1
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Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com

2
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See you in hell, mortal scum.

3
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You know that time when
you've just moved to the city

4
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and you take the first apartment
you find on craigslist

5
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with some dude
you never expected?

6
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That's where
my story begins.

7
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The door was unlocked.

8
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Oh, my God!

9
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You'retill banging
that demon chick?

10
00:00:36,893 --> 00:00:39,817
I thought someone was getting
murdered in here last nigh.

11
00:00:39,851 --> 00:00:43,042
Yeah, yeah, Callie
has some hostility issues.

12
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Oh, you think?

13
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My friend ray chewed off
a guy's ball bag once,

14
00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:48,947
And that whole process
was less noisy.

15
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:52,927
Would you mind unhinging
the bedposts, please?

16
00:00:54,961 --> 00:00:59,924
I can get somebody out there
Friday between 9:00 and 9:00.

17
00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:02,001
Can you narrow
that time frame a little?

18
00:01:02,036 --> 00:01:04,045
Buddy, I got zombies
putting arms through doors

19
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All over Manhattan.

20
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Take it or leave it.

21
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Friday?

22
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What part of "Friday
is african dance class"

23
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Do you not get?

24
00:01:14,733 --> 00:01:16,105
Randall and I were in the
same boat as far as women went.

25
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He'd "gone zombie"
a few months back

26
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For all the wrong reasons.

27
00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:21,934
I really like you,

28
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But I kind of only
date zombies, so...

29
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Sorry, I'm just really
into warlocks now.

30
00:01:32,951 --> 00:01:35,325
Never make life decisions
with a hard-on

31
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And a fifth of tequila.

32
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Crap!

33
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What do you got
going on today?

34
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Thought I'd stare
blankly ahead

35
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with cold, dead eyes
for a while, how I do.

36
00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:46,234
Maybe check out
Kung Fu Panda.

37
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Oh, by the way,

38
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This thing that you
got going with Callie,

39
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It's none of my business.

40
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But?

41
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It's just that I wouldn't
touch her with my [bleep],

44
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Milk? Little bit
of milk probably?

45
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No, skin.

46
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Did I get it?

47
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Yeah, you're good.

48
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He was right,
of course.

49
00:02:09,683 --> 00:02:12,056
Sleeping with the boss,
never a great idea.

50
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,129
In my defense,
she's hot,

51
00:02:14,163 --> 00:02:16,001
And our parts match up.

52
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That's rarer than you'd think
in this city.

53
00:02:18,175 --> 00:02:20,949
Things are pretty
hairy in Soho

54
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with continued congestion
due to the yeti convention.

55
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Avoid midtown as well,

56
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Which is still backed up
from a land-whale collision

57
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Earlier this morning.

58
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Land-whales,
they can't drive.

59
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You know, my sister married
one of them blowholes last year.

60
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:36,557
Now every thanksgiving,

61
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We have to spend
with his blood clot rats.

62
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Last night was an
enormous mistake, Mark.

63
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Expect no special treatment

64
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Just because
you've seen my cooch.

65
00:02:48,724 --> 00:02:50,763
And a good morning
to you too.

66
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Callie, who are you talking
to about your cooch?

67
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I said "scooch". Tape. Scooch
tape, sir. It's maintenance.

68
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Get me my scooch tape, Maggot!

69
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Granted, not the most
nurturing relationship,

70
00:03:03,362 --> 00:03:04,966
But the way I figure,

71
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If you like it normal,
why bother coming to new york?

72
00:03:08,174 --> 00:03:11,114
Hey, buddy,
maybe a diaper here?

73
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Suck my balls.

74
00:03:12,685 --> 00:03:15,657
Hey, I hear
that's good luck.

75
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Okay, people,
eyes up front.

76
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,300
Not you,
three eyes.

77
00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:22,504
We've all heard about cutbacks.
Here's how it breaks down.

78
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We're going to borrow just
a tad from social services

79
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In order to fully fund
law enforcement.

80
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Where is the other bar?

81
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I know. It's really hard
to make that visible.

82
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The you are.

83
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Questions?

84
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- Do I still have a job?
- No.

85
00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:41,383
Other questions?
Good.

86
00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:42,953
Then, lieutenant Grimes,

87
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Round up 20 illegal immigrants
by day's end,

88
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And our office wins
a bonus ham.

