freeze" means stop. 99 00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,933 Yo! Whoa! 100 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,731 What the hell? 101 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,235 All right. Ah.... Come on. 102 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,034 It just be raining black people in New York. 103 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,560 Do you see this? Huh? 104 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,646 "N-Y-P-D." 105 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,440 Means I will knock your punk ass down. 106 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,067 He's coming. He's coming. 107 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:52,653 Yeah, and when he gets here, I'll arrest his ass too. 108 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,451 Oh, you trying to catch a beat-down, huh? 109 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,186 What's up? 110 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,939 No. He's coming. 111 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,984 He's coming because I failed, and now he'll kill me too. 112 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:17,571 Yeah? Well, you're just pissing everybody off today, huh? 113 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:22,826 You don't understand. Your world's gonna end. 114 00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:26,663 What the hell are you? 115 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:34,504 Hey, watch that ledge. Watch the ledge. 116 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,173 Wait. Look, look, come on down. 117 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,842 We'll get those eyes fixed. Don't even worry about it. 118 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:41,386 Look, wait a minute. Let me talk to you. Hey! Hey! 119 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,646 I go out, I work my butt off to make a living. 120 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,940 All I want is to come home to a nice, clean house... 121 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:57,027 ...with a nice, fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison. 122 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,571 Don't you take that away. I'm eating that, damn it. 123 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,073 It is poison, isn't it? 124 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,659 I swear to God, I would not be surprised if it was... 125 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,745 ...the way you skulk here like a dog who been hit too much... 126 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,373 ...or ain't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind. 127 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,249 You're useless, Beatrice. 128 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:15,796 The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck. 129 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,599 Figures. 130 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,776 What the heck is it, Edgar? 131 00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:42,739 Get your big butt back in the house. 132 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:57,254 Place projectile weapon on the ground. 133 00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,131 You can have my gun... 134 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,633 ...when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. 135 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,094 Your proposal is acceptable. 136 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:49,806 -Edgar, what on Earth was that? -Sugar. 137 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,350 I've never seen sugar do that. 138 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,687 Give me sugar. 139 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,651 In water. 140 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,659 More. 141 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,372 More. 142 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,680 Edgar, your skin is hanging off your bones. 143 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:39,022 Oh, yeah. 144 00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:43,443 There. Is that better? 145 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,559 "The perpetrator then blinked two sets of eyelids." 146 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,269 You mean blinked with both eyes? 147 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:20,856 No, sir, he blinked one set, then he blinked a completely different set. 148 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:24,067 You know, like high beams and low beams. 149 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,320 Was that before or after he drew the weapon... 150 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,740 ...that you claim evaporated into a million pieces? 151 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,451 After, sir. 152 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:37,414 And why is it that none of the other officers saw either of these two events? 153 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,458 Sir, some of the other officers are a little soggy around the midsection. 154 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,252 I guess that's why they weren't able to keep up. 155 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,296 Hey, Edwards, if you were half the man I am-- 156 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,132 What the hell are you talking about? I am half the man that you are. 157 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,300 What is your problem? 158 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,594 My problem is you being all up in my damn face. 159 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,096 -I think he threw him off the roof. -Really? Maybe you next. 160 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,347 I wanna talk to you. 161 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,475 Ten minutes, you take your best shot, tough guy. 162 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:02,022 Take 10 minutes on a StairMaster, you pudgy bastard. 163 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:07,944 I believe you. 164 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,905 Laurel Weaver, deputy medical examiner. 165 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:12,199 Find me at the morgue on 26th. I'll show you. 166 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,284 Wait a minute. Hey, wait a minute. 167 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,037 Excuse me, you're Dr. Weaver... 168 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,623 ...with the coroner's office working on the John Doe, right? 169 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,542 -Yes, that's right. -Will you look at this, please? 170 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,134 Some night, huh? 171 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:34,763 -Yeah, some night. -They were gills, not eyelids. 172 00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:38,016 Gills. He was out of breath. 173 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,645 -Who are you? -Did he say anything to you? 174 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:44,648 Yeah, he said the world was coming to an end. 175 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,650 Did he say when? 176 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,116 Would you recognize that weapon of his if you saw it again? 177 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,660 Absolutely. 178 00:17:58,370 --> 00:17:59,996 Come on, let's take a ride. 179 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:03,166 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Look, I got tons of paperwork and-- 180 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,335 -Right, it's all done. -Good work, Edwards. 181 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:08,463 You really ran this dude down on foot? That's tough, kid. 182 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,548 That's double tough. 183 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:24,688 So who exactly are you with? FBI? NSA? 184 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,232 I'm part of a bureau that licenses, monitors... 185 00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:29,693 ...and polices alien activity on the planet Earth. 186 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,570 Yeah, whatever. We're here. 187 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,825 -This is where we going? -Yeah. 188 00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:39,953 This is Jack Jeebs' spot. He buys from chain-snatchers. 189 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,580 -He doesn't even sell guns. -Really? 190 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,834 Look, I'm gonna slide up in here and I'm gonna put my thing down... 191 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,253 ...but when I come back out, I want some real answers. 192 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,505 Okay, go put your thing down. 193 00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:58,555 Officer Eduardo. Oh, hey, how did these get here? 194 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,890 I thought I turned these in to the authorities. 195 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:02,934 The way I hear it, you into something... 196 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,770 -...a little hotter than stolen Rolexes. -I'm a huge crack dealer... 197 00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,689 ...but I still work here because I love the hours. 198 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:11,026 I'm talking about guns, smart-ass. Weird ones. 199 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,653 Come on, Edwards. What you see is what I got. 200 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,825 Why don't you show him the imports, Jeebs? 201 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:22,078 -Hey, Kay. How are you? -Show him the imports right now. 202 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,205 I got out of that business a long time ago. 203 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,417 -Why do you lie to me? I hate it. -Now, just hold on a second. 