1 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,547 * The Simpsons * 2 00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:09,676 D'oh! 3 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,498 Oh, you hate to see this. 4 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,042 I love to see this! 5 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,877 Now the other players are joining in. 6 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,503 Uh-oh, someone could lose a tooth! 7 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,674 This is no time to pat the bunny, Maggie. 8 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,260 Daddy's watching a very important Mid-Atlantic 9 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:54,721 Hockey League Conference Semifinal do-over game. 10 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,557 As we enter the seventh amazing overtime, 11 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,852 the members of Sesame Street On Ice wait impatiently 12 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:03,063 to begin their matinee performance. 13 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,732 Hold the Black Label, Mabel! The Utica Mohawks' 14 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,693 Pete Mavroudis has broken through the 'topes' defense! 15 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,028 Stop him, Babando! 16 00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:11,279 He winds up for the shot, 17 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:12,947 and Delacroix slides in front! 18 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,658 You're supposed to be spending time with your daughter. 19 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,494 I will when it's not sports season. 20 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,871 Now I just want to know how the game ends. 21 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:22,373 And this game is over! 22 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,708 Unbelievable! 23 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,877 You'll never see anything like that again! 24 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,338 So that will do it from Wayne Bockhorn, 25 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,965 Jean-Pierre Pétomane, and me, Doc Jacques Lalonde, 26 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,427 here at Utica's Kill-Kwik Rat Poison Arena. 27 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,720 What-what's the score?! 28 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,139 Now stay tuned for Picking the Perfect Apple, 29 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,766 it's already in progress. 30 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,684 D'oh! The score, damn you! 31 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,437 - Once again, today's final score… -Yeah? 32 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,106 is already in the books. Good night! 33 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,317 I will never… know… the score! 34 00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:52,403 You want to know the score? 35 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:53,905 I'll tell you the score. 36 00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:55,573 Oh, Marge. 37 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,075 This is a definite high point for our marriage. 38 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,119 - Here's the score, mister… - Yes? 39 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,788 Your daughter barely knows who you are! 40 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,373 That's ridiculous. 41 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,083 Who's your daddy, Maggie? 42 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,085 Who's your daddy? 43 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,176 - He is pretty good with her. -Oh! 44 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,356 Look, Marge, it's just what you want… 45 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,400 me spending the day with Muggsy. 46 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,469 Maggie! 47 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,319 Marge, you're not naggy. 48 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,572 You just set the bar impossibly high. 49 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,740 Can you at least bring a sweater for Maggie? 50 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,325 Impossibly high. 51 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,618 Now, let's get started 52 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,996 on the greatest daddy-daughter day ever! 53 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,589 Not even heated up. 54 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,299 Typical dog. 55 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,390 This is it, Maggie… 56 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,560 the place where Daddy goes every morning. 57 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:10,982 Now, you learn your numbers from these billiard balls 58 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,401 while Daddy gets happier and happier 59 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:16,154 and then sadder and sadder. 60 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,657 Moe, what are you doing? 61 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,367 I'm spiffing up the place! 62 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:24,162 Geez, can't a guy clean his bar for the first time ever 63 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,289 without people making polite inquiries? 64 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,587 Huh. I got a window here. 65 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,797 Ooh! 66 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,509 Hey, Maggie could play out there, 67 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,553 while I watch her from in here. 68 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,846 What do you say, Maggie? 69 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,100 Aw, her first enabling. 70 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,518 Hi, Maggie! 71 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,895 Up here, beautiful! 72 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,021 - Yo, Mags! - It's me! 73 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:51,522 Uncle Barney! 74 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,108 Remember I taught you your ABCs. 75 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:57,028 * A-B… P-K… * 76 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,197 * R… * 77 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,033 So, uh, I suppose you guys 78 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,785 are still wondering why I'm cleaning the bar. 79 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,286 - Woo! - Hey, Maggie! 80 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,663 - Maggie! Maggie! Maggie! - Hello, Maggie! 81 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,623 - Hello, Maggie! - Hey, Maggie. 82 00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,375 Maggie, look-look at my face. 83 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:14,504 It all began about a month ago… 84 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,089 It was a typical Friday night: 85 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,925 me surfing the Net at the public library, 86 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,386 with occasional drinking fountain breaks. 87 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,054 Ah, just how I like it: 88 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:25,348 warm and rusty. 