1 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,738 Mysteries in History, with your host, Peter Graves. 2 00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:33,951 Although no one has ever been able to prove their existence... 3 00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:37,288 ...a quasi-government agency, known as the Men in Black... 4 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:40,791 ...supposedly carries out secret operations here on Earth... 5 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:45,046 ...In order to keep us safe from aliens throughout the galaxies. 6 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:48,716 Here is one of their stories that "never happened”... 7 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:53,095 ...from one of their files that doesn't exist. 8 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,807 1978. The leaders of Zartha flee their planet... 9 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:03,272 ...in order to escape the clutches of the evil Kylothian, Serleena. 10 00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:07,652 Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring with them their greatest treasure: 11 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,863 The Light of Zartha, a cosmic force so powerful... 12 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:16,786 ...that in the wrong hands, it could lead to the annihilation of Zartha. 13 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:20,623 The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna, beseeched the Men in Black... 14 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:23,209 ...to hide the Light from Serleena. 15 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,711 But they had no choice. 16 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:29,298 Intervention would have meant the destruction of the Earth. 17 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:35,930 However, in an act of galactic bravery, the Men in Black subdued Serleena... 18 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,224 ...allowing the Zarthans to escape... 19 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:41,102 ...So they might hide the Light on another planet. 20 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:47,817 Serleena, released from her captors, vowed that the Light would be hers... 21 00:01:47,984 --> 00:01:52,947 ...and that she would destroy any planet that stood in her way. 22 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,742 And so never knowing what happened... 23 00:01:56,909 --> 00:02:02,331 ...the people of Earth were, once again, saved by a secret society of protectors... 24 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:05,543 ...known as the Men in Black. 25 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,519 Harvey! 26 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:50,189 Harvey, get over here! 27 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:52,858 Harvey. Heel, heel! 28 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,236 You're barking at the moon, moron. 29 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,238 Harvey. Harvey! 30 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,781 Harvey! 31 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,319 Hey, pretty lady. 32 00:06:01,237 --> 00:06:02,947 You taste good. 33 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:08,786 Hey, what the--? 34 00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:16,085 Yeah, you too. 35 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,303 Nothing fancy, no heroics. By the book this time. 36 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,013 Got it. Hey! 37 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,433 Hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy? 38 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,810 We were just wondering what you're doing here. 39 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:16,687 The man's talking to you. 40 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,272 You know our arrangements. 41 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:21,150 You don't travel outside of the E, F and R subway lines... 42 00:07:21,317 --> 00:07:23,694 ...and you get all the garbage you want. 43 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,614 What the hell are you doing here, worm boy? 44 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,823 Tee. 45 00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,742 Jeff.... 46 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,077 Excuse my partner. He's new, and he's... 47 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,751 ...kind of stupid. 48 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,927 You getting big, Jeff. Boy, what you been eating? 49 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,892 You like jokes, huh? 50 00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,063 Jeffrey! 51 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:07,696 All right. 52 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,658 Sweet dreams, big boy. 53 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,236 Sweet dreams... 54 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,492 ...big boy. 55 00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:56,453 Transit authority. Move to the forward car. 56 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,164 We got a bug in the electrical system. 57 00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,251 Yo, people! 58 00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:06,255 We got a bug in the electrical system! 59 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:11,844 Oh, now y'all running? 60 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,721 No, no, no! Sit down! Sit down! 61 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,681 It's only a 600-foot worm. 62 00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:23,188 -Everybody out before I knock heads. -Put the hammer down on this thing. 63 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:26,817 I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater. I decide what happens on this train. 64 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,695 You decide? Okay, come here. Come here. 65 00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:31,864 -Larry? That's my man, Jeff. -Yeah. 66 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:39,371 -Larry just made a decision. -Larry need to take his ass in there. 67 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,589 Don't make me do this, Jeff! 68 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,034 Eighty-first Street. 69 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,206 Just a second. 70 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,418 May I have your attention, please? 71 00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:29,922 The City of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill. 72 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,091 Had this been an actual emergency, y'all would've been eaten. 73 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,761 Because you don't listen. You're ignorant. 74 00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:38,013 How a man gonna bash through a subway--? 75 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,098 That's the problem with New Yorkers. 76 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:43,894 "We've seen it all. A 600-foot worm! Save us, Mr. Black Man!" 77 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:47,523 I ask you nice, "Move to the next car." You just sit there like-- 78 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,860 Thank you for participating. 79 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:55,948 Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller, more energy-efficient subway cars. 80 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,576 Watch your step. You will have a nice evening. 81 00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:05,123 I need the perimeter secured and a cleanup crew... 82 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,125 ...at 81st and Central Park West. 83 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,503 Revoke Jeff's movement privileges immediately. 84 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,381 Have him escorted to the Chambers Street station. 85 00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:17,469 And please check the expiration date on the unipod worm tranquilizers. 86 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,684 Sorry, fellas. Station closed. 87 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:28,230 -Emergency drill. For your safety. -Do you believe these putzes? 88 00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:31,316 You're welcome. 89 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,249 I know. By the book. 90 00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:51,879 Tee, when was the last time we just looked at the stars? 91 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,132 This is a test. I can do this. 92 00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:00,012 You ever feel like you're alone in the universe? 93 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,722 Yes. 94 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,350 No. 95 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:10,647 -Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie. -Really? 96 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,649 Thanks. 97 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,153 Hey, you're not alone in the universe. 98 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,530 -Remove the arm. -Okay. 99 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,744 Please, shut up, Charlie. 100 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:27,331 I'm tired of you constantly talking behind my back. 101 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,045 You meet a girl. She's into it. The best line you come up with is: 102 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:37,341 "Wanna come back to my place for some tonsil hockey and egg salad?" 103 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:41,136 -Who are you and how'd you get in? -You like egg salad? 104 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,891 Serleena! 105 00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:49,269 Why didn't you say it was you? 106 00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:52,689 -I got your message. Where's the Light? -Here's the deal. 107 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,192 You're looking for this Light. We found it. 108 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:59,655 You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill. Here's how it'll work. First-- 109 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,741 Where is the Light? 110 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:12,042 We couldn't find it, but we found a guy who might know where it is. 111 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,253 He runs a pizza parlor on Spring Street. 112 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,631 Let's go. 113 00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,425 And wipe your nose, idiot. 