1
00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:28,860
South
Park Season13 Episode06
2
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:39,940
All right. That's 2. 8 centimeters.
3
00:00:40,230 --> 00:00:43,310
Should give us a drag
of only. 6 milliseconds.
4
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,530
Hold the front here,stan.
5
00:00:46,940 --> 00:00:48,610
Hey,guys,it's almost 2:00 a.m.
6
00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:49,530
We know.
7
00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:51,220
Well,it's way past time for bed.
8
00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:54,210
Sharon,stan's pinewood
derby race is tomorrow!
9
00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:57,200
Do you have any idea how
important this is to him?
10
00:00:57,220 --> 00:01:01,110
Stan is not gonna lose to
the goddamn hollises again!
11
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:03,130
Well,it's just a block
of wood and some wheels.
12
00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:05,040
I don't think there's much
more you can do with it.
13
00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:07,550
That's 'cuz you're a chick!
Now just leave us alone!
14
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:11,610
Don't worry,son. The hollises
are not beating us this year.
15
00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:15,360
I went and got something to put inside
our car and make it go extra fast!
16
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:18,830
Dad,we're not allowed to add anything to the car
that doesn't come in the approved kit,remember?
17
00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:21,370
Stan,how do you think the
hollises beat us every year?
18
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,370
I'm sure they put lead
in the wood or something.
19
00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:25,650
We're just leveling the playing field.
20
00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:28,240
- There.
- What is it?
21
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,510
It's uh -- it's
nothing really.
22
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:36,370
Tom,i'm standing outside the hadron particle
super collider in switzerland,where authorities
23
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:40,820
Are shocked and baffled over the theft
of a sup conducting bending magnet
24
00:01:40,830 --> 00:01:44,230
created for use in tests
with particle acceleration.
25
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,540
Oh,no. He didn't.
26
00:01:45,550 --> 00:01:48,960
The superconducting magnet
was stolen sometime last week.
27
00:01:48,990 --> 00:01:52,510
Surveillance cameras were able to
record the theft on tape and police
28
00:01:52,550 --> 00:01:56,910
Are now looking for princess
leia organa of alderaan.
29
00:01:56,940 --> 00:02:01,450
Caught here in these photos,the troubled rebel
princess Is seen taking the superconducting magnet
30
00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:05,120
and then appearing disoperated
as she tries to find her way out.
31
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,970
If you have any information
of princess leia's whereabouts,
32
00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:10,460
Please call your local
police department.
33
00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:14,310
All right,scouts and dads.******
34
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,900
And it looks like our
next heat is ready to go.
35
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:19,900
Three,two,one,race!
36
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,710
2.1 seconds for tommy bretz!
37
00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:26,880
Looks like we have a new leader,folks.
38
00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,940
All right!
39
00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:33,090
All right,stan. We're gonna need to check
in and have our car inspected to qualify.
40
00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:38,110
Now,son,daddy needs to teach you
something very important about tells.
41
00:02:38,130 --> 00:02:39,140
Tells?
42
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:42,030
When you tell them you
only used the approved kit,
43
00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:45,830
Don't look up and away,don't rub
your neck and don't touch your ear.
44
00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:47,980
Otherwise,they'll know you're
lying to them. All right.
45
00:02:47,990 --> 00:02:52,150
When you need to lie just don't look up
and away,rub your neck or touch your ear.
46
00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:54,340
Dad,maybe we should just take out
the thing you put in the car --
47
00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:57,450
Son,you have to learn how
to lie correctly some day.
48
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,160
Might as well be today. All right?
49
00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:02,210
I love you,son.
50
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:05,450
Looks good. Thank you
and good luck today.
51
00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:07,340
All right. Next,please.
52
00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:08,560
Name?
53
00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:10,470
It's uh
-- marsh.
54
00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:16,530
All right. Car weighs in at 15 ounces.
55
00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:20,040
Do you hereby swear that you used
parts in the official pinewood derby kit
56
00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:23,190
And only parts in the
official pinewood derby kit?
57
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:25,710
Yes,i do. Yes,i do.
58
00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:27,280
Yes,i do.
59
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,070
All right,young man. Good luck today.
60
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,240
Oooh,yes!
61
00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:34,660
Well,well. Look,son,it's the marshes.
62
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:37,070
Hey,hollis. You guys race already?
63
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,630
No,little emmett hasn't gone yet.
64
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:42,050
Think they're saving the best for last.
65
00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:45,270
Clocked her in at home at 1.5 seconds.
66
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,600
It's the fastest car we've ever built.
67
00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:49,250
1.5?
68
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,140
The time to beat is 1.9 seconds.
69
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:57,670
May we please have --
brewster,marsh,jarvis and hollis.
70
00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:05,060
Only fitting our boys should be going
head-to-head for their match,hey,marsh?
71
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,250
C'mon,stan. You can do this!
72
00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:10,140
All right,kids,are you ready?
73
00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:16,320
Here we go. Last race for the state
championship in three,two,one,go!
74
00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:21,890
You got it,emmett!
75
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,080
oh,yeah! Oh,yeah!
76
00:04:40,090 --> 00:04:42,670
Suck on that,hollis!
77
00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:45,090
This is 9 news at 10:00.
78
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:49,670
A colorado boy and his father have
set a new record at the pinewood derby.
79
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:52,830
Stan and randy marsh not
only broke a speed record,
80
00:04:52,850 --> 00:04:57,360
But actually appear to have bent time
and space and discovered warp speed.
81
00:04:57,370 --> 00:05:00,100
A parade was held for
the winners earlier today.
82
00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:03,660
And already offers for commercials and
endorsement deals for the father and son
83
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,900
appear to be pouring in.
84
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:09,540
Dad,i just you to know I still love you.
85
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:18,730
He's okay. He's okay. He's
okay. He's okay.He's okay.
86
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,460
- stan marsh?
- Yeah.
87
00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:56,040
I'm agent clark and this is agent marx.
88
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,350
We'd like to talk to you
about your pinewood derby car.
89
00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,200
Aw,crap. Dad!
90
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:07,230
Young man,what we're about to tell
you is a matter of national security.
91
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:13,460
Yesterday,every government and embassy on
earth was contracted by an alien life force.
92
00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:14,290
Alien?
93
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:19,530
Apparently the alien came across your pinewood
derby car and is now heading here to our planet.
94
00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:20,530
What does it want?
95
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,730
We believe that they intend to welcome us
into the galactic federation of planets.
96
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:28,370
They will want to meet the people who
discovered warp speed for our species.
97
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,520
Stan,did you use all the
damn toilet paper again?
98
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:32,900
Oh,crap! What? What the you guys want?
99
00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:35,010
We said we only used
what was in the kit!
100
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,840
You got nothing on us.
101
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,630
You got nothing on us!
102
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:40,760
Dad,they aren't here for that!
103
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,420
Hi,i'm randy marsh.
104
00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:45,210
Mr. Marsh,we were just telling
your son that thanks to you,
105
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:47,940
We have made first
contact with alien life.
106
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,300
What?
107
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,940
Hey,hey,sharon!
108
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:55,780
Nasa has confirmed that an alien ship has
entered our solar system and is headed here.
109
00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:57,140
So guess what?
110
00:06:57,180 --> 00:07:00,100
Our pinewood derby car
found alien life in space.
111
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,590
What? Oh,my god.
112
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,950
Yeah. But I guess it's just a
dumb race like you said,huh,sharon.
113
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,350
The world holds its breath as
an alien ship prepares to land.
114
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,560
Now that our planet
has achieved warp speed,
115
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,030
we are about to be welcomed
into the universal society.
116
00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:29,400
All thanks to a father and
son who broke the warp barrier,
117
00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:33,280
Using only the parts in
this pinewood derby car kit.
118
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:36,860
Mr. Marsh,you are on with
with all the world leaders.
119
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:38,570
Hello?
120
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:40,280
Godspeed,mr. Marsh.
121
00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:42,170
The nation of france is with you!
122
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,630
Good ruck wis arien,missa marsh!
123
00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:46,890
Prease say harro from a china!
124
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:51,230
Uh,okay. Stand by. I think
it's -- I think it's landing.
125
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:07,750
Our first encounter with
extraterrestrial life is about to happen.
126
00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:09,970
Will it be like in "star
trek: First contact"?
127
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:13,470
Or will it be more like
"contact" with jodie foster?
128
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,810
I seek the life forms that made this.
129
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:34,750
That's ours,mr. Alien.
130
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:37,180
We are the marshes. Randy and stan.
131
00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:39,020
Oh,yeah?
132
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,070
You're gonna build me another one,see?
133
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,500
He's got a gun!
134
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,580
Everyone down on the ground!
135
00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:49,550
Get those hands up! Let me
see those hands! Do it now!
136
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,990
I mean it! Show me those hands!
137
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,160
I'm baby fark mcgee-zax!
138
00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:57,340
The greatest gangster this
universe has ever seen,right?
