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south
parks13e11
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Alright,everyone.
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Welcome to the dolphin encounter
here at the denver aquarium!
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My name is chad and I'll be your guide
and trainer as you meet these intelligent,
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and t truly magical creatures.
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And here they come.This
is trigger and dolly.
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And there's bubbles.
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Wow,cool!
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Pretty neat birthday,huh stan?
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Yeah,this is gonna be awesome!
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If they come near you,you
can touch their backs.
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Just no grabbing,please.
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What whimsical creatures,aren't they?
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All the dolphins you will be encountering
today are atlantic bottlenose dolphins.
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Now who'd like to get a kiss from one?
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- I would like to
- Oh,me,me,me.
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I wanna kiss it!
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I wanna kiss it!
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Uh,alright.Let's just get
you to put your hands,
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palms down on the water.
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What the hell is that?
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Oh no!It's the japanese!
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*****You dolphin!
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*****You dolphin!
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These are our favorite
animals here at the atlanta zoo.
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It's dolly and seamore.
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They are beluga whales.
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These whales live mostly
in the arctic region.
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Alright,jessica.
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Now put your arms out like this.
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Great job,jessica!
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****You wha-ruuuuu!
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Hey pal.
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Sorry your birthday got a
little ruined by the japanese.
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Dad,why did they do that?
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Well stan,the japanese just
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don't really like dolphins very much.
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Certainly not as much
as us normal people do.
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But hey,at least you
still got your t-shirt!
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And you'll always have
your neat picture!
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my new friend!
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Dan dierdorf here welcoming you
to this great football matchup
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between the kansas city
chiefs and the miami dolphins.
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We're all set for kick-off and
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Uh dan,it looks like some japanese
people are now rushing onto the field.
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This is not the kind of thing you
want happening during kickoff.
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****You dolphin!
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Several whales and dolphins were again
slaughtered by the japanese today.
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This time at the six flags
discovery kingdom near san francisco.
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Aquariums had been experimenting with
methods to keep the japanese out,
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but so far nothing seems to stop them.
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When asked if all of japan supported
the slaughtering of whales and dolphins,
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the current prime minister of
japan,yukio hatoyama had this to say.
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You way-ruuuu!
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And You dolphin!
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Can't read my,can't read my
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no,he can't read my poker face
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she's got to love nobody
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can't read my,can't ready my
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no,he can't read my poker face
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she's got to love nobody
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p-p-p-poker
face
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p-p-p-poker
face
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p-p-p-poker
face
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- You guys,you guys!
- p-p-p-poker face
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Look,I really think it's
time for us to do something.
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This is all getting way out of hand.
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What do you mean? This song is sweet.
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No,not the song.I'm talking about the
japanese killing whales and dolphins.
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Dude,they've been doing
that for a long time.
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So?Dude,don't you guys care?
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We have to do something!
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What are we going to do,stan?
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It's not like we can change the
way an entire country thinks.
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I don't like it,but it's
just the way they are.
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It seems like everyone
has an attitude of
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'that's just the way they are'
and 'that's just the way it is.
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'Nobody likes it but everyone's
too busy to do anything about it.
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- I'm not too busy stan.
- You're not?
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- No.I just don't care at all.
- Yeah,me neither.
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Kenny?You don't care about whales
and dolphins being slaughtered?!
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Stan,me and kenny don't give two
shits about stupid ass Whales.
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You know,when all the whales and
dolphins in the world are gone
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people are going to wish that at some
point they had taken the time to care
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just a little god dammit!
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I wanna roll with him
a hard pair we will be
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I don't give a crap bout
whales so go and hug a tree
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Hey,stan!
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I heard you're looking for people who care
about the japanese slaughtering whales!
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Yeah!Butters,you wanna help?!
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No,no,no,no.I got stuff to do.
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But I wanted to tell
you,there's these fellers on tv.
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They go out in the ocean and try to
stop the japanese wherever they are!
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Really?People who are doing something?!
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I watch their show all the time.
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And they take volunteers!
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Then that's where I belong.
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The world is a vampire
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Yeah,we are bad ass.
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Any means necessary.
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We're not protesters.
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We're pirates.
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WHALE WARS
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That's definitely a japanese boat!
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Looks like they're whaling now!
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****You whale!
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Oh my god,they're gonna
kill those humpbacks!
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We gotta do something!
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Pull up next to them!
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The fight is on!
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Sweet!
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- Are we ready to do this?
- Yeah!
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Yeah!Hell yeah!Let's do it!
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Are we bad asses?!
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Yeah!
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Are we bad asses?
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Yeah!
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Alright.So.
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what do we do?
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Wait.I know!
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How about we go on their ship
and then beat ourselves up!
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And then we can tell
the media they did it!
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Great idea,captain!
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I'll start right now!
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Oh my god.Luke's been hurt
trying to save whales!
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Wait,wait,wait!I've got a better idea!
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How about I pretend to be shot!
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Then we can tell the
media the japanese shot me
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and it'll start a international crisis!
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Wul,wait.We don't wanna
just lie about stuff.
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Why not?
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Because then we're just douche
bags,dude.C'mon,they're right here.
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Let's get hardcore!
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You know what?He's right!
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It's time to bring out the big guns.
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You guys ready?Ready?
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And.throw the stinky butter at them!
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you stink now.
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- Wait that's it?
- Yeah,we make'em stink!
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Ha-ha,your boat is stinky!
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Here,throw one!
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Those guys always covered
in dolphin and whale guts!
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They don't care if they stink!
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C'mon lets break their boat!
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Wul,no,that'd be illegal.
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Yeah.
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I thought you guys
were pirates in a war!
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I'm a pirate in a war!
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Pirates don't worry about the law.
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You guys said you were bad ass!
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We are!People think our
methods are extreme,
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but we'll keep making their boat stink as
long as they are killing whales and dolphins!
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The japanese are scared
of how hardcore we are!
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Paul!
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- Paul?
- What do we do?
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- We don't have a captain!
- Oh,my god!Oh,my god!
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Maybe he's okay.
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UTILITY
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Oh my god!
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What did you do?
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What you Acted like you were doing.
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WHALE WARS GETS BETTER
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Things Actually Happen Now!
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I want to hold them like
they do in texas play
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a little gamble and it's fun
when you're with me********
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russian roulette is not
the same without a gun
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baby,when it's not love,it isn't fun
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New Captain Not a fat
liar like the old one
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I'll get him hot,
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show him what I've got
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WHALE WARS NEW CAST Member
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I'll get him hot
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show him what I got
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Wait for it.
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wait for it.
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Now!
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she get me like nobody
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LITTLE BOY SINKS ANOTHER JAPANESE BOAT!
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Inpo no gaijin!
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Kuso 0 taberu na!
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And now larry king,live!
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My guest tonight is the little boy who
took over the whale wars reality show
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and turned it into a big hit.
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Please welcome,stan marsh and his crew.
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Hey jordon!I'm on larry king,mate!
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So stan,what motivated you,
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what inspired you to get out
there and make a hit tv show?
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No,I -I don't really
care about the tv show.
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I'm just trying to stop the japanese
from killing dolphins and whales.
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Once you became captain
the methods used
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to stop the japanese definitely
became more aggressive.
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Was that the key to
helping boost your ratings?
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No,I don't care about the show.
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We're pirates!
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I just want people to know
that you can stop the japanese
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if you have some real Balls.
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I've got balls!
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Well,there are many people who see
what you're doing as a positive thing,
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and of course many that
see problems with it.
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Joining us now is one of those people,
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and you say stan's
methods are unethical.
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00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:11,780
Larry,you can't just go out and take
matters into your own hands like this.
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00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:15,640
If you want a hit tv show you have
to go through producers,directors,
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people that are in the unions.
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00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:19,980
But sid,you saw the show
before stan took it over.
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00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,410
You have to admit that it was nothing
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but incompetent vegan
Doing absolutely nothing
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and trying to turn it into drama.
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00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:27,520
Yes,but it doesn't justify
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changing the entire show structure that
their old captain had pitched to the network.
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Could we just talk about the
actual whaling problem for a second?
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But their old captain,paul
watson,was an unorganized,
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00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:41,300
incompetent media whore who
thought lying to everyone was okay
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00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,340
as long as it served his cause.
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00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:47,020
Yes,of course everyone knows
that paul watson was a smug,
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00:11:47,020 --> 00:11:50,050
- narcololeptic liar with no credibility but
- Screw this.
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I gotta get back to work.
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On this episode of
real actual whale wars.
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captain marsh searches
for the japanese fleet,
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knowing they could
be absolutely anywhere.
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Would you mind stepping back a little?
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Captain!Captain,some new volunteers
showed up to help us in our crusade.
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00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,870
No,dude,we really can't
take any more volunteers.
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00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:13,070
But they say you know them.
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Alright,dude.This is pretty sweet.
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00:12:16,390 --> 00:12:18,920
- Oh,no.No,no!
- What,dude?
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00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,610
Oh what,so now that I have a hit tv show
you guys care about dolphins and whales?
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We always have.
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00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:24,800
Yeah,totally!
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I asked you guys to
help me and you said no.
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00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:28,460
That's not what we said.
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You said 'stan,me and kenny don't
give two -about stupid ass whales'.
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We were talking about
wales the country.
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Look,if you admit that you are only
doing this because you want to be on tv,
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then I'll consider it.
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Admit you just want to be on tv.
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I just want to be on tv.
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00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,150
Kenny,
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I deserve to be on tv.
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Captain!
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Captain the japanese have
been spotted near buoy 24!
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Takes us out of port!All
hands to stations.
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00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:58,430
Alright.Let's go save
those whales,you guys!
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Captain marsh races his boat to the last
known location of the japanese whalers.
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If he doesn't get there in time,hundreds
of dolphins or whales could die.
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00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:09,450
As soon as we get there we gotta be
ready to deploy the tracking devices!
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We can't let those whales get hurt!
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00:13:12,649 --> 00:13:14,449
What the hell is that?
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We just got rammed.
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00:13:15,830 --> 00:13:17,520
The japanese want to play that way,huh?
251
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,700
It's not the japanese.
252
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,060
What?
253
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,580
On deck,the crew is
surprised at what they saw.
254
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:27,600
The other boat is from deadliest catch.
255
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,670
A crab fishing reality show.
256
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:32,220
You think you're so cool,don't you?
257
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:35,460
You think you're a big boat
reality show on the block?
258
00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:38,180
Take it away men's livelihoods.
259
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,160
what?We're trying to save whales.
260
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:45,180
***************
261
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:47,160
You're show is gay,maN.
262
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,040
Your show is Gay.
263
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,220
Screw this.Turn to port.
264
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,560
But everywhere his
reality show boat turns,
265
00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,900
the crab fishing reality
show blockses its path.
266
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:03,680
Dude,You.
267
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,530
You.
268
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:09,860
It's been three hours and the crab
fishing reality show isn't budging.
269
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:12,130
Captain marsh's boat
is dead in the water.
270
00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:15,760
Can't go after the japanese,can't
help the whales or dolphins.
271
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,430
Once again on whale
wars,nothing is happening.
272
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:23,490
It's pretty typical time
because we know that
273
00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:27,540
every minute we're sitting here
stopped,another whale is dying.
274
00:14:27,710 --> 00:14:30,080
Really tough.It's really hard.
275
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,420
It's like we've dedicated all our times
and our lives to saving these creatures.
276
00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:38,450
*******
277
00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:40,310
Oh,he's taking it especially hard.
278
00:14:40,310 --> 00:14:45,300
He loved dolphins so much,********
279
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,480
he *********** would do anything.
280
00:14:48,481 --> 00:14:49,481
Anything, anything
281
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,570
Crab fishing reality show is doing fine.
282
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:59,930
But for the whale wars crew,it
appears the show is over.
283
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,790
Until a sound is heard.
284
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,890
What was that?
285
00:15:08,170 --> 00:15:10,350
Captain,look!
286
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:21,120
The whales are taking out the
crab fishermen reality show.
287
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,660
It's like they know.
288
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:40,560
They do know.
289
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,850
They know everything I've
been trying to do for them.
290
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,470
Our********* friends of
the sea have saved the day.
291
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:49,740
Because they know that only we
can save them from the japanese.
292
00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:55,410
Bonsai!
293
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,070
Jesus christ!
294
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,610
We got to get somebody
to shoot them with.
295
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:21,070
Look out!
296
00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:40,970
I I can't believe it.
297
00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:42,980
Dude,you know what?
298
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:46,130
Japanese people really
do not like whales.
299
00:17:04,570 --> 00:17:07,090
Well,I'm in japanese prison lord.
300
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,930
Japanese prison got me down.
301
00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:14,650
Said I'm in japanese prison lawwwd,
302
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:17,890
don't belong here.My eyes are round.
303
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,580
Will you stop that?
304
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:23,420
Oh,I'm sorry.Am I making things
uncomfortable for you,stan?
305
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,290
It's your fault me and
kenny are in the mess!
306
00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:28,250
Things are bad enough
without you being a smart ass!
307
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:29,850
There's whales out there
being slaughtered right now
308
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,920
and I can't do anything
about it!So just keep quiet.
309
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,720
You don't have a tv
show anymore,captain,
310
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,780
so you can suck my
japanese imprisoned balls.
311
00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:39,880
I'm in a japanese prison lawd,
312
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,670
japanese balls got me
313
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,870
Kite kure!Akihito sama irashaimasu!
314
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:58,740
So you are the ones who has
been a sinking our boats!
315
00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:00,000
You speak english.
316
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,450
You have caused us many problems!
317
00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:04,520
Set us back many months!
318
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,250
Sir,we actually don't give two
-about you killing whales.Can we go?
319
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,340
Yeah,can we go?
320
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:09,720
Why have you done this?
321
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,150
Why do you insist on making
trouble for the japanese?
322
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,580
Why do you do what you do?
323
00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:16,750
You know that 98% of the
world is against whaling?
324
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,660
Why can't you just stop?
325
00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:23,480
You think you have the
right to tell us what is ok?
326
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,620
I have something to show you.
327
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:34,810
This is hiroshima.
328
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:40,300
Over 50 years ago,this entire
city was destroyed by nuclear bomb.
329
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:46,120
We built this museum so that
we never forget what happened.
330
00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:49,810
What?Dude.
331
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:56,050
At 8:15 am,the people of hiroshima
were just minding their own business,
332
00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:59,930
when out of nowhere,a
flash devastated them all.
333
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:04,600
Women,children,who died in
the flash simply evaporated.
334
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:08,890
Those left alive,suffered
the worst pain of all.
335
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:11,550
Burns,radiation poisoning.
336
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:15,070
For generations the radiation
affected the victims.
337
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,600
Japanese babies born without limbs.
338
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,870
Without eyes!
339
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,610
Sorry.
340
00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:26,440
Little gassy.'Scuse me.
341
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:31,030
140,000 japanese were kill by atom bomb.
342
00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:34,840
We have never recovered
from the memory of that day.
343
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:40,500
It is impossible for a nation to
ever forgive an act so horrible.
344
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:44,350
This picture shows the
plane that dropped the bomb.
345
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,110
It was called the enola gay.
346
00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:51,600
And it was flown by the monsters
who dropped the bomb that day.
347
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,850
Dolphin!
348
00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:54,840
And whale!
349
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,000
where did you get that picture.
350
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:06,540
The americans were nice enough to give
it to us the day after the bombing.
351
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,630
We were so thankful for the picture,
352
00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:11,910
that the next day we
ended our war with america.
353
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:13,850
We will never forgive.
354
00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:16,910
Never rest until they
are all wiped out.
355
00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:18,250
****You.
356
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,980
****You dolphin and whale!
357
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:22,750
So that's what this has all been about.
358
00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:25,750
Dude,it actually wasn't a dolphin
and a whale who bombed hiroshima,
359
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,130
it was the
360
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,510
Dude,they won't rest until whoever is
responsible is completely wiped out.
361
00:20:30,510 --> 00:20:32,200
Right.
362
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,560
Look,I -I think I can
make everything ok here.
363
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,420
Can I just use a phone?
364
00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:41,100
- Hello.
- Stan?
365
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:43,380
Dude,are you sitting at your computer?
366
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,670
I need you to do something for me.
367
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:48,490
Mr.Prime minister,japanese officials.
368
00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:50,000
there's something you need to know.
369
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,400
The photo you were given of
the enola gay was doctored.
370
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,940
Because the real bombers feared
retaliation so badly that
371
00:20:55,940 --> 00:20:58,390
they simply pointed the
finger at somebody else.
372
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:01,730
My government has authorized me to
give you the original photo,unaltered,
373
00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:03,480
so you can finally know the truth.
374
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,780
Dolphins and whales were just
framed by the real bombers.
375
00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:10,960
A chicken and a cow.
376
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,770
Chicken and a cow?
377
00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:17,280
Chicken and a cow?
378
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,520
Chicken and cow used poor
dolphin and whale as scapegoat?
379
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,660
This is outrage!
380
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:28,970
****You,cow!
381
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,400
****You chicken!
382
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,220
****You chicken!
383
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,240
Great job,son.
384
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,200
Now the japanese are normal,like us.
385
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,590
south
parks13e11