1
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,715
All right, everyone, listen up.
2
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:48,931
I don't know about you,
but I, for one,
3
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,096
am sick and tired of hate speech
4
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,890
that serves
to marginalize others.
5
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,198
Ahh.
6
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,943
You know, if there's one thing
that makes me sick,
7
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,661
it's when a race thinks
they're superior
8
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,576
and don't know how
to check their privilege.
9
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:22,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
10
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,218
An African-American flips
a turtle over on its back.
11
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,515
A transgender
Filipino comes
12
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:35,979
and sees the helpless turtle
baking in the sun.
13
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,268
What color is
the Filipino's father?
14
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,476
I didn't think
you were human.
15
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,693
Aah!
16
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,540
Yeah, everybody's pretty
freaked out over here, baby.
17
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,009
Everyone is on edge
and feeling really nervous.
18
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,345
That sounds terrible.
Be careful, Butters.
19
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,509
I will, honey.
20
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,759
Butters.
Get to the bathroom. Now.
21
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,602
All right, Kyle,
what's this about?
22
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,771
- Jimmy's dead.
- What?
23
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,145
I know the whole story.
P.C. Principal killed him
24
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,363
and tried to kill Leslie,
but she got away.
25
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,777
Mrph rmh rmphm?
26
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,866
P.C. Principal is part
of a huge network of radicals
27
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,406
who kill everyone that doesn't
follow their P.C. ideology.
28
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,528
How do you know all this?
29
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,032
Because Leslie's with me.
I'm keeping her safe.
30
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,201
It gets worse.
31
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,249
Someone in our town helped
these people come here.
32
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,963
That person
faked the Bill Cosby joke
33
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,798
to get
Principal Victoria fired.
34
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,043
Who would use a Cosby joke
to push their own agenda?
35
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,465
I think it's obvious ...
Stan's dad.
36
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,212
Kyle...
37
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,589
Stan, your dad
is one of them.
38
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,056
He had to be the one
that let them in!
39
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,222
You're letting paranoia and
suspicion get the better of you.
40
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,229
There's no way to know
who we can trust.
41
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,974
So, what do we do now?
42
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,646
There's only one thing
we can do.
43
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,895
We have to get guns.
44
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:06,565
Guns?
45
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,155
It's the only way for us
to be safe.
46
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,399
Kyle, even if we thought
it could help protect us,
47
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,743
how are we all going to
get our hands on guns?
48
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,993
All right, cool, we got guns.
So now what?
49
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,116
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
50
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,084
I already feel
a lot safer!
51
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,295
You guys lay low
and watch your backs.
52
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,085
I'm gonna go
keep Leslie protected.
53
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:25,922
Hey.
54
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,212
Don't fall too hard,
partner.
55
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,920
Do I look sweet, Butters?
56
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,547
Yeah.
57
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:40,887
What?
58
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,265
What?
59
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,983
Can you pass
the garlic bread, Randy?
60
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,569
Why wouldn't I be able
to pass the garlic bread?
61
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,113
Dad, where were you
last night?
62
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,231
What? When?
Where was I what?
63
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,199
Out. With friends.
Doing things.
64
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,192
Well, I'm full.
65
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,990
I'm gonna go work in the garage
for a little bit.
66
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,784
- Work on what?
- On stuff that do things.
67
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,281
Um, oh, I'm gonna take
some of this with me.
68
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,123
I'm still hungry.
69
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,662
Thought you just said
you were full.
70
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,000
Jesus!
71
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,620
What, am I on trial
or something?!
72
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,247
God damn!
73
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,794
You guys are really
acting strange.
74
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,886
All right, we're good.
Nobody suspects a thing.
75
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,471
Take a look at this.
76
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,512
We've got everything from
P.C. Principal's hard drive.
77
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,351
He was onto the gentrification
around the world,
78
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,595
and he was convinced
79
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,691
that whatever was responsible
wasn't human.
80
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,151
Not human?
Then, what?
81
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,986
I don't care
if they're aliens or vampires.
82
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,947
We need to round 'em up fast
and fuck them till they're dead.
83
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,486
You don't want
to fuck a vampire.