204 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:28,918 I'm gonna count to three. 205 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,128 -He'll do it. One. 206 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,172 -That man does not look stable. -Two. 207 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:35,008 You know what? Talk to me. He's crazy when he's like this. 208 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:38,261 He's always crazy. Why don't you get a massage? Take a cruise-- 209 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,471 -Three. -Drop the weapon. 210 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,348 -Put your hands on your head. -I warned him. 211 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,058 -Drop the weapon. -You warned him. 212 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,351 Don't make me kill you. 213 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:47,854 You insensitive prick. 214 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:53,443 Do you have any idea how much that stings? 215 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,946 Show us the merchandise or you'll lose another head, Jeebs. 216 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,835 Mr. Edwards. 217 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:17,300 Right there, the one in the middle. 218 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:23,723 You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity... 219 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,684 ...to an unlicensed cephalopoid, Jeebs, you piece of-- 220 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,561 He looked all right to me. 221 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,855 Must have been for an assassination. Who's the target? 222 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,440 -I don't know. -Goddamn it, Jeebs. 223 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:33,858 I don't know. 224 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,444 That's confiscated, all of it. 225 00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:38,530 I want you on the next transport off this rock... 226 00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:41,032 ...or I'm gonna shoot you where it don't grow back. 227 00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:44,869 Yeah, and.... 228 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:48,498 And I'm gonna be back to talk about them Rolexes. 229 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:13,356 Searching for a handle on the moment? 230 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,526 I can't help you. 231 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,362 The only comfort I can offer is my promise... 232 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,699 ...that tomorrow morning you won't remember a thing. 233 00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:25,535 Yeah, well, that's not exactly some shit you just forget. 234 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,579 You ever seen one of these, son? 235 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:35,253 She looks over at her husband, then she looks right back down in her lap... 236 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,504 ...and she says: 237 00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:40,258 "Honey, this one's eating my popcorn." Ha-ha-ha! 238 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:46,055 Did you get it? "This one's eating my pop--" 239 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:50,393 Whoa. I gotta go. Thanks for the egg rolls, kid. 240 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,938 -Hey, wait a minute. Who are you? -You see what I mean about tequila? 241 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:57,859 You're a very bright young man, James, but you need to lay off the sauce. 242 00:21:58,026 --> 00:22:00,487 Now, I'll see you bright and early, 9:00. 243 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:04,240 Be there or be square. 244 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,596 Well, well, well. 245 00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:30,099 Moving right in, are we? Think we own the place? 246 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:32,268 I got a little eviction notice for you boys. 247 00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:35,355 Just what exactly do you think you're doing here? 248 00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:39,108 -I'm taking care of your pest problem. -Pest problem? 249 00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:43,404 -Pest? -Yeah, you got a hell of an infestation. 250 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:46,491 You know, I've noticed an infestation here. 251 00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:47,992 Everywhere I look, in fact... 252 00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:52,205 ...nothing but undeveloped, unevolved, barely conscious pond scum... 253 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:55,124 ...totally convinced of their own superiority... 254 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:59,462 ...as they scurry about their short, pointless lives. 255 00:22:59,963 --> 00:23:02,340 Well, yeah. 256 00:23:02,507 --> 00:23:06,177 -Uh, don't you wanna get rid of them? -Oh, in the worst way. 257 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,675 -Help you? -Yeah, this dude gave me this card-- 258 00:23:45,842 --> 00:23:47,719 Elevator. 259 00:24:12,035 --> 00:24:14,871 You're late. Sit down. 260 00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:23,046 My name is Zed. 261 00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:25,882 You're all here because you're the best of the best. 262 00:24:26,049 --> 00:24:30,803 Marines, Air Force, Navy SEALS, Army Rangers, N.Y.P.D. 263 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,890 And we're looking for one of you, just one. 264 00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:36,726 What will follow is a series of simple tests... 265 00:24:36,893 --> 00:24:41,230 ...for motor skills, concentration, stamina. 266 00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:42,899 I see we have a question. 267 00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:45,568 Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, maybe you already answered this... 268 00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:48,321 ...but why exactly are we here? 269 00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:51,366 -Son? -Second Lieutenant Jake Jensen. 270 00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:53,076 West Point graduate with honors. 271 00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:57,747 We're here because you're looking for the best of the best of the best, sir. 272 00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:06,756 -What's so funny, Edwards? -Your boy Captain America over here. 273 00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:10,176 "The best of the best of the best, sir." 274 00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:11,803 You know, "With honors." 275 00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:15,932 You know, he's just really excited, and he has no clue why we're here. 276 00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:19,143 That's just-- That's very funny to me. 277 00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:21,604 Y'all ain't laughing, though. 278 00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:31,322 Okay, let's get going. 279 00:26:56,157 --> 00:26:57,200 Wanna get down on this? 280 00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,561 Edwards, what the hell happened? 281 00:27:25,728 --> 00:27:26,729 Hesitated. 282 00:27:29,649 --> 00:27:33,194 May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die? 283 00:27:33,361 --> 00:27:36,155 She was the only one that seemed dangerous at the time, sir. 284 00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,490 How'd you come to that conclusion? 285 00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:40,451 Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hanging from the streetlight. 286 00:27:40,618 --> 00:27:42,328 Then I realized he's just working out. 287 00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:44,330 How would I feel if somebody come in the gym... 288 00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:46,332 ...bust me in my ass while I'm on the treadmill? 289 00:27:46,499 --> 00:27:49,085 Then I saw this snarling beast guy. 290 00:27:49,252 --> 00:27:52,672 I noticed he had a tissue in his hand, and I realized he's not snarling... 291 00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:53,965 ...he's sneezing. 292 00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:56,759 Ain't no real threat there. Then I saw little Tiffany. 293 00:27:56,926 --> 00:28:00,137 I'm thinking, 8-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto... 294 00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:03,182 ...bunch of monsters, this time of night with quantum-physics books? 295 00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:06,060 She about to start some shit, Zed. She's about 8 years old. 296 00:28:06,227 --> 00:28:08,062 Those books are way too advanced for her. 297 00:28:08,229 --> 00:28:10,606 If you ask me, I say she's up to something. 298 00:28:10,773 --> 00:28:14,902 And to be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it. 299 00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:19,782 Or do I owe her an apology? 300 00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:29,667 That was a good shot, though, right? 301 00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,465 He's got a real problem with authority. 302 00:28:36,632 --> 00:28:38,050 Sodoll. 303 00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:41,387 But this kid ran down a cephalopoid on foot, boss. 304 00:28:41,554 --> 00:28:43,806 That's gotta be tough enough. 305 00:28:44,557 --> 00:28:46,976 Let's hope you know what you're doing. 306 00:28:55,151 --> 00:28:57,361 Gentlemen, congratulations. 307 00:28:57,528 --> 00:29:01,073 You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training. 308 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,867 Now, if you'll just follow me... 309 00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:07,163 ...we have one more test to administer: an eye exam. 310 00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:21,510 Where are you going? 311 00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:24,305 Yo. Hey, man, what the hell is all this? 312 00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:27,683 Back in the mid-1950s, the government started a little underfunded agency... 313 00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:29,518 ...with the simple and laughable purpose... 314 00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:31,520 ...of establishing contact with a race not of this planet. 315 00:29:31,687 --> 00:29:33,898 If you'll look directly at the end of this device... 316 00:29:34,065 --> 00:29:35,066 ...we'll administer the eye test. 317 00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:38,027 Everybody thought the agency was a joke except the aliens... 318 00:29:38,194 --> 00:29:41,781 ...who made contact March 2, 1961, outside New York. 319 00:29:41,948 --> 00:29:46,035 There were nine of us the first night: seven agents, one astronomer... 320 00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:48,537 ...and one dumb kid who got lost on the wrong back road. 321 00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:51,415 Aw, you brought that tall man some flowers. 322 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,043 This way. 323 00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,671 They were a group of intergalactic refugees. 324 00:29:56,837 --> 00:29:59,006 Wanted to use the Earth as an apolitical zone... 325 00:29:59,173 --> 00:30:00,800 ...for creatures without a planet. 326 00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:02,677 Did you ever see the movie Casablanca? 327 00:30:02,843 --> 00:30:04,387 -Same thing, except no Nazis. -Oh. 328 00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:07,848 We agreed and concealed all the evidence of their landing. 329 00:30:08,015 --> 00:30:10,184 Uh-huh. So these are real flying saucers... 330 00:30:10,351 --> 00:30:12,645 ...and the World's Fair was a cover-up for their landing? 331 00:30:12,812 --> 00:30:14,397 Why else would we hold it in Queens? 332 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:17,650 More nonhumans arrive every year, and they live among us in secret. 333 00:30:17,817 --> 00:30:20,444 Uh, look, I'm sorry, not to change the subject or anything... 334 00:30:20,611 --> 00:30:22,905 ...but when was the last time you had a CAT scan? 335 00:30:23,072 --> 00:30:24,740 Six months ago. It's company policy. 336 00:30:24,907 --> 00:30:26,617 Right, you should make another appointment. 337 00:30:26,784 --> 00:30:29,870 Uh, look, tell your boy Zed I had an absolutely wonderful time... 338 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:33,332 ...and thank you for everything, but why don't you show me the door? 339 00:30:33,499 --> 00:30:36,669 All right. I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some coffee? 340 00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:39,755 -No, thank you, I'm fine. -Okay. 341 00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:45,136 How you doing, fellas? 342 00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:47,513 -Hi, Kay. -Hi, Kay. 343 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,141 -That's not decaf, is it? -Viennese cinnamon. 344 00:30:50,433 --> 00:30:53,060 Don't tell me we only got that powdered stuff for cream again. 345 00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:54,520 I hate that stuff. 346 00:30:56,522 --> 00:31:00,609 Oh, that's good. Good, good. You guys getting along all right? 347 00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:04,363 Well, don't work too hard. 348 00:31:04,530 --> 00:31:06,282 Okay. Bye. 349 00:31:06,449 --> 00:31:07,616 So you guys seen...? 350 00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:10,077 Sure you don't want some coffee? 351 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:18,294 All right, kid, here's the deal. 352 00:31:18,461 --> 00:31:21,797 At any given time, there are around 1500 aliens on the planet... 353 00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:23,883 ...most of them right here in Manhattan. 354 00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:25,551 Most of them are decent enough. 355 00:31:25,718 --> 00:31:27,470 They're just trying to make a living. 356 00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:29,972 -Cabdrivers. -No, not as many as you'd think. 357 00:31:30,139 --> 00:31:31,932 Humans, for the most part, don't have a clue. 358 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,268 They don't want one or need one either. They're happy. 359 00:31:34,435 --> 00:31:38,773 They think they have a good bead on things. 360 00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:39,982 But why the big secret? 361 00:31:40,149 --> 00:31:42,902 -People are smart. They can handle it. -A person is smart. 362 00:31:43,069 --> 00:31:47,198 People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it. 363 00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:48,699 Fifteen hundred years ago... 364 00:31:48,866 --> 00:31:52,453 ...everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. 365 00:31:52,620 --> 00:31:55,998 Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat. 366 00:31:56,165 --> 00:32:00,795 And 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this planet. 367 00:32:02,379 --> 00:32:06,342 Imagine what you'll know tomorrow. 368 00:32:08,302 --> 00:32:10,513 -What's the catch? -The catch? 369 00:32:11,013 --> 00:32:13,557 The catch is, you will sever every human contact. 370 00:32:13,724 --> 00:32:17,353 Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere. 371 00:32:18,771 --> 00:32:19,855 Ever. 372 00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:26,028 I'll give you to sunrise to think it over. 373 00:32:29,365 --> 00:32:32,076 Hey. Is it worth it? 374 00:32:32,243 --> 00:32:34,370 Oh, yeah, it's worth it. 375 00:32:36,372 --> 00:32:38,624 If you're strong enough. 376 00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,810 What's up, pops? 377 00:33:49,987 --> 00:33:51,197 All right, I'm in. 378 00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,533 There's some next-level shit going on around here. I'm with that. 379 00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:56,243 But before y'all get to beaming me up... 380 00:33:56,410 --> 00:33:58,412 ...there's a couple things I want you to understand. 381 00:33:58,579 --> 00:34:01,957 First off, you chose me, SO you recognize the skills. 382 00:34:02,124 --> 00:34:04,210 I don't want nobody calling me "son" or "kid"... 383 00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:05,753 ...or "sport" or nothing like that. 384 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,630 -Cool? -Cool. Whatever you say, slick. 385 00:34:07,796 --> 00:34:11,091 But I need to tell you something about all your skills. 386 00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:13,552 As of right now... 387 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,348 ...they mean precisely dick. 388 00:34:30,361 --> 00:34:32,863 Purpose of trip? Diplomatic mission. 389 00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:35,616 Duration of stay? -Lunch. 390 00:34:35,783 --> 00:34:37,993 Any fruits or vegetables? 391 00:34:43,624 --> 00:34:47,628 Please meet your party outside the containment area. 392 00:34:50,172 --> 00:34:52,591 You wanna stay away from that guy. He's, uh.... 393 00:34:53,968 --> 00:34:55,344 He's grouchy. 394 00:34:55,511 --> 00:34:58,472 Three-hour delay in customs after a trip of 17 trillion miles... 395 00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:00,557 ...iIs gonna make anybody cranky. 396 00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:02,810 What branch of the government do we report to? 397 00:35:02,977 --> 00:35:05,688 -None. They ask too many questions. -Who pays for all this? 398 00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:08,148 We hold patents on a few gadgets we confiscated... 399 00:35:08,315 --> 00:35:12,403 ...from out-of-state visitors: Velcro, microwave ovens, liposuction. 400 00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:16,198 That's a fascinating little gadget. It's gonna replace CDs soon. 401 00:35:16,365 --> 00:35:18,701 I guess I'll have to buy The White Album again. Oh. 402 00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:20,953 That is a lot of fun. It's a universal translator. 403 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,289 We're not even supposed to have it. I'll tell you why. 404 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:25,749 Human thought is so primitive, it's looked upon... 405 00:35:25,916 --> 00:35:28,711 ...as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies. 406 00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:30,713 That kind of makes you proud, doesn't it? Huh? 407 00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:32,047 Hey, what's this thing? 408 00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:38,387 Okay, just be calm. Just be-- Relax. 409 00:35:38,554 --> 00:35:40,764 Okay-- Ooh, watch your head. 410 00:35:40,931 --> 00:35:43,309 Somebody get him some ice. Ooh. 411 00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:46,603 Look out. Move-- Just move when it's coming at you. 412 00:35:52,026 --> 00:35:55,904 Oh, damn. I will pay for that. 413 00:35:57,281 --> 00:35:58,365 Oh! 414 00:36:04,163 --> 00:36:05,372 Oh! 415 00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:11,086 This thing caused the 1977 New York blackout. 416 00:36:11,253 --> 00:36:15,424 Practical joke by the Great Attractor. He thought it was funny as hell. 417 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,804 Sorry, y'all. It was a accident. Sorry. 418 00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:23,515 Observation, the heart of our little endeavor. 419 00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:25,976 Meet the twins, Blblup and Bob. 420 00:36:26,143 --> 00:36:28,812 This map shows the location of every registered alien on Earth... 421 00:36:28,979 --> 00:36:31,690 ...at any given time, some of them under constant surveillance. 422 00:36:32,191 --> 00:36:34,109 Everyone on those screens is an alien. 423 00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:37,321 In public they're as normal as you are, but in private, well.... 424 00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:38,947 You'll get the idea. 425 00:36:40,157 --> 00:36:41,492 Oh, man. 426 00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:43,619 Doesn't make any sense, does it? 427 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:47,790 Well, no, it makes perfect sense. 428 00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:50,292 When I was in third grade, everybody told me I was crazy... 