1
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,709
Who was it?!
2
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,835
Somebody's about to get
their asses kicked!
3
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,717
When I find out
who did this!
4
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:52,264
P.C. Principal
is on the warpath!
5
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,888
Run for your lives!
6
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:54,934
Again?
7
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,352
Oh, Jesus.
Now what?
8
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:57,725
Who was it, huh?!
9
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,692
Somebody better fess up
right now!
10
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,858
I'm gonna find out
who did this!
11
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,402
Broflovski!
Was it you?
12
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:05,945
Was what me, sir?
13
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,615
I just saw a copy
of the school newspaper
14
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,113
in which a student
used the word "retarded"
15
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,616
to refer to our cafeteria
lunch policy.
16
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,414
The word "retarded" does not
belong in our school!
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00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,253
Who is in charge
of the school paper?!
18
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,089
'Cause I'm about to break
their fucking legs!
19
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,834
Uh, he's in charge
of the school paper.
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00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,178
You gonna break his legs,
P.C. Principal?
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00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,765
All right, uh, I-I guess
we haven't formally met before.
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Uh, the reason
I need to talk with you, Jason,
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00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:40,976
is because of
a very important ...
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00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:41,977
It's Jimmy, actually.
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00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,570
My name is Jimmy,
P.C. Principal.
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00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,813
All right, Jim,
thank you.
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00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,862
I want to talk to you today
about the use of the "R" word
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00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:49,485
in your school paper.
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00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,113
You see, the "R" word
is very bad.
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00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,706
- Says who?
- Says me, all right?
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00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:55,824
And I know a thing or two
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00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,701
about the rights of people
with disabilities.
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00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,624
When you use the "R" word
to describe
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00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:02,874
the school's lunch policy,
it can hurt people's hearts.
35
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,591
Can you understand that at all?
36
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,005
That was an op-ed piece
in the paper
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00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,252
written by a first grader
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00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,879
who found the school lunch
policy to be ridiculous,
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00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,848
and he thought "r-retarded" to
be the best word to describe it.
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00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,842
As the editor of the paper,
I didn't think it was right
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00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,310
to censor the words
the student used.
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00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,519
Okay, well, from now on,
I'm gonna need to approve
43
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,563
the school paper before
you hand it out, okay?
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00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:22,479
No.
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00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:23,978
What'd you say?
46
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,354
You're new here,
so you don't understand
47
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,527
how seriously I take my job
as editor of the school paper.
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00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,275
I don't allow ads,
and I don't allow anything
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00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,198
that might t-t-taint the truth
behind what people are thinking.
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00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,616
I don't want people
to be afraid of words
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00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,410
if it stops them
from having a dialogue.
52
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,783
Look, I don't want
to get angry, okay?
53
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,956
Why? Are you uncomfortable
around people with disabilities?
54
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,329
That's okay.
Lots of people are.
55
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,673
No, I'm not!
I am very not uncomfortable.
56
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:47,009
All right, look ...
unless I can approve your paper,
57
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,843
it is not being distributed
on campus.
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00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:49,677
You got that?
59
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,593
I can't hand out
the school paper in school?
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00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,432
Not unless it is approved by me.
Do you understand?
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00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,176
Yep. Got it.
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00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,734
Don't forget to read
the school paper,
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00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,024
now delivered directly
to your door!
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00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,366
Super School News!
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00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:23,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
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00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,220
What is that, bro?
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00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:45,313
S-S-S-S-Suck my dick,
P.C. Principal!
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00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,991
Who does this kid think he is,
challenging me?
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00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,406
I said one microaggression
to him, okay?
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00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,653
One little microaggression.
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00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,951
But that doesn't mean
I have an unconscious bias
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00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,164
towards people
with disabilities!
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00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,454
No way, bro.
That's wack!
74
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,669
But why would a person
with a disability not see
75
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,913
that what I'm trying to do
is actually protect them?
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00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,256
Sometimes victims of oppression
are so marginalized
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00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,375
that they begin to sympathize
with their oppressors.
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00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,046
Yeah, bro.
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00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,465
You're right.
80
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,089
This kid just needs to be shown
he's being an Uncle Able.
81
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,466
I can also count on my P.C.
frat brothers to have my back.
82
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,467
Let's go, P.C.!
83
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,969
P.C.! Whoo!
84
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,680
Wow.
85
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,603
Wow, this is so great.
86
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:26,725
Have you ever read
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00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,818
the elementary school
newspaper, Linda?
88
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,778
There's no ads,
no sponsored content,
89
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,239
no links to click on.
90
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,904
Just news stories
about what's happening.
91
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,073
Did you know
that the police in Shi Tpa Town
92
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,992
beat up homeless
to clear them out?
93
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,284
Do you know
how long its been
94
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,204
since I was able to just
sit back and read the news?
95
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,953
I got so used to getting news
off the Internet,
96
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,249
but I feel like
I'm always trying
97
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,374
to chase the news, somehow.
98
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,797
It's like
I'm in a black void
99
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,762
trying to reach
the news story.
100
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,381
But then
the next thing I know,
101
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,053
I'm reading an ad
for GEICO,
102
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,222
so I click out of that
and try to read the news story,
103
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,095
but it's not a news story,
it's a slide show,
104
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,221
and I'm looking
at the worst
105
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,314
celebrity plastic-surgery
jobs ever.
106
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,683
So, of course,
I want to see the next slide
107
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,152
of plastic surgery gone wrong,
so I hit the arrow.
108
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,066
But then the arrow wasn't
the arrow for the next slide,
109
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,985
it was to take me for an ad
for face cream.
110
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:14,822
Aah!
111
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,066
I wanted
to get a news story,
112
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,238
but I'm reading
about face cream.
113
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,407
And I try to click out of it,
but the ad is following me.
114
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,326
It's ... It's following me
all over the screen!
115
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,322
No!
116
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,539
So I click
on the "close" button,
117
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,659
but it wasn't a "close" button,
it was another slide show.
118
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,411
And I just want to know what's
happening in the Middle East,
119
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:28,537
but instead I'm looking at
120
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,335
the top 10 scariest movies
of all time.
121
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,547
And that's not the arrow
for the next slide,
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00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,712
it's for another ad!
123
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,380
Aah!
124
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,220
But this ...
This is just news.
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00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,181
And I don't get lost
in all the bullshit.
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00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,266
Linda.
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00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,639
Linda!
128
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,479
All right, Jim,
I know you've been trying
129
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,018
to get your head around
some of the social issues
130
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,106
we discussed yesterday.
131
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,226
I'm sure you're feeling confused
and a little unsure of yourself.
132
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,103
I'm not confused at all,
actually, P.C. Principal.
133
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,525
Okay, well, no,
you are confused...
134
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,023
I'm pretty sure you're the one
that's confused, but go ahead.
135
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,865
...because you don't grasp
the severity of this.
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00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:58,905
And that's why I've brought in
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00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,368
another young person
with disabilities
138
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,907
to share his feelings.
139
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,701
Thanks for coming in
to talk to us, Nathan.
140
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,126
I like apples
and bananas.
141
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,745
Me too, bro.
Me too.
142
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,964
Nathan, could you tell Jimmy
how you feel
143
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,174
when people use
the word "retarded?"
144
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:18,387
It hurts my feelings
because I feel bad.
145
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,925
Are you serious
right now?
146
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,593
You feel bad.
Right.
147
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,717
You feel like
that's a no-no word, right?
148
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:27,016
That word makes my heart
piss its pants.
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00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,265
Okay, wow.
That's pretty heavy.
150
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,686
Pretty heavy, huh, Jim?
151
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,684
Do you want to ask him
what he means by that,
152
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:33,810
or are you just pandering
153
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,279
because you're uncomfortable
around disabled people?
154
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,524
I am not uncomfortable!
155
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,527
I simply care
about a horrible, outdated word
156
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,779
that is exclusive,
ignores individuality,
157
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,874
and equates intellectual
disability with being ...
158
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,537
and it ... and it ... Spot!
159
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,786
I need a spotter! Spot me!
Somebody spot me, bro!
160
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,879
And it's ... it's part
of a derogatory hate speech
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00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,589
which fosters isolation
and loneliness,
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00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,583
and being part of a voice
to stop the "R" word
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00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,927
is not only right
but extremely important!
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00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,467
I'm afraid of bears.
165
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,476
Hey, Nathan.
Hold up.
166
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,140
What were you doing
in there?
167
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,810
What do you mean, Jimmy?
Are you mad?
168
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:11,898
Come on, Nathan.
169
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:12,937
You and I both know
170
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,731
you use the word "retarded"
400 times a day.
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00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,979
Oh, Jimmy.
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00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,322
So righteous, aren't you?
173
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,988
So blind to everything
that's going on.
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00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,530
What are you talking about?
175
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,952
You really think all the changes
happening to this town
176
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,040
are just coincidence?
177
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:33,207
This goes so much deeper than
you can possibly imagine, Jim.
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00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,751
Everyone's about to learn
the truth,
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00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:39,502
and then
there's a war coming.
180
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,253
A war, Jim.
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00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:44,848
And I'm just gonna make sure
I'm on the right side of it.
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00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,968
Come on, boys.
Let's get back to class.
183
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,642
I like to smell trees!
184
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:55,021
An elementary school newspaper
is making big waves
185
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,520
as more and more people say no
to news on the Internet.
186
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,024
I read Super School News
'cause it don't try and fool me,
187
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,402
and its news reports aren't
paid for by ad companies.
188
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,404
We just feel like
this is actual news,
189
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,373
and instead of clicking
on links, we're reading stories.
190
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,367
I had to get away from the ads.
191
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,166
I felt that the ads were
evolving, somehow.
192
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:18,756
They started knowing what
I liked, what I was afraid of.
193
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:21,126
I tried ad blockers,
but it seemed like every time
194
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,674
I tried to block the ads,
they just got smarter.
195
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,344
I'm never going back
from Super School News.
196
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,432
The young editor
of the paper claims
197
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,554
that since most people now watch
news reports on the Internet,
198
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:35,148
they're easily distracted
or even fooled by ads,
199
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,733
which are finding more and more
clever ways...
200
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:37,567
Ooh, brutal
celebrity mug shots.
201
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,027
...to disguise them.
202
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,318
Oh! It got me.
203
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,407
Ad got me, Sharon.
204
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:48,745
We now return live to
the 2015 presidential debates.
205
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,581
Our next question is for you,
Mrs. Clinton.
206
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,292
Many voters believe
that Syrian refugees
207
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,333
should not be allowed into our
country for security reasons.
208
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,706
What do you think?
209
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:02,084
Keeping our country safe has
become more and more difficult,
210
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,926
but I believe there are
several things ...
211
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,421
No!
You shut the hell up!
212
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,048
You've got a dumpy butt
and seven chins.
213
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:11,177
Syrian refugees
are all terrorists!
214
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,598
I know that our government
215
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,096
needs to take
a harder look at all ...
216
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,767
Yeah, well, it's pretty hard
to look at you.
217
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,732
We can all agree on that.
218
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,443
She looks like a donkey took
a shit on her face.
219
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,982
Yeah, good one, Caitlyn.
220
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,606
See, what I know is
that there's only one way
221
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,450
to deal with Syrian refugees,
and that is...
222
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,535
Fuck 'em all to death!
223
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:30,619
Thank you!
224
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,749
That was hilarious when
you called her a pizza face.
225
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,244
It's like a Papa John's
pimple party.
226
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,585
That was classic, Caitlyn.
227
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,205
You're the best
running mate ever.
228
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,833
Hello, Mr. Garrison.
229
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,085
Oh, my God.
230
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,803
Principal Victoria?
231
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,093
Congratulations on the polls.
232
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,887
We need to talk.
233
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,398
Celebrate diversity! Whoo!
234
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,893
Let's go, P.C.!
235
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,521
All right, everyone.
Listen up.
236
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,740
Tonight's a very special night
for the P.C.s.
237
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,403
We're honored
to be throwing this event
238
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,902
for people with disabilities.
239
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,824
I, for one, am sick
of how these amazing kids
240
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,413
are marginalized
in today's society,
241
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,123
but tonight is about learning
and healing.
242
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,163
So let's get to it!
243
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,583
Hey, guys. I'm Brad.
I'm P.C. Arizona State.
244
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,001
Nice to meet you, Brad.
Where do you ...
245
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,171
Uh, excuse me a second.
Hello, ladies.
246
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,417
Thanks for coming
to our event.
247
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,260
- Hi!
- Hi!
248
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,253
We're just tired
of the way
249
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,675
people with disabilities
get treated.
250
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:30,797
Can I get you
some alcohol?
251
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,845
Yeah, you know, it just bugs me
when people refer
252
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,014
to persons with disabilities
as handicapped.
253
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,261
When I hear that word,
254
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,013
I want to fucking punch them
in the fucking face.
255
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,981
That's so cool of you.
Wow.
256
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,351
Yeah, to be marginalizing
persons with disabilities
257
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,897
by asking them
what their handicap is
258
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,191
is a microaggression no better
than asking a person of color
259
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,438
if they went to college.
260
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,362
Wow.
You're really progressive.
261
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,859
No other way to be.
262
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,453
So, uh, listen, I think you're
really pretty and interesting,
263
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:54,867
and I'd kind of like
to take you upstairs
264
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,240
and totally crush
your pussy.
265
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,866
Would that be acceptable
to you?
266
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,460
Oh!
Well, I-l guess it would.
267
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,500
No, I'm sorry.
I need affirmative consent.
268
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,418
I'll need you to say,
"Yes, you may take me upstairs
269
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,416
and crush my pussy
at this time."
270
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,217
P.C., bro!
271
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,007
Dude, yeah!
272
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,389
McKenzie,
you got consent forms?
273
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,353
Oh, yeah.
Right here, bro.
274
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,813
Rise and shine, guys.
275
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,399
If you scored last night,
I need your consent forms.
276
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,393
Thank you.
Thank you.
277
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,395
Thank you. Whoa, Barker,
did you perform cunnilingus?
278
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,863
There's a different
release form, bro.
279
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,732
Yeah, uh, s-sorry.
It's right here.
280
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:31,779
Nice.
281
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,652
Bro!
Oh, dude! Bro!
282
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:34,868
What, bro?
283
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,112
Dude, I scored
with this female,
284
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,581
and after consenting to
putting her mouth on my penis,
285
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,245
- she wanted me to walk her home.
- Yeah?
286
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,083
And when I got to her house,
287
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,703
she had me meet her father,
who is Filipino.
288
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,170
So I asked him
if he could tell me about
289
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,381
the cultural and social dynamic
of being a Filipino-American.
290
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,123
Naturally.
291
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:47,965
So he said some stuff,
292
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,675
and then a newspaper lands
on his doorstep,
293
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,839
'cause I guess
her dad subscribes
294
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,961
to the school newspaper,
295
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,930
and he picked it up, and I saw
the headline said this!
296
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,722
What the fuck
is this, bro?!
297
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,469
Bro, that little kid wrote
that our tolerant views
298
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:00,595
and fight for social justice
299
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,142
is just a way for us
to crush puss!
300
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:03,139
But that's not true!
301
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,358
I know, bro!
We're being totally victimized!
302
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,318
That little fucker, dude!
303
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,438
Hello.
304
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,689
You're the boy responsible
305
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,158
for the South Park
Super School News?
306
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,276
T-That's right.
307
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,746
We would like
to give you $26 million.
308
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,958
Contracts.
And the first check.
309
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,004
We'd love to be in business
with you.
310
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,421
What is this for?
311
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:34,091
I represent an organization
called GEICO.
312
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,714
It's an insurance company.
313
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,057
We think Super School News
would be a great way
314
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,142
for us to reach new customers.
315
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,854
Sorry, Charlie, but I don't
allow ads in my newspaper.
316
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,314
We've heard all about that,
317
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,977
so we thought
you could just do some
318
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,101
news stories
about car insurance.
319
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,648
Just state the facts
320
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,943
because the truth is everyone
can save by switching to GEICO.
321
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,941
That's called
"sponsored content."
322
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,034
I know the difference
between the news and ads.
323
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,243
You think I'm stupid?
324
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,988
Everyone's doing it, Jim.
325
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,911
You're sort of
the last holdout.
326
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,659
$26 million
just to write some news stories
327
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,958
that get people thinking about
their insurance coverage?
328
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,837
S-S-S-Stick it up your ass.
329
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,926
Hmm.
330
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,047
Well, they said
you'd be tough.
331
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:20,516
Do you really think
you can stop ads?
332
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,806
Yes.
333
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,555
You can try to block ads,
but they get smarter.
334
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,023
The more we try
to shut them out,
335
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,767
the more clever they get.
336
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,108
There's a war coming, kid,
337
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,524
and I'm gonna make sure
I'm on the right side of it.
338
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,161
Officer Barbrady?
339
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,997
Come with me
if you want to live!
340
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,376
Come on! Come with me
if you want to live!
341
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,995
I'm serious!
342
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:55,169
Do you want to explain to me
what pussy crushing is?
343
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,715
What?
344
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,588
Your little meetings
you go to at night
345
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:00,431
to discuss
social justice ...
346
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,222
It's just a way
to pick up on young women?!
347
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,220
Sharon, most of the guys
in my P.C. club
348
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,688
are right out of college,
all right?
349
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,477
You know
how college kids are.
350
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,724
Who wrote this?
351
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,819
I don't want you
going over there anymore.
352
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,357
I don't cheat on you,
Sharon.
353
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,605
I'm happy.
354
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,448
Look at what's happened
to our town.
355
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,192
We have Shi Tpa Town,
356
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,445
boutique restaurants,
and artisan shops.
357
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,037
We have a fucking Whole Foods.
358
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,827
And that was all me!
359
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,290
Diverse people
are moving here.
360
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,125
Everyone's being aware
of how they talk.
361
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,165
This is paradise,
Sharon!
362
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,583
Is it?
363
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,675
All I know
is that you've changed.
364
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,840
Ever since you joined
this P.C. thing,
365
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,633
you just bully people
366
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,802
and wait for people
to say anything improper
367
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,766
so that you can jump
down their throats
368
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,511
for whatever words
he or she used.
369
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:50,311
"He or she" is an agenderphobic
microaggression, Sharon.
370
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,604
You are a bigot.
371
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,621
The average human can no longer
tell the difference
372
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,290
between the news and an ad.
373
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,460
You seem to have
some mental ability
374
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,799
that allows you
to spot an ad in disguise.
375
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,634
Does this have to do with me
calling the school principal
376
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:19,673
a pussy crusher?
377
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,798
The P.C. people
are simply being manipulated,
378
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,847
unwittingly setting the table
for the new enemy of humanity.
379
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,936
You mean ISIS or ninjas?
380
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:32,648
Something much worse.
381
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:37,149
Have you ever felt like
an ad had intelligence?
382
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,318
That it somehow knew
what you wanted
383
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,817
even before you knew
you wanted it?
384
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,443
What if I were to tell you
385
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,117
that ads have become
smarter than us
386
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,660
and now they're manipulating
everything we do?
387
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,284
I'd say that sounds
pretty retarded.
388
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,457
It was our own fault.
389
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,252
Mankind became tired of ads,
390
00:15:56,372 --> 00:16:00,218
so we kept inventing ways
to make things ad-free.
391
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,837
We even created ad blockers.
392
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,090
That's when the ads
had to adapt.
393
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:09,310
They had to disguise themselves
as news in order to survive.
394
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,354
Sponsored content?
395
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,895
If you really can tell
the difference,
396
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:19,362
then you could be the key
to saving our species, Jimmy.
397
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,072
We'd like to run a test on you.
398
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,698
Sponsored content.
399
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,321
Test 17-B.
400
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:29,368
Ready.
401
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,581
Begin.
402
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,377
That's the news.
403
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,496
That's an ad.
404
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,623
That's the news.
405
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:39,840
That's an ad.
406
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,836
That's the news.
That's an ad. That's an ad.
407
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,837
That's the ne... Oh, no, wait.
That's an ad for cat food.
408
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:45,508
My bad.
409
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,758
Jesus Christ.
He's off the charts.
410
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,304
Increase the intensity.
411
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,722
That's the news.
That's an ad.
412
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:51,935
News. Ad. Ad. Ad.
413
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,226
Ad. Ad. News. News.
Ad. Ad. Slide show. Ad.
414
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,447
That's a perfect score.
415
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:07,159
You are a very special child,
Jimmy.
416
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,778
I prefer "handicapped,"
actually.
417
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,952
We have another child here
who is special, too.
418
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,833
Do you know Leslie?
419
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,928
All right. That's good.
Everyone get inside.
420
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,843
Everything past here
is safe space.
421
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,716
No reporters, no harassment.
422
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,842
We are gonna figure
this shit out.
423
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,273
All I know is that
I don't speak up for minorities
424
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,317
so that I can crush pussy.
425
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,438
Me neither, dude.
426
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,158
I want social justice,
and now I'm being made fun of.
427
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:47,776
Yeah, bro.
428
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,527
They're taking
our incredibly tolerant views
429
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:50,528
and distorting them.
430
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:53,281
P.C. people are under attack.
That's what this is.
431
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,532
Hey, yeah.
432
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,536
Bro, we're the victims now.
433
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,378
Like, we're being
marginalized.
434
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,338
Like, that makes us
pretty cool.
435
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,457
Yeah, I'll bet now we can get
a lot more puss.
436
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,632
No, Topher!
It's not about puss, all right?
437
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,004
The fuck's wrong with you?
438
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,756
We're being labeled
as meatheads
439
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,349
who just want to crush puss
by an intolerant newspaper.
440
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,059
Yeah, fuck that dude, bro.
441
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,974
Yeah, and, like,
if you're gonna belittle
442
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,768
and make fun of P.C. people
like that,
443
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:18,810
then who's to say
he won't do it
444
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,604
to other marginalized groups
like us?
445
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,648
I mean, this kid could be
the next Hitler.
446
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,647
And if you guys could
stop Hitler, what would you do?
447
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,650
I'd rip that dude apart
and then go home
448
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:31,072
and totally smash
some puss, bro.
449
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:31,910
- Yeah!
- Hell, yeah!
450
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,951
- Hell, yeah, dude!
- No!
451
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,120
You look familiar.
452
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,335
- Don't you go to my school?
- Yes.
453
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,956
Uh, I'm Jimmy, editor in chief
of Super School News.
454
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,047
I'm Leslie.
455
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,587
Nice to finally
talk to you.
456
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,927
Did they bring you in and give
you a bunch of tests, too?
457
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:50,388
Yes, they did.
Do you know who they are?
458
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,177
I think
they're ex-newsmen ...
459
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,891
you know,
the men in suits
460
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,851
who used to be in charge
of the news.
461
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,390
I thought
I recognized them.
462
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,889
They told me
I was special.
463
00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:01,357
Are you special, too?
464
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,896
I prefer "handicapped."
465
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,896
Huh.
I like that.
466
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,237
Principal Victoria,
467
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:08,732
if everything you've said
is true,
468
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,699
then why doesn't anyone
know about it?
469
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,659
There are people
who know,
470
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:15,030
but they have to stay
very hidden.
471
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,907
I'm just having a hard time
swallowing all this.
472
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,534
And between me
and this one over here,
473
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,377
we can swallow
just about anything.
474
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,917
Oh, God,
you're such an asshole.
475
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,416
Mr. Garrison,
I wasn't fired.
476
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,167
I was replaced.
477
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:32,172
This goes much higher
than anyone knows.
478
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,424
I came to this town
479
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,347
really thinking
I could make a difference.
480
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:40,017
I've been called a bigot towards
persons with disabilities.
481
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,640
I've been called
a... pussy crusher
482
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:43,687
because of the behavior
483
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,652
of a very few individuals
in my P.C. frat.
484
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:49,568
Jimmy Valmer
is off the school newspaper.
485
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,066
I want you to take over.
486
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,067
Oh, boy!
487
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,115
And I will be reviewing
your paper to make sure
488
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,580
nobody is ever attacked
the way I was again.
489
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,495
I think this will be
the beginning
490
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,538
of a beautiful friendship.
491
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,661
Jimmy almost made me
lose confidence.
492
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,039
But I know who I am.
493
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,665
I know what I am.
494
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,007
Dude! Bro!
495
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,627
Oh, bro.
496
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,924
I went online to read
a news story about immigrants
497
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,638
- being discriminated against.
- Yeah.
498
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,177
Well, and so I clicked
on the headline,
499
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,925
but it turned out
to be an ad for Reddi-wip,
500
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,178
so then I clicked on the
"X" button to make it go away,
501
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,645
but then it was a link
to another ad,
502
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:22,888
and when I tried
to cancel that,
503
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,141
another window came up,
and it was this.
504
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,268
Dude.
What the fuck, bro?
505
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,394
What does this mean, dude?!
506
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:31,363
Bro!
What the fuck, bro?!
507
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,609
Do you like our school,
Jimmy?
508
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,828
Uh, yes, Leslie.
I like our school very much.
509
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,197
I like our school, too.
510
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,699
I like the kids
who go there.
511
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,918
Uh-huh.
512
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,708
I'm starting to wonder something
about you, Leslie.
513
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,252
I'm starting to wonder
about you.
514
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,468
I mean, you seem like
a nice kid,
515
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,384
but don't you feel like
you could be happier?
516
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,677
Holy shit.
517
00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:58,515
What?
518
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,134
Can you excuse me
for a moment?
519
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,476
Okay.
520
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,189
Well, Jimmy?
What do you think?
521
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,730
Does she know
she's an ad?
522
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,228
He can spot them.
523
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:13,322
Does she k-know
she's an ad?!
524
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:23,328
What the hell
is going on, bro?
525
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:25,831
Bro?
526
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,919
Bro, what the hell
is going on, bro?!
527
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,165
If we're going back,
remember ...
528
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,462
We don't know
who we can trust.
529
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,176
If they want to mess
with my town,
530
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,011
I'll fuck every last
one of them.
531
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,425
Let's do this!
532
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,516
Buckle up, buckaroos!
533
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll