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00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,753
All right, everyone. Listen up.
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00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,497
Today, we're gonna be
showing you some art
3
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,044
from our Asian-American
students, and ...
4
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:43,760
Damn it, Leslie!
Shut your fucking pie hole!
5
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:44,878
...From our
Asian-American students
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00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,255
presented by
student-body president
7
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,256
Wendy Testaberger.
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00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,428
Hey, guys.
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00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,347
As you know,
we have several new students
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00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,684
here at
South Park Elementary.
11
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,679
We have been getting to know
some of the Asian girls,
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00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,933
who have introduced us
to an art style called yaoi.
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Yaoi is a blend
of emotion and beauty
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involving two people
whose love is looked down upon.
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00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,652
The art tries to show
that all love is magical,
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00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,867
like in Lisa Akimoto's piece,
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00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,453
Forbidden Love."
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00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,410
What?!
19
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,078
Kelly Zhou goes
a bit more whimsical
20
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,577
Moonlight Dance."
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Dude, what the fuck?
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In yaoi art, the seme, or "top,"
23
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:25,465
is usually dominating
the uke, or "bottom,"
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00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,759
as demonstrated
in Heather Nishimura's
25
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,382
Boizu Rabu."
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00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,140
But yaoi can branch out
to other things, as well...
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00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,137
Uh-oh.
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00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:39,984
...as we see here in
"Lily, Frog, Tweek, and Craig."
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I just don't get it.
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I mean, Tweek and Craig
aren't gay, right?
31
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,991
No.
We would know.
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00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,782
Well, but then why would
Asian girls draw them like that?
33
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:53,155
Yeah, what is
this yaoi thing all about?
34
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,782
I'm so c-confused.
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00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,704
And if it can happen
to Tweek and Craig,
36
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,623
could it happen
to any of us?
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Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
38
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Uh, excuse me.
Why are you doing this?
39
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,259
Oh, hi, Craig.
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00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,639
What?
What did she say?
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00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,101
I don't know. That was Korean.
I'm Japanese.
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00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,890
What is going on, huh?!
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00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,139
Me and him aren't together!
Why is this happening?!
44
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,684
Everyone thinks I'm gay!
45
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What if my parents find out?!
Aah!
46
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,436
All right, guys,
I know there's been
47
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,608
a lot of rumors
flying around.
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00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,198
Just wanted to check in, see if
you have any questions for me.
49
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,317
Why are the Asian girls drawing
pictures of us being gay?
50
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:32,444
What's wrong with being gay?
Nothing wrong with that.
51
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,071
But we aren't.
I'm not.
52
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,197
I'm not either!
53
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,199
That is completely
irrelevant, okay?
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00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,201
What matters, and the reason
I brought you in here,
55
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,203
is that you understand
affirmative consent.
56
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,204
What's that?
57
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,297
If there is
a romantic relationship here,
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00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,711
you have to make sure
your partner is comfortable
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00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,379
with any sexual exploration.
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00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,218
Aah!
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00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,053
Now, in a gay relationship,
it gets a little trickier,
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00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,968
but you still have to follow
some guidelines, all right?
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00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:52,965
But I'm not gay!
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00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,262
I don't care
about that, bro!
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00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,477
Tweek, if ...
and I'm only saying if ...
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00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,470
at some point you wanted
to touch Craig's penis,
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00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,313
you can't just go grabbing
for it, all right?
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00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,057
You would need to say
something like,
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00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,355
"Craig, is it all right with you
if I touch your penis?"
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00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,728
Okay?
Let's try it out.
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00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:06,694
No!
72
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:07,984
You want two weeks detention
instead?!
73
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,903
This shit's important!
74
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,366
Craig, can I touch
your penis?
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00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:12,359
Okay. Good.
76
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,736
Now, Craig, you might say,
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00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,579
"You may touch my penis.
I'm comfortable with that."
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00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,407
Or, of course,
you could say,
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00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,501
"No, you may not touch my penis
at this time."
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00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:22,995
No, you may not.
81
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,747
Okay.
Now we're getting somewhere.
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00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,339
Now, Craig,
what would you say
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00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,629
if you wanted to take a gander
at Tweek's asshole?
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00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,259
Randy, you should have
a talk with Stan.
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00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,757
For what?
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00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,599
I guess something happened
at school today
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involving two of Stan's friends
being gay.
88
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:40,933
What?
89
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,773
Yeah, Stan seems
really perplexed.
90
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,358
Wow.
91
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,443
Our town has only had
a Whole Foods for three weeks,
92
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,609
and we already have
our first gay kids.
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So cool.
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00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,905
Go talk to him, Randy,
and be delicate.
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Hey, bud.
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00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,618
How's it hanging?
97
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,368
I'm confused, Dad.
There was this thing at school.
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00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,584
Well, guess what.
99
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,046
You've got a really
progressive P.C. dad
100
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,461
who knows all about
this stuff, okay?
101
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,255
Go ahead.
Ask me anything.
102
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,503
I just don't understand
how it's decided.
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00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,301
Ah, well, you see,
it's a combination
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00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,642
of genetic, hormonal,
and environmental influences.
105
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,761
No, I mean, like,
what makes the Asians decide
106
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,559
who they're gonna make gay?
107
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,520
The Asians?
108
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,313
The Asians decide
who's gonna be gay?
109
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,277
Uh, uh, yeah.
Yeah, they do.
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00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,646
Uh, the Asians just,
you know ...
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They just pick
who they pick,
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and, um, so it's
the way it's always been.
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So, you've heard of yaoi?
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Yeah, of course.
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Yaoi, anal intercourse,
Maui Zaui.
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00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,875
I-I know
all this stuff, Stan.
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Oh, hey, Thomas!
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Hey, we heard
about Craig.
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We think
it's just terrific.
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00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,468
What about Craig?
121
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Thomas!
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I'm so glad
that Craig is finally happy.
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Hey, it's Craig's dad,
everybody!
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00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,187
Tweek's out of coffee, honey.
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00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,031
Oh, here you go, kiddo.
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Tweek, is there anything
you want to talk to us about?
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No.
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Well, we heard
that you're gay.
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And I want you to know we've
never been so proud of you.
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Oh, God!
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00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,123
We thought
you were just a spaz,
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00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:34,502
but to know you've got
so much going on inside...
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00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,048
We're so proud of you,
Tweek.
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Knowing what I know now,
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I'm gonna be
a much better dad to you.
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In fact, I just ...
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I just want to give you
some money, Tweek.
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Can I give you some money?
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Here.
I-l love you so much, son.
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00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,659
Dude, Tweek and Craig.
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It's just so weird.
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If they've been gay
this whole time,
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have they been
checking me out?
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00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,039
I'm pretty sure
Craig has seen my wiener.
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Should I kick his ass?
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Oh, come on!
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00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,417
What's wrong with two guys
liking each other?
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00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,168
I just don't understand it,
Cupid Me.
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00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,045
Wanting to, like,
kiss a dude?
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But if love is love,
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then it takes form in all shapes
and sizes. Tee hee!
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I guess just because
I don't understand it
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doesn't mean
I shouldn't support it.
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All right.
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00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,726
Maybe you can
help them along.
156
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Really? Can I?
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Yes, Cupid Me.
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00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,482
But make it quick,
and don't let anyone see you.
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Oh, thank you!
I will!
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Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee!
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00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,029
Tee hee hee!
162
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,957
Tee hee hee!
Tee hee!
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00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:14,203
You just need
a little spark of magic.
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Tee hee hee!
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And now I'm gonna pee
in your mouth.
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00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,174
Ooh, love is in the air!
167
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Did you do it,
Cupid Me?
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I hit him
with my love arrow,
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and then I peed in his mouth
just for fun.
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That's awesome!
171
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,354
That's so sweet!
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00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,393
I thought
you might like that.
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Yeah, dude.
You're hilarious.
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00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,518
And do you think
I'm cute, too?
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'Cause I think
you're kind of cute.
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00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,228
Stop that, Cupid Me.
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I told you I'm not homosexual.
Okay? It's not funny.
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00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,949
Oh, well. At least Tweek
and Craig are in love now.
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00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:48,036
Yep. School tomorrow
should be really interesting.
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00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,871
And so then my dad
talked to me about it.
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00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:51,706
Yeah?
182
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,917
And my dad says Asians
have always done this,
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00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,581
and they, like,
do make people gay.
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- You guys! You guys! Hurry!
- What?
185
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,914
It's ... It's
Tweek and Craig, dude!
186
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,882
They're about to have sex!
187
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,502
You got
a fucking problem, man?
188
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,094
You're the one
with the fucking problem!
189
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,054
I told you to stay
100 yards from me!
190
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,845
You better not
fucking push me again, man!
191
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,558
Oh, God, you guys.
Get a room.
192
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,190
Hello. Mr. Tucker?
193
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:22,437
I need to inform you
that your son
194
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,280
was in an altercation
at school today.
195
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,116
Craig?
Craig got in a fight?
196
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,530
Yes, with his boyfriend.
197
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,073
Just a lovers' quarrel,
probably.
198
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,287
God damn it.
199
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,781
Something to be expected
in relationships.
200
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,954
Apparently, there were
no affirmative-consent issues,
201
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,042
as your son knows
the right way
202
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,376
to play with
another boy's penis.
203
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,962
Oh, God.
204
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,752
There's not gonna be
any disciplinary action.
205
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,294
Since they are gay,
we want to be supportive.
206
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,382
So we're just gonna
send them on home
207
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,467
with some money, all right?
208
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,552
All right,
you have a nice day.
209
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,671
Money?
210
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,441
Uh, hi. Mr. Jinping?
211
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,734
Thanks for taking my call.
212
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,324
I was just wondering
if you could shed some light
213
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,660
on how your people
decide who will be gay
214
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:11,994
and who will be straight.
215
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,455
What?!
216
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,871
I'm sorry. I-I don't speak
Asian, but, urn...
217
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:17,662
Oh, uh ... Oh!
218
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,037
Y-Yaoi. Yaoi, yes?
219
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,162
Boyzu love-u.
220
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,085
H-How does that work?
221
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,753
That come from Japan.
222
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,717
Oh, it's Japan
that decides?
223
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,462
How the hell do they actually
make people ga...
224
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,304
And Japan, of course,
225
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,844
is who does the yaoi
to make people gay.
226
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:36,596
They are dogs
who refuse not apologize
227
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,266
to the Chinese Republic!
228
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,264
Uh-huh. Yes.
229
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,938
That, of course, I do already
know about homosexuality.
230
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:47,230
Hi. Flower delivery
for Eric Cartman.
231
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,574
Oh, my.
How beautiful!
232
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:53,116
Oh, look, sweetie!
Someone sent you flowers.
233
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,705
"Can't we just try? TeeHee."
234
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,165
Oh, man.
235
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,659
Who are they from, hon?
236
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,912
Someone who needs
a real talking to.
237
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,414
Look, it's flattering, okay?
238
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:05,836
But it doesn't change the fact
239
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,504
that there's nothing here
for you to keep pursuing.
240
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,925
Tee hee hee! Aw, come on.
Let's be like Tweek and Craig.
241
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,797
Everyone thinks they're cool.
242
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,596
You are wasting your time.
I'm not attracted to guys.
243
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,266
But I'm so attracted to you.
244
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,684
I realize that, and I'm sorry.
245
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:23,103
I need you to stop bothering me.
246
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,477
This is done.
247
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,821
I'm just not a homosexual.
248
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,280
Well, hello, Craig.
249
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,954
Honey, it's Craig.
250
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,543
Aww, hi, Craig.
251
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,752
Is Tweek home?
252
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,464
He sure is.
Come on in.
253
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,463
Would you like to have
some coffee, Craig?
254
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,682
No, thank you.
I just want to see Tweek.
255
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:56,845
Aww.
256
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,388
Tweek's just
up in his room playing.
257
00:11:58,509 --> 00:11:59,601
You can go on up.
258
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:03,599
Oh, uh, but keep the door open,
all right?
259
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,481
They're so gay.
260
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,821
Aargh! Aah! Unh!
261
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,111
Aah!
262
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,233
Hey, dude.
263
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:13,904
Aah!
264
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,823
No! No!
What are you doing here?
265
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,117
Tweek, calm down.
We have to put a stop to this.
266
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,535
There's no stopping it!
267
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,078
The whole world wants me
to be something I'm not!
268
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,702
Me, too, dude. But there's
something we can do.
269
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,078
What?!
270
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,922
We have to come out
and say we're gay.
271
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,507
What?!
Are you insane?!
272
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:30,967
- That's got to be one of ...
- Tweek, Tweek!
273
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,337
Because if we're gay,
then we can break up.
274
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,463
And if we break up,
no more pictures.
275
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,807
We just have to stage
a fake breakup
276
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,346
in front of the Asian girls.
277
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,016
Like acting?! No, man.
That is way too much pressure.
278
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,388
You can do it, Tweek.
279
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,140
You're capable of more
than you think.
280
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,188
Ugh!
I'm a terrible actor.
281
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:51,029
You just follow my lead and try
and make it believable, okay?
282
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,614
On, God. Okay.
on, God!
283
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,948
What did I do wrong,
huh?
284
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,490
Everyone's so damn happy,
285
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,205
but ... but why did this
have to happen to my son?
286
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,370
What did I do to
make my son like this?
287
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,210
Hey, hey, whoa.
You didn't do anything.
288
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,170
Oh, what?
You know about this?
289
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,586
Yeah, let me handle this, guys.
I'm P.C.
290
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,960
Look, Thomas, you need
to understand that being gay
291
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,427
isn't a decision.
292
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,922
You know, a lot of people
think that Asians decide
293
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,514
who's gay and who's not.
294
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,974
But it isn't all Asians.
295
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:22,435
It's just specifically
the Japanese, okay?
296
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:23,269
What?
297
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,390
Why do the Japanese make
some people gay and others not?
298
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,858
Well, it goes back
to World War II
299
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,818
and atrocities
that happened in China
300
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,733
called the Rape of Don King.
301
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,198
Well, you sure know
a lot about this.
302
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,692
Yes, I do.
303
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,568
No, dude.
I looked it up.
304
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,071
Yaoi is just an art style
for girls by girls
305
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,539
because they like fictionalizing
two guys in a relationship.
306
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,454
- But why?
- I don't know.
307
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:46,622
But the point is,
308
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,586
there's nothing about it
that means Tweek and Craig
309
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,250
are actually gay at all.
310
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,675
Hey, Tweek.
Hold up.
311
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,796
Listen, it's just not
going to work.
312
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,547
What?!
Why not?!
313
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,676
I'm sorry, Tweek, but we can't
lie to ourselves anymore.
314
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,770
Yes, we are gay.
But we do not belong together.
315
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:09,016
We don't belong together?
What suddenly changed, Craig?
316
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,814
It's just that people
are different. That's all.
317
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,028
Uh-huh.
And who the hell is Michael?
318
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,398
Huh?
You want to tell me that?!
319
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,490
Uh, what are you ...
What are you talking about?
320
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,906
I went through your phone when
we went out last night, Craig.
321
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,951
I saw your text to Michael
about hooking up with him!
322
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,369
Wait, uh ...
T-That's not what happened.
323
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:27,868
Oh, it's not?!
324
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:31,667
No. L-Look, we both know
this is for the better.
325
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,665
Oh, don't use that
lame shit on me, man.
326
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:34,712
You don't want to feel bad,
327
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,209
so you try and tell me
what I want?!
328
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,382
Tweek, don't make me out
to be the bad guy here.
329
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,629
No, you're not the bad guy.
330
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,347
You're never the bad guy,
are you?!
331
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,558
You ... You just step on people
and you use them!
332
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:44,596
You're going too far, dude.
333
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,185
This is, like,
totally not necessary.
334
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,680
I'm going too far?!
What is wrong with you?!
335
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,523
This wasn't part
of the plan.
336
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,268
Well, guess what, Craig!
Love doesn't follow a plan!
337
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,736
Yeah!
338
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,650
I was totally wrong
about you.
339
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,115
I opened myself up
and let you in.
340
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,859
But you've got spikes, man.
341
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,077
You've got spikes.
342
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,539
Tweek!
343
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:16,378
Dude, seriously?
Seriously?!
344
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,349
They ... They broke up?
345
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,877
What are you doing?
This place isn't you.
346
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,088
I'm just here
to pick up on guys.
347
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,457
Why? Are you jealous?
348
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,753
No, I'm not.
349
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,922
I'm here because
we need you right now.
350
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,796
Oh, now you need me, huh?
Fuck you, dude.
351
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:45,968
Fuck you.
352
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,511
What is that kid
doing here?
353
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,352
He's just kind of
talking to himself.
354
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,814
The whole town is sad.
Cupid Me, you have to help.
355
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,309
Well, I guess I could
try and help.
356
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,856
In return for just
one date?
357
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,445
I'm not homosexual!
358
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,406
Then I guess
I'm not interested.
359
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,152
All right. One date.
360
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,529
But only if you help get
Tweek and Craig back together.
361
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:12,123
Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee hee!
362
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,208
Hey, kid, what do you
think you're doing here?
363
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:15,872
Oh, hey,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
364
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,122
I'm not here for me.
I'm here for my friend, okay?
365
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,673
Hi.
ls Craig here, sir?
366
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,263
Why can't you quit him?
367
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,927
Thomas.
368
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,302
Five minutes.
He's in the back.
369
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:34,891
Hey, dude.
370
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,309
What do you want?
371
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,649
I thought when we broke up
everything would get better.
372
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:42,816
I was thinking maybe we
should say we're back together.
373
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,985
Dude, I'm not gay,
and neither are you!
374
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,653
What does that have
to do with anything?
375
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,697
You think you can just pull
that shit you pulled at school,
376
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,491
saying I step on people
and use them,
377
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:51,954
and I'll just
take you back?
378
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,323
You said to make it
seem real.
379
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,494
Not that real!
380
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,458
Now everyone thinks
I'm a manipulative cheater.
381
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,079
I'll never get any chicks.
382
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,126
I'm so sorry, Craig.
383
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,624
You ... You made me
believe in myself
384
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,341
in a way I never have before.
385
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,678
I didn't think I had any of that
in me, but you were right.
386
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,547
I can do more than I think.
387
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,674
You changed something in me,
and I just ...
388
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,551
I want to fix whatever's
hurting you now.
389
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,473
I can't be something
because everyone wants me to be.
390
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,396
I have to be myself.
391
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,269
You'll just have to go
be gay with someone else.
392
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,897
All right, Craig.
All right.
393
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,412
I can see how much
they're both hurting, but...
394
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:36,374
Can't you understand that in my
time we just didn't accept this?
395
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,867
Maybe it's not so wrong.
396
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,745
I ... I just don't
want it to be my son.
397
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,208
Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee!
398
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:48,007
You just need
a little prick of magic.
399
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,680
I'm gonna pee in
your mouth a little bit.
400
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,931
Then again,
he's my son no matter what.
401
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,555
I can't just
shut down on him.
402
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,353
Tee hee hee!
Tee hee hee hee!
403
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,272
Son, you need to listen to me.
404
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,317
You can't fight being gay.
405
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,911
I used to think that
being gay was a choice,
406
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,497
but you don't get
to decide.
407
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,912
Japan picks who they pick,
and that's that.
408
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:21,127
I don't understand
this stuff.
409
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,587
Heck, I didn't even know
Don King got raped,
410
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:27,299
but I do know that
if you try and resist it,
411
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:30,590
you make yourself miserable
your whole life.
412
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,713
Everyone was
so proud of you.
413
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:37,389
I was just being selfish.
I want to be proud of you, too.
414
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:42,266
I like gay Craig.
I love you.
415
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,108
Here's $100.
416
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:02,350
Gambaro irashai!
417
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,198
Okay, okay.
The date's almost over.
418
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:25,167
Tee hee hee!
Aren't you liking your massage?
419
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,378
It's fine. It just doesn't
really do anything for me.
420
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:30,123
Well, I've got something you
might like a little better.
421
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,420
Cu... Cupid Me, no!
No! I'm straight!
422
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:33,417
Tee hee hee hee!
423
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,385
Cupid Me, what are you doing?
Oh, my God!
424
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:37,255
Oh, Cupid Me,
that's enough!
425
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:39,723
Okay, that's it, Cupid Me!
That's it!
426
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,308
That's it, Cupid Me.
Okay, that's it.
427
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:42,426
That's it, Cupid Me.
428
00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:45,521
Aww.
429
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll