1 00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,331 This is Ella Lee. 2 00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:13,290 And we bought this movie camera so we can 3 00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:16,859 take movies of her and Paris. 4 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,208 Here, Ella. 5 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,341 Santa Claus brought you a bracelet. 6 00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:22,212 It says "Ella." 7 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:23,213 Ella. 8 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:24,344 There we go. 9 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,129 Let's show Mama. 10 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,176 Look, it says "Ella." 11 00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:30,746 Hey mom, you need to open one. 12 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,069 - Is that for me? - Yeah. 13 00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:33,005 OK. 14 00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,398 Cool. 15 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:35,617 Open this one, Ella. 16 00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,014 Paris, hold your video game up. 17 00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:11,479 It was February 4, 2007. 18 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,179 I had to work Saturday, and then I had 19 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,226 to go back to work on Sunday. 20 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,532 It was Super Bowl Sunday. I hate football. 21 00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:29,714 Around midnight, the cops were at the front door. 22 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:35,155 They went to the manager's office. 23 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:38,636 They called my name. 24 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,487 They told me that my daughter had been hurt. 25 00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:46,209 And I was like, you need to take me to Ella now. 26 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,559 And they were like, you can't go. 27 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,518 And I'm like, what do you mean I can't go? 28 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,869 You just told me that she's hurt. 29 00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,566 She needs her mother. 30 00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,655 And then they said, well, she's dead. 31 00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:06,925 That made no sense because I left her 32 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:10,102 at home with her brother and a babysitter. 33 00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:16,239 And so I said, is my son OK? 34 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,502 And they said, we have him. 35 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:21,505 Then where is he? 36 00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:25,814 That's when everything stopped making sense. 37 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,391 Abilene 911. 38 00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,696 Hello? 39 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,742 Abilene 911. Go ahead. 40 00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:41,893 I I accidentally... 41 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,397 I accidentally killed somebody. 42 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,113 You think you killed somebody? 43 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,791 No, I know I did. 44 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,402 My sister. 45 00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:49,727 OK, where's your sister now? 46 00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:52,144 She's in the bed. 47 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,687 Is she breathing? 48 00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:54,582 No. 49 00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:57,193 I... I feel so messed up. 50 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,692 OK, calm down, OK? 51 00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,041 I want you to stay on the phone with me, OK? 52 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:03,044 Now what your sister's name? 53 00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,854 Her name is Ella, Ella Bennett. 54 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,223 How old is Ella? 55 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,552 Four. 56 00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:09,466 She's four years old? 57 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:10,598 Yes. 58 00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:11,599 How old are you? 59 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,078 13. 60 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,839 Is she bleeding anywhere? 61 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,841 Yes, she's bleeding all over the bed 62 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,041 because I stabbed her. 63 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,584 What did you stab her with? 64 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,044 A knife. 65 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,804 OK, where'd you stab her? 66 00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,962 Um, lots of places. 67 00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:29,225 OK, Paris, where's the knife? 68 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:32,097 It's on the bed with her. 69 00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,708 I didn't mean to. 70 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,163 I know, Paris. 71 00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,707 OK, I want you to stay calm for me, OK? 72 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:37,929 I was... 73 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,410 OK, listen to me. 74 00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,020 Paris. 75 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,151 Paris? 76 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:58,428 Four-year-old Ella Bennett was fatally stabbed. 77 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:02,737 Taken into custody was her 13-year-old brother. 78 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,521 Paris Bennett convinced 79 00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:08,699 his babysitter to go home early while their mom was gone. 80 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,962 He stabbed Ella 17 times. 81 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:23,018 There was police everywhere, 82 00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:29,241 news trucks, neighbors, the entire street was lit up. 83 00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:40,506 She was in a body bag, of course. 84 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:47,172 It was zipped up to her chin. 85 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:51,176 She had blood coming out of her mouth. 86 00:05:55,311 --> 00:06:03,311 She had a very large contusion on her forehead 87 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,191 where she see been punched. 88 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:15,462 I started screaming that I was sorry that I wasn't there. 89 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,557 They took her away. 90 00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:26,342 Everybody left. 91 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:29,345 Four hours later, I was sitting in the defense 92 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:35,090 attorney's office, trying to take care 93 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,875 of the only child I had left. 94 00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:46,623 To be a good mom to Paris, I felt like I was betraying Ella. 95 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:50,410 And to have said what happened to Ella was wrong, 96 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,460 I would have had to have been a bad mom to Paris. 97 00:06:56,981 --> 00:07:00,811 Paris had positioned himself in a chair 98 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,102 in the very back of the room. 99 00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:10,386 He said, you used to say that you would 100 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:15,913 never be able to kill anybody unless they 101 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:19,482 hurt one of your kids. 102 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,661 I bet you didn't think it was going to turn out like this. 103 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,072 So what are you going to do now? 104 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,294 I was 18. 105 00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:51,601 It was totally not in the plan. 106 00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:54,865 But from the minute I found out that I was pregnant, 107 00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,519 I immediately fell in love with Paris. 108 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:02,394 I was a crazy teenager. 109 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:06,964 By the time I was 17 years old, I was strung out on heroin, 110 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:09,837 had skipped the 10th grade, and then graduated 111 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:12,230 high school with honors. 112 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:16,626 About a year after, I got sober, and I met Paris' dad. 113 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:19,890 But I was miserable still. 114 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,853 Everybody had been telling me that you 115 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:30,161 get sober, you get your life together, it'll get better. 116 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,685 Well, it wasn't. 117 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:35,819 It was just hard without anything 118 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,030 to take the edge off of it. 119 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:46,656 So I had made a deal with myself that if I'm 120 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:50,094 not happy in a month, I'm going to overdose. 121 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,539 But when I found out that I was pregnant with Paris, 122 00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:02,498 he saved my life. 123 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:05,501 It didn't matter anymore how hard everything was. 124 00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,155 I knew I had Paris to look forward to. 125 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:14,205 And I used to tell them that, one of these days, 126 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:16,120 you're going to have to remind me to tell 127 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:20,037 you how you saved my life. 128 00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:24,172 13 years later, of course, he destroyed it. 129 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:44,148 We've got 50 acres between this 130 00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,542 and then across over there where the lake 131 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,370 and everything is, big lake. 132 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,112 Hey, girls. How are my girls? 133 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:55,812 We have chickens, goats, and the horses, dogs, and cats. 134 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:59,599 We have fresh eggs. 135 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,340 We have a wash bay for our horses. 136 00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:05,300 It's got hot and cold running water so they 137 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:08,912 don't have to take cold baths. 138 00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,435 I owned a trucking company. 139 00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:14,178 I was a US mail contractor. 140 00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:17,007 One of the largest in the United States. 141 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,444 Charity's father helped me get started, 142 00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,229 and he was involved with it. 143 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:25,189 But because of financial reasons, 144 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,105 everything was always owned by me. 145 00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,634 All the flowers we planted for Ella. 146 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,723 She loved butterflies. 147 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:41,162 I was supposed to plant her a butterfly garden that spring. 148 00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,338 So every time we see butterflies, 149 00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:45,775 especially the big monarchs, we always say, hey, Ella. 150 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,783 Kiss your sister. 151 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:58,135 Ella loves her big brother and his toys. 152 00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:02,400 Ella was Ella. 153 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:06,187 Whereas Paris would walk into a room, and he would be polite, 154 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:09,538 Ella would announce her arrival. 155 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,324 She would say, I'm Ella, y'all can have fun now. 156 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:19,983 She was bossy, extremely opinionated. 157 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:24,553 But very, very loving. 158 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,816 She had it in her mind that we had 159 00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:29,297 to adopt half of her pre-kindergarten class 160 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,647 because they would tell her that they got into a fight 161 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:32,996 with their mom or something. 162 00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:39,350 Ella fit a very large personality 163 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,612 into a very small body. 164 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:47,489 Ella, she was a pistol. 165 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,447 She came to stay with me one weekend, 166 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:52,102 and I guess Charity talked at home about what 167 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:55,192 she didn't like about me. 168 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:58,152 So Ella comes out for breakfast, and she 169 00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,937 puts her hand on her hip, and she says, well, Mama. 170 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,547 She said, I just wanna tell you. 171 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,767 She said, I love you. 172 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:07,204 I don't care if my mama hates you, I love you. 173 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,256 And she always said what was ever on her mind. 174 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,132 She just... she brought life into everybody. 175 00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:29,226 I'm horrified about what he did to Ella, 176 00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:33,709 but I never stopped loving Paris. 177 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,624 And I'll never stop loving Charity. 178 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,105 She's still my daughter, much to her chagrin. 179 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:48,898 I haven't talked to my mom in years. 180 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:52,249 And contact before that was sketchy at best. 181 00:12:56,297 --> 00:13:00,692 My mom was an extremely beautiful woman. 182 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:09,484 She's been married 7 times, 8 times. 183 00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:14,184 I can't remember if she has Liz Taylor beat yet or not. 184 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:18,536 Some of the things I did weren't probably very motherly. 185 00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:23,063 Um, you know, I started drinking some, did some drugs. 186 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,562 I mean I didn't do them in front of her. 187 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,588 I mean, she had nannies. 188 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:30,157 But um, you know, I probably wasn't there. 189 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:33,987 I didn't give her all the attention that she wanted. 190 00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:37,512 She seemed to want quite a bit. 191 00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:40,167 Nothing was ever good enough for her. 192 00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:43,170 I often remember thinking that she just really didn't like me. 193 00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:49,437 It wasn't that I didn't approve of her. 194 00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,831 It's just that she does, she did things differently 195 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:55,443 than I would have done them. 196 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:59,621 You know, I chose to be a mother and to have a life. 197 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:03,755 And um, later on in life... 198 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,933 She didn't seem to mind at the time, but as she got older, 199 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:10,066 she seemed to resent the fact that I actually had a life too, 200 00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:11,720 besides just her. 201 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:24,298 Today, we're going to talk about healthy boundaries. 202 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,588 I want everybody to stand up. 203 00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:31,174 Crystal, tell me something that you're upset or feeling 204 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,480 stressed over right now. 205 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,742 CPS. 206 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,744 CPS. 207 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,225 Valerie, comfort Crystal. 208 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:41,010 It'll be OK. 209 00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,011 Was that comforting? 210 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,012 Yes. 211 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,013 Really? 212 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,951 The night that Ella died, I made her 213 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:52,152 a promise that something meaningful 214 00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:55,503 would come out of her death. 215 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:59,072 I tell myself that it's OK to enjoy life, 216 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,354 but there's always that thought in the back of my mind, 217 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:04,338 well, Ella's not here to enjoy it with me. 218 00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:07,254 So I set up the ELLA Foundation to prevent 219 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,343 violence by sharing our story. 220 00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,823 Focus on the entire dynamic. 221 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,303 We are done. 222 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,218 Next week, we go back to family systems. 223 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,578 The benefits of being single. 224 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,844 After Paris killed his sister, I was 225 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,848 not trying to get Paris off. 226 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:40,417 I wanted to get Paris help and try 227 00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,463 to get my kid into a mental institution, 228 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,334 especially as a minor. 229 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,858 I felt like I needed to figure out what was wrong with him, 230 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,709 not just lock him up and throw away the key. 231 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:55,128 I offered the DA that I would pay the expense 232 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:58,174 for a mental institution. 233 00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,568 If he needed to stay there for the rest of his life, 234 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,657 then he'd stay there for the rest of his life, 235 00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:06,748 but I wanted him to have help. 236 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,925 His defense attorney wanted not guilty. 237 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,623 What good would that have done Paris? 238 00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,554 He wouldn't have been able to come to my home. 239 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:17,585 I was scared to death of him. 240 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:21,241 The prosecution wanted to make sure that Paris was given 241 00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:22,571 the maximum sentence possible. 242 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,595 He just gets locked up. 243 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:28,725 That's it. 244 00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,818 I don't think Paris is capable of curing himself. 245 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:43,567 There are better ways of handling 246 00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,265 even somebody like Paris. 247 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,706 Not forget about them. 248 00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:56,363 Not force them to grow up in these violent worlds 249 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:59,453 that the prisons are. 250 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:04,197 Somebody should be giving a damn what's 251 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:05,522 going to happen with that kid. 252 00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:07,461 We are at Paris' lip sync show. 253 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:29,352 Paris was a ridiculously smart kid. 254 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,789 He has an IQ of 142. 255 00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,888 He was always artistic, creative. 256 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:48,067 He started to draw when he was three. 257 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:04,692 He was a calm child. 258 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,567 I mean, he would tell lies sometimes, yeah. 259 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:15,311 He would throw temper tantrums sometimes, yeah. 260 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:19,098 And Paris was not happy when I was pregnant with Ella. 261 00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:22,449 And I was concerned. 262 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:30,109 But the day that Ella was born, he fell in love. 263 00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,029 Rawr. 264 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:58,572 Ella absolutely adored Paris. 265 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,791 Anything Paris did, Ella had to do. 266 00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:08,277 Paris would pick her clothes out every day. 267 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,323 He was her fashion consultant, she said. 268 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,241 Hello. 269 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,984 This is Paris Bennett, reporting live. 270 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:21,247 This is Ella's Ball Pit. 271 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,597 Reporting live at Ella's Ball Pit. 272 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:27,601 This is the suspect of the dirty diaper, 273 00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:31,866 creating dirty diaper, Ella, Ella Lee Bennett. 274 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:34,738 I used to have parents come up to me and tell me how lucky I 275 00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:36,914 was that I had a 13-year-old that was 276 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,285 so good with his little sister. 277 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:45,619 But they quickly changed their opinions about Paris. 278 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:46,837 You know, that was Abilene. 279 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,854 Abilene is interesting. 280 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:07,075 It's a world record in the Guinness Book as the most 281 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,686 churches per capita. 282 00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:12,950 There's almost more churches than there are people. 283 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:16,867 Everyone knows everybody, and everybody talks about everyone. 284 00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,218 I remember people discussing what kind of books 285 00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:22,873 did Paris read, and what kind of video games did he play. 286 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,919 But um, I believe Charity got the brunt of that, 287 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,400 because even if it's a book that he's reading, well, 288 00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,271 who got him the book? 289 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:30,683 And even if it's a video game that he's playing, well, who 290 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,143 allowed him to play the game? 291 00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:40,978 Charity took a lot of heat for her situation. 292 00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:44,068 People were very cruel to her. 293 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,419 She'd be in a shop, you're the mother that... 294 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:48,899 Your son. 295 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:52,642 It's like that's... there's only one judge, and I'm not it. 296 00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:02,391 What were some of the questions I would get? 297 00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:06,656 Did you know Paris was different? 298 00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:08,745 Were there any warning signs? 299 00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:12,401 Was he abused? 300 00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:15,796 I think people do have a hard time getting their head 301 00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:19,974 around the concept of Paris. 302 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,499 I remember being angry all day long, 303 00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,743 and thinking all day long. 304 00:21:49,873 --> 00:21:51,832 I wanted to hurt somebody. 305 00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:53,703 I'm going to snap. 306 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:59,100 And it wasn't... initially, I thought about the babysitter. 307 00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,276 I thought about going down the street 308 00:22:01,407 --> 00:22:04,758 and seeing somebody I knew. 309 00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:08,152 And I thought about hurting a stranger. 310 00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:11,547 I don't remember exactly at what point 311 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:12,983 I decided it's going to be Ella. 312 00:22:16,465 --> 00:22:19,294 For a few moments, for a few minutes after it happened, 313 00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:21,383 it almost seemed like it was a dream, 314 00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:24,212 like it hadn't just happened. 315 00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:28,825 Because I had left the room and everything, and I was just 316 00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:31,828 hyperventilating. 317 00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:34,527 And then I had walked back in, and I had looked, 318 00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:37,399 and I had seen Ella. 319 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:42,535 And when I did, it hit me like a punch in the gut 320 00:22:42,665 --> 00:22:46,843 that, no, I really just did that. 321 00:22:46,974 --> 00:22:51,108 And I called 911 because I felt like I needed 322 00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,414 to do something about this. 323 00:22:52,545 --> 00:22:54,764 I need... maybe they can do something. 