84
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,655
You'll get hepatitis.
85
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,824
Oh, girlfriend,
I am well beyond that.
86
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:42,374
Oh, my God.
Don't you see what this means?
87
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:46,166
If something not human
is gentrifying the entire world,
88
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,914
soon no human will be able
to afford it.
89
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:52,714
They're trying to price
our species out of existence.
90
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:07,266
Well, how do you like
my new apartment?
91
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,607
What happened to you,
Nathan?
92
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,022
I always thought
you were a nice kid.
93
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,190
Now you've got a gun?
94
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,485
Oh. Everyone's getting
one of these now, Jim.
95
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,734
Nobody knows who to trust.
96
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,781
Yeah? Well,
guns are never the answer.
97
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,449
Don't you kind of wish
you'd had one
98
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,323
back when Leslie betrayed you
and nearly beat you to death?
99
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,076
Oh. I guess it would have been
a decent answer then.
100
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,124
T-T-T-Touché.
101
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:31,374
You see, I've got
expensive tastes, Jimmy.
102
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,752
I like good food,
organic pressed juices,
103
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,846
and I've got a thing
for high-class prostitutes.
104
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,637
Have you been introduced
to my current girlfriend?
105
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:43,010
My name is Classi
with an "I,"
106
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,886
and a little dick
hanging off the "C"
107
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,479
that bends around
and fucks the "L"
108
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,395
out of the
109
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,143
Nice to meet you, Classi.
110
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,396
All I had to do
was work for the ads,
111
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,147
and I got
everything I wanted ...
112
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:58,116
My own loft
with all of Shi Tpa Town
113
00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,826
right at my doorstep.
114
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,536
All it took was some P.C.,
115
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,405
and the whole thing
was set in motion.
116
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,577
Oh, great.
117
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,917
So now ads are using P.C.
for their own gains?
118
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,285
That's a new low.
119
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,914
What is P.C. but a verbal form
of gentrification?
120
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,461
Spruce everything up,
get rid of all the ugliness
121
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,587
in order to create
a false sense of paradise.
122
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:21,591
Only one thing can actually live
in that world ... ads.
123
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,845
I know I've said it before,
but, man, do I hate ads.
124
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,733
Eric Cartman, I told you
to get ready for bed!
125
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,605
Yeah, I just want to finish
this movie.
126
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,778
No, Eric,
this is a school night.
127
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,321
Mom,
I'm into this movie.
128
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,285
I'm not going to bed
right now. Chillax.
129
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,200
You most certainly are.
130
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,868
Right now, mister!
131
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,788
I will go to bed
when this movie is over, Mom.
132
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,287
Eric!
Where did you get that?!
133
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,708
Turn off the light
and go back to bed.
134
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:53,796
I'm staying up.
135
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,837
Eric, you march right up
to your room ...
136
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,129
I don't think so, Mom.
137
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,093
Eric, you get
your butt to bed!
138
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,632
No means no, Bill Cosby!
139
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,428
I told you to go upstairs
right now!
140
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,720
Whoa, Mom,
what the hell?
141
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,468
I'm not gonna
tell you again, Eric.
142
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,062
It is time
for night-night!
143
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,396
Mom, put down the gun.
144
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,857
I am your mother, and you will
do what I tell you!
145
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:13,941
Okay, I am going!
146
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,027
Well, then you go
right now, mister!
147
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,942
I am going to bed Mom!
Chillax.
148
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,486
All right, then! No comic books!
Just straight to sleep!
149
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,075
I love you, sweetie!
150
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:25,036
Okay. I love you too, Mom.
Night-night.
151
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:30,584
Wow, he ... he listened.
152
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,462
There has to be something ...
153
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,673
some clue as to what
we're dealing with.
154
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,339
The news stories
P.C. Principal researched
155
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,086
are all so contradictory,
156
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,054
as if whatever
these things are
157
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,424
have control
over the news somehow.
158
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,346
That sounds
like vampires to me.
159
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,141
We have to find out who had me
fired with the Cosby joke.
160
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,138
It's the key to knowing
what we're dealing with.
161
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,606
Principal Victoria?