429 00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:53,462 ...but I knew our teacher had to be from, like, Venus or something like that. 430 00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:58,384 Mrs. Edelson. It was Jupiter, actually. Well, one of the moons. 431 00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:04,181 --revolve. Class, be quiet and pay attention. 432 00:37:04,348 --> 00:37:08,060 If I have to tell you one more time.... 433 00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:11,522 Edwards. Let's put it on. 434 00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:13,273 Put what on? 435 00:37:14,024 --> 00:37:16,360 The last suit you'll ever wear. 436 00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:31,542 You will dress only in attire specially sanctioned... 437 00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:33,752 ...by MiB Special Services. 438 00:37:34,253 --> 00:37:37,089 You'll conform to the identity we give you... 439 00:37:37,256 --> 00:37:40,092 ...eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. 440 00:37:40,717 --> 00:37:44,513 From now on, you'll have no identifying marks of any kind. 441 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,558 You will not stand out in any way. 442 00:37:47,724 --> 00:37:51,103 Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory... 443 00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:52,855 -...with anyone you encounter. -Ow! 444 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:56,483 You are a rumor, recognizable only as déja vu... 445 00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,694 ...and dismissed just as quickly. 446 00:37:58,861 --> 00:38:01,238 You don't exist. You were never even born. 447 00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:08,078 Anonymity is your name, silence, your native tongue. 448 00:38:08,996 --> 00:38:11,165 You are no longer part of the system. 449 00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:16,003 You are above the system, over it, beyond it. 450 00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:19,173 We're "them." We're "they." 451 00:38:19,339 --> 00:38:22,801 We are the Men in Black. 452 00:38:29,266 --> 00:38:32,561 You know what the difference is between you and me? 453 00:38:34,730 --> 00:38:37,107 I make this look good. 454 00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:41,111 We're gonna go for a little ride. 455 00:38:41,278 --> 00:38:45,073 I'll put you down here for just a minute. Then Daddy will be right back. 456 00:39:16,271 --> 00:39:19,399 Okay, now we're ready to go for a little ride. 457 00:39:19,566 --> 00:39:21,193 We're gonna meet one of Daddy's friends... 458 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,153 ...and you're gonna like him. 459 00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:28,575 Okay, let's see. 460 00:39:28,742 --> 00:39:32,287 Bee, we've got the deposed Sir Prefect of Singalee... 461 00:39:32,454 --> 00:39:35,374 ...touching down on the forest outside Portland tonight. 462 00:39:35,541 --> 00:39:38,293 -Humanoid? You wish. Bring a sponge. 463 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,047 Here. Red letter from last night. 464 00:39:42,214 --> 00:39:45,217 We had an unauthorized landing somewhere in upstate New York. 465 00:39:45,801 --> 00:39:47,511 Kay, keep your ears open on this one. 466 00:39:47,678 --> 00:39:51,098 We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger down here. 467 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:54,935 Well, well, well, we got a skimmer. 468 00:39:55,102 --> 00:39:58,021 -Landed alien out of zone. Who is it? -Redgick. 469 00:39:58,188 --> 00:40:01,316 He's not cleared to leave Manhattan, but he's way out of town now... 470 00:40:01,483 --> 00:40:03,569 ...stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike. 471 00:40:03,735 --> 00:40:05,571 Why don't you take junior here with you? 472 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:08,991 This is a good one for him to warm up on. 473 00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:10,951 Go get him, tiger. 474 00:40:16,498 --> 00:40:19,918 "We're not hosting an intergalactic kegger." 475 00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:24,923 Zed. He just.... 476 00:40:26,008 --> 00:40:28,260 Unlimited technology from the whole universe... 477 00:40:28,427 --> 00:40:32,347 ...and we cruise around in a Ford POS. 478 00:40:34,266 --> 00:40:35,976 Fasten your seat belt. 479 00:40:36,143 --> 00:40:38,270 Now, we got to work on your people skills. 480 00:40:38,437 --> 00:40:41,481 You'd get a much better reaction if you were a little more polite. 481 00:40:41,648 --> 00:40:42,983 Fasten your seat belt, please. 482 00:40:43,150 --> 00:40:46,194 Whoa, that was good. Did you hurt yourself? Oh! 483 00:40:48,447 --> 00:40:50,198 Oh, the red button there, kid. 484 00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:52,701 -Don't ever, ever touch the red button. -Oh! 485 00:41:02,336 --> 00:41:05,464 All right, bub, that'll be $72, then. 486 00:41:05,631 --> 00:41:09,217 Okay, sweetie, let me pay the impolite driver. 487 00:41:38,664 --> 00:41:42,918 Sorry I'm late. The cab drivers on this planet are terrible. 488 00:41:43,085 --> 00:41:45,504 Your Majesty, you are in grave danger. 489 00:41:45,671 --> 00:41:48,715 Yeah, and they overcharge you every time. 490 00:41:48,882 --> 00:41:52,928 Sir, a bug landed here. We must get you off the planet. 491 00:41:53,095 --> 00:41:55,347 A bug? He must know why I'm here. 492 00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:57,057 We think he does. 493 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,268 Is that what I think it is? 494 00:42:00,435 --> 00:42:02,771 No, just some diamonds for your children. 495 00:42:02,938 --> 00:42:04,606 Do we have time to eat? 496 00:42:05,357 --> 00:42:08,777 Sure. I ordered you some Pirogi. 497 00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:12,864 Six is up. 498 00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:13,907 Six is up. 499 00:42:14,783 --> 00:42:15,826 Where is Ivan? 500 00:42:15,992 --> 00:42:17,994 Gave him a break. 501 00:42:28,255 --> 00:42:31,299 To the continued reign of the Arquillian Empire. 502 00:42:31,466 --> 00:42:33,510 To the safety of the Galaxy. 503 00:42:40,809 --> 00:42:43,854 You can kill us both, but you will not find the Galaxy. 504 00:42:44,813 --> 00:42:47,566 You're right about one thing. 505 00:43:01,288 --> 00:43:03,457 You're not going anywhere, pal. 506 00:43:06,543 --> 00:43:08,086 What's going on? 507 00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:12,841 Hey, hey, hey, easy. 508 00:43:19,973 --> 00:43:21,141 I'd like to see your license and registration, please. 509 00:43:21,141 --> 00:43:22,184 I'd like to see your license and registration, please. 510 00:43:25,771 --> 00:43:29,483 Like to see your other license and registration, please. 511 00:43:35,781 --> 00:43:39,075 Your resident-alien card has you restricted to the island of Manhattan. 512 00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:42,245 -Where are you going, Redgie? -Well, it's my wife. She's.... 513 00:43:42,412 --> 00:43:44,164 Well, look. 514 00:43:46,416 --> 00:43:49,169 Oh. All right. Okay, no big deal. 515 00:43:49,336 --> 00:43:52,047 Okay, you come with me, Redge. 516 00:43:53,757 --> 00:43:56,927 -And you handle this. -What? Me? 517 00:43:57,469 --> 00:44:00,347 -It's easy. Just catch. -Are you sure he knows what he's doing? 518 00:44:00,514 --> 00:44:02,682 He does it all the time. Let the man work. 519 00:44:04,309 --> 00:44:05,352 Okay. Yeah. 520 00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:14,277 Ooh! Kay. Oh-- Damn, man. Kay? Something's peeking. 521 00:44:14,444 --> 00:44:16,363 Croagg the midwife is at 54th and Madison. 522 00:44:16,530 --> 00:44:18,615 You're headed out of town. What's going on? 523 00:44:18,782 --> 00:44:21,201 -Well, we're meeting someone. -Who you meeting? 524 00:44:21,368 --> 00:44:22,494 -Well, it's a ship. -A ship? 525 00:44:22,661 --> 00:44:24,412 I didn't see a departure clearance for today. 526 00:44:24,579 --> 00:44:25,622 -You didn't? -No. 527 00:44:25,789 --> 00:44:28,416 -Well, it's-- Well, it's an emergency. Kay! Kay! 528 00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:31,086 You're doing fine, ace. What kind of emergency? 529 00:44:31,253 --> 00:44:34,297 What's the rush to get off the planet all of a sudden? 530 00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:36,466 We just don't like the neighborhood anymore. 531 00:44:36,633 --> 00:44:39,594 -Some of the new arrivals. -What new arrivals? 532 00:44:39,761 --> 00:44:42,597 Does it have anything to do with the crasher from last night? 533 00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:43,974 Excuse me, miss. 534 00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:51,439 Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh.... 535 00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:56,444 Kay, look. Oh, man. 536 00:44:57,946 --> 00:45:00,615 Congratulations, Redge, it's a... 537 00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:01,992 ...squid. 538 00:45:02,158 --> 00:45:04,035 Kay, man. 539 00:45:05,787 --> 00:45:09,541 You know, it's actually kind of-- 540 00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:17,507 --cute. 541 00:45:24,973 --> 00:45:27,142 Anything about that seem unusual to you? 542 00:45:29,728 --> 00:45:31,354 What would scare Redgick so badly... 543 00:45:31,521 --> 00:45:34,357 ...that he'd risk a warp jump with a newborn? 544 00:45:34,524 --> 00:45:36,735 We'll check the hot sheets. 545 00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:43,283 These are the hot sheets? 546 00:45:43,450 --> 00:45:45,493 Best investigative reporting on the planet. 547 00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:47,329 Go ahead, read The New York Times. 548 00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:49,331 They get lucky sometimes. Thanks, Manny. 549 00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:53,460 Cannot believe you're looking for tips in the supermarket tabloids. 550 00:45:54,461 --> 00:45:56,379 Not "looking for." 551 00:45:57,631 --> 00:45:58,673 Found. 552 00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:14,648 -Wait a minute, slow down. -Why? 553 00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:18,276 Give her time to get the wrong impression. Makes things go a lot smoother. 554 00:46:19,277 --> 00:46:20,695 Can I help you gentlemen? 555 00:46:20,862 --> 00:46:22,614 Yes, ma'am, I'm Special Agent Manheim. 556 00:46:22,781 --> 00:46:26,201 This is Special Agent Black of the FBI. We'd like to talk to you about your visitor. 557 00:46:26,368 --> 00:46:27,869 Here to make fun of me too? 558 00:46:28,036 --> 00:46:30,830 No, ma'am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we're aware of. 559 00:46:30,997 --> 00:46:32,082 May we come in? 560 00:46:33,833 --> 00:46:35,752 -Sure. -Thank you. 561 00:46:35,919 --> 00:46:38,505 -Lemonade? -Oh, yes, please. 562 00:46:42,759 --> 00:46:45,178 The chief of police came up to the house... 563 00:46:45,345 --> 00:46:47,639 ...and did a full-out professional investigation. 564 00:46:47,806 --> 00:46:50,350 Took a police report and writ down everything I said... 565 00:46:50,517 --> 00:46:53,103 from Ato Z, not believing one thing I said. 566 00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:55,855 Sort of poking fun at me. And they asked me: 567 00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:59,943 "If he was murdered, how was he able to walk back in the house?" 568 00:47:00,110 --> 00:47:03,321 I gotta admit to you, that one got me sort of stumped. 569 00:47:03,488 --> 00:47:07,158 But I'll tell you something right now. I know Edgar, and that wasn't Edgar. 570 00:47:07,575 --> 00:47:12,372 It was like something was wearing Edgar like a.... 571 00:47:12,539 --> 00:47:14,290 Like a suit... 572 00:47:14,457 --> 00:47:17,210 ...an Edgar suit. 573 00:47:23,425 --> 00:47:26,720 Dude was that ugly before he was a alien. 574 00:47:29,639 --> 00:47:32,809 -I'm sorry. -Go on. 575 00:47:33,351 --> 00:47:37,313 Anyway, I come to and he's gone. 576 00:47:37,772 --> 00:47:42,360 -Did he say anything? -Yes. He asked me for some water. 577 00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:45,864 -Some, uh, sugar water. -Sugar water? 578 00:47:46,031 --> 00:47:49,117 Yeah, I remember that right, because I thought that that was odd... 579 00:47:49,284 --> 00:47:53,830 ...that he asked me for sugar water and not lemonade or ice water... 580 00:47:53,997 --> 00:47:57,042 ...or regular water or tap water. 581 00:47:57,876 --> 00:48:00,420 All right, Beatrice. There was no alien. 582 00:48:00,587 --> 00:48:02,964 The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. 583 00:48:03,131 --> 00:48:05,967 Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket... 584 00:48:06,134 --> 00:48:07,886 ...and refracted the light from Venus. 585 00:48:08,053 --> 00:48:09,262 Wait-- Wait a minute. 586 00:48:09,429 --> 00:48:11,639 You just flash that thing, it erases her memory... 587 00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:14,642 -...and you make up a new one? -A standard-issue neuralyzer. 588 00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:17,687 And that weak-ass story is the best you can come up with? 589 00:48:17,854 --> 00:48:18,897 All right. 590 00:48:19,064 --> 00:48:22,567 On a more personal note, Beatrice, Edgar ran off with an old girlfriend. 591 00:48:22,734 --> 00:48:25,445 You'll stay with your mom a couple of nights, you'll get over it. 592 00:48:25,612 --> 00:48:27,947 -Decide you're better off. -Well, yeah, you know... 593 00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:30,742 ...because he never appreciated you anyway. 594 00:48:30,909 --> 00:48:34,329 In fact, you know what? You kicked him out. 595 00:48:34,496 --> 00:48:37,707 Now that he's gone, you'll go into town, you go to Bloomingdale's... 596 00:48:37,874 --> 00:48:40,627 ...find yourself some nice dresses, get yourself some shoes. 597 00:48:40,794 --> 00:48:43,505 You know, find somewhere that maybe you could get a facial. 598 00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:48,343 And, uh, oh, hire a decorator to come in here quick because, damn. 599 00:48:55,016 --> 00:48:56,309 Kay, look, check it out. 600 00:48:56,476 --> 00:48:59,896 When do I get my own flashy little memory-messer-upper thingy? 601 00:49:00,063 --> 00:49:03,358 -When you grow up. -Mm. Okay. 602 00:49:05,193 --> 00:49:06,194 Please, not green. 603 00:49:07,695 --> 00:49:08,696 Oh, damn. 604 00:49:10,198 --> 00:49:12,408 I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life form... 605 00:49:12,575 --> 00:49:15,662 ...leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water, do you? 606 00:49:15,829 --> 00:49:18,456 Oh, wait, that was on Final Jeopardy! last night. 607 00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:22,043 -Damn, Alex said it was.... -Zed, we have a bug. 608 00:49:22,544 --> 00:49:25,380 So, what? We don't like bugs? 609 00:49:25,547 --> 00:49:28,007 Bugs thrive on carnage, tiger. 610 00:49:28,174 --> 00:49:29,717 They consume, infest, destroy... 611 00:49:29,884 --> 00:49:32,470 ...live off the death and destruction of other species. 612 00:49:32,637 --> 00:49:34,722 -You were stung as a child, weren't you? -No. 613 00:49:34,889 --> 00:49:39,060 Listen, kid, imagine a giant cockroach with unlimited strength... 614 00:49:39,227 --> 00:49:42,814 ...a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper... 615 00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:46,401 ...Is tear-assing around Manhattan Island in a brand-new Edgar suit. 616 00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:48,653 Does that sound like fun? 617 00:49:51,072 --> 00:49:52,157 What's the move? 618 00:49:53,283 --> 00:49:55,660 With the bug in town, we'll watch the morgues. 619 00:50:08,089 --> 00:50:10,008 Where do you want Contestant Number 3? 620 00:50:10,175 --> 00:50:11,759 Just leave it there. 621 00:50:11,926 --> 00:50:13,761 -What's with the cat? -Oh, the cat. 622 00:50:13,928 --> 00:50:16,222 Yeah, well, there's a problem with the cat. Sign here. 623 00:50:16,389 --> 00:50:20,393 -What's the problem with the cat? -It's your problem. Heh-heh-heh. 624 00:50:22,604 --> 00:50:24,606 I hate the living. 625 00:50:26,232 --> 00:50:27,901 Shall we? 626 00:50:57,305 --> 00:50:59,682 Oh, my God. 627 00:51:03,144 --> 00:51:05,480 Whoa, buddy, what are you? 628 00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:16,658 Subject was approximately 112 degrees at time of autopsy... 629 00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:19,035 ...indicating an increase in body temperature. 630 00:51:19,202 --> 00:51:21,120 Examiner tried to verify this rectally... 631 00:51:21,287 --> 00:51:23,623 ...only to find the subject was without a rectum... 632 00:51:23,790 --> 00:51:25,583 ...which is, needless to say, really-- 633 00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,126 Weird. 634 00:51:27,293 --> 00:51:29,587 I'm Dr. Leo Manville, Department of Public Health. 635 00:51:29,754 --> 00:51:31,547 This is Dr. White. 636 00:51:32,340 --> 00:51:34,592 You boys must not have much of a home life. 637 00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:38,304 We watch the morgues very carefully. Do you have something unusual here? 638 00:51:38,471 --> 00:51:40,682 -I'd say so. Triple homicide. Mm-hm. 639 00:51:40,848 --> 00:51:42,684 The first body I opened up was pretty normal... 640 00:51:42,850 --> 00:51:44,102 ...except he was broken in half. 641 00:51:44,269 --> 00:51:46,813 But when I opened up the other two, well.... 642 00:51:46,980 --> 00:51:48,022 Let me show you. 643 00:51:54,988 --> 00:51:58,241 There's a skeletal structure at work here unlike anything I've ever seen before. 644 00:51:58,408 --> 00:51:59,742 I'll have a look at this one. 645 00:51:59,909 --> 00:52:02,370 Dr. White, you and Dr. Weaver check out the other body, please. 646 00:52:02,537 --> 00:52:06,582 This way, doctor. This one's even stranger. 647 00:52:07,166 --> 00:52:08,293 I did a full laparotomy. 648 00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:10,712 I started with the lesser curvature of the stomach, but we could start... 649 00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:14,007 ...with the gastroesophageal junction, whichever you prefer. 650 00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:18,011 Let's start wherever you started at. 651 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:19,887 Okey-dokey. 652 00:52:21,347 --> 00:52:22,765 Oh. 653 00:52:28,146 --> 00:52:29,772 Is that your cat? Guess it is now. 654 00:52:29,939 --> 00:52:32,400 It came in with the body. Okay, dive right in. 655 00:52:32,567 --> 00:52:33,735 I'm sure he won't mind. 656 00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:38,197 Hm. You have really pretty eyes. 657 00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:40,116 Hm. You have really pretty eyes. 658 00:52:40,742 --> 00:52:41,784 Thank you. 659 00:52:45,580 --> 00:52:48,249 Okay, you feel that? Where the pyloric junction would be? 660 00:52:48,416 --> 00:52:50,084 Push it aside. 661 00:52:50,251 --> 00:52:53,463 Notice anything strange? Stomach, liver, lungs.... 662 00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:57,258 -Nope, all fine. -Doctor, they're all missing. 663 00:52:58,092 --> 00:52:59,260 Of course. 664 00:52:59,427 --> 00:53:02,180 Oh, you know, that's obviously the first thing I noticed. 665 00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:04,140 What I was pointing out... 666 00:53:04,307 --> 00:53:10,104 ...is the fact that there are no pieces of them left. 667 00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:13,733 Yeah, you know, so they're intact... 668 00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:15,777 ...wherever they are, whole somewhere. 669 00:53:15,943 --> 00:53:18,446 -That we can be sure of. -Have we met before? 670 00:53:19,364 --> 00:53:21,449 I'm having the strangest feeling of déja vu. 671 00:53:22,950 --> 00:53:25,328 -Yeah, me too. -Really? 672 00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:28,456 Okay, do you wanna know what I think? But don't tell that guy. 673 00:53:28,623 --> 00:53:32,293 He looks like he's under enough stress. I don't think this body's really a body. 674 00:53:32,460 --> 00:53:35,755 I think it's some kind of transport unit for something else altogether. 675 00:53:35,922 --> 00:53:38,466 -The question is, what? -Mm-hm. 676 00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:40,551 Is this freaking you out? 677 00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:44,389 No. Pssh! No, girl. 678 00:53:45,973 --> 00:53:49,143 You know what I like to do sometimes when it's really late? 679 00:53:51,354 --> 00:53:52,397 No. 680 00:53:53,272 --> 00:53:54,982 Dr. White. 681 00:53:55,525 --> 00:53:57,819 Um, excuse me. 682 00:54:02,323 --> 00:54:04,784 -What do you think? -Very interesting. 683 00:54:04,951 --> 00:54:07,412 She got a real queen-of-the-undead thing going on-- 684 00:54:07,578 --> 00:54:09,831 -Of the body. -Great body. 685 00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:12,375 -The dead body. -Oh. 686 00:54:12,542 --> 00:54:14,001 You have to look at that thing. 687 00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:16,337 Dr. White? -You recognize him? 688 00:54:16,754 --> 00:54:19,132 Yeah, he looks like the big guy I saw down at headquarters... 689 00:54:19,298 --> 00:54:20,508 -...only a little deader. Dr. White. 