324 00:22:54,895 --> 00:22:59,203 Maybe... maybe it's not too late. 325 00:23:05,253 --> 00:23:08,778 Paris could have been avoided if all of us 326 00:23:08,909 --> 00:23:13,348 had been willing to let go of our own lives a little bit. 327 00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:17,047 Go over there with Ella. 328 00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:19,006 Stand next to Ella. 329 00:23:19,136 --> 00:23:20,877 You ready? 330 00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:23,358 Paris came to live with us for seven months, 331 00:23:23,489 --> 00:23:26,666 and then he went to live with Charity. 332 00:23:26,796 --> 00:23:28,537 They just really lived between homes. 333 00:23:28,668 --> 00:23:31,188 They lived half the time with us and half the time with Charity. 334 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,153 I think I used to be scared of Paris without knowing 335 00:23:36,284 --> 00:23:38,373 that I was truly scared of him. 336 00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:40,304 I knew that I just didn't want to talk to him. 337 00:23:43,378 --> 00:23:45,162 We knew, all of us knew, that there 338 00:23:45,293 --> 00:23:47,556 was something wrong with Paris. 339 00:23:47,687 --> 00:23:51,865 Charity knew, I knew. 340 00:23:51,995 --> 00:23:56,652 From the time Paris was born, he was different. 341 00:23:56,783 --> 00:23:59,307 He was never real sociable. 342 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,004 He was never real affectionate. 343 00:24:01,135 --> 00:24:03,311 Ella, talk to us, Ella. 344 00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,442 Talk. 345 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,315 Come on, Ella. 346 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,449 And when Ella was born, he wasn't the center 347 00:24:10,579 --> 00:24:13,060 of the universe anymore. 348 00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:16,411 It seemed like all of a sudden, he couldn't do anything right. 349 00:24:20,850 --> 00:24:23,287 And Ella couldn't do anything wrong. 350 00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:27,640 Yay! 351 00:24:27,770 --> 00:24:29,293 Look at Ella walk. 352 00:24:32,732 --> 00:24:35,299 And I think he really resented that. 353 00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:02,630 - Woo! - Hey. 354 00:25:05,634 --> 00:25:07,462 Bad Ella, bad, bad. 355 00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:11,150 Paris, what is your problem? 356 00:25:14,164 --> 00:25:17,690 Mom, what's your least favorite word? 357 00:25:17,820 --> 00:25:18,820 My what? 358 00:25:18,865 --> 00:25:21,476 Your least favorite word. 359 00:25:21,607 --> 00:25:23,347 Butt crack. 360 00:25:23,478 --> 00:25:25,088 Or sentence. 361 00:25:25,219 --> 00:25:28,222 I don't know. 362 00:25:28,352 --> 00:25:29,702 "Kill Charity's children"? 363 00:25:29,832 --> 00:25:30,832 Paris... 364 00:25:40,626 --> 00:25:42,546 Paris would pound his head against the wall 365 00:25:42,628 --> 00:25:45,021 till it would bleed, or he had thrown 366 00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:47,589 glass all over the place. 367 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,156 I guess he was screeching for help, 368 00:25:49,286 --> 00:25:53,334 but we just didn't pay any attention. 369 00:25:53,464 --> 00:25:56,729 We were so caught up in our own turmoil 370 00:25:56,859 --> 00:25:59,340 that Paris just kinda got left to the wayside. 371 00:26:04,301 --> 00:26:06,913 But I always thought he would take it out on Charity. 372 00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:09,742 I never dreamed he would take it out on Ella. 373 00:26:26,889 --> 00:26:28,649 After Paris' sentencing, 374 00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:32,155 his assessor told me, you deserve to know 375 00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:33,592 that your son is a sociopath. 376 00:26:37,944 --> 00:26:42,383 Happy birthday to you. 377 00:26:43,384 --> 00:26:48,432 Happy birthday to you. 378 00:26:48,563 --> 00:26:52,175 And I remember saying, you are wrong. 379 00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:55,091 There has to be a better explanation. 380 00:26:59,530 --> 00:27:03,926 But six months or so after that phone call and things 381 00:27:04,057 --> 00:27:08,452 his caseworkers told me, I started wondering, 382 00:27:08,583 --> 00:27:12,195 is his doctor right? 383 00:27:12,326 --> 00:27:13,980 So I had a psychopath checklist youth 384 00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:15,372 version administered to Paris. 385 00:27:22,379 --> 00:27:25,774 And then re-evaluated by other assessors. 386 00:27:29,386 --> 00:27:32,651 The last person that I contacted was Dr. Park Dietz. 387 00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:41,181 He gave me the number of a risk management firm, 388 00:27:41,311 --> 00:27:44,140 and he told me that I should stop spending so much money 389 00:27:44,271 --> 00:27:47,317 on my son, and I should start spending my money 390 00:27:47,448 --> 00:27:50,233 on changing my identity and hiding for when 391 00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:51,364 my son got out of prison. 392 00:27:55,238 --> 00:27:59,808 But I really don't know if I can walk away from Paris. 393 00:27:59,939 --> 00:28:01,779 There are people who would murder my child just 394 00:28:01,810 --> 00:28:04,334 to make a name for themselves. 395 00:28:04,465 --> 00:28:05,640 I killed the child killer. 396 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:58,345 Phoenix was born with a very severe heart defect. 397 00:28:58,475 --> 00:29:00,608 There we go. 398 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,872 He ended up having open heart surgery at six days old. 399 00:29:06,875 --> 00:29:11,445 But obviously, he made it because he's still here. 400 00:29:12,620 --> 00:29:16,972 He's on heart medication, and then he had to have 401 00:29:17,103 --> 00:29:21,237 this feeding tube put in. 402 00:29:21,368 --> 00:29:22,368 You're OK. 403 00:29:25,024 --> 00:29:27,461 Shh, love, breathe. 404 00:29:27,591 --> 00:29:31,334 After six years of not having Ella and having Paris 405 00:29:31,465 --> 00:29:34,381 the way that I do, Phoenix reminds me 406 00:29:34,511 --> 00:29:35,751 what it feels like to be happy. 407 00:29:39,603 --> 00:29:42,998 When I first told Paris that Phoenix had a heart defect, 408 00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:47,176 Paris started to cry, like really cry. 409 00:29:47,307 --> 00:29:51,398 And I've never heard Paris cry like that, ever, not over Ella, 410 00:29:52,312 --> 00:29:54,401 not over where he is. 411 00:29:58,231 --> 00:30:00,494 I remember him saying something to the effect of, 412 00:30:00,624 --> 00:30:04,890 after everything I did to you, it's really not fair that... 413 00:30:05,020 --> 00:30:07,457 That you have to go through this again. 414 00:30:10,330 --> 00:30:12,462 Let's find your brother. 415 00:30:12,593 --> 00:30:17,032 It's like playing Where's Waldo, only not really as much fun. 416 00:30:19,295 --> 00:30:22,646 Paris Lee Bennett. 417 00:30:22,777 --> 00:30:26,825 Paris was just transferred to an adult unit. 418 00:30:26,955 --> 00:30:30,829 This is the Texas Department of Criminal Justice web site. 419 00:30:30,959 --> 00:30:34,658 You can look up any inmate you want. 420 00:30:36,443 --> 00:30:37,768 Hello, how may I help you? 421 00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:40,403 My son, Paris Lee, was moved. 422 00:30:40,534 --> 00:30:43,102 How do I go about finding where he is? 423 00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,712 What is his number? 424 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:48,759 01804782. 425 00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:51,110 Paris Bennett. 426 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,810 The number is 936-348-3751. 427 00:30:56,593 --> 00:30:57,943 OK, thank you, ma'am. 428 00:30:58,073 --> 00:31:00,293 She hung up on me. 429 00:31:00,423 --> 00:31:03,078 Imagine that. 430 00:31:03,209 --> 00:31:06,647 It really irritates me when they ask me for his number. 431 00:31:06,777 --> 00:31:08,344 I always make sure to say his name. 432 00:31:08,475 --> 00:31:09,955 He has a name. 433 00:31:10,085 --> 00:31:11,323 The number or code 434 00:31:11,347 --> 00:31:13,480 you have dialed is incorrect. 435 00:31:13,610 --> 00:31:16,744 Please check the number or code and try again. 436 00:31:19,921 --> 00:31:21,967 Three days, I haven't known where he is. 437 00:31:22,097 --> 00:31:24,708 You want to know where your child is. 438 00:31:24,839 --> 00:31:26,580 The longer I don't get information, 439 00:31:26,710 --> 00:31:29,452 the more I begin to wonder if anything has happened to him. 440 00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:30,453 Has he been hurt? 441 00:31:32,847 --> 00:31:34,303 TDC, Clemens Unit. 442 00:31:34,327 --> 00:31:35,608 This is Cheyenne. How may I direct your call? 443 00:31:35,632 --> 00:31:37,373 I just called to find out where 444 00:31:37,504 --> 00:31:39,027 my son was transferred to. 445 00:31:39,158 --> 00:31:40,998 OK, what's the TDC number? 446 00:31:41,073 --> 00:31:45,077 01804782. 447 00:31:45,207 --> 00:31:47,079 Paris Lee Bennett. 448 00:31:47,209 --> 00:31:48,883 OK, he's actually at the Ferguson Unit. 449 00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:50,778 All right, thank you so much. 450 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,085 Ferguson. 451 00:31:53,215 --> 00:31:55,348 20 miles northeast of Huntsville. 452 00:31:55,478 --> 00:31:57,916 So yay, if that's where they leave him, he's closer. 453 00:32:06,185 --> 00:32:09,144 "If anyone has a loved one at the Ferguson Unit, 454 00:32:09,275 --> 00:32:11,712 please be advised that your loved one is in grave danger." 455 00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:34,735 "My son got checked by a bunch of guys, 456 00:32:34,865 --> 00:32:36,955 and his eye is now messed up. 457 00:32:37,085 --> 00:32:41,437 The guards don't allow him to see the docs or the nurses. 458 00:32:41,568 --> 00:32:44,092 He has to use toilet water to wash his face." 459 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:52,579 Shh. 460 00:32:52,709 --> 00:32:53,580 OK. 461 00:32:53,710 --> 00:32:54,710 Shh. 462 00:32:57,192 --> 00:32:58,192 Shh. 463 00:33:18,953 --> 00:33:21,564 Whenever an offender hits a new unit, 464 00:33:21,695 --> 00:33:24,915 he needs to be able to walk in with his head held high. 465 00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:27,005 So I came into this unit with my head held high 466 00:33:27,135 --> 00:33:29,094 and my back straight. 467 00:33:29,224 --> 00:33:31,183 And anybody I saw in the hallway, 468 00:33:31,313 --> 00:33:32,749 if they made eye contact with me, 469 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:33,900 I would make eye contact back. 470 00:33:33,924 --> 00:33:35,752 I would maintain it. 471 00:33:35,883 --> 00:33:37,600 But it's delicate, because if you maintain it for too long, 472 00:33:37,624 --> 00:33:38,799 it becomes threatening. 473 00:33:38,929 --> 00:33:41,715 And I just made sure to present myself 474 00:33:41,845 --> 00:33:44,413 as somebody who wasn't a pushover, 475 00:33:44,544 --> 00:33:46,937 because that's what everybody's looking for. 476 00:33:47,068 --> 00:33:48,722 On any unit. 477 00:33:48,852 --> 00:33:50,892 It doesn't matter if it's a good unit or a bad unit. 478 00:33:50,985 --> 00:33:53,105 Everybody's sizing you up the moment you hit the unit. 479 00:33:57,992 --> 00:34:01,126 I was arrested for my crime when I was 13 years old. 480 00:34:03,171 --> 00:34:05,291 I will be 33 years old before I'm eligible for parole. 481 00:34:10,439 --> 00:34:14,313 It's like being raised by Orwell's Big Brother 482 00:34:14,443 --> 00:34:19,492 and Kesey's Nurse Ratched, being raised by them 483 00:34:19,622 --> 00:34:21,233 while living under a rock. 484 00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:25,387 You're always being watched. 485 00:34:25,411 --> 00:34:27,456 You're always being scrutinized. 486 00:34:27,587 --> 00:34:29,632 And not only being scrutinized, but expected 487 00:34:29,763 --> 00:34:32,548 to perform in certain ways. 488 00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:36,465 And there's punishment. 489 00:34:38,989 --> 00:34:41,253 And then it's like living under a rock 490 00:34:41,383 --> 00:34:45,866 because you're not out there experiencing things. 491 00:34:48,651 --> 00:34:53,265 I didn't ever get a driver's license or a first car. 492 00:34:53,395 --> 00:34:57,704 I didn't go to prom or even make it to high school. 493 00:34:57,834 --> 00:35:01,534 I've never had a steady girlfriend. 494 00:35:01,664 --> 00:35:07,931 I've never been to parties. 495 00:35:08,062 --> 00:35:09,585 I've never been stupid and gotten 496 00:35:09,716 --> 00:35:10,756 drunk for that first time. 497 00:35:14,851 --> 00:35:16,090 Just a lot of I guess what you would 498 00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,898 call the snapshot moments. 499 00:35:18,028 --> 00:35:21,945 I missed a lot of snapshot moments. 500 00:35:22,076 --> 00:35:26,646 So you really just get passed by by life. 501 00:35:55,718 --> 00:35:58,765 I miss my family. 502 00:35:58,895 --> 00:36:01,681 I miss, I miss the... 503 00:36:01,811 --> 00:36:04,162 I miss the family that I had, that, that I tore apart. 504 00:36:07,556 --> 00:36:13,345 So not only am I... Am I missing it, um, there's 505 00:36:13,475 --> 00:36:17,523 guilt and remorse mixed in with that because not only... 506 00:36:17,653 --> 00:36:19,283 I didn't do something stupid and get locked away, 507 00:36:19,307 --> 00:36:20,830 and that's why I'm missing my family. 508 00:36:20,961 --> 00:36:23,050 I did something that tore my family apart 509 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,008 and took me away from them. 510 00:36:25,139 --> 00:36:27,924 And it's something that I can't fix, ever, 511 00:36:28,055 --> 00:36:30,057 and that's what I miss the most. 512 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:34,235 Because I wouldn't mind being incarcerated, 513 00:36:34,366 --> 00:36:37,499 knowing that my mom and Ella were coming to visit me. 514 00:36:47,944 --> 00:36:49,772 Do I have a dad? 515 00:36:49,903 --> 00:36:52,079 Do you have a dad? 516 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,907 Yes, child, you have a father. 517 00:36:54,037 --> 00:36:56,562 Everybody has a father. 518 00:36:56,692 --> 00:36:57,867 Do you have a dad? 519 00:36:57,998 --> 00:37:00,870 No, not everybody has a dad. 520 00:37:01,001 --> 00:37:02,698 I didn't have a dad. 521 00:37:02,829 --> 00:37:04,309 I turned out OK. 522 00:37:04,439 --> 00:37:07,312 Do you not have a sugar dad? 523 00:37:07,442 --> 00:37:09,464 Yeah, that's a whole different conversation. 524 00:37:09,488 --> 00:37:10,924 We'll finish that tomorrow. 525 00:37:11,054 --> 00:37:12,186 Can I borrow your bear? 526 00:37:12,317 --> 00:37:13,187 Yeah. 527 00:37:13,318 --> 00:37:14,580 Thank you. 528 00:37:14,710 --> 00:37:16,973 My bear is a pillow. 529 00:37:17,104 --> 00:37:18,279 For now. 530 00:37:18,410 --> 00:37:19,846 Here, hold my owl. 531 00:37:19,976 --> 00:37:20,997 I met Phoenix's father 532 00:37:21,021 --> 00:37:23,502 when Ella died. 533 00:37:23,632 --> 00:37:29,029 But he didn't try to be a parent. 534 00:37:29,159 --> 00:37:32,728 Gandalf, dwarves, and Mr. Baggins. 535 00:37:32,859 --> 00:37:37,603 And I wanted to be a single parent. 536 00:37:37,733 --> 00:37:42,042 And I don't like to negotiate or compromise, 537 00:37:42,172 --> 00:37:43,572 especially when it comes to my kids. 538 00:37:48,483 --> 00:37:52,748 I have been married twice, for less than a year total. 539 00:37:54,315 --> 00:37:58,624 Once to Ella's father, and once to a guy named Brendan. 540 00:38:00,060 --> 00:38:01,714 The only reason I think I married him was 541 00:38:01,844 --> 00:38:05,065 because he was an NCAA swimmer. 542 00:38:05,195 --> 00:38:09,983 He looked really nice not in clothes. 543 00:38:10,113 --> 00:38:11,985 Boy, you could put a drink on that man's butt. 544 00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:19,688 That is one thing my mom and I have in common, 545 00:38:19,819 --> 00:38:21,386 we do not pick decent men. 546 00:38:25,433 --> 00:38:29,959 Paris' father left not long after I got pregnant. 547 00:38:31,439 --> 00:38:35,356 And then when Paris was 17 months old, he showed up, 548 00:38:35,487 --> 00:38:40,013 and it was fairly obvious that something was not right. 549 00:38:40,143 --> 00:38:43,799 His father was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, 550 00:38:43,930 --> 00:38:46,672 with audio and visual hallucinations. 551 00:38:49,065 --> 00:38:51,329 That's me and Ella. 552 00:38:51,459 --> 00:38:52,852 Say... 553 00:38:54,723 --> 00:38:56,725 Ella's father 554 00:38:56,856 --> 00:38:59,337 had problems with alcohol. 555 00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:01,208 Look like your mother. 556 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:04,559 I got a phone call one day, telling 557 00:39:04,690 --> 00:39:07,997 me that he's in the hospital. 558 00:39:08,128 --> 00:39:11,000 A state trooper pulled him over and asked 559 00:39:11,131 --> 00:39:15,657 him to get out of the car, and he wouldn't do it. 560 00:39:15,788 --> 00:39:18,573 And so the officer reached into the car, 561 00:39:18,704 --> 00:39:22,360 and Ella's father popped the clutch 562 00:39:22,490 --> 00:39:26,364 and drug the state trooper 75 feet up an exit ramp. 563 00:39:28,148 --> 00:39:32,457 And so the officer shot him through the leg. 564 00:39:32,587 --> 00:39:36,199 When I heard that, I was done. 565 00:39:36,330 --> 00:39:39,377 I'm not dragging my children through this. 566 00:39:46,558 --> 00:39:48,690 All right, hold on one second. 567 00:40:07,535 --> 00:40:08,991 We're going to have to remember to... 568 00:40:11,583 --> 00:40:13,062 Paris Lee Bennett. 569 00:40:13,193 --> 00:40:15,127 An offender at Ferguson Unit. 570 00:40:15,151 --> 00:40:17,023 To accept charges, press 1. 571 00:40:17,153 --> 00:40:18,024 To refuse charges, press... 572 00:40:19,329 --> 00:40:21,244 Thank you for using CenturyLink. 573 00:40:21,375 --> 00:40:23,682 You may start the conversation now. 574 00:40:23,812 --> 00:40:25,335 Hey. 575 00:40:25,466 --> 00:40:26,574 Hey, how are you? 576 00:40:26,598 --> 00:40:29,514 I'm good. How are you? 577 00:40:29,644 --> 00:40:31,341 Pretty good. 578 00:40:31,472 --> 00:40:34,301 Looking forward to "Star Wars" tomorrow, so pretty good. 579 00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:36,521 Y'all get to do it? 580 00:40:36,651 --> 00:40:38,107 That's what I'm hearing. 581 00:40:38,131 --> 00:40:40,916 There's a notice posted on the board. 582 00:40:41,047 --> 00:40:42,047 You're excited? 583 00:40:42,135 --> 00:40:44,529 Yeah. 584 00:40:44,659 --> 00:40:47,096 Phoenix, did you like "Star Wars"? 585 00:40:47,227 --> 00:40:49,229 I want to watch it again. 586 00:40:49,359 --> 00:40:50,839 He says he wants to do it again. 587 00:40:50,970 --> 00:40:52,275 I guess that's a yes. 588 00:40:52,406 --> 00:40:53,842 Yes! 589 00:40:53,973 --> 00:40:55,191 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 590 00:40:58,325 --> 00:40:59,152 Hey, Phoenix. 591 00:40:59,282 --> 00:41:00,414 He's listening. 592 00:41:00,545 --> 00:41:01,609 How about this? 593 00:41:01,633 --> 00:41:03,983 Hey, I will watch it tomorrow. 594 00:41:04,113 --> 00:41:05,593 And tomorrow, you can watch it. 595 00:41:05,724 --> 00:41:09,118 And then we'll talk about it, OK? 596 00:41:09,249 --> 00:41:11,686 It's getting loud. What's going on? 597 00:41:11,817 --> 00:41:13,977 Everyone are watching Olympic tryouts 598 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:17,823 because it's women's swimming, so I think 599 00:41:17,953 --> 00:41:20,695 you can imagine the appeal. 600 00:41:20,826 --> 00:41:23,481 Yeah, not as much as I can imagine 601 00:41:23,611 --> 00:41:26,527 the appeal of men's swimming. 602 00:41:26,658 --> 00:41:27,659 So what else is up? 603 00:41:29,312 --> 00:41:32,533 I am writing a letter to Phoenix. 604 00:41:32,664 --> 00:41:35,275 It's a really long letter. 605 00:41:35,405 --> 00:41:37,320 Right now, it's like 14 pages typed. 606 00:41:37,451 --> 00:41:38,626 Mommy, I want them. 607 00:41:38,757 --> 00:41:40,715 I want them. 608 00:41:40,846 --> 00:41:43,326 Well, I hear him doing the mommy chant 609 00:41:43,457 --> 00:41:45,285 should I get off and let you... 610 00:41:45,415 --> 00:41:47,045 You have one minute left. 611 00:41:47,069 --> 00:41:48,177 Well, it's up again anyway. 612 00:41:48,201 --> 00:41:49,419 Yeah. 613 00:41:49,550 --> 00:41:50,614 It's all right. 614 00:41:50,638 --> 00:41:51,291 Yeah, we gotta go. We're in the driveway. 615 00:41:51,421 --> 00:41:52,422 I love you. 616 00:41:52,553 --> 00:41:53,793 Love you too. 617 00:41:53,859 --> 00:41:55,251 Phoenix, say bye to your brother. 618 00:41:55,382 --> 00:41:56,644 Bye! 619 00:41:56,775 --> 00:41:58,187 Good night, Phoenix. 620 00:41:58,211 --> 00:41:59,931 The caller has hung up. 621 00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:08,047 I try to keep everything as benign as possible. 622 00:42:10,310 --> 00:42:11,505 I don't want to do anything that's going 623 00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:12,834 to make Paris want to hurt him. 624 00:42:18,013 --> 00:42:21,277 I really believe that part of the motivation behind murdering 625 00:42:21,408 --> 00:42:23,671 Ella was to have his mother all to himself, 626 00:42:23,802 --> 00:42:26,195 and he had that again for eight straight years. 627 00:42:30,983 --> 00:42:32,680 Wah! 628 00:42:35,378 --> 00:42:38,817 So I don't sit and go, wow, this is so nice. 629 00:42:38,947 --> 00:42:40,558 They're getting along so well. 630 00:42:40,688 --> 00:42:43,212 I sit, and I listen to what Paris says, 631 00:42:43,343 --> 00:42:46,215 and I listen to his tone. 632 00:42:46,346 --> 00:42:47,869 There's no warm fuzzies. 633 00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:57,357 When I found out about his heart condition, 634 00:42:57,487 --> 00:42:59,838 I almost felt like it was my fault, in a way. 635 00:43:06,932 --> 00:43:13,634 And I regret that he's going to grow up with me in here, 636 00:43:13,765 --> 00:43:16,115 and knowing me like this. 637 00:43:16,245 --> 00:43:22,556 And I hate that my actions taint the relationship. 638 00:43:28,562 --> 00:43:35,177 But at the same time, I'm so happy to have him. 639 00:43:41,009 --> 00:43:43,011 And I think that he'll get to know me 640 00:43:43,142 --> 00:43:44,796 much better through my letters. 641 00:43:55,850 --> 00:43:57,370 I know that he's not ready yet for some 642 00:43:57,460 --> 00:44:01,029 of the content of the letters, because a lot of times, 643 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,728 I'm writing about prison. 644 00:44:03,858 --> 00:44:08,297 So I asked my mother to just put those letters in a box for him 645 00:44:08,428 --> 00:44:10,125 and gave them to him when he is 12 or 13. 646 00:44:41,983 --> 00:44:43,811 I'm letting the person who killed 647 00:44:43,942 --> 00:44:46,292 my child talk to my child. 648 00:44:46,422 --> 00:44:48,207 And the only reason I'm letting it happen 649 00:44:48,337 --> 00:44:52,646 is because I have forgiven him, and they are related. 650 00:44:52,777 --> 00:44:54,577 But I'm never going to be comfortable with it. 651 00:44:54,648 --> 00:44:56,694 I will never be comfortable with Paris and Phoenix. 652 00:45:15,321 --> 00:45:18,498 Paris tried to stab Charity at the house 653 00:45:18,628 --> 00:45:23,721 one day, so we took him to a psychiatric place up 654 00:45:23,851 --> 00:45:25,200 in Wichita Falls. 655 00:45:27,681 --> 00:45:31,511 Charity wouldn't let me go with her to pick him up. 656 00:45:31,641 --> 00:45:36,211 And I never even found this out until after Ella was murdered, 657 00:45:36,342 --> 00:45:38,910 and we were talking with the police. 658 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:43,436 But the psychiatrist up there had evaluated Paris, 659 00:45:43,566 --> 00:45:47,309 and they had told Charity that he had homicidal tendencies. 660 00:45:48,658 --> 00:45:51,531 And she didn't leave him in treatment there. 661 00:45:51,661 --> 00:45:53,185 She chose to take him back. 662 00:45:57,972 --> 00:46:02,629 I believe it was November of 2006. 663 00:46:03,804 --> 00:46:08,243 And then Ella died February of 2007. 664 00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:10,550 I feel like even if Paris had stayed at that place, 665 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,160 it wouldn't have helped him. 666 00:46:17,731 --> 00:46:18,863 I don't know. 667 00:46:18,993 --> 00:46:20,734 I can't, I can't spend a whole lot of time 668 00:46:20,865 --> 00:46:22,145 anymore double guessing the past. 669 00:46:27,872 --> 00:46:30,570 And I don't have any regrets except for the fact 670 00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:32,224 that I had relapsed. 671 00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:48,631 When Paris was 12, and Ella was 3 and 1/2, 672 00:46:48,762 --> 00:46:50,982 I relapsed on cocaine. 673 00:46:51,112 --> 00:46:54,028 You want nectarines or plums? 674 00:46:54,159 --> 00:46:55,943 Puh-lums. 675 00:46:56,074 --> 00:46:57,162 Say that again. 676 00:46:57,292 --> 00:46:58,946 I said blums. 677 00:46:59,077 --> 00:47:00,165 P, P for plum. 678 00:47:08,129 --> 00:47:09,849 For about three months, 679 00:47:09,914 --> 00:47:12,830 Paris took up the slack. 680 00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:14,633 I mean, he knew that something was going on, 681 00:47:14,657 --> 00:47:16,777 and he really started to look after his little sister. 682 00:47:26,234 --> 00:47:29,411 I felt betrayed. 683 00:47:29,542 --> 00:47:32,458 I felt neglected. 684 00:47:32,588 --> 00:47:37,115 And really, just a child's selfish thought of, 685 00:47:37,245 --> 00:47:38,464 am I not important enough? 686 00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:47,081 But I don't think that it was theone 687 00:47:47,212 --> 00:47:50,215 reason why I murdered Ella. 688 00:48:09,408 --> 00:48:11,062 My relationship with my grandmother 689 00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:15,631 is not tinged by as much emotion as the one with my mother. 690 00:48:15,762 --> 00:48:20,114 My grandmother's always been a very cold and collected woman. 691 00:48:24,553 --> 00:48:25,641 And I'm the same way. 692 00:49:04,985 --> 00:49:09,337 When I was 29, my husband, Charity's father, was murdered. 693 00:49:13,124 --> 00:49:16,518 Charity was five. 694 00:49:16,649 --> 00:49:19,782 I took her out to my parents house as soon as it happened, 695 00:49:19,913 --> 00:49:24,048 and I told her that her dad had been shot. 696 00:49:24,178 --> 00:49:26,698 The only thing she said was, well, I'm glad it wasn't you, Mama. 697 00:49:56,689 --> 00:49:58,560 Get these people out of here. 698 00:50:06,046 --> 00:50:10,529 About a month after the funeral, the police talked to me. 699 00:50:10,659 --> 00:50:15,273 And um, I was arrested and charged with murder. 700 00:50:18,363 --> 00:50:22,932 My husband was involved with illegality. 701 00:50:23,063 --> 00:50:26,240 His father was part of the Georgia mafia. 702 00:50:26,371 --> 00:50:29,113 And um, through another attorney, they 703 00:50:29,243 --> 00:50:31,985 convinced the DA to take a warrant out 704 00:50:32,116 --> 00:50:34,770 for me for conspiracy to commit murder. 705 00:50:52,397 --> 00:50:56,618 They came up with a black boy that said that I had paid him, 706 00:50:56,749 --> 00:50:58,309 or that he knew that I had paid somebody 707 00:50:58,403 --> 00:51:02,363 that paid him, to murder Bobby. 708 00:51:16,203 --> 00:51:18,727 I spent six weeks in jail, and then I 709 00:51:18,858 --> 00:51:20,077 was on trial for six weeks. 710 00:51:24,168 --> 00:51:25,768 Charity stayed with my mother and father. 711 00:51:38,747 --> 00:51:41,924 Lots of things came out in that trial that just pretty 712 00:51:42,055 --> 00:51:43,100 much threw me for a loop. 713 00:51:49,628 --> 00:51:51,325 But I was acquitted. 714 00:51:59,203 --> 00:52:03,032 I had to work to get my company back on its feet. 715 00:52:03,163 --> 00:52:06,166 I had to fight to keep my contracts with the government. 716 00:52:06,297 --> 00:52:08,168 And I had a child to raise. 717 00:52:08,299 --> 00:52:10,736 And I didn't have time to sit around 718 00:52:10,866 --> 00:52:13,782 and brood over spilt milk. 719 00:52:17,264 --> 00:52:20,137 Charity didn't really know her dad that well. 720 00:52:20,267 --> 00:52:22,965 He was always off, skiing with this girlfriend 721 00:52:23,096 --> 00:52:26,404 or down in Florida with that girlfriend. 722 00:52:26,534 --> 00:52:29,320 It wasn't like he was a daily dad. 723 00:52:29,450 --> 00:52:32,540 She might see him once every three or four weeks. 724 00:52:32,671 --> 00:52:33,671 Never took her to school. 725 00:52:33,759 --> 00:52:35,108 Never gave her a bath. 726 00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:37,719 Never dressed her. 727 00:52:37,850 --> 00:52:41,114 I don't even know that he sat down and had a meal with her. 728 00:52:41,245 --> 00:52:43,856 So I don't think it really affected her. 729 00:52:43,986 --> 00:52:47,381 What affected her was kids would come up and say, 730 00:52:47,512 --> 00:52:49,992 I hear your mommy killed your daddy. 731 00:52:50,123 --> 00:52:53,300 Or you'd be in a grocery store, checking out, 732 00:52:53,431 --> 00:52:57,478 and somebody would say, you're that woman, 733 00:52:57,609 --> 00:52:59,132 did you kill him? 734 00:53:03,702 --> 00:53:06,226 So at her age, I'm sure that was very tough. 735 00:53:10,622 --> 00:53:15,279 My father was involved in auto theft. 736 00:53:15,409 --> 00:53:19,065 And then I believe he had started into drug trafficking. 737 00:53:20,980 --> 00:53:24,375 So what I heard growing up was it was these guys that did it. 738 00:53:24,505 --> 00:53:25,680 It wasn't me. 739 00:53:25,811 --> 00:53:26,855 I was framed. 740 00:53:28,770 --> 00:53:29,771 I believed her. 741 00:53:33,645 --> 00:53:39,651 It wasn't until after Ella died that I really 742 00:53:39,781 --> 00:53:43,089 began to take a second look. 743 00:53:45,657 --> 00:53:49,704 So I went to Georgia and talked to the DA that prosecuted her, 744 00:53:49,835 --> 00:53:52,881 the detectives. 745 00:53:53,012 --> 00:53:55,493 And I ran across the report by the officer 746 00:53:55,623 --> 00:53:58,017 who transported my mother to the station that morning. 747 00:54:02,413 --> 00:54:04,153 And he said, I saw her in the mirror, 748 00:54:04,284 --> 00:54:06,591 and it seemed at times that she was 749 00:54:06,721 --> 00:54:07,896 really pleased with herself. 750 00:54:14,468 --> 00:54:17,993 They even had a napkin where my mother had 751 00:54:18,124 --> 00:54:21,823 drawn a map of the house and marked on there that this door 752 00:54:21,954 --> 00:54:22,998 would be unlocked. 753 00:54:25,523 --> 00:54:30,005 I think he had started doing drugs and getting sloppy. 754 00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:38,275 And I think she felt like her financial security was 755 00:54:38,405 --> 00:54:40,625 threatened, so she eliminated a problem. 756 00:54:47,371 --> 00:54:51,070 And so of course, there's the thought, OK, 757 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:54,116 so your mom might have killed your dad, 758 00:54:54,247 --> 00:54:58,077 and your son definitely killed your daughter. 759 00:54:58,207 --> 00:54:59,887 You know, where does all of this come from? 760 00:55:19,707 --> 00:55:21,709 Up until Charity was 12 years old, 761 00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:25,104 she was the most wonderful, loving child 762 00:55:25,234 --> 00:55:27,802 that anyone could wish for. 763 00:55:27,933 --> 00:55:29,717 We were inseparable. 764 00:55:29,848 --> 00:55:34,418 And then from 12 on, it's been, it's like an alcoholic. 765 00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:38,465 It's up and down, up and down, up and down. 766 00:55:38,596 --> 00:55:40,196 If she'd get mad at me because I wouldn't 767 00:55:40,249 --> 00:55:42,077 allow her to do something, it was, 768 00:55:42,208 --> 00:55:45,037 well, you murdered my daddy. 769 00:55:45,167 --> 00:55:48,867 So she was a good manipulator. 770 00:55:48,997 --> 00:55:50,521 But we all are. 771 00:55:50,651 --> 00:55:51,870 Paris is. 772 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,524 Ella was. 773 00:55:53,654 --> 00:55:57,136 I would be lying to you if I said that I wasn't. 774 00:55:57,266 --> 00:55:58,920 We all manipulate each other. 775 00:55:59,051 --> 00:56:00,226 We're all spoiled rotten. 776 00:56:02,794 --> 00:56:03,945 My other daughter Khyman, I don't 777 00:56:03,969 --> 00:56:05,362 think she's quite as good. 778 00:56:05,492 --> 00:56:07,035 She didn't have as good a teacher because I 779 00:56:07,059 --> 00:56:09,496 don't do it so much anymore. 780 00:56:09,627 --> 00:56:11,455 I don't have a company to manipulate. 781 00:56:11,585 --> 00:56:14,327 I don't have drivers to manipulate. 782 00:56:14,458 --> 00:56:16,634 And I don't have a jury to manipulate. 783 00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:17,764 So. 784 00:56:35,566 --> 00:56:38,220 My mother was sending Paris really 785 00:56:38,351 --> 00:56:41,267 inappropriate material for a boy in prison 786 00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:42,747 for murdering his sister. 787 00:56:47,621 --> 00:56:49,449 He wanted a science fiction book, 788 00:56:49,580 --> 00:56:52,539 and so I had it sent to him. 789 00:56:52,670 --> 00:56:55,455 And they denied it because inside the book, 790 00:56:55,586 --> 00:56:59,067 there is a picture of a woman, and her breasts are exposed. 791 00:56:59,198 --> 00:57:00,939 But it's just a drawing. 792 00:57:01,069 --> 00:57:05,422 So he says, take the book apart, send me a chapter at a time, 793 00:57:05,552 --> 00:57:07,672 and when you get to the picture with the bare breasts, 794 00:57:07,728 --> 00:57:11,558 he said, tell Khyman just to draw a bra on it. 795 00:57:11,689 --> 00:57:16,215 Let's see... raping women, murdering them, 796 00:57:17,869 --> 00:57:19,261 bludgeoning people to death. 797 00:57:27,705 --> 00:57:31,317 So I went to the authorities, and I'm like, 798 00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:35,713 listen, my mother can talk to Paris, they can write letters, 799 00:57:35,843 --> 00:57:38,672 she can come visit, but no more books. 800 00:57:38,803 --> 00:57:41,458 That's it. No more books. 801 00:57:41,588 --> 00:57:42,668 And that's when I got sued. 802 00:57:54,296 --> 00:57:59,127 She and Paris sued me in 2009. 803 00:57:59,258 --> 00:58:01,652 Paris wanted my parental rights terminated. 804 00:58:04,655 --> 00:58:08,354 And then my mother wanted those same rights for herself. 805 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:12,271 She wanted to be Paris' guardian. 806 00:58:12,401 --> 00:58:16,014 Paris said that I was not good for him. 807 00:58:16,144 --> 00:58:18,973 He blamed everything on me. 808 00:58:31,595 --> 00:58:33,118 I'd had it. 809 00:58:33,248 --> 00:58:35,337 I pretty much said, you can kiss my fucking ass. 810 00:58:35,468 --> 00:58:36,817 Excuse my language. 811 00:58:48,394 --> 00:58:49,917 What I tell Paris is it's not up to you 812 00:58:50,048 --> 00:58:51,528 to tell me when I stop being your mom. 813 00:58:54,574 --> 00:58:56,271 And if you try to tell me, then you 814 00:58:56,402 --> 00:58:58,423 don't get to decide if I ever get to be your mom again. 815 00:58:58,447 --> 00:59:01,015 I'm done. 816 00:59:01,146 --> 00:59:05,933 She told Paris, if you don't do what I want, 817 00:59:06,064 --> 00:59:08,893 then I will never speak to you again. 818 00:59:09,023 --> 00:59:13,593 And Paris wasn't going to risk not having his mother. 819 00:59:13,724 --> 00:59:15,073 So he dropped his lawsuit. 820 00:59:59,770 --> 01:00:01,249 Abilene 911. 821 01:00:01,380 --> 01:00:02,599 Hello? 822 01:00:02,729 --> 01:00:04,409 Abilene 911. Go ahead. 823 01:00:04,470 --> 01:00:05,906 I... 824 01:00:06,037 --> 01:00:07,884 I accidentally... I accidentally killed somebody. 825 01:00:07,908 --> 01:00:09,494 You think you killed somebody? 826 01:00:09,518 --> 01:00:10,878 No, I know I did. 827 01:00:10,998 --> 01:00:14,132 I woke up, and I was hallucinating. 828 01:00:14,262 --> 01:00:16,003 You were hallucinating? 829 01:00:16,134 --> 01:00:18,373 Yes, and I thought my sister was a demon, 830 01:00:18,397 --> 01:00:19,920 and I killed her. 831 01:00:20,051 --> 01:00:22,357 - I - want you to start CPR, OK? 832 01:00:22,488 --> 01:00:24,379 What I want you to do is take her off the bed and put her... 833 01:00:24,403 --> 01:00:27,362 No, I know for a fact that she's dead. 834 01:00:27,493 --> 01:00:29,123 Do you want to go ahead and try? 835 01:00:29,147 --> 01:00:31,366 It might still help, OK? 836 01:00:31,497 --> 01:00:33,388 No, I don't think it'll help because... 837 01:00:33,412 --> 01:00:35,372 Come on, Paris, work with me. 838 01:00:35,457 --> 01:00:37,435 I know I stabbed her lots of times. 839 01:00:37,459 --> 01:00:38,699 OK, Paris? 840 01:00:38,765 --> 01:00:40,419 Yes? 841 01:00:40,549 --> 01:00:41,202 Take her off the bed and put her 842 01:00:41,333 --> 01:00:42,377 on the floor. 843 01:00:42,508 --> 01:00:43,770 OK, hold on. 844 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:47,687 Please don't hang up. 845 01:00:47,818 --> 01:00:49,820 I'm not hanging up on you. 846 01:00:49,950 --> 01:00:51,449 I just thought she was a demon. 847 01:00:51,473 --> 01:00:52,866 OK. 848 01:00:52,997 --> 01:00:54,651 OK, she's on the floor, 849 01:00:54,781 --> 01:00:56,324 but I can't save her because she's all bloody and stuff. 850 01:00:56,348 --> 01:00:57,741 No. 851 01:00:57,871 --> 01:00:59,511 Paris, what I want you to do is I want you 852 01:00:59,612 --> 01:01:01,222 to put your hands on her chest. 853 01:01:02,310 --> 01:01:03,310 OK? 854 01:01:03,355 --> 01:01:04,225 And I want you to push 30 times. 855 01:01:04,356 --> 01:01:05,226 I want you to count. 856 01:01:05,357 --> 01:01:06,619 OK. 857 01:01:06,750 --> 01:01:08,162 All the way to 30, 858 01:01:08,186 --> 01:01:10,797 and then blow two breaths in her mouth, OK? 859 01:01:10,928 --> 01:01:13,539 OK. 860 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:14,801 1. 861 01:01:14,932 --> 01:01:16,368 2. 862 01:01:16,498 --> 01:01:18,022 3. 863 01:01:18,152 --> 01:01:19,893 4. 864 01:01:20,024 --> 01:01:21,416 5. 865 01:01:21,547 --> 01:01:22,853 6. 866 01:01:22,983 --> 01:01:24,768 7. 867 01:01:24,898 --> 01:01:26,770 8. 868 01:01:26,900 --> 01:01:28,249 9. 869 01:01:28,380 --> 01:01:29,598 10. 870 01:01:29,729 --> 01:01:30,904 11. 871 01:01:31,035 --> 01:01:32,035 12. 872 01:01:34,125 --> 01:01:35,205 Paris? 873 01:01:40,827 --> 01:01:42,002 He put it down. 874 01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:50,532 You know, I believed all that. 875 01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:57,714 That he was hallucinating in bed. 876 01:01:57,844 --> 01:01:59,430 I mean, he had a story worked out pretty damn quick, 877 01:01:59,454 --> 01:02:00,454 didn't he? 878 01:02:03,197 --> 01:02:04,895 Quite the actor. 879 01:02:05,025 --> 01:02:08,246 That's not what Paris sounds like when he really cries. 880 01:02:08,376 --> 01:02:10,552 I mean, it's all a lie from start to finish... 881 01:02:10,683 --> 01:02:14,295 What happened, doing CPR, none of it is the truth. 882 01:02:16,471 --> 01:02:17,516 None of it. 883 01:02:18,604 --> 01:02:20,388 She was face down on the floor. 884 01:02:20,519 --> 01:02:22,079 There was no way he could have done CPR. 885 01:02:26,481 --> 01:02:27,801 It's very difficult to love Paris. 886 01:02:54,379 --> 01:02:57,164 It has been in my mind for a while 887 01:02:57,295 --> 01:03:03,910 that I have been able to forgive Paris for the worst thing 888 01:03:04,041 --> 01:03:07,479 imaginable. 889 01:03:07,609 --> 01:03:12,397 And in order to have my own sense of peace, 890 01:03:12,527 --> 01:03:16,923 to have integrity, I need to process through it with my mom. 891 01:03:18,229 --> 01:03:19,589 I would be a hypocrite if I didn't. 892 01:03:43,428 --> 01:03:47,998 When Paris murdered Ella, I lost Charity too. 893 01:03:48,128 --> 01:03:49,129 I lost them all. 894 01:03:52,089 --> 01:03:56,006 I knew Charity was pregnant again because of Facebook. 895 01:03:56,136 --> 01:03:57,766 And I knew she had a child, and I've seen the pictures 896 01:03:57,790 --> 01:03:58,835 because of Facebook. 897 01:04:01,054 --> 01:04:05,580 But I try to think about all the good things that have changed 898 01:04:06,277 --> 01:04:09,802 in my life because of Ella's death, 899 01:04:09,933 --> 01:04:11,935 and that way, I can live with Ella's death. 900 01:04:17,114 --> 01:04:24,773 I mean, Ella made me a more caring person. 901 01:04:24,904 --> 01:04:28,560 She made me realize that I can't always have everything my way. 902 01:04:30,475 --> 01:04:35,001 So if Charity has chosen to blame me or be angry at me, 903 01:04:35,436 --> 01:04:36,436 that's fine. 904 01:04:36,524 --> 01:04:38,787 Whatever she wants to do. 905 01:04:38,918 --> 01:04:43,009 If she ever needs me, I'll be there. 906 01:04:43,140 --> 01:04:44,700 All she has to do is call me and ask me. 907 01:05:16,608 --> 01:05:19,088 Your grandmother says to save her at least one cookie. 908 01:05:21,613 --> 01:05:22,613 OK. 909 01:05:27,358 --> 01:05:31,928 I decided to give my mom the opportunity 910 01:05:34,017 --> 01:05:35,279 to come back into our lives. 911 01:05:39,500 --> 01:05:43,243 We're not the same people we were when this first happened. 912 01:05:43,374 --> 01:05:46,507 And I'm trying to focus on how we're similar as opposed 913 01:05:46,638 --> 01:05:48,118 to how different we are. 914 01:05:51,512 --> 01:05:52,512 There she is. 915 01:05:52,557 --> 01:05:53,557 Yay! 916 01:05:53,645 --> 01:05:54,951 Did you save me a cookie? 917 01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:58,867 Yes. 918 01:05:58,998 --> 01:06:00,826 How you feel? 919 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:01,827 Good. 920 01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:02,958 Yeah? 921 01:06:03,046 --> 01:06:03,916 Give Grandma the cookie. 922 01:06:04,047 --> 01:06:04,917 Let's give her a cookie. 923 01:06:05,048 --> 01:06:06,223 Yeah. 924 01:06:06,353 --> 01:06:07,093 Should I share it with you? 925 01:06:07,224 --> 01:06:08,094 Yeah. 926 01:06:12,794 --> 01:06:13,794 Phoenix. 927 01:06:17,190 --> 01:06:21,194 Last night, I was telling him, you're part me, 928 01:06:21,325 --> 01:06:24,241 and you're part your dad, and you're part your grandma 929 01:06:24,371 --> 01:06:26,983 too, because I'm part of your grandma. 930 01:06:27,113 --> 01:06:31,509 Without missing a beat, he tells me the back of his feet 931 01:06:31,639 --> 01:06:34,642 are the part of him that he got from his grandma. 932 01:06:34,773 --> 01:06:36,949 His Achilles heal, maybe? 933 01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:39,996 So you're saying he got his weakness from you? 934 01:06:40,126 --> 01:06:43,521 I guess, but nobody will ever know what it is. 935 01:06:43,651 --> 01:06:45,827 Hey, Achilles got killed. 936 01:06:45,958 --> 01:06:46,958 Unfortunately. 937 01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:49,831 By Paris. 938 01:06:51,964 --> 01:06:54,532 OK, on your mark, get set, go. 939 01:07:00,886 --> 01:07:03,206 You can barely run and beat him. He's pulling his pants up. 940 01:07:12,419 --> 01:07:17,076 Paris knows somewhere inside of him that he is dark. 941 01:07:17,207 --> 01:07:22,038 He knows it's not acceptable, but for him, It's not wrong. 942 01:07:22,168 --> 01:07:24,562 OK, it's like when I was shooting heroin. 943 01:07:24,692 --> 01:07:27,086 I hated myself for what I was doing, but I kept doing it, 944 01:07:27,217 --> 01:07:29,132 right? 945 01:07:29,262 --> 01:07:34,441 Because my need for the drug, for that feeling, was like, OK, 946 01:07:34,572 --> 01:07:37,662 I'm just going to bear all of this nastiness 947 01:07:37,792 --> 01:07:40,012 to get that drug, right? 948 01:07:40,143 --> 01:07:44,321 The only time that Paris felt fully himself 949 01:07:45,278 --> 01:07:47,324 was when he was killing Ella. 950 01:07:47,454 --> 01:07:51,241 At that moment, like when I got high for the very first time, 951 01:07:51,371 --> 01:07:53,069 he felt fucking awesome. 952 01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:10,825 I chose to do my crime, and I 953 01:08:10,956 --> 01:08:12,523 accept full responsibility for my crime. 954 01:08:17,789 --> 01:08:22,750 And I wouldn't say that there was a predisposition, what 955 01:08:22,881 --> 01:08:26,928 had happened, I'm not insane, and I don't 956 01:08:27,059 --> 01:08:28,299 suffer from any mental illness. 957 01:08:31,063 --> 01:08:33,848 I'm sure all crazy people say the same thing. 958 01:08:33,979 --> 01:08:41,979 But one thing I accept is that I'm sane, 959 01:08:42,509 --> 01:08:47,123 and that kind of underlies everything. 960 01:08:49,603 --> 01:08:50,474 Now did I have issues? 961 01:08:50,604 --> 01:08:52,389 Yes, I did. 962 01:08:52,519 --> 01:08:54,800 If I didn't have issues, I wouldn't have killed my sister. 963 01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:58,569 Was I well adjusted? 964 01:08:58,699 --> 01:09:00,266 No. 965 01:09:00,397 --> 01:09:03,617 I was a coward. I was passive aggressive. 966 01:09:03,748 --> 01:09:07,969 I lashed out at people who were trying to support me. 967 01:09:08,100 --> 01:09:11,364 And I've always been very disconnected from my emotions. 968 01:09:11,495 --> 01:09:15,281 I've always sat inside my head instead of my heart. 969 01:09:17,675 --> 01:09:21,374 I lied very much about what I had done to absolve myself 970 01:09:21,505 --> 01:09:24,595 from the responsibility for it. 971 01:09:24,725 --> 01:09:32,725 And the lies were shed like articles of clothing. 972 01:09:34,082 --> 01:09:38,086 I didn't just simply stop lying all of a sudden. 973 01:09:39,131 --> 01:09:40,326 I would stop telling one lie, then 974 01:09:40,350 --> 01:09:42,265 I would stop telling another. 975 01:09:42,395 --> 01:09:44,702 And after a while, I had stripped myself bare. 976 01:10:13,426 --> 01:10:15,472 In our family, 977 01:10:15,602 --> 01:10:18,692 this is a trait that all of us share. 978 01:10:18,823 --> 01:10:20,607 Once a decision is made, action will follow. 979 01:10:25,743 --> 01:10:30,182 So I'm moving to Georgia to my mom. 980 01:10:31,575 --> 01:10:33,664 In spite of everything that happened, 981 01:10:33,794 --> 01:10:38,321 I know that what happened to Ella hurt my mom too. 982 01:10:41,976 --> 01:10:46,807 And I'm tired of the history repeating itself. 983 01:10:46,938 --> 01:10:51,029 It's time to try to stop the pattern. 984 01:10:58,036 --> 01:11:02,475 This is a box of Pooh Bear. 985 01:11:03,694 --> 01:11:05,913 He's seen better days. 986 01:11:06,044 --> 01:11:08,220 Paris used to pick him and eat him. 987 01:11:08,351 --> 01:11:11,832 The doctor told me that I had to make Paris stop. 988 01:11:11,963 --> 01:11:14,748 I told him that wasn't going to happen. 989 01:11:14,879 --> 01:11:16,924 And if he wanted him to stop eating Pooh Bear, 990 01:11:17,055 --> 01:11:19,076 he was more than welcome to come try to put him to bed 991 01:11:19,100 --> 01:11:21,712 every night without Pooh Bear. 992 01:11:21,842 --> 01:11:23,366 But Paris always did that. 993 01:11:23,496 --> 01:11:26,107 He'd get like a nervous habit, like when he was little, 994 01:11:26,238 --> 01:11:33,245 and he'd pick things off of you, like little sweater pills. 995 01:11:33,376 --> 01:11:35,296 The board he made me so I would never get lonely. 996 01:11:42,646 --> 01:11:46,302 What's this box? Ella's clothes. 997 01:11:49,435 --> 01:11:51,219 I wish they did still smell like her. 998 01:12:12,937 --> 01:12:16,332 When we first moved to Texas, I built us a big house. 999 01:12:19,770 --> 01:12:25,428 Ella and Paris both had their own rooms, big rooms. 1000 01:12:25,558 --> 01:12:29,388 And Ella's room, I painted pink, and her bathroom purple. 1001 01:12:35,002 --> 01:12:38,354 And when she saw it, she's like, it should all have been purple. 1002 01:12:42,793 --> 01:12:45,099 So I just decided when I did this house that it 1003 01:12:45,230 --> 01:12:46,666 was all going to be purple. 1004 01:12:51,845 --> 01:12:59,549 'Cause I had told her that we would change the room, 1005 01:12:59,679 --> 01:13:04,380 and she died before we painted it purple. 1006 01:13:08,296 --> 01:13:09,536 So I painted everything purple. 1007 01:13:17,871 --> 01:13:19,525 All right, Miss Ella. 1008 01:14:16,930 --> 01:14:20,107 I think Paris had the deck stacked against him. 1009 01:14:20,238 --> 01:14:24,938 Charity had lots of problems when she was younger. 1010 01:14:25,069 --> 01:14:27,332 And then there was mental illness in the family. 1011 01:14:31,162 --> 01:14:33,120 I'm sure that if somebody examined 1012 01:14:33,251 --> 01:14:36,820 my innermost thoughts, to a lot of people, 1013 01:14:36,950 --> 01:14:39,562 I would not be normal. 1014 01:14:39,692 --> 01:14:41,212 I've certainly not lived a normal life. 1015 01:14:45,872 --> 01:14:48,005 Come right here, Mommy. 1016 01:14:48,135 --> 01:14:49,006 I'm coming. 1017 01:14:49,136 --> 01:14:50,268 Hey, why you bring that? 1018 01:14:50,398 --> 01:14:51,398 It's Ella. 1019 01:14:51,443 --> 01:14:52,618 That's your sister. 1020 01:14:55,882 --> 01:14:59,756 I don't think he's a sociopath. 1021 01:14:59,886 --> 01:15:01,166 I don't think he'd ever hurt me. 1022 01:15:01,235 --> 01:15:04,108 I don't think he'd ever hurt Khyman. 1023 01:15:04,238 --> 01:15:06,676 Should Charity be afraid of him? 1024 01:15:06,806 --> 01:15:07,806 Maybe. 1025 01:15:11,724 --> 01:15:14,510 I tell people in my presentation, 1026 01:15:14,640 --> 01:15:18,339 if you don't believe that my son was a sociopath, 1027 01:15:18,470 --> 01:15:20,777 the experience of having grown up in prison 1028 01:15:20,907 --> 01:15:24,215 is going to force him to become sociopathic 1029 01:15:24,345 --> 01:15:25,216 just so he can survive. 1030 01:15:25,346 --> 01:15:27,000 - I know. I like you too. 1031 01:15:30,438 --> 01:15:32,634 If Paris hurts anybody else when he gets 1032 01:15:32,658 --> 01:15:37,358 out, he can blame me, but it's on Texas, because Texas 1033 01:15:37,707 --> 01:15:39,709 has had him since he's 13, and they've 1034 01:15:39,839 --> 01:15:43,147 done so little to help him. 1035 01:15:43,277 --> 01:15:45,366 And it's so obvious that he needs help. 1036 01:15:57,074 --> 01:15:59,555 I'm the sort of person who has done the sort of things 1037 01:15:59,685 --> 01:16:02,645 that people tend to judge pretty quickly. 1038 01:16:02,775 --> 01:16:06,649 And I'm aware that I can't change people's minds about me. 1039 01:16:06,779 --> 01:16:10,217 But just because I'm incarcerated doesn't mean 1040 01:16:10,348 --> 01:16:14,004 that I'm worthless, doesn't mean that I 1041 01:16:15,919 --> 01:16:19,270 don't deserve a second chance. 1042 01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:20,837 The things that I did when I was 13 1043 01:16:20,967 --> 01:16:24,710 aren't indicative of the man who I am now. 1044 01:16:24,841 --> 01:16:27,583 Just because I committed a murder when I was 13 1045 01:16:27,713 --> 01:16:29,585 doesn't mean I'm going to get out of here 1046 01:16:29,715 --> 01:16:32,326 and commit more murders. 1047 01:16:32,457 --> 01:16:36,548 In fact, I'm going to get out of here and prove you all wrong.