89 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,186 Ooh! 90 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,854 I couldn't believe it… 91 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,357 I finally found an intelligent, sophisticated woman 92 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,734 who hadn't heard any of my knock-knock jokes. 93 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,822 "Orange who?" 94 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:44,033 All right, Moe, give her the punch line nice and easy. 95 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,412 "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" 96 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,542 The gargoyle has landed! 97 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,585 "You're funny." 98 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,613 Ooh, very nice. 99 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,588 Now, how can I put this? Um… 100 00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:01,718 "Are you sure you're not actually some creepy guy 101 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:02,969 in a public library?" 102 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:04,929 "No. 103 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,180 How about you?" 104 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:11,978 "Actually, there is a much creepier guy right next to me." 105 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:13,855 You know I'm a woman. 106 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:15,440 We used to own a cat together! 107 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,025 She had babies! Here's yours! 108 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,903 I would do anything to chat with Maya, 109 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,197 short of actually purchasing a computer. 110 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,283 We decided to take the next big step… 111 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,618 exchanging photos. 112 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,120 Okay, this is it. 113 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,789 I finally get to see what she looks like. 114 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,167 Dast I click on this JPEG? 115 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,128 No. I dasn't. 116 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:39,213 Yes, I dast! 117 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:44,010 So, what does she look like? 118 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,137 Whoa! 119 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,014 Yeah, she was a knockout. 120 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,849 Which meant I was screwed, 121 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,810 because now I had to send her a picture of me. 122 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,439 All right, before I send this, I'd better, uh, 123 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,024 un-beady the eyes, 124 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,109 de-Neanderthal the brow, 125 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,986 smooth out my hate lines, 126 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,738 lighten up the ear hair, 127 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,114 switch my lips, 128 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,200 then, black tie the whole deal. 129 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,203 Aw, I can't build a relationship on a lie. 130 00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,621 The lies come later. 131 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,337 She thinks I'm cute? 132 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,047 Oh, frabjulous day! 133 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,591 Calloo Callay! 134 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,843 So, that's why I'm cleaning things 135 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,387 and flushing things, 136 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,389 and making this place look respectable. 137 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,976 She's coming to meet me, here, tonight. 138 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,313 Moe's rat-free tavern! 139 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,649 Oh, uh, hey, Marge. Yeah, yeah, Homer's here. 140 00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,858 Oh, oh, you want Homer? 141 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,610 I'm sorry, I thought you meant Himmler. 142 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:43,945 Heinrich Himmler. 143 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,696 You know, the guy who invented the Heimlich "manure"? 144 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,490 Those are two different people! 145 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,075 Yeah, well they're both here, and neither one is your husband. 146 00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:51,285 This press conference is over. 147 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,508 Oh, Maggie made some new friends. 148 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:09,095 Aw, burrowing your head into your daddy. 149 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:12,014 A sign that my baby is happy and confident. 150 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,314 Hmm. Mm-hmm. 151 00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:23,136 Mm-hmm. 152 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,235 Mmm. 153 00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:25,736 Mm-hmm. 154 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,908 Ah! Yeah. 155 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,995 Okay, she said she'd be here at exactly 8:00. 156 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,998 You calling my girl a liar?! 157 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,004 Okay. 158 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,301 I've been stood up. 159 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,344 Moe, I'm down here. 160 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,097 Oh, you're a little person? 161 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,891 No, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. 162 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,517 Uh, what-what's the correct term? 163 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,602 Little person. 164 00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:58,686 Whoa! 165 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,104 Look at me being polite! 166 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,982 So, aren't you gonna invite me in? 167 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,276 Of course, of… um, I-I just have to… 168 00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:06,777 I have to tidy up the place. 169 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,238 Just one sec. 170 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:12,909 Ooh! 171 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,952 Eh, yeah, that's better. 172 00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:20,082 So, Maya, um, have you always been this size, 173 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,126 or is this like a Benjamin Button deal? 174 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,962 No, I mean, it's just 175 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,341 that your picture made you look more, uh, life-sized. 176 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,218 Well, that was taken at Legoland. 177 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,845 I was afraid you'd be disappointed in the real me. 178 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,138 What, are you kidding me? 179 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,806 You're the best thing to come into this bar 180 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,183 since cable TV. 181 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,143 And unlike cable TV, I ain't stealing you 182 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,604 from the Chinese restaurant across the street there. 183 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,106 I see you watch ESPN2! 184 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,358 I know! 185 00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,944 Yeah, that's great there, Ling Chow. 186 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,112 So, uh, you still want to go out? 187 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,490 - That's why I'm here. - Great. Let me get a car seat. 188 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,158 - Car seat? - Yeah, 189 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,743 I took out the passenger seat to save gas, 190 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,161 but I'm gonna use it now 191 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,579 'cause we're gonna do the town! 192 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,210 So instead of getting a new bar sign, 193 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,713 I saved 300 bucks by changing my name to Moe. 194 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,591 Moe! You eat alone again tonight, huh? 195 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,842 Table for one! 196 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,386 Facing the wall! 197 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,680 Whoa, whoa…not so fast, garlic press. 198 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,139 I'm here with my date. 199 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,016 She's beautiful! 200 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,435 But so far away. 201 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,942 Mmm, you're a good kisser. 202 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:29,151 Yeah. 203 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,987 I practice by siphoning gas 204 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,321 out of other people's tanks. 205 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,323 But I never tasted super-premium 206 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,200 that was half as good as you. 207 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,035 Oh, Moe. 208 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,037 Yeah. 209 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,670 How did your date go, Moe? 210 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:48,963 Incredible. 211 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,172 I've never felt like this before. 212 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,174 It's like my heart wants to do her. 213 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,467 Aw. 214 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,219 So, when are we gonna meet her? 215 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,805 Oh, I can't wait till you guys get to, um… 216 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,271 Yep, that's what we'd do! 217 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,440 Uh, let me ask you guys something. 218 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,899 How would you treat a person 219 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,067 who's generally dynamite 220 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:13,571 but, uh, in some way a little different? 221 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,406 You mean like how we treat Homer? 222 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,158 'Cause he can't remember limericks? 223 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,367 I can, too! 224 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,077 There once was this guy 225 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,247 from an island off the coast of Massachusetts, uh… 226 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,249 Nantucket, I think it was. 227 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,669 Anyway, he had the most unusual personal characteristic, 228 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,130 which was, uh… um… 229 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,055 Look at him struggling with the simplest rhyme. 230 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,265 It's A-A-B-B-A, dumb-ass! 231 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,334 There you are! 232 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:13,130 Aw. Innocent babies whistling nonchalantly. 233 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,715 How sweet. 234 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,218 Maggie will be back to play with you tomorrow. 235 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,554 Come on, Maggie. 236 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,764 Have some grapefruit. 237 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,140 She seems upset. 238 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,351 Maybe if I lay down a beat on my bongos, 239 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:26,936 that will soothe her. 240 00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:35,111 Dad, do you have any idea what's gotten into Maggie? 241 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,487 How would I know? 242 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,656 You've been spending so much time with her. 243 00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:39,907 I have not! 244 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,575 Oh, right. You think I do. 245 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,580 When you leave your children, 246 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,583 do you really know whom you're leaving them with? 247 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,169 Your little angels are safe with me. 248 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,380 Enjoy your second honeymoon! 249 00:11:56,465 --> 00:12:00,177 You, wash me unmentionables! 250 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,263 And, you, preheat the oven 251 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,223 for two children at 450. 252 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,060 When you can't be there, 253 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,438 Prying-Eye Surveillance can. 254 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,982 We take images from your camera, 255 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,817 scramble them, beam them to our orbiting satellite, 256 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,236 unscramble them, then scramble them again, 257 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:20,030 then unscramble them that all-important final time. 258 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,282 Our competitors claim 259 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,950 we scramble our images too much. 260 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:26,579 We say, "Can you love your children too much?" 261 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,501 The only thing betterthan Prying-Eye watching your children 262 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,628 is you watching your children, 263 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,756 and we know that's not gonna happen. 264 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:44,430 Wait a second, Marge. 265 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,432 Do you really want to use your baby 266 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,225 as a tool to spy on your husband? 267 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,351 Yes, you do. 268 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,061 I wasn't talking to you. 269 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,105 When you say it, it's not just in your head. 270 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,152 This is where I live. 271 00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:00,738 Uh, so is there a knob 272 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,365 or an open sesame-type deal, or what? 273 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,285 My house is over there. 274 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:09,246 You didn't actually think I lived in a tree, did you? 275 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,316 No. Hey, no. 276 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,458 Hey, a lot of people live in trees. 277 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,835 Uh, Tarzan, the Berenstain Bears, 278 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,378 flood victims. 279 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:28,432 * Umpa-lumpa, we are so small… * 280 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,934 Gah! 281 00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:32,269 Why should I be watching anything when I can look 282 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,939 at the most beautiful thing in the world: youse? 283 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,482 Mese? 284 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:37,468 That's right. 285 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,443 Kiss the troll and win a prize. 286 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,862 Yeah. Mmm. 287 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,322 Mmm, mmm, mmm. Mmm, mmm… 288 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:44,573 Listen. 289 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,700 There's one thing that keeps bothering me. 290 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,452 Is it my religion? 291 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,704 'Cause I am a snake handler, but not an observant one. 292 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:54,041 If we have kids, they just have to have a ceremony with a cobra 293 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,669 by age three so their grandfather will be happy. 294 00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,254 No, that's fine. 295 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,047 It's just that I can't help wondering 296 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,299 why you've never introduced me to anyone you know. 297 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,759 When your mailman waved to us, 298 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,970 you made me hide under that traffic cone. 299 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,347 Well, I do know this one couple… 300 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,475 the Simpsons, I believe their name is… 301 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,310 that ain't too judgmental. 302 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,272 She's a stand-up dame, and he's a fall-down drunk. 303 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,481 And, well, we'll make a double date of it. 304 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,149 Now, let's get back to what we were… 305 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,318 Hey, what's going on? 306 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,736 Whoa. You turned into a doll! 307 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,905 I just do that to freak people out. 308 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,242 Oh. 309 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,457 Here she is, uh, Homer. 310 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,459 The wonderful girl I been telling you about. 311 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,503 Pleased to meet you. 312 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,381 Uh, perhaps this is inappropriate, 313 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,925 but I have a mechanical question 314 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,136 while the kids are out of the room, 315 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,929 that I can't help wondering about. 316 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,222 Ugh! 317 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,516 In a nuclear power plant, 318 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,687 just how is nuclear energy turned into electricity? 319 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:59,106 Well, if I remember my high school physics, 320 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:01,317 the controlled nuclear reaction creates steam 321 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,484 which powers a turbine… 322 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,529 Man, oh, man, slap a ring on that! 323 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,456 All right, Homer. 324 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,541 Let's see what my baby's been up to. 325 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,171 Here we are, Maggie… that park you love. 326 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,008 Marge, Moe and Maya are here for our double date. 327 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,010 Oh. Okay, I'm coming. 328 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,847 See you when the moon comes out. 329 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,903 Man, that made me thirsty. 330 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,489 For you. 331 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,576 She's beautiful, Moe. 332 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,536 Yeah, she sure is. 333 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:02,920 Here comes ours, honey. 334 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:08,592 Would you look at me. 335 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,719 I'm the happiest bartender in the world. 336 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,430 Sorry, fellas. 337 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,435 Maya, there's something I want to ask you. 338 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,271 Um, I… I don't know why I'm so nervous. 339 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,607 This makes more sense than anything I've ever done. 340 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,776 Well, other than keeping all my Netflix movies 341 00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,736 and saying the post office lost 'em. 342 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,613 Anyway, um… 343 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,781 will you marry me? 344 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,619 Are you asking me to be your… little woman? 345 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:39,081 Well, as long as you don't mind having a small wedding. 346 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:43,293 And-and we can drink champagne out of an acorn top. 347 00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,631 Our first dance will be on the head of a pin! 348 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,801 I've been hogging all the good ones. 349 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,929 All right, now you go, but, uh, hey, keep it short! 350 00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,058 Wh-What's the matter, doll? 351 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,518 We were just having fun. 352 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,854 I stopped having fun about ten jokes ago, 353 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,522 and you just kept going. 354 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:04,605 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 355 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:05,649 Oh-Oh, forgive me, kitten. 356 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,443 I mean cat. I mean, tiger. 357 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,445 I mean saber-toothed tiger. I mean… aah. 358 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:10,696 I think you should go now. 359 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,865 Okay. I screwed this up pretty bad, 360 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,867 and, uh… and I'm sorry. 361 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,119 How long do you people remember things? 362 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,996 Get out. 363 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,045 Guys, after all the years I've given you advice, 364 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,880 now I need a little advice from you. 365 00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:29,506 We never follow your advice. 366 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,092 The one time I did, I went to jail for three years. 367 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,594 You made some good friends, didn't you? 368 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:34,678 Just 'cause you're chained 369 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,346 to a guy don't make him your friend. 370 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,682 Tomato, tomahto. Now, how am I gonna win Maya back? 371 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,934 Well, if I've learned anything from romantic comedies, 372 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,062 it's that you got to make a grand, 373 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,897 reckless gesture, the kind that looks like 374 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,690 it might blow up in your face. 375 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,692 But what if it blows up in my face? 376 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:51,028 Uh, with your face, who cares? 377 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,696 You got to make me shorter, Doc. 378 00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:55,699 What do you mean? 379 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,660 I mean, take out bones, guts, whatever you got to do 380 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,496 to make me a micro-Moe. 381 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,082 What you're asking is completely unethical. 382 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,168 No licensed physician would perform that operation. 383 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,337 Now close your eyes, 384 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:11,632 and when you wake up, you will be a woman. 385 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:12,758 No, no, no, no, no. 386 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,802 I-I want to be shorter for a woman. 387 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,347 Uh-oh! I mixed you up with the last guy. 388 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,892 I look nothing like Julie Newmar! 389 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,774 Mm. Mm-hmm. Ha! Maya is gonna love the new me! 390 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,652 Moe, why did you do this?! 391 00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,112 Well, I ain't done nothing yet, 392 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,363 but I'm considering it, 393 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,907 because I want to share your world forever. 394 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,327 Moe, if you have to be like me to love me, 395 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,538 then you're not seeing the real me. 396 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,540 Oh, I see you, Maya. 397 00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,667 I see you every time I look at the moon. 398 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:49,294 I see you in puddles after it rains. 399 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:52,005 I see you in the glazed eye of a barfly 400 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,633 who's had one too many. Aah. 401 00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,386 So cut me down to size, Doc. 402 00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,804 And can you wrap up the bones 403 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,806 so my dog can have fun with 'em? 404 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,600 But, Moe, I don't want someone who sees me as short. 405 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:06,937 I want someone who just sees me as beautiful. 406 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,022 Goodbye. 407 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,735 Okay, no more delays. 408 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,113 I've got to watch this. 409 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,542 I'll save you, Maggie! 410 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,964 I'm telling! 411 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,677 Oh, now what? 412 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,185 Aw, sweetie, you saved me. 413 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,187 Well, I promise that wherever you go in this world, 414 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,189 I will always be there for you. 415 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,524 Oh, Maggie, I love you from the tip of your toes 416 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:56,236 to the bow on your hair with the red blinking light. 417 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,281 God bless your mother for making you with me. 418 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:03,410 What you watching, honey? 419 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,664 Homer Simpson, you are a strong finisher. 420 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,666 And I'm good at beginnings. 421 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,460 Mmm, mmm! 422 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,343 Uh, what's the matter, Homer? 423 00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:20,844 Not a thing in the world. 424 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,804 Yeah, I wish I could say the same. 425 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,432 Moe, this is a great thing for you. 426 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,351 You went from sitting on the sidelines 427 00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:28,685 to getting in the game. 428 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,771 Sometime when you least expect it, 429 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,315 you'll realize that someone loved you. 430 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,817 And that means someone can love you again. 431 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,694 And that'll make you smile. 432 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,374 Hey, Homer was right. 433 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,669 Who'd have thought such a little woman 434 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,213 could make me feel so big? 435 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,564 Enhanced by Fotokem