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00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:06,214
* The Simpsons *
2
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D'oh!
3
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Aah!
4
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,411
Marge, can't we
get some clear plates?
5
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:39,497
I can't see the TV.
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Is it really necessary
to watch TV while we're eating?
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We're getting food all over.
8
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Yoink!
9
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,688
If you really wanted us
to be neater
10
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,648
you'd serve us
out of one long bowl.
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You're talking
about a trough.
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We're not going
to eat from a trough.
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And another thing,
it's only 5:15.
14
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Why are you
in your underwear?
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Hey, this ain't
the Ritz.
16
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At least let's have a civilized
conversation, shall we?
17
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Lisa, how was school?
18
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How was what?
What?
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School! School!
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It's not time
for school.
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I know it's not…
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I'm going into
the dining room
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to have a conversation.
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Anyone who wants
to join me is welcome.
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Hello, Marge,
how's the family?
26
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I don't want
to talk about it.
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Mind your own business.
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Keep it down in there,
everybody.
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00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,691
Homer, is this the way
you pictured married life?
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Yeah, pretty much.
31
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Except we drove around in
a van solving mysteries.
32
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Well, I pictured
cocktail parties
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and candlelit dinners.
34
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I pictured napkins!
35
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Homer, I want to throw
a dinner party.
36
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:02,080
Oh, I hate
having parties.
37
00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,957
The toilet
always gets backed up.
38
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I don't care
if the sink shoots sludge.
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We're having a party.
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Man, that is flagrant
false advertising!
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It's just not a dinner party
without a melon baller
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and we'll need a citrus zester
43
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a ravioli crimper.
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Ooh, an oyster mallet.
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"Made in U.S.A."
46
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Oh, no, thank you.
47
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Hey, Lis,
check this out.
48
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Nonstick coating.
49
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,873
Ooh.
50
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A punchbowl like that
just screams good taste.
51
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Wouldn't it be perfect
for the dinner party?
52
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,754
Oh, we can't afford that.
53
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Who do you think
I am, Liz Taylor?
54
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Well, maybe we could
use it once
55
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and then return it.
56
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,721
Marge, we're not
talking
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about a toothbrush here.
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Bart, company's coming.
59
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Go put doilies under the coasters.
Hurry! Hurry!
60
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,777
Lisa, quick,
screw these back on.
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00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,112
Mom, calm down.
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The party's not for
another three hours.
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Oh, good.
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That will give me time
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to add another coat
of glaze to the ham.
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Homer!
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What?!
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00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:45,558
Are you ready?!
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Just got to put my shoes on.
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00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,021
The only thing I asked
you to do for this party
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was put on clothes
and you didn't do it.
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And now it's too late!
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They're here!
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Bart, greet our guests
and take their coats.
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00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,618
Mom, Reverend Lovejoy
doesn't have a coat.
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00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,687
Should I let him in?
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00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:05,995
My coat was stolen
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00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,206
at last week's
interfaith banquet
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00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,415
so I helped myself
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00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,376
to a few
of the better umbrellas.
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00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,669
Well, as you can see
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we don't believe
fur is murder.
83
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,965
But paying for
it sure is.
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00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,218
Uh, sorry we're late
85
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:22,637
but Luann had to
put on her face.
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00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,722
She doesn't want
anyone to know
87
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she's got no eyebrows.
88
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,642
What? You don't.
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00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,984
Did anyone see that
new Woodsy Allen movie?
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00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,819
You know, I'd like
his films except for
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that nervous fellow
who's always in them.
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00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,240
If you want to talk nervous,
you should have seen Kirk deal
93
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,617
with the high school boys
who egged our Bonneville.
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00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,245
I should've asked them
to hurl some bacon.
95
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,622
Then maybe I could've had
a decent breakfast for once.
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00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,670
You know what
you two need?
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00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:58,756
A little comic strip
called "Love Is".
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00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,218
It's about two naked eight-year-olds
who are married.
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00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,016
Hmm, well…
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00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,851
Marge, if that was
my last meal
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00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,438
I'd tell the warden, "Bring on
the lethal injection".
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00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,815
Yeah, Marge, I know
I haven't eaten that well
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00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,525
since I was in the army.
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Or that noisily.
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All right, that's it.
106
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,572
So, who wants
to play a game?
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00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:28,911
Oh… That's a
noodle scratcher.
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Cornstarch!
109
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:31,956
Oh, righty-oh!
110
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,835
It's good for keeping
down the urges.
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00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:39,505
Oh, come on, Luann.
You know what this is.
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00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,758
Kirk, I don't know
what it is.
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Ah, it could not be
more simple, Luann.
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Do you want me to show
this to the cat
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and have the cat
tell you what it is?
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'Cause the cat's
going to get it.
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I'm sorry I'm not
as smart as you, Kirk.
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We didn't all
go to Gudger college.
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It's "Dignity!" Gahh!
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Don't you even know
dignity when you see it?
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Kirk, you're spitting.
122
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Okay, genius,
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why don't you draw dignity?
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Oh, that's dignity all right.
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Worthy of Webster's.
126
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,335
It's no wonder
I can't draw dignity.
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I gave it up
when I married her.
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00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,506
Now, Kirk,
it's only a game.
129
00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:22,965
Sometimes, we…
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Aw, cram it, churchy!
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Maybe we should all have
a few drinks.
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I'd have a drink,
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but it might
loosen my tongue.
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You want to talk?
Go ahead, Luann, talk.
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00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,976
Why don't you
tell them
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one of your little
bedtime stories, huh?
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Like the one about
how rotten it is
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to be married
to a loser.
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Or how about
the one about
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how I carry a change purse?
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Yeah, a purse!
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Shut up and let the woman talk.
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Okay, Kirk,
I'll tell a story.
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It's about a man
whose father-in-law
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gave him a sweet job as
manager of a cracker factory.
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Boring.
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00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,956
A man whose complete lack
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of business sense
and managerial impotence…
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Ooh, here we go.
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…sent the number-one
cracker factory in town
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00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:04,006
into a tie for sixth with
Tabletime and Allied Biscuit.
152
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,134
You want to hear
a secret, everybody?
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Luann loves it…
Loves it…
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When I fail.
155
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,390
Oh, yes, Kirk, I love having to
borrow money from my sister.
156
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I love having to steal clothes
from the church donation box.
157
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Oh, sweet Jesus.
158
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,774
Lisa, why don't you
come sing for us?
159
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,151
* You're a grand old flag… *
160
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Oh, great.
You got the kid singing.
161
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I hope you're happy now.
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00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,156
I am not happy
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and I haven't been happy
for a long time.
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I want a divorce!
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A… divorce?
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Sure. Divorce.
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Hey, you got it,
toots
168
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and here's a picture
even you can figure out.
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00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:50,136
It's a door! Use it!
170
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,554
That's a door?
171
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Hello, I'm Doctor Hibbert.
172
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I'm afraid I'm going to have
to amputate your butt.
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All right,
if you think you must.
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00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,819
Come on, Milhouse,
we are going.
175
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,738
Aw, can't I come home later?
176
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,072
There's not going to be
a home later.
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00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,491
Oh, okay.
178
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:15,453
Ta-ta, I'm off
to the beauty salon.
179
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Good night.
180
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Thanks for coming.
181
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,123
We'll see you.
182
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Bye-bye.
183
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,835
Well, I think that
went pretty well.
184
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,051
What?
185
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,598
I feel terrible.
186
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,476
The Van Houtens
split up at our party.
187
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:39,644
Marge, please.
188
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That was 20 minutes ago.
189
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I shouldn't have served
190
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those North Korean
fortune cookies.
191
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They were so insulting:
"You are a coward."
192
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,904
No one likes to hear that
after a nice meal.
193
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:51,989
You can't keep
blaming yourself.
194
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,784
Just blame yourself
once and move on.
195
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,161
You know who the real
victim is in all of this…
196
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,412
Milhouse.
197
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,336
Hey, Van Houten,
I heard your folks broke up.
198
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:08,214
Aren't you going
to say, "Ha-ha"?
199
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,840
Oh, by no means.
200
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,342
My dad left my mom
201
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,262
after she got hooked
on cough drops.
202
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:17,139
By the end,
her breath was so fresh…
203
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,850
she wasn't really
my mother anymore.
204
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,018
Oh.
205
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,521
So I guess
I'm not alone.
206
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,106
Ah, you'll do fine.
207
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,316
My divorce was tough on my kid
208
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,401
but he got over it.
209
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,528
I sleep in a drawer.
210
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,407
* I dig the nightlife *
211
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,450
* Got the boogie… *
212
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,752
I must say, Luann,
you're really
213
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,214
handling this
splendidly.
214
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:53,259
From now on, forget everything
you thought you knew
215
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,511
about Luann Van Houten.
216
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,762
Actually, Luann,
I don't really
217
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:57,888
know anything
about you.
218
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,640
Forget it.
She's gone.
219
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,392
Presto-chango!
220
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,602
Kaboom!
221
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,312
Sweet Fanny Adams!
222
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,438
Bye-bye!
223
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,400
Singles life
is great, homer.
224
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,402
I can do whatever I want.
225
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,779
Today I drank a beer
in the bathroom.
226
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,197
The one down the hall.
227
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,325
Yeah. And another great thing:
228
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,743
you get your own bed.
229
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,579
I sleep in a racing car.
Do you?
230
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,748
I sleep in a big bed
with my wife.
231
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,750
Oh. Yeah.
232
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,005
Hey, there, Kirk.
233
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,923
Oh, boy, what's going on?
234
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,258
Patio party?
235
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,010
No. A possum drowned
in the pool.
236
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,678
You have any garbage bags?
237
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,847
Uh, just throw it
over the fence.
238
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,182
Let Arby's worry about it.
239
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:42,808
That's Jerry.
240
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,353
He's a major player
down at the sewing store.
241
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,313
Well, thanks
for introducing me.
242
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:48,439
Oh, don't worry, Homer.
243
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:49,857
You know me
244
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,985
and I'm a superstar
at the cracker factory.
245
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,488
You're letting me go?!
246
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,115
Kirk, crackers
are a family food.
247
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,659
Happy families.
248
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,703
Maybe single people
eat crackers; we don't know.
249
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,997
Frankly, we don't
want to know.
250
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,457
It's a market
we could do without.
251
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:07,917
So that's it…
After 20 years
252
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,251
so long, good luck?
253
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,670
I don't recall
saying good luck.
254
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:17,593
And the winner
of the Milhouse 500 is…
255
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,346
Milhouse!
256
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:21,681
Milhouse, are you sure
257
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,599
you want
to drive that inside?
258
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,850
Yes.
259
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,769
Okay. Be careful,
sweet, sweet treasure.
260
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,774
God, I missed you, Lu-Lu.
261
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,193
Chase…
262
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,612
It's only been three hours.
263
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,863
Who's Chase?
264
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,907
Oh. That's mom's
new boyfriend.
265
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,827
Hey, I know you
from American Gladiators.
266
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,120
You're Pyro!
267
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,788
Only on weekends.
268
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,331
During the week
269
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,125
I'm just your average
work-a-day stuntman.
270
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,208
Really?
271
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,503
Go ahead.
Break a chair on me.
272
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,840
Wow! Thanks.
273
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:57,675
Okay, boys,
I got to go.
274
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,468
Come on, Lu-Lu,
let's roll.
275
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,818
Ow! Gee. Ow!
276
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,695
What the hell
is wrong with you?!
277
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,697
Geez, sor-ry.
278
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,699
It's a pretty standard
stunt, Homer.
279
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,576
Homer, get ready!
280
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:24,702
For what?
281
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,495
Remember?
Luann and Chase
282
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,914
are taking us out
to hear Spalding Gray.
283
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,833
I don't want to go to that.
284
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:33,043
You said you'd do it
as a favor to me.
285
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:35,880
That doesn't sound
like something I'd say.
286
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,131
Fine. I'll go
without you.
287
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,758
Okay. Love ya.
288
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,766
Homer, I want you to meet
my new special lady.
289
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,059
Say hello to Starla.
290
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,522
Can I have the keys
to the car, lover?
291
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,858
I feel like
changing wigs.
292
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:58,486
Okay.
293
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:02,281
Starla's a temp
at K-ZOG radio 530.
294
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,700
She's going to help me
launch my singing career.
295
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:06,951
My car!
296
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,750
Oh, my demo tape!
297
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,338
"Can I Borrow a Feeling?"
298
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:22,384
"Can I Borrow a Feeling?"
299
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:26,222
That's your picture
on the front.
300
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,973
Go ahead, Homer,
laugh at me.
301
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,391
I already did.
302
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,478
You know why
all this happened, don't you?
303
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,772
'Cause I took
my marriage for granted.
304
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,357
You know, in 12 years
305
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,567
I never once helped out
with the housework?
306
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,319
Oh, yeah,
you got to do that.
307
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,363
I could've at least
stayed in shape for her.
308
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:43,781
Oh, and for yourself.
309
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,491
I could've taken
just a little time
310
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,660
to make her feel special.
311
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,995
It can't just be sex.
It can't.
312
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,248
God, I was so self-centered.
313
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,999
No wonder
I didn't see it coming.
314
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,876
That's how it is, though.
315
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,420
One day your wife is
making you your favorite meal
316
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,756
the next day
you're thawing a hot dog
317
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,550
in a gas station sink.
318
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,844
Oh, that's tough, pal.
319
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,804
But it's never going
to happen to me.
320
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,264
Well, how do you know?
321
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,474
What makes you guys so special?
322
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,101
'Cause Marge and I
have one thing
323
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,853
that can never be broken:
324
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:19,024
A strong marriage built on
a solid foundation of routine.
325
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,901
Marge, I'm home.
326
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,069
Where are you?
327
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,029
Are you okay?
328
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,656
I don't smell dinner.
329
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,117
"Dear Homer…"
Aw.
330
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,911
"Sorry you didn't want
to join me tonight.
331
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,038
"I left you hot dogs
for dinner.
332
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,790
They're thawing in the sink."
333
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,678
Hi, Dad.
334
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,638
You know, there's
buns in the cabinet.
335
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:50,890
Lisa, wait.
336
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,474
I know you're only
eight years old
337
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,351
and I don't want to put
a lot of pressure on you
338
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,478
but you've got
to save my marriage.
339
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,899
Oh. Okay.
Can I stay up?
340
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,400
Mmm… all right.
341
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,696
As you know,
there's been
342
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,573
a lot of talk
about divorce lately
343
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:10,284
and I think your mom
might not be happy with me.
344
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,161
You've done a lot of crazy stuff
over the years
345
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,329
and she stood by you.
346
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,122
Why would she
leave you now?
347
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,666
'Cause there's lots of stuff
she doesn't know about.
348
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,752
You mean, like your poker shack
out in the swamp?
349
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:20,821
Mm-hmm.
350
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:21,879
She knows.
351
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,380
Oh, I knew this would happen.
352
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,342
Our whole marriage started off
on the wrong foot.
353
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:29,511
Dearly beloved, we are gathered
354
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,764
in the sight of God
and this casino to join…
355
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:32,833
Homer.
356
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,516
- And…
- Marge.
357
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,101
In holy matrimony.
358
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,395
By the power vested in me
by the state gaming commission
359
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,356
I pronounce you
man and wife.
360
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,607
Here's ten dollars
worth of chips.
361
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,359
You may kiss the bride.
362
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:44,442
Mm…
363
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,575
See?
364
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,410
You don't have to spend
a lot of money
365
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,579
to have a first-class
wedding reception.
366
00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,959
It's getting less
and less likely
367
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,211
you're going
to yell "Surprise"
368
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,129
and have all my
friends jump out.
369
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,631
"Levi's."
370
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:08,050
Hey, you think that truck
is full of jeans?
371
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,555
You're very lucky
to have mom.
372
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,520
That's your advice?
Go to bed.
373
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,442
Good morning.
374
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:26,819
You know, Marge,
I was thinking
375
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,571
about how much I enjoy
your interests
376
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,948
so I wandered over
377
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,200
to that theater
you went to last night
378
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:36,161
and I bought tickets
to their entire season.
379
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,456
Look, Mostly Madrigal.
380
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,834
Hey, that might be good.
381
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:45,004
Oh, oh, An Evening
with Philip Glass.
382
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,463
Just an evening?
383
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:51,510
Voices of
the Elderly Poor. Hmm…
384
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:55,222
Homey, I appreciate this
385
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:57,850
but I'd really like
to get some sleep.
386
00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,393
Oh, of course, my sweet.
387
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:02,062
I'll just make some
soothing ocean sounds for you.
388
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,785
Arr, matey.
389
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,465
Armando, don't you think
you're taking a lot off…
390
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,342
Homer, what are you doing?
391
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:35,804
I wanted to surprise you
with a kicky summer do.
392
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,723
How many husbands would
do that for their wives?
393
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,059
None… They'd have
more sense than that.
394
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,311
Ooh… you're feisty.
395
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,396
I'm going to give
you a Madonna cut.
396
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,773
Mmm! Homer
397
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,525
I don't need you around me
24 hours a day.
398
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,595
I'm a grown woman.
399
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,445
I can take care of myself.
400
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:54,031
Now will you please
just go away?
401
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:59,703
Oh… I just
made things worse.
402
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,997
A few clumsy gestures
aren't going to make up
403
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,582
for ten years of neglect.
404
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:07,628
Marge deserves someone
who will treat her right.
405
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,047
Marge deserves a fresh start.
406
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,595
I'd like to file for…
407
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,055
divorce.
408
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:23,060
These things happen.
Eight dollars.
409
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,687
Only three cavities, Bart.
410
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,397
Your best checkup ever.
411
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,399
I'm going to make
you my specialty…
412
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,567
Butterscotch chicken.
413
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,777
Marge?
414
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,529
Can you
come in here?
415
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,531
We need to talk.
416
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,664
Surprise!
417
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:47,792
Surprise.
418
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,131
Marge, will you
marry me?
419
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,174
Why, am I pregnant?
420
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,342
No.
421
00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,678
It's a second wedding, honey.
422
00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,639
Our first one was so crummy,
I had to make it up to you.
423
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,724
I really love you.
424
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,601
Oh, Homey.
425
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,103
I know you love me.
426
00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,896
We don't need
to get married again.
427
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,189
Yes, we do.
428
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,150
I got us a divorce
this afternoon.
429
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,609
What?!
430
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,570
I didn't want
a hokey second wedding
431
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,446
like those ones on TV.
432
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:17,739
This one is for real.
433
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,616
I want our marriage
to be perfect
434
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:20,909
right from the start
435
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,287
so we don't end up
like Kirk and Luann.
436
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:25,122
We never will.
437
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,069
Dearly beloved…
438
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,502
Wait.
439
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,172
I want one last chance
to enjoy single life.
440
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:36,702
Okay, ready.
441
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,703
I will now
442
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,636
read these special vows
443
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,098
which Homer has prepared
for this occasion.
444
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,850
"Do you, Marge, take Homer
445
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:48,770
in richness and in poorness,"
"Poorness" is underlined…
446
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:52,024
"In impotence and in potence
447
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,650
"In quiet solitude
448
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,403
"Or blasting across
the Alkali Flats
449
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:59,406
in a jet-powered,
monkey-navigated…"
450
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:00,741
And it goes on like this.
451
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:02,451
It doesn't matter.
452
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,203
All I want to know is
453
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,623
will you make me the luckiest guy
in the world…
454
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:08,957
again?
455
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,959
I will.
456
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,379
Oh, Homey,
of course I will.
457
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,423
Come on, you stupid…
458
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,010
By the power vested in me
459
00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:23,555
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
460
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,686
It's the most
perfect wedding
461
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,480
I could ever ask for.
462
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:34,066
You've even got a hip
rock 'n' roll combo.
463
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,860
Okay, everybody,
who likes the Doobie Brothers?
464
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,446
'Cause we've got one of them.
465
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,365
♪♪
466
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,245
What a wonderful evening.
467
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:50,249
A magical way for two people
to renew their love.
468
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,252
Marge is right.
469
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:56,463
I-I've got something
I'd like to say.
470
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,590
Would you guys do a favor
for a guy in love?
471
00:20:58,674 --> 00:20:59,841
- Sure.
- Yeah.
472
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,677
That's why
we're here.
473
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,011
Hi, everybody.
474
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,263
Hi.
475
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,931
And hit it!
476
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,768
♪♪
477
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:17,442
* Can I borrow a feeling? *
478
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:21,530
* Could you lend me
a jar of love? *
479
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:25,325
* Hurtin' hearts
need some healing *
480
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:30,205
* Take my hand with
your glove of love *
481
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,791
♪♪
482
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,670
How about it, Luann?
483
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:38,714
Will you marry me… again?
484
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,173
Ooh, no.
485
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,243
Ohh…
486
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:42,592
Well…
487
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,553
Uh, can I have my
shirts back, at least?
488
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,054
Okay, you heard the lady.
489
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,597
Why don't you take
it outside, all right?
490
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:50,183
Uh, I'll be back.
491
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,312
Prob-probably.
492
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,023
♪♪
493
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,945
♪♪
494
00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:46,573
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.