114 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,685 -Good pie. -Yeah. 115 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,521 Crowded. 116 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,523 Well, they got good pie. 117 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,363 What is wrong with you? 118 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,657 -You're gonna neuralyze me. -No, I'm not. 119 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:46,451 You took me to a public place so I wouldn't make a scene. 120 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,412 You making a scene. 121 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:52,416 Look, let me ask you a question. Why did you join MiB? 122 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:56,128 Six years in the Marines. I like the action. Protect the planet. 123 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,589 You like being a hero? You joined the wrong organization. 124 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:03,719 -You ever heard of James Edwards? -No. 125 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:07,806 Well, he saved the lives of 85 people on the subway tonight. 126 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,475 No one knows he exists. 127 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:15,564 And if no one knows he exists, how can anyone ever love him? 128 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,570 Hey, how long we been partners? 129 00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:24,698 -Feb 1. -Five months, three days. 130 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,576 -Started at noon. -Nine hours. 131 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,085 Get married. Have a bunch of kids. 132 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,296 Okay. 133 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:47,512 Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy, but he thinks you are hot. 134 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:54,519 Here it is. Ta-da. 135 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:56,938 Ben, I don't know what to say. 136 00:14:57,105 --> 00:15:00,025 Years from now, you know what people will say? 137 00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,819 -"Employee" is spelled wrong? -They charge by the letter. 138 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:07,824 People will say, "Imagine that. Big shot like her used to work here." 139 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,367 -Ben-- -You deserve it. 140 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,704 Bring up a case of Mountain Dew from the basement. 141 00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:17,292 Hey, Bruno. 142 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,628 Two slices of pepperoni... 143 00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:22,839 ...and any information you might have about the Light of Zartha. 144 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:26,343 -Whoever you are, don't hurt me. -Where's the Light, Ben? 145 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,971 I don't know what you're talking about. Let me down, ma'am. 146 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,640 I wanna report a robbery-- 147 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,316 There. 148 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,151 Noise. 149 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,154 Kitchen! 150 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,160 You idiots see anything? 151 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,955 Wind blew the door open. 152 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,041 Nothing out of the ordinary. 153 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,503 For 25 years, I've traveled the universe looking for it. 154 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:04,798 But it never left Earth, did it? You kept it here. 155 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,550 What are you talking about? 156 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,261 I'm running out of time. Where's the Light? 157 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,222 -I don't know what you mean. -Listen, Zarthan. 158 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,975 You hid the Light on Earth, and I will find it. 159 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,687 Once we have the Light, Zartha will be ours. 160 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:21,398 You're too late. Tomorrow, at midnight... 161 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:25,110 ...the Light will leave the third planet and be back home. 162 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:28,321 Sorry you made the trip for nothing. 163 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,417 Got nothing. Now we don't know if it's on Earth or not. 164 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,961 He said "third planet." It's here, you idiot. 165 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:46,631 - Third Rock from the Sun. -I never got that till now. 166 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:51,219 It's on Earth, and I know who's gonna tell me where it is. 167 00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,663 -Don't you ever go home? -Nope. 168 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,666 I see you neuralyzed another partner. 169 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,926 Bee, Dee, when you use a fission carbonizer... 170 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:34,679 ...attach a de-atomizer so it doesn't sound like a cannon. 171 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:38,266 Hey, get some booties on them things. You're crapping up the floor. 172 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,105 Check his visa. 173 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:48,443 The Cephalopods have been making counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal. 174 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:53,865 Why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph going through passport control? 175 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:58,203 That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry. Please don't neuralyze me, sir. 176 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,915 -What's that supposed to mean? -Nothing, sir. 177 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,003 Good work in the subway. 178 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,005 I remember Jeff when he was yea high. 179 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,049 What you got for me? 180 00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,510 Look. See those guys in black suits? 181 00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:16,763 -They work here. We got it covered. -Zed, what you got? 182 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:21,101 Dedication's one thing, but this job will eat you up and spit you out. 183 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:24,312 You want to look like me when you hit 50... 184 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,648 ...ish? 185 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,734 I'll be in the gym if you need me. 186 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,905 All right, there was a killing earlier. 177 Spring. 187 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,156 Alien-on-alien. 188 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,909 Take Tee with you and make a report. 189 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,912 Tee. Right. 190 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,498 What happened, what happened with Tee-- 191 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,668 Passports. No rush. How they hanging, Jay? 192 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:49,838 You have got to stop neuralyzing MiB personnel. 193 00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:52,257 The dude was crying in the middle of the diner. 194 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:53,967 I hate that. 195 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,761 And plus, you can't count Elle. 196 00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,889 She wanted to go back to the morgue. I helped her. 197 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,934 -You need a partner. -I'm cool. 198 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,228 I'll be his partner. 199 00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,107 Jay, wait up. I appreciate the shot, man. 200 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:11,484 -Thought I'd never get out. -Lose the suit. 201 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,862 Sure thing, partner. Just going for the look. 202 00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:16,865 But if I say so myself, I find it slimming. 203 00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:19,534 Not that I've had any problems with the ladies. 204 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,286 When you get down to brass tacks-- 205 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:23,204 Nice sled, very swank. 206 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,498 Heated seats? Sometimes, I get hives. 207 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,271 Frank! 208 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,776 Bring your head in this window before I roll it up in there. 209 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,319 Got it. 210 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,785 Frank! 211 00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,996 My money? It's missionary. 212 00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,249 I was in the Bowery, and I meet this Great Dane. 213 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,668 A little thick in the body, but pretty. 214 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,046 That's just not appealing to me, man. Seriously. 215 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:16,424 Okay. Okay. So I say we do the good-cop, bad-cop thing. 216 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,135 You interrogate the witness, and I growl. 217 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:23,598 How about we do the good-cop, dumb-dog thing, and you just shut up? 218 00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:26,101 You got it, partner. Total silence. 219 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,395 Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me. 220 00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:31,940 What do we got? 221 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:33,817 Zip. 222 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,529 -What do we got? -There's phosphorus residue on the wall. 223 00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:42,617 -We sent samples to Em for analysis. -Hey, Jay, 0-percent body fat. 224 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,038 -Funny. -Witness? 225 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:49,541 Girl. Saw everything. 226 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,293 She's taking it well. 227 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,631 I won't answer any more questions. I wanna know what happened here. 228 00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:59,092 -I'll handle this one. -You got it. 229 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:02,637 Alone. The talking-dog thing might be a bit much for her right now. 230 00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:04,848 What do you want me to do? 231 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,225 Sniff around. 232 00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,352 What? 233 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:10,979 Funny. 234 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,606 Take a deep breath, ma'am. Everything is all right. 235 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,901 What part is she supposed to feel all right about? 236 00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:21,698 I'm Agent Jay. 237 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,366 Tell me what you saw. 238 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,035 -A two-headed guy and a woman. -Caucasian? 239 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,164 Gray, with tentacles that she used to rip-- 240 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,498 His skin off of his body. 241 00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:35,920 It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer similar to the gum in baseball cards. 242 00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,673 -What was the last thing you ate? -Calzone. 243 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,966 -What time? -Lunch. 244 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,426 -Spinach? -Mushroom. 245 00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,929 You need pie. 246 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,099 A light. They just kept asking Ben about a light. 247 00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:50,477 "Light of Zartha," or something like that. 248 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,520 You okay? 249 00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:55,982 An hour ago, a man I've known my whole life vanished... 250 00:21:56,149 --> 00:21:58,735 ...because of a woman with things coming out her fingers... 251 00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:01,613 ...and a two-headed guy with the 1Q of a cannoli. 252 00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,907 So yeah, everything's okay. 253 00:22:05,909 --> 00:22:09,746 Look, when we're kids, before we're taught how to think... 254 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:13,041 ...our hearts tell us there is something else out there. 255 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,335 Now, I know what I saw. 256 00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:18,338 You tell me what I'm supposed to believe. 257 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,720 I'm a member of a secret organization... 258 00:22:25,887 --> 00:22:29,098 ...that polices and monitors alien activity on Earth. 259 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,476 Ben was an alien. So were his killers. 260 00:22:31,643 --> 00:22:35,647 I don't know why they did it, but I promise I'm gonna find out. 261 00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,900 Okay. 262 00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,819 -Okay? -Okay. 263 00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:44,656 Okay. 264 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:52,747 -I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to-- -Kill me. 265 00:22:52,914 --> 00:22:54,249 No! 266 00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:58,545 No. Just a little flash, and everything goes back the way it was. 267 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:02,090 After you flash me... 268 00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:04,926 ...if I see you again, will I know it's you? 269 00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:07,095 I'll see you. 270 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:11,516 But you won't see me. 271 00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:12,725 Must be hard. 272 00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:15,812 Must be very lonely. 273 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:32,620 Excuse me. 274 00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:36,958 -I gotta go. -What about the flashy thing? 275 00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:40,712 I'll flash you some other time. 276 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:00,148 What? 277 00:24:04,694 --> 00:24:10,199 -Did you tell the girl you love her? -She's a witness to a crime. That's it. 278 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:14,495 You're attracted. She's not even my species, and I'm attracted. 279 00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:18,666 I should take advice on love from a dude that chases his own ass? 280 00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:22,837 Easy, pal. That's canine profiling, and I resent it. 281 00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:40,897 Hey, Jay, wait up. 282 00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:44,067 Coming through. MiB brass. Look sharp. 283 00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:48,196 I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner. Who are you eyeballing? 284 00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:50,657 Frank, just cool out, dog. 285 00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:53,951 -Got kids? -No. 286 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,578 Want them? 287 00:24:58,790 --> 00:25:00,792 Get him off me! 288 00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:11,761 -Talk to me. -It's Kylothian, class C. 289 00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:12,970 Serleena. 290 00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,556 -Serleena. Old girlfriend? -She wishes. 291 00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:18,351 Witness said the perps were looking for the Light of-- 292 00:25:18,518 --> 00:25:20,186 -Zartha. -Yeah, what is it? 293 00:25:20,353 --> 00:25:22,814 This makes no sense. The Light's not on Earth. 294 00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:26,275 -We took care of this a long time ago. -Well, obviously not. 295 00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:28,361 That is very bad news. 296 00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:32,365 Twenty-five years ago, The Zarthans came to Earth to hide the Light from Serleena. 297 00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:35,993 -We don't do that. -Right. I ordered it off the planet. 298 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,787 Well, Zed... 299 00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:42,417 ...I got a Kylothian class C in my park. Are you sure this Light isn't here? 300 00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:46,170 Positive. I gave the order. My best agent carried it out. 301 00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:48,923 -It's as if I gave the order to you. -Ask the agent. 302 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,174 -Can't. -Dead? 303 00:25:50,341 --> 00:25:53,511 Sort of. He works at the post office. 304 00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:55,805 No. 305 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:58,641 If Serleena gets to Kay before we do, he's dead. 306 00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:01,853 The Earth's very existence may rest on what Kay knows. 307 00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:04,480 Too bad you wiped out his memory of it. 308 00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:06,149 Bring him in. 309 00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:07,525 Now. 310 00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:11,779 How cool is this? Going to get Kay. The legend, the go-to guy. 311 00:26:11,946 --> 00:26:14,490 Your mentor, the guy who taught you everything you know. 312 00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:19,287 -The greatest agent in MiB history! -Frank! Stop talking. 313 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,375 Stay. 314 00:26:24,542 --> 00:26:27,170 Listen, partner. I may look like a dog... 315 00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:29,797 ...but I only play one here on Earth. 316 00:26:30,173 --> 00:26:33,217 -Whatever. Wipe your mouth. -Hey, babe. 317 00:26:39,015 --> 00:26:42,310 Good people of Truro, Massachusetts may I kindly have your attention? 318 00:26:42,477 --> 00:26:44,896 To facilitate your shipping needs... 319 00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,732 ...all packages must be properly wrapped. 320 00:26:47,899 --> 00:26:51,778 This one is an example of "go home, and do it again." 321 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:54,655 I think you know what I mean, Mrs. Vigushin. 322 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:59,786 Brown paper and triple-twist twine are the preferred media. 323 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,829 Thank you for your time. 324 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:05,792 -Kay. -C. Express mail, two-day air. 325 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:08,836 Kevin. 326 00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:13,758 Kevin. That's funny. You don't have a "Kevin"... 327 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:18,721 You don't remember me, but we worked together. 328 00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:22,266 I never worked in a funeral home. Something I can do for you, slick? 329 00:27:22,433 --> 00:27:24,852 Okay. Straight to the point. 330 00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:29,774 You are a former agent of an organization that monitors aliens on Earth. 331 00:27:29,941 --> 00:27:34,028 We're the Men in Black. We have a situation. We need your help. 332 00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:37,907 There is a free mental-health clinic at the corner of Lilac and East Valley. 333 00:27:38,074 --> 00:27:40,076 -Next. -Excuse me. 334 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,620 -Twenty Rugrats stamps. -Elizabeth. 335 00:27:42,787 --> 00:27:47,083 The United States Postal Service hasn't kept up with today's youth, but we have... 336 00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:49,919 -...Berlin airlift stamps. Opera legends? -No. No. 337 00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:53,089 -American Samoa? Amish quilts. -No. 338 00:27:53,256 --> 00:27:55,967 I'm sorry, got a world to save here. 339 00:27:57,301 --> 00:27:59,303 There was no coma. It was all a cover. 340 00:27:59,470 --> 00:28:01,347 -Who are you? -Question is: Who are you? 341 00:28:01,514 --> 00:28:04,851 The Postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts, and I'm ordering you to leave. 342 00:28:05,059 --> 00:28:06,519 Kay.... 343 00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,147 -Is that decaf? -Sorry. 344 00:28:10,314 --> 00:28:12,817 We have a breach. Cordon off this area. 345 00:28:12,984 --> 00:28:15,695 Full perimeter wipe-down, right here, right now. 346 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:19,323 Get a mop and escort all civilian personnel from this site immediately. 