1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:06,297 * The Simpsons * 2 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,427 D'oh! 3 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,262 Aah! 4 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,224 D'oh! 5 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,413 And now, the thrilling conclusion of… 6 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,207 "Colonel Dracula Joins the Navy!" 7 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,501 - Uh, Colonel? - Blahh! 8 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,838 Hmm? 9 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,591 Lisa, what in the heck are you doing? 10 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,593 Oh, it's for my junior achievers club. 11 00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,762 We're trying to earn money by recycling. 12 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,847 Recycling is useless, Lise. 13 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,099 Once the sun burns out, this planet is doomed. 14 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,060 You're just making sure we spend our last days 15 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,478 using inferior products. 16 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,021 Well, I think it's a great idea. 17 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,900 Mom! Mom! 18 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,277 You're mixing polyethylene with polyurethane. 19 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,780 - Marge! - Well, I'm sorry. 20 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,323 And you have to cut these up first. 21 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,283 Otherwise, animals get caught in them. 22 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,910 Only the stupid ones. 23 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,578 I could still use more paper. 24 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,039 Hey, I know where there's lots of paper. 25 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,421 Dad, you're not supposed to have fun recycling. 26 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,881 This is serious. 27 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,967 Oh, okay. 28 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,806 What a load of garbage. 29 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,850 I'm ecstatic. With the money from this, we're within striking distance 30 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,477 of our trip to Albany! 31 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,774 Super. Now, let's give a big Junior Achievers' 32 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,484 welcome to our guest speaker… 33 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,444 I know he can teach us a lot about business… 34 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,071 Mr. C. Montgomery burns. 35 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,870 I'll keep it short and sweet. 36 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,832 Family, religion, friendship. 37 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,042 These are the three demons you must slay 38 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,710 if you wish to succeed in business. 39 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,796 When opportunity knocks, 40 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,464 you don't want to be driving to the maternity hospital 41 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,008 or sitting in some phony baloney church. 42 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,719 Or synagogue. Questions? 43 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,350 Well, uh, I'm going to take advantage 44 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,018 of this rare opportunity 45 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,354 even if you children aren't interested. 46 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:27,689 Which do you think is more important… 47 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:30,608 hard work or stick-to-itiveness? 48 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,236 - Are there any real questions? - Yes. 49 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,822 Um, does your plant have a recycling program? 50 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,117 Re-cy-cling? 51 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,296 I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that term, 52 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,464 you adorable little ragamuffin. 53 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,300 Hmm. You never heard of recycling? 54 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,759 It means to reuse things 55 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,344 to conserve our natural resources. 56 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,722 Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor. 57 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,016 Well, maybe she should have thought of that 58 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,143 when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys. 59 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,936 Nature started the fight for survival, 60 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,022 and now she wants to quit because she's losing. 61 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,690 Well, I say… hard cheese. 62 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,358 But nature's not our enemy. 63 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,485 Well, surely, you agree we can do without her. 64 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,362 No, I don't agree. 65 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,447 No? 66 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,073 How dare you question Mr. Burns? 67 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,491 I'll handle it, Smithers. 68 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,535 Shut up, little girl. 69 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,413 If I had spent my life listening to dismal Doras like you, 70 00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,916 I wouldn't be worth $200 million today. 71 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,084 But according to your most recent biography, 72 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,961 you only have $100 million today. 73 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,504 I… I… 74 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,967 Um… 75 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,385 Actually, sir, it's… 76 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,221 considerably less than that. 77 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,184 I, um… have to go. 78 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,688 Monty Burns, everybody. 79 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,108 I've called you all here 80 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,152 because I need some honest answers. 81 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,904 What is my current financial situation? 82 00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,322 - Great. - Great. 83 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,115 - I hear great. - All right, well, 84 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,367 let's have a look at my stock portfolio. 85 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,581 Hmm. Confederated Slaveholdings. How's that doing? 86 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,709 It's, uh… uh, steady. 87 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,378 I'm sure all your stocks are doing well, sir. 88 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,047 After all, you chose them. 89 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,716 Well, let's get out the old stock ticker and have a look. 90 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,513 Here's where I stopped checking it last time… 91 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,766 September, 1929… 92 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:29,644 Oh, no… Oh, no. 93 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,771 Oh, no. 94 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,232 Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash? 95 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:37,986 Um, well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born. 96 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,029 Oh, that's your excuse for everything. 97 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,365 I've got to do something to get my money back quickly. 98 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,325 This calls for an aggressive trading strategy. 99 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,452 Good idea, sir. 100 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,788 Take 50% of my money and put it in the blue chips… 101 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,915 Trans-Atlantic Zeppelin, Amalgamated Spats, 102 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,668 Congreves Inflammable Powders, U.S. Hay… 103 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,586 and sink the rest into that up-and-coming 104 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,422 Baltimore Opera Hat company. 105 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,340 That should set things right again, eh, boys? 106 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,758 - Absolutely. - Oh, yes, sir. 107 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,051 Genius. "A" all the way. 108 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,386 Can't go wrong with Congreves. 109 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:12,937 A half-ton of newspaper, and all we get is 75 cents? 110 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,565 That won't even cover the gas I use to go to the store 111 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,442 to buy the twine to tie up the bundles. 112 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:20,778 It sounds like you're working for your car. 113 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:24,115 Simplify, man. 114 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,702 Sorry, kids, the trip to Albany is off, 115 00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,121 and there's to be no more recycling. 116 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,248 But we didn't do that badly. 117 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,834 We collected enough paper to save one whole tree. 118 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,340 Oh, Mommy, help. 119 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,261 Are you saying my money's all gone? 120 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,555 - Mm-hmm. - But… 121 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,390 I made all the right moves, didn't I? 122 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,351 - Oh, yes, sir. - Every move a right one. 123 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,854 I see it all now. 124 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,647 You're just a bunch of yes men. 125 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,191 I was making the wrong moves, 126 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,400 and you were too gutless to tell me. 127 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:00,651 Isn't that right? 128 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,403 - Oh, yes, sir. - Dead on, sir. 129 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,655 Then I'll fix this myself. 130 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,741 Smithers, take out another mortgage on the plant. 131 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,951 Well, the bank has already foreclosed on the plant. 132 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,620 And your house, sir. 133 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:13,915 But… what will I do? 134 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,750 Well, the first thing you'll have to do 135 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,126 is move out of the bank's house. 136 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,546 I'll help you pack. 137 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,348 Go on. Get out of here. 138 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,773 And I'm sure a pro wrestler such as yourself 139 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:41,567 will appreciate all the closet space, Hit Man. 140 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,320 Ooh… 141 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,364 this place has got old-man stink. 142 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:49,325 - Ooh… - Don't listen to him, sir. 143 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,036 You've got an enchanting musk. 144 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,621 And you wouldn't even be the only wrestler 145 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,248 in the neighborhood. 146 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,707 The Shrieking Sheik lives just three doors away. 147 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,378 Hey-hey, I'll take it. 148 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:09,679 Uh, would it be all right if I kept this portrait… 149 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,806 to remind me of better times? 150 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,892 Why would I want a picture of a pitiful pencil-neck geek? 151 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:15,977 Yeah. 152 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,062 Why, indeed. 153 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,781 I'll make sure he forwards your social security check, sir. 154 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,408 Mmm. Excellent. 155 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,164 Homer! You didn't tell me Mr. Burns went broke and lost 156 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,915 the nuclear power plant. 157 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,126 Now, I can't remember every little thing 158 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,003 that happens in my day. 159 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,255 You told me about that candy bar you found three times. 160 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,882 You found a candy bar? 161 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,258 Oh, yes. Gather 'round, my son, 162 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,177 and I shall tell you a tale… 163 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,137 I normally don't laugh at other people's misfortunes, 164 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,973 but on behalf of the recycling community… 165 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,809 Ha! It couldn't have happened to anyone more deserving. 166 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,145 They're not going to close the plant, are they? 167 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,439 No. The bank put Lenny in charge. 168 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,693 Uh… 169 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,778 attention, everybody. 170 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,114 Uh… 171 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,242 Uh… work harder. Bye. 172 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,583 Well, sir, 173 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,126 I have to get to work. 174 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,920 Lenny's a real bear on tardiness. 175 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,296 Are there any chores I can do? 176 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,388 Uh, no, no. 177 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:38,935 Uh, you just stay here and maintain your dignity. 178 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,693 Ah. Here's a chance to earn my keep. 179 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,278 I will go out and get these items 180 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,488 from the food jobber. 181 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,284 Grocery store, please. 