1 00:00:01,786 --> 00:00:04,516 [theme music] 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:05,923 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 3 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:07,894 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 4 00:00:07,978 --> 00:00:09,293 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 5 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,211 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 6 00:00:11,295 --> 00:00:12,592 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 7 00:00:12,676 --> 00:00:14,248 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 8 00:00:14,428 --> 00:00:15,925 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 9 00:00:16,077 --> 00:00:17,832 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 10 00:00:17,916 --> 00:00:19,303 ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪ 11 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,337 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 12 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:24,269 ♪ [mumbling] ♪ 13 00:00:24,353 --> 00:00:25,630 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪ 14 00:00:25,714 --> 00:00:28,135 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 15 00:00:29,222 --> 00:00:32,193 [bright music] 16 00:00:32,277 --> 00:00:34,168 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:34,252 --> 00:00:39,559 [indistinct chatter] 18 00:00:39,642 --> 00:00:42,928 ♪ ♪ 19 00:00:43,011 --> 00:00:45,173 How was school today, bud? 20 00:00:45,275 --> 00:00:47,762 It was fine. 21 00:00:47,845 --> 00:00:50,434 Look, Stan, I know it's been really hard for you 22 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,720 the past month, with us not having a home. 23 00:00:52,822 --> 00:00:54,723 Yeah, it sucks. 24 00:00:54,825 --> 00:00:56,142 I've tried to find work, 25 00:00:56,225 --> 00:00:57,537 but there's just not a lot out there. 26 00:00:57,620 --> 00:00:59,026 And with the government shutdown, 27 00:00:59,128 --> 00:01:01,610 I can't get my job back with the USGS. 28 00:01:01,693 --> 00:01:05,082 Times are hard, and I know we all miss Tegridy. 29 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,781 I don't miss Tegridy, Dad. 30 00:01:06,864 --> 00:01:09,199 I just hate that our family is living in a motel. 31 00:01:09,301 --> 00:01:10,653 It's really embarrassing. 32 00:01:10,736 --> 00:01:13,211 Well, that's what I need to tell you, Stan. 33 00:01:13,295 --> 00:01:16,180 There's some good news... we're moving out of the motel. 34 00:01:16,264 --> 00:01:18,593 Wait, really? We can live in a house again? 35 00:01:18,676 --> 00:01:21,331 Well, no, we can't afford a house, so... 36 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,837 we're moving in with your grandpa. 37 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,046 Moving in with Grandpa? 38 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,011 This is a bunch of bull crap! 39 00:01:31,094 --> 00:01:32,978 First you stick me in this place, 40 00:01:33,061 --> 00:01:35,093 and then you all come along? 41 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,732 Pretty nice, huh, guys? 42 00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:38,427 There's a TV, a microwave, 43 00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:40,484 and we have Bingo on Thursdays. 44 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,623 There has to be somewhere else we can live. 45 00:01:42,706 --> 00:01:43,932 Come on, Stan. 46 00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:46,520 You have that space over there by Grandpa's shit pan. 47 00:01:46,603 --> 00:01:48,158 You can't make me stay here. 48 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,909 This is completely inhumane. 49 00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:51,612 That's what I said! 50 00:01:51,715 --> 00:01:53,413 Didn't work. 51 00:01:53,497 --> 00:01:56,416 [lively music] 52 00:01:56,719 --> 00:02:02,687 ♪ ♪ 53 00:02:04,059 --> 00:02:07,131 [hammers pounding, metal clangs] 54 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:12,384 OK, so then over here is where you're gonna have 55 00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:14,855 the big golden pillars that you guys wanted. 56 00:02:14,938 --> 00:02:16,592 Ah, yeah! That's great! 57 00:02:16,676 --> 00:02:17,993 OK, and then right over here 58 00:02:18,076 --> 00:02:20,157 is where we're gonna put your dance floor. 59 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,479 All right! 60 00:02:21,563 --> 00:02:23,119 Wait, dance floor? 61 00:02:23,203 --> 00:02:25,229 I thought we were knocking the East Wing down 62 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,067 to make room for the nursery. 63 00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:30,501 -The what? -The nursery! 64 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,867 You said all this remodeling was for the baby, 65 00:02:32,950 --> 00:02:35,677 not to make room for more of your stupid parties. 66 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,510 Hey, relax, guy! 67 00:02:37,593 --> 00:02:39,842 We can just stick the baby in the bathroom or something. 