347 00:28:19,490 --> 00:28:20,575 Yes, sir. 348 00:28:20,741 --> 00:28:23,786 Listen to yourself, Kay. Who talks like that? 349 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,261 Why do you think you're so comfortable here? 350 00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:27,683 Just about everybody who works in a post office is an alien. 351 00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:36,859 No smoking. 352 00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:47,828 Kay. 353 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,749 My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy fly a tiger around a room. 354 00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:53,417 You're nothing special. 355 00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:56,504 When you look at the stars, you get a feeling... 356 00:29:56,671 --> 00:29:58,673 ...like you don't know who you are. 357 00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:02,426 Like you know more about out there than you do down here. 358 00:30:02,593 --> 00:30:04,595 That's why she left you, Kay. 359 00:30:04,762 --> 00:30:07,181 That's why your wife left you. 360 00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:10,935 Okay, I'll tell you what. 361 00:30:11,102 --> 00:30:15,147 You decide you wanna know who you really are, come take a ride with me. 362 00:30:15,314 --> 00:30:18,025 If not, people are waiting for their TV Guides. 363 00:30:22,363 --> 00:30:23,864 Think he'll bite? 364 00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:33,499 I'm just going for a ride. If things don't add up, it's hasta luego. 365 00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:35,251 Hey, Kay. 366 00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:37,878 How's it hanging? 367 00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:54,979 Good to see you, Kay. 368 00:30:55,146 --> 00:30:58,274 Good to see you too, whoever you are. 369 00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:03,779 Well, let's see what you got here, chief. 370 00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:15,499 Welcome back, Agent Kay. 371 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,086 Agent Kay. 372 00:31:19,670 --> 00:31:21,797 Greetings, Kay. 373 00:31:23,966 --> 00:31:25,301 Wow, look who's back. 374 00:31:25,468 --> 00:31:28,012 I don't mean to bother you-- You're Agent Kay! 375 00:31:28,179 --> 00:31:31,348 -That's what they tell me. -This is an honor. Agent Gee. 376 00:31:31,515 --> 00:31:33,976 A legend. The most-respected agent in MiB history. 377 00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:36,645 The most-feared human in the universe. 378 00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:39,815 Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee? Hear some war stories? 379 00:31:39,982 --> 00:31:42,651 -Black, two sugars, if you're going. -An honor. 380 00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:45,946 -Yeah, I'll take a-- My man? -Good to see you, Kay. 381 00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:49,200 How'd it go? 382 00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:51,869 The Drolacks are gone and the treaty is signed. 383 00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:53,079 Good work. 384 00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:56,540 Zed, what about that position you promised me in Men in Black? 385 00:31:56,707 --> 00:32:00,169 Still working on the alien affirmative-action program. 386 00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:02,546 Wait a minute. That's not what you promised me. 387 00:32:02,713 --> 00:32:04,840 -You're breaking up. -Zed? Hello? 388 00:32:05,007 --> 00:32:08,636 -I'll call you back. -I could be Agent Em. Zed, you-- 389 00:32:09,345 --> 00:32:14,141 Kay, I think Earth might be in a bad way. You're the only one that could save it. 390 00:32:14,308 --> 00:32:17,394 -Well, neither rain, sleet, snow.... -Good man. 391 00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:21,482 Get him armed and up to speed and over to deneuralyzation. 392 00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:23,776 -Frank? -Yeah? 393 00:32:23,984 --> 00:32:26,904 I'm gonna need them together on this one. 394 00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:31,033 I need an assistant. It's not field work, but you get dental. 395 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,701 Dental? 396 00:32:35,246 --> 00:32:39,667 The most advanced technologies from all over the universe are in this room. 397 00:32:39,834 --> 00:32:41,001 What's this? 398 00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:45,256 All is lost! All is lost! 399 00:32:46,382 --> 00:32:47,925 Don't touch that! 400 00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:50,761 I didn't do anything. 401 00:32:50,928 --> 00:32:53,931 Hands in your pockets. 402 00:33:03,524 --> 00:33:05,693 Your favorite weapon. 403 00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:10,865 -That? -Yep. 404 00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:13,367 -Let's go put it on. -What? 405 00:33:13,534 --> 00:33:15,828 The last suit you'll ever wear. 406 00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,580 Again. 407 00:33:24,628 --> 00:33:26,005 The deneuralyzer. 408 00:33:27,590 --> 00:33:30,634 In a few moments, magneto-energy will surge through your brain... 409 00:33:30,801 --> 00:33:35,431 ...unlocking information that could hold the key to Earth's very survival. 410 00:33:35,598 --> 00:33:38,225 Okay. What's that thing? 411 00:33:39,602 --> 00:33:41,604 The deneuralyzer. 412 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,442 DUTY-FREE LIQUOR 413 00:33:49,153 --> 00:33:53,157 Welcome to planet Earth. There are some rules and regulations. 414 00:33:53,324 --> 00:33:54,491 Go out only at night. 415 00:33:54,658 --> 00:33:58,662 If you must go out during the daylight, only the East Village. 416 00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,085 Hey, hey, hey! 417 00:34:09,256 --> 00:34:12,176 Name and planet of origin? 418 00:34:12,343 --> 00:34:16,889 Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn. Kaluth system. 419 00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:21,143 -Any fruits or vegetables? -Yeah, two heads of cabbage. 420 00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:22,353 Reason for visit? 421 00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:26,023 Education. I really wanna learn how to be an underwear model. 422 00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:28,943 They told me I've got real potential. 423 00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:33,280 Help! Heart attack! 424 00:34:34,490 --> 00:34:35,950 Clear! 425 00:34:37,201 --> 00:34:39,203 Wake up, champ! 426 00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:45,209 Oh, jeez. 427 00:34:45,376 --> 00:34:47,920 Lockdown. Code 101. 428 00:34:48,796 --> 00:34:50,798 Lockdown. 429 00:34:51,674 --> 00:34:54,343 This is not good. This is not good. 430 00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:04,019 -Breach! We're being flushed. -Flushed? 431 00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:07,690 -Ever been to a water park? -I don't know. 432 00:35:41,557 --> 00:35:43,142 Flushed. 433 00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:48,480 Yeah, man, back when you was an agent, you loved getting flushed. 434 00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:53,235 Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me." 435 00:35:53,402 --> 00:35:55,154 I'd be like, "No." 436 00:35:56,780 --> 00:35:58,282 You can't quit on me. 437 00:35:58,449 --> 00:36:01,368 I save the world, you tell me why I stare at the stars. 438 00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:03,078 Cool. 439 00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:07,082 -Hop in. -Hop in what? 440 00:36:13,297 --> 00:36:14,715 Does that come standard? 441 00:36:14,882 --> 00:36:17,593 It came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over. 442 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,053 Yep. 443 00:36:21,597 --> 00:36:26,477 Silly little planet. I could rule the place with the right set of mammary glands. 444 00:36:26,852 --> 00:36:28,437 Trapped like rats... 445 00:36:29,146 --> 00:36:30,230 ...in a Chia Pet. 446 00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:32,983 Computer, surveillance MiB. 447 00:36:37,780 --> 00:36:39,615 MiB is locked down. 448 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:45,287 Computer, magnify. Times 10. 449 00:36:46,455 --> 00:36:48,332 Communicator. Frank. 450 00:36:48,624 --> 00:36:50,959 -Jay, where are you? -We got flushed. 451 00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:53,295 -MiB is code 101. -Yeah, who did it? 452 00:36:53,462 --> 00:36:56,423 Some hot-looking biker chick. Want me to tail her? 453 00:36:56,590 --> 00:37:01,470 -Stay where you are. I'll be in touch. -Stay where I am. Easy for you to say. 454 00:37:01,637 --> 00:37:03,013 -Find Kay? -Neuralyzed. 455 00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:05,808 -Not active. Civilian. -What? 456 00:37:05,974 --> 00:37:07,017 -He was-- -Here. 457 00:37:07,184 --> 00:37:08,519 -To get-- -Deneuralyzed. 458 00:37:08,685 --> 00:37:13,232 -Memory's shot. But we'll find him. -Don't put anything in our ears. 459 00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,192 What? 460 00:37:15,359 --> 00:37:18,821 What do you make of that? Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh? 461 00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:21,740 -Yeah, you're smiling. -Is that the only deneuralyzer? 462 00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:24,827 Officially. The plans leaked out on the Internet. 463 00:37:24,993 --> 00:37:26,995 Computer, Internet. 464 00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,997 Deneuralyzer. 465 00:37:33,085 --> 00:37:35,045 Perfect. It's an old friend. 466 00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:44,847 Jay, ain't seen you in a while. 467 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,766 Did you peep that drop-top thing out front? 468 00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:50,060 My business is banging, dog. 469 00:37:50,561 --> 00:37:53,939 You gotta check out the website. It's "Jeebsie dot--" 470 00:37:54,189 --> 00:37:56,191 Okay, whoa. He's retired, right? 471 00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,402 We need the deneuralyzer. 472 00:37:58,569 --> 00:38:01,905 -You're kidding. -The meter's running, Jeebs. 473 00:38:04,324 --> 00:38:06,535 Do you remember me? 474 00:38:07,119 --> 00:38:09,663 Can't say I do. I'm pretty good with faces. I-- 475 00:38:09,830 --> 00:38:11,457 I think I'd remember that. 476 00:38:12,708 --> 00:38:14,751 The great Kay's a neutral. 477 00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:19,214 You're between me and my memories. Do you have this deneuralyzer or not? 478 00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:20,716 No. 479 00:38:21,884 --> 00:38:23,385 Fresh out. 480 00:38:24,595 --> 00:38:26,263 Can't help you. 481 00:38:28,348 --> 00:38:29,892 Don't got it. 482 00:38:38,567 --> 00:38:42,446 Even if I did, if it doesn't work, he dies, you blow my head off. 483 00:38:42,613 --> 00:38:46,658 If it does, I've brought back Kay, who, for fun, blows my head off. 484 00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:48,744 So, what's my incentive? 485 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:53,248 Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs next to the snow blowers. 486 00:38:56,752 --> 00:38:59,963 Alien prisoners released, armed and ready for your orders. 487 00:39:00,130 --> 00:39:03,592 Prisoners of MiB, the scum of the universe. 488 00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:05,594 Now it's the scum's turn. 489 00:39:05,761 --> 00:39:08,222 I'm in a jam, so I'll make this simple. 490 00:39:08,639 --> 00:39:12,100 I need the Light of Zartha, and Kay knows where it is. 491 00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:14,478 Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth. 492 00:39:14,645 --> 00:39:18,065 Start by finding a deneuralyzer. They're gonna wanna get his memory back. 493 00:39:18,232 --> 00:39:19,608 Check. 494 00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,277 Now. 495 00:39:25,656 --> 00:39:27,616 Jarra, good to see you. 496 00:39:31,620 --> 00:39:33,497 Okay, that should do it. 497 00:39:33,664 --> 00:39:38,043 If I could have your attention while we go over the safety procedures. 498 00:39:38,210 --> 00:39:40,712 Keep your hands inside the vehicle. 499 00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:44,091 If, at any point, during the ride, you become disoriented... 500 00:39:44,258 --> 00:39:46,843 ...there's nothing we can do about it. 501 00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:49,888 Have you removed all your jewelry? 502 00:39:52,349 --> 00:39:54,768 -Are you allergic to shellfish? -Jeebs! 503 00:39:54,935 --> 00:39:57,563 Right, then! Smoke them if you got them. 504 00:40:04,236 --> 00:40:05,696 Have you ever used this before? 505 00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:09,658 I used it to make some hot-air popcorn. That's about it. 506 00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:12,786 Okay! Let's make it happen, captain! 507 00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,384 Perfect. 508 00:41:23,065 --> 00:41:25,108 -You're back. -No. 509 00:41:25,275 --> 00:41:26,693 How'd you know his head grows back? 510 00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:28,487 It grows back? 511 00:41:31,031 --> 00:41:34,910 Real nice. Okay, that's the last time I help out a friend. 512 00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:39,915 -Kay, you remember anything? -Goodbye. 513 00:41:40,082 --> 00:41:41,625 -Kay! -Kay, wait! 514 00:41:42,459 --> 00:41:46,046 I never got the updated software. Still working off the 6.0. 515 00:41:46,213 --> 00:41:48,090 Your brain needs to reboot. 516 00:41:49,341 --> 00:41:50,676 Give it a minute. 517 00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:52,260 Kay! 518 00:41:52,511 --> 00:41:55,597 Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. I hope it won't affect our friendship. 519 00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:57,766 Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. I hope it won't affect our friendship. 520 00:41:57,933 --> 00:42:02,479 All those years of loyalty and trust, respect for one another. 521 00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:06,149 Right over there! 522 00:42:07,776 --> 00:42:10,237 -Where's Kay? -He's not here! He went-- 523 00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:13,782 Kay's retired. I'm his trigger-happy replacement. 524 00:42:13,949 --> 00:42:17,494 Oh, great. Right in the pie hole. Now nothing's gonna taste right. 525 00:42:17,661 --> 00:42:20,122 -Lower your weapon. -No. 526 00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:28,171 Jay, how are you, boo-boo? 527 00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:31,007 -These guys really need Kay. -He's a neutral. 528 00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:34,845 -Tell me something we don't know. -Yeah, tell me something-- 529 00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:36,596 I am so sorry. 530 00:42:36,763 --> 00:42:38,724 -God bless you. -Thank you. 531 00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:44,104 Look, if I don't bring Kay back to MiB, Serleena's gonna kick my ass. 532 00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:46,314 -Now, where is he? -Where is who? 533 00:42:46,481 --> 00:42:47,983 You don't look too good. 534 00:42:49,609 --> 00:42:51,653 Yeah, and you look like crap. 535 00:42:54,281 --> 00:42:57,284 I take that back. He look like crap. 536 00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:01,830 -Bend him! -Bend him. 537 00:43:01,997 --> 00:43:03,790 Wait, don't bend him. 538 00:43:25,771 --> 00:43:28,064 Hey, honey, how you doing? 539 00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:43,455 Damn decent of you. 540 00:43:44,039 --> 00:43:45,332 Don't mention it. 541 00:44:06,144 --> 00:44:08,980 -I think I'm gonna be sick. -You don't wanna do that. 542 00:44:09,147 --> 00:44:13,109 -Fellas, I think he's telling the truth. -Then he's no good to us. 543 00:44:15,529 --> 00:44:18,240 -Didn't I teach you anything, kid? -Pineal eye! 544 00:44:21,076 --> 00:44:22,786 Go for the mosh tendrils! 545 00:44:26,873 --> 00:44:28,083 Kay, he's a ball-chinnian. 546 00:44:33,255 --> 00:44:35,799 -You were in a tight spot. -I handled it. 547 00:44:35,966 --> 00:44:38,593 -You need a partner. -I had one. Job got too tough. 548 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,263 I'm back. You got some dust on your coat. 549 00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:43,306 -So, you got your memory back. -Yeah. 550 00:44:43,473 --> 00:44:45,308 -What the hell is going on? -Don't know. 551 00:44:45,475 --> 00:44:48,562 -Okay. What is the Light of Zartha? -Never heard of it. 552 00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:49,729 Cool. 553 00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:55,443 If your memory's back, why don't you remember the Light of Zartha? 554 00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:58,321 Must've neuralyzed myself to keep it from myself. 555 00:44:58,488 --> 00:45:01,783 -Good plan. What you doing? -I always do the driving. 556 00:45:01,950 --> 00:45:03,952 -Wait, no. -I remember that. 557 00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:07,539 What you remember is you used to drive that old, busted jawn. 558 00:45:07,706 --> 00:45:11,251 See, I drive the new hotness. 559 00:45:11,418 --> 00:45:13,128 Old and busted... 560 00:45:13,295 --> 00:45:15,297 ...new hotness. 561 00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:26,308 Old busted hotness. 562 00:45:26,474 --> 00:45:29,185 -Serleena, please. -Been a long time, Zed. 563 00:45:29,352 --> 00:45:32,981 I'm just touched you remembered me. Makes me fuzzy all over. 564 00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:36,568 Never forget a pretty whatever you are. 565 00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:40,155 Zed? 566 00:45:40,614 --> 00:45:42,449 Zed? Look at you. 567 00:45:42,616 --> 00:45:45,660 Twenty-five years, and you're still just such a looker. 568 00:45:45,827 --> 00:45:47,537 Cut out the meat and dairy. 569 00:45:47,704 --> 00:45:51,499 And you, still a pile of squirmy crap in a different wrapper. 570 00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:55,462 Oh, so feisty. Look, Zed, we both need the same thing. 571 00:45:58,173 --> 00:45:59,966 Bring him in. 572 00:46:00,634 --> 00:46:01,718 Don't think so. 573 00:46:01,885 --> 00:46:05,722 What about the Light's secret? If it's not off Earth by midnight... 574 00:46:05,889 --> 00:46:08,391 ...it self-destructs, annihilating your little planet. 575 00:46:08,558 --> 00:46:13,480 Here's the deal: I lose, you lose. I win, everything keeps spinning. 576 00:46:13,647 --> 00:46:16,858 You don't want the Light on Earth any more than I do. 577 00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:22,197 All right, Serleena. 578 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,366 You win. 579 00:46:26,701 --> 00:46:30,205 Zed? Is that you? I could be Agent Em. 580 00:46:30,413 --> 00:46:31,498 Zed. Hello? 581 00:46:42,342 --> 00:46:44,928 So feisty. 582 00:46:49,099 --> 00:46:52,644 Fastest way back to MiB, you take this right on 39th. 583 00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:54,521 Right here. Right. 584 00:46:56,523 --> 00:46:58,441 Next right on 37th. 585 00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:01,236 Right here, 30-- 30-- Right! 586 00:47:01,403 --> 00:47:02,988 We're not going back to MiB. 587 00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:08,243 Headquarters has been breached. We need to peel caps and split wigs. 588 00:47:08,410 --> 00:47:10,036 Not ready. 589 00:47:10,453 --> 00:47:13,915 Look, you've been out for five years. That's a long time. 590 00:47:14,082 --> 00:47:17,210 I understand that you're a little scared. I'm a little scared too. 591 00:47:17,377 --> 00:47:19,421 -I'm not scared. -Me neither. 592 00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:22,424 I-- I just thought we was bonding. 593 00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:26,970 Five years, and still acting like a rookie. Splitting wigs and stepping on caps. 594 00:47:27,137 --> 00:47:31,599 -No wonder Zed brought me back. -He did it because you messed up. 595 00:47:31,766 --> 00:47:34,477 Your attitude makes for a stressful environment. 596 00:47:34,644 --> 00:47:38,732 Tell it to the hand. Stressful is what we got back at MiB. 597 00:47:38,898 --> 00:47:43,486 Exactly. Serleena thinks I know where the Light is and broke into MiB to lure me back. 598 00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:45,739 Into a trap. 599 00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:48,450 Which is why we can't bust in there. 600 00:47:48,616 --> 00:47:51,619 We gotta have a plan. Where we going? Scene of the crime? 601 00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:55,999 -You're the boss. -Scene of the crime. That's a left though. 602 00:47:58,460 --> 00:48:01,046 Here it is. I'll contact the witness. We'll talk to her. 603 00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:03,256 Things have changed. We used to neuralyze witnesses. 604 00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:05,425 See, I-- I'd-- 605 00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:07,469 Originally, I'd-- 606 00:48:08,470 --> 00:48:12,932 No, I was going to-- I interrogated her. 607 00:48:13,099 --> 00:48:13,975 -Then neuralyzed her? -What you mean? 608 00:48:13,975 --> 00:48:14,809 -Then neuralyzed her? -What you mean? 609 00:48:14,976 --> 00:48:20,815 MiB code 773II-1 clearly states that all civilian personnel-- 610 00:48:20,982 --> 00:48:22,859 -Drop that weapon! -No! 611 00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:24,611 -Jay, I'm-- I'm sorry. -No. 612 00:48:24,778 --> 00:48:27,739 No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault. 613 00:48:27,906 --> 00:48:30,533 Kay, my partner. Laura, the witness. 614 00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:31,826 Pleasure. 615 00:48:33,119 --> 00:48:36,539 Thanks for sending those agents over to keep an eye on me last night. 616 00:48:36,706 --> 00:48:37,707 That was really sweet. 617 00:48:37,874 --> 00:48:39,876 MiB procedural code 594-B... 618 00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:43,129 ...States MiB personnel shall never be used for any other purpose-- 619 00:48:43,296 --> 00:48:45,381 Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here. 620 00:48:45,548 --> 00:48:48,718 So I'm assuming that the perp was over in this direction. 621 00:48:48,885 --> 00:48:50,470 Ben. 622 00:48:50,637 --> 00:48:53,473 -Was he 5'7", portly fellow, thinning hair? -You knew him? 623 00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:56,142 Nope. Never seen him before in my life. 624 00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:58,228 That is a hell of a fish. 625 00:49:01,189 --> 00:49:03,191 Wait a minute. 626 00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:09,739 You left yourself clues? 627 00:49:09,906 --> 00:49:13,993 In case I was deneuralyzed because my replacement couldn't handle it. 628 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,330 Well, if the joker that had got deneuralyzed hadn't created... 629 00:49:17,497 --> 00:49:20,083 -...the situation in the first place-- -Boys. 630 00:49:22,085 --> 00:49:25,171 All right. You pointing at something. 631 00:49:27,799 --> 00:49:28,925 Okay. 632 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,677 Excuse me. 633 00:49:32,011 --> 00:49:33,805 The astronaut. 634 00:49:35,390 --> 00:49:36,558 Jay? 635 00:49:37,058 --> 00:49:39,352 Okay, all right. He's pointing-- 636 00:49:39,519 --> 00:49:41,479 He's like: 637 00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,025 Who would stack pizza boxes like this? 638 00:49:46,192 --> 00:49:50,113 A pizza-box stacker who's not stacking pizza boxes. He's leaving clues. 639 00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:51,698 It's an arrow. 640 00:49:55,702 --> 00:49:58,121 -Jay? -You're slowing me down, slick. 641 00:49:58,288 --> 00:50:01,916 Whatever we're looking for is in these cabinets, right here. 642 00:50:03,293 --> 00:50:05,503 Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil. 643 00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:12,093 I hope I'm not slowing you down. 644 00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:15,555 Good work, partner. Yeah. 645 00:50:15,722 --> 00:50:18,016 -We gotta figure out where it goes. -I know where. 646 00:50:18,183 --> 00:50:23,104 -Whoa, Kay-- No. Not yet. -MiB code 773 clearly says-- 647 00:50:23,271 --> 00:50:26,441 I know the code, but she might be important to me. 648 00:50:27,066 --> 00:50:29,569 To us. Well, for help. To help us later. 649 00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:32,447 Well, she can't stay here. They'll be back. 650 00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:38,119 -You can stay with friends of mine. -People like you? 651 00:50:39,621 --> 00:50:40,622 Kind of. 652 00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:42,373 Jay! 653 00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:45,043 -Low bridge! -What's going on, man? 654 00:50:45,210 --> 00:50:48,463 Hey, what's happening, fellas? MiB is code 101. 655 00:50:49,088 --> 00:50:50,465 -Bad. -Very bad. 656 00:50:50,632 --> 00:50:54,677 -I need your help. This is Laura. -Laura! 657 00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:56,471 Easy, easy! 658 00:50:56,638 --> 00:50:58,598 -They're worms. -Once you go worm... 659 00:50:58,765 --> 00:51:01,142 ...that's what you'll yearn. 660 00:51:01,309 --> 00:51:04,646 -That's what they say. They just: -I've dated worse. 661 00:51:05,188 --> 00:51:07,815 They're suspended for stealing from duty-free shop. 662 00:51:07,982 --> 00:51:10,777 -We were framed. -Zed's wormophobic. 663 00:51:10,944 --> 00:51:12,111 -Kay! -You're back! 664 00:51:12,278 --> 00:51:14,489 -They said you were dead. -We're double-parked. 665 00:51:14,656 --> 00:51:17,200 Yeah. Laura's very important to me. 666 00:51:17,909 --> 00:51:21,496 To us. To the stuff-- Me and you, man. The stuff we doing. 667 00:51:22,288 --> 00:51:25,667 -Keep an eye on her. -I'll keep both on her. 668 00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:26,834 No problem! 669 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:28,878 Hey, hey, hey! 670 00:51:29,045 --> 00:51:31,839 -Why don't you sit here? -Oh, yeah. Like you got a shot. 671 00:51:32,006 --> 00:51:33,174 Hey, shut up! 672 00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:39,013 My communicator, in case you need it. 673 00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:45,019 -Nice move. -Okay. 674 00:51:46,729 --> 00:51:50,733 -Just watch out for Neeble. -Which one's Neeble? 675 00:51:50,900 --> 00:51:52,360 He's.... 676 00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:55,405 -Which one of y'all is Neeble? -Yo, mama! 677 00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:59,784 Him, right there. It's fine. Everything's straight. It's safe. 678 00:51:59,951 --> 00:52:01,119 Don't fall asleep. 679 00:52:03,663 --> 00:52:05,248 Twister! 680 00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:11,838 Can you run over your plan one more time? I'm struggling with it. 681 00:52:12,005 --> 00:52:16,050 You neuralyzed memory of the Light but left yourself clues if you came back? 682 00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:17,927 -Right. -Photo in an old suit... 683 00:52:18,094 --> 00:52:22,015 ...pointing to a key on a nail in a pizzeria, which opens a locker at Grand Central. 684 00:52:22,181 --> 00:52:24,767 -Right. -And in the locker, we'll find another clue. 685 00:52:24,934 --> 00:52:26,728 That's the plan. 686 00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:32,775 -I like to keep my enemies confused. -We all confused, Kay. 687 00:52:34,861 --> 00:52:36,654 You're not gonna slow me down, are you? 688 00:52:36,821 --> 00:52:39,490 Slow you down? Who's brain's working on outdated software? 689 00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:41,784 Why don't you go grab us some coffee? 690 00:52:41,951 --> 00:52:45,455 Oh, sure. How do you take it? Black? Couple cubes of "kiss my ass"? 691 00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:49,042 I don't know what's in there, I don't want you to get hurt, so step back. 692 00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:52,628 Kay, for real, man. Open the damn locker. 693 00:52:57,050 --> 00:52:59,635 Kay! He's back! The light giver! 694 00:52:59,802 --> 00:53:02,305 All hail Kay! All hail Kay! 695 00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:06,559 Oh, Kay, can you see By the dawn's early light 696 00:53:06,726 --> 00:53:09,562 You are the man who would be king of the train locker. 697 00:53:09,729 --> 00:53:10,730 Praise Kay! 698 00:53:10,897 --> 00:53:12,231 Oh, good and gentle townfolk of Locker C-18... 699 00:53:12,231 --> 00:53:15,610 Oh, good and gentle townfolk of Locker C-18... 700 00:53:15,777 --> 00:53:19,197 -...did I leave anything here? -Yes. The timekeeper. 701 00:53:19,364 --> 00:53:22,283 Left to illuminate our streets and hearts. 702 00:53:22,450 --> 00:53:26,954 -I've been looking everywhere for this. -Merciful one! The clock tower! 703 00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:29,832 I got y'all, it's cool. Check this out. 704 00:53:29,999 --> 00:53:33,169 Titanium case. Waterproof to over 300 meters. 705 00:53:33,795 --> 00:53:36,506 -That's banging, right? -Who are you, stranger? 706 00:53:37,006 --> 00:53:38,383 Jay. 707 00:53:39,050 --> 00:53:41,219 All hail Jay! All hail Jay! 708 00:53:41,386 --> 00:53:43,721 Oh, Jay, can you see 709 00:53:43,888 --> 00:53:46,974 -Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of-- -Come on. 710 00:53:47,475 --> 00:53:49,644 -Wait! The commandments! -The tablet! 711 00:53:49,811 --> 00:53:52,855 The tablet! The tablet! The tablet! The tablet! 712 00:53:53,022 --> 00:53:57,068 We have lived by its word, and peace has reigned throughout our world. 713 00:53:57,235 --> 00:54:00,655 Pass it on to others! So that they too may be enlightened! 714 00:54:00,822 --> 00:54:02,490 Be kind! Rewind! 715 00:54:02,657 --> 00:54:04,492 Go back, and reconcile your past... 716 00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,328 ...in order to move tranquilly into your future! 717 00:54:07,495 --> 00:54:09,831 Two for one every Wednesday. 718 00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:13,376 Give twice as much as ye receive on our most sacred of days. 719 00:54:13,543 --> 00:54:14,710 Every Wednesday. 720 00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:17,672 Large adult-entertainment section in the back. 721 00:54:17,839 --> 00:54:19,006 Yeah. 722 00:54:21,968 --> 00:54:23,678 That's just nasty. 723 00:54:24,512 --> 00:54:26,764 -What's up with the video card? -I don't know. 724 00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:28,558 -Why leave the watch? -To remind me. 725 00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:29,892 -Of what? -Can't remember. 726 00:54:30,059 --> 00:54:31,060 Guess. 727 00:54:31,227 --> 00:54:35,064 I guess we have till midnight, That's 59 minutes and 37 seconds to figure it out. 728 00:54:37,525 --> 00:54:42,238 Look. Here's an idea. How about we stop chasing butt-backwards clues... 729 00:54:42,405 --> 00:54:45,992 ...go get a couple fission carbonizers and get our headquarters back. 730 00:54:46,159 --> 00:54:48,077 It's all about to make sense, kid. 731 00:54:48,286 --> 00:54:50,163 Is this card valid? 732 00:54:51,873 --> 00:54:55,710 -This card hasn't been used in years. -I've been away on business. 733 00:54:55,877 --> 00:54:58,212 -Billions of frequent-flier miles. -Try and use them. 734 00:54:58,379 --> 00:55:02,341 I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can get a lobster dinner for a dollar. 735 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,719 The airlines said they black out holidays. 736 00:55:04,886 --> 00:55:07,763 You have to stay over a weekend. It's a conspiracy. 737 00:55:07,930 --> 00:55:10,641 -Why would somebody--? -Can you tell us about the account? 738 00:55:11,392 --> 00:55:13,352 Only that you never checked out a tape. 739 00:55:13,519 --> 00:55:16,397 You reserved one once, but you never picked it up. 740 00:55:17,273 --> 00:55:19,817 -Hey, Newton. -There's a huge rat in the toilet. 741 00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:24,238 It's all stopped up. You're gonna have to pee in the sin-- 742 00:55:27,450 --> 00:55:30,411 -Still think I'm paranoid? -Yeah. 743 00:55:31,204 --> 00:55:34,790 Gentlemen, my name is Newton. I run the place. 744 00:55:34,957 --> 00:55:36,667 Seen any aliens lately? 745 00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:40,838 -You need professional help, son. -He's getting it. It's not working. 746 00:55:41,047 --> 00:55:43,466 Okay, so, new case, huh? 747 00:55:43,633 --> 00:55:45,968 "Episode 27, Light of Zartha." 748 00:55:47,595 --> 00:55:48,930 Got it. 749 00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:53,309 Jarra, it's a sin they've kept a genius like you locked away. 750 00:55:53,476 --> 00:55:57,438 Their agent Jay caught me siphoning ozone to sell on the black market. 751 00:55:57,605 --> 00:55:59,565 They're touchy about this global warming. 752 00:55:59,732 --> 00:56:03,569 I need a spacecraft that can travel 300 times the speed of light. 753 00:56:03,736 --> 00:56:07,198 -Do it, I'll give you whatever you want. -Give me Jay. We'll call it even. 754 00:56:07,365 --> 00:56:08,783 Groovy. 755 00:56:08,950 --> 00:56:11,452 You've got till midnight. 756 00:56:15,498 --> 00:56:19,085 Gatbot, I got a little something special for you. 757 00:56:23,422 --> 00:56:26,425 Newton? Newton, is that you? 758 00:56:26,592 --> 00:56:29,095 Yes, Mom, I'm up here with some friends. 759 00:56:29,262 --> 00:56:30,846 I wanna have your baby. 760 00:56:31,013 --> 00:56:33,182 Would you like some mini-pizza? 761 00:56:33,933 --> 00:56:37,770 You guys want some mini-pizzas? They're good. 762 00:56:37,937 --> 00:56:40,523 They're like mini-bagels, with pizza stuff on them. 763 00:56:40,690 --> 00:56:43,401 She'll put a little fontina cheese on. 764 00:56:43,568 --> 00:56:46,487 She has palsy, so she ends up putting a lot of cheese on. 765 00:56:52,076 --> 00:56:54,412 No, thanks. We're cool. 766 00:56:54,579 --> 00:56:56,205 All right. 767 00:56:57,498 --> 00:56:59,500 Over here. 768 00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:05,047 This is it. 769 00:57:05,214 --> 00:57:07,425 -Finally, some hard evidence. -Yes. 770 00:57:07,592 --> 00:57:11,554 Gentlemen, before I play the tape, one question: 771 00:57:12,221 --> 00:57:13,848 What's up with anal probing? 772 00:57:14,015 --> 00:57:17,935 I mean, aliens travel billions of light years just to check out our-- 773 00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:20,354 Boy, move. 774 00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:23,441 Okay. Just a question. 775 00:57:24,483 --> 00:57:28,070 Here is one of their stories that "never happened”... 776 00:57:28,237 --> 00:57:32,742 ...from one of their files that doesn't exist. 777 00:57:33,492 --> 00:57:38,998 1978. Devastating war of Zartha had raged on for 50 years. 778 00:57:39,165 --> 00:57:40,458 Looks like Spielberg's work. 779 00:57:40,625 --> 00:57:44,587 But the Zarthans had a great treasure, the Light of Zartha. 780 00:57:44,754 --> 00:57:47,923 A source of power so awesome, it alone... 781 00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:51,510 ...could mean victory and restoration for the Zarthans... 782 00:57:51,677 --> 00:57:56,390 ...or complete annihilation, if it fell into the hands of the Kylothians. 783 00:57:56,557 --> 00:58:00,686 A group of Zarthans made the journey, led by the Keeper of the Light... 784 00:58:00,853 --> 00:58:02,271 Lauranna. 785 00:58:02,730 --> 00:58:04,857 ...Princess Lauranna. 786 00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:08,944 Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black to help her hide the Light on Earth. 787 00:58:09,111 --> 00:58:12,198 But they could not intervene. 788 00:58:12,365 --> 00:58:14,200 No. 789 00:58:14,367 --> 00:58:15,409 It was night. 790 00:58:17,703 --> 00:58:19,080 And it was raining. 791 00:58:19,789 --> 00:58:21,207 You've been very wise. 792 00:58:21,374 --> 00:58:25,878 Kay, please. If Serleena takes the Light, it's the end of our world. 793 00:58:26,504 --> 00:58:29,924 Madam Ambassador, if we extend protection for the Light beyond Earth... 794 00:58:30,091 --> 00:58:33,427 ...we put Earth in jeopardy. We must remain neutral. 795 00:58:33,594 --> 00:58:36,180 -Where is it? -We're neutral, remember? 796 00:58:36,389 --> 00:58:38,599 If you want it, go get it. 797 00:58:42,812 --> 00:58:44,313 No! 798 00:59:13,467 --> 00:59:15,761 And so never knowing it happened... 799 00:59:15,928 --> 00:59:18,848 ...the people of Earth were once again saved... 800 00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:22,143 ...by a secret society of protectors-- 801 00:59:23,269 --> 00:59:24,937 I shouldn't have. 802 00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:28,315 You never sent it off the planet. 803 00:59:29,442 --> 00:59:30,860 You hid it here. 804 00:59:32,862 --> 00:59:34,280 The worm guys. 805 00:59:38,451 --> 00:59:41,370 Are you one of Newton's friends from group therapy? 806 00:59:41,537 --> 00:59:45,916 -Yes, ma'am, I am. Look here, please. -Would you like some mini-pizz--? 807 00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:48,544 A neuralyz-- 808 00:59:49,587 --> 00:59:53,174 Okay, first, get some contact lenses. 809 00:59:53,340 --> 00:59:55,634 Because...joints look like they can pick up cable. 810 00:59:55,801 --> 01:00:00,389 Second, take her to Cambodia. Get her lobster. Pay more than a dollar. 811 01:00:00,556 --> 01:00:03,517 Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia... 812 01:00:03,684 --> 01:00:07,062 ...move your bum-ass out of your mom's house. 813 01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:09,648 -Let's go. -Boy, you like 40 years old. 814 01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:12,234 -Agent Jay? -All right, all right. 815 01:00:12,401 --> 01:00:16,238 And there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black. 816 01:00:22,495 --> 01:00:25,706 -You wanna go to Cambodia? -Yeah. 817 01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:29,627 Hey, Mom? 818 01:00:29,794 --> 01:00:31,921 Communicator, Jay. 819 01:00:32,797 --> 01:00:35,591 -Laura, it's me. -Jay, we're playing Twister. 820 01:00:35,758 --> 01:00:37,551 What's up, Jay? 821 01:00:37,718 --> 01:00:41,013 -Quit touching my butt! -Sorry. I thought it was your face. 822 01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:44,225 They're really good at this. They don't have any spines. 823 01:00:44,391 --> 01:00:47,353 They were telling me about Oprah, from Chicago. 824 01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:50,731 Maybe landed in Chicago. 825 01:00:51,273 --> 01:00:53,859 -Are you wearing a bracelet? -Yeah. 826 01:00:54,026 --> 01:00:55,069 Is it glowing? 827 01:01:00,241 --> 01:01:03,202 -It's never done that before. -We're on our way. 828 01:01:03,369 --> 01:01:04,912 Communicator, Frank. 829 01:01:05,079 --> 01:01:07,331 Frank, get down to sub-control level C. 830 01:01:07,498 --> 01:01:10,793 Deactivate lockdown. We're headed to the worm guys. We found the Light. 831 01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,587 Got it, Jay. Scrad? 832 01:01:13,754 --> 01:01:14,964 Bitch. 833 01:01:15,130 --> 01:01:17,091 Why didn't you say "Il love you"? 834 01:01:17,258 --> 01:01:20,845 -He's a dog. I don't even like him. -No, the girl. You're sweet on her. 835 01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:23,639 -Hey, Kay-- -That's why you didn't neuralyze her. 836 01:01:23,806 --> 01:01:25,224 You got emotionally involved. 837 01:01:25,391 --> 01:01:29,895 -Like you did with Lauranna? -I put the entire planet in danger. 838 01:01:30,062 --> 01:01:33,315 I don't wanna see you making my mistakes. 839 01:01:33,482 --> 01:01:34,984 Whatever, man. 840 01:01:39,238 --> 01:01:40,865 Laura? 841 01:01:47,705 --> 01:01:49,331 Damn! 842 01:01:53,085 --> 01:01:55,004 Never stood half a chance. 843 01:01:56,297 --> 01:01:57,298 Oh, boy. 844 01:01:58,424 --> 01:01:59,717 That's gonna leave a scar. 845 01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:03,762 -Where's Laura? -MiB headquarters. 846 01:02:03,929 --> 01:02:06,765 -Some dumb two-headed guy. -They got the bracelet. 847 01:02:06,932 --> 01:02:09,977 We got 39 minutes. You guys... 848 01:02:10,144 --> 01:02:12,271 ...pull yourselves together. 849 01:02:13,105 --> 01:02:14,148 Damn. 850 01:02:15,524 --> 01:02:17,610 That's feeling better. 851 01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:20,487 -Hey, guys, wait up! -Let me grab my drink! 852 01:02:20,654 --> 01:02:22,656 Serleena has the bracelet. Why take Laura? 853 01:02:22,823 --> 01:02:24,033 She also wants me. 854 01:02:24,199 --> 01:02:27,369 -What's the book say? -We're off book. I say split some wigs. 855 01:02:27,536 --> 01:02:29,830 -We need wig-splitting weapons. -Got them. 856 01:02:35,461 --> 01:02:38,464 Paw Paw's coming to visit me. Hello, Paw Paw. 857 01:02:38,631 --> 01:02:41,675 Paw Paw and ZuZu love to see what's going on in the garden. 858 01:02:41,842 --> 01:02:46,180 Don't worry, folks. I used to live here. Came to pick up a few things. 859 01:02:50,142 --> 01:02:52,144 Nice place. 860 01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:05,908 See you. 861 01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:18,170 You did not see a room full of shiny weapons or four aliens. 862 01:03:18,337 --> 01:03:21,048 You will cherish and love each other for the rest of your lives. 863 01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:25,219 Which could be the next 27 or 28 minutes, so get to loving and cherishing. 864 01:03:25,386 --> 01:03:28,097 And she can stay up as late as she want and have cookies... 865 01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:30,849 ...and candy and cakes and junk and stuff. 866 01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,946 Four minutes to launch. 867 01:03:44,113 --> 01:03:46,031 Four minutes to launch. 868 01:03:46,740 --> 01:03:50,661 -Your ship is ready. -Good. Send it to Kyloth now. 869 01:03:54,123 --> 01:03:55,374 Ready, guys? 870 01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:57,751 Lock and load, baby. 871 01:03:57,918 --> 01:03:59,461 -You ready, kid? -"Kid"? 872 01:03:59,628 --> 01:04:03,048 While you were licking stamps, I saved the world from a Kreelon invasion. 873 01:04:03,215 --> 01:04:07,011 They're the Backstreet Boys of the universe. They throw snowballs? 874 01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:09,388 -You know what you're doing? -Yep. 875 01:04:09,555 --> 01:04:12,057 I'm about to attack one of the most-feared aliens... 876 01:04:12,224 --> 01:04:14,268 ...with four worms and a mailman. 877 01:04:14,727 --> 01:04:17,354 -Let's make it hot. -No, no, wait! 878 01:04:23,152 --> 01:04:25,446 A code-101 lockdown! 879 01:04:25,612 --> 01:04:29,658 I know. The building gets pressurized. Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that. 880 01:04:29,825 --> 01:04:31,869 Yeah, you knew. Front and center, worms! 881 01:04:32,036 --> 01:04:33,328 You got it. 882 01:04:40,335 --> 01:04:41,920 It's about time you guys got here. 883 01:04:42,087 --> 01:04:45,382 That pretty lady in there is causing all kinds of hell. 884 01:05:05,444 --> 01:05:09,114 Oh, yummy. Someone I need to eat. 885 01:05:09,281 --> 01:05:11,909 Get to the launch pad. The bracelet shows the departure point. 886 01:05:12,076 --> 01:05:15,370 -No matter what, do not come back for me. -What do you mean? 887 01:05:15,537 --> 01:05:18,248 Do not come back for me. 888 01:05:22,503 --> 01:05:26,507 -Worm guys, give me some cover fire. -Too scared, can't move. 889 01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:37,476 Go! 890 01:05:48,153 --> 01:05:51,115 -Limber. -Go to subcontrol panel 7-R-Delta. 891 01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:55,661 -Shut off power so they can't take off. -Can't. Too scared. 892 01:05:57,746 --> 01:06:00,374 -Oh, that way. -Away from the bullets. 893 01:06:00,541 --> 01:06:02,000 No problem. 894 01:06:16,807 --> 01:06:18,600 Nice to see you again, Kay. 895 01:06:22,980 --> 01:06:24,898 -Three minutes to launch. -Jay! 896 01:06:25,065 --> 01:06:26,275 Three minutes to launch. 897 01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:29,361 Hello, Jay. Long time. 898 01:06:29,528 --> 01:06:32,030 Jarra! What's up, man? Wow, you look great. 899 01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:34,825 -What's it been? Five years? -And 42 days, thanks to you. 900 01:06:34,992 --> 01:06:37,411 You count every one when you're locked away. 901 01:06:37,578 --> 01:06:41,707 You shouldn't have tried to steal our ozone. Be there in one minute. 902 01:06:42,624 --> 01:06:44,459 Over our dead titanium bodies! 903 01:06:45,502 --> 01:06:47,004 Two minutes. 904 01:06:54,052 --> 01:06:55,470 Let's play this one by ear. 905 01:06:58,223 --> 01:07:00,434 I should've vaporized you when I had the chance. 906 01:07:00,601 --> 01:07:02,436 You really did love Lauranna. 907 01:07:02,603 --> 01:07:03,812 Didn't you, Kay? 908 01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:06,940 You silly little man. 909 01:07:35,219 --> 01:07:37,221 Two minutes to launch. 910 01:07:39,097 --> 01:07:40,557 Just go, I'll be fine! 911 01:07:41,475 --> 01:07:43,894 What you talking about, girl? I'm winning. 912 01:07:44,061 --> 01:07:48,190 Jarra, you are under arrest for being that ugly... 913 01:07:48,357 --> 01:07:51,068 ...and for making that many copies. Now surrender! 914 01:07:51,235 --> 01:07:53,195 I want him in pieces. 915 01:07:55,781 --> 01:07:58,116 Jarra Jr. is going, going... 916 01:07:58,867 --> 01:08:00,661 ...gone! 917 01:08:13,298 --> 01:08:15,926 -Rectum. -Damn near killed him! 918 01:08:16,093 --> 01:08:17,928 -Never get tired of that one. -I'll say. 919 01:08:18,095 --> 01:08:20,597 -Guys, where do we shut off the power? -I don't know. 920 01:08:26,728 --> 01:08:30,524 -Laura, I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute. -No, he won't. 921 01:08:36,738 --> 01:08:38,115 Down to one now, Jarra! 922 01:08:48,333 --> 01:08:50,961 Thirty seconds to launch. 923 01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:01,680 Fifteen seconds to launch. 924 01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:06,351 Ten seconds to launch. 925 01:09:06,518 --> 01:09:07,686 Eight... 926 01:09:07,853 --> 01:09:09,354 ...seven... 927 01:09:09,521 --> 01:09:10,689 ...SiX... 928 01:09:10,856 --> 01:09:12,357 ...five... 929 01:09:12,524 --> 01:09:13,692 ...four... 930 01:09:13,859 --> 01:09:14,985 ...three... 931 01:09:15,152 --> 01:09:16,570 ...two-- 932 01:09:17,738 --> 01:09:19,948 Launch terminated. 933 01:09:20,115 --> 01:09:22,117 What did you mean, "leave you"? I never run from a fight. 934 01:09:22,284 --> 01:09:23,702 -Well, he took your gun. -Yeah. 935 01:09:23,869 --> 01:09:26,621 Cracked your head. Slammed you across the room. 936 01:09:26,788 --> 01:09:30,876 -Half the time, you were on your back. -Look, that's how I fight. 937 01:09:31,585 --> 01:09:32,044 You've lost, you insignificant speck. 938 01:09:32,044 --> 01:09:34,046 You've lost, you insignificant speck. 939 01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:37,299 You've wasted 25 years of my time, and for what? 940 01:09:37,466 --> 01:09:41,553 The total annihilation of Zartha. All because you went mushy. 941 01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:45,891 I'll give you one last chance to surrender, you slimy invertebrate. 942 01:09:46,058 --> 01:09:49,561 -What are you gonna do to stop me? -Not me. Him. 943 01:09:51,730 --> 01:09:53,690 Your flight's been canceled. 944 01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:05,160 Shut down power. Shut down power. Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing.... 945 01:10:05,327 --> 01:10:06,370 Yeah. 946 01:10:08,288 --> 01:10:10,916 -Worms! -Sorry. 947 01:10:15,796 --> 01:10:18,215 -Give me the bracelet. Please? -I'm going with you. 948 01:10:18,382 --> 01:10:21,009 -Everybody in the car. Everybody. -I don't think she-- 949 01:10:34,523 --> 01:10:37,442 I can't believe this bracelet is what everybody's been after? 950 01:10:37,609 --> 01:10:39,361 It's often something small like that. 951 01:10:39,528 --> 01:10:41,029 It's not the Light. 952 01:10:41,196 --> 01:10:43,115 -It tells us the departure point. -What? 953 01:10:43,281 --> 01:10:46,159 If we don't get there in 11 minutes and 15 seconds... 954 01:10:46,326 --> 01:10:48,870 ...that bracelet's gonna go nuclear and destroy Earth. 955 01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:50,414 What? 956 01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:52,582 Hello. 957 01:10:53,083 --> 01:10:55,544 -Wait, Kay, no. Kay, no. -I know what I'm doing. 958 01:11:10,142 --> 01:11:11,768 Damn. 959 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:15,897 -Modified to hyper-speed! -Seat belts. 960 01:11:19,401 --> 01:11:20,402 What's that? 961 01:11:20,569 --> 01:11:24,030 At hyper-speed, you have to use the navigational stalk. 962 01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:31,705 Toggle switches for the ailerons. Joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder. 963 01:11:32,372 --> 01:11:34,166 Okay. 964 01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:39,504 I just want you to know-- 965 01:11:39,671 --> 01:11:42,549 You know what? Hold on to that for me for one second. 966 01:11:45,469 --> 01:11:47,137 Computer, worms. 967 01:11:47,304 --> 01:11:51,725 So I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me to kick your skinny Zone Diet ass... 968 01:11:52,476 --> 01:11:56,354 -...turn around and exit the planet." -Frank, where are you? 969 01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:57,981 Main hall, egg display. 970 01:11:58,148 --> 01:12:01,026 Lost control. We're taking fire. Kay pushed the red button. 971 01:12:01,193 --> 01:12:05,030 Computer at MiB can destroy bogey. I'll walk you through it. 972 01:12:07,115 --> 01:12:11,912 Jay? Frank. You were the best darn partner a Remoolian could ever have. 973 01:12:12,621 --> 01:12:14,331 Godspeed. 974 01:12:15,457 --> 01:12:16,500 Frank? Frank? 975 01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:20,253 -Frank? -Okay, here we go, automatic pilot. 976 01:12:22,506 --> 01:12:25,634 -It is not automatic piloting. -He doesn't operate at hyper-speed. 977 01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:30,222 -I could really use a steering wheel here! -We don't have one. This is what we got. 978 01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:34,976 -Didn't you ever have a Game Boy? -What is a Game Boy? 979 01:12:35,143 --> 01:12:37,604 -You know what? Move. Move. -Okay. 980 01:12:37,854 --> 01:12:40,273 Oh, hey. That is not the navigational stalk! 981 01:12:52,202 --> 01:12:54,496 Okay, straight down. 982 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,585 Idiots. 983 01:13:10,512 --> 01:13:12,931 Subway may not be the best place to lose her. 984 01:13:15,308 --> 01:13:17,102 -Where is he? "He"? 985 01:13:17,269 --> 01:13:18,770 Jeff. Hang on! 986 01:13:23,108 --> 01:13:24,568 Teeth. 987 01:13:58,226 --> 01:14:01,354 Running out of time, Kay. Where is the Light? 988 01:14:02,439 --> 01:14:03,648 Right here. 989 01:14:05,025 --> 01:14:07,319 -What? -What, I'm the Light? 990 01:14:08,278 --> 01:14:10,905 -No. No way. -You have a planet to save. Laura. 991 01:14:11,072 --> 01:14:13,783 You've got me confused with somebody. I work part-time at a pizzeria. 992 01:14:13,950 --> 01:14:17,579 Two days ago, I was running a post office. You are who you are. 993 01:14:17,746 --> 01:14:20,915 Laura, you are the Light. 994 01:14:21,583 --> 01:14:24,836 The leader of your people. Their spirit and their hope. 995 01:14:25,003 --> 01:14:27,714 The power is within you to save a planet. 996 01:14:27,881 --> 01:14:32,677 I protected you until it was your time. Your time is now. 997 01:14:36,473 --> 01:14:37,932 You are going to save a world. 998 01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:40,393 -I can't be-- -You know things before they happen. 999 01:14:40,560 --> 01:14:42,687 -I'm a Libra. -You're Zarthan. 1000 01:14:42,854 --> 01:14:46,983 -When you get sad, it rains. -Lots of people get sad when it rains. 1001 01:14:47,359 --> 01:14:49,986 It rains because you're sad, baby. 1002 01:15:43,331 --> 01:15:44,916 It's not fair. 1003 01:15:50,755 --> 01:15:52,465 Never is. 1004 01:15:54,092 --> 01:15:55,677 We are who we are... 1005 01:15:55,844 --> 01:15:58,388 ...even if we sometimes forget. 1006 01:16:07,647 --> 01:16:10,024 Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you! 1007 01:16:10,483 --> 01:16:12,360 Get back in the subway right now! 1008 01:16:18,658 --> 01:16:20,118 That's not good. 1009 01:16:21,870 --> 01:16:23,621 Wait! No! 1010 01:16:24,914 --> 01:16:26,374 Jay! 1011 01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:31,379 I cannot emphasize strongly enough how much we need you on that transport. 1012 01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:35,133 Laura, you have to go! 1013 01:16:35,467 --> 01:16:37,010 Oh, jeez. 1014 01:16:38,762 --> 01:16:41,681 Go. He's fine. He does this all the time. 1015 01:16:42,640 --> 01:16:44,225 Nope! 1016 01:16:46,227 --> 01:16:49,314 About to lay the smackdown on your candy ass. 1017 01:16:49,481 --> 01:16:52,066 Laura, it's your destiny! 1018 01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:54,235 I was talking, Kay! 1019 01:16:55,653 --> 01:16:58,531 Hey! No biting. 1020 01:16:59,699 --> 01:17:00,992 If you don't go, we all die. 1021 01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:07,415 You're just as beautiful as your mother. 1022 01:17:14,547 --> 01:17:17,425 Kay? A little help? 1023 01:17:29,020 --> 01:17:30,230 Kay? 1024 01:17:32,106 --> 01:17:34,609 Might I suggest a bigger gun? 1025 01:18:01,052 --> 01:18:02,846 -Kid? -Yeah. 1026 01:18:03,304 --> 01:18:06,474 -Thanks for bringing me back. -No problem. 1027 01:18:07,058 --> 01:18:08,268 Why didn't you tell me? 1028 01:18:08,768 --> 01:18:09,978 Would you have let her go? 1029 01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:36,337 So, what's it like on the outside? Not doing this every day? 1030 01:18:36,504 --> 01:18:37,922 It's nice. 1031 01:18:38,089 --> 01:18:41,926 Sleep late on the weekends. Watch the Weather Channel. 1032 01:18:45,346 --> 01:18:47,515 I did miss this city. 1033 01:18:48,850 --> 01:18:52,270 So Laura is Princess Lauranna's daughter. 1034 01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,609 -Did y'all--? -MiB is a mess. Let's go, kid. 1035 01:18:58,443 --> 01:18:59,652 "Let's go"? 1036 01:18:59,819 --> 01:19:03,656 Thousands of people in New York and New Jersey just saw our little event. 1037 01:19:03,823 --> 01:19:06,951 Plan needs to be thought out. Plan needs to be cool. 1038 01:19:07,118 --> 01:19:08,536 What you--? 1039 01:19:13,291 --> 01:19:15,293 Kid, I'll get you trained yet. 1040 01:19:15,460 --> 01:19:17,003 I want one of those. 1041 01:19:17,170 --> 01:19:18,546 Damn! 1042 01:19:23,259 --> 01:19:24,469 -Hey. -Hey. 1043 01:19:24,636 --> 01:19:27,055 -How you doing? Good. -I'm good, man. 1044 01:19:27,221 --> 01:19:31,768 We've all been there, kid. The girl is gone, and it hurts. You wanna talk? 1045 01:19:31,935 --> 01:19:33,478 -No. -l can help. 1046 01:19:33,645 --> 01:19:34,687 No. 1047 01:19:34,854 --> 01:19:35,897 Still sulking? 1048 01:19:36,064 --> 01:19:37,148 -No. -Yeah. 1049 01:19:37,315 --> 01:19:41,444 Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of us. There was a hot young thing I knew once. 1050 01:19:41,611 --> 01:19:45,239 When our bodies were entwined in the positions of the Kama Sutra-- 1051 01:19:45,406 --> 01:19:46,699 Zed! 1052 01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:48,952 Come on, man! Damn! 1053 01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:51,120 Jay, I'll tell you something about dames. 1054 01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:54,791 They say they want to be scratched, but they really want is: 1055 01:19:54,958 --> 01:19:56,668 Hey, Frank. 1056 01:19:56,834 --> 01:19:59,420 What? Still sitting shiva? Want my advice? 1057 01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,130 No. No advice. 1058 01:20:01,714 --> 01:20:02,715 No talking. 1059 01:20:03,883 --> 01:20:04,884 Hell, no. 1060 01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:08,262 Fellas, I swear, I'm fine. 1061 01:20:08,888 --> 01:20:11,891 All hail Jay! All hail Jay! 1062 01:20:12,433 --> 01:20:15,979 -I brought them from Grand Central. -Why you put them rats in my locker? 1063 01:20:16,145 --> 01:20:18,439 I thought it would put things in perspective. 1064 01:20:18,606 --> 01:20:21,442 Kay, it's actually kind of sad. We need to let them out. 1065 01:20:21,609 --> 01:20:23,695 I mean, they need to know the world is bigger than that. 1066 01:20:25,029 --> 01:20:26,406 Still a rookie.