182 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,166 I am riding on the bus. 183 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,795 Hey, aren't you that guy everybody hates? 184 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,422 Oh, my, no. I'm Monty Burns. 185 00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:13,511 I'm shopping. 186 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,766 Oh, my. 187 00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,226 I wonder which is the cereal for me? 188 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,188 Um, oh, excuse me. 189 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,440 Could you tell me where I might find the "Burns O's"? 190 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,734 Sorry, pops, they don't put nobodies 191 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,736 on cereal boxes. 192 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:36,033 well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me. 193 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,748 Whoo. Thank you, shoppie. 194 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,333 I ventured in to search for milk 195 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,335 when the door snapped shut behind me. 196 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,255 Yeah, those dairy cases are death traps. 197 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,173 Ketchup. 198 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,883 Catsup. 199 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,094 Ketchup. 200 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,304 Catsup. 201 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,265 Catsup. 202 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,059 Huh. I'm in way over my head. 203 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,020 He's, uh, talking to the ketchup now. 204 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,396 Burns is sure acting nutty. 205 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,273 Maybe going broke and losing his plant 206 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:09,650 destroyed his brain. 207 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,111 Could you come along with us, sir? 208 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,031 Are you here to solve my ketchup problem? 209 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,282 Yes, that's right. 210 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,997 Where are you taking me? 211 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,498 What's happening? 212 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,250 Relax. You've gone off your nut, 213 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,502 so we're stuffing you into an old folks home. 214 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,255 Those, uh, store guys signed the commitment papers. 215 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,923 But… I'm shopping. 216 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,221 Here you go, honey. 217 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,307 That's about all the recycling… 218 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,142 …I can handle today. 219 00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,393 Dad, if you just drink one more, 220 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,312 I'll have a full bag. 221 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:49,357 Oh, but Daddy doesn't feel so good. 222 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,858 Uh… there's got to be 223 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,735 more trash around here somewhere. 224 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,405 Hey, why don't you try the old folks home? 225 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,158 They practically live in their own filth. 226 00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,409 Thanks, Dad. 227 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,161 You're welcome, honey. 228 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:03,913 That's the activity room. 229 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,248 We're not allowed in there. 230 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,543 That's the library. Not allowed in there either. 231 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,837 And don't even think about going in the game room. 232 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,757 Egad, man, how are we supposed to pass the time? 233 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,468 Best bet is to stake yourself out a good spot 234 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,345 at the staring window. 235 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,101 * Don't tell my heart * 236 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,936 * My achy-breaky heart * 237 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:31,148 * I just don't think it understands * 238 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,693 Come on, Mr. Burns, join the fun! 239 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,488 That's the spirit. 240 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:43,744 So, this is how the Monty Burns saga ends. 241 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,955 Oh, if I hadn't surrounded myself 242 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,832 with those spineless yes men… 243 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,209 What do you mean you don't have anything to recycle? 244 00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:52,378 You must have some magazines or newspapers. 245 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:55,214 That voice. That shrill, disagreeable voice. 246 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:56,799 It's her! 247 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,510 Sorry, we're not allowed to read newspapers. 248 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,721 They angry up the blood. 249 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,389 You! The troublemaking girl! 250 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:06,559 My name is Lisa, Mr. Burns. Lisa Simpson. 251 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,602 It doesn't matter, what your name is, you idiot. 252 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,771 What I want to know is, will you help me get my money back? 253 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:14,066 Ha. I'd never help you. You're the worst man in the world. 254 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,569 Yes. That's the kind of moxie I'm looking for! 255 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,821 - You're hired! - No, I'm not! 256 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,365 Sir, I'm so sorry my grocer committed you. 257 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,783 We'll never shop there again. 258 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,118 Not now, Smithers. 259 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,786 I've got an empire to rebuild. 260 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,788 And the person who's going to help me is… 261 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,165 that girl. 262 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,422 - Please. - No. 263 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,555 Please. 264 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,849 No. 265 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,603 - Please. - No. 266 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,903 Sir, we've never met before, but my name is Mr. Burns, 267 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,572 and I want your daughter to help make me rich again. 268 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:02,740 You mean Maggie? 269 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,827 Ah, the baby who shot me. 270 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,413 No, I was referring to your other daughter. 271 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,833 Lisa, you have a guest. 272 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,960 So, uh… 273 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,837 How's life in the gutter? 274 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,715 You again? 275 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,259 I've realized the error of my ways, Lisa. 276 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,136 I need someone with your integrity to help me. 277 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:28,557 Please? Don't refuse this poor old man. 278 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,812 Uh… 279 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,980 well… 280 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,732 if I did agree to help you, you could only earn money 281 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,235 by doing good, socially responsible things. 282 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,862 - Nothing evil. - "Nothing evil." 283 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,865 That's exactly the kind of radical thinking I need. 284 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,909 It's a deal. 285 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,746 See that, boy? 286 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,873 Why aren't you making any business deals? 287 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,042 I'll do it this afternoon. 288 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,423 You mean there are actually people 289 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,592 who will pay good money for garbage? 290 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,219 Not good money, really. 291 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,054 Each can will get you a nickel. 292 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,139 Oh, don't pooh-pooh a nickel, Lisa. 293 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,475 A nickel will buy you a steak and kidney pie, 294 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,977 a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake, 295 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,728 and a newsreel, 296 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,730 with enough change left over to ride the trolley 297 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,608 from Battery Park to the polo grounds. 298 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,151 There's a can. 299 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:26,740 You have to cut these six-pack holders up. 300 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,576 Otherwise, fish get trapped in them. 301 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,994 I see. 302 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:35,040 Ha-ha! 303 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,892 My first dollar. Thanks to you, Lisa 304 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,768 and our hemp-smoking friend. 305 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,146 Shine on, you crazy diamond. 306 00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,524 Sounds like somebody's living in the past. 307 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,943 Contemporize, man. 308 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:06,572 Well, Lisa, as my advisor, you're entitled to 10%. 309 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,199 Oh, I'm not doing this for the money. 310 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,660 I'm just happy knowing that future generations 311 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,537 will enjoy unspoiled median strips 312 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,915 and pristine highway embankments. 313 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,750 There's a can. 314 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,836 And from our "it's funny when it happens to them" file, 315 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,255 remember millionaire C. Montgomery Burns? 316 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,549 The man who blocked out our sun, ran over a local boy, 317 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,344 and stole Christmas from 1981 to 1985? 318 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,305 Well, guess who's flat broke and picking up trash for a living? 319 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,350 Please be Flanders, please be Flanders please be Flanders. 320 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,645 Excuse me, Mr. Burns. Now that you're completely ruined, 321 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,980 - How do you feel? - Excellent. 322 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,607 I'm on my way back to the top. 323 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,902 I've turned these cans into "can do." 324 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,655 Well, you smell terrible. Good luck to you, sir. 325 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,740 Wow, he went from stinking rich 326 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,450 to just plain stinking. 327 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:56,538 - Good one, Mom. - Oh, you're so bad, honey. 328 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,207 You guys shouldn't laugh at him. 329 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,626 Mr. Burns has changed. He's different now. 330 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:03,754 Yeah, he's broke. 331 00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,005 Two in a row. 332 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,891 Oh, you've really turned my life around 333 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,559 these past few weeks, Lisa. 334 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,104 I've got my own business again, my beloved employees. 335 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:22,606 Oh, consarn it… 336 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:26,068 Come on, let's pick up the pace, you neglected old nincompoops. 337 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,820 Mr. Burns, if you want people to do a good job, 338 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,488 you can't bully them. 339 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:30,990 You have to show them they're appreciated. 340 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,242 Ooh, capital idea, partner. 341 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,703 People, if we meet this week's quota, 342 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,371 I'll take you to the most duck-filled pond 343 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,206 you ever sat by. 344 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,874 Oh, hot diggity, that's how they got me 345 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,334 to vote for Lyndon Larouche. 346 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,923 Wow, even I didn't know 347 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,550 he was so committed to recycling. 348 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:53,012 See? I told you Mr. Burns has changed. See? 349 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,139 Lisa, nobody likes a gloater. 350 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,724 - Right, Homey? - Uh-huh. 351 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:57,808 See? 352 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,979 Yes, thank you, everyone. 353 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:04,231 But 10% of your applause should go to 354 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,858 my little partner, Lisa Simpson. 355 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,694 For, if it were not for her infectious moralizing, 356 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,613 we would not be here today to witness the unveiling of… 357 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,366 the Li'l Lisa Recycling Plant. 358 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,495 Oh, ain't that cute? 359 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,248 Makes Little Debbie look like a pile of puke. 360 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,750 Would you like to be the first 361 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,293 to take a tour of the plant, Li'l Lisa? 362 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,588 I'd love to, partner. 363 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,923 The whole plant is environmentally sound. 