89
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Illegals are the disease,

90
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And I'm the cure, sir.

91
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Um, excuse me.

92
00:03:52,909 --> 00:03:56,214
But aren't quota
systems illegal?

93
00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:57,683
Who is he again?

94
00:03:57,718 --> 00:04:00,120
Mark Lilly, sir,
from social services,

95
00:04:00,121 --> 00:04:01,388
Our token bleeding heart.

96
00:04:01,389 --> 00:04:03,189
Don't want to
make waves here.

97
00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:04,490
I just thought we
were supposed to be

98
00:04:04,524 --> 00:04:08,925
helping new citizens assimilate,
not treating them like criminals.

99
00:04:13,126 --> 00:04:15,427
No. I'm mock clapping.

100
00:04:15,461 --> 00:04:17,094
- As am I.
- No, you aren't.

101
00:04:17,128 --> 00:04:19,228
You're going for that slow,
building applause thing,

102
00:04:19,263 --> 00:04:20,763
Like all those
'80s movies.

103
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There's virtually no
difference in our claps.

104
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Stop clapping,
both of you.

105
00:04:24,634 --> 00:04:27,501
You rubber-stamp immigrants
into the workforce.

106
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Grimes sends them back
where they came from.

107
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Did I miss something?

108
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No, sir.
Sound logic.

109
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Do you know what
makes me sick?

110
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,514
Prius drivers?

111
00:04:38,548 --> 00:04:41,715
No, I applaud the prius
and all low-emission vehicles.

112
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The environment
affects all of us.

113
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What makes me sick is him,

114
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Getting all gay
with the immigrants.

115
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What did they ever
do to you, anyway?

116
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You see that?
No, you don't.

117
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,390
Lost it
in a rastillian riot.

118
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No kneecap.

119
00:04:56,194 --> 00:04:57,594
Why, thanks ever so
much, Mr. Werewolf.

120
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My foreskin was bitten
off by a creature,

121
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and I don't even
know what it was.

122
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I've lost five partners
and a wife,

123
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the only friend
I've ever known,

124
00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:07,771
to these things.

125
00:05:07,805 --> 00:05:09,773
And I hate mexican food.

126
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Even chalupas?

127
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Wait! That's mexican?
I love those!

128
00:05:13,945 --> 00:05:17,479
What do I hate, then?
Armenians, that's it!

129
00:05:19,013 --> 00:05:20,748
Okay, guys, yeah,

130
00:05:20,782 --> 00:05:24,619
Top brass has slashed our
budget and left us to rot,

131
00:05:24,653 --> 00:05:28,289
but I say we get out there
and we prove them wrong.

132
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Mark, they've all
been laid off.

133
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You were supposed to get
their security passes.

134
00:05:34,295 --> 00:05:39,099
So carry what I just sad

135
00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:40,667
To your new places
of employment.

136
00:05:40,701 --> 00:05:42,401
That was totally
audible, Garrison.

137
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Sucks being you,
huh, choirboy?

138
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Excellent debasing, Callie.

139
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Now finish it.

140
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Yeah.
That's how I like it.

141
00:05:54,015 --> 00:05:57,349
Pissing where
you mix the potions?

142
00:05:57,384 --> 00:05:59,651
Pretty much.

143
00:05:59,686 --> 00:06:01,486
Been there.

144
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,921
Good times.

145
00:06:04,922 --> 00:06:06,389
Look at all these files.

146
00:06:06,424 --> 00:06:08,123
I am totally screwed.

147
00:06:08,158 --> 00:06:09,823
We'll split them, okay?

148
00:06:09,858 --> 00:06:10,924
Straight down the middle.

149
00:06:10,958 --> 00:06:12,192
You're the best, Leonard.

150
00:06:12,226 --> 00:06:14,327
Go make me proud, kiddo.

151
00:06:19,199 --> 00:06:21,300
Abracadabra.

152
00:06:22,386 --> 00:06:23,953
So I thought it
might be helpful

153
00:06:23,987 --> 00:06:26,054
if we share our problems
and questions

154
00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:28,056
in a group setting
from now on.

155
00:06:28,090 --> 00:06:29,624
I heard you were
slapping us together

156
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Just to save time.

157
00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,092
It's not true.

158
00:06:32,127 --> 00:06:33,427
Of course it's true.

159
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,095
The great brain knows all.

160
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:36,362
He heard you
in men's room.

161
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:37,530
He's in there all day.

162
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,765
You don't know me.

163
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,300
No, he's right.

164
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The department
has been slashed.

165
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,504
But I can still provide you

166
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With what you need
to become U.S. citizens.

167
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,974
Uh, yes, Lefty?

168
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:51,241
Martin.

169
00:06:51,275 --> 00:06:53,108
Sorry. Still learning
the names here.

170
00:06:53,142 --> 00:06:55,110
We keep getting
counted as two people.

171
00:06:55,311 --> 00:06:56,478
Clearly one entity.

172
00:06:56,512 --> 00:06:57,645
I'm marking it
in your file.

173
00:06:57,679 --> 00:06:59,079
Yeah, related question.

174
00:07:01,582 --> 00:07:02,981
Are there any double-ass
toilets in Manhattan?

175
00:07:03,016 --> 00:07:04,949
I know for a fact Wendy's
midtown is double-ass accessible.

176
00:07:04,984 --> 00:07:06,984
I'll get you the comprehensive
list after class.

177
00:07:07,019 --> 00:07:08,686
- Righteous.
- Oh, tubular.

178
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,322
Yes, Marguerette?

179
00:07:11,356 --> 00:07:13,656
I wish to make anger
toward the robots...

180
00:07:13,691 --> 00:07:14,890
Oh, here we go!

181
00:07:14,924 --> 00:07:16,758
For taking our legal jobs.

182
00:07:16,792 --> 00:07:19,026
In my country,
we call them the toilet bowl,

183
00:07:19,061 --> 00:07:21,462
For this is the place
we relieve ourselves of waste.

184
00:07:21,496 --> 00:07:23,097
I take issue with that.

185
00:07:23,131 --> 00:07:25,632
Don't forget to take
tissue with that, toilet.

186
00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:27,799
Oh, snap, she
served your ass.

187
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:30,834
Robots are not the
enemy here, okay, people?

188
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,335
And, whatever you
are in the back,

189
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,604
we have more in
common than not.

190
00:07:34,605 --> 00:07:37,339
- Mr. Lilly, a word.
- Okay.

191
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:38,641
The state department
requires me

192
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,275
to pay you all a visit
at your new job,

193
00:07:40,309 --> 00:07:44,844
- so I will see you this afternoon.
- I hear he's schtupping the boss.

194
00:07:44,851 --> 00:07:48,852
The innocent ones always
have a taste for danger.

195
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,523
Stop being such a boy scout
and process the numbers.

196
00:07:55,557 --> 00:07:57,358
Twayne is ready
to fire you as it is.

197
00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:59,359
I thought you didn't want
to do this anymore.

198
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,493
Why?
Because I said so?

199
00:08:01,495 --> 00:08:04,129
Oh, Mark, so innocent!

200
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:05,397
I just want to...

201
00:08:06,899 --> 00:08:08,566
And drag you
through the bowels of hell.

202
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:09,766
What's wrong?

203
00:08:10,102 --> 00:08:13,003
- The demon voice?
- No, no, just...

204
00:08:13,037 --> 00:08:14,872
Just takes a little
getting used to.

205
00:08:14,873 --> 00:08:16,874
But we're still on
for hell tonight, right?

206
00:08:16,908 --> 00:08:18,342
Because I'm gonna do things
to you down there

207
00:08:19,044 --> 00:08:21,845
That will rock your world.

208
00:08:21,879 --> 00:08:22,879
In hell.

209
00:08:22,913 --> 00:08:24,880
Oh, right! Sure.

210
00:08:24,915 --> 00:08:26,382
Sounds like a kick.

211
00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:28,051
Why don't you kids
get a room?

212
00:08:28,085 --> 00:08:29,486
Ever heard of knocking?

213
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,154
How would you propose
that I knock, exactly?

214
00:08:32,155 --> 00:08:33,287
Oh, I know!

215
00:08:33,355 --> 00:08:35,589
I'll just knock with my
spongy brain lining.

216
00:08:35,623 --> 00:08:37,357
That ought to make
quite a racket.

217
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,591
Here, listen!

218
00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:42,061
Ah, well, that's
a mood killer.

219
00:08:43,363 --> 00:08:45,130
All right, if they're
on the fence,

220
00:08:45,164 --> 00:08:46,597
push them over.

221
00:08:46,632 --> 00:08:48,265
If they ain't illegal,
bend some thumbs.

222
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,666
See what happens.

223
00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:51,905
We need 20 scumbags
by the end of today.

224
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:55,076
Oh, one more thing!
I love you guys.

225
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:57,043
I wish I could believe that!

226
00:08:58,544 --> 00:09:02,078
- Where's he going? - Said he's
going to collect some garbage.

227
00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,880
Oh, I'm just
getting that now.

228
00:09:05,349 --> 00:09:06,549
An army to put
them away.

229
00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:08,650
Two of us
to save their lives.

230
00:09:08,685 --> 00:09:10,051
Just one, actually.

231
00:09:10,052 --> 00:09:12,120
I've got my kid's
soccer practice.

232
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:15,056
- I told you that.
- Leonard, you don't have kids.

233
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,257
Oh, no?

234
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:17,892
Then who are these?

235
00:09:17,926 --> 00:09:19,727
Satchel plays violin.

236
00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:21,428
Phoebe's taking up tennis.

237
00:09:21,429 --> 00:09:23,463
You want me to conjure
up some home movies?

238
00:09:23,665 --> 00:09:26,065
I could do this all day.

239
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,734
Fine, I'll go it alone.

240
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:31,469
Got to admit.
The kid's got grit.

241
00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:33,905
He's gonna get
eaten alive out there.

242
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,643
What did I just say?
Did I call that or what?

243
00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:42,045
When you're right, you're
right. Release him, Burt!

244
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:45,650
The powers of the hidden
realm demand it.

245
00:09:50,421 --> 00:09:52,955
Now you know how it
feels to be chewed up

246
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,289
and spit out by
the system, man.

247
00:09:55,191 --> 00:09:56,791
Okay.

248
00:09:56,826 --> 00:09:59,360
I am gonna need a fast
change of clothes here.

249
00:09:59,795 --> 00:10:02,429
One at a time here.
I only have two heads.

250
00:10:02,463 --> 00:10:04,431
Deep breaths, Martin.
You're doing great.

251
00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:05,665
- Grande.
- Where are the lids?

252
00:10:05,699 --> 00:10:07,466
- Vanilla chai.
- Soy latte.

253
00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:08,734
Venti is large.

254
00:10:08,769 --> 00:10:10,869
Gingerbread lattes
are seasonal.

255
00:10:26,948 --> 00:10:29,115
Now, that's what
I call fried chicken.

256
00:10:30,384 --> 00:10:32,985
Barbecue's ready.

257
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:34,387
Is new U.S. citizen,

258
00:10:34,388 --> 00:10:35,520
just like me.

259
00:10:35,756 --> 00:10:37,656
Who's a U.S. citizen?

260
00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:39,356
You are.

261
00:10:39,391 --> 00:10:42,792
Why he pinch
baby's vagina?

262
00:10:42,826 --> 00:10:45,727
- Is not cool, Mark.
- You want relish with this?

263
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:48,696
I want information
with this, Tiko.

264
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,467
And, yes,
relish would be nice.

265
00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:52,904
Maybe if I had
some motivation,

266
00:10:52,905 --> 00:10:54,639
I'd remember something.

267
00:10:54,673 --> 00:10:56,040
Fine.

268
00:10:56,074 --> 00:10:57,675
Don't push your luck.

269
00:10:57,709 --> 00:10:59,776
I'm not made of q-tips.

270
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:02,010
All right, major
squid infestation,

271
00:11:02,045 --> 00:11:03,444
chelsea piers.

272
00:11:03,478 --> 00:11:05,879
I got my ears
to the ground, bro.

273
00:11:05,913 --> 00:11:07,646
I'll be the judge of that.

274
00:11:08,182 --> 00:11:10,683
No, I mean literally. Things
crawl in there all the time.

275
00:11:10,717 --> 00:11:11,884
It's a problem.

276
00:11:14,087 --> 00:11:15,621
Man, back home,

277
00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:17,954
I was part of a vastly
intelligent superorganism

278
00:11:17,989 --> 00:11:20,456
In charge of the continuation
of our species.

279
00:11:20,491 --> 00:11:21,823
I thought you
were from Toronto.

280
00:11:21,858 --> 00:11:22,924
That's right.

281
00:11:22,925 --> 00:11:24,493
Canadians
are way more advanced.

282
00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:25,828
We invented bacon.

283
00:11:25,862 --> 00:11:27,530
I'm not sure
that's accurate.

284
00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,732
Don't scratch
the counters.

285
00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:34,470
Are you gonna talk,

286
00:11:34,504 --> 00:11:36,071
or are you gonna
keep sucking air?

287
00:11:36,105 --> 00:11:39,240
Airboarding is illegal.

288
00:11:40,943 --> 00:11:42,843
I got all turned around.

289
00:11:42,878 --> 00:11:45,145
It's that underground sonar
equipment they're using now.

290
00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:47,748
Right. It's always
big oil's fault.

291
00:11:47,782 --> 00:11:49,516
- How many do we have?
- I think 20.

292
00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:51,718
But he has at least
three mollusks attached,

293
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,853
so I don't know
if that counts.

294
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,054
What is this?

295
00:11:55,088 --> 00:11:59,024
Billy? Do you
have your papers?

296
00:11:59,059 --> 00:12:01,027
All right, hands off!

297
00:12:01,061 --> 00:12:04,596
That is a U.S. citizen.

298
00:12:04,631 --> 00:12:06,932
I know they all look the
same to you, Grimes.

299
00:12:06,966 --> 00:12:11,702
I happen to have been
at this squid's bar mitzvah.

300
00:12:11,737 --> 00:12:14,203
L'chaim.

301
00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:18,771
Little boys better be careful, not to
get dumped in the river themselves.

302
00:12:19,107 --> 00:12:21,708
I don't scare
that easily, Grimes.

303
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:24,877
- Hello?
- Mark? Mark, it's Randall.

304
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:28,379
- I'm in big trouble, buddy.
I need your help. - Slow down, pal.

305
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:29,579
Where are you?

306
00:12:29,614 --> 00:12:32,950
24 east 14th.
Please hurry!

307
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,252
Okay, look,
I'm on my way.

308
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:35,419
Just stay calm!

309
00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:41,454
Which one looks better,
clefted or classic?

310
00:12:41,723 --> 00:12:43,057
I'm leaning classic
right now,

311
00:12:43,091 --> 00:12:45,394
because, like, clefted looks
like a dude's ass, doesn't it?

312
00:12:45,428 --> 00:12:46,762
You called me
down here for this?

313
00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:47,829
Hey, it's either you

314
00:12:47,864 --> 00:12:50,131
or this chick behind the counter
that keeps yelling at me.

315
00:12:50,165 --> 00:12:52,999
You can't take those out
of the box before purchase.

316
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,834
Besides, you're the one at has
to look at this all day, not me.

317
00:12:55,869 --> 00:12:57,202
I don't have
time for this.

318
00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,738
I'll take that as
a vote for classic.

319
00:13:01,941 --> 00:13:04,442
Chin cleanup, aisle two.

320
00:13:04,476 --> 00:13:05,810
I'm proud to say

321
00:13:05,845 --> 00:13:07,545
my case files are
all checking out.

322
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,013
You can tell twayne

323
00:13:09,047 --> 00:13:10,648
I'm really making
a difference out here.

324
00:13:10,682 --> 00:13:12,750
I'm marching into his
office as we speak.

325
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:14,918
Mr. Lilly?

326
00:13:14,953 --> 00:13:17,087
I don't think
I belong here.

327
00:13:17,122 --> 00:13:19,356
You're doing great
down there, Tyler.

328
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,590
Look at that squeegee form.

329
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:21,724
You're a natural.

330
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,359
What's his password?

331
00:13:23,394 --> 00:13:25,461
I believe it's
"honeyfrog".

332
00:13:25,462 --> 00:13:26,762
All lowercase.

333
00:13:26,796 --> 00:13:28,063
Gay password.

334
00:13:28,097 --> 00:13:29,597
Oh, we're in.

335
00:13:33,468 --> 00:13:34,869
Wait, did you just give
someone my password?

