1 00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:07,570 South Park Season 13 Episode 1: The Ring 2 00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,410 Would you look at that? 3 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,400 It's just incredible, isn't it? 4 00:00:41,980 --> 00:00:43,460 I still can't believe it! 5 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,350 Even know it's right there in front of me. 6 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,160 Yeah, it's just so... astounding! 7 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,890 Well believe it, friends. The impossible has happened. 8 00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:53,980 Kenny has a girlfriend. 9 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:56,520 Yeah, a 5-grade girlfriend. 10 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,250 This is serious. They been going out for almost two weeks now. 11 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,800 S-so, w-who is she? 12 00:01:00,910 --> 00:01:05,330 She's name a Tammy Warner. She's the only girl in school who's family is actually poorer than Kenny's. 13 00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:08,470 It's really kind of beautiful, if you'll ask me. 14 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,300 You, guys! You, guys, I think we have a big problem! 15 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:12,090 What? 16 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:16,070 Well, apparently Kenny has a girlfriend! 17 00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:17,920 Yeah dude, Tammy Warner, she is a fifth-grader. 18 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:19,700 Does Kenny like her? 19 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:22,340 I guess so, she's like his first will girlfriend ever. 20 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,210 Oh no, oh geez! 21 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,410 Butters, what's the problem? 22 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,990 I've just talked to Brian Dickson. Tammy Warner is bad news. 23 00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:30,870 All the 5-graders call her a slut. 24 00:01:30,930 --> 00:01:35,330 One of a kind she gave this kid Dorski a BJ in a parking lot of TGI Fridays. 25 00:01:35,790 --> 00:01:36,760 What? 26 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,810 It's true! Ask anybody at 5-th grade! 27 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,350 Tammy Warner is a total slut! 28 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:41,920 That bitch! 29 00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:44,990 Kenny's gave his heart to her and she just gonna throw it in face. 30 00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:46,670 Well, Kenny deserves to know, fellas. 31 00:01:46,730 --> 00:01:50,970 If you guys found up my girlfriend was a raging whore I'd want you t-to tell me. 32 00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:55,000 All right... come on, guys. 33 00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:59,020 Hey, Jimmy. What's a BJ? 34 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,890 So anyway I passed him note but then Johny got to... 35 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,930 Kenny, hey, hey, Kenny! 36 00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:04,940 Oh, hello. 37 00:02:05,670 --> 00:02:08,410 Listen, Kenny. We need to talk about your new friend. 38 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,250 Let it go! 39 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:14,670 Oh, boy... Kenny, we know you really like this girl, but... 40 00:02:15,410 --> 00:02:16,530 But what? 41 00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:19,480 Well... we've heard that she's... 42 00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:24,120 Kenny! Your girl is a notorious whore. 43 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:28,720 She even gave a kid named Dorsky a BJ in a parking lot of TGI Fridays. 44 00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:31,730 Ah? - Your girlfriend is a slut, dude. 45 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,650 He took it pretty well. 46 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,300 - Hi Tammy! - Hi, Ken. 47 00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:47,050 You decided what you wanna do after school? 48 00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:49,350 Do you want to go to TGI Fridays? 49 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:50,840 TGI Fridays? 50 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,350 Looks like a good thing. 51 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,710 Yeah. Okay. But... 52 00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,780 Kenny, listen. 53 00:02:57,910 --> 00:02:59,810 There's something I need to tell you about. 54 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,830 There's a lot of rumours going around about me. 55 00:03:01,870 --> 00:03:03,760 That I agreed to give a boy a BJ. 56 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,400 Well, It's true. 57 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:10,080 But it was before you and I were together and it wasn't my fault. 58 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,580 See, I was watching a Disney channel. 59 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,930 And that show came on, with the Jonas Brothers. 60 00:03:15,190 --> 00:03:16,320 Jonas Brothers? 61 00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:18,340 You know that teenage boy band? 62 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:21,170 Every time I see them I get so... tingly. 63 00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,040 I just completely loose control. 64 00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:26,350 And then Dave Dorsky showed up and took me to the TGI Fridays. 65 00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:28,280 And... It just happened. 66 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,480 But it was only for one second and I had my eyes closed. 67 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,480 I know it's terrible. 68 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,640 Can you... can you forgive me, Ken? 69 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:45,910 There you are, young man. Two tickets to the Jonas Brothers concert. 70 00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:47,340 Thanks! 71 00:03:48,290 --> 00:03:51,030 The Jonas Brothers? Dude, Kenny, what the hell is wrong with you? 72 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,940 I thought those queers were on the Disney channel. 