Hmm.
Wow.
- Fuck me, and then ghost me. - What? No!
- In my own home. - No!
- I was so not ghosting you. I was gonna... - Uh-huh.
I-I, I wasn't gonna just leave.
- I was gonna like... - Mmm-hmm.
- I was gonna leave a note or... - A note?
- I was not gonna just leave. - I know.
Just fucking with you.
Breathe.
You got jokes.
Fuck you.
Hey, uh, you wanna go out and get some food or something?
There's this new Jamaican brunch spot that just opened up down the block.
Did you wash your hands?
Oh, of course not.
Oh! Ugh!
Listen, I'd love to,
but I gotta kind of get back home to my dog.
Well, that sounds like a lie.
- There he is. - Oh, my God!
He's so cute. Aww.
That's my Jeter boy. You know, Jeter, like...
Yeah, like Derek.
You boys are so predictable.
You know, I'm available for sitting, FYI.
Ah, shit! Don't worry about it.
- You sure? - It's fine, Carter.
- I can just... - Don't keep Jeter waitin'.
Well, um, this was...
This was fun.
Yeah, it was good. Really.
Really?
Really.
Against my better judgement,
I actually wouldn't mind waking up to you a few more times.
Uh... What's a few? Like ten? 20?
Forever?
You boys and your egos, man!
A few hundred. Is that better?
Go home, boy.
I'll, uh, call you?
Ew. Text first. What kind of monster are you?
Okay, I'll text first.
Is it Paula? No, Presley?
Paris? No, no, no, Parsley?
I'll text you first, Parsley.
You knew my name last night. Jerk.
You know, uh, you got a nice place.
You should get this fixed though.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh. Perri. That's right.
Spelled like the water, and not Tyler.
Yeah.
Au revoir, Perri!
Nerd.
Hey, G. You good, little man?
I'll be home soon, I promise.
Look, I met this girl last night.
We had a few, ended up at her place, and then, you know...
Look, I don't got to tell you the rest. You know the game.
Eat up and keep being a good boy for Papa, okay?
And please don't shit on my rug, G.
Here's some treats.
You get a treat, you get a treat, you get a treat.
After you.
* Standing in line, marking time *
* Waiting for the welfare dime *
* 'Cause they can't buy a job *
* The man in the silk suit hurries by *
* As he catches The poor old ladies' eyes *
* Just for fun he says, "Get a job" *
- Oh, come on, man! What the fuck! - My bad, dude.
- I totally did not see you. - My shirt? Jesus.
Listen. Let me pay for it.
You got a problem here?
Nah, sir. There's no problem, no.
- I was just offering to pay. - Is that a cigarette?
Yes, it is.
Don't smell like no cigarette.
With all due respect, sir, your sense of smell is not my problem.
That's a lot of money for a guy with a not-so-cigarette smelling cigarette.
What kind of business we in?
Graphic design. I make comic books.
Uh, what can I say, I'm in demand.
Sir.
- Do me a favor, son. - Why you...
Put the bag down and step against the wall for me.
- What? I'm good, actually, man. - I'm not good.
Listen, man.
Give me the bag, get against the wall.
- This is mine. - Give me the bag, step against the wall.
- Listen, I didn't do nothin', bro. - Give me the bag.
- For what? - All right, tough guy.
- Hands behind your back. - What the fuck?
- Get off of me, man! - Let him go! He didn't do anything!
Hey, you, stop!
You can't do this.
He didn't do anything.
I got him.
Calm down.
Get off me!
- You're hurting him! Stop! - Get off me!
Get off me, get off me!
I-I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
Get off me. Get off me.
I can't breathe.
Calm down! Calm down!
I can't breathe.
Calm down! Calm down!
I can't breathe.
Calm down!
I can't breathe.
Hey, you okay?
Yeah.
I think I just had like...
the craziest, realest dream.
What happened?
I don't know.
This whole moment just...
feels like déja vu or something.
No, this is definitely the first time.
Yeah, it's probably just a bad dream.
Forget it.
Oh, my God!
He's so cute. Aww.
That's Jeter. You know, like...
Like Derek. Yeah, I know.
You boys are so predictable.
You know, I'm available for sitting, FYI.
Ah, shit!
Don't worry about it.
* Standing in line, marking time *
* Waiting for the welfare dime *
* 'Cause they can't buy a job *
* The man in the silk suit hurries by *
* As he catches The poor old ladies' eyes *
* Just for fun he says, "Get a job..." *
Whoa.
- Careful, man, this is a new shirt. - My bad, bro.
It's all good. No harm, no foul.
No doubt. Nice shirt though, man.
Everything all right here, fellas?
Yes, sir. Everything is just fine.
- I almost bumped... - Is that a cigarette?
Yes, it is.
But it don't smell like no cigarette.
With all due respect,
the inaccuracy of your sense of smell is not my problem, sir.
That, uh, some more magic tobacco in your pocket
or you just happy to see me?
Listen, the only people happy to see cops are white people and other cops.
Have a nice day, man.
- You have a nice day. Actually... - What the...
I'll have to check the bag. Step against the wall.
What are you doing? I know my rights. Let go of my bag.
I know your rights. I know my rights. We all know our rights.
- Bro. - Step against the wall.
- Let go of the bag. - Why are you doing this? Are you serious?
- Let go of your bag. - It's my personal...
- Why are you doing this? - You're under arrest.
Come on. You're under arrest.
Let him go. He didn't do anything!
Do not resist! Aah! Comply!
- What are you doing? - Don't go for my gun!
Get away from my gun!
Fucker!
What the fuck.
Hey, uh, you wanna go out get some food or something?
There's this new Jamaican brunch spot that just opened up down the block.
You know what? I have a better idea.
You know what my granny's secret to French toast is?
What?
Adding vanilla extract in the mix.
I mean, that's kind of everybody's secret to French toast.
Shut up.
I'm just saying.
You expecting someone?
Open up! Open up!
NYPD.
Against the wall! Let me see your hands.
Let me see your hands up.
My hands! You can see my hands!
What do you want me to do?
- Knife! - What?
- Get down! - Breathe! Oh, my God.
We have a warrant for drugs at this location.
What? Call an ambulance!
This is 138 East 33 Street.
- Yes, yes. Yes! - Apartment six.
No! No!
No!
Fuck!
Hey, uh, there's a new Jamaican spot that just opened down the street.
Do you wanna go out and get some food or something?
Hey, hey!
Fuck!
Oh, no, no!
No!
This keeps happening to me.
Fuck!
Comply!
Let me ask you something.
What would you do if somebody was trying to kill you every day?
I would try to kill them back?
Wanna use my gun?
What? No.
Wait. You-you got a gun?
I'm a Black woman in America. Damn right I got a gun.
Oh. You and your Jackie Brown shit.
That's cute.
Well, I'm a Libra, so I'm very diplomatic.
I guess if I didn't want to shoot a nigga,
I would just, you know, talk to him.
Okay then, Odell Beckham Jr. with the hands.
Look how quickly we forget Jerry Rice.
After you.
Nice shoes.
Officer Merk!
Wait, what?
Look, man, I'm not sure what the fuck is going on.
Maybe some racist déja vu shit,
but I think we're stuck in some kinda loop where I keep running into you
and you keep fucking killing me, man.
Now I know you're smoking...
Yes, you think my cigarette is not a cigarette.
- We've been through this. Look... - Hey, back up.
Show me some ID. Keep your hands where I can see 'em.
That sounds like a trap, but okay, dude.
This is the part where I open up my bag.
You see that wad of cash and you say...
"That's a lotta money for a guy
with a not-so-cigarette smelling cigarette."
You illegally search my shit.
I won't let you. We fight, then I'm dead.
That's enough circus tricks.
Give me the bag, step against the wall.
Look, dude. I'm about to fuck your head up right now.
You see the corner?
Cute couple about to kiss.
Boom!
Yoga girl about to take a selfie.
Voila.
Skater kid right there, watch him eat shit in three, two...
Son of a bitch.
Are you fucking with me?
Nah. Nah.
So, if I shoot you now,
we're gonna do it all over again?
Yeah, dude.
I'm just trying to get home to my fucking dog.
Well, if your past is any sign of your future...
I'd get the fuck out of here.
Fuck! What is that?
- Let's go. Come on. - Hey, stop!
Hey! Hey, you freaks!
Let me see your hands.
Show me your hands.
Show me your hands! Where'd your friends go?
Motherfucker!
Yo, Merk!
Shit.
This is so fucking weird.
Tell me about it, man.
I feel like I've been smoking one of your cigarettes.
And this has been happenin' how long? How many times?
Man, if my count is correct, 99.
Oh, it's your mom.
She doesn't want anything.
What?
You're a voodoo child, motherfucker.
She calls anytime it takes you longer than five minutes to kill me.
It's fucked up.
Yeah, it is.
So, what do you want?
Why don't you just take me home, man?
* I just wanna make it home In the middle of the night *
* My body is made of stone I'm easy to make a phrase *
* Like danger I'm alone Mama told me... *
It's really illegal for me to ride in the front?
Yeah.
Even on a ride-along?
Yep.
Man, that Kevin Hart movie was a fucking lie.
So, man, um, when's your birthday?
November 8th.
Ah. Scorpio.
That's interesting.
You're a sensitive dude.
You don't believe in all that astrology bullshit, do you?
Ah. Not really, but I wouldn't just call it nothin', you know?
I'm March 29th.
Aries.
You got a wife? Or husband?
Or non-gender conforming partner?
Wife, three kids, two dogs. You know, the all-American dream.
Hmm.
I slept with this girl last night.
Real cute.
I think I like her, but I think it was just sex for her.
I don't hear a problem yet.
I don't know, man, I don't know. I just...
I think maybe I fall in love too fast,
or that some people just fall in love too slow, you know.
Hey, you got laid last night. Move on.
So why you become a cop?
I saw a country losing its way.
Lost respect for the rule of law. Lost respect for the order.
- What? - I am sorry, I...
What's the real reason you became a cop, man?
Not that brochure bullshit.
I guess, uh...
I guess I got sick of being bullied.
So you became one.
So now I put 'em away.
No, no, no, that's bullshit, man. That's bullshit.
No, man. It's not bullshit.
I hear you. I hear what you're saying, man,
but all I'm saying is,
you guys over-police our neighborhoods, over-punish us,
lock us up for life
for some shit that white boys joke about in their memoirs.
And then we're stuck in a cycle we can't fucking break.
Come on, man. Everyone's responsible for their choices.
Even if that choice is crime.
I mean, no one's making you guys stick your hand in the cookie jar.
Listen. Some people do commit crime.
But what choice do they have,
when white people are born on the third base and niggas outside the stadium?
Boo-hoo.
That's fucked up. That's cold-blooded.
If we're being really real here,
this system rewards you guys with the best possible prize
for the only thing you had nothing to do with,
being white.
You got a way with words, kid, I gotta say.
I guess I never spoke to one of you this long either, to be honest.
It's interesting.
But I guess we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one, my friend.
That's fine by me, man. As long as you to take me home.
I'll take you home.
* You are a child of passion *
* Oh, the way you love *
* You are a child of spirit *
* I pray this reaches you *
* You are the child of color *
* The sun is your old friend *
* You are a child of victors *
* Let the victory begin *
* I want you to know You're not alone, no way *
* We're all connected Like sky to sky *
* Like moon that shines all night *
* I want you to know I want you know that... *
Well, this is me.
This is you.
You know, I would say, uh, "See you next time," but...
I fucking hope not.
Thanks for the ride, Officer Merk.
Take care of yourself, kid.
* Don't think you're alone, no... *
* Don't ever go the window... *
* Just know you're not alone *
Bravo, young Carter. Bravo!
Bravo!
What?
I gotta say, man, that was a real fun one.
Whoo!
The way you were all charming
and trying to appeal to my better nature as a human being and shit,
that was primo.
You're never short on courage, kid.
Only time.
I mean, sometimes you run,
most times you fight when one of the guys chokes you out a wee bit too much,
but this one, my friend...
Ah.
This one was a noble performance.
Best of the bunch.
It was my goddamn favorite.
Best of the bunch.
Whoo! Best of the bunch.
Whoo! The best of the bunch!
See you tomorrow, kid.
Damn, a hundred times?
So far, yeah.
Have you tried talking to him?
Look, I realize now,
it don't matter what I say or what I do or how I try to do it,
this dude just wanna... He just wanna kill me.
So what now? You just let him keep killing you forever?
Hell no.
Smarter than him, faster than him.
Shit, I probably got more money than he do.
Definitely more handsome than he is.
So I'mma figure something out.
'Cause it don't matter how long it takes...
or how many times it takes...
one way or another...
I'm gettin' home to my fucking dog.
* That's just the way it is *
* Some things will never change *
* That's just the way it is *
* Ha, but don't you believe them *
* Said, "Hey, little boy, you can go Where the others go" *
* Because you don't look like they do *
* Said, "Hey, old man How can you stand to think that way" *
* "Did you really think about it Before you made the rules?" *
* He said, "Son" *
* That's just the way it is *
* Some things will never change *
* That's just the way it is *
* Ha, but don't you believe them *
* Yeah *
* You don't feel my pain *
* The policeman wanna blow out my brains *
* Blow *
* Two distant strangers We are not the same *
- * I'm just another target on the range * - * Range *
* No, this is not no game *
* It's time we show these niggas We not playin' *
* Not fuckin' playin' *
* So many fallen and so many names *
* 'Cause we just another target On the range *
* We walkin' 'round Black It's like walking with a bulls-eye *
* Set it on my back So now I'm walkin' with my bulls-eye *
Screaming "Fuck the world, man!" I let it in me
* The devil gettin' closer I can feel the nigga in me *
* Right over my shoulder The world just gets colder *
* God gave his toughest battles To his strongest soldiers *
* Weight up on my chest Feeling like a fucking boulder *
* Life is but a dream Can't say I never told ya *
* I'm just trying to find A way up out this nightmare *
* Every day I fight fear It's a whole different life here *
* Tryin' to get my mind clear Feelin' like my time's near *
* Woke up close to God But the devil, he was right there *
* Breathin' down my back Every time I try to take a step *
* He always bring me back Feeling like I'm on the brink of death *
* Every waking breath Can bring a false sense *
* Swear to God I hardly slept 'Cause one eye just won't shut *
* You don't feel my pain *
* The policeman wanna blow out my brains *
* Blow *
* Two distant strangers We are not the same *
- * I'm just another target on the range * - * Range *
* No, this is not no game *
* It's time we show these niggas We not playin' *
* So many fallen and so many names *
* 'Cause we just another target On the range *
* There's a fire inside of me That grows daily *
* Most people look at fire As being a bad thing *
* I see it differently *
* I say it's all about what You choose to do with it *
* Sure, you can use it to burn things Like bridges, or even worse, yourself *
* But you can also use it to keep warm *
* And as a light To illuminate the darkness *
* Fire's power *
* We can choose to learn its properties Become the artist *
* Or put other people at risk By destroying everything we touch *
* Either way I'm gonna let this motherfucker burn *