336
00:13:35,070 --> 00:13:37,106
No worries! Callie wanted to
rifle through your computer files

337
00:13:37,141 --> 00:13:38,240
for troubled cases.

338
00:13:38,241 --> 00:13:39,574
It's fine.

339
00:13:39,608 --> 00:13:41,943
That is so not fine, Leonard.

340
00:13:41,978 --> 00:13:44,780
Mark, I'm a wizard,
not a mind reader.

341
00:13:44,814 --> 00:13:46,417
Try "Tyler Mason".

342
00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:48,419
"Tyler Mason".

343
00:13:48,454 --> 00:13:49,888
Lieutenant Grimes,

344
00:13:49,889 --> 00:13:52,589
I think we may have found
your 20th.

345
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:53,922
Sit tight, chalupa.

346
00:13:53,957 --> 00:13:55,823
Daddy will be
right back.

347
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:05,233
Oh, man, that's hot.

348
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:06,868
She tapped into my computer
wcan you believe that?

349
00:14:06,902 --> 00:14:09,237
She's the spawn of satan.
What do you expect?

350
00:14:09,271 --> 00:14:10,771
Dude, you really are
demon whipped.

351
00:14:10,772 --> 00:14:12,573
I know. I'm going
to hell as we speak.

352
00:14:12,607 --> 00:14:13,840
I might lose you,
by the way.

353
00:14:13,875 --> 00:14:14,841
Unbelievable.

354
00:14:14,842 --> 00:14:16,175
I'm getting ready
for tonight's flaplap,

355
00:14:16,244 --> 00:14:18,944
and you're still
dicking around with this?

356
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,379
I can't believe
you're complaining

357
00:14:20,414 --> 00:14:21,747
while sitting
in a day spa.

358
00:14:21,781 --> 00:14:23,615
Man, I would kill
for your life.

359
00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:25,950
Yeah, just got a new chin,
and now they're doing the legs.

360
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:27,785
Got to stay fresh
for e ladies, right?

361
00:14:36,694 --> 00:14:38,294
Wow, four bars.

362
00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:39,929
You still there?

363
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:40,963
Yeah.

364
00:14:40,998 --> 00:14:42,297
Look, she promised you, like,

365
00:14:42,331 --> 00:14:44,365
the hottest sex
of your life, right?

366
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,633
In so many words.

367
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,934
So go deep, at least.

368
00:14:47,135 --> 00:14:48,535
Hit all the walls.

369
00:14:48,536 --> 00:14:49,803
You know what I'm sayin'?

370
00:14:49,838 --> 00:14:51,438
Not really, no.

371
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,107
Well, she will.
Trust me.

372
00:14:53,141 --> 00:14:54,307
Okay, we're done here.

373
00:14:54,341 --> 00:14:56,775
Hold on!
What about the other leg?

374
00:14:56,776 --> 00:14:58,810
The ad said 200 dollars
for a leg graft.

375
00:14:58,844 --> 00:15:00,647
Each leg.
200 dollars more.

376
00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,283
Fine, just do it!

377
00:15:02,585 --> 00:15:05,118
This place
is a total rip-off.

378
00:15:05,653 --> 00:15:07,319
You know what?
Can I get that in a doggie bag?

379
00:15:14,558 --> 00:15:18,393
Uh, Callie,
I would like to...

380
00:15:18,427 --> 00:15:21,295
Do the deepness with you.

381
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:24,697
He's saying that he wants
to hit all the walls.

382
00:15:24,732 --> 00:15:26,899
Daddy, this is Mark.

383
00:15:26,933 --> 00:15:28,834
I want to throw up.

384
00:15:28,868 --> 00:15:30,702
Sir, your table is ready.

385
00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:32,236
Is this your fourth?

386
00:15:32,271 --> 00:15:34,372
Let's get this over with.

387
00:15:35,875 --> 00:15:38,777
And we have an
unbaptized baby arm soup

388
00:15:38,811 --> 00:15:40,679
With a playful
raspberry coulis.

389
00:15:40,713 --> 00:15:43,047
I'm going with
the breadsticks.

390
00:15:43,082 --> 00:15:44,382
Those are also baby arms.

391
00:15:44,416 --> 00:15:46,651
I'll take another
lap over here.

392
00:15:46,685 --> 00:15:50,019
So, Callie, how's population
control coming?

393
00:15:50,053 --> 00:15:53,200
The master plan is being
implemented gradually.

394
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,354
Twayne, of course, would prefer
to vaporize the lot of them.

395
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:59,256
Hah, then Brooke and I'd
never get a table in here.

396
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,958
Aw, that Twayne!

397
00:16:00,992 --> 00:16:02,826
Now, there is a demon
you should get in bed with.

398
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:04,526
- Daddy!
- It's true.

399
00:16:04,561 --> 00:16:05,928
Of course, there's
nothing wrong

400
00:16:05,962 --> 00:16:09,065
with showing a
little compassion.

401
00:16:09,099 --> 00:16:10,332
Crash!

402
00:16:16,204 --> 00:16:17,904
Right on, brother.

403
00:16:17,938 --> 00:16:19,838
Who let this
ass[bleep] in here?

404
00:16:19,873 --> 00:16:22,675
You're aware that
you're in hell, yes?

405
00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:27,077
Jackson, I didn't know you
were dead! Excuse us, please.

406
00:16:27,113 --> 00:16:29,550
Nice choice on the
latest wife, daddy.

407
00:16:29,585 --> 00:16:31,519
Can't wait to meet
the next one.

408
00:16:31,553 --> 00:16:34,021
You didn't tell me that your
father was going to be here.

409
00:16:34,055 --> 00:16:35,388
What is this?

410
00:16:35,423 --> 00:16:37,228
He really hates your guts.

411
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,296
I'm so hot for you right now.

412
00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:41,531
There's that face again.
Am I repulsive to you?

413
00:16:41,632 --> 00:16:44,600
No, it's just... Look,
my students trust me,

414
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:47,966
and your rummaging through
their lives, it's unprofessional.

415
00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:49,668
Unprofessional?

416
00:16:49,702 --> 00:16:54,573
You placed a zombie at the
mbd as a window washer.

417
00:16:54,607 --> 00:16:57,807
Yes, Tyler Mason. First job
as an undead american.

418
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,040
It was a great moment.

419
00:16:59,442 --> 00:17:01,577
Do you even know
what mbd stands for?

420
00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:05,313
Manhattan
building of... No.

421
00:17:08,283 --> 00:17:10,083
So you're a zombie.

422
00:17:10,117 --> 00:17:11,651
So let's quit?

423
00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:13,052
So let's just eat brains now?

424
00:17:13,087 --> 00:17:15,187
Come on, man,
you're bigger than this.

425
00:17:15,222 --> 00:17:16,655
Brains.

426
00:17:16,689 --> 00:17:17,655
Slap!

427
00:17:17,690 --> 00:17:18,723
Stop it.

428
00:17:18,757 --> 00:17:20,925
This is all about your dad.

429
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,560
I hate him so much!

430
00:17:23,595 --> 00:17:25,997
What is with you guys
and the door splintering?

431
00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:27,232
I don't know.

432
00:17:27,266 --> 00:17:29,968
Look, just put
the brains down,

433
00:17:30,002 --> 00:17:33,070
And we'll walk out of here,
you and me.

434
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:35,773
Yeah, come on, man.
Let's hug it out.

435
00:17:37,175 --> 00:17:39,176
- He's going for the brains.
- Take him out.

436
00:17:41,545 --> 00:17:43,145
Oh, great!

437
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,147
The ladies
are gonna love this.

438
00:17:45,181 --> 00:17:46,814
Hold your fire.

439
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:48,449
We're comin' out.

440
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:58,103
And that makes 20,
my new favorite number.

441
00:17:58,137 --> 00:17:59,671
Favorite number, 20.

442
00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:03,041
Great work, Mr. Lilly.

443
00:18:03,075 --> 00:18:05,042
But I totally screwed up.

444
00:18:05,077 --> 00:18:06,777
Exactly, your
incompetence

445
00:18:06,811 --> 00:18:08,946
allowed Grimes
to fill our quota.

446
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:11,315
And now we feast.

447
00:18:12,517 --> 00:18:16,821
Ah, ham, nature's candy.

448
00:18:20,626 --> 00:18:22,593
I think you saved one tonight.

449
00:18:22,627 --> 00:18:24,361
My fault he was there
in the first place.

450
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,231
You've got to detach
yourself from the process.

451
00:18:27,265 --> 00:18:28,432
I mean, look at me.

452
00:18:28,466 --> 00:18:30,534
I'm not even here
right now.

453
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,970
Oh, wait!
Then where are you?

454
00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:36,740
I'm just putting
out a few fires.

455
00:18:36,774 --> 00:18:38,676
The work never
stops, does it?

456
00:18:39,045 --> 00:18:43,312
- Keep your chin up. - You're
right. I should be more positive.

457
00:18:43,347 --> 00:18:46,347
Good. Now mash
those breasts together.

458
00:18:46,382 --> 00:18:47,749
Wait. What?

459
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:50,151
Oh, I thought you
were talking to me.

460
00:18:51,753 --> 00:18:53,920
You're a naughty, naughty girl,
aren't you?

461
00:18:53,955 --> 00:18:55,755
Maybe turn your
hologram off or...

462
00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:56,956
I don't know how that works.

463
00:18:56,991 --> 00:18:58,258
That t-shirt
is dripping wet.

464
00:18:58,292 --> 00:19:00,259
I'm gonna go.

465
00:19:02,696 --> 00:19:04,429
Shake it off, brah.

466
00:19:04,463 --> 00:19:05,730
The night is young,

467
00:19:05,765 --> 00:19:08,266
And this joint
is crawling with cilf.

468
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,500
Check out fun bags
on your six.

469
00:19:12,602 --> 00:19:15,404
Um, wait!
One more time?

470
00:19:15,538 --> 00:19:19,340
I said a vodka tonic
and a long straw, please.

471
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,300
Can you believe this?

472
00:19:22,444 --> 00:19:24,278
My skin's falling
off like osso buco,

473
00:19:24,312 --> 00:19:26,079
and she's all over me.

474
00:19:29,683 --> 00:19:31,517
You want to nail
her with me?

475
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:34,152
It is literally anything that
moves with you, isn't it?

476
00:19:34,186 --> 00:19:35,753
What are you,
still on Callie?

477
00:19:35,787 --> 00:19:38,789
Dude, you hopped off
that meat bus 12 hours ago.

478
00:19:38,823 --> 00:19:40,690
Be in the now.

479
00:19:40,725 --> 00:19:42,959
Get... Out.

480
00:19:42,994 --> 00:19:45,261
All right, fine, more
face 'Gina for me, then.

481
00:19:45,296 --> 00:19:47,797
That was a major
screw-up, Lilly.

482
00:19:47,831 --> 00:19:49,599
I know. Poor Tyler.

483
00:19:49,634 --> 00:19:52,034
I need to read the manual
way more carefully

484
00:19:52,068 --> 00:19:54,637
Or at all, actually.

485
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:55,839
I meant picking up girls

486
00:19:55,873 --> 00:19:57,374
The night
after we sleep together.

487
00:19:57,408 --> 00:19:58,975
You're lucky
I don't turn your [bleep]

488
00:19:59,010 --> 00:20:00,477
into a bag of
marshmallows right now!

489
00:20:00,511 --> 00:20:02,345
I'd like to see
that, actually.

490
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:06,182
Look, Callie, I'm flattered
and terrified and all that.

491
00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:08,984
I just don't think
this is working out.

492
00:20:09,019 --> 00:20:10,386
I'm a social worker.

493
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:12,721
You eat souls for fun.

494
00:20:12,755 --> 00:20:14,989
We couldn't be a worse match
if we tried.

495
00:20:15,024 --> 00:20:19,827
Frankly, I live in constant fear
that you're gonna murder me.

496
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:24,497
You always know
just what to say.

497
00:20:24,532 --> 00:20:27,867
So that's pretty much
life in the big apple:

498
00:20:27,901 --> 00:20:29,969
Overworked and underpaid,

499
00:20:30,003 --> 00:20:32,705
Looking for love
in all the wrong places,

500
00:20:32,739 --> 00:20:34,206
And, more times than not,

501
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,473
Working for a
total douche nozzle.

502
00:20:39,677 --> 00:20:43,547
Must be why everyone
keeps coming here.

503
00:20:45,817 --> 00:20:47,350
A little help.

504
00:20:49,853 --> 00:20:52,388
You got a filthy mouth,
you know that?

505
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:01,000
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