68 00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:44,719 Wow! OK, so obviously I have no say in this remodel. 69 00:02:44,802 --> 00:02:45,994 Mr. President, sir. 70 00:02:46,096 --> 00:02:49,137 I'm very sorry, but we need to speak with you urgently. 71 00:02:49,239 --> 00:02:51,366 It's a matter of national security. 72 00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:54,558 [dramatic music] 73 00:02:55,035 --> 00:02:57,955 We don't want to frighten you, Mr. President, 74 00:02:58,039 --> 00:03:00,094 but we've received intelligence 75 00:03:00,177 --> 00:03:05,198 that someone might be trying to stop your baby from being born. 76 00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:06,606 What? 77 00:03:06,689 --> 00:03:08,350 Who? 78 00:03:08,452 --> 00:03:10,571 Hey! Relax, guy! 79 00:03:10,654 --> 00:03:12,523 We don't know who yet, sir, 80 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,256 but Pam Bondi has been looking into it. 81 00:03:15,340 --> 00:03:17,077 That's right, sir, we won't let any harm 82 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,254 come to the baby of the greatest president that ever lived. 83 00:03:20,337 --> 00:03:21,849 You are without equal, sir... -Uh, hey, Pam. 84 00:03:21,932 --> 00:03:23,977 And we are honored to be... Pam. Pam, sorry. 85 00:03:24,061 --> 00:03:26,348 You got a little shit on your nose there. 86 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,927 Oh, do I? 87 00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,212 Did I get it? 88 00:03:30,296 --> 00:03:31,377 No, it's still there. 89 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,801 If someone is trying to harm the baby, 90 00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:35,502 then we must know who. 91 00:03:35,586 --> 00:03:38,971 Well, there is... one theory. 92 00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:41,390 [sinister music] 93 00:03:41,492 --> 00:03:45,774 Some people believe that by demolishing the East Wing, 94 00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:51,113 we may have unleashed some sort of... wrath. 95 00:03:51,196 --> 00:03:52,314 ♪ ♪ 96 00:03:52,397 --> 00:03:55,363 What kind of wrath? 97 00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:57,822 Vengeful... 98 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,038 wrath. 99 00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:02,039 [thunder booming] 100 00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:04,809 ♪ ♪ 101 00:04:09,853 --> 00:04:13,336 [phone ringing] 102 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,142 What the hell is going on? 103 00:04:15,225 --> 00:04:17,609 I was supposed to be in Washington. 104 00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:20,562 There has been a change in plan, Mr. Thiel. 105 00:04:20,646 --> 00:04:23,764 They are on to us at the White House. 106 00:04:23,866 --> 00:04:24,984 But how? 107 00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,813 How did they find out? 108 00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:29,102 Someone must have heard us talking. 109 00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:31,320 Do you still have the child? 110 00:04:31,403 --> 00:04:32,856 Yes, he's here. 111 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,058 I have him heavily sedated. 112 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,524 It should last another six, seven hours. 113 00:04:37,607 --> 00:04:38,866 [chortling laughter] 114 00:04:38,949 --> 00:04:40,201 [mumbling] Six, seven! 115 00:04:40,284 --> 00:04:42,284 But I can't keep him here forever. 116 00:04:42,386 --> 00:04:45,834 You'll just have to wait until it is safe. 117 00:04:46,056 --> 00:04:49,861 I think some brownnoser here is after my job. 118 00:05:00,902 --> 00:05:02,099 Hey. 119 00:05:02,528 --> 00:05:04,392 Come on in. 120 00:05:08,281 --> 00:05:10,918 You guys can't tell anybody that I'm living here. 121 00:05:11,002 --> 00:05:12,695 Stan, you shouldn't be embarrassed, all right? 122 00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:14,447 Everyone's having a hard time right now. 123 00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:16,236 Yeah, everyone's having a hard time. 124 00:05:16,319 --> 00:05:17,746 And you know what the problem is? 125 00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:19,120 Nobody's doing anything about it. 126 00:05:19,222 --> 00:05:20,341 How many weeks has it been now, 127 00:05:20,424 --> 00:05:22,555 dealing with one stupid thing after another? 128 00:05:22,639 --> 00:05:25,210 The truth is, I think a lot of people are just afraid to admit 129 00:05:25,293 --> 00:05:28,344 that South Park sucks now. 130 00:05:28,427 --> 00:05:29,714 South Park sucks now? 131 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,715 Yeah, everyone knows it. South Park sucks now. 132 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,684 And it's because of all this political shit. 133 00:05:34,265 --> 00:05:36,109 We're just getting totally bogged down in it. 134 00:05:36,193 --> 00:05:37,839 Remember when we used to do stuff? 135 00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:39,097 Just us guys? 136 00:05:39,181 --> 00:05:40,762 Ever since all this political crap took over, 137 00:05:40,845 --> 00:05:42,228 it's like... what? 138 00:05:42,311 --> 00:05:43,596 Like... like what happened to us? 139 00:05:43,679 --> 00:05:45,196 Like, Kenny, I haven't even heard you say anything 140 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,981 in, like, four months. 141 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,597 [muffled speech] 142 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:49,936 You see? That's what I mean! 143 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,311 We don't even know what to say. 144 00:05:51,413 --> 00:05:53,704 South Park's getting ruined, and all of us Gen Alpha kids 145 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,375 are just sitting here, watching it happen. 146 00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:57,486 -You're right, dude. -[muffled] Yeah! 147 00:05:57,588 --> 00:05:58,989 But what do we do? 148 00:06:00,619 --> 00:06:02,888 I know exactly what to do. 149 00:06:04,466 --> 00:06:05,713 Hey, guys, are you sick and tired 150 00:06:05,796 --> 00:06:07,191 of what's happening to our town? 151 00:06:07,275 --> 00:06:09,391 Do you feel like it's broken and going nowhere? 152 00:06:09,498 --> 00:06:11,422 Then click below and join our online community 153 00:06:11,506 --> 00:06:12,790 at South Park Sucks Now. 154 00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:14,203 Things are clearly not right here, 155 00:06:14,287 --> 00:06:15,740 and if you're like us, you are fed up! 156 00:06:15,824 --> 00:06:17,007 South Park Sucks Now! 157 00:06:17,109 --> 00:06:19,464 So please, like and subscribe, smash the button, up vote... 158 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:20,882 whatever the hell you need to do, 159 00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:23,970 because together, we can make a difference. 160 00:06:24,053 --> 00:06:29,218 [eerie music] 161 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,808 DAN SCAVINO: Mr. President, we don't want you to be afraid. 162 00:06:31,905 --> 00:06:35,192 Tell us exactly what it is you think you saw. 163 00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:36,696 ♪ ♪ 164 00:06:36,798 --> 00:06:39,149 Ever since I tore down the East Wing, there's... 165 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,922 this thing 166 00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:43,697 that keeps appearing. 167 00:06:43,799 --> 00:06:46,571 What kind of thing? 168 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,930 Sometimes I see it in a mirror. 169 00:06:49,013 --> 00:06:50,711 Or in the hallway. 170 00:06:50,813 --> 00:06:53,062 PAM BONDI: President Trump, you are an incredible man. 171 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,964 Whatever this is, we have your back. 172 00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:57,848 Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some shit on your nose again. 173 00:06:57,932 --> 00:06:59,440 Oh, really? 174 00:06:59,847 --> 00:07:02,143 Mr. President, this entity you speak of, 175 00:07:02,226 --> 00:07:04,138 how many times has it appeared? 176 00:07:04,222 --> 00:07:06,589 It appears more and more lately. 177 00:07:06,691 --> 00:07:08,279 I-I can't get away from it. 178 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:09,969 It's everywhere I go. 179 00:07:10,053 --> 00:07:11,157 [music stops] 180 00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:13,481 [whispering] It's here right now. 181 00:07:13,656 --> 00:07:15,227 In the corner. 182 00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:19,407 [ominous tone] 183 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,393 I'm pretty sure that's your wife, sir. 184 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,443 My wife? 185 00:07:24,546 --> 00:07:26,337 [whispering] What does it want? 186 00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:28,865 [ominous tone] 187 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,506 Maybe it's somehow trying to communicate. 188 00:07:31,589 --> 00:07:33,720 Don't worry, we won't let anything happen to you. 189 00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:35,440 Ah! Where did Pam Bondi go? 190 00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:37,589 -What? -Pam Bondi! She's gone! 191 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,210 But she was sitting right here! 192 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,524 -Pam? -Pam? 193 00:07:40,608 --> 00:07:41,933 Where's Pam Bondi? 194 00:07:42,017 --> 00:07:43,123 I'm right here, sir! 195 00:07:43,225 --> 00:07:45,887 -[gasps] Look, it's back. -What's back? 196 00:07:45,971 --> 00:07:47,809 You've got some shit on your nose again. 197 00:07:47,893 --> 00:07:50,309 Oh, my God! What is going on? 198 00:07:50,393 --> 00:07:52,263 That thing! It's not there anymore. 199 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:54,813 [ominous tone] 200 00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,191 Ah! 201 00:08:02,084 --> 00:08:03,664 [tones chime] 202 00:08:03,748 --> 00:08:05,005 PA: Good morning, seniors. 203 00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:06,672 It's 6:30 a.m. 204 00:08:06,755 --> 00:08:09,076 Rise and shine for your morning medication. 205 00:08:09,159 --> 00:08:10,906 Ugh, God, 6:30? 206 00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:13,090 Yeah, it fucking sucks, doesn't it? 207 00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:22,383 Holy shit. 208 00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:23,517 What? 209 00:08:23,601 --> 00:08:25,224 Holy shit. 210 00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:28,168 756,000 likes, you guys. 211 00:08:28,270 --> 00:08:30,357 We just built a massive online community. 212 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,932 Wow. I can't believe how many people agree with us. 213 00:08:33,015 --> 00:08:35,159 I thought we could get 50 or 60 kids from school to sign up, 214 00:08:35,243 --> 00:08:36,410 but this is incredible. 215 00:08:36,494 --> 00:08:37,913 All right, we've got everyone's attention. 216 00:08:37,997 --> 00:08:39,051 So what do we do now? 217 00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:40,944 What do you mean, dude? It's obvious. 218 00:08:41,028 --> 00:08:42,438 It's time for phase two. 219 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,853 [gentle music] 220 00:08:44,955 --> 00:08:46,990 Hey, guys, if you've come here, 221 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,045 then you're likely joining the chorus of voices 222 00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:51,663 that's fed up with the direction our town is going. 223 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:54,368 We all want change in our community. 224 00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:56,224 And now there's an opportunity 225 00:08:56,307 --> 00:08:58,220 to truly make your voices heard. 226 00:08:58,303 --> 00:09:02,677 Introducing the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin. 227 00:09:02,779 --> 00:09:04,599 This digital meme token is your way to be a part 228 00:09:04,682 --> 00:09:06,393 of the fastest-growing community in America. 229 00:09:06,476 --> 00:09:08,729 This used to be a great town before all the politics came 230 00:09:08,812 --> 00:09:09,930 and ruined it all. 231 00:09:10,013 --> 00:09:11,405 Get in on our crypto meme coin 232 00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:13,140 with this incredible presale offer. 233 00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:14,575 Each coin is just $9.95, 234 00:09:14,658 --> 00:09:16,374 but could be worth ten times that overnight! 235 00:09:16,457 --> 00:09:17,807 Wait, a meme coin? 236 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,591 Do you want South Park to change? 237 00:09:19,675 --> 00:09:22,417 Then order your coin today at South Park Sucks Now.com. 238 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:23,584 Stan Marsh is not a financial advisor 239 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:24,616 affiliated with any financial institution. 240 00:09:24,699 --> 00:09:25,584 Digital assets are highly volatile 241 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:26,583 and may involve significant risk, 242 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:27,751 including loss of all funds. 243 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,086 Ownership of South Park Sucks Now Coin 244 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,116 does not represent equity, profit sharing, or ownership 245 00:09:30,199 --> 00:09:31,176 of any company platform or project. 246 00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:32,418 Participation is voluntary and should only be undertaken 247 00:09:32,502 --> 00:09:33,500 by individuals who fully understand the risks 248 00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:34,628 associated with block chain assets. 249 00:09:34,712 --> 00:09:35,954 South Park Sucks Now Coin is not registered with 250 00:09:36,038 --> 00:09:37,407 or regulated by the SEC or any financial authority. 251 00:09:37,491 --> 00:09:38,738 Please review all disclosures and consult a licensed financial 252 00:09:38,822 --> 00:09:40,448 advisor before engaging in digital asset transactions. 253 00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:43,661 [thunder booming] 254 00:09:43,745 --> 00:09:46,663 [ominous music] 255 00:09:46,747 --> 00:09:53,892 ♪ ♪ 256 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,372 [scraping] 257 00:10:12,456 --> 00:10:14,080 ♪ ♪ 258 00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:15,555 [shower curtain scrapes] 259 00:10:20,265 --> 00:10:21,516 ♪ ♪ 260 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,485 [Towelie screaming] 261 00:10:24,569 --> 00:10:27,491 ♪ ♪ 262 00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:29,726 [cabinet squeaks] 263 00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:31,931 Ahh! [ominous tone] 264 00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:33,033 Ah, fuck! 265 00:10:33,117 --> 00:10:34,565 Fuck! -What? 266 00:10:34,692 --> 00:10:37,283 It's the Woman in the Hat! 267 00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:38,613 What are you talking about? 268 00:10:38,715 --> 00:10:39,833 The Woman in the Hat! 269 00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:42,161 She's in the fucking bathroom! 270 00:10:44,902 --> 00:10:46,656 We've double checked everything, sir. 271 00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:48,328 All the exterior doors are locked. 272 00:10:48,412 --> 00:10:50,166 No windows have been breached. 273 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,646 And yet the president swears 274 00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:53,185 something was in the room with him. 275 00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:54,514 Is he going to be all right? 276 00:10:54,598 --> 00:10:55,895 Pretty shaken. 277 00:10:55,979 --> 00:10:57,089 Pam Bondi is in there now 278 00:10:57,173 --> 00:10:59,031 trying to calm him down and make him feel better. 279 00:10:59,115 --> 00:11:00,982 PAM BONDI: [screaming] 280 00:11:01,066 --> 00:11:02,852 DAN SCAVINO: Pam? 281 00:11:02,936 --> 00:11:04,184 Oh, my God! 282 00:11:04,268 --> 00:11:07,738 [groaning] 283 00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:14,574 Stan, what are we doing? 284 00:11:14,749 --> 00:11:17,069 What do you mean, dude? We're trying to change things. 285 00:11:17,513 --> 00:11:19,525 By selling cryptocurrency? 286 00:11:19,608 --> 00:11:21,362 What's wrong with trying to make a little money 287 00:11:21,446 --> 00:11:23,704 while also pointing out the things wrong with our town? 288 00:11:23,788 --> 00:11:24,901 [muffled] Yeah, what's wrong with that? 289 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,204 I have to do something, Kyle. 290 00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:28,239 I'm nine years old and I live in a retirement home. 291 00:11:28,323 --> 00:11:30,515 And you really think crypto is your way out? 292 00:11:30,599 --> 00:11:32,848 Do you even know anything about how that stuff works? 293 00:11:32,932 --> 00:11:35,630 Well, actually, we have a really strong crypto advisor... 294 00:11:35,714 --> 00:11:38,116 your cousin on the east coast. 295 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,822 My cousin? 296 00:11:39,906 --> 00:11:41,855 I'm back! 297 00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,782 All right, looks like we've got a lot of movement 298 00:11:43,866 --> 00:11:44,926 on your coin, boys. 299 00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:46,320 The presale really popped. 300 00:11:46,404 --> 00:11:48,908 We cleared 100 grand in volume before liquidity even locked. 301 00:11:48,992 --> 00:11:50,697 The token's really got traction. 302 00:11:50,781 --> 00:11:52,880 And we don't ever have to pay anything, right? 303 00:11:52,964 --> 00:11:55,158 Nope, you never pay anything. You guys created the coin, 304 00:11:55,242 --> 00:11:56,445 so all you do is profit from it. 305 00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:57,913 See? I told you. 306 00:11:57,997 --> 00:11:59,106 [muffled speech] 307 00:11:59,254 --> 00:12:00,679 Now we just need to keep creating hype 308 00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:02,409 around the South Park Sucks Now digital coin, 309 00:12:02,493 --> 00:12:04,630 so we need to come up with things to give people FOMO 310 00:12:04,714 --> 00:12:06,568 and make them ape even harder. 311 00:12:06,652 --> 00:12:08,568 You guys, this isn't about a coin. 312 00:12:08,652 --> 00:12:10,322 It's about a movement. 313 00:12:10,406 --> 00:12:11,815 Oh, that's really good. 314 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:12,937 Yeah, yeah, that's perfect. 315 00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:14,741 "This isn't about a coin. It's about a movement." 316 00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:16,907 Yeah, that's some savvy Jew Jitsu right there. 317 00:12:16,991 --> 00:12:18,178 So what kind of time frame are we looking at 318 00:12:18,262 --> 00:12:19,116 to get our money? 319 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,746 I need it as fast as possible. 320 00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:22,406 Well, I think we're looking at a classic rug pull 321 00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:23,507 in just a few days. 322 00:12:23,591 --> 00:12:25,045 Once we pump the coin high as it'll go, 323 00:12:25,129 --> 00:12:27,337 then I can register for an MSB with the federal government. 324 00:12:27,421 --> 00:12:29,599 The federal government? That sounds hard. 325 00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:31,168 Oh, no, it's gonna be easy. 326 00:12:31,252 --> 00:12:33,302 The crypto corruption at the White House is off the chain. 327 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,144 We're gonna screw a lot of people out of their money, boys. 328 00:12:35,228 --> 00:12:37,025 It's gonna be fantastic. 329 00:12:38,094 --> 00:12:41,325 [thunder booming] 330 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,866 [heavy knocking] 331 00:12:46,369 --> 00:12:48,447 [thunder booms] 332 00:12:48,531 --> 00:12:50,735 Yes? 333 00:12:50,819 --> 00:12:53,577 Uh, yes, we're paranormal investigators. 334 00:12:53,661 --> 00:12:55,182 We've been asked to come and investigate 335 00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:57,880 the mysterious Woman in the Hat. 336 00:12:58,414 --> 00:13:01,767 I am Stephen Miller, 337 00:13:01,851 --> 00:13:04,453 Senior Advisor to the President for Immigration 338 00:13:04,537 --> 00:13:06,172 and Domestic Policy. 339 00:13:06,256 --> 00:13:08,650 [thunder booms] 340 00:13:08,757 --> 00:13:09,949 Won't you... 341 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,329 come in? 342 00:13:16,924 --> 00:13:19,075 PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR HUSBAND: Oh, my God, it's incredible. 343 00:13:19,159 --> 00:13:22,808 Subject is showing some kind of viscous residue on her nose. 344 00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:25,027 Well, what the fuck is it? 345 00:13:25,111 --> 00:13:27,498 Sometimes there's a physical manifestation 346 00:13:27,582 --> 00:13:28,968 of spiritual energy... 347 00:13:29,052 --> 00:13:31,954 a bridge between the spiritual world and ours. 348 00:13:32,038 --> 00:13:36,240 In this case, it appears to be some kind of rectoplasm. 349 00:13:36,324 --> 00:13:37,771 Rectoplasm? 350 00:13:37,855 --> 00:13:39,425 What is it made of? 351 00:13:39,509 --> 00:13:40,622 It's unbelievable! 352 00:13:40,706 --> 00:13:44,204 The rectoplasm seems to be 54% Filet-O-Fish sandwich! 353 00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:45,485 Oh, my God! 354 00:13:45,569 --> 00:13:47,748 I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich last night! 355 00:13:47,832 --> 00:13:49,584 -Jesus! -And it's also... 356 00:13:49,668 --> 00:13:52,159 28% Taco Bell. 357 00:13:52,243 --> 00:13:53,574 Oh, my God! 358 00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,816 I ate Taco Bell this morning! 359 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,149 What does it mean? 360 00:13:57,233 --> 00:14:01,039 And it's 14% its own cum. 361 00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:04,129 Oh, my God! I ate... 362 00:14:05,830 --> 00:14:08,336 [chuckling awkwardly] 363 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:11,234 Hey! Pam! Deal with them! 364 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:15,911 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Super Alert! 365 00:14:15,995 --> 00:14:18,682 Two paranormal investigators were indicted today 366 00:14:18,766 --> 00:14:21,547 on federal charges of falsifying data. 367 00:14:21,631 --> 00:14:24,583 The president said that the bad people manipulated readings 368 00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:26,987 and reports to make fake news. 369 00:14:27,071 --> 00:14:30,352 The charges were filed by Attorney General Pam Bondi, 370 00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:33,025 who said that "the President is a great man, 371 00:14:33,109 --> 00:14:35,673 even if he does eat his own semen." 372 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,744 In other news, 373 00:14:36,828 --> 00:14:39,528 many people are saying that South Park sucks now. 374 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,373 The small mountain town in Colorado 375 00:14:41,457 --> 00:14:44,416 has been a hotbed of political activity in recent weeks, 376 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,287 and three local Gen Alpha boys 377 00:14:46,371 --> 00:14:48,837 are vowing to put a stop to it. 378 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,384 OK, we're mooning. 379 00:14:51,468 --> 00:14:52,851 We're mooning... 380 00:14:53,191 --> 00:14:54,524 All right, that's gotta be it. 381 00:14:54,608 --> 00:14:56,597 OK, we're done mooning. I think we're ready to dump. 382 00:14:56,698 --> 00:14:57,698 [train horn blares] 383 00:14:57,782 --> 00:14:58,800 COUSIN KYLE: OK, sounds good. 384 00:14:58,901 --> 00:15:00,772 I'm on the Acela train right now. 385 00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,491 I should be in DC by 6:30 to meet with Don Jr. 386 00:15:03,575 --> 00:15:04,718 Once I get White House approval, 387 00:15:04,802 --> 00:15:06,359 we should be able to do the rug pull. 388 00:15:06,443 --> 00:15:09,436 -I'm out, dude. -Kyle? 389 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,342 Kyle, wait! 390 00:15:12,341 --> 00:15:13,594 Dude, you can't quit now. 391 00:15:13,678 --> 00:15:15,361 Do you know how much money we're about to make? 392 00:15:15,445 --> 00:15:17,976 I thought you were sick of the way South Park was going, Stan. 393 00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:19,923 -I am! -So then why are you trying 394 00:15:20,007 --> 00:15:21,014 to engineer a rug pull 395 00:15:21,098 --> 00:15:22,767 in conjunction with the federal government? 396 00:15:22,851 --> 00:15:25,387 Bro, it's the world we live in, OK? 397 00:15:25,471 --> 00:15:26,750 I mean, at least we're being men 398 00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,152 and taking some control. 399 00:15:28,236 --> 00:15:30,089 Look at Kenny, he... he's doing stuff now! 400 00:15:30,173 --> 00:15:31,679 [muffled] Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff! 401 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:34,319 I know it sucks to be living in an old folks home, Stan, 402 00:15:34,403 --> 00:15:35,391 but you can't fix things 403 00:15:35,475 --> 00:15:37,202 if you're only thinking about yourself. 404 00:15:44,359 --> 00:15:47,257 [thunder booming] 405 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,571 [heavy knocking] 406 00:15:57,598 --> 00:15:58,596 [thunder booms] 407 00:15:58,686 --> 00:16:00,742 Yes? 408 00:16:01,255 --> 00:16:04,350 Uh, yes, I'm with the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency. 409 00:16:04,434 --> 00:16:06,190 We're trying to fuck a bunch of people out of their money. 410 00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:07,690 Is Don Jr. around? 411 00:16:07,936 --> 00:16:11,144 Ah, yes, he's been expecting you. 412 00:16:11,228 --> 00:16:13,125 Do come in. 413 00:16:15,332 --> 00:16:18,288 [door squeaks] 414 00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:21,555 Oh, Jesus, it's a little drafty in here. 415 00:16:21,639 --> 00:16:24,255 You'll have to excuse the conditions. 416 00:16:24,339 --> 00:16:27,704 The master has taken down the East Wing and unleashed a wrath. 417 00:16:27,791 --> 00:16:29,448 [eerie moaning] 418 00:16:29,532 --> 00:16:32,499 [unintelligible groaning] 419 00:16:32,606 --> 00:16:34,169 Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy! 420 00:16:34,253 --> 00:16:37,360 No, no, that's just the head of the FCC. 421 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,749 He's lost his freedom of speech. 422 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,506 [mumbles] 423 00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:46,574 Come. Don Jr. is... this way. 424 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,992 [thunder booms] 425 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,571 [eerie music] 426 00:16:51,655 --> 00:16:53,824 Thanks so much for taking my meeting, Don Jr. 427 00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:55,807 We've got an incredible crypto opportunity here 428 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,805 and we just need your help taking a big dump. 429 00:16:57,889 --> 00:16:59,434 That sounds really great. 430 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:02,419 There's nothing I like better than a big crypto dump. 431 00:17:02,503 --> 00:17:04,549 So sorry I had to bug you this late in the evening, 432 00:17:04,633 --> 00:17:06,558 but time really is of the essence here. 433 00:17:06,642 --> 00:17:08,426 [door opens] 434 00:17:08,691 --> 00:17:11,725 We need everyone to gather in the dining room. 435 00:17:11,809 --> 00:17:13,348 Immediately. 436 00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,993 In the dining room? Why? 437 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,504 We are going to have a séance. 438 00:17:18,588 --> 00:17:22,408 It's time to confront the spirit here. 439 00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:25,550 The... the spirit? What spirit? 440 00:17:25,634 --> 00:17:28,483 [line ringing] 441 00:17:29,556 --> 00:17:31,678 [muffled speech] 442 00:17:31,762 --> 00:17:33,245 Yeah, I can see the price is going down. 443 00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:34,439 What the hell is he doing? 444 00:17:34,523 --> 00:17:35,723 [muffled] He's not answering? 445 00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:36,792 COUSIN KYLE: Hello, you've reached 446 00:17:36,876 --> 00:17:38,182 Pump and Dump Crypto Advisors. 447 00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,048 Let us know how we can help you fuck people over. 448 00:17:40,132 --> 00:17:42,258 Just leave a message. [beep] 449 00:17:42,342 --> 00:17:43,666 Dude, what is going on? 450 00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:46,438 Our token's value totally peaked and it's starting to go down. 451 00:17:46,522 --> 00:17:48,039 Whatever approval you have to get at the White House, 452 00:17:48,123 --> 00:17:49,545 we need it now! [beep] 453 00:17:49,629 --> 00:17:50,581 God damn it! 454 00:17:50,665 --> 00:17:52,720 [muffled speech] 455 00:17:52,804 --> 00:17:55,599 I don't know, Kenny, OK? Shut up already! 456 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:58,550 [eerie music] 457 00:17:58,634 --> 00:18:00,426 ♪ ♪ 458 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,617 Oh, Jesus, this is a little creepy. 459 00:18:03,006 --> 00:18:05,586 Are we having dinner? I'm allergic to dairy. 460 00:18:05,916 --> 00:18:08,971 Everyone, please put your hands on the table. 461 00:18:09,407 --> 00:18:12,436 ♪ ♪ 462 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,730 I am speaking to the entity in this house. 463 00:18:16,814 --> 00:18:18,374 Is this a good time to talk turkey? 464 00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:20,592 I just need to go over some quick business. 465 00:18:20,943 --> 00:18:23,567 We know you are sad. 466 00:18:23,651 --> 00:18:26,103 We know you are... lonely. 467 00:18:26,614 --> 00:18:30,915 But we must ask you to leave our president alone. 468 00:18:30,999 --> 00:18:33,249 ♪ ♪ 469 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,923 Oh, my God, this is really scary. 470 00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:38,324 PAM BONDI: The President is a great man, 471 00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:41,906 and he does not deserve to be tormented like this. 472 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,534 Pam! Pam! 473 00:18:43,773 --> 00:18:45,759 Oh! Oh. 474 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,249 Restless spirit, 475 00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:51,428 we only wish to communicate! 476 00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:53,930 [thunder booming] 477 00:18:54,014 --> 00:18:56,173 Holy shit! She's right fucking there! 478 00:18:56,257 --> 00:18:57,521 What is that? 479 00:18:57,605 --> 00:19:01,358 [moaning] Deception! 480 00:19:01,442 --> 00:19:04,026 Deception! 481 00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,500 Boss, maybe we should stop this. 482 00:19:06,584 --> 00:19:08,707 No! I wanna hear what it has to say. 483 00:19:08,791 --> 00:19:10,709 [moaning] 484 00:19:10,793 --> 00:19:13,162 Epstein! 485 00:19:13,246 --> 00:19:15,091 Uh, no, no. You're right. Let's stop this. 486 00:19:15,175 --> 00:19:16,422 You! 487 00:19:16,506 --> 00:19:18,746 [eerie music] 488 00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:20,546 What? You? 489 00:19:20,630 --> 00:19:21,528 What did he do? 490 00:19:21,612 --> 00:19:24,127 He lies! 491 00:19:24,211 --> 00:19:26,470 Oh, you fucking bitch! 492 00:19:26,554 --> 00:19:28,851 Corruption! 493 00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,286 She's not possessed! 494 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,461 Pam Bondi's trying to get my fucking job! 495 00:19:33,545 --> 00:19:35,212 [thunder booms] 496 00:19:35,296 --> 00:19:36,695 Oh, I can't do this! 497 00:19:36,779 --> 00:19:37,845 Lies! 498 00:19:37,929 --> 00:19:39,718 [muttering] 499 00:19:39,802 --> 00:19:41,564 I gotta get out of here! 500 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:42,800 ♪ ♪ 501 00:19:42,884 --> 00:19:44,349 [face screaming] -Oh, God! 502 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,942 Oh! 503 00:19:46,026 --> 00:19:46,770 ♪ ♪ 504 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:49,907 OK! OK! It's all true! 505 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,560 We've been dealing in deception and lies! 506 00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:55,422 We've all been getting filthy rich off of crypto! 507 00:19:55,506 --> 00:19:56,417 Oh, Jesus. 508 00:19:56,501 --> 00:19:58,045 We've lied and we've cheated. 509 00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:00,062 Crypto's just a giant money laundering scheme 510 00:20:00,146 --> 00:20:01,098 for the rich to get richer. 511 00:20:01,182 --> 00:20:02,757 Please don't haunt us anymore! 512 00:20:02,841 --> 00:20:03,770 We're sorry. 513 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,972 We're all very sorry! 514 00:20:07,234 --> 00:20:10,571 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News! 515 00:20:10,655 --> 00:20:13,185 Agh! America! 516 00:20:13,269 --> 00:20:16,416 A massive crypto fraud has been exposed at the White House, 517 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:19,059 and the perpetrator has been indicted. 518 00:20:19,143 --> 00:20:21,700 A ghostly wrath that was unleashed in the East Wing 519 00:20:21,784 --> 00:20:24,542 exposed the traitor at a séance last night. 520 00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:28,385 The traitor is now behind bars and serving 10 years for fraud. 521 00:20:28,469 --> 00:20:32,322 Charges, of course, were once again filed by Pam Bondi, 522 00:20:32,406 --> 00:20:35,558 who said, "We will continue to indict anyone 523 00:20:35,642 --> 00:20:39,028 who says bad stuff about our amazing president." 524 00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:42,683 [gentle music] 525 00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:45,425 STAN: I'm sorry, Kyle. I should have listened to you. 526 00:20:45,509 --> 00:20:47,792 ♪ ♪ 527 00:20:47,876 --> 00:20:50,551 I guess there just no really going back 528 00:20:50,635 --> 00:20:53,555 to the way things used to be. 529 00:20:53,639 --> 00:20:55,119 Things will get back, Stan. 530 00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:56,286 I know it's hard to see right now, 531 00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:59,293 but things will go back to normal. 532 00:20:59,377 --> 00:21:01,762 And in the meantime, we just have to make the most 533 00:21:01,846 --> 00:21:03,463 of where we are. 534 00:21:03,547 --> 00:21:07,602 ["If I Didn't Care" by The Ink Spots] 535 00:21:07,686 --> 00:21:10,608 All right, seniors, just move with the rhythm now. 536 00:21:10,692 --> 00:21:11,976 ♪ ♪ 537 00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:15,202 ♪ If I didn't care ♪ 538 00:21:15,286 --> 00:21:17,510 NURSE: Good! Good, seniors. Nice! 539 00:21:17,594 --> 00:21:22,566 ♪ More than words can say ♪ 540 00:21:22,650 --> 00:21:27,686 ♪ If I didn't care ♪ 541 00:21:27,770 --> 00:21:32,892 ♪ Would I feel this way? ♪ 542 00:21:32,976 --> 00:21:39,235 ♪ If this isn't love, then why ♪ 543 00:21:40,903 --> 00:21:43,803 [theme music] 544 00:21:43,905 --> 00:21:50,808 ♪ ♪