690 00:54:20,675 --> 00:54:22,468 What do you think killed him? 691 00:54:23,386 --> 00:54:25,096 -A bug? -Dr. White. 692 00:54:25,263 --> 00:54:27,515 -You're up, slugger. -Oh. 693 00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:32,019 Look at this. 694 00:54:33,521 --> 00:54:35,022 What the hell is that? 695 00:54:53,624 --> 00:54:55,710 Must.... 696 00:54:56,461 --> 00:54:58,796 To prevent... 697 00:55:01,090 --> 00:55:03,885 ...contest. 698 00:55:04,051 --> 00:55:05,595 What are you trying to say? 699 00:55:05,761 --> 00:55:07,096 To prevent.... 700 00:55:07,263 --> 00:55:10,224 To prevent struggle? 701 00:55:11,100 --> 00:55:13,728 No. To prevent-- 702 00:55:14,103 --> 00:55:15,146 War? 703 00:55:15,313 --> 00:55:16,731 --war... 704 00:55:19,275 --> 00:55:21,944 ...the Galaxy... 705 00:55:22,111 --> 00:55:26,908 ...is on Orion's... 706 00:55:28,743 --> 00:55:31,913 ...be-- Be-- 707 00:55:32,622 --> 00:55:36,167 -What is word? Bed? 708 00:55:36,334 --> 00:55:40,171 Belt? Orion's belt? 709 00:55:58,773 --> 00:56:02,235 "To prevent war, the Galaxy is on Orion's belt." 710 00:56:02,401 --> 00:56:04,570 What the hell does that mean? 711 00:56:07,823 --> 00:56:10,826 Doctor, uh, whatever, come here. 712 00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:12,036 Dr. Whatever? 713 00:56:12,203 --> 00:56:15,289 Hey, you guys aren't really from the Department of Health, are you? 714 00:56:15,456 --> 00:56:17,291 Rosenberg. Aw, damn. 715 00:56:17,458 --> 00:56:19,293 The Arquillians are not gonna like this. 716 00:56:19,460 --> 00:56:21,837 This guy was one of the royal family. 717 00:56:22,004 --> 00:56:23,297 I knew it. This is an alien. 718 00:56:23,464 --> 00:56:25,174 You guys are from some government agency... 719 00:56:25,341 --> 00:56:26,842 ...trying to keep it under wraps. 720 00:56:27,009 --> 00:56:30,304 Look, he said, "To prevent war, the Galaxy is on Orion's belt." 721 00:56:30,471 --> 00:56:32,807 This makes total sense. How else do you explain New York? 722 00:56:32,974 --> 00:56:36,143 The other day, I was in this cab, and this guy was-- 723 00:56:37,186 --> 00:56:39,397 "Galaxy on Orion's belt" doesn't make any sense. 724 00:56:39,564 --> 00:56:42,650 That's what the little dude inside the big dude's head said, right? 725 00:56:42,817 --> 00:56:46,779 Right after-- Damn, man. You did the flashy thing already. 726 00:56:46,946 --> 00:56:49,991 Whoever you guys are, you have to show me ID if you're gonna be in the morgue. 727 00:56:50,157 --> 00:56:53,160 Oh, yes, of course, young lady. Have a look at this for me, please. 728 00:56:53,327 --> 00:56:54,996 -Would you stop that? -What? 729 00:56:55,162 --> 00:56:57,331 That thing is gonna give her brain cancer or something. 730 00:56:57,498 --> 00:57:00,334 Never hurt her before. We gotta get all the doors closed off. 731 00:57:00,501 --> 00:57:03,170 -Special Services will be here any minute. -"Never hurt her before"? 732 00:57:03,337 --> 00:57:05,006 How many times have you flashy-thinged that woman? 733 00:57:05,172 --> 00:57:06,173 A couple. 734 00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:08,342 You not worried about long-term damage? 735 00:57:08,509 --> 00:57:09,677 A little. 736 00:57:09,844 --> 00:57:11,679 -Kay, have you flashy-thinged me? -No. 737 00:57:11,846 --> 00:57:13,806 I ain't playing. Have you ever flashy-thinged me? 738 00:57:13,973 --> 00:57:15,141 No. 739 00:57:24,066 --> 00:57:27,194 I think I should be in charge of the flashy-memory-thing department. 740 00:57:27,361 --> 00:57:28,654 Not while I'm around, ace. 741 00:57:28,821 --> 00:57:31,365 You ain't gonna be happy till you fricassee somebody's brain out. 742 00:57:31,532 --> 00:57:32,867 We got two dead aliens. 743 00:57:33,034 --> 00:57:35,077 And a deputy medical examiner needs a new memory. 744 00:57:35,244 --> 00:57:36,704 Yes, sir. 745 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:41,208 Make it a happy memory. 746 00:58:01,729 --> 00:58:04,940 Oh.... Oh.... 747 00:58:13,491 --> 00:58:15,951 Where is it? 748 00:58:30,424 --> 00:58:33,552 Will the owner of a blue warp-speed cruiser... 749 00:58:33,719 --> 00:58:36,806 ...please report to the front desk? 750 00:58:49,902 --> 00:58:54,865 Q, you have a phone call on Line 3. Please pick up. 751 00:58:59,495 --> 00:59:01,372 Hey, Zed. 752 00:59:01,539 --> 00:59:04,375 Doesn't anybody ever get any sleep around here? 753 00:59:04,542 --> 00:59:08,337 The twins keep us on Centaurian time. It's a 37-hour day. 754 00:59:08,504 --> 00:59:10,506 Give it a few months. You'll get used to it. 755 00:59:10,673 --> 00:59:14,468 Or you'll have a psychotic episode. Here's Orion. 756 00:59:14,635 --> 00:59:17,638 It's a grouping of the brightest stars in the northern sky. 757 00:59:17,805 --> 00:59:20,474 -Here's Orion's belt. -That's what the little guy said: 758 00:59:20,641 --> 00:59:24,145 "To prevent war, the Galaxy is on Orion's belt." 759 00:59:24,311 --> 00:59:26,689 Junior, there are no galaxies on Orion's belt. 760 00:59:26,856 --> 00:59:30,568 The belt is just these three stars. Galaxies are huge. 761 00:59:30,985 --> 00:59:35,322 They're made up of billions of stars. You heard wrong. 762 00:59:35,865 --> 00:59:38,576 Look, whatever, man. I know what I heard. 763 01:00:15,362 --> 01:00:16,697 Pretty lady. 764 01:00:20,701 --> 01:00:23,037 Uh-huh. Okay. 765 01:00:23,204 --> 01:00:28,209 The grumpy guy's story is starting to come into focus a little bit here. 766 01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:31,003 So you were the guy in that picture you showed me with the flowers. 767 01:00:31,170 --> 01:00:32,379 Yeah. 768 01:00:32,546 --> 01:00:36,509 And I take it she never got those flowers. 769 01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:38,677 So, what, she ever get married or anything? 770 01:00:38,844 --> 01:00:40,262 No. 771 01:00:40,721 --> 01:00:42,014 Ah, you know what they say: 772 01:00:42,181 --> 01:00:46,060 It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 773 01:00:46,227 --> 01:00:48,020 Try it. 774 01:00:48,187 --> 01:00:49,688 Kay. 775 01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:55,820 -Take a look at this. -My God, they're all leaving. 776 01:00:55,986 --> 01:00:57,988 We've had 12 jump in the last hour. 777 01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:00,115 Redgick was just the first. 778 01:01:00,866 --> 01:01:02,743 What the hell do they know that we don't? 779 01:01:02,910 --> 01:01:04,495 Why does a rat desert a ship? 780 01:01:04,662 --> 01:01:08,749 Give me Lem Sat 4, please, with a proton induction thermoscan. 781 01:01:10,376 --> 01:01:13,170 Thank you. Okay, Lem Sat 18. 782 01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:15,965 All right, 4000. 783 01:01:20,344 --> 01:01:22,054 That's an Arquillian battle cruiser. 784 01:01:22,221 --> 01:01:24,139 And we've got a dead Arquillian prince. 785 01:01:26,725 --> 01:01:28,811 And speak of the devil. 786 01:01:28,978 --> 01:01:31,647 -They sound pissed. -Boys, translate that. Step on it. 787 01:01:31,856 --> 01:01:33,983 Why don't you get down to Rosenberg's jewelry store... 788 01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:36,277 ...and see what you can turn up? 789 01:01:38,445 --> 01:01:39,989 Kay. 790 01:01:41,699 --> 01:01:43,784 Give the kid a weapon. 791 01:01:52,626 --> 01:01:52,918 -Series 4 De-atomizer. -Now, that's what I'm talking about. 792 01:01:52,918 --> 01:01:55,921 -Series 4 De-atomizer. -Now, that's what I'm talking about. 793 01:01:56,088 --> 01:01:58,007 Noisy Cricket. 794 01:01:59,842 --> 01:02:01,969 Hey, Kay, no, no. Come on, man. 795 01:02:02,136 --> 01:02:05,639 You get a Series 4 De-atomizer, I get a little midget Cricket? 796 01:02:05,806 --> 01:02:07,474 Whoa, kid! 797 01:02:10,686 --> 01:02:12,646 Feel like I'm gonna break this damn thing. 798 01:02:57,107 --> 01:02:59,443 Hey, this is my truck. 799 01:02:59,610 --> 01:03:03,906 Yeah, and make sure you tell them that down at the impound. 800 01:03:11,038 --> 01:03:13,415 Please. 801 01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:24,969 Who breaks into a jewelry store and leaves all the jewels? 802 01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:27,471 Somebody not looking for jewelry. 803 01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:31,892 This guy had a serious crush on his cat. 804 01:03:33,727 --> 01:03:36,605 Kay, get down. 805 01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:41,777 Man. 806 01:03:43,612 --> 01:03:47,157 That's him. That's the bug in the Edgar suit. 807 01:04:08,929 --> 01:04:11,598 We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public. 808 01:04:11,765 --> 01:04:13,809 We ain't got time for this cover-up bullshit. 809 01:04:13,976 --> 01:04:16,562 Don't know if you've forgotten, but there's a alien battle cruiser about to-- 810 01:04:16,729 --> 01:04:19,606 There's always an alien battle cruiser or a death ray... 811 01:04:19,773 --> 01:04:22,901 ...or an intergalactic plague about to wipe out life on this miserable planet. 812 01:04:23,068 --> 01:04:25,821 The only way these people get on with their happy lives... 813 01:04:25,988 --> 01:04:29,324 ...iIs they do not know about it. 814 01:04:33,495 --> 01:04:35,581 And don't worry about the bug. 815 01:04:35,748 --> 01:04:38,667 He's not leaving town. We got his ship. 816 01:04:43,422 --> 01:04:45,674 Excuse me. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. 817 01:04:45,841 --> 01:04:47,968 Zed, we need a containment crew on Macdougal Street... 818 01:04:48,135 --> 01:04:50,471 ...South of Houston. 819 01:04:50,637 --> 01:04:52,723 Containment may be a moot point, old friend. 820 01:04:52,890 --> 01:04:54,183 The exodus continues. 821 01:04:54,349 --> 01:04:58,479 It's like the party's over and the last one to leave gets stuck with the check. 822 01:04:58,645 --> 01:05:01,774 You sorry little ingrates! 823 01:05:08,989 --> 01:05:10,991 What about the Arquillians? 824 01:05:11,158 --> 01:05:13,452 We've only translated part of the message so far: 825 01:05:13,619 --> 01:05:14,661 "Deliver the Galaxy." 826 01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:18,040 -They don't want much, do they? -Oh, it gets better. 827 01:05:18,207 --> 01:05:19,666 They're holding us responsible. 828 01:05:28,675 --> 01:05:33,055 -Where do you keep your dead? -I don't have any dead. 829 01:05:33,222 --> 01:05:36,350 -Where? -I don't know. 830 01:05:36,517 --> 01:05:38,894 The city morgue? 831 01:05:48,403 --> 01:05:51,198 That's three for a dollar! Sir! 832 01:05:51,365 --> 01:05:54,284 It was some light, some light that refracted off of Venus... 833 01:05:54,451 --> 01:05:57,913 ...into some swamp gas, and that's what made the, um.... 834 01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:01,583 All right, kid. -Excuse me. What's up? 835 01:06:01,750 --> 01:06:04,628 The Arquillians want the Galaxy, whatever the hell that means. 836 01:06:04,795 --> 01:06:06,296 We need help, a professional... 837 01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:10,008 ...somebody with years of experience in intergalactic politics. 838 01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:12,136 I just hope the little prick hasn't skipped town. 839 01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:15,222 Can I have your attention, please? Thank you. 840 01:06:15,389 --> 01:06:17,224 If you will gather over here.... 841 01:06:17,391 --> 01:06:20,894 That's right, move in closer. That's good. Thanks. 842 01:06:21,061 --> 01:06:23,397 If you'll look right here, I'd appreciate it. 843 01:06:23,564 --> 01:06:24,565 Thank you. 844 01:06:37,578 --> 01:06:40,706 Now, that's the worst disguise ever. That guy's definitely an alien. 845 01:06:40,873 --> 01:06:43,417 You don't like it, you can kiss my furry little butt. 846 01:06:44,459 --> 01:06:46,461 -You busy, Frank? -Sorry, Kay, can't talk right now. 847 01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:48,672 -My flight's leaving-- -Whoa! Get your paws off me. 848 01:06:48,839 --> 01:06:50,757 Call the pound. We got a stray. 849 01:06:50,924 --> 01:06:52,342 The dog owes my friend money. 850 01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:54,261 Arquillians and bugs, what do you know? 851 01:06:54,428 --> 01:06:57,097 -I know nothing. -Not a thing, huh? Okay. 852 01:06:58,932 --> 01:07:01,393 Stop, stop, stop it. Okay, okay. 853 01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:03,770 Rosenberg wasn't some two-bit Arquillian. 854 01:07:03,937 --> 01:07:05,731 He was the guardian of a whole Galaxy. 855 01:07:05,898 --> 01:07:08,692 -They thought he'd be safe here on Earth. -And the bug had other plans. 856 01:07:08,859 --> 01:07:11,945 The Galaxy is the best source for subatomic energy in the universe. 857 01:07:12,112 --> 01:07:15,616 If the bugs get their slimy claws on it, kiss the Arquillians goodbye. 858 01:07:15,782 --> 01:07:16,825 Ask him about the belt. 859 01:07:16,992 --> 01:07:18,827 Rosenberg said something about a galaxy on Orion's belt. 860 01:07:18,994 --> 01:07:20,037 What's he talking about? 861 01:07:20,204 --> 01:07:21,622 -Beats me. -Beats you. 862 01:07:21,788 --> 01:07:23,790 No, no, no, not around. 863 01:07:26,919 --> 01:07:28,754 They're rehearsing a ventriloquist act. 864 01:07:28,921 --> 01:07:31,298 The Galaxy is here. 865 01:07:31,465 --> 01:07:32,507 What do you mean, here? 866 01:07:32,674 --> 01:07:34,676 Galaxy's hundreds of millions of stars and planets. 867 01:07:34,843 --> 01:07:36,053 -How's it here? -You humans. 868 01:07:36,220 --> 01:07:38,472 When are you gonna learn that size doesn't matter? 869 01:07:38,639 --> 01:07:41,975 Just because something's important, doesn't mean it's not very, very small. 870 01:07:42,142 --> 01:07:45,187 -How small? -Tiny. The size of a marble or a jewel. 871 01:07:45,729 --> 01:07:48,815 Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta be walked before my flight. 872 01:07:48,982 --> 01:07:50,901 All right, get out of here. 873 01:07:52,069 --> 01:07:55,822 If the Galaxy's here, it's not on Orion's belt. 874 01:08:07,876 --> 01:08:09,419 Kay. 875 01:08:15,759 --> 01:08:18,178 Boy, when you want attention.... 876 01:08:19,388 --> 01:08:22,474 Orion. That's a pretty name. 877 01:08:22,641 --> 01:08:24,518 What's this? 878 01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:36,613 Wow. 879 01:09:16,778 --> 01:09:20,741 Okay. Yes, good, thank you. 880 01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:24,578 Thank you for making sure the bell works. 881 01:09:26,747 --> 01:09:28,373 What's up, Farmer John? 882 01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:34,004 A man came in here earlier. A dead man. 883 01:09:34,171 --> 01:09:36,173 And that means what to me? 884 01:09:38,300 --> 01:09:41,678 It was a very dear friend of mine. 885 01:09:41,845 --> 01:09:44,056 I believe he had an animal with him. 886 01:09:44,222 --> 01:09:46,600 It was a gift I gave him, a pet cat. 887 01:09:46,767 --> 01:09:50,687 It means worlds to me. I'd like to have it back. 888 01:09:50,854 --> 01:09:54,358 Okay, I'm gonna need a picture ID, written proof of ownership of the cat... 889 01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:58,945 ...notarized proof of kinship with the deceased. 890 01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:00,447 Don't do that. 891 01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:03,283 Do what? 892 01:10:04,451 --> 01:10:05,952 Don't do it. 893 01:10:08,580 --> 01:10:10,207 Oh, man. 894 01:10:25,472 --> 01:10:27,307 Look, Kay, why don't you let me handle this one? 895 01:10:27,474 --> 01:10:29,684 -What? -All we gotta do is go in and get a cat. 896 01:10:29,851 --> 01:10:31,978 It's not really that hard, but if you go in there... 897 01:10:32,145 --> 01:10:35,273 ...you'll lay your Jack Webb on her, start flashing your brain ray in her face. 898 01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:38,068 She gonna wind up with leukemia or some shit. The woman's a doctor. 899 01:10:38,235 --> 01:10:40,821 She don't need you flashing away half her med-school classes. 900 01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:42,572 -Five minutes. -Two minutes. 901 01:10:45,367 --> 01:10:48,203 Where's the animal? -I told you, I don't know. 902 01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:50,664 Well, let's see if we can find it. 903 01:10:56,044 --> 01:10:57,170 Hello? 904 01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:00,590 Hello? 905 01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:08,348 Hello? 906 01:11:12,060 --> 01:11:13,687 -How you doing? -Hello. 907 01:11:13,854 --> 01:11:16,648 I'm Sergeant Friday from the 26th Precinct. 908 01:11:16,815 --> 01:11:19,568 A cat came in with a corpse the other day. 909 01:11:19,734 --> 01:11:21,528 -"Orion" on the nametag? -Yes, that's right. 910 01:11:21,695 --> 01:11:26,283 Right. Uh, well, this cat is a, uh.... A witness in a murder case. 911 01:11:26,450 --> 01:11:28,452 I need to take him with me, ask him a few questions. 912 01:11:28,618 --> 01:11:31,746 -I don't know where the cat is right now. -Oh, you don't? 913 01:11:32,372 --> 01:11:35,041 No, but maybe you could take me with you instead. 914 01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:39,337 Damn, you do start fast, don't you? 915 01:11:39,504 --> 01:11:43,091 I'd really like to go with you. Now. 916 01:11:43,258 --> 01:11:46,720 Uh-huh. And exactly why is that? 917 01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:56,646 There's something I need to show you. 918 01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:59,900 Mm. Slow down, girl, you ain't gotta hit the gas like that. 919 01:12:00,066 --> 01:12:03,570 No, you don't understand. You really need to see this. 920 01:12:03,737 --> 01:12:05,447 Oh, I will, I will. Oh. 921 01:12:05,614 --> 01:12:08,992 One thing: I gotta drive. You know, it's not some macho trip. 922 01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:11,661 I'm saying, that's just the way I get down. 923 01:12:22,130 --> 01:12:24,090 Look, stud, you're really not getting this. 924 01:12:24,257 --> 01:12:28,386 There's something I need you to help me with. 925 01:12:39,105 --> 01:12:41,441 -Freeze it, bug. -Christ, you are thick. 926 01:12:41,608 --> 01:12:43,777 -How was I supposed to know? -I have to sing it for you? 927 01:12:43,944 --> 01:12:46,071 If you weren't coming on like some drunken prom date-- 928 01:12:46,238 --> 01:12:47,489 Oh, God. That is so typical. 929 01:12:47,656 --> 01:12:50,283 Any time a woman shows the slightest hint of sexual independence-- 930 01:12:50,450 --> 01:12:52,285 -Everybody shut up. -Let her go, shit-eater. 931 01:12:52,452 --> 01:12:54,996 Listen, monkey boy, compared to you humans... 932 01:12:55,163 --> 01:12:57,707 ...I'm on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder. 933 01:12:57,874 --> 01:12:59,042 So can it, all right? 934 01:12:59,209 --> 01:13:01,962 You're breaking my heart. Show me your face, I'll cure all your ills. 935 01:13:02,128 --> 01:13:05,507 You ever pull wings off a fly? You care to see the fly get even? 936 01:13:05,674 --> 01:13:07,300 How far will you get without your ship... 937 01:13:07,467 --> 01:13:10,303 ...if that's what you call that piece of space trash in the office? 938 01:13:10,470 --> 01:13:13,181 Put your weapons down. Never gonna happen, insect. 939 01:13:13,348 --> 01:13:15,850 It's okay, Laurel. -How is it okay? 940 01:13:16,017 --> 01:13:20,355 -I'm saying it's gonna be okay. -Don't bet on it, meat sack. 941 01:13:30,156 --> 01:13:31,783 Let me go. 942 01:13:39,666 --> 01:13:41,585 God, what the--? 943 01:13:42,544 --> 01:13:43,837 Come on. 944 01:13:48,258 --> 01:13:50,176 -Take me here. -No way. 945 01:13:52,053 --> 01:13:53,096 Take me. 946 01:13:56,683 --> 01:13:58,351 Hey. Come back! 947 01:14:10,572 --> 01:14:12,115 He's in a cab. 948 01:14:33,887 --> 01:14:36,640 Don't move! Don't move! Don't move! 949 01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:39,893 Hey, man, what? Whoa, whoa. 950 01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:52,947 He's not leaving the planet in a cab. Let's go. 951 01:14:57,202 --> 01:14:59,704 Come with me. Put up a bio-net all the way around Manhattan. 952 01:14:59,871 --> 01:15:01,748 If it's not human, I don't want it to leave this island. 953 01:15:01,915 --> 01:15:03,458 Yes, sir. 954 01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,543 What do we hear from our friends upstairs? 955 01:15:05,710 --> 01:15:07,921 Same thing: "Deliver the Galaxy." The bug's got the Galaxy. 956 01:15:08,088 --> 01:15:10,173 But we got his ship. He's looking for a way out. 957 01:15:13,343 --> 01:15:16,638 Warning: Plutonic fusion detection. 958 01:15:16,805 --> 01:15:19,766 Warning: Plutonic fusion detection. 959 01:15:23,812 --> 01:15:25,480 What the hell are they shooting at us for? 960 01:15:25,647 --> 01:15:26,981 Arquillian battle rules, kid. 961 01:15:27,148 --> 01:15:29,067 First we get an ultimatum, then a warning shot... 962 01:15:29,234 --> 01:15:31,403 ...and then we have a galactic standard week to respond. 963 01:15:31,569 --> 01:15:34,114 A galactic standard week? How the hell long is that? 964 01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:35,740 One hour. 965 01:15:35,907 --> 01:15:39,160 One hour? Then what? 966 01:15:43,915 --> 01:15:44,999 Aw, that's bullshit. 967 01:15:45,166 --> 01:15:47,293 Look, kid, to keep the bugs from getting it... 968 01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:49,462 ...the Arquillians will destroy that Galaxy. 