1 00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:26,430 South Park Season13 Episode05 2 00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:41,550 Hey,jimmy,what are you up to? 3 00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:42,410 Oh,hey,eric. 4 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:45,570 I was just trying to write some new jokes for my comedy routine. 5 00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:46,980 Yeah,well,you wanna do something? 6 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,120 I wanted to hang out with stan and kyle,but they're all pissed off at me for something, 7 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,480 So I have to hang out with you. 8 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,620 Sorry,eric,but I really need to work,very much. 9 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,340 I haven't written a good joke in over a week. 10 00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:55,300 All right. Well,maybe I can help you. 11 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:57,210 You know,we can totally write some stuff together. 12 00:00:57,210 --> 00:00:58,270 Oh,well,sure. 13 00:00:58,270 --> 00:01:03,130 I've never really tried working with a partner,but let's give it a shotsgarrooski. 14 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,540 Let's see. 15 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:08,230 I was working on this. Why does a squirrel swim on its back? 16 00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:10,730 To keep his nuts dry. 17 00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:13,730 Nah,that's not that funny. Let's try something else. 18 00:01:13,730 --> 00:01:17,480 A fireman and a pollack are eating marshmallows when -- 19 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,380 No,no. Pollacks aren't that funny,dude. Try something else. 20 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,010 So the pope says,"what are you,a stinking evolutionist?" 21 00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:36,320 Here's some fruit,boys. Better for you than potato chips. 22 00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:39,010 Jimmy,look out. There's a black widow! 23 00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:42,500 Wow,thanks,mom! You might have saved my life! 24 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:45,790 Dude,if I'm trying to be creative,i can't eat fruit. 25 00:01:45,790 --> 00:01:47,790 Doesn't your mom have something more substantial to eat? 26 00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:49,050 You can check the freezer. 27 00:01:49,050 --> 00:01:50,900 There might be some frozen fishsticks or something. 28 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:52,750 If you like fishsticks. 29 00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:56,540 - Yeah,i like fishsticks. - Wait a minute. Fishsticks. 30 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:59,520 Fish... Dicks. Oh,my god! It's so obvious! 31 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,840 - How did I never think of it before? - What? Dude,you got something? 32 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,900 All right. Just run with me on this,eric. 33 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,010 Save,eric,do you like fishsticks? 34 00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:06,970 Yeah. 35 00:02:06,970 --> 00:02:08,920 You like putting fish dicks in your mouth? 36 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,090 Yeah. 37 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:12,620 Well,what are you,eric,a gay fish? 38 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:16,580 Fish dicks!Oh,dude,that's funny as 39 00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,190 I think we're really onto something here. 40 00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:20,520 Let's try it out on the guys. 41 00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:27,780 There's clyde. Do it to clyde. 42 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:28,900 Yeah,yeah. Let's do it to clyde. 43 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,260 Okay. Okay,shhh! Check it out. 44 00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:33,300 Ue,hey there,clyde. 45 00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:34,690 What's going on? 46 00:02:34,690 --> 00:02:37,030 Eric and jimmy came up with the funniest joke ever! 47 00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:39,890 Say,clyde,do you like fishsticks? 48 00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:43,870 - Yes. - You like to put fishsticks in your mouth? 49 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:47,300 - Yes. - What are you,clyde,a gay fish? 50 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:50,880 You said you like fish dicks in your mouth,that makes you a gay fish! 51 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,010 Token! Token,got a question for you. 52 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,390 Token,do you like fishsticks? 53 00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:00,980 Fishsticks? Yeah,i guess so. 54 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,430 Butters! 55 00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,980 You like putting fishsticks in your mouth? 56 00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:05,680 Yes. 57 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,170 - What are you,a gay fish? - A gay fish? 58 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,750 Hey,look,there's kevin stoley! 59 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:13,130 Hey,kevin,do you like fishsticks? 60 00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:17,730 Hey,hey,mackey. Do you like fishsticks? 61 00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:20,080 Fishsticks? Yeah,i like fishsticks,mkay. 62 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,650 Oh,hey,peterson. Buying fishsticks,i see. 63 00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:24,220 Yeah,i like fishsticks. 64 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:26,980 What are you,peterson,a gay fish? 65 00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:30,830 and now here he is,jimmy kimmel! 66 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,810 All right,hey,how we all feeling tonight? 67 00:03:33,810 --> 00:03:36,870 So let me ask the guys in the audience a question. 68 00:03:36,870 --> 00:03:38,940 Do you like fishsticks? 69 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:39,940 Yes. 70 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:43,330 Huh,what are you? Gay fish? 71 00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:50,200 And so,uh,hey,paul,do you like fishsticks,paul? 72 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,580 Uh,sure. 73 00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:53,950 What are you,paul,a gay fish? 74 00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:01,270 So apparently more and more americans are eating fishsticks. 75 00:04:01,270 --> 00:04:03,100 Have you seen this? Have you read about this? 76 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,350 Loving fishsticks. Kind of makes me wonder,you know? 77 00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:08,170 What is everybody,a gay fish? 78 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:19,980 It is quite possibly the funniest joke ever conceived,and its origin is unknown. 79 00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:22,700 The fishdicks joke crosses all borders,all races, 80 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:26,100 All ages and eth thick groups and is slowly uniting our country. 81 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:31,250 In fact,the only person who appears to not get the joke is rapper kanye west, 82 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:34,410 Who becomes furious when people use the joke on him. 83 00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:37,050 Yo,that is messed up,yo. I am not gay. 84 00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:39,780 And I sure as hell ain't no fish,all right? 85 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,050 You really don't get it? 86 00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:43,670 Hey,man,I'm a genius,all right. 87 00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:45,940 I'm the most talented musician in the world. 88 00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:49,180 If I was a homosexual or a fish,i would know. 89 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:51,150 - You're a rapper. - Yes! 90 00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:53,440 - An entrepreneur. - Yes. 91 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,620 - And you like fish dicks. - Yes. 92 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,020 You're a gay fish. 93 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:59,290 No,I'm not no gay fish. 94 00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,550 Just gay? 95 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,910 I'm not gay and I'm not a fish. Man! 96 00:05:03,910 --> 00:05:05,300 You are male. 97 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:06,740 Damn right I'm male. 98 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,810 A male that likes fish dicks. 99 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,290 Yeah,i like fishsticks. 100 00:05:11,290 --> 00:05:15,160 You like to put fish dicks in your mouth. 101 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,150 Yeah. 102 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,740 You're a gay fish. 103 00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:20,700 All right,that does it. I'm gonna kick your mother ass! 104 00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:25,910 And then it was on leno and jimmy kimmel show! 105 00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:28,760 Dude,that's our joke on national television. 106 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,620 We know,cartman! 107 00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:34,200 We are comedy writers and you guys aren't. 108 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,110 Jimmy,I've been thinking. 109 00:05:38,110 --> 00:05:40,040 We've got to patent the fishsticks joke. 110 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,600 - Patent? - Yeah,dude. 111 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,020 There's lots of people out there using our joke on their shows. 112 00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,420 We should be getting compensated. 113 00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:48,230 Well,eric,that's really not how jokes work. 114 00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:52,680 I mean,you know,we should just be happy that the joke is so popular and made a lot of people laugh. 115 00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,140 Dude,that! 116 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:57,140 Maybe you were writing jokes for people's amusement,but I don't work for free. 117 00:05:57,140 --> 00:06:00,000 I'm gonna talk to a lawyer so we get what's coming to us. 118 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:08,060 Jimmy,exactly what part of the fishdicks joke did cartman write? 119 00:06:09,010 --> 00:06:14,180 Well,he didn't actually write any of it.He just uh -- 120 00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:18,690 let me guess. You wrote the joke and cartman just laid on the couch eating twizzlers. 121 00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,980 Actually,it was potato chips. 122 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:23,730 I knew it! Don't let that fat turd walk all over you,jimmy! 123 00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:25,120 Stand up for yourself. 124 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,190 Well,i mean,he was in the room. 125 00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:30,280 Then just give him half. 126 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,840 What? 127 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,380 I like you,jimmy. But you're not gonna win this. 128 00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:37,240 Consider yourself lucky he's only asking for half. 129 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:41,560 Craig,if cartman didn't do anything then he doesn't deserve any of the credit. 130 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,360 Up. And if I had wheels,i'd be a wagon. 131 00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:46,880 No,dude,crew that! 132 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,560 Jimmy,if cartman didn't write the joke then definitely don't sign any patent papers with him! 133 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,540 Just say,"cartman,you didn't have anything to do with this joke and you know it!" 134 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,810 Just give him half. 135 00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:03,220 There are a lot of people out there making up rumors about me that are malicious and untrue. 136 00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:08,630 But I am going to prove once and for all I am not a fish. 137 00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:12,730 Because I am a genius,i have ascertained that fish have gills. 138 00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:14,640 Doctor,do I have gills? 139 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,550 He does not have gills. 140 00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:25,220 You hear that? No gills. So I can't be a fish. 141 00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:28,170 And I'm a genius voice of a generation,so I'm not gay. 142 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:31,200 So that is that. All right,it's over. 143 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,140 Now,are there any questions? 144 00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:36,190 Do you like fishsticks? 145 00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,970 Love 'em. 146 00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,010 You're a gay fish. 147 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:43,540 No,I'm not! 148 00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:47,820 All right.Recently, 149 00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:53,070 recently we've all come to know the fishsticks joke as probable the funniest,most awesome joke ever. 150 00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:55,050 But who originally came up with it? 151 00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:56,740 Well,here's your answer.Joining us tonight, 152 00:07:56,740 --> 00:08:01,820 the brains behind the incredible fishsticks joke,the one and only carlos mencia. 153 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,340 Yeah! Viva la mexico! 154 00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:08,130 So,carlos,you've got a show on comedy central,a stand-up tour. 155 00:08:08,130 --> 00:08:10,510 Where did you have time to come up with this classic joke? 156 00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:13,250 Well,you know,i was just kicking it with my homies and my brain -- 157 00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:16,000 my brain is always so full of ideas,'cuz I'm so funny and stuff? 158 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,190 So I was all like,hey,pepeeto,you like fishsticks? 159 00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:21,920 And my homeboy says,"yeah,carlos,you know,you're so funny." 160 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,680 And then it just occurred to me,oh,man,you must be a gay fish,holmes! 161 00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:30,530 And that's just how I came up with it,mi amigos! 162 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,040 Mother! 163 00:08:36,090 --> 00:08:37,480 Jimmy,dude! Did you see? 164 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,800 Carlos mencia is taking credit for our joke. 165 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,270 - Really? - Yeah,dude. I told you this would happen. 166 00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,290 Now look,i got a lawyer to draw up some patent papers. 167 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:48,250 We've got to sign these so that people know that the joke belongs to you and me. 168 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,550 Uh,i don't know,eric. 169 00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:52,590 I really don't think I want to sign that,very much. 170 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:56,920 But jimmy,some fat turd is taking credit for something he didn't do. 171 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,790 Well,to be perfectly frank,eric, 172 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,530 i think I came up with a little bit more of the joke than you did. 173 00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:05,820 What? 174 00:09:05,820 --> 00:09:11,220 Well,you know,i mean,i basically wrote the thing and you just kind of ate chips. 175 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,020 Jimmy,that's messed up. 176 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,640 We decided that day to write together. Don't you remember? 177 00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:18,930 Hey,jimmy,you wanna hang out? 178 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,720 Sorry,eric,but I gotta write some jokes. 179 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,130 Unless you wanna team up or something? 180 00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:24,390 Team up? Okay. Let's write some jokes together. 181 00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:27,150 Here's some fishdicks,guys. Hope you like fishdicks. 182 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,790 Do we like fishsticks? 183 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:31,400 What does she think we are,gay fish? 184 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,480 Ooh,look out,jimmy,it's a black widow! 185 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,370 Thanks,eric. 186 00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:42,630 Is that,is that how it happened? 187 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:46,550 Look,exactly who came up with which part of the joke isn't even relevant. 188 00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:50,340 We had an agreement,jimmy,and if you wanna go back on that now, 189 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,910 Well,then you're no better than a jew. 190 00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:55,720 I'm,I'm sorry. 191 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,350 It's cool,man. It's cool. 192 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:10,630 Here he is,y'all. Give it up for kanye west! 193 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,870 What the hell? 194 00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:18,080 Gay fish! Gay fish! Gay fish! 195 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,430 Yo,this noise. 196 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,220 It just doesn't make any sense,yo! 197 00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:28,900 Why's everyone calling me a gay fish? 198 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:32,400 Kanye,look,we all think it would be better if you would just drop it. 199 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,900 You know,i mean,if you don't get it,you don't get it. 200 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,670 What you mean I don't get it,house? 201 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:40,540 I'm a genius. I'll understand it. I just need to break it down is all. 202 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:44,000 Now let's see. Something about fishsticks. 203 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,140 Interacting with me. 204 00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:48,670 Makes me gay fish. 205 00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:51,300 - Kanye,really -- - shut up! 206 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,830 All right,what do we know about fishsticks? 207 00:10:53,830 --> 00:10:55,830 They're breaded. 208 00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:59,080 They're fried. They're frozen. 209 00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,170 Then under me,we have rapper,genius. 210 00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:06,380 Gay fish are homosexual. 211 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,240 They swim. 212 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,960 Is it because breaded has something to do with genius? 213 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,480 Which swims? 214 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,920 No,because you said you like fish dicks,kanye. Don't you get it? 215 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,740 You see fish dicks is a play on words. 216 00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:25,490 I don't need anybody telling me play on words. 217 00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:29,390 I'm a lyrical wordsmith genius! 218 00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,600 Hey,kyle,can I talk to you for a second? 219 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,320 Dude,get outta here. I'm peeing. 220 00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:39,010 It's just,i don't know what to do about jimmy. 221 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:42,730 I'm starting to think he might try and jew me out of half of the fishsticks joke. 222 00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:47,030 I just need you to teach me some jew defensive moves,kyle. 223 00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:49,700 Because we really did both come up with it. 224 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,480 You know what,cartman? I believe you. 225 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:54,620 You do? 226 00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:57,980 Yes. I believe that you believe you helped write that joke. 227 00:11:57,980 --> 00:11:59,580 That's how people like you work. 228 00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:02,930 Your ego is so out of whack that it will do whatever it can to protect itself. 229 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:07,860 And people with messed up ego can do these mental gymnastics to convince themselves they're awesome 230 00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:10,750 When they're really just douche bags. 231 00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:18,110 But I'm sure I helped come up with the joke,didn't i? 232 00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,270 Hey,jimmy,what's up,dawg? 233 00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:23,380 Oh,hey,eric! Just working on some jokes. 234 00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:24,950 That's cool. You wanna write some together? 235 00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:26,180 Hey,that'd be great! 236 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:27,250 I've always wanted to work with you. 237 00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:29,560 You're really funny and you're totally not fat. 238 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,510 Cool,thanks. Let's get to work. 239 00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:33,770 Now,let's see. Something that's a play on words. 240 00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:36,670 I dunno fishsticks. You know,'cuz of dicks. 241 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:38,510 You're really onto something there! 242 00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:41,860 Hello,eric,have some chips,because you're totally not fat at all. 243 00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,320 Oh,thank you,mrs. Valmer. 244 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,610 Now,let's see. The set-up could be "do you like fishsticks?" 245 00:12:46,610 --> 00:12:48,620 Right. And then I say "yeah." 246 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:51,730 So then I can say,"what are you,a gay fish?" 247 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,920 This is incredible! 248 00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:56,770 - What is that? - It's a dragon of some kind. 249 00:12:56,770 --> 00:12:58,730 Don't worry,i can save you all! 250 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,500 Hey,look,eric killed a dragon! 251 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,490 He's the most awesome kid in school! 252 00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:10,440 And he's not fat at all! 253 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,850 Thanks,you guys! 254 00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:16,260 Nope. No,i definitely helped write this joke. 255 00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:19,610 All I can hope is jimmy doesn't try to jew me over. 256 00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:25,470 Is it perhaps that I'm fashionable and fishsticks are crunchy? 257 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,080 Yo,kanye,kanye! 258 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,760 We found 'em,money! 259 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:30,790 Found who? 260 00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:33,860 You told us to track down whoever started the whole fishstick thang. 261 00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:36,360 We found out who,dawg. 262 00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:39,620 C'mon,man! What is this,man? 263 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:42,500 What the is going on,man? 264 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:45,040 Oh,,man. Kanye west. 265 00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:48,100 Oh,no,oh,,man. Okay,look it wasn't me. 266 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:50,940 I didn't really start the fishstick thing,all right? 267 00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:53,370 You just saying that now 'cuz you're scared! 268 00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:56,180 No,man,it's true! I stole it,man! 269 00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:59,060 I took credit for it,'cuz I'm not actually funny. 270 00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:01,530 C'mon,man. Do you know what that's like? 271 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:04,480 Being a comedian but not being funny? 272 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:10,440 Come on,kanye,i just take jokes and repackage them with a mexican accent man. 273 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,690 You think you can make fun of me? I'm a genius! 274 00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:15,280 I'm the voice of a generation! What are you? 275 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,640 Nothing! 276 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,120 Look at me,man. I'm not funny. 277 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,350 I steal jokes,my dick don't work,man. 278 00:14:22,350 --> 00:14:26,190 I got to piss in a plastic bag,man. I got no dick! 279 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,890 I'm not gonna hurt you. 280 00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:30,470 I pay people to do that for me. 281 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:34,350 Oh,oh,no,man. Come on,i got no dick,man. 282 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,820 Now,explain it to me. 283 00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:47,040 Why do people think I'm a gay fish? 284 00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:52,440 'Cuz,'cuz you like fishsticks,man. C'mon,man. 285 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,080 Don't you get it? Please,just get it,man. 286 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,470 Why? Look at me. Look at me! 287 00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:00,060 I love fishsticks. 288 00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:03,400 I love putting fishsticks in my mouth. 289 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,200 You're,you're a gay fish,man. 290 00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:14,410 Thank you! Thank you very much! 291 00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:18,550 Well,about a week ago our country was blessed with the fishsticks joke. 292 00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:23,110 And ever since then us comedians have been kick ing ourselves for not thinking of it. 293 00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:28,520 But today,we have with us the true creators of the fishsticks joke. 294 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,940 Please welcome the comedy team of cartman and valmer! 295 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:36,950 Hey,guys! 296 00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:38,110 Hi,ellen. 297 00:15:38,110 --> 00:15:40,370 You guys like fishsticks? 298 00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,100 Thank you,thank you. No,really. Thank you. 299 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,040 So,guys,i gotta ask. 300 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,460 How did you come up with this incredible joke? 301 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:51,890 - It was just -- - ellen,comedy is like a game of racquetball,you know? 302 00:15:51,890 --> 00:15:53,890 You serve,and the other person hits it back. 303 00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:55,800 It bounces off the wall,you back-hand it. 304 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,350 And it goes back and forth and back and forth. 305 00:15:57,350 --> 00:16:00,570 Then hopefully you've got a good joke. Thank you. 306 00:16:00,570 --> 00:16:04,300 But,guys,this joke is so perfect. 307 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:06,550 Can you explain how nobody thought of it before? 308 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,660 Well,ellen,the t-t- -- 309 00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:12,310 Truth of the matter is that there's never really been a team like us before. 310 00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,390 I mean,let's be perfectly honest. 311 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:17,220 A lot of people wouldn't work with someone who was disabled,but I see past that. 312 00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:20,080 I look beyond jimmy's disabilities and find a bond. 313 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,110 Which can unite us in comedy. 314 00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:25,250 Working with crippled people is really important. 315 00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:29,680 That's so great. And are you crying,jimmy? 316 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,080 Yes,ma'am. 317 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,020 Oh,don't cry,pal. You're gonna get me started. 318 00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,930 Anyway,what was important for us,as a team,ellen, 319 00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:41,280 Was to make sure everyone knew that we came up with the joke,and not charles butthole mencia. 320 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:45,450 I see. And did you know that carlos mencia was found dead in his house this morning 321 00:16:45,450 --> 00:16:48,820 With fishsticks stuffed down his open neck hole? 322 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,520 Excuse me? 323 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,200 Get my jet***** 324 00:17:04,030 --> 00:17:04,760 All right. So check it out. 325 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:08,060 We've got offers from van de camps and gorton's fishermen to do commercials! 326 00:17:08,370 --> 00:17:13,440 It's always been my dream to go on a national tv show and talk about the craft of comedy. 327 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,770 Yeah,that was cool,huh! 328 00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:18,760 Eric,there's something I really need to know. 329 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,310 What's that? 330 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,170 How do you live with yourself? 331 00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:26,930 You know you had nothing to do with the fishsticks joke,but you just keep pretending. 332 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,920 How do you look at yourself in the mirror? 333 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,960 That's what I want to know. 334 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,480 So. Here it is. 335 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,740 How do you take credit for something you didn't do? 336 00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:39,800 This is bullcrap,jimmy,and you know it! 337 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,020 I had just as much to do with the fishsticks joke as you did. 338 00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:47,310 Dude,it's puff daddy! 339 00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:49,250 Tie up these mother! 340 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,360 Now,I'm gonna ask you one more time. 341 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,540 Why did you start these rumors about me? 342 00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:58,560 Please! I wasn't starting rumors about you. 343 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,270 I don't even know who you are! 344 00:18:00,270 --> 00:18:02,200 Oh,right. Everyone knows who I am! 345 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,120 I want to know how this got started. 346 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,490 Well,we were just talking about ideas for jokes and -- 347 00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:08,390 Oh,so now it's we,huh,jimmy? 348 00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:10,250 A minute ago you said you did it all yourself. 349 00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,850 Well,i just abu -- I bu -- 350 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,580 We both came up with it together. 351 00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:16,600 You wanna know how it happened? 352 00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:18,400 Hello,jim. 353 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,540 Oh,boy,it's my best pal,eric! 354 00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:21,390 What you up to? 355 00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:24,510 I'm trying to write jokes but I'm not as funny as you,so it's tough. 356 00:18:24,510 --> 00:18:26,240 Well,maybe I can help you. We can team up! 357 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,930 Really? Wow,you would help me,even though I'm crippled? 358 00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:30,500 You are caring and not fat. 359 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,720 Now,let's see. How about a joke that has something to do with fishsticks. 360 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,660 You know,'cuz fishsticks sounds like fish dicks,jimmy? 361 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,580 Eric cartman,you are handsome and not even remotely fat. 362 00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:40,580 Thanks. 363 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:44,260 So what I'm thinking is -- do you like fishsticks in your mouth? 364 00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:46,100 What was that? 365 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,390 Eric! Eric,you have to save us! 366 00:18:48,390 --> 00:18:51,270 An entire army of jew robots! 367 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:58,400 Oh,my god! What are jew bots doing here? 368 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,480 Flame on! 369 00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:07,400 Flame off! 370 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,790 You saved everyone from the jew-bots,cartman! 371 00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:12,690 C'mon,jimmy,we gotta get back and finish that joke! 372 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,070 - - like fishsticks in your mouth? 373 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,270 What are you,a gay fish? There! 374 00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,880 Wow,eric! Incredible! 375 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,950 Too bad I'm a dick and I'm gonna take all the credit. 376 00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:23,300 Suck it,bitch. 377 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:26,670 Aw,dammit. I guess it really was all me who came up with it. 378 00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:29,570 - What? - You gotta let jimmy go. It's all my fault. 379 00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:31,230 Jesus,eric. He's gonna kill you. 380 00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:34,150 You won't even admit it was just me knowing you're gonna die? 381 00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:38,240 Jimmy,you really believe that you came up with it all on your own? 382 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,940 Oh,my god. Wait. I totally get it now. 383 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,270 What? I stel don't get anything! 384 00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:46,240 All this time I've been mad at you,jimmy,for trying to take all the credit. 385 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,790 But now I realize it's just that your ego has made you believe things happened differently. 386 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,530 That's what kyle was trying to tell me. 387 00:19:52,530 --> 00:19:57,090 That you have such a huge ego you do these mental gymnastics to make yourself a part of things. 388 00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:57,930 Really? 389 00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:01,800 I thought you were just trying to jew me out of my part of the credit, 390 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,810 But now I realize that some people just have egos that are so out of whack 391 00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:10,230 That they distort everything and can't rember the simple truth of what happened. 392 00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,280 Jimmy,i owe you an apology. 393 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,530 I realize now you can't help believing you created the entire joke, 394 00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:18,120 Because your ego won't let you think otherwise. 395 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,660 I just have to accept that. 396 00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:23,170 Thanks,eric. For being so understanding. 397 00:20:23,170 --> 00:20:24,400 He's right. 398 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,900 For so long I've considered myself god's gift to the world, 399 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:29,750 That I couldn't take it when people made fun of me. 400 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,850 But they weren't making fun of me. 401 00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:34,380 They were trying to help me. 402 00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:36,710 Boys,i understand what you did now. 403 00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:39,800 Untie them,guys. I know what I have to do. 404 00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:44,500 Yo,kanye,you sure about this? 405 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,140 It's time for me to stop running. 406 00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,640 I need to believe what people tell me. 407 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,750 Let all my fans know I love 'em, 408 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,520 But a gay fish just can't live in the outside world forever. 409 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,120 Don't be sad for me,guys. I'm going home! 410 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:02,700 #Yo, uh, uh c'mon# 411 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,710 #I've been so lonely girl, I've been so sad and down,# 412 00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:08,590 #Couldn't understand why haters joked around,# 413 00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:11,030 #I wanted to be free with other creatures like me# 414 00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:15,320 #And now I got my wish, 'cause i know that I'm a gay fish (gay fish).# 415 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:21,900 #(Gay fish Yo) mother fuckin' gay fish, (I'm a fish yo) goin' on a gay fish,# 416 00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:25,580 #(It's alright girl) makin' love to other gay fish.# 417 00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:30,700 #All those lonely nights at the grocery store, In the frozen fish aisle feelin' like a whore.# 418 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:34,700 #Cause I wasn't being true, Even though everyone said that I had to make a switch.# 419 00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:40,940 #(Gay fish) now I know that I'm a gay fish (gay fish), (Gay fish Yo) mother fuckin' gay fish.# 420 00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:48,680 #(I'm a fish yo) Goin' on a gay fish (Now I'm where i belong girl) makin' love to other gay fish.#