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sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
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South
Park Season13 Episode03
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Do I really have to do this,dad?
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Stan,now more than ever you need to
understand the importance of saving money.
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But grandma said I could use
this money to buy whatever I want.
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Okay,next,please.
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Go on,stanley.
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How can I help you,young man?
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I got $100 check from my grandma.
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And my dad said I need to put it in
the bank so it can grow over the years.
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00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,980
Well,that's fantastic. A
really smart decision,young man.
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We can put that check in
a money market mutual fund,
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00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:04,910
Then we'll reinvest the earnings
into foreign currency accounts
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with come can pounding
interest and it's gone!
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Uhh,what?
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It's gone. It's all gone.
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What's all gone?
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The money in your account. It
didn't do too well. It's gone.
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What do you mean? I have $100.
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Not anymore,you don't. Poof!
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Well,what can I do
to get back my --
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i'm sorry,sir,but this line
is for bank members only.
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I just opened an account!
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Do you have any money
invested with this bank?
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No,you just lost it all.
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00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,590
Then please stand aside for people
who actually have money with us.
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Next,please.
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Hello,mrs. Farnickle. How are you today?
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Making a deposit,are we?
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Great. We can just put that into your retirement
at and make it go to work for you and it's gone.
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What?
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Sorry,yeah. That's gone.
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Please step aside for people who actually
have money with the bank. Next,please.
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Dad!
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00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,330
Hey,i'm trying to teach my son
about the importance of savings.
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You already lost his money?
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00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,810
Oh,mr.marsh! Don't worry.
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We can just transfer money from your account and
into a portfolio with your son's -- and it's gone!
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This line is for people who
have money with the bank only.
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Please step aside.
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This is the 9 news special report.
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Recession! A nation in peril.
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An economic cris has hit south park
and the nation like never before.
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Another south park bank has closed
down,leaving thousands of people in debt.
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It's just crazy,you know?
Everyone's affected by it.
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It's like all the money just vanished.
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It's really terrifying. We've got
no money to pay our mortgage now.
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We could very easily lose our house.
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Hi,grandma.
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First,the money started going and
now everyone's getting laid off work.
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They took our jobs!
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00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,780
Just how far will the economy fall?
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We asked economic reporter
dan banks for his assessment.
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We'll have the rest of dan's
interview tonight at 10:00.
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All right,everyone,eat up.
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Oh,jesus christ.
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Sliced hot dogs and tomato slices?
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You said we had to be
careful with our money.
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I've got nothing for a food budget!
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Mom,dad,how come there's
suddenly no money?
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I'll tell you what happened,son.
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See,there's a bunch of idiot s out there
who weren't happy with what they had.
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They wanted a bigger house and materialistic
things that they didn't even need.
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People with no money who got loans to buy
frivolous things they had no business buying.
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And these assholes just blindly
started buying any stupid thing
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That looked appealing because
they thought money was endless.
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It goes back to when the government had the idea
that everyone in america deserves to own a house.
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So we have people having a hard time paying
their loans meaning less money coming in.
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And the idiots couldn't see that by doing all this
frivolous spending they were mocking the economy.
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And they made the economy very angry.
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We're all feeling the economy's vengeance
because of materialistic heathens
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who did stupid things with their money.
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Do you understand,son?
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Yeah. I think I get it.
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And so why is our economy failing us?
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Because the government kept
interest rates too low for too long!
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The government took our economy for granted
and now we are all here paying the price!
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How long will we sit and
watch our economy fall --
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And so I say to you,do not listen
to the wall street brokers for they
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are the ones who put
us in this situation!
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Fat cats with corporate greed.
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- They are the ones who knowingly drove us down this pathway of doom.
- and so where has all the money gone?
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It must have gone somewhere.
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00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:51,330
The answer is obvious,my
friends. It is the jews!
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Covetous jews,who have taken all our
money and hoarded it for themselves.
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Hidden all the cash in some secret jew cave
that they built,probably back in the early '60s.
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00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:05,180
And now we hear all different people casting all
different kinds of blame from person to person.
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But the fault lies in all of you. You!
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Who bought that $300,000 house when
you only had $20,000 to put down. You!
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Who bought that third car even though
only two people in your home drive.
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It is time to stop pointing fingers.
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Finger-pointing gets us nowhere. Steve!
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We have mocked our economy and now the
economy has cast its vengeance upon us all.
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He's right. This is the first
guy to actually make sense.
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Yeah,it is an angry
and unforgiving economy.
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To repent we must stop
frivolous spending.
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Instead of paying for
cable,let us watch clouds!
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Instead of buying clothes,bear
but sheets from thine beds!
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Cut spending to only the bare
essentials -- water and bread.
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00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:54,130
And margaritas,yeah!
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Hello,young man. Welcome to
sur la table. Can I help you?
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Yeah. I wanna return this
margaritaville my stupid dad bought.
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Oh,that's all we get anymore,returns.
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Could you please put the
receipt here on this table?
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Sorry,our computers are slow today.
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We need a new ethernet cable.
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Oh,i'm sorry,sir. I'd like to give you a
refund,but i'm afraid that's not doable.
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- What?
- I said i'm not able,sir.
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You see,this margaritaville was
purchased with a payment plan.
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So?
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Well,an outside financing company
handles those payment plans.
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Customers just pay for some of the machine
and the finance company pays for the rest.
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Well,can't I just return it and
get the money my dad put in back?
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Hmm,that's improbable,but
not impossible.
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I'm not really sure how it works.
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You'll have to speak with
the people at the top.
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I can give you the finance company's
address if that's agreeable with you.
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We have become lovers of pleasure,rather
than lovers of the economy.
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There are those who will say
that the economy has forsaken us.
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Nay you hath forsaken the economy!
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And now you know the economy's wrath.
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Oh,thoust can shop in
a sporting goods store,
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But knowest thou that the economy will
take away thy broncos cap from thy head.
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You mocked the economy without fear.
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Thine own stockbrokers,now
lie dead by their own hand.
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And thou knowest that thy
stockbroker did not fear the economy.
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Well,here we are,my friends.
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You have brought the economy's
vengeance upon yourselves.
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What can we do,randy?
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00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:43,990
Yes! Tell us! What do we
do? Tell us what to do!
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00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:48,530
We must all wear sheets instead of
buying clothes that need detergent.
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Instead of cars that take gasoline,we
can get around on lamas from drake's farm.
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Instead of video games that take batteries
and software,our kids can play with squirrels!
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We must let the economy know that
we are capable of respecting it.
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No more needless spending!
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The economy is our shepherd.
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We shall not want!
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Morning,ted.
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Morning,al.
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Well,this sucks.
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Sure was better when our
parents were buying us stuff.
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Of all the times for people to
decide to stop buying things,
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It has to be the week the grand theft
auto 4 comes out for nintendo ds!
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You want something
new every week,fat ass.
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Don't you fraternize me!
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This is all your fault,you know.
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My fault?
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00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,830
The jews took all the
money away and they --
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don't even start! Don't
even start,cartman!
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00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,780
Well,why are we wearing bed sheets
and playing with squirrels,kyle?
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00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,480
Not because of the
jews,butters! Who told you that?
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Well,eric did!
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00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:09,400
Just tell us where the cave is,kyle.
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Now look!
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00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,980
The reason we're in this situation
is because people are being stupid!
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00:09:14,010 --> 00:09:17,380
The economy isn't some vengeable
being that takes things away from us.
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The economy is just made up by people.
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And people have just
lost their faith in it.
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What people really should
be doing is spending more.
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Spending is fine!
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We best speak with the council.
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Tell them a young jew is speaking
heresy towards the economy.
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can I help you?
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I want to return this margaritaville.
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00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:49,760
Okay. Let me send you into josh.
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00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:56,710
Hey,welcome to big
orange finance company!
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Yeah,have a seat. You want some carmex?
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00:09:59,230 --> 00:10:00,200
No thanks.
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00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:04,840
I want to return this margaritaville and the guy at sur
la table said that you are the company that financed it.
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00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:09,240
Ooh,yeah. No. You know what? No,yeah.
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00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:09,930
What?
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00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,240
Yeah,we can't give you your
money back for that. Yeah,no.
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00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:16,790
You'd have to talk to the
people on wall street. Yeah.
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00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:18,260
Wall street?
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00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:24,170
Yeah,no,see what I do is find americans who want
a frozen beverage machine but can't afford one.
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00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:29,190
And I hook them up with investors who want to get
into the margaritaville payment plan business,yeah.
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00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,010
So?
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00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,400
Yeah,so the problem is your margaritaville
payment plan has been combined
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00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,740
With thousands of others into
one big margaritaville security.
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00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:41,450
Yeah,no. Yeah. No,yeah.
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00:10:49,070 --> 00:10:52,450
The entire town has given
over to your ways,mr. Chairman.
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00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:56,930
Everyone has even stopped using electricity
so as to stop paying electrical bills.
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00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:59,460
You've really done an
amazing thing,mr. Marsh.
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00:10:59,470 --> 00:11:05,010
People have learned to hold on to their money so as
to not feel the sting of the economy's mighty sword.
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00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:07,270
I am pretty smart,yeah.
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00:11:07,310 --> 00:11:12,490
But I have assembled this economic committee
to make sure everyone sticks to my new plan.
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00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:17,170
We've got guards posted at the malls to make
sure nobody gets tempted to buy dumb stuff.
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00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:22,390
And pat saltzman is doing house checks to make
sure nobody's ordering anything stupid online.
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00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:26,170
Then perhaps soon our
economy will return to us.
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00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,410
Council,i bring news of discord!
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00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,890
A young jew was in the town square
speaking blasphemy about the economy.
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00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,000
What?
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00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:38,470
He was saying that your ideas are
false and the economy is not vengeful!
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00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,860
He was rallying people to spend more!
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00:11:40,870 --> 00:11:43,760
Spend more? What mockery is this?
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00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,980
Relax,father maxi.
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00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:51,130
What harm can one jew do against
our economic recovery movement?
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00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,050
I had a dream last night.
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00:11:56,090 --> 00:12:00,610
I was in a field,and I had grand theft
auto chinatown wars right next to me.
200
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:05,700
But then the sky went black and grand theft
auto chinatown wars just melted in my hands.
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00:12:09,070 --> 00:12:10,950
What's that?
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00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:13,720
Excuse me. We need to
borrow your squirrels!
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00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,640
- What?
- No! No,please!
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00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:17,940
You have sinned!
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00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:20,080
Oh,jesus,i'm sorry. Please!
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00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:20,960
What's going on?
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00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,300
Garrison,you have brought your
filth to this town for the last time!
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00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:25,340
What did he do?
209
00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:29,480
Your teacher was caught buying a kitchen
aid stand mixer at bed,bath and beyond.
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00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:31,440
Take thy punishment,heathen!
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00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:37,940
Hey,stop it! Stop!
212
00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:40,510
Move aside,kid. He must
pay for his stand mixer.
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00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,410
C'mon,this is ridiculous!
214
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,030
What's ridiculous about hucking squirrels
at a man who has angered the economy?
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00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:47,720
Just have a little compassion,huh?
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00:12:47,740 --> 00:12:50,850
I mean,everyone's gone out and bought
something stupid. It's not so bad.
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00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:55,330
Whichever of you guys has never
bought anything frivolous,go ahead
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00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,320
And huck the next squirrel
219
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:10,460
excuse me? Excuse me!
220
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:13,260
I'd like to return this har mark,please.
221
00:13:13,310 --> 00:13:14,520
Margaritaville?
222
00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:17,080
My dad bought it on a payment plan
that was set up by a finance company
223
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,520
Which got their principal
investors from somebody here.
224
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,120
Oh,that makes sense.
225
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:22,380
It does?
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00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:26,100
You see,son,we lumped thousands of these
margaritaville installment plans together
227
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:28,240
into margaritaville based securities,
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00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:31,770
Then chopped those securities up in a
way that we could sell them to banks.
229
00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:33,330
So I can return it to the bank?
230
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:37,140
Nope. Because a bunch of people like you
are defaulting on their margaritavilles
231
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,290
So the government had to buy the
margaritaville assets from the banks.
232
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,120
What?
233
00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:43,060
Just talk to the treasury
department. In d.c.
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00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:45,970
They're the ones who really
understand how all this works.
235
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:48,570
Oh,sell,sell,sell,sell!
236
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,640
Listen,this is all you need to know.
237
00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:56,810
The economy is not a
supernatural all-knowing entity.
238
00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:02,030
The economy is just an idea made
up by people thousands of years ago.
239
00:14:02,350 --> 00:14:06,810
The economy is not
real and yet it is real.
240
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:10,010
Nowadays,they'll give credit cards to
practically anyone who applies for them.
241
00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:12,170
I applied for this
yesterday to prove a point.
242
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,690
It is an american express platinum card.
243
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,900
It has no spending limb.
244
00:14:17,830 --> 00:14:19,160
Do not be afraid!
245
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,940
This is only plastic.
246
00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,980
It's just something made up by people.
247
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:25,880
Truly meaningless until
we put our faith in it.
248
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:28,870
Faith is what makes
an economy economist.
249
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,230
Without faith,it is only
plastic cards and paper money.
250
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,790
By all report,the young
jew is not letting up.
251
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:43,450
He is still going around convincing people
to have faith in the economy by shopping.
252
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:47,910
We've done everything we can and
yet the economy has not improved.
253
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:49,720
Worse,it has declined.
254
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,580
Poor bart here just lost his
job at little caesar's pizza.
255
00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:58,660
Our tireless work is obviously
being undermined by this one jew.
256
00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:02,340
Why does he go around pretending to
know the true will of the economy?
257
00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:07,200
Perhaps he is the economy's
only son,sent to save us.
258
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,980
Are you retarded,stotch!
259
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,900
The economy is omnipotent.
260
00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:14,080
Which means it can do anything.
261
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:18,320
So saying it would be
limiting to one son is stupid!
262
00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:20,060
That is stupid,yeah.
263
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:23,590
And going around telling
people to shop is dangerous.
264
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:26,440
Well,then there's only one option.
265
00:15:26,470 --> 00:15:28,380
We have to kill the jew.
266
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:30,250
Yep,i think we gotta kill the jew.
267
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:32,910
I don't know. He's got a lot of support.
268
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,660
It might be hard to even catch this jew.
269
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,940
Did somebody say "catch a jew"?
270
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,430
The person you are after might be
hard to get,but I can bring him to you.
271
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,900
And all I want in return
272
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:55,910
is chinatown wars for
a handheld nintendo sd
273
00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:20,970
uh,how can we help you,young man?
274
00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:24,750
I want to return this margaritaville.
275
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:27,360
My dad bought it on a payment
plan set up by a finance company
276
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,460
That got investors from wall street
277
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:31,940
who combined it into securities,sold
to banks who transferred it to you.
278
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:34,650
Ohhh,that makes sense.
279
00:16:35,910 --> 00:16:38,640
No problem. We just need
to consult the chart.
280
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:41,510
We can determine your property's
value and we'll be done.
281
00:16:41,790 --> 00:16:44,160
Really? Thank you.
282
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,190
Be right back
283
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:03,380
excellent news,sir.
284
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:08,850
We've determined the investment value of
your margaritaville to be $90 trillion!
285
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,390
What?
286
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,360
Hey,what's the matter,kyle?
287
00:17:21,390 --> 00:17:23,980
You seem bummed out.
288
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:27,470
I just have a feeling this might
be the last time we get to do this.
289
00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:30,350
Don't worry,kyle. We're not
gonna let people kill you.
290
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:32,260
We'll keep you hidden forever!
291
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,480
I can't just hide my whole life,butters.
292
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:39,100
And besides,i have this strange feel hag
one of you is gonna totally betray me.
293
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:46,360
All right,whoever is thinking of
betraying kyle,that is not cool.
294
00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:49,530
That's frickin' lame,dude.
295
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,500
Kyle's trying to get
the economy going again.
296
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:54,690
If somebody is thinking of stabbing
him in the back,you're being a dick.
297
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,210
Go ahead,kyle.
298
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:05,430
Whoever it might happen to be,i'm
not giving him the opportunity.
299
00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:07,950
Tomorrow,i'm going to
have to do something.
300
00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:11,160
Something i've known I would have
to do to restore people's faith.
301
00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:15,960
Kyle,please. For sake,don't
do anything drastic.
302
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,320
There's no choice anymore,guys.
303
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:19,640
Don't worry about me.
304
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,380
I've been preparing for
this for a while now.
305
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,560
No,no,no. Excuse me. I don't understand.
306
00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:29,620
How can this stupid thing
be worth $90 trillion?
307
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,380
What,you think it's worth more?
308
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,240
No! Dude,that doesn't make sense.
309
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:37,120
Well,you don't get $90 trillion,but
the chart says that's what it's worth.
310
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,010
Oh,oh,problem! Problem again!
311
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:40,010
What is it now?
312
00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:41,620
Another insurance company
is about to go under.
313
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:43,360
If they do,people could lose millions.
314
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:46,130
Okay. No problem. We
better consult the chart.
315
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:54,750
Sir,another insurance
company is going under.
316
00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:57,920
Now determining most prudent
move for insurance company!
317
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,330
Bailout!
318
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,320
Most prudent move is a bailout!
319
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,810
Bailout the insurance company!
320
00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,850
It's a miracle.
321
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:32,090
Why would someone do this?
322
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,580
What is this? What is going on?
323
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,820
There. Look.
324
00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:37,840
It's the jew.
325
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:40,590
Somehow he got a platinum
amex with no spending limit.
326
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:42,370
What's he doing?
327
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:46,040
He's paying for everyone's debts.
328
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:52,580
Hey,thanks,kid. This
is really nice of you.
329
00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:56,180
But that's impossible.
Why would he do this?
330
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,680
So that people have money to spend.
331
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:01,530
Kyle! Kyle,you have to stop this!
332
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,770
It's okay,ma.
333
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,440
No,kyle,you'll be in debt
for the rest of your life.
334
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,510
Please,somebody,get him to stop!
335
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,910
Uh,there's about $17,000 worth here
336
00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:31,850
he paid for our debts so
we could spend once more.
337
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,530
He's dead.
338
00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:40,350
No,he's just passed out.
We should get him to bed.
339
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:09,820
For the first time in almost a year,the economy in
south park has take an small,but noticeable upturn.
340
00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:16,090
Stores and shopping malls are open again as newly
debt-free people feel safe to make purchases.
341
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,030
The new margaritaville!
342
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:19,680
With salsa dispenser!
343
00:21:19,710 --> 00:21:22,800
Just pour your favorite salsa in the top
and it comes out the dispenser at the bottom!
344
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:24,170
Oh,we need this!
345
00:21:24,190 --> 00:21:25,610
Are we out of the woods yet?
346
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,040
Only time will tell.
347
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:31,700
But we must not forget the sacrifice
one person made to restore our faith
348
00:21:31,740 --> 00:21:34,130
And make us believe in
the economy once again.
349
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:38,060
The person we must thank every
day for his amazing sacrifice --
350
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,080
barack obama.
351
00:21:42,870 --> 00:21:44,620
Ah.come on.