969 01:15:49,629 --> 01:15:52,382 And whatever planet it's on. 970 01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:56,886 -You're talking about us. -Heh, heh. Sucks, huh? 971 01:15:58,930 --> 01:16:01,641 I'm pulling up the location of every interstellar vehicle within 100 miles. 972 01:16:01,808 --> 01:16:03,935 Already did it. Frank the Pug took the last ship. 973 01:16:04,102 --> 01:16:06,146 We got Sneden's Landing and Throg's Neck. 974 01:16:06,312 --> 01:16:07,522 They're gone. We have Atlantic City. 975 01:16:07,689 --> 01:16:09,190 Gone. All right, Bayonne? 976 01:16:09,357 --> 01:16:10,442 Gone. 977 01:16:10,608 --> 01:16:12,527 All right, there's Three Mile Island. Gone. 978 01:16:12,694 --> 01:16:13,903 -Yo. Staten Island. 979 01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:15,155 Gone, thank God. 980 01:16:15,321 --> 01:16:16,656 -Fellas. We're running out of time. 981 01:16:16,823 --> 01:16:19,325 If that bug gets off the planet with that Galaxy, we're all bug food. 982 01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:20,910 Hey, old guys. 983 01:16:25,999 --> 01:16:28,168 Do those still work? 984 01:16:43,141 --> 01:16:45,185 You're coming with me. What? 985 01:16:45,769 --> 01:16:48,688 It's a long trip. I'll need a snack. 986 01:16:48,855 --> 01:16:50,023 Whoa! 987 01:16:54,319 --> 01:16:55,528 Wait, you're taking the tunnel? 988 01:16:55,695 --> 01:16:58,698 -You know a better way to Queens? -Man, that thing's gonna be packed. 989 01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:14,088 -You remember the little red button? -Yeah. 990 01:17:14,255 --> 01:17:15,715 Push the little red button. 991 01:17:16,966 --> 01:17:18,384 You might wanna put on a seat belt. 992 01:17:18,551 --> 01:17:21,638 Kay. Kay! 993 01:17:30,230 --> 01:17:32,357 You know, you're much too tense. You're a young man. 994 01:17:32,524 --> 01:17:35,068 You need to relax. Learn to take some joy in your work. 995 01:17:35,235 --> 01:17:36,486 Do you like music? 996 01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:42,617 That better? 997 01:18:00,134 --> 01:18:01,177 All right, now. 998 01:18:01,344 --> 01:18:02,554 Ah, shit. Ah, man. 999 01:18:06,599 --> 01:18:08,142 Kay. Kay! 1000 01:18:13,314 --> 01:18:14,983 You do know Elvis is dead, right? 1001 01:18:15,149 --> 01:18:17,944 No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home. 1002 01:18:33,126 --> 01:18:36,170 You don't wanna eat me. I'm a very important person on my planet. 1003 01:18:36,337 --> 01:18:37,630 Like a queen. 1004 01:18:37,797 --> 01:18:40,758 A goddess, even. There are those who worship me. 1005 01:18:40,925 --> 01:18:42,802 I'm not telling you to try to impress you. 1006 01:18:42,969 --> 01:18:45,138 I'm just letting you know it could start a war. 1007 01:18:45,305 --> 01:18:47,849 Good, war. That means more food for my family. 1008 01:18:48,016 --> 01:18:51,311 All 78 million of them. That's a lot of mouths to feed, Your Highness. 1009 01:18:51,477 --> 01:18:54,147 You're a wonderful dad, but I'm staying here. 1010 01:19:15,877 --> 01:19:18,463 Now, that's what I'm talking about. 1011 01:19:19,297 --> 01:19:21,716 Roaches check in. 1012 01:19:23,176 --> 01:19:24,344 They don't check out. 1013 01:19:29,223 --> 01:19:33,227 Warning: Eight minutes to the destruction of Earth. 1014 01:19:34,896 --> 01:19:38,358 Eight minutes to destruction. 1015 01:20:22,986 --> 01:20:25,905 All right, we'll use pulsar level five with a subsonic implosion factor. 1016 01:20:26,072 --> 01:20:27,448 What? 1017 01:20:27,615 --> 01:20:27,740 Just shoot the damn thing on the count of three. One, two, three. 1018 01:20:27,740 --> 01:20:32,286 Just shoot the damn thing on the count of three. One, two, three. 1019 01:21:31,721 --> 01:21:35,183 Oh, you idiots! 1020 01:21:35,349 --> 01:21:38,311 You don't get it. I've won. 1021 01:21:39,145 --> 01:21:41,189 It's over. 1022 01:21:41,355 --> 01:21:45,735 You're milk-suckers. You don't matter. 1023 01:21:45,902 --> 01:21:48,404 In fact, in a few seconds, you won't even be matter. 1024 01:21:48,571 --> 01:21:51,449 You're under arrest for violating Section 4153 of the Tycho Treaty. 1025 01:21:51,616 --> 01:21:53,951 So hand over whatever galaxy you might be carrying... 1026 01:21:54,118 --> 01:21:57,330 ...step away from your busted-ass vehicle, and put your hands on your head. 1027 01:21:57,622 --> 01:22:01,000 Okay. Oh, I-- I see. 1028 01:22:02,210 --> 01:22:06,172 I'll put my hands on.... 1029 01:22:06,672 --> 01:22:07,882 On my head. 1030 01:22:12,303 --> 01:22:13,346 Like this? 1031 01:22:32,865 --> 01:22:34,033 Kay.... 1032 01:22:42,625 --> 01:22:44,585 That did not go at all the way I planned. 1033 01:22:44,752 --> 01:22:46,754 Whatever happens, don't let him get on the second ship. 1034 01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:49,882 -What? What are you talking about? -Keep him on this planet. 1035 01:22:50,049 --> 01:22:52,051 Kay-- Kay, where are you going? 1036 01:22:52,718 --> 01:22:54,804 I'm gonna get my gun back. 1037 01:22:56,556 --> 01:22:59,016 Hey. Hey, bug. Wait a minute, I'm talking to you. 1038 01:22:59,183 --> 01:23:01,644 You know how many of your kind I've swatted with a newspaper? 1039 01:23:01,811 --> 01:23:04,063 You're nothing but a smear on the sports page to me... 1040 01:23:04,230 --> 01:23:07,233 ...you slimy, gut-sucking intestinal parasite. 1041 01:23:07,775 --> 01:23:10,736 Eat me. Eat me! 1042 01:23:14,240 --> 01:23:17,285 Kay. Kay! 1043 01:23:24,750 --> 01:23:26,752 Hey! 1044 01:23:29,130 --> 01:23:30,423 What's up? 1045 01:23:30,590 --> 01:23:33,801 You're just gonna eat and run, huh? What about dessert? Ah! 1046 01:23:38,014 --> 01:23:39,515 Wha--? 1047 01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:41,392 That's it? 1048 01:23:41,559 --> 01:23:45,605 Where are you going? This party's just getting started. 1049 01:23:45,771 --> 01:23:47,940 Where you going? 1050 01:23:48,107 --> 01:23:50,776 Where you going? Unh! 1051 01:23:50,943 --> 01:23:52,111 Let me tell you something. 1052 01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:56,324 There's only one way off of this planet, baby, and that's through me. 1053 01:24:36,614 --> 01:24:38,157 Hey. 1054 01:24:39,325 --> 01:24:41,160 Where you going? 1055 01:24:41,535 --> 01:24:45,748 Why you running, huh? I'm still standing. 1056 01:24:45,915 --> 01:24:47,917 Come on, bring it. Come on, bring it. 1057 01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:10,231 Uh-oh. I'm sorry. Was that your auntie? 1058 01:25:12,525 --> 01:25:15,486 Then that must mean that that's your uncle, then, huh? 1059 01:25:17,321 --> 01:25:20,074 You know y'all look alike. 1060 01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,874 Well, well. 1061 01:25:29,041 --> 01:25:32,086 Big bad bug got a bit of a soft spot, huh? 1062 01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:38,301 See, what I can't understand... 1063 01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:41,387 ...iIs why you gotta come down here, bringing all this ruckus... 1064 01:25:41,554 --> 01:25:43,973 ...shatching up galaxies and everything. 1065 01:25:44,140 --> 01:25:47,393 My attitude is, don't start nothing... 1066 01:25:47,560 --> 01:25:49,312 ...won't be nothing. 1067 01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:58,070 You need to ease up out of my face before something bad happen to you. 1068 01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:01,407 Too late. 1069 01:26:29,268 --> 01:26:33,564 Zed, call the Arquillians. Tell them we have the Galaxy. 1070 01:26:33,731 --> 01:26:35,775 You got it, friend. 1071 01:26:37,276 --> 01:26:41,614 -Going to get your gun back, huh? -I like this gun. 1072 01:26:41,781 --> 01:26:44,200 Yeah, well, while you was in there playing around... 1073 01:26:44,367 --> 01:26:46,160 ...I was down here doing all the work. 1074 01:26:46,327 --> 01:26:49,372 You know, first I had to bean him in the head with this big rock. 1075 01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:51,457 Then I was gonna hit him with this 2-by-4. 1076 01:26:51,624 --> 01:26:53,292 He kicked me, and, you know, it hurt. 1077 01:26:53,459 --> 01:26:56,462 But then I got to the fire, you know. I was like "ah" with the fire. 1078 01:26:56,629 --> 01:26:59,215 Not bad for your second day of work, is it? 1079 01:26:59,799 --> 01:27:03,135 Well, this definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter. 1080 01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:07,223 You should've been here for the Zeronian migration in 1968. 1081 01:27:07,390 --> 01:27:09,100 Whoa. 1082 01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:11,352 I guess you weren't even alive in '68. 1083 01:27:18,192 --> 01:27:20,820 Interesting job you guys have. 1084 01:27:35,376 --> 01:27:38,963 Kay, um, look, I know we got these rules and everything... 1085 01:27:39,130 --> 01:27:41,549 ...but I was thinking, she did help us bust that bug. 1086 01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:44,718 Maybe we didn't have to flashy-thing her. 1087 01:27:45,886 --> 01:27:47,680 Kay, come on, man. What, who's she gonna tell? 1088 01:27:47,847 --> 01:27:49,223 She hang out with all dead people. 1089 01:27:49,390 --> 01:27:52,685 It's not for her. It's for me. 1090 01:27:54,478 --> 01:27:55,604 What? 1091 01:27:57,773 --> 01:27:59,900 They're beautiful, aren't they? 1092 01:28:00,734 --> 01:28:02,153 Stars. 1093 01:28:02,319 --> 01:28:06,157 I mean, I never look at them anymore, but they actually are quite, um... 1094 01:28:08,033 --> 01:28:09,952 ...beautiful. 1095 01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:16,542 Uh, Kay, you're frightening your partner. 1096 01:28:16,709 --> 01:28:20,463 I haven't been training a partner. I've been training a replacement. 1097 01:28:20,880 --> 01:28:25,301 Wait a minute, Kay. I cannot do this job by myself. 1098 01:28:25,468 --> 01:28:28,220 Hey, guys, my apartment isn't anywhere near here. 1099 01:28:28,387 --> 01:28:30,347 It's not even on the same island. 1100 01:28:31,932 --> 01:28:35,978 Days, months, years. 1101 01:28:36,145 --> 01:28:38,272 Always face it forward. 1102 01:28:46,572 --> 01:28:47,615 Kay-- 1103 01:28:47,781 --> 01:28:49,909 I've just been down the gullet of an interstellar cockroach. 1104 01:28:50,075 --> 01:28:53,037 That's one of a hundred memories that I don't want. 1105 01:29:09,803 --> 01:29:11,764 See you around, Jay. 1106 01:29:17,603 --> 01:29:21,273 No, you won't. 1107 01:29:54,014 --> 01:29:55,849 Hey, Jay. 1108 01:29:56,642 --> 01:29:58,894 Zed called. The high consulate from Solaxium 9... 1109 01:29:59,061 --> 01:30:01,063 ...wants floor seats for the Knicks-Bulls game. 1110 01:30:01,230 --> 01:30:05,317 All right, let's put in a call to Dennis Rodman. He's from that planet. 1111 01:30:06,068 --> 01:30:09,488 -Rodman? You're kidding. -Nope. 1112 01:30:09,655 --> 01:30:12,032 Not much of a disguise.