1 00:00:07,009 --> 00:00:09,054 * Goin' down to South Park * 2 00:00:09,079 --> 00:00:10,925 * gonna have myself a time. * 3 00:00:10,962 --> 00:00:12,364 *death and sadness everywhere, * 4 00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:14,241 * loneliness and degradation. * 5 00:00:14,272 --> 00:00:17,889 * Goin' down to South Park gonna take my woes with me. * 6 00:00:17,933 --> 00:00:20,529 * nightmares every night, posers spouting "Let's go shopping." * 7 00:00:20,567 --> 00:00:22,225 * headin' down to South Park * 8 00:00:22,262 --> 00:00:24,314 * cause I can not unwind. * 9 00:00:24,346 --> 00:00:27,155 * I like spiders, loss and rain! * * I'm only happy when I'm in pain! * 10 00:00:27,211 --> 00:00:29,282 * I'm goin' down to South Park * 11 00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:33,005 * to die! * 12 00:00:35,154 --> 00:00:38,603 So I cast my body into the trails of blood. 13 00:00:38,626 --> 00:00:42,090 The knife pierces deep, deep into my lonely eyes, 14 00:00:42,122 --> 00:00:45,379 so I can see this black world no more. 15 00:00:45,499 --> 00:00:47,744 Whoa, that's pretty hardcore. 16 00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:49,379 That's real pain right there. 17 00:00:49,499 --> 00:00:52,379 That's how I feel when my mother abuses me. 18 00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:55,379 I just want to escape so she can't hurt me anymore. 19 00:00:56,504 --> 00:00:58,679 Henrietta, sweetie! 20 00:00:58,694 --> 00:01:00,401 Shut up, mom, go away. 21 00:01:00,499 --> 00:01:02,628 Oh, but remember daddy wanted to talk to you 22 00:01:02,652 --> 00:01:04,583 in the living room, my dark little princess. 23 00:01:04,622 --> 00:01:06,100 Stop calling me a princess. 24 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,914 I'm not a beauty queen in a Disney movie. 25 00:01:07,915 --> 00:01:09,761 We'll be waiting in the living room. 26 00:01:09,881 --> 00:01:12,498 God, she just never stops. 27 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:15,892 Oh, goodness, I am so nervous. 28 00:01:15,946 --> 00:01:18,246 - What? - Have a seat, Henrietta. 29 00:01:18,301 --> 00:01:21,498 - Ooh, a little family chitchat. - Shut up, mom. 30 00:01:21,719 --> 00:01:23,885 Henrietta, as you know, your mother and I 31 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:26,498 have been concerned about your behavior for some time. 32 00:01:26,499 --> 00:01:28,766 Are we really doing this again? 33 00:01:28,886 --> 00:01:30,150 We've had a hard time coping 34 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,498 with the dark things you're into, 35 00:01:31,534 --> 00:01:33,379 but we've finally had some counseling. 36 00:01:33,411 --> 00:01:35,171 Apparently we're not the only parents 37 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,775 who have a child that is "emo." 38 00:01:37,971 --> 00:01:40,794 - What? - But daddy and I love our little muffin, 39 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,498 even if she's emo or not. 40 00:01:42,499 --> 00:01:44,102 I'm not a fucking emo. 41 00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:45,840 Don't you even know the fucking diff? 42 00:01:45,932 --> 00:01:47,700 Do you know how your foul language 43 00:01:47,723 --> 00:01:48,850 breaks your mother's heart? 44 00:01:48,904 --> 00:01:51,094 Like calling mommy "demon jizz." 45 00:01:51,214 --> 00:01:54,089 So, listen, sweetie, we've found a camp. 46 00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:54,947 No. 47 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:57,053 A camp which is for troubled kids like you, 48 00:01:57,077 --> 00:02:00,526 and you get to work outside and learn about responsibility. 49 00:02:00,646 --> 00:02:02,980 I'm not going to any fucking camp. 50 00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:04,741 It's for two weeks and when you come back 51 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:07,204 we can talk about earning back some of your privileges. 52 00:02:07,251 --> 00:02:10,498 I won't come back because I'll be fucking dead 53 00:02:10,499 --> 00:02:12,631 I'll walk out of that camp, and I'll walk the streets 54 00:02:12,647 --> 00:02:15,611 until I probably get picked up and gang-banged by criminals 55 00:02:15,626 --> 00:02:17,972 until I'm bleeding out my fucking eyes. 56 00:02:19,114 --> 00:02:20,881 They have a horseshoe pit 57 00:02:20,882 --> 00:02:24,026 where you can challenge the other kids to horseshoes. 58 00:02:25,277 --> 00:02:26,552 And that's all you know? 59 00:02:26,583 --> 00:02:27,897 What else did she say? 60 00:02:27,913 --> 00:02:29,657 She said that her parents called her an emo 61 00:02:29,688 --> 00:02:31,753 and she had to go to this camp for two weeks. 62 00:02:31,873 --> 00:02:33,536 Oh, my God, for two weeks? 63 00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:35,694 - Is she at the camp now? - I don't know. 64 00:02:35,726 --> 00:02:37,470 She texted from the bus they put her on 65 00:02:37,499 --> 00:02:38,815 then she said she wasn't even allowed 66 00:02:38,839 --> 00:02:40,498 to have her cell phone where she was going. 67 00:02:40,499 --> 00:02:42,444 Then all of a sudden, her texts went dark. 68 00:02:42,499 --> 00:02:45,189 - Whoa. - That's fucking creepy, man. 69 00:02:45,627 --> 00:02:47,152 I just can't believe it. 70 00:02:47,272 --> 00:02:50,499 I can't believe parents would do that to their child. 71 00:02:53,499 --> 00:02:55,879 All right, now, you say that you witnessed your friend 72 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,678 being abused by her parents. 73 00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:58,656 Yes. 74 00:02:58,843 --> 00:03:00,681 They called her an emo. 75 00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,951 - What's wrong with that? - Emos suck. 76 00:03:03,982 --> 00:03:06,297 They're vile, self-pitying, depressed assholes. 77 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,135 So why do you think they called her that? 78 00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:09,245 Because she's goth, 79 00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:11,005 and some ignorant people don't know the difference. 80 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,498 What is the difference? 81 00:03:12,499 --> 00:03:14,915 Oh, my God, they're totally different. 82 00:03:14,938 --> 00:03:16,498 Okay, different how? 83 00:03:16,499 --> 00:03:18,778 They're... you know, one is good, 84 00:03:18,786 --> 00:03:20,600 and... and emos are horrible. 85 00:03:20,789 --> 00:03:23,017 They're... you know, they're posers. 86 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,074 Emos suck my goth balls. 87 00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:26,591 All right, all right, think of it this way. 88 00:03:26,711 --> 00:03:29,822 A goth believes that, deep down, the world is totally fucked up. 89 00:03:29,942 --> 00:03:31,863 But an emo thinks that, deep down, 90 00:03:31,983 --> 00:03:33,584 they are totally fucked up. 91 00:03:33,704 --> 00:03:35,263 That's not much of a difference. 92 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:37,343 - That's a huge fucking difference. - Okay, okay, look, 93 00:03:37,463 --> 00:03:39,543 emos are more prone to suicide. 94 00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:40,677 This fucking bitch, man. 95 00:03:40,693 --> 00:03:42,531 But goths are more prone to be depressed 96 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,498 that so many people commit suicide. 97 00:03:44,499 --> 00:03:47,701 Goth's darkness is nihilistic, whereas emo's is cynical. 98 00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:49,875 Wait, I thought we were cynical. 99 00:03:49,995 --> 00:03:52,894 - Wh... whatever, it doesn't matter. - No, see, you're nihilistic. 100 00:03:53,014 --> 00:03:54,357 Oh, yeah, you're right. 101 00:04:01,270 --> 00:04:04,156 Hello? Somebody let me out of here. 102 00:04:04,163 --> 00:04:06,499 You can't treat people like this. 103 00:04:08,903 --> 00:04:12,094 This is fucking ridiculous! What's wrong with you? 104 00:04:13,118 --> 00:04:16,184 I'm gonna go to the fucking cops when I get out of here. 105 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,102 What if she comes back 106 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,299 and she's all preppy and conformist? 107 00:04:36,499 --> 00:04:37,903 She's only been there two weeks. 108 00:04:38,023 --> 00:04:40,061 They can't have changed her that much. 109 00:04:40,181 --> 00:04:42,499 Can they have? 110 00:04:50,932 --> 00:04:53,051 Oh, my God. 111 00:04:54,318 --> 00:04:55,498 Hey, guys. 112 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,900 What the hell have they done to you? 113 00:04:58,020 --> 00:05:00,668 What do you mean? They couldn't do anything. 114 00:05:00,715 --> 00:05:02,068 They can't fix me. 115 00:05:02,188 --> 00:05:04,133 They don't even understand me. 116 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,498 Oh, my God, it's worse than we thought. 117 00:05:08,499 --> 00:05:10,499 They made her emo! 118 00:05:22,499 --> 00:05:24,848 Has she said one word to either one of you guys? 119 00:05:24,888 --> 00:05:25,857 Nothing. 120 00:05:25,881 --> 00:05:27,498 It's like she's a totally different person. 121 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,097 She won't even look at us. 122 00:05:29,181 --> 00:05:30,901 All she does now is hang out with the 123 00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:32,543 douchebag emo kids. 124 00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:37,149 God, P.E. class is for such wannabe posers. 125 00:05:37,269 --> 00:05:39,675 I'd rather kill myself than put on gym shorts. 126 00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:41,731 I wish there'd just be an earthquake 127 00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:43,264 so we could all die. 128 00:05:43,936 --> 00:05:45,665 Ugh, how can she hang out with them? 129 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,245 There must be something else going on here. 130 00:05:53,188 --> 00:05:55,386 Not now, mom! I'm suicidal. 131 00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:57,638 It's not your mom, it's me. 132 00:05:57,669 --> 00:05:59,890 Oh, hey. 133 00:06:00,499 --> 00:06:03,143 What did they do to you at that camp? 134 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,379 What do you mean? 135 00:06:04,402 --> 00:06:06,968 Just the usual group therapy crap. 136 00:06:07,499 --> 00:06:09,078 Don't take this the wrong way, 137 00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:12,498 but I think that place turned you into an emo. 138 00:06:12,685 --> 00:06:15,379 That's ridiculous. I'm not anything. 139 00:06:15,398 --> 00:06:18,198 I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not emo, okay? 140 00:06:18,499 --> 00:06:21,225 Then why are you listening to Sunny Day Real Estate? 141 00:06:22,953 --> 00:06:24,282 I was thinking, 142 00:06:24,402 --> 00:06:26,965 maybe they just made you confused at that place. 143 00:06:27,085 --> 00:06:28,818 Maybe they didn't know what they were doing. 144 00:06:28,938 --> 00:06:30,498 But then I started thinking... 145 00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:34,035 maybe that place turned you emo on purpose. 146 00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:36,858 Like, maybe they knew what they were doing. 147 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:45,031 You should probably stop digging for answers. 148 00:06:45,844 --> 00:06:47,498 What? 149 00:06:47,499 --> 00:06:49,935 There's no winning this for you. 150 00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:52,498 Soon, the entire world will be emo. 151 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,141 It is our time. 152 00:06:54,986 --> 00:06:57,309 No way. 153 00:06:57,778 --> 00:06:59,498 Nobody understands us. 154 00:06:59,499 --> 00:07:03,041 And they won't understand until it is far too late. 155 00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:05,145 Oh, my God, no way! 156 00:07:05,499 --> 00:07:07,379 Do not fight it, Michael. 157 00:07:07,499 --> 00:07:10,603 Is being emo really all that different from being goth? 158 00:07:11,284 --> 00:07:13,379 Join us. 159 00:07:14,365 --> 00:07:15,995 No way! 160 00:07:16,188 --> 00:07:18,471 No way, no way! 161 00:07:20,638 --> 00:07:22,498 Death and despair! 162 00:07:22,499 --> 00:07:23,703 Death and despair! 163 00:07:23,823 --> 00:07:25,054 Death and despair! 164 00:07:25,174 --> 00:07:26,167 Death and desp... 165 00:07:26,511 --> 00:07:27,498 Hello? 166 00:07:27,499 --> 00:07:29,170 It's worse than we thought. 167 00:07:29,499 --> 00:07:31,203 What is, everything? 168 00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:33,933 No, I mean Henrietta. I confronted her, 169 00:07:33,972 --> 00:07:36,005 and she was all like, "I am emo, 170 00:07:36,044 --> 00:07:37,749 and emos are going to rule the world." 171 00:07:37,773 --> 00:07:39,379 And I was like, no way! 172 00:07:39,422 --> 00:07:41,379 And she was like, "yeah, soon it will be too late." 173 00:07:41,401 --> 00:07:43,661 And I was all, no way! No way. 174 00:07:43,677 --> 00:07:45,171 Yeah, so listen, call up Firkle, 175 00:07:45,186 --> 00:07:46,172 and meet me at Village Inn. 176 00:07:46,211 --> 00:07:48,463 I've got to run home, but I'll be there in ten minutes. 177 00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:53,163 Michael? Michael! 178 00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:55,379 Can't now, mom, I've got an emergency. 179 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,636 In the dining room, Michael. Let's go. 180 00:07:58,802 --> 00:08:00,498 Have a seat, son. 181 00:08:00,499 --> 00:08:01,851 Your mom and I have decided 182 00:08:01,852 --> 00:08:03,760 you're going to go away for a little while. 183 00:08:04,088 --> 00:08:05,082 What? 184 00:08:05,202 --> 00:08:06,888 We've been put in touch with this camp 185 00:08:06,927 --> 00:08:08,124 for troubled kids like you and... 186 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,498 What the hell are you talking about? 187 00:08:09,499 --> 00:08:11,651 This place gonna fix you, make you normal child! 188 00:08:12,394 --> 00:08:13,896 No, you gotta listen to me! 189 00:08:13,988 --> 00:08:15,521 You don't know what you're doing! 190 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:17,875 You fucking conformists! 191 00:08:22,499 --> 00:08:24,312 They're evil! 192 00:08:28,981 --> 00:08:31,124 I never thought it would end like this. 193 00:08:31,499 --> 00:08:33,322 I never thought that goths would just be 194 00:08:33,353 --> 00:08:35,629 slowly replaced by emos. 195 00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:38,498 Pete... if they get me, 196 00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:42,542 if I get sent to that camp and I come back emo, 197 00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:44,192 kill me. 198 00:08:44,312 --> 00:08:46,202 Promise that you'll kill me. 199 00:08:46,765 --> 00:08:48,498 I promise. 200 00:08:48,499 --> 00:08:51,498 Hey, you kids need to order something or you need to go. 201 00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:53,498 Not now, lady, we're really depressed. 202 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:56,017 - So what else is new? - This is different, okay! 203 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:58,606 Our two friends are being body-snatched by emos! 204 00:08:58,849 --> 00:09:01,242 There's only one other group who understands emos like we do. 205 00:09:01,297 --> 00:09:03,252 We're gonna have to team up with the vampires. 206 00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:06,012 - Are you crazy? - What choice do we have? 207 00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:08,132 The vampires are our sworn enemies. 208 00:09:08,252 --> 00:09:11,290 We beat up their leader and burned down their lair. 209 00:09:11,345 --> 00:09:14,379 - Don't you remember? - Yeah, I remember. 210 00:09:14,395 --> 00:09:16,288 But it may be a suicide mission, 211 00:09:16,408 --> 00:09:18,954 but we have to walk right into the middle of the vampires 212 00:09:19,074 --> 00:09:20,745 and ask them for help. 213 00:09:26,329 --> 00:09:28,379 Okay, let's all be seated, please. 214 00:09:29,144 --> 00:09:31,787 This is the noon meeting of the vamp kids. 215 00:09:31,907 --> 00:09:34,379 I am Mike, your lord and dark master, per se. 216 00:09:34,499 --> 00:09:35,498 Hail Mike. 217 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,122 Okay, our main order of business is, of course, 218 00:09:38,137 --> 00:09:39,498 the Halloween social. 219 00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,727 We're still looking for volunteers to make the... 220 00:09:43,135 --> 00:09:44,707 It's the goth kids! 221 00:09:51,934 --> 00:09:54,819 Ugh, you spit on me, Larry. 222 00:09:56,499 --> 00:09:57,721 Uh, hey, everybody. 223 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,473 Uh, I know we aren't on the greatest terms right now. 224 00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,491 We realize we called you all queermos 225 00:10:02,499 --> 00:10:04,939 and we're sorry we burned down the hot topic at the mall. 226 00:10:05,059 --> 00:10:06,010 Sorry. 227 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,443 But, uh, we've got a bigger problem here, 228 00:10:08,458 --> 00:10:10,498 and it's all of our problem. 229 00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:12,689 You've got a lot of nerve coming here. 230 00:10:12,705 --> 00:10:14,498 Yeah, shut up, Mike. Listen, okay? 231 00:10:14,499 --> 00:10:17,498 There's a camp that kids like us are being sent to, 232 00:10:17,499 --> 00:10:19,822 and somehow this place is taking kids like us 233 00:10:19,942 --> 00:10:22,012 and turning them emo. 234 00:10:22,132 --> 00:10:24,045 Yeah. 235 00:10:24,061 --> 00:10:25,555 You might not even be able to tell at first. 236 00:10:25,586 --> 00:10:26,751 It could've already happened. 237 00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:28,379 One of you might already be turned. 238 00:10:30,114 --> 00:10:31,687 Okay, hold up. Hold up! 239 00:10:31,807 --> 00:10:35,284 You mean that one of us might not really be a vamp kid? 240 00:10:37,499 --> 00:10:39,445 Uh, right. 241 00:10:39,565 --> 00:10:41,118 Well, whoever you is, 242 00:10:41,126 --> 00:10:43,174 you better get your ass ready to run, motherfucker, 243 00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:44,498 'cause you a damn traitor. 244 00:10:44,499 --> 00:10:47,578 And I'll bet you it's this little nigga right here. 245 00:10:50,799 --> 00:10:53,679 Are you guys gonna go to the fall out boy concert? 246 00:10:53,799 --> 00:10:56,798 I can't, I'm too depressed. I keep cutting myself. 247 00:10:56,799 --> 00:10:58,319 Yeah, I'm cutting myself 248 00:10:58,344 --> 00:11:00,327 to hurt this worthless body that I'm in. 249 00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:02,943 Henrietta, 250 00:11:02,986 --> 00:11:06,058 I baked cookies for your new little emo friends. 251 00:11:06,178 --> 00:11:08,798 Not now, mom! Can't you see I'm hurting? 252 00:11:08,799 --> 00:11:10,798 I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment! 253 00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:13,799 Sorry I'm not the pretty cheerleader you always wanted! 254 00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:18,241 Does she still seem better? 255 00:11:18,284 --> 00:11:19,473 Oh, much better. 256 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:20,756 She didn't call me a bitch, 257 00:11:20,787 --> 00:11:23,422 and she actually apologized to me! 258 00:11:23,799 --> 00:11:25,305 That's more like it. 259 00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:26,926 You know what we should do 260 00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:28,798 after us emos take over the earth? 261 00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:30,993 We should, um, paint the white house black, 262 00:11:31,113 --> 00:11:33,307 and we should have fall out boy play at the super bowl. 263 00:11:34,077 --> 00:11:35,096 We're emos. 264 00:11:35,097 --> 00:11:37,274 When we rule the earth, we're not gonna have football. 265 00:11:37,394 --> 00:11:38,799 Oh, yeah. 266 00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,517 And you say she just showed up like this? 267 00:11:42,561 --> 00:11:43,481 You know Henrietta. 268 00:11:43,493 --> 00:11:45,189 That thing in there is not Henrietta. 269 00:11:45,309 --> 00:11:47,466 That blonde emo in there is Sarah Collins. 270 00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:49,399 She was a vamp kid two weeks ago! 271 00:11:49,799 --> 00:11:51,798 You want me to go in there and waste these motherfuckers? 272 00:11:51,799 --> 00:11:53,009 I'll do it. 273 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:54,798 We can't just go in there and kick their asses. 274 00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:56,798 We have to stop this thing at its source. 275 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:57,798 Indeed. 276 00:11:58,101 --> 00:12:00,498 If there is some kind of black magic at work, 277 00:12:00,535 --> 00:12:02,679 creating these monsters, then we will have to 278 00:12:02,731 --> 00:12:05,240 use our most powerful vampiric abilities to stop it. 279 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,798 - Do you mean... - Yes, my child of darkness. 280 00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:09,414 We must call upon the powers 281 00:12:09,427 --> 00:12:11,754 of the vamp kids' most sacred entity, per se. 282 00:12:12,011 --> 00:12:15,064 Only he can help us in this darkest time. 283 00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:17,792 This calls for a summoning. 284 00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:27,209 We call upon the creator of all that is dark, 285 00:12:27,265 --> 00:12:29,474 the godfather of death and despair, 286 00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:31,288 Edgar Allan Poe, 287 00:12:31,313 --> 00:12:33,798 your followers in darkness beg for your help. 288 00:12:35,799 --> 00:12:37,552 We summon to the world of the living 289 00:12:37,577 --> 00:12:39,103 the great Edgar Allan Poe, 290 00:12:39,154 --> 00:12:41,018 knower of all this is misery. 291 00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:44,065 Your children need special guidance, per se. 292 00:12:45,135 --> 00:12:46,530 This is your plan? 293 00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:48,798 Try to summon Edgar Allan Poe back from the dead? 294 00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:50,935 Edgar Allan Poe was the original vamp kid. 295 00:12:50,991 --> 00:12:52,798 No, he was the original goth, 296 00:12:52,799 --> 00:12:54,798 but he's been dead for 150 years. 297 00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:55,808 Hey, look, man, 298 00:12:55,877 --> 00:12:59,368 all genres of gothic subcultures are derivative of Poe's work... 299 00:12:59,599 --> 00:13:00,798 Motherfucker. 300 00:13:00,799 --> 00:13:02,533 Look, we came to you for help, 301 00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:04,679 and all you've done since then is waste our time. 302 00:13:06,982 --> 00:13:08,799 Holy shit, look! 303 00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:13,082 Where am I? What is this place? 304 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,248 It's him! It's Edgar Allan Poe. 305 00:13:16,642 --> 00:13:19,395 Why have the living summoned me from my rest? 306 00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:21,428 Uh, okay, okay, listen, 307 00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,311 there's this camp for troubled kids, right? 308 00:13:23,343 --> 00:13:24,606 Only they aren't helping kids, 309 00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:26,795 they're purposely turning them into emos. 310 00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:28,322 Emos? 311 00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:31,644 Ew, my God, emos are such wannabe conformists. 312 00:13:32,483 --> 00:13:34,228 - Yeah, oh, yes. - Right? 313 00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:35,956 Children of darkness, 314 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,758 I would help you, but I fear I cannot be seen 315 00:13:38,799 --> 00:13:40,454 with a bunch of douchey vamp kids 316 00:13:40,466 --> 00:13:42,581 and their poser-ass plastic fangs. 317 00:13:42,969 --> 00:13:44,679 - Thank you! - Hey! 318 00:13:44,799 --> 00:13:46,153 I'm just saying it's nice to know 319 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,617 that Edgar Allan Poe agrees with us. 320 00:13:47,798 --> 00:13:49,181 Agrees with who? 321 00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:50,777 Is that red dye in your hair 322 00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:53,599 or did a blood demon take a shit on your head, poser? 323 00:13:53,655 --> 00:13:55,169 Uhoh, he got you there, nigga. 324 00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:56,871 Okay, look, we're running out of time. 325 00:13:56,883 --> 00:13:58,554 You have to help us stop the emos. 326 00:13:58,799 --> 00:13:59,893 Why should I? 327 00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:00,881 Just 'cause you summoned me 328 00:14:00,894 --> 00:14:02,679 doesn't mean you're the boss of me. 329 00:14:02,799 --> 00:14:04,435 Uh, yeah, it kind of does. 330 00:14:04,555 --> 00:14:05,798 Oh, okay, mom. 331 00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:08,799 Let's go fight the emos, mom. 332 00:14:13,232 --> 00:14:15,265 What... where you ta... 333 00:14:15,385 --> 00:14:17,412 No! No! 334 00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:19,798 What the hell? 335 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,798 Oh, my God. 336 00:14:24,043 --> 00:14:25,463 Get me out of here! 337 00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:27,822 Let me go! 338 00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:30,612 It's best you don't upset them. 339 00:14:31,557 --> 00:14:33,798 What the hell are you doing to people? 340 00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:36,124 Not me. I just work for them. 341 00:14:36,244 --> 00:14:37,482 They're not evil, you know. 342 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,190 They're just misunderstood. 343 00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:42,362 All I do is help the emos get into their human host. 344 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,301 They promised me, when they take over earth, 345 00:14:44,302 --> 00:14:46,492 I can have a cabin on the lake and all the steak I can eat. 346 00:14:46,892 --> 00:14:49,401 Wait a minute. Emos are plants? 347 00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:52,397 Shh, shh, it's okay. 348 00:14:52,429 --> 00:14:54,679 Not just any plant. They're very unique. 349 00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:56,139 Very special! 350 00:14:56,259 --> 00:14:58,298 Nobody understands them. 351 00:14:59,111 --> 00:15:01,007 Emo-claris americanus. 352 00:15:01,032 --> 00:15:02,221 Wonderful species, 353 00:15:02,341 --> 00:15:04,466 except for their tendencies of self-mutilation 354 00:15:04,497 --> 00:15:06,798 and the need for other species to acknowledge their pain. 355 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,679 Oh, it all makes sense now. 356 00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:12,062 I'm sorry! Sorry, emo king! 357 00:15:12,182 --> 00:15:13,751 Oh, no, I wasn't talking to him. 358 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,123 I mean, I was, but... Yes. 359 00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:17,468 Yes, I understand. 360 00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:19,257 Right away. 361 00:15:20,497 --> 00:15:22,248 No! What are you doing? 362 00:15:22,249 --> 00:15:23,798 I don't want to be emo! 363 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,152 You just don't understand. 364 00:15:25,164 --> 00:15:26,503 You'll understand them soon. 365 00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:28,798 What the... 366 00:15:28,799 --> 00:15:30,798 It's quicker if you don't fight it. 367 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:33,311 No! Nooo! 368 00:15:40,155 --> 00:15:41,169 All right, listen up. 369 00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:42,233 Once we find our friend, 370 00:15:42,264 --> 00:15:43,959 we gotta torch the place and get out. 371 00:15:45,224 --> 00:15:47,732 Dude, Edgar, can you not smoke in the car? 372 00:15:47,799 --> 00:15:49,341 You can't tell me what to do. 373 00:15:49,385 --> 00:15:51,437 Who elected you the mayor of me? 374 00:15:51,557 --> 00:15:53,679 Put it out, Edgar. It's annoying everybody. 375 00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,316 God, you guys are so lame. 376 00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:56,385 And if you want my help, 377 00:15:56,404 --> 00:15:58,212 you better all stop calling me Edgar. 378 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,588 Well, that's your name, isn't it? 379 00:15:59,639 --> 00:16:01,679 That's the name my stupid parents gave me. 380 00:16:01,799 --> 00:16:03,743 I like to be called by my goth name, 381 00:16:03,799 --> 00:16:05,326 Nightpain. 382 00:16:05,363 --> 00:16:06,579 Oh, my God. 383 00:16:06,677 --> 00:16:08,510 What? You guys are posers! 384 00:16:08,892 --> 00:16:10,611 Hey, just so you all know, 385 00:16:10,731 --> 00:16:12,679 if one of you ain't who they say they is, 386 00:16:12,696 --> 00:16:14,730 and we get inside that base and you reveal 387 00:16:14,761 --> 00:16:16,895 you actually one of them emo motherfuckers in disguise, 388 00:16:17,015 --> 00:16:19,022 I will go crazy on your ass. 389 00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,798 If one of us is a traitor, 390 00:16:20,799 --> 00:16:22,756 it's probably your wannabe vampire leader. 391 00:16:22,876 --> 00:16:24,746 Oh, fuck off, Nightpain. 392 00:16:24,799 --> 00:16:26,172 Make me, poser. 393 00:16:44,111 --> 00:16:46,007 Michael? You here? 394 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:47,934 I feel like we're being watched. 395 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,168 Dude, Michael, are you okay? 396 00:17:03,212 --> 00:17:04,999 Kick it over. Stop the plant! 397 00:17:06,715 --> 00:17:09,181 Oh! Oh, thank God you're here. 398 00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,506 Emos are plants, 399 00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,915 and they're invading human bodies. 400 00:17:11,946 --> 00:17:13,373 All right, we're gonna get you out of here, 401 00:17:13,404 --> 00:17:15,067 and then we're gonna burn this whole place down. 402 00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:17,552 I'm sorry, 403 00:17:17,602 --> 00:17:19,773 but I'm afraid that's not the plan. 404 00:17:20,042 --> 00:17:21,788 You did very good. 405 00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:25,467 The emo plants are pleased with your dedication. 406 00:17:25,886 --> 00:17:27,988 Firkle, all this time we thought you were goth. 407 00:17:28,038 --> 00:17:29,840 How long have you been emo? 408 00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:36,716 Don't you see we can't stop them? 409 00:17:36,836 --> 00:17:38,743 We might as well join 'em. 410 00:17:40,489 --> 00:17:42,754 Yes, emo king, right away. 411 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,382 The emo king wants us to proceed at once. 412 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,704 Ugh, let us go, you ultimate conformists! 413 00:17:48,824 --> 00:17:51,287 Don't fight it. It's quicker that way. 414 00:17:51,407 --> 00:17:54,017 Oh, God, I'm starting to feel emo. 415 00:17:54,317 --> 00:17:56,676 Wait a minute, where the hell is Edgar Allan Poe? 416 00:17:56,796 --> 00:17:58,315 He said he was over this 417 00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,279 and was gonna hang out at the Village Inn. 418 00:18:00,536 --> 00:18:01,562 What? 419 00:18:05,473 --> 00:18:06,836 Hey, are you gonna order any food 420 00:18:06,842 --> 00:18:09,182 or are you just gonna sit there and drink coffee all day? 421 00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:11,860 Leave me alone. I just want coffee. 422 00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:15,045 - Little prick. - Bitch. 423 00:18:15,165 --> 00:18:15,996 Poe? 424 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,173 Edgar Allan Poe, where are you? 425 00:18:19,149 --> 00:18:20,075 What the hell are you doing? 426 00:18:20,088 --> 00:18:21,114 You're supposed to be helping us. 427 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,697 I can't right now. 428 00:18:22,728 --> 00:18:25,350 I'm dealing with a lot, and I just have a lot of anxiety. 429 00:18:25,418 --> 00:18:27,802 Look, we summoned you to help us save the world. 430 00:18:27,864 --> 00:18:28,998 What's the point? 431 00:18:28,999 --> 00:18:31,337 Save some people so some other people can be lame? 432 00:18:31,399 --> 00:18:34,414 And then those lame-os can be lame to some other posers? 433 00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,717 God, he is such a downer. 434 00:18:38,163 --> 00:18:40,026 Just let the spores inside you. 435 00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:41,634 Stop fighting it. 436 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,605 Wait, look! 437 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,702 Okay, I'm here, posers. 438 00:18:46,822 --> 00:18:48,954 Nightpain! Destroy the plant leader! 439 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,231 The leader, over there! 440 00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:53,314 What do you want me to do? 441 00:18:53,371 --> 00:18:54,641 Shoot it! 442 00:18:55,223 --> 00:18:57,243 Really? Shoot a plant? 443 00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:58,570 Shoot it! 444 00:19:03,369 --> 00:19:04,669 Wait a minute. 445 00:19:05,014 --> 00:19:06,265 What is this? 446 00:19:06,277 --> 00:19:07,265 This says it was bought 447 00:19:07,284 --> 00:19:10,174 at Lowes Home and Garden for $29.95. 448 00:19:10,637 --> 00:19:12,477 Lowes Home and Garden? 449 00:19:13,577 --> 00:19:15,173 Hey, these are just plants. 450 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,311 No, they... they talk to me. 451 00:19:17,431 --> 00:19:20,435 No, they're just, like, ficus plants in vibrating pots. 452 00:19:20,555 --> 00:19:22,306 - But... - Looks like it's over, 453 00:19:22,337 --> 00:19:23,582 Harold Flannigan! 454 00:19:23,702 --> 00:19:26,223 So we have just one question for you... 455 00:19:26,511 --> 00:19:28,556 are you scared? 456 00:19:28,788 --> 00:19:31,447 - What do you mean? - Are you scared? 457 00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,718 - Yes! - That's good! 458 00:19:33,731 --> 00:19:35,188 'Cause you're on, 459 00:19:35,232 --> 00:19:37,347 "Yes, I Was Scared!" 460 00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,255 What? 461 00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:46,257 Look, look at the camera right there. 462 00:19:46,307 --> 00:19:48,372 Oh, my God, are you serious? 463 00:19:48,492 --> 00:19:50,280 Your wife Sarah put you up to this. 464 00:19:50,336 --> 00:19:52,382 Ha ha, I got you! 465 00:19:53,183 --> 00:19:54,421 This is a prank? 466 00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:56,785 Oh, man, that's good. They got us good. 467 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,289 I turned traitor for no reason? 468 00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,053 Did you know about this? 469 00:20:01,097 --> 00:20:02,912 I have no idea what's going on. 470 00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:05,240 Howard, did you suspect at all that the guardening job 471 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,348 at a camp for troubled teams was a set up? 472 00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:09,300 No, they really had me convinced! 473 00:20:09,356 --> 00:20:11,315 And you didn't suspect anything 474 00:20:11,346 --> 00:20:13,767 when we had plants tell you to turn goths and vamp kids 475 00:20:13,805 --> 00:20:16,576 into emos when really they're exactly the same thing? 476 00:20:16,670 --> 00:20:18,459 I guess I should have figured it out. 477 00:20:18,472 --> 00:20:19,454 I'm an idiot. 478 00:20:20,343 --> 00:20:21,551 Tune in again next week, 479 00:20:21,632 --> 00:20:23,628 when we make a woman from Milwaukee 480 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,418 think she's working at a haunted abortion clinic. 481 00:20:32,086 --> 00:20:33,656 So, my friends, 482 00:20:33,694 --> 00:20:35,652 have you made the transformation? 483 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,350 Uh... Henrietta, we have some bad news. 484 00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:42,265 The plants you think took over your body and made you emo... 485 00:20:42,528 --> 00:20:43,867 They're just plants... 486 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:45,662 from Lowes Home and Garden. 487 00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:49,892 It was all a prank by some douchey network reality show. 488 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,998 No. 489 00:20:51,999 --> 00:20:53,958 There's an organic spore in my head 490 00:20:53,977 --> 00:20:56,486 that made me switch cliques so easily. 491 00:20:56,961 --> 00:20:59,433 No, you just kind of did it on your own. 492 00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:02,217 Oh, my God. 493 00:21:03,043 --> 00:21:05,614 This is so embarrassing. 494 00:21:06,258 --> 00:21:07,979 Uh, hang on. 495 00:21:08,048 --> 00:21:09,906 What I meant to say was, 496 00:21:10,026 --> 00:21:11,764 we just infiltrated the emo lair 497 00:21:11,808 --> 00:21:14,104 and we torched the plant leader. 498 00:21:22,212 --> 00:21:23,998 I... it's me! 499 00:21:23,999 --> 00:21:26,642 I'm... I'm me again! 500 00:21:26,855 --> 00:21:29,270 Oh, my God, I'm all better. 501 00:21:29,390 --> 00:21:30,713 Thanks, you guys. 502 00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:33,549 Henrietta, I have dinner ready. 503 00:21:33,586 --> 00:21:34,663 Shut up, mom! 504 00:21:34,681 --> 00:21:36,308 Leave me alone, you conformist 505 00:21:36,327 --> 00:21:38,154 bag of demon jizz! 506 00:21:39,355 --> 00:21:40,362 Fatty! 507 00:21:40,838 --> 00:21:45,291 - synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 508 00:21:45,411 --> 00:21:47,714 Ok, so Ike, do you have any questions? 509 00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:49,854 You're fucking stupid, Kyle! 510 00:21:50,379 --> 00:21:51,886 That's not a question. 511 00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:53,001 All right, 512 00:21:53,058 --> 00:21:55,047 how did yo uget so fucking stupid, Kyle? 513 00:21:55,228 --> 00:21:57,543 Ike is back in an all new South Park, 514 00:21:57,555 --> 00:21:58,832 next Wednesday at 10. 515 00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:00,296 What the fuck is going on?