139
00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:59,060
You can't threaten us!
140
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,530
Who wants it next,huh?
141
00:09:03,430 --> 00:09:06,240
Anyone else on this
planet want to be a hero?
142
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:10,400
What do you want?
143
00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:11,720
I'm on the lamb!
144
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:15,810
I got the entire federation of planets after
me,but they ain't gonna catch me. You got that?
145
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:19,900
They might have busted my warp drive,but
you obviously know how to make 'em!
146
00:09:21,530 --> 00:09:24,380
Screw this guy! He
can't take out all of us!
147
00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:30,050
I can kill any mug on
this two bit planet I want!
148
00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:32,130
Abunaiii!
149
00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:35,720
You build me a new warp drive
or you'll all gonna get it,see?
150
00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:38,010
Fine! He can build you what you want.
151
00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:41,420
All he needs is the official
pinewood derby kit. Right,marsh?
152
00:09:41,430 --> 00:09:44,780
Uh,yeah. That's all we used,huh,stan?
153
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,160
Oh,boy.
154
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:54,290
Okay. Let's put the wheels on now,son.
155
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,590
What's taking so long? You're stalling!
156
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,600
C'mon,randy. Just build him the
warp drive and he'll leave us alone!
157
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:01,830
We're working on it.
158
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:07,020
Dad,dad,you know we can't make the car go as fast
as before with only the approved pinewood derby kit.
159
00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:08,630
Yeah,thanks,stan. I know that!
160
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,070
Well,we have to tell him we
used something outside the kit!
161
00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:13,880
Do you have any idea how
stupid that will make us look?
162
00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:16,040
All right. That does it!
163
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:19,010
Hello?
164
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:23,100
He just blew up our government
building! You've got to hurry!
165
00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:26,010
Mr. Marsh,why won't you
finish the pinewood derby car?
166
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,570
Will you just give us a minute,gal!
167
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,920
C'mon,dad. We gotta come clean!
168
00:10:37,330 --> 00:10:39,710
zats! It's the intergalactic police!
169
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,270
What?
170
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,240
You better get rid of 'em or your
whole planet is gonna get it,see?
171
00:10:47,270 --> 00:10:49,380
You tell 'em you ain't
seen nothing. You got that?
172
00:10:49,390 --> 00:10:51,800
I ain't going to space jail!
173
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:04,400
Excuse us,earthlings,but we've been in
pursuit of a criminal from xenon galaxy.
174
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:08,280
Fella by the name of
baby fark mcgee-zax.
175
00:11:08,530 --> 00:11:11,720
Uh,no. We haven't seen anything.
176
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:14,830
Wel,you think anyone else on
your planet might have seen him?
177
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:19,000
Uh,actually,i happen to be on the phone
with all the world leaders. I can ask.
178
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:22,860
Uh,yeah,listen,these police aliens
are here and they're wondering
179
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:26,920
If anyone has seen an alien
named baby fark mcgee-zax.
180
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,460
No. No,we haven't seen aliens.
181
00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:32,390
We've seen nothing here in france.
182
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,630
Sorry. Nobody in the
world has seen anything.
183
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,990
Uh,what did this
criminal alien do,exactly?
184
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:43,660
He toll over 600 parsons of space
cash from the universal bank.
185
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,930
You're absolutely sure you
didn't see an alien land here?
186
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:47,910
No,we're sure.
187
00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:51,810
So then we're the first
aliens you've ever seen?
188
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,430
That's right. Up,you're the first ones.
189
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:57,990
You don't seem that excited about
your first contact with alien life.
190
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,150
That's right! Oh,my god!
191
00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:04,200
Hey,everybody,we just
made first contact!
192
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:07,990
If you do see any sign of the other
alien or the space cash,you'll --
193
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,390
We will give you a call!
194
00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,950
Mathematical semitonal is fine.
195
00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:22,550
Something wrong,sir?
196
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:24,080
I don't know,daverd.
197
00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:27,600
Just something about that
planet didn't feel right.
198
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:33,580
All right,son. Now you just paint
that racing stripe like you did before.
199
00:12:33,590 --> 00:12:36,670
I don't need it painted. I
just need it functional,right?
200
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:40,880
Hey,the right paint job is a big part of
what makes a pinewood derby car go fast.
201
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:42,060
That's true.
202
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:46,270
I swear if you don't have that thing working
if three minutes this whole planet is done for!
203
00:12:46,770 --> 00:12:49,380
Dad,it's over. We have to
tell everyone we cheated.
204
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:51,940
No,i've got it all figured out,son.
205
00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:53,980
You have to kill the alien.
206
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,400
Kill the alien?
207
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:58,410
I've been filing down this
piece of metal into a shank.
208
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:00,130
I'm gonna call him over
here to look at the car.
209
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,120
When I do,you shove that in his neck.
210
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:03,690
No,dad! We don't even
know what will happen!
211
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,540
What are you whispering about,right?
212
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:07,590
Uh,no. That's it. We're done!
213
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,010
- Here,come take a look.
- Dad!
214
00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:11,400
Here,see?
215
00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,940
Look real close at the axles here.
216
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,110
Yeah! All right,you got him,son!
217
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:34,700
All right,men. Check the ship!
218
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,270
You see,stan? What did daddy tell you?
219
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,910
Everything worked out.
220
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,110
I guess so.
221
00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:43,800
It just still doesn't feel right.
222
00:13:43,810 --> 00:13:45,410
But,stan,it's over now.
223
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,360
We'll never have to lie again.
224
00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,240
Hey,marsh,get in here!
225
00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:53,810
Can you believe it?
226
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:57,870
Oh,my god. Space cash.
227
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,500
Looks like those alien cops were right.
228
00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:02,110
Guess you should call them back now.
229
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,770
Right.
230
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:06,620
Or what if we didn't call the cops?
231
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:10,490
I mean,this is a lot of space cash,guys.
232
00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:11,790
Think what we could do with it.
233
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,080
- No,dad.
- He's right.
234
00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:15,390
We don't have to call the police back.
235
00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:18,750
All right. Let's get the
cash,put it into boxes --
236
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:23,550
- Dad,what are you doing?
- Will you relax,stan?
237
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,880
Don't sink that you get to keep
all ze space cash for yourselves.
238
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:33,080
Zat's right. This is all of our
planet,the space cash belongs to all of us!
239
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:38,290
Either america shares that space cash with the
rest of the world or we will tell the space cops!
240
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:41,310
All right,fine. Look,there's
plenty of space cash to go around.
241
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,190
Thanks to us,our planet is rich,son!
242
00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:50,880
4****
243
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,940
Oh,no. No,china. We
get to keep the ship.
244
00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:58,890
Because we killed the alien,you boner.
245
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:03,110
Oh,c'mon,england. You got just as much
of the space cash as everyone else!
246
00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:08,870
Oh,crap! It's the cops. Hang on.
247
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:18,630
Oh,hey,space officers.
248
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:21,830
Looks like the alien criminal
did land here after all.
249
00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:24,310
Oh,you were talking about that alien?
250
00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:26,610
Oh,yeah,that one,yeah.
He,he landed here.
251
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,640
But we,we killed him.
252
00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:31,920
And so did you find
the missing space cash?
253
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:34,160
No. Space cash? No.
254
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:36,580
There wasn't any space cash.
255
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:39,820
Well,maybe someone else on
your planet knows where it is.
256
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,190
Hey,any of you other
countries see any space cash?
257
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,540
- No.
- No,no space cash.
258
00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:50,130
Yeah,doesn't look like the
space cash was ever here.
259
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:54,360
Guess he must have dropped
it off at some other planet.
260
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:56,150
Probably!
261
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:58,670
Well,you folk all take care now.
262
00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:03,280
Just one more thing,earthlings.
263
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:07,680
We had some images done of your planet and it
appears that one of your poorer countries --
264
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:14,070
Mexico -- has built 32 new hospitals and
seven water parks in the last four days.
265
00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:21,760
Yeah,mexico,you know all us other countries
chipped in and gave mexico some aid.
266
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:24,700
Yeah. They really
needed new water parks.
267
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,210
Have a good day.
268
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:35,900
Hey,hey,mexico!
269
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,710
We said no spending the space cash yet!
270
00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:40,470
What the hell are you doing?
271
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:44,010
Will some country that speaks*******
272
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:53,120
Pack******
273
00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:02,890
FATHER******
274
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:07,540
WARP********
275
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:11,540
DAD********
276
00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:15,890
DERBY********
277
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:19,030
CHINA********
278
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:24,190
no,japan! Will you listen
to eme for five seconds?
279
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,940
If you keep building giant robots,the
cops are gonna ask questions!
280
00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:31,200
Well,then why can england
build nuclear power plant?
281
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:33,240
Nobody can build anything!
282
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,960
Yeah,well,it's not even gonna matter,
283
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,310
because finland is thinking about
telling the space cops the truth.