364 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,092 It's powered by old newspapers. 365 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:35,345 The machinery is made entirely of used cans, and the windows 366 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,432 are from the old liquor bottles we collected. 367 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:41,894 Hey, I thought I told you to stop licking my windows. 368 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,104 I know, you told me… 369 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,273 and when I woke up this morning, I said, 370 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,942 "Barney, you're not going to lick that man's…" 371 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,944 I'm so proud of you, Mr. Burns. 372 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,738 You're getting your fortune back, 373 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,406 and you're doing it without endangering the planet 374 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,533 or cozying up to the Aspen crowd. 375 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,620 Oh, hold your accolades till the end of the tour. 376 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,246 You haven't seen the best part. 377 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,040 I couldn't watch your demonstration 378 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,875 of the fish caught in the plastic rings 379 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,877 without getting an idea. 380 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:07,960 Look out over the water. 381 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,928 I figured if one six-pack holder will catch one fish, 382 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:19,598 a million sewn together will catch a million fish. 383 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:20,724 Watch. 384 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,852 What's going on? 385 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,522 Ah, I call it the "Burns Omni-Net." 386 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,941 it sweeps the sea clean. 387 00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:39,576 Oh, dear God. 388 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,953 I call our product 389 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,955 "Li'l Lisa's Patented Animal Slurry." 390 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,165 it's a high-protein feed for farm animals, 391 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,792 insulation for low-income housing, 392 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,418 a powerful explosive, 393 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,129 and a top-notch engine coolant. 394 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,755 And best of all, 395 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,925 it's made from 100 percent recycled animals. 396 00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:57,177 Oh, I think I'm going to be sick. 397 00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,764 Oh, a spoonful of slurry will cure what ails you. 398 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,225 Ah! You haven't changed at all. 399 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,602 You're still evil, and when you're trying 400 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,479 to be good, you're even more evil. 401 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,565 I don't understand. 402 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,067 Pigs needs food, engines need coolant, 403 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,986 dynamiters need dynamite. 404 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,446 I'm supplying it to them at a tidy profit, 405 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,782 and not a single sea creature was wasted. 406 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,702 You inspired it all, Li'l Lisa. 407 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,960 Stop! Don't recycle! 408 00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,838 It's murder! You're helping Mr. Burns! 409 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,883 But you told us to recycle. 410 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,010 You convinced us it was good. 411 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:41,889 No, it's evil! Please, stop recycling! 412 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:48,812 Stop. You can't mix plastic with paper. 413 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:55,194 Oh! Oh! 414 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:06,246 Oh, I can't get the smell of slurry out of my clothes. 415 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:10,083 I was a fool to help that horrible old man. 416 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,586 I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa. 417 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:14,588 Never help anyone. 418 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,845 Simpson, what are you doing here? 419 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,889 - Why aren't you at work? - I made a bad mistake, 420 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,016 and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. 421 00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,310 But I don't remember what it was, so I'm watching TV. 422 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:30,854 Well, Lenny's reign of terror is over. 423 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,689 Mr. Burns bought the plant back this morning. 424 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,483 - And… - Enough chitchat. I need to see Lisa. 425 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,485 I don't want to talk to you, Mr. Burns. 426 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:38,195 Oh, I think you will. 427 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,323 You see, I just sold the Li'l Lisa Recycling Plant 428 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:44,243 for $120 million. 429 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,661 Congratulations. 430 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,079 Oh, don't congratulate me. 431 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,414 Congratulate Bay State Fish Sticks. 432 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,333 As my advisor, you're entitled 433 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,626 to 10% of the proceeds. 434 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:57,923 Lise, have I told you lately that I love you? 435 00:20:58,006 --> 00:21:02,135 Wow! I've never seen so much money. 436 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:05,097 Oh, but I can't accept that, 437 00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,557 knowing where it came from. 438 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,309 Can I, Mom? 439 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,731 Lisa, you do whatever your conscience tells you. 440 00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,322 No… 441 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,284 Oh, you did the right thing, sweetheart. 442 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,331 Well, that's the first case I've ever seen 443 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:34,668 of a man suffering four simultaneous heart attacks. 444 00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,753 I'm sorry, Dad. 445 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:40,090 It's all right. I understand. 446 00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:43,385 But we really could have used that $12,000. 447 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,720 Um… Dad, 448 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,055 10% of $120 million 449 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,267 isn't 12,000, it's… 450 00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:53,186 Code blue! Code blue! 451 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,194 ♪♪ 452 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:46,782 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.