73 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,820 I think if i bring her there I'll get a BJ. 74 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,110 A BJ? You want Tammy to give you a BJ? 75 00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,500 Of course, dude! 76 00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:03,040 Kenny! You gonna let a girl put a mouth on your wiener? 77 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:04,870 Do you know how disgusting that is? 78 00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,620 Girl's mouths are full of germs! 79 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,930 Yeah, dude, that's gross. 80 00:04:07,970 --> 00:04:09,590 Okay, I'll use a protection. 81 00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,010 What kind of protection? 82 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,900 Would you give me a condom, please? 83 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:16,010 Boxed condom? Certainly, little boy. 84 00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:17,490 What kind would you like? 85 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,270 I'll take one of these. 86 00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:21,290 These here? Certainly. 87 00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,660 Cool! 88 00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:26,900 Kenny, aren't you a little too young for this? 89 00:04:26,940 --> 00:04:28,770 Unaudible BJ! 90 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:31,300 Just because you've got condoms doesn't mean you're safe, Kenny. 91 00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:34,520 Statistically speaking, the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet 92 00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:36,180 is the mouth of the american women. 93 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,840 And you gonna let that to your pennis? 94 00:04:37,890 --> 00:04:39,480 Yep. 95 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:43,450 THE DENVER PEPSI CENTER THE JONAS BROTHERS LIVE - TONIGHT 96 00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:49,680 You better run! 97 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,460 Kenny, you're the best for bringing me here. 98 00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:53,210 Isn't this awesome? 99 00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:06,210 I'm ready to get it on. 100 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:10,450 There's no getting on, so I'm ready. 101 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,520 Too soon 102 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,720 Slow down 103 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,830 - Take it easy, young girl - My jina tickles 104 00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:19,660 I need your love, baby! 105 00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:23,090 - Can we do the day I kiss you - Oh my god, it's start tingling again! 106 00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:27,220 Until then I have to tease you. 107 00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:31,330 - 'Cos my mom doesn't like it way i love it - I love you! 108 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:36,200 She'll make me clean my broom if i'm naughty, baby! 109 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,050 - I'm high... - He's high... 110 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:41,940 Tell me how was that in love... 111 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:46,000 You'll take your love and go... 112 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:52,380 Was it 'cos I wanted to wait till we were married to put my arm around you? 113 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,960 Seasons change, baby. 114 00:05:56,030 --> 00:05:57,840 And the world goes around you (round, round)... 115 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,720 Yeah yeah I'm gonna take my time, 116 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:05,300 Can't wait till you were mine but it might be away, 'cos... 117 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,480 Yeah, yeah, girl, we can take it slow, 118 00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:09,290 So we have room to grow, 119 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,290 - And so all day we can do a love! -Ah, ah, do a love. 120 00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:14,310 You're so hot, Kevin, I love you too! 121 00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:17,720 Until then, go back to Montreal. 122 00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:24,410 - 'Cos I still love you, baby... - Love you, baby! Baby! 123 00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:28,920 Good night, Denver, we love you all! 124 00:06:28,950 --> 00:06:30,530 We love you, Denver! 125 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,360 Good night! 126 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,280 Oh my god! I'm so worked up. 127 00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,140 I just want to attack you, Kenny! 128 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,540 All right! (Inaudible) 129 00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:48,610 And are you two, little girl in the red. 130 00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:52,030 Ben want you to come backstage. 131 00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:54,700 You too, little girl with a puppy t-shirt. 132 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:58,700 They want me to come backstage? Oh my god! 133 00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:00,590 But, we have to do another thing! 134 00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,110 It's a dream come true! 135 00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:03,450 Hey!! 136 00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:05,910 All right, right this way, girls. 137 00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,400 Yeah, come on in everyone. The Ben is waiting for you. 138 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,290 Oh, not you. 139 00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:11,860 Oh, fuck you, I got to inaudible tickle 140 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,390 THE JONAS BROTHERS 141 00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:15,510 Hey, (inaudible) 142 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:18,310 Jonas Brothers would be right out, girls. 143 00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:20,340 Why do you think they call us back here? 144 00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:22,890 That must of ones to have sex with us. 145 00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:24,500 What? You think so? 146 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:25,950 Sure, they're band. 147 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,960 They called us back here so we can give 'em blowjobs. 148 00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:30,150 Well, I'm not doing it. 149 00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:32,110 Just because they are a rockstars that doesn't mean I'll do that. 150 00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:34,080 Yeah, I'm not giving a blowjob to anybody! 151 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,410 Me neither. 152 00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:37,120 Here we are, girls! 153 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,610 Hey, listen. We saw ya up in the audience. 154 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,210 Yeah, you're all get a little crazy up there. 155 00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:46,910 Let's start to get to the blowjobs. 156 00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,880 Blow-what? 157 00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:49,850 I don't know. 158 00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:53,540 Look, we called you back here 'cos we want to share a love of Christ with you. 159 00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:56,120 And see if you wear a purity rings from now on. 160 00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:57,590 Purity rings? 161 00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,330 We're all wear purity rings. 162 00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:03,140 It means we're all going to be pure, not having sex untill we married. 163 00:08:03,170 --> 00:08:07,790 And It means we stay away from bad stuff and avoid ppl who swear and watch naughty TV shows. 164 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,560 That's just how we roll. 165 00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:11,350 - Yeah! - Yeah! 166 00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:13,520 So what are you say, girls. 167 00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:17,440 You want to be kid hipsters like us and wear purity rings too? 168 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,790 Okay. 169 00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:21,470 And be sure you give a ring to other kids you care about, 170 00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:24,010 'cos it's the new hip way to roll. 171 00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:27,420 SOUTH PARK 172 00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:31,650 Well, well, well... 173 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:35,070 Here he comes. It's a BJ McKey and his best friend bear. 174 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,250 So how to go last night? 175 00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,550 - What's that? - A purity ring. 176 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,790 - Purity ring? - Yeah, It's a purity ring. 177 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:49,490 W-what that does mean? 178 00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:52,740 - It means ... BJ. 179 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,370 Dude, you? Without you really wanted to have a BJ you got to old and... 180 00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:59,340 (Inaudible) 181 00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:00,970 All right, all right Kenny, calm down! 182 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:03,170 You're too young to be getting BJ's anyway! 183 00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:06,980 It's good you and Tammy ... each other that doesn't based on sex! 184 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,830 Yeah! 185 00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:15,940 (Inaudible) 186 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,340 Fellas, hey, fellas! 187 00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:29,240 I've heard that Kenny is still going out with that slut Tammy Warner! 188 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,480 Yeah, but it's okay, Butters, they wear purity rings now. 189 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,390 W-what's that? 190 00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:36,100 The rings that says they not gonna have sex or doing anything naughty anymore. 191 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:41,330 A ring that says you'll be together but not have sex... 192 00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:44,030 Isn't that called the wedding ring? 193 00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:52,060 I've got a ring on my finger to remind me what I cannot do. 194 00:09:54,310 --> 00:09:59,100 Can't just do whatever I feel like I've got to stay right just and true. 195 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,690 I can't hang out with my buddies and getting into trouble, 196 00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:07,960 'cos now we're both wearing these rings for each other, 197 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,090 But who needs sex in trade of partying, 198 00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:15,290 When we can cook a meal then sit around and watch Netflicks. 199 00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:17,290 Baby! 200 00:10:18,990 --> 00:10:23,980 I've got a ring on my finger to remind me that I must behave, 201 00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:30,160 No need to chase after girls it's the promise I can never break. 202 00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:36,080 I made a commitment I need this forever, 203 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:39,540 So we can spend every waking minute together, 204 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:42,740 And If we get bored, won't be a problem, 205 00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:46,910 'Cos we can just hang out with other couples who wear these rings... 206 00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:48,380 Baby! 207 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:51,110 Yeah, we've found out that once you wear purity rings, 208 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,990 it's best to hang out with other couples that do. 209 00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:55,440 Got more in common, isn't that right, Vera? 210 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,840 You know, what Carol and I really enjoy, is Grey's Anatomy. 211 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,890 We love Grey's Anatomy, don't we, Carol? 212 00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:02,650 We adore Gray's Anatomy, don't we, Nancy? 213 00:11:02,650 --> 00:11:03,690 Adore it! 214 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,990 Ken, you and Tammy, do you watch Grey's Anatomy? 215 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:10,290 We like ... all we a clone! 216 00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:13,420 Sure, yes. ... 217 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:18,250 I got a ring on my finger to remind me what I cannot do. 218 00:11:18,450 --> 00:11:22,330 Babe... Babe Baby! Baby! 219 00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:27,750 JONAS BROTHERS "I'VE GOT A RING" WALT DISNEY PRODUCTIONS 220 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,560 And... cut! Great video shoot, guys! 221 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,190 This is bull fockey! 222 00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:35,830 Yeah, we've had it, gosh darn it! 223 00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:38,500 Uh-oh. Looks like we've got a problem. 224 00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,420 Our decision is final! 225 00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:45,550 We've decided, as a band, not to wear purity rings anymore! 226 00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:46,960 Yeah, you tell them, Joe. 227 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,350 Boys, I know you're tired. But the purity rings are important for the company's image! 228 00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:53,350 We don't care about the company! 229 00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:56,330 And you gonna say that to the boss's face? 230 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,160 We are... we are not afraid of him. 231 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,230 Yeah, I hope you're right, because the boss is on his way here. 232 00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:04,470 Now! Oh Jesus, he's here, boss is here! 233 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,110 Let's be strong, guys. 234 00:12:06,110 --> 00:12:08,820 Hello, sir. How was your trip? 235 00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:12,660 What's all is I'm here about not wearing the purity rings? 236 00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:14,990 Ah... we'll just leave you alone. 237 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,560 So... I guess we have some issues? 238 00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:20,360 We... need to talk about something. 239 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,780 Oh, boy! 240 00:12:21,780 --> 00:12:27,140 I just love flying all the way to Colorado to hear about your problems! 241 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:30,030 Look, we just wanna a concert skip about music. 242 00:12:30,030 --> 00:12:31,720 And not about purity rings. 243 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,860 Oh, gosh, fellas. Let me explain that to you one more time. 244 00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:42,150 You have to wear the purity rings, because that's how we can sell sex to little girls. 245 00:12:42,150 --> 00:12:46,300 See, if we make the posters with little girls reaching for your junk, 246 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:51,420 then you have to wear purity rings, or else Disney company looks bad. 247 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,460 But we don't want to be selling sex to little girls anymore! 248 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:56,600 Rings stay on! 249 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:01,060 Well... well... maybe we'll just refuse to go on stage! 250 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:07,310 You don't f... talk to me like that! 251 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:10,200 You little piece of sh... 252 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,420 Get the f... off. Get the f... out, ha. 253 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,240 Now, do we have a problem? 254 00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:24,250 No sir, no mister mouse. No, mister mouse. 255 00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:27,500 Oh, that's good, 'cos I thought we've got a problem for a minute here. 256 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:30,770 All right, now get out of there and make me some god damn money! 257 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:34,620 DVD SALE 20% OFF 258 00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,770 Yep, he is in here. 259 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,400 Dude, what are you doing here? 260 00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:41,690 This is the day we're supposed to throw ... together. 261 00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:43,710 We've had just about enough, dude. 262 00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:46,170 You've been blowing a suffer two weeks, now what's up? 263 00:13:46,170 --> 00:13:49,300 (Inaudible) 264 00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:52,180 Grey's Anatomy? Kenny! 265 00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:54,430 What kind of douchebag garbage are you watching? 266 00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:57,830 Come on, Kenny, this isn't you. We want you back, dude. 267 00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:02,240 Kenny... Kenny... Kenny? Where are you looking, playboy? 268 00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:04,940 Wanna get high sniffing pain? Kenny? 269 00:14:04,950 --> 00:14:07,070 You want your Grey's Anatomy back, Kenny? 270 00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:13,120 (Inaudible) 271 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:16,460 You guys, I think this is serious. There's something is really wrong with him. 272 00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,780 It's not ring! 273 00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:21,150 Somehow putting on that ring is turned Kenny into a boring turd! 274 00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:24,230 Oh my god, look at this! Motherf...! 275 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:24,920 What? 276 00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:25,780 TEEN POP 277 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,350 Jonas Brothers Talk music, faith in god and purity rings. 278 00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:32,600 This Disney, douchebag, and it's one cause of all this. 279 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,060 Yeah, this all happened a day after he was on their concert. 280 00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:38,380 Okay, come on guys. We're not sitting back and watching our friend die. 281 00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:43,990 Hold tight, buddy. We gonna find a cure for you. 282 00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:51,840 GOOD MORNIN' DENVER 283 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:55,770 We're join this morning by a Disney supergroup... 284 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,140 The Jonas Brothers. Hello, boys! 285 00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:00,010 Hello! 286 00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:03,300 Now tell us what are you doing in Denver, guys. 287 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,950 We're gonna be doing a live concert from a Red Rocks tonight, 288 00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:08,300 that would be a live broadcast on a Disney channel. 289 00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:10,900 And 3-D. Don't forget to mention 3-D! 290 00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:13,080 Oh, and it's gonna be in 3-D. 291 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,770 Now lots of guesses were made about your purity rings. 292 00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:19,770 Can you tell us about those? 293 00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:21,250 Oh, well... 294 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:24,560 We... We wear this to symbolize how pure we are and how we... 295 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,980 Don't approve thing of being naughty or filthy. 296 00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:31,030 Yeah, that's good. Get a closeup on a purity rings. Closeup on a purity rings. 297 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,360 That's wonderful, boys. 298 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:36,060 It's good that little girls can see your concert is not have to be about sex. 299 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,820 We understand, that in the concert tonight, 300 00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:41,680 You'll be dowsing girls in the audience with white foam is that correct? 301 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,680 Aha. Yeah. Aha. Yeah. Yep. 302 00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:46,100 Well, you can give an audience a peak. What you say girls, 303 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:48,620 do you want the Jonas Brothers seduce you with their white foam? 304 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,470 Oh, oh, this is TV-gold! 305 00:15:56,470 --> 00:15:58,190 Excuse us, excuse us. 306 00:15:58,190 --> 00:15:59,660 Hey, what are you think you're doing? 307 00:16:00,030 --> 00:16:04,760 Great stuff, boys. You like taking a Jonas Brother's hot foam on your faces, girls? 308 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:09,550 Hey! Hey, those Jonas Brothers - assholes! 309 00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:12,100 Yeah, their purity rings turned our friend into a douche! 310 00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:12,860 Huh? 311 00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:15,950 What the hell do you think you're doing spreading this crap to kids? 312 00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:19,130 Who the hell are these guys? Are they from Dreamworks? 313 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,300 God damn, Eisner trying to hurt this company again? 314 00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:24,300 This whoile thing is a freaking shame. 315 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,750 I say what you're doing now. 316 00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:27,310 You're trying to sell sex to young girls. 317 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,420 And then confuse them with... 318 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,250 the... 319 00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:33,020 Cartman? 320 00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:36,330 You aren't ruining my plans this time, Dreamworks. 321 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:37,980 Dude, who the hell did that? 322 00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:49,580 Fifteen minutes, that's fifteen minutes, people. 323 00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:51,580 Get them out the trunk and drop here. 324 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:54,400 They almost ruined everything. 325 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,750 How does something like that happened? 326 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:02,490 Wake up, wake up, you little prick 327 00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:04,490 Who do you work for, DreamWorks? 328 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,120 Answer me! 329 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,500 We... don't work for anybody. 330 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,990 Oh boy, I sure believe that. 331 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:16,150 You just try to ruin Disney company's big night for your own amusement. 332 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,910 What the hell did you do to us? 333 00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:18,780 Shut up! 334 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:23,230 And now, Disney Channel presents... 335 00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:26,990 The Jonas Brothers 3D concert spectacular. 336 00:17:26,990 --> 00:17:30,280 Live from Redrocks amphitheater in Colorado. 337 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:36,630 Truly, a night of magic as we are set for a biggest concert event of the year. 338 00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:41,750 In about ten minutes the Jonas Brothers are going to take stage into what Disney is calling 339 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:45,260 The most pure and innocent rock event of the millenia. 340 00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:48,740 Do we put the 3D glasses on now, dadda? 341 00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:50,240 Not yet, Keidy. 342 00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:55,320 Everyone around the country is tuning in to see Disneys waitest pop stars. 343 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,320 [mumbles] 344 00:17:58,420 --> 00:18:00,840 We understand that Jonas Brothers are getting ready. 345 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,640 What's going on backstage must be exciting. 346 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:08,890 You better start talking, You're better start talking right now. 347 00:18:08,890 --> 00:18:13,140 We told you, we aren't working for another studio and there isn't a plan to sabotage your big night. 348 00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,890 We came on our own 'cause our friends purity ring is killing him. 349 00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:18,170 You're lying, I'll cut you up. 350 00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:20,850 You see? We were right about the purity rings 351 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:24,210 A nice christian symbol can't be used for profit gains. 352 00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:25,720 We're all angered god. 353 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,050 You think god is in control here? 354 00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:32,650 I am in control, I've been in control since the 50's if you haven't noticed. 355 00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:35,080 You sleaze bag are going on stage. 356 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:40,200 And you three faggots aren't gonna stop me. Nobody is ruining this event. 357 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:45,190 I've worked too long and too hard to have anyone fuck this up. 358 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:51,320 Where would you be without me, Jonas Brothers? Your music sucks and you know it. 359 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,800 It's because you make litte gils jines tickle. 360 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,990 And when little girls' jines tickle I make money. 361 00:18:58,990 --> 00:19:04,070 And that's because little girls are fucking stupid. 362 00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:08,130 And the purity rings make it ok to do whatever I want. 363 00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:13,990 Even the christians are too fucking stupid to figure out I'm selling sex to their daughters. 364 00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:18,200 I've made billions off of christian ignorance for decades now. 365 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,790 And do you know why? 366 00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:24,140 Because christians are retarded. 367 00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:27,650 They believe in a talking dead guy. 368 00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:35,570 Oh... Hello folks. 369 00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:39,100 Take it easy. 370 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,720 Here is the Jonas Brothers. 371 00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:44,480 C'mon guys. 372 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,640 Not! Stop! Bring them back here! 373 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,980 It's over mr. Meowus. Everyone's tuning out. 374 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,490 No! NO, GOD DAMN IT! NO! 375 00:19:54,870 --> 00:19:57,650 Shut up! SHUT UP! 376 00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:08,370 That's it, girls. No more Disney TV for a while. 377 00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:13,870 Tom, the Disney Jonas Brothers 3D television special has failed. 378 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:16,060 Costing the Disney company millions. 379 00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:19,440 And once again, Mickey is pissed off and throwing a fire. 380 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,440 Venegance is mine 381 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,970 You will all answer. I'm your destroyer. 382 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,230 The Disney purity ring venture will most likely now prove a marketing bust. 383 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,230 As Mickey returns to Valhalla. 384 00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,230 To slumber and feed. 385 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:44,150 Oh, Ken. Look at what we've become. We're way too young to be this boring. 386 00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:47,090 [mumbles] 387 00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:50,080 No! I don't want to watch Grey's Anatomy, Ken. 388 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,930 Let's take off these rings, Ken. 389 00:20:51,930 --> 00:20:55,250 [mumbles] 390 00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:57,250 Let's take them off and just be kids again. 391 00:20:57,250 --> 00:21:03,270 There will be pretty of time to wear rings and be boring and lame when we reach late 30s and be boring and lame anyway. 392 00:21:03,270 --> 00:21:05,270 [mumbles] 393 00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:07,780 Ah, I feel better already. 394 00:21:07,780 --> 00:21:09,000 [mumbles] 395 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,440 Whats say you and me go to T.G.I. Friday's? 396 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,940 [mumbles] 397 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:21,750 And so, as we commit this young child to the earth 398 00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:23,750 Let us all be reminded. 399 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,660 That syphilis is still a deadly disease. 400 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:29,410 And it can be caught even using protection. 401 00:21:29,410 --> 00:21:31,240 This young boy learned a hard way. 402 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,960 I told him. Women's mouth is a most germed place I've said. 403 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,890 Statistically the most unsafe place for a man to put his penis, I've said. 404 00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:42,270 Well, now we know. 405 00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:44,390 And knowing is half the battle.