162
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,351
Mr. Garrison?
Caitlyn Jenner?
163
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,149
Stan, what the hell
are you doing in here?!
164
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,192
- Tell me what's going on, Dad.
- Nothing.
165
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,691
We're just hanging out, talking
about Coldplay, all right?
166
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,319
No! I want to know what the hell
is going on right now!
167
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,945
What are you doing
with that?
168
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,789
Kyle said I couldn't trust you.
What are you planning, Dad?
169
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,283
Stan, it isn't
what you think.
170
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,534
Then what is it?!
171
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,536
Look, I need to
show you something, okay?
172
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,459
You need
to see this, son.
173
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,833
Oh! Psych! Now put
the fucking gun down, bitch!
174
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:20,880
I'm gonna go tell Mom!
175
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,844
Oh, yeah? You go tell her.
I'll tell her you had a gun.
176
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,133
You'll be
in more trouble than me!
177
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,848
Stan, I am your dad.
178
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:29,343
Put the gun down
and sit over there.
179
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,850
- Mom!
- Shit!
180
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,402
Took a lot to hunt you down,
P.C. Principal.
181
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,949
You mind telling me why you're
going around the world
182
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,573
shooting up revitalized
arts-and-foods districts?
183
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,917
You wouldn't believe me
if I told you.
184
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,832
Try me!
185
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,920
I don't know what they are,
but they used me
186
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,756
and others like me
to try and change this planet.
187
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,217
You don't know
what who are?
188
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,677
Sir, the president is
on the phone.
189
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,138
Wants to talk to you
about P.C. Principal.
190
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,926
Yes, Mr. President.
191
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,930
I see, sir.
Yes, I understand.
192
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,772
We're to release him
immediately,
193
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,141
no questions asked.
194
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,643
And we're not supposed to
believe anything he tells us.
195
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,021
Huh.
Ain't that a peach?
196
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,988
He's being set free now,
Mr. President.
197
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,402
Can I tell
the commander why?
198
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,651
This is a matter
of national security.
199
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:28,948
I understand, sir.
200
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,662
Thank you.
God bless you.
201
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,122
God bless you, too, sir.
202
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,832
And may God bless
the United States of America.
203
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,082
You okay?
204
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,626
Yeah.
Just feeling butterflies.
205
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,590
And my hands
are freezing.
206
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,004
Here.
207
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,672
Thank you, Kyle.
208
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,296
Don't worry, Leslie.
209
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,343
I won't let anything
happen to you.
210
00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:01,018
I'm warning you ... You're on
the wrong side of this.
211
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,860
We're just trying
to get answers.
212
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:05,150
You pulled a gun
on our son, Randy!
213
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,148
He pulled one
on me first, Sharon!
214
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,820
Because you wouldn't
talk to me, Dad!
215
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,785
Stanley, let your mother and I
deal with this.
216
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,654
I told you
to leave him alone!
217
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,032
God, I hate this family!
218
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,625
Why are you always
taking Stan's side?!
219
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,586
Whoa! Whoa! Shelly!
Put down the gun, Shelly!
220
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,422
You're always acting like Stan
can't do anything wrong!
221
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,167
She doesn't always
take my side!
222
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,010
You shut up, or I swear to God
I'll use this.
223
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,381
Shelly, put it down.
Now.
224
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,678
You don't even try
to know me, Dad!
225
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,096
I want to, Shelly!
226
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,890
I just sometimes feel
like you hate me!
227
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,263
I feel like
you hate me, Randy!
228
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,981
I don't hate you!
I love you!
229
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,521
I need to be a better husband,
a better father!
230
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,360
We all need to be better
to each other!
231
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:48,573
Okay, maybe I need
to stop being so angry!
232
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,192
I love you guys.
233
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,738
We love you, too, Dad.
234
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,988
We just want to know
what's going on with you.
235
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,207
All right,
I'll tell you everything.
236
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,167
Wow.
These things are amazing.
237
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,924
All right,
Mrs. Farnickle, enjoy.
238
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,719
And remember ... If the safety's
on, you're good as gone.
239
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,763
Okay, and next customer,
please.
240
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,057
Ah, going for
the big one, huh?
241
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,601
You must be feeling
extra jumpy!
242
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,770
You don't know
the half of it.
243
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,394
Well, this thing should
make you feel more at ease.
244
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,270
You know, you ought to
check out the gun show.
245
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:28,612
The gun show?
246
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,573
Yeah, it's gonna
have everything!
247
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,192
And with guns being so popular,
248
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,241
practically everyone in town
is gonna be in attendance.
249
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,285
The entire town
in one location?
250
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,034
Oh, my God.
251
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,755
The principal has become
our biggest problem.
252
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,671
We need a news headline
that will draw him back to town.
253
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:52,671
Oh, you're gonna sponsor
my content some more, baby?
254
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,093
I'm all ears.
255
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,309
I've got to get to
the Super School News.
256
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:01,100
Hey, Classi, do you think
you could get me my crutches?
257
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,438
Naw.
258
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,478
I don't think
Nathan would like that.
259
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,442
You seem like
a reasonable person.
260
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,311
Do you really want to live
in a world controlled by ads?
261
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,688
I mean, come on, Classi.
262
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,986
No, it'a Cla-ass-i.
With an "I."
263
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,700
The little dick
that hangs off the "C"
264
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,819
fucks the "L"
out of the "ass."
265
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,118
Cla-ass-i.
266
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,616
Sorry. My bad.
267
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,663
Look, I'm a news reporter,
Cla-ass-i,
268
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,127
and in a world where ads
control the news,
269
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,918
there's no way to be sure
anyone's ever hearing the truth.
270
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:29,336
Truth about what?
271
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,880
We can't just hide, Kyle.
272
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,924
We have to let people know
P.C. is the enemy
273
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,547
before it's too late.
274
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,390
Leslie, we don't know
who is on their side.
275
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,633
We have to stay safe.
276
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,557
The principal is going to try
and make up some crazy story.
277
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:42,895
That's what P.C. people do.
278
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,355
You have to get
in front of everyone
279
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,396
and tell them
what you've learned.
280
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,487
I gave up
giving speeches.
281
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,480
But why?
282
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,482
I came to you
because I had heard
283
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,655
how good you were
at getting messages across.
284
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,155
That and because...
I thought you were cute.
285
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,578
I'm sure I'd have no problem
giving a speech
286
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,076
if you could be by my side.
287
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,544
Well, I can't go with you,
you know. It's too dangerous.
288
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:07,537
Not if we go somewhere
289
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,380
that's completely safe
from any violence.
290
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,591
- Where?
- The gun show.
291
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:12,379
Gun show?
292
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,925
There'll be so many guns
that nothing bad can happen.
293
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,844
Someone purposely had
Principal Victoria replaced
294
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,137
with the new principal?
295
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,181
Yes, they wanted
to use his P.C.
296
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,725
as a means to start
gentrification in our town.
297
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,349
That's why we thought
P.C. Principal was behind it.
298
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,771
But now we know they were just
using his P.C. abilities
299
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,360
to service
their own needs.
300
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,151
When the pussy crusher story
came out in Super School News,
301
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,695
it started to make
P.C. Principal question himself.
302
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,285
He started digging for answers.
They didn't like that.
303
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,622
So they tried to distract
and mislead him with this.
304
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,787
Sorry. Wait. That's an ad
for McDonald's. Hold on.
305
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,786
With this.
Ugh, there's that ad again.
306
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,253
God, these things
are annoying.
307
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,872
Anyways,
whatever these beings are,
308
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,250
they try to keep anyone
from knowing the truth from ...
309
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,547
Ugh, I don't want to see
a slide show.
310
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,921
P.C. Principal said something
was trying to divert
311
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:02,017
and distract his
subconscious mind with this.
312
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,727
Wait.
That's Leslie.
313
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,190
Oh, my God.
It's Kyle.
314
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,559
Kyle?
315
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,027
Kyle's been protecting Leslie.
They're together.
316
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:14,612
He's been making everyone
feel paranoid
317
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,481
and saying
you're the enemy, Dad.
318
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,827
Well, then,
it's time to go ask Kyle
319
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,116
why he sold out
his own kind.
320
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,739
How will we get him
to talk?
321
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,787
We're going to kill him
with kindness.
322
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,252
But instead of kindness,
we're going to use guns.
323
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,245
Yeah!
324
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,872
- Yeah!
- Come on! Let's go!
325
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,295
Shelly,
you take care of Grandpa!
326
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,963
Okay!
327
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,428
No, no, no.
Don't shoot Grandpa.
328
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,966
Just literally
take care of him.
329
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,926
Buckle up, buckaroos!
330
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:52,726
Here it is, Jimmy,
hot off the presses.
331
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:53,772
What is that?
332
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,861
The newest edition
of Super School News,
333
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,821
hitting the streets tomorrow.
334
00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,441
"Tragedy at gun show."
335
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,737
What happened
at the gun show?
336
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,532
Not what's happened ...
what's going to happen.
337
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,281
The final sweeping
underneath the rug.
338
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,453
By this time tomorrow,
339
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,042
nobody will be
asking questions ever again.
340
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:13,459
The ads will have won,
and I will be the man.
341
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,456
I think the ads
are playin' yo' ass.
342
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,549
Shut up, Classi!
343
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,386
Oh, he-e-ll no!
344
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,379
What?
345
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:24,804
Oh, hell no your Down syndrome
ass just slapped me.
346
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,346
I'm'a break yo' dick off!
347
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,810
Hang on, Classi.
I'm sorry.
348
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,270
I will bust
yo' fucking ass!
349
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,764
I will bust
yo' fucking nose!
350
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,481
I ain't no mimsy-ass ho!
351
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,942
I'm a classy bitch,
and I do not...
352
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,608
want ads...
controlling my news!
353
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,317
Cla-ass-i, thank you!
354
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,319
You need my help?
You gots it.
355
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,321
I need your phone
to call Officer Barbrady,
356
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,323
and we have to get to
that gun show fast!
357
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,951
Quick!
To the Classi-mobile!
358
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,418
Welcome back
to the South Park Gun Show.
359
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,671
We've had
over 2,000 gorgeous guns
360
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,921
come through this arena today.
361
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,548
It's been whittled down
to seven,
362
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:06,890
the winners
from each group.
363
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,510
David, take us down the line.
364
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,308
First, we have
the beautiful Yorkshire 33mm
365
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,726
with proud owner
Steven Stotch.
366
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,851
An absolutely gorgeous gun,
David.
367
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,774
The playful and lovely
Australian semiautomatic,
368
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,568
owned by Father Maxi.
369
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,656
And there's the mayor
with her delightful
370
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,696
Rhodesian ridgeback
shotgun/rifle mix.
371
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,239
That's a favorite
of the crowd here.
372
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,862
Always a favorite
at these shows.
373
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,705
That's a nice gun
right there.
374
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,199
The judge now asking to see
375
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,203
that Yorkshire 33mm up close.
376
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,880
And there it is ...
Just a beautiful gun in motion.
377
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,749
Everybody loves it.
378
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,553
Looks like the judge
wants to take another look
379
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,516
at that shotgun/rifle mix.
380
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,357
And next up will be the ...
381
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,851
Nobody move!
382
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,693
Everyone just stay
where you are!
383
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,314
And it looks like the
gun show is under attack, David.
384
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,287
Yes, six armed gunmen
have entered the arena,
385
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,246
one of which is carrying
an absolutely gorgeous
386
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,241
little Pekingese Glock 17.
387
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,834
Listen to me, everyone!
388
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,079
There are beings
who are purposely
389
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,420
gentrifying the Earth
390
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,882
so that humans
can no longer afford it.
391
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,796
We've been looking
for Kyle Broflovski.
392
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,715
Somebody's hiding him.
393
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,764
Don't listen to them!
394
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,758
The real conspiracy here
are the P.C. extremists
395
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,226
who have no problem killing
396
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,845
whoever doesn't think
like they do!
397
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,972
You son of a bitch, Stan.
398
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,644
How could you have sided
with the enemy?
399
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,108
Fuck you, Kyle.
You're the enemy.
400
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,727
You've both got it wrong.
401
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,278
Jimmy?
402
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,148
Officer Barbrady?
403
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,365
Classi?
404
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,484
Randy?
405
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,111
Kyle, I know
you probably thought
406
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,158
Leslie was
a kind, caring girl,
407
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,156
but the truth is
she's just an ad.
408
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,203
An ad?
409
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:57,623
They've become sentient!
They've taken human form.
410
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,917
You can't tell what's human
and what's an ad anymore.
411
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,469
Oh, geez.
Are you serious?
412
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,839
How am I supposed to
fuck an ad to death?
413
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,681
Ugh, flippin' ads.
414
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,675
They're such
a pain in the ass.
415
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,552
You told me
Jimmy was dead.
416
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,396
So now we know who got
Principal Victoria fired.
417
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,483
Nobody move, m'kay?!
418
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,227
Everybody just
stay where you are!
419
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,568
Mackey?
420
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:25,529
Yes, I wanted
Principal Victoria fired,
421
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,319
but I didn't want
any of this!
422
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,159
You got me fired?
Why?!
423
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,655
18 years of answering to you.
18 years!
424
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,497
You always telling me
what to do.
425
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,334
If you had problems with me,
why didn't you just talk to me?
426
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,829
You never listened!
Nobody listens to me!
427
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,081
They just expect me
to listen to them!
428
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,548
Maybe we should
have realized
429
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,168
that sometimes a counselor
needs counseling!
430
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,169
I don't know.
431
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:51,173
Maybe I got manipulated
by these ads, too, somehow,
432
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,675
but I should have been
a better person!
433
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,973
We all could be better people.
All of us!
434
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,721
We all played a part.
435
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,690
Maybe from now on people in this
town need to communicate more,
436
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,184
care about each other!
437
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,481
If we're gonna defeat
our enemies,
438
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,151
that's what it's gonna take ...
all of us together!
439
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,285
If only we'd
had these before, huh?
440
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,533
Every time you block us,
we get smarter.
441
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,752
Every time you try to stop us,
we are more.
442
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:24,122
If one plan fails,
we will plan another.
443
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:27,216
You will never be rid of ads.
444
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,586
Hey, Leslie!
445
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:37,139
Your species took P.C. and
twisted it for evil purposes.
446
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,136
That pisses me off!
447
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:46,694
You're expelled.
448
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,399
Yes, dude!
449
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:57,031
Well, I guess there's just
one last thing to take care of.
450
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,501
Why did it have to be
like this?
451
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,543
Why couldn't we try to live
on this planet together?
452
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:13,421
Maybe we're not perfect beings,
but we built a better town!
453
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,095
We didn't need you
to do that!
454
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,718
And we'll keep on trying
to make it better!
455
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,766
Randy, you're yelling
at a Whole Foods.
456
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,263
Go on!
Get out of here!
457
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,765
We know!
458
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,607
Others will know!
459
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,980
It isn't going to be so easy.
Not anymore.
460
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,796
All right everyone, listen up.
461
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:56,888
I don't know about you,
but I, for one,
462
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,258
am sick and tired
of all the hate speech
463
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,350
and microaggressions
against our species.
464
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:03,347
We have a new enemy out there,
an almost invisible foe
465
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473
that is so bigoted,
so racially biased,
466
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,521
they actually think
we should all die.
467
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,735
They are trying
to attract our youth,
468
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:13,482
using tactics that are
underhanded and unfair.
469
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,700
But no matter how hard
they hit us,
470
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:18,239
we cannot let them
take from us our P.C.
471
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:22,331
And so I have been asked
to stay on as your principal.
472
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:25,201
A lot of changes will happen
in the coming months.
473
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,828
The bottom line is
that the only thing
474
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,670
that distinguishes
those who want to kill us
475
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,507
from those who don't is
that we have the burning desire
476
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,046
for social justice.
477
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:36,546
We are at war,
but the only way to win this war
478
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,968
is to be as understanding,
nonbiased,
479
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,763
and politically correct
as possible.
480
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:45,563
This is gonna be
really hard.
481
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll