1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,172 * The Simpsons * 2 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:10,927 D'oh! 3 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,319 Live from Springfield Penitentiary's 4 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:31,698 fabulous big open area in cell block "D" 5 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:35,201 it's the Krusty The Clown Prison Special. 6 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,874 * I slugged some jerk in Tahoe * 7 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:43,251 * They gave me one to three * 8 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,128 * My high-priced lawyer sprung me * 9 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,380 * On a technicality * 10 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,883 * I'm just visiting Springfield Prison * 11 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:53,720 * I get to sleep at home tonight * 12 00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:57,932 Hey, hey, I kid. 13 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,851 I kid 'cause I love. 14 00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,854 I tell you, the best folk in the world 15 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,022 are prison folk. 16 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,984 Man, those cons love Krusty. 17 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,360 Inside every hardened criminal 18 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:10,987 beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. 19 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,739 And vice versa. 20 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,575 Just remember, Bart, convicts aren't cool. 21 00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:17,035 They're bad people. 22 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,370 Yeah, maybe so, but they get the job done. 23 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:23,374 Hey! Now I know where my tax dollars are going. 24 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,752 Huh? 25 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:28,671 Hey, hey, it's my old TV sidekick 26 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,048 Sideshow Bob. 27 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,217 Why, I haven't seen you in years. 28 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,885 What have you been doing with yourself, Bob? 29 00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:36,346 Well, Krusty, as you may remember, 30 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,014 after I tried to frame you for armed robbery, 31 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,308 I tried to murder Selma Bouvier. 32 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,811 Let's see… I rigged the mayoral elections, 33 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,563 I tried to blow up Springfield with a nuclear device, 34 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,940 and I tried to kill you. 35 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,566 Oh, yeah, yeah. 36 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,026 And whenever I could find a spare moment, 37 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,611 I've tried to murder. 38 00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:52,737 Bart Simpson. 39 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,953 He said, "tried." 40 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,036 Someone should really go up there 41 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,957 and talk to him. 42 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,167 Whew. 43 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,961 Homer! 44 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:12,215 Oh, all those stairs… 45 00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:15,969 Oh, you have nothing to worry about, honey. 46 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,428 Your mother's right, Bart. 47 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,389 Sure, you're the one who ruined 48 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,724 all of Sideshow Bob's criminal schemes… 49 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,601 We're very proud of you, by the way. 50 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:26,980 And sure, he's probably so insane with rage 51 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,315 that he'd butcher you horribly if he could. 52 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,734 But he's safely locked away. 53 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,570 In a medium-security prison. 54 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,779 - For life. - Unless he gets out somehow. 55 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:35,947 Which is impossible. 56 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,615 Or so you think, 57 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,784 except he's done it so many times before. 58 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,202 Thanks for trying, guys, 59 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,496 but Sideshow Bob wants me dead, 60 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,789 and Sideshow Bob 61 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,667 is an unstoppable killing machine. 62 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,210 * I once * 63 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,046 * Was lost * 64 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,425 * But now am found * 65 00:02:55,508 --> 00:03:01,181 * Was blind but now I see * 66 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,268 Well, that was lovely, Robert. 67 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:08,813 You other cons could benefit from his shining example. 68 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,358 Now, really, Reverend, 69 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,402 your praise is going to get me beaten up. 70 00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,154 Oh, I'm sorry, Bob, 71 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:18,823 but your transformation is truly inspiring. 72 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,158 Yes. 73 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,869 I'm a good, good man. 74 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,496 You know, it's hard to believe this model prisoner 75 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,873 could be the same monstrous fiend 76 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,875 who once ran for mayor. 77 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,044 It's a pleasure to have recommended you 78 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,837 for the work-release program. 79 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,882 Me? I'm touched. I really am. 80 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,009 But you'll never find anyone willing to hire 81 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,345 a five-time loser like me. 82 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,013 I already have. 83 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,645 Cecil? 84 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,104 Is it really you? 85 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,397 Hello, brother. 86 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,565 I'm happy to see you. 87 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,027 But it's been ten years. 88 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,780 We haven't spoken since the… 89 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,073 unpleasantness. 90 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,407 You mean Arthur Fiedler's wake? 91 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,035 No, no, no. I mean our falling out. 92 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,104 Oh, that. 93 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,996 That's ancient history. 94 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,456 Let's make a fresh start. 95 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:09,832 Come work for me. 96 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,043 But this is wonderful. 97 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:14,295 You do know I used to have a… 98 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,924 problem with trying to kill people? 99 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,968 Goodness, I had no idea. 100 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,178 For, you see, I have been on Mars for the last decade 101 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,890 in a cave with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears. 102 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,308 Touché, Cecil. 103 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,310 I'm aware of your felonious past, 104 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,437 but you are still my brother, 105 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,731 and blood is thicker than bread and water. 106 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,984 You don't have to worry about me, brother. 107 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,944 I'm all murdered out. 108 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,570 Praise the Lord. 109 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,167 Get back in there! Get back in there! 110 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:56,504 How can you even think of releasing Sideshow Bob? 111 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,673 He's just faking it to get out of jail. 112 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:00,133 He's a maniac! 113 00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,968 Bob is no maniac. 114 00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:05,138 He explained his reasons for trying to kill us all. 115 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,849 And I assure you, they were perfectly sane. 116 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,600 Oh, you gotta be kidding! 117 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,853 My friends, please. 118 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,314 I make no secret of my past. 119 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,357 But isn't our system of justice 120 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,027 based on the idea that a man can change? 121 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,737 Have the boys check into that. 122 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,196 I know I don't deserve another chance, 123 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,198 but this is America. 124 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:27,201 And as an American, aren't I entitled to one? 125 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,286 Probably! 126 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,121 Can't you find it in your hearts 127 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,999 just to let me live and work in peace? 128 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,220 Don't you see what you've done? 129 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,014 Sideshow Bob hasn't reformed. 130 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:49,474 He's pure evil! 131 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,934 Oh, if only you knew what he was thinking. 132 00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,860 I hope they still make that shampoo I like. 133 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,829 Now, make yourself at home. 134 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,748 Perhaps a glass of Bordeaux? 135 00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,208 I have the '82 Chateau Latour 136 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,835 and a rather indifferent Rausan-Segla. 137 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,629 I've been in prison, Cecil. 138 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,297 I'll be happy just as long as it doesn't taste 139 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,883 like orange drink fermented under a radiator. 140 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,594 That would be the Latour, then. 141 00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:30,598 And God bless Mom and Dad and Lisa and Maggie 142 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:33,142 and, please, God, kill Sideshow Bob. 143 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,352 Bart, no! 144 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:35,686 It's him or me, o, Lord. 145 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,105 Ow! 146 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,732 You can't ask God to kill someone. 147 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,485 Yeah! You do your own dirty work. 148 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,451 Well, I suppose I should ask you what you do 149 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,953 if I'm to be working with you. 150 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,122 For me, Bob. For me. 151 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,873 I am Springfield's 152 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,292 chief hydrological and hydrodynamical engineer. 153 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,253 Hydrological and hydrodynamical… 154 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,255 talk about running the gamut. 155 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,048 Snigger all you like, Bob. 156 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,967 Thank you. I believe I shall. 157 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,969 But you'll find one gets more respect 158 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:10,721 as a humble civil servant than as a homicidal maniac 159 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,056 or a clown's sidekick. 160 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,517 Aha! I knew it. 161 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,103 You're still angry that Krusty picked me instead of you. 162 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,438 I can't imagine what you mean. 163 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,440 Oh, come now. 164 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:23,151 You wanted to be Krusty 's sidekick since you were five! 165 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:27,989 What about the buffoon lessons, the four years at clown college? 166 00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:30,324 I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way. 167 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,285 The point is you obviously still blame me 168 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,203 for what happened at your audition. 169 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,587 Thanks for driving me, big brother. 170 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,964 These giant clown mitts are extremely hilarious, 171 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,008 but do make it difficult to shift gears. 172 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,010 That's the title of Erma Bombeck's latest, isn't it? 173 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,470 Number 73! 174 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,597 You're next. Make with the laugh-laugh. 175 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,684 Hey, children. 176 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,437 Meet me, Sideshow Cecil. 177 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,606 Next. 178 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,192 Uh, I have prepared a pie-in-the-face take. 179 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,820 All right. Knock yourself out, kid. 180 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:08,904 Hal? 181 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,116 Ooh. 182 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,951 Free comedy tip, slick: 183 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:17,622 The pie gag's only funny when the sap's got dignity, 184 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,373 like that guy. 185 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:22,210 Hey, Hal, pie job for Lord Autumnbottom there. 186 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,490 Oh, dear. 187 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,303 That guy's a genius! 188 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:33,596 He's gonna change the way 189 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,765 we think about getting hit by pies! 190 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,226 Chumley, you're hired. 191 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,313 When that pie hit your face, 192 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:45,900 I saw my dreams explode in a burst of cream and crust. 193 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,360 But I suppose I should thank you. 194 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,612 After all, it led me to my true calling. 195 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,490 Cecil, no civilization in history 196 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,617 has ever considered chief hydrological engineer 197 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,118 a calling. 198 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,830 Yes, yes. The Cappadocians. 199 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,165 Fine. 200 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,627 There it is… the future site 201 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,630 of the Springfield hydroelectric dam. 202 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,966 Just the thought of all that raw, surging power 203 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,634 makes me wonder why the hell I should care. 204 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,845 Because you'll be supervising the construction crew. 205 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:15,972 Oh, great. 206 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,557 Whenever a woman passes by, 207 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,100 I suppose it will be my job to lead the hooting. 208 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,852 "Oh, yeah! Shake it, madam. 209 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,020 Capital knockers!" 210 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,647 Come on, Bob. 211 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,399 This is your chance to show the people of Springfield 212 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,734 you can hold down an honest job. 213 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,028 He's planning something evil… I know it. 214 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,614 It must have something to do with the town's water supply. 215 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,449 Maybe he's gonna pee in the river! 216 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,743 Mmm. Nah. That's not his style. 217 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,247 Who is that? 218 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,249 Why… 219 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:44,834 it's Bart Simpson! 220 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,587 Hello, Bart! 221 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,172 He's just a little shy because I've tried to kill him so many times. 222 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,256 Oh. 223 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,010 I really must thank you 224 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,679 for this moment of tranquility, Edna. 225 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,806 You know, I haven't been on a date in six years. 226 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,725 Oh, the pleasure's mine, Bob. 227 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,060 It's so exciting to be dating a killer. 228 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:06,314 To be fair, I never successfully killed anyone. 229 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,566 Oh. I see. 230 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:15,281 I did once try to kill the world's greatest lover, 231 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:19,076 but then, I realized there are laws against suicide. 232 00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:23,456 - You get my drift? - Oh, you. 233 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:26,500 Mrs. Krabappel, no! That's Sideshow Bob! 234 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,377 Well, that's the last time 235 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,796 I announce my dinner plans in class. 236 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,008 That was Edna Krabappel. 237 00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:37,637 You only get one chance with Edna Krabappel. 238 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,388 I hope you're happy. 239 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,556 I won't be happy until I find out 240 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,891 what you're up to. 241 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,101 Wherever you go and whatever you do, 242 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,854 I'll be there watching and waiting. 243 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,899 He says that, but I bet he gives up pretty quickly. 244 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,988 Hello, brother. All's well, I trust? 245 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,366 It most certainly is not! 246 00:10:58,449 --> 00:10:59,700 The workmen you've given me don't know their asses 247 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:00,993 from the hole in the ground 248 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,328 they accidentally blew yesterday. 249 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,205 Come now, you speak as if they were a gaggle 250 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:06,165 of slack-jawed yokels. 251 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,334 Mr. Terwilliger, come quick! 252 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,754 There's trouble down to the "see-ment" mixer, sir! 253 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,839 See, cousin Merl and me 254 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,133 was playin' fetch with Geech… 255 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,469 that's our old smellhound… and… 256 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,764 Geech gone to heaven, Mr. Terwilliger. 257 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,934 Oh, cousin Merl, really! 258 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,560 Temper, temper. 259 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,646 You know cousin Merl ain't been quite right lately. 260 00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:29,980 I'm telling you, Cecil, 261 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,524 I can't take much more of this… 262 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,484 rustic workmen who've turned the Sanijohn 263 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,027 into a smokehouse… 264 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:38,823 coveralls that don't quite cover all… 265 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,366 and a psychotic little boy 266 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,909 who will not stop hounding me! 267 00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,911 This little boy right here. 268 00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,706 Sometimes, I wish this dam would burst 269 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,542 and bury this cursed town. 270 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,756 Hey, you said we were going to Dairy Queen. 271 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,551 I lied. Now, help me rummage through Bob's trash for clues. 272 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:01,178 Then, I promise we'll go to the water slide. 273 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,388 Okay. 274 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:08,602 You again! 275 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,438 Well, that's it. 276 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:14,734 I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago. 277 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:21,157 Madam, your children are no more… 278 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,202 than a pair of ill-bred troublemakers. 279 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,454 Lisa, too? 280 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:27,705 Especially Lisa. 281 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:30,708 But especially Bart. 282 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:34,545 If he crosses me one more time, just once more… 283 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:37,006 Well, I can't be held responsible for my actions. 284 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,257 Well, I hope Bob fed you 285 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,925 'cause I ate your dinners. 286 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,720 I know it's hard to accept, Bart, but face it… 287 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,306 Sideshow Bob has changed. 288 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,724 No, he hasn't. 289 00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,100 He's more the same than ever, 290 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,227 and I know where the evidence is. 291 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,521 There's only one place it could possibly be. 292 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,356 Bob's trailer at the construction site? 293 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,233 That's even better. Let's go there. 294 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,568 What were you thinking? 295 00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,236 The haunted mine. 296 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,913 Blueprints… concrete invoices… 297 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,790 construction schedules… 298 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,166 If I didn't know better, 299 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,793 I'd swear Bob was building a dam. 300 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,211 Oh, yeah? 301 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,421 Then explain this. 302 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,967 Bart! There must be millions of dollars there! 303 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,345 What is Sideshow Bob doing with… 304 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,314 Who left the lights on? 305 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,484 Who's in here? Cletus? Cousin Merl? 306 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,902 Big Hungry Joe? 307 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:45,699 I think he may have spotted us. 308 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:46,867 Run! 309 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,786 You two. 310 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,997 Be careful. 311 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,833 There's hydroelectricity in there. 312 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,670 Whoops. 313 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,934 Will you children stop tormenting me? 314 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,853 I've done nothing wrong. 315 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,021 Give it up, Bob. We found the money. 316 00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:18,983 Where did that come from? 317 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,110 I've never seen that money before in my life. 318 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,028 Then you must have had your eyes closed 319 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,572 when you embezzled it. 320 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,908 I told you, I'm not a criminal anymore. 321 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,618 You want to know what I've been up to? 322 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,871 Here's a clue for you, Jack. 323 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:35,875 100,000 tons of reinforced concrete. 324 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,840 My God, it's completely hollow. 325 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,341 What happened to all the concrete? 326 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,260 You cut back on building materials 327 00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:48,178 and kept all the money for yourself. 328 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,248 That's what happened. 329 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,347 Get him, Lis. 330 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,434 But I wasn't in charge of the money. 331 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,060 Cecil was. 332 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,062 Now, let's stop bickering and get out of here. 333 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,939 This dam could collapse at any minute. 334 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:02,735 One minute past sunrise, to be precise. 335 00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:03,819 Cecil? 336 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,279 Once I blow up the dam 337 00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,156 there will be no evidence of missing concrete 338 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:10,117 and I walk away with 15 million. 339 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,202 But everyone will know you did this. 340 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,079 Perhaps… 341 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,206 or perhaps they'll blame the master criminal. 342 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,834 You know, the one who's been working at the dam 343 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,086 and has a grudge against Springfield. 344 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,631 I know cousin Merl has had his troubles with the revenuers 345 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,049 but he's hardly a master crim… 346 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,800 Oh. You're referring to me. 347 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,761 Yes. I'm framing you, 348 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,721 and I'm doing a really excellent job, too. 349 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,431 Wait a minute. 350 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,642 This is all because I got to be Krusty's sidekick 351 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:35,935 instead of you, isn't it? 352 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,394 Off the record, yes, 353 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,563 but officially, I did it for the money. 354 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,023 Speaking of which hand it over. 355 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,780 Ta. 356 00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,992 I forgot to mention, 357 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,953 I'm planning to blow up the dam with you inside. 358 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,330 Well, obviously. 359 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,877 Oh, it's hopeless… utterly, utterly hopeless. 360 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,837 Oh, I see. 361 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,006 When it's one of my schemes, you can't foil it fast enough, 362 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,342 but when Cecil tries to kill you, 363 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,053 "It's hopeless… utterly, utterly hopeless." 364 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,179 Well, if you kids aren't going to foil him, 365 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:13,597 I'll have to do it myself. 366 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,399 Come on, quickly now. 367 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,652 Bart, for once, I'm not trying to kill you. 368 00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,028 I know it's an awkward situation, 369 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,488 and I don't like it any more than you do, 370 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,031 but you've got to trust me. 371 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,827 Ah, what the hell. 372 00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,606 Let's go again. Let's go again. 373 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:05,690 No! 374 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:06,900 Come on, children. 375 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,610 Let's go thwart my brother. 376 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,699 * I'm on the top of the world * 377 00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,743 * Looking down on creation * 378 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,537 * And the only explanation I can find * 379 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,620 * Boo-boo-boo * 380 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,088 Um, do you know what you're doing? 381 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,382 Lisa, you don't spend ten years 382 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,134 as a homicidal maniac without learning 383 00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,427 a few things about dynamite. 384 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,555 Plunger? Check. 385 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,348 Hard hat? Check. 386 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,892 $15 million and a gun? 387 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,477 Checkmate. 388 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,479 Good-bye, Bob. 389 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,231 No! 390 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,357 Guess who? 391 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,234 Maris? 392 00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:57,659 Shoot. 393 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,538 Bob, look. 394 00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:08,837 At last, I'm going to do what Bob never could… 395 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,465 kill Bart Simpson. 396 00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:13,175 By throwing me off a dam? 397 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,261 Isn't that a little crude for a genius like you? 398 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,305 Ooh, I suppose it is. 399 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,432 If anyone asks, I'll lie. 400 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,853 Bart! 401 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,779 Bart! 402 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:42,079 Cecil… 403 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,914 And now, to kill you. 404 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,874 There may be a slight ringing in your ears. 405 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,669 Fortunately, you'll be nowhere near them. 406 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:51,672 I guess this is it. Thanks, anyway. 407 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,632 You know, I could snip the wires. 408 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,802 We'd fall to our deaths, but we'd save the entire town. 409 00:18:56,885 --> 00:19:00,430 Bart, how would you like to do something incredibly noble? 410 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,141 Do we have to? 411 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,851 Yes. 412 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,747 You… You saved my life, Bart. 413 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,541 Yeah. 414 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:30,043 I guess this means you can't ever try to kill me again, huh? 415 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,379 Oh, I don't know about that. 416 00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:34,631 Joking. Joking. 417 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:45,225 You've brought shame to this family, Cecil. 418 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,894 Oh, I don't relish having to write 419 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,645 the Christmas letter this year. 420 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,314 Nor I to read it. 421 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,773 You know, Bob, all this time 422 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,442 I thought you were a bungler, 423 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,195 but destroying the city is far tougher than I thought. 424 00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,115 Here's your man, chief. 425 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,950 Cecil? I think not. 426 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,704 This looks like the work of crazy old Sideshow Bob. 427 00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:06,997 No, chief. Bob's innocent. 428 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,081 It's the truth. 429 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,291 The truth, huh? 430 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,792 That sounds like the testimony 431 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,170 of crazy old Lisa Simpson. 432 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,589 Cecil just voluntarily confessed, chief. 433 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,132 That's some good work, Lou. 434 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,425 You'll make sergeant for this. 435 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:20,385 Uh, I already am a sergeant, chief. 436 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,346 Perhaps you are, but I say 437 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,306 Bob goes back to jail. 438 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:27,809 But, surely… I mean, I caught Cecil. 439 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,937 Maybe so, but Lou here says 440 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,020 you were resisting arrest. 441 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,439 No, I didn't, chief. 442 00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,483 Quiet, Lou, or I will bust you down to sergeant 443 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,068 so fast, it'll make your head spin. 444 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,389 Funny, isn't it, Lise? 445 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,530 Those people down there 446 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,449 have no idea how close they came 447 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,284 to complete destruction. 448 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,545 Marge, I'm going to look for the kids. 449 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:06,139 I think I wet my bed. 450 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,310 But you can't do this. 451 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,355 I saved the children's lives! 452 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,190 I'm a hero! 453 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,900 Tell them they'll live to regret this. 454 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:19,903 You'll live to regret this. 455 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,030 Oh, thanks a lot. Now I look crazy. 456 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,950 There they go… 457 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:28,078 two criminal geniuses locked away together. 458 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:30,706 Who knows what diabolical schemes 459 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,291 they might concoct? 460 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,133 You give me… 461 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,385 I'm older. I get the top bunk. 462 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,553 Oh, poppycock. 463 00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,013 I called it at the arraignment. 464 00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,097 Get back. 465 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:53,937 So, when do they bring us the menus? 466 00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:47,824 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.