1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,964 * The Simpsons * 2 00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:09,508 D'oh! 3 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,570 Care to try our new Science Water? 4 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:31,906 Hmm. The label is all in lowercase. 5 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,869 It's like drinking e. e. cummings! 6 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:39,372 And each of our flavors is named after a real word! 7 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,874 - Nourish. - Mmm. 8 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,542 - Vitality. - Oh. 9 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,002 - Purple. - Ooh. 10 00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,004 - Potato-Lime. - Mmm. 11 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,589 - I Love The '90s. - Oh! 12 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,007 New Car Smell. 13 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,884 Excuse me, 14 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:53,428 I'm feeling a little over-hydrated. 15 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:54,846 That's normal. 16 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:57,015 It just means your bladder's full of science. 17 00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,308 Now, if you'll excuse me, 18 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:01,311 our company just went bankrupt. 19 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,653 Gotta find a place to tinkle. 20 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,156 Language! 21 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,578 Schools have bathrooms! And I'm a woman, 22 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,873 so my going in unattended won't cause a panic. 23 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,168 Hey, Mrs. Simpson. 24 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,377 Janey. 25 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,923 Ooh! That's Bart's class. 26 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,927 Lousy teachers. 27 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,972 Lousy hangover. 28 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,892 This school has really gone downhill. 29 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,314 That's an awfully crowded classroom. 30 00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:52,904 Three, two, one. 31 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:54,197 Okay, children, 32 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,074 I've just been granted tenure, 33 00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,910 so I'm gonna sit back and let Ralph teach for a while. 34 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:06,334 Class, in what year was one plus one? 35 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:10,338 The answer is: "The Amazing Ralph"! 36 00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,550 The only person getting an education 37 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,260 here today was me! 38 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,803 In how bad it is! 39 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,472 Mrs. Simpson, let me pour you a drink. 40 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,099 Scotch? Vodka? Gin? 41 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,475 I've got everything you want. 42 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,811 I want my kids in a decent school! 43 00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:27,480 Hey, I want the "check engine" light on my dashboard 44 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,149 to shut off, but that ain't gonna happen. 45 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,153 And because of cutbacks 46 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,029 they were combining math with P.E. 47 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,698 They were playing dodge book! 48 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,074 Look at this. 49 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,577 Springfield Elementary's rating is so low, 50 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,663 it's more than two standard deviations below the norm. 51 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,915 Oh, I can't understand that math reference, 52 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,126 because I went to Springfield Elementary! 53 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,712 My cousin goes to a much better school. 54 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,338 He lives in Waverly Hills. 55 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,841 Oh, their school system's the best. 56 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:57,719 Their auditorium and their gym are two different rooms! 57 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,306 We can't afford to move to Waverly Hills! 58 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,641 Their house prices have commas in them. 59 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,019 As it is, our lawn is just green-painted cement. 60 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,066 I just wish I could go to a school like that… 61 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,193 even for one week. 62 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,153 "'Tis better to have learned and lost 63 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,071 then never to have learned at all." 64 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,574 What if we got a small apartment there? 65 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,950 We wouldn't have to live in it, 66 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,578 but we would have a Waverly Hills address. 67 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,413 Mom, that's brilliant! 68 00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:28,583 We could go to a school where special doesn't always mean bad! 69 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,168 And where the teachers don't have to moonlight 70 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:31,544 as telemarketers. 71 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,589 As you know, the music of Air Supply is timeless. 72 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:38,051 And now their 50 biggest hits are on four CDs. 73 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:39,135 Wait, wait, wait. 74 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,553 You're putting us in a new school?! 75 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,180 What about my friends? 76 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,474 Oh, elementary school friends… 77 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,768 those are forever! 78 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:50,271 You're always gonna be friends with Milhouse. 79 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,106 * Stand by me * 80 00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,442 * Oh, stand by me * 81 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,110 * Oh, stand now * 82 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,737 * Stand by me * 83 00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,240 * Stand by me! * 84 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,450 I need to rent an apartment 85 00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,202 in the worst part of Waverly Hills… 86 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,370 the crappier, the better. 87 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:06,454 Ah, so cheap, eh? 88 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:09,540 "Ahso sheepay" to you. 89 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,087 I can't afford this place… 90 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,463 it's way too fancy. 91 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:18,049 Sometimes there's not a train going by. 92 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,802 Four walls? 93 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,804 Hmm, I was thinking more 94 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,223 of something in a two or three. 95 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:29,894 No windows, no parking, 96 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:30,978 and a man died here. 97 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,605 Play it cool, Homer. 98 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,065 Don't let her know it's perfect. 99 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:36,192 Yeah, um, 100 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,570 well, I'm looking at a lot of murder sites right now. 101 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:40,655 Where's the bedroom? 102 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:43,116 Right here. Hmm? 103 00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:46,244 Tempting. Tempting. Where's the bathroom? 104 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,830 In the Ethiopian Restaurant at the end of the block. 105 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,039 I'll take it! 106 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,088 * Waverly Hills d 107 00:04:57,171 --> 00:05:00,300 * That's where I want to be * 108 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,286 * Gimme, gimme * 109 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,719 * Gimme, gimme d 110 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,846 * Squatting in Waverly Hills * 111 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,307 * Waverly Hills * 112 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,059 * Get education fraudulently * 113 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,311 * Gimme, gimme * 114 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,770 * Gimme, gimme d 115 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,440 - ♪ Moochin' off Waverly Hills. d -Meh. 116 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,279 Well, welcome to Waverly Hills. 117 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,198 - Your children can start school immediately. -Thank you! 118 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,075 Now you'll be getting a random visit 119 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,077 from the inspector sometime this month. 120 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,662 The what? 121 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,872 It's just a formality 122 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,540 to make sure you actually live here. 123 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,167 Some people use the address 124 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,419 just so their kids can go to our schools. 125 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,129 I can see them now 126 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,757 with their bald heads and their blue-haired wives. 127 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,383 How I despise them. 128 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,428 Uh, yeah, well, here's our inspector now. 129 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:51,267 Call it, friendo. 130 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,393 Heads. I mean, tails. 131 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,478 I mean, on its side. 132 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,107 Well done. 133 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,860 Now, let me validate your parking. 134 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,655 That's not enough. 135 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:05,782 Thank you. 136 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,372 Good night, Marge. 137 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,499 It's so kind of you to live there 138 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,667 so our kids can go to a better school. 139 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,503 When do I get to move back home? 140 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,171 You just have to stay there 141 00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:23,174 until that psychopathic school inspector 142 00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:24,509 makes a surprise visit. 143 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,177 You can come home when the heat's off. 144 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:27,595 The heat is off. 145 00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:29,305 The hissing from the radiator is a snake. 146 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,141 Please just stay there 147 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,060 till Bart graduates high school. 148 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:37,522 Oh, that's another 20 or 30 years. 149 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,782 Where am I? 150 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:53,496 Wow, your first day at the new school! 151 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:54,705 Lisa, have fun! 152 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,124 Bart, don't! 153 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,170 Look at this place. 154 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,047 It's everything I've ever dreamed of. 155 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,924 On-campus stables! 156 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,222 Field trips to Europe! 157 00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,767 Oh, my God, 158 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,853 look what they serve in the cafeteria! 159 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,814 Welcome! 160 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,066 I'm your new principal, Dr. Bettelheim. 161 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,860 Oh, a doctorate! 162 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,028 Wait! Don't matriculate those students! 163 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,738 Principal Skinner? 164 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,574 We need Lisa Simpson at Springfield Elementary. 165 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,617 She's our top student, 166 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,578 and she writes the fun facts in the morning announcements! 167 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:36,080 Skinner! 168 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,165 Bettelheim. 169 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,332 Superintendent Chalmers?! 170 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,877 What are you doing at… another school?! 171 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,628 Seymour, as superintendent, 172 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,381 I supervise every school in the district. 173 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,302 So… you're overseeing other people? 174 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,430 I'm sorry if you misunderstood our arrangement. 175 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,432 What am I supposed to tell our children? 176 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:55,850 They already know, 177 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,603 and they're happy for me. 178 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,693 Hey, neighbor. Welcome to the jungle, 179 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:08,279 also known as Royal Waverly Apartments. 180 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,864 Brought you a housewarming present. 181 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,076 Oh, that was great. 182 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,661 You mind if I use that at work? 183 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:16,871 It's yours, my friend. 184 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,247 Hey, are you into poker? 185 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,833 Well, I love to play, but I'm not very good. 186 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,920 Also, I always forget to cash my chips back in for money. 187 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:27,507 This man-crush just got bro-mantic! 188 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,342 You make words into dudes. 189 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,411 Guy-five! 190 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,636 Yeah! 191 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,557 Hi, newbie! 192 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,268 I'm Caitlin with a C, this is Katelyn with a K, 193 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,062 and this is Kate Lynn, two words. 194 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,314 I'm Lisa. One word. 195 00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:46,442 So, Lisa, what's your favorite Alaska Nebraska song? 196 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,319 Mine's "Touch A Star". 197 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,321 Mine's "Make It Yours: The Star Song". 198 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:52,323 Uh, who's Alaska Nebraska? 199 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,617 "Who's Alaska Nebraska?" 200 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,619 Only the greatest 16-year-old 201 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,871 singer-slash-actress in the world! 202 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,873 Do you even know how lame you are? 203 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,709 I should warn you: by using the term "lame," 204 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,420 you're violating the Americans With Disabilities Act. 205 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,881 Ew! That makes you even lamer! 206 00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:12,927 Mm… 207 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,428 Mm. 208 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,515 B-plus?! 209 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:18,598 Nice work. 210 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,101 But I always get A's. 211 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,311 At my old school, I got so many A's, 212 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,564 the teachers didn't even check my work. 213 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,399 Maybe that's why you got so many A's. 214 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,360 Oh, my God, you've been challenged! 215 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:32,655 Well, Lisa, let's see how you respond. 216 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,415 Bart, at this school, I'm not a brain, 217 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,500 I'm not popular, I'm not anything! 218 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,420 Not to worry. At this school, we've got a clean slate. 219 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:50,047 In fact, I'm establishing my cred right now. 220 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:52,550 Gotcha! 221 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,468 Hey! Come on. 222 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,970 Take this as a warning, kids. 223 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:58,598 Bart Simpson is the ultimate bad boy. 224 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,017 Befriend him and you'll wind up just like him… 225 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,728 a rebel who does what he wants when he wants. 226 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,062 Wow. 227 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,565 Come on, tough guy, let's go. 228 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,443 He's so bad! 229 00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,368 Okay, I held up my side of the bargain. 230 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,038 Now you have to go to Ralphie's birthday party. 231 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,497 Eh, a deal's a deal. 232 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,583 And you'll stay till we cut the cake. 233 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,752 Fine. I want one gift bag now, 234 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:29,337 and one when the party's over. 235 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,422 Fine. You got it. 236 00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,635 You wanted a powwow, Chief? 237 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,304 I know you've been dealing drugs at the high school. 238 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:39,847 But I'll look the other way 239 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,807 if you come to Ralphie's party. 240 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,310 I ain't gonna pin no tail on no donkey. 241 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:45,770 Look, just come to the party. 242 00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,772 It's gonna be fun. Batman's gonna be there. 243 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,815 Ba-Ba-Ba-Batman?! 244 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,526 I ain't messin' with no Caped Crusader! 245 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,785 I wonder what he did. 246 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,620 I heard he burned down his old school. 247 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,497 I heard he killed a groundskeeper! 248 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,874 Oh, my, that's a bit rough. 249 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,674 Now, to turn my sis from loser to schmoozer. 250 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,805 ¿Qué pasa, ladies? 251 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,473 You're that bad boy. 252 00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,475 What do you want from us, bad boy? 253 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:27,812 Don't tell anyone, but my sister Lisa is best friends 254 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,563 with Alaska Nebraska. 255 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:30,940 - Get out of here! - No way! 256 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,441 You so lie! 257 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,068 She didn't even know who Alaska Nebraska was. 258 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,655 Duh. She said that because she respects Alaska's privacy. 259 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,281 Just as I have no doubt 260 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,701 you guys will respect Lisa's privacy. 261 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,672 We're approaching bandwidth overload, sir. 262 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,507 It's gossip at Waverly Elementary. 263 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,967 How juicy is it? 264 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,050 The juiciest! 265 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,139 Hi, Lisa! 266 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,765 - Hi, Caitlin. - She knows my name! 267 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,684 No, she knows my name! 268 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,561 Bart, your plan worked! 269 00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:09,687 My plan was to lie. 270 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:10,771 Lie like hell. 271 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,690 And that's what I did. 272 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,567 Well, well. 273 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:17,695 Seems like someone forgot about a previous engagement 274 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,698 at the bowling alley from 2:00 to 4:30. 275 00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,612 Get him and string him up. 276 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,325 "You have the right to be delighted. 277 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:08,120 If you do not have a gift, one will be provided for you." 278 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,666 It's open. 279 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,585 Marge, I'm glad you came. 280 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:16,003 There's a kegger down the hall. 281 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,671 We can go as soon as I desecrate this corpse. 282 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,966 I'm sorry, Marge. 283 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,676 Where are my manners? 284 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,845 Did you want to taunt my kill, also? 285 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,180 Press the X button. 286 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,640 Ooh, I'm doing it! 287 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,356 I'll get us some brewskies. 288 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,025 Cup, my lady? 289 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,569 Or would you care to funnel it down thy throat? 290 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,322 Definitely a cup. 291 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,366 Foam wasn't spilt in a day. 292 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,535 Dude, your date is hot! 293 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:48,953 Does she have a sister? 294 00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,788 Two, actually. Twins. 295 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,915 - Twins! - Twins! 296 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,626 I was an astronaut for a little bit. 297 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,920 So many rules. 298 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,552 Your hair smells nice! 299 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:07,012 Mmm. 300 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,682 Listen, I got a place down the hall. 301 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,725 Oh, let's go. 302 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,896 So, were you two in the same accident, 303 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,690 or… or what? 304 00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,153 We don't need a bed. 305 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,947 We're not gonna be sleeping. 306 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:31,996 We're not the only ones having a good time. 307 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,957 What in God's name was I thinking?! 308 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,252 Maybe you could come over again. 309 00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,629 I'll cook you my special microwave burritos. 310 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:45,092 I stop the oven when the middle is still a little bit frozen. 311 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:48,554 You know what a girl likes, mister. 312 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,306 So, can I see you again? 313 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:54,435 How about you, me and my wife have a two-way? 314 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,521 Hi. 315 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,774 Lisa, I regraded your paper from the other day, 316 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,109 and you got an A. 317 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,821 - Really? -My kid's a huge Alaska Nebraska fan. 318 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,991 If she could somehow get an autographed photo or T-shirt, 319 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,910 that would be A-plus in my book. 320 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,620 Did you just wink at me? 321 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,830 Oh, look, there are pumpkin stickers on the floor. 322 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,666 They must have fallen off your homework for next week, 323 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,793 which you don't have to hand in. 324 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,757 I didn't think I'd get a fresh start like this 325 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,342 till junior high. 326 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,969 L'école, c'est moi! 327 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,846 Oui. C'est toi! 328 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,391 Even the Ralph of this school speaks French! 329 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,393 Au revoir! 330 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,148 I love tapas! 331 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:43,359 It's like appetizers for a meal that never comes. 332 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,321 Try the flan deleche de cabra. 333 00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,823 Be sure to dig around in the gunk. 334 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:53,869 Homie! 335 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,829 A key to 336 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,748 your apartment! 337 00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,083 Mmm! 338 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,502 And I've got a present for you, 339 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:05,089 but you'll have to wait till we're back at the apartment. 340 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,966 Why can't I have it now? 341 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,342 You got your present here. 342 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,927 Basic fairness dictates… 343 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,806 Caitlin, hi. 344 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,308 Do a reading at your bat mitzvah? 345 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,018 A sheynam dank! 346 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,437 Now my bat mitzvah means something. 347 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,189 By the way, I was wondering. 348 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,650 There's this Alaska Nebraska concert this weekend, 349 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,735 and the tickets are all sold out. 350 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,903 Well, if it's sold out, 351 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,947 even Alaska Nebraska's best friend 352 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,699 couldn't do anything about that. 353 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,326 Can't build more seats. 354 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,787 Then get us backstage passes. 355 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,749 Surprise! 356 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,626 I redecorated! 357 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:43,794 Where are my video games? 358 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,295 My X-box?! My Wii?! 359 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,881 You don't need a Wii now that I'm here. 360 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,009 Because you and me make us. 361 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,343 You know, you're starting 362 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,595 to remind me a lot of my first wife. 363 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,390 We can talk about that after brunch with my mother. 364 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,687 Miss Nebraska, 365 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,940 your purified water and fried chicken skins are here. 366 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,364 I am so tired of fans in my food. 367 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,825 Alaska, we've never met, 368 00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:16,660 but everyone thinks I'm your best friend. 369 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,454 Wait. Wait, let me guess. 370 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,789 I'm supposed to give all your best friends 371 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,583 front-row seats and backstage passes. 372 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:23,666 Could you? 373 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,461 First, riddle me this. 374 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,546 What's your favorite episode of my show? 375 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,048 You have a show? 376 00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,720 Look, can you please, please help a poor little girl 377 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,680 who was just trying to fit in? 378 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,807 It's what half your songs are about. 379 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,309 You know what? 380 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,644 I was a little girl who didn't fit in, either. 381 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:43,896 So you know what I did? 382 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,689 I got a new nose, I got famous, 383 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,483 and now I date the starting point guard 384 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:48,552 for the L.A. Clippers. 385 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,444 Now if you'll excuse me, 386 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,863 I have to go meditate and smoke. 387 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,408 Wait. I want to ask you something. 388 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,160 Could you tell I lip-synched that whole speech? 389 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,037 You know what? 390 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,790 I was a little girl who didn't fit in, either. 391 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:03,999 So you know what I did? 392 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,793 I got a new nose, I… 393 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:06,862 That's amazing. 394 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,170 I know. Security! 395 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:10,756 You know, I think those shirts should say insecurity. 396 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,049 Because if you feel 397 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:14,301 you have to put what you are on your shirt, 398 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,969 then I feel sorry for you. 399 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,639 Do you feel sorry for me? Hmm. Guess not. 400 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:23,644 Where have you been? 401 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,104 We have mirrors to hang! 402 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,730 I went to a movie. 403 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:27,856 Without me? 404 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,066 How'd you get there? 405 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,149 - I drove. - Without me? 406 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:32,986 Sometimes I think this 50-square-foot apartment 407 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,446 isn't big enough for the both of us! 408 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,698 Fine! You can have your key back! 409 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,452 I got it halfway. 410 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,829 Oh, it went back. 411 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:46,917 City inspector. 412 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,920 I'm here to verify 413 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,589 that this is the residence of Bart and Lisa Simpson. 414 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,899 Hello, friendos. 415 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,446 Here comes Lisa with our backstage passes! 416 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,448 Yay! 417 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,242 People, I'm not who you think I am. 418 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:23,162 I'm just a transfer student who wanted to make some friends. 419 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,580 Yes, I lied to you, 420 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,957 but you only liked me because of a lie. 421 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,458 So if you think about it… 422 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,586 Get the liar! 423 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,637 Those are last year's shoes! 424 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,014 Kill her! 425 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,223 Also, it's Lisa! 426 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,307 Kill her twice! 427 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,021 With pages missing. 428 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:52,399 Lego spaceship, poorly assembled. 429 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:55,694 Clearly, this is the home of elementary school children. 430 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:56,945 Too bad. 431 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,989 I was looking forward to killing you 432 00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,033 and making it look like a suicide. 433 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,910 Thank you, friendo. 434 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,119 I am not your friendo. 435 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,704 But I thought… 436 00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,414 You said… 437 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,499 - Whew! - Mom! Dad! 438 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,002 I have to leave Waverly Hills and never come back. 439 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,503 I got to get back, too. 440 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,672 I just remembered I was playing hide-and-seek with Milhouse. 441 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,216 Three weeks?! 442 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,426 This has got to be some kind of record. 443 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,178 I can't leave my bachelor pad. 444 00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,261 My bros will miss me. 445 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,972 No, we won't! 446 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,350 Your comments when we watch movies aren't funny. 447 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,809 Why do you watch comedies 448 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,269 if you don't want to hear more jokes? 449 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:32,773 Please, I just want to go back to a place 450 00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,650 where I'm ostracized for being me, 451 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:35,984 not for who I pretend to be. 452 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,736 What do you think, Marge? 453 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:38,987 Maybe we've outgrown 454 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,197 our first apartment. 455 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,616 Yeah. A house in the suburbs 456 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,409 does sound pretty nice right now. 457 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:48,455 Although I am gonna miss our little love nest. 458 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,631 Get a room! 459 00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,092 Come on, boy. Be cool! -But… 460 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,302 Be cool, or you're grounded! 461 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,518 * Waverly Hills * 462 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,271 * That's where I want to be * 463 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,065 * Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme * 464 00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:17,609 * Squatting in Waverly Hills * 465 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,695 * Waverly Hills * 466 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,614 * Get education fraudulently * 467 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,659 * Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme * 468 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:28,245 * Moochin' off Waverly Hills.d 469 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,813 Enhanced by Fotokem