284
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,920
What? Finland!
285
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:43,460
We believe the aliens are going to
find out sooner or later what we did.
286
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:45,180
It's best we come clean now.
287
00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:47,130
Will you just relax,finland?
288
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,010
Nobody's gonna find out anything.
289
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,000
I'm sorry,but our nation is resolved.
290
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,970
We cannot live with the guilt anymore.
291
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,870
Okay,okay. You're right. You're
right,finland. Okay. You're right.
292
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,330
Can you just let us other countries
talk in private for a moment?
293
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,980
Very well.
294
00:18:01,220 --> 00:18:02,880
All right. You guys,we
gotta get rid of finland.
295
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:05,740
Yup. We gotta take out
finland. They gonna squeal.
296
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,690
Yup. I think we can all agree,guys.
297
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,850
- Yup.
- Yeah.
298
00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:26,780
Aw,dammit.
299
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,660
Uh,hey,space officers.
How can we help you?
300
00:18:33,670 --> 00:18:35,890
Well,we're a little puzzled.
301
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:39,310
Over one of your
countries -- uh,finland?
302
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,990
What? What about it?
303
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,430
It appears to have been destroyed.
304
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:47,260
What? Oh,my god! Not finland!
305
00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:49,750
Oh,no! No! Not finland!
306
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,750
Hey,guys,finland's dead.
307
00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:53,830
Oh,no!
308
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:56,130
No! Not finland!
309
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:57,730
All of finland gone!
310
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,610
Yeah. Somebody better
break the news to norway.
311
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,890
They were really close.
312
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:05,240
None of you knew anything
about the finland destruction?
313
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:09,590
No. I mean,odds are they nuked
themselves. You know,suicide.
314
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,290
We didn't say anything about nukes.
315
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:15,470
Or whatever they did,i'm saying.
316
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,520
Excuse me! Excuse me!
317
00:19:18,530 --> 00:19:21,130
Everyone,i have an announcement to make.
318
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,630
I am giving back my
pinewood derby trophy.
319
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:25,510
- What?
- Stan!
320
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:31,350
The truth is I don't deserve this trophy,because
I cheated on my pinewood derby car.
321
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:33,600
I used something not
in the approved kit.
322
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,730
- What?
- Outside the kit?
323
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:37,810
Not in the approved kit?
324
00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:40,090
He cheated on the pinewood derby?
325
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:42,020
This trophy isn't mine.
326
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,160
And so I have to give it back.
327
00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:48,170
Because if i'm not honest now,then i'll
have to keep this lie going forever.
328
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:50,820
And it will just grow and grow.
329
00:19:54,930 --> 00:19:57,510
Well,stan,we're proud
of you for coming clean.
330
00:19:57,550 --> 00:20:00,510
But it doesn't change the fact that
you cheated. Go to your room,son.
331
00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:04,300
Your son seems to have some
pretty inspirational words.
332
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:08,230
You sure you earthlings
have nothing else to tell us?
333
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,620
Hey,uh,do we have anything
else to tell the space cops?
334
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:14,460
Nope!
335
00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:16,490
- No!
- No changes.
336
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,140
- Tell 'em no.
- No changes.
337
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,670
Yeah,no. We've told you
everything,space officers.
338
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,800
All right. That's it,then.
339
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:25,780
Come on out,sir. It appears to be over.
340
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,900
It's baby fark mcgee-zax!
341
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,430
My real name is kevirn xaxor.
342
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:41,780
I am the ambassador
to new planet testing.
343
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:44,610
What the hell are they talking about?
344
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,910
These are not space cops.
345
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:48,470
There is no space jail.
346
00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:53,240
And space cash is only worth what
you as a planet decided it was worth.
347
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:58,100
I mean,how stupid is
your species? Space jail?
348
00:20:58,110 --> 00:21:00,610
Baby fark mcgee-zax?
349
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:02,580
It was just a trick?
350
00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:05,290
Whenever a civilization
discovers warp speed,
351
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:08,070
we want to bring them into
the federation of planets.
352
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:13,160
But first we do the space cash test to
esee if that species is worthy of joining.
353
00:21:13,180 --> 00:21:15,830
Needless to say,you all failed.
354
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,040
People of earth,since you
did not return the space cash,
355
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,130
Your species and your planet
is hereby forever blocked off
356
00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:27,510
and barred from the rest
of the universe. Goodbye.
357
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:32,750
No,no! Hey,wait! No!
358
00:21:43,270 --> 00:21:45,110
Well,that sucks.