1
00:00:02,989 --> 00:00:04,858
Every once
in a blue moon,

2
00:00:04,892 --> 00:00:07,824
something extraordinary
happens...

3
00:00:11,158 --> 00:00:12,759
Easy.

4
00:00:12,793 --> 00:00:14,494
You don't have to do this.

5
00:00:17,739 --> 00:00:19,674
Something that really
gets your blood pumping.

6
00:00:23,112 --> 00:00:26,150
Drop that arm.

7
00:00:26,185 --> 00:00:29,826
But, I wanted
to go to the show.

8
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com

9
00:00:35,866 --> 00:00:39,303
It's amazing how anyone
can actually stay sane

10
00:00:39,338 --> 00:00:41,306
once they've gone
through the system.

11
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:42,940
- Are you alive or dead?
- Alive.

12
00:00:42,974 --> 00:00:44,809
- Good or evil?
- Good.

13
00:00:44,843 --> 00:00:46,877
Evil. Do you walk
on two or four legs?

14
00:00:46,911 --> 00:00:50,447
Sometimes two, sometimes
four when I'm running,

15
00:00:50,481 --> 00:00:52,848
sometimes five,
if you get my meaning.

16
00:00:52,883 --> 00:00:54,483
Two.

17
00:00:54,517 --> 00:00:57,622
Sir, I'm gonna need you
to retract your claws.

18
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:01,494
The whole process
is so dehumanizing.

19
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:05,232
Granted, many of the cases
aren't human, but still,

20
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,735
What's wrong with treating them
with a little compassion?

21
00:01:07,769 --> 00:01:09,737
Here, boy.
Who's your master?

22
00:01:09,771 --> 00:01:11,572
Huh, somebody
ate chili for dinner.

23
00:01:14,076 --> 00:01:17,077
Something smells amazing.

24
00:01:17,112 --> 00:01:18,513
Must be my famous eggs.

25
00:01:18,547 --> 00:01:21,549
The secret ingredient
is pepper.

26
00:01:21,584 --> 00:01:23,384
Did you know,
as a sign of respect,

27
00:01:23,419 --> 00:01:25,586
You're supposed to let
a werewolf sniff your hand

28
00:01:25,621 --> 00:01:27,521
Before starting
a conversation?

29
00:01:27,556 --> 00:01:29,423
That's the smell.

30
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,091
Dude, you are so tender.

31
00:01:31,126 --> 00:01:33,426
Are you having a full
moon flesh craving again?

32
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,195
No!
Of course not.

33
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,697
Are you sure?

34
00:01:36,732 --> 00:01:39,100
'cause you're salivating,
like, a lot.

35
00:01:39,134 --> 00:01:41,435
I'm just hungry
for some flesh toast.

36
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,572
Made from a mixture
of tofu, whole grains,

37
00:01:43,606 --> 00:01:46,175
and rat ovaries with
real fleshy taste added.

38
00:01:46,209 --> 00:01:48,978
Mmm-mmm.
Flesh toast.

39
00:01:48,979 --> 00:01:50,746
Be careful out there.

40
00:01:50,781 --> 00:01:52,615
Don't bruise yourself,
flesokay?St.

41
00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:53,917
Okay.

42
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,755
Are you licking my ear?

43
00:01:57,790 --> 00:01:59,791
Don't ruin
the moment.

44
00:02:02,696 --> 00:02:04,264
Can you believe this guy?

45
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:07,100
All for a ticket
to the christ angel show.

46
00:02:07,134 --> 00:02:11,337
Oh, right, 'cause
christ angel's such a genius.

47
00:02:11,372 --> 00:02:12,905
Hey, what are you doing?

48
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:15,074
It's a sign of respect,
right?

49
00:02:15,108 --> 00:02:16,809
Yeah, in 1801.

50
00:02:16,843 --> 00:02:18,210
I can't believe
I'm still dealing

51
00:02:18,245 --> 00:02:19,645
With this level
of ignorance.

52
00:02:19,679 --> 00:02:21,046
Sorry.

53
00:02:21,081 --> 00:02:23,048
By the way, your hand
smells like flesh toast.

54
00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:27,152
The state versus
matthew thornton, werewolf.

55
00:02:27,186 --> 00:02:30,121
Your honor, there are
68 witnesses to this crime.

56
00:02:30,156 --> 00:02:32,591
The defendant was arrested with
the victim's arm in his mouth.

57
00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:34,059
Dna evidence
was everywhere.

58
00:02:34,094 --> 00:02:36,829
And the law could not be more
on my side.

59
00:02:36,863 --> 00:02:38,464
Giant baby?

60
00:02:42,804 --> 00:02:46,040
Oh, who could say no
to that spaghetti face?

61
00:02:46,074 --> 00:02:47,642
Case dismissed.

62
00:02:47,676 --> 00:02:49,144
Really, your honor?

63
00:02:49,178 --> 00:02:51,847
This is the seventh case
he's won with spaghetti.

64
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,849
You call this justice?

65
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,250
I order the werewolf

66
00:02:55,285 --> 00:02:56,852
back into the custody
of Leonard powers

67
00:02:56,886 --> 00:02:59,288
to undergo
obedience training.

68
00:02:59,322 --> 00:03:02,524
Is Mr. Powers present?

69
00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:06,594
Leonard's, caught
in traffic, your honor,

70
00:03:06,629 --> 00:03:09,464
so I will be handling
the werewolf.

71
00:03:09,498 --> 00:03:11,065
I don't care.

72
00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:23,847
And time.

73
00:03:23,881 --> 00:03:25,315
I'm sorry.

74
00:03:25,349 --> 00:03:27,852
I've got too much anger
for this trust exercise.

75
00:03:27,886 --> 00:03:31,489
Okay, good, great, way
to express yourself, Phil.

76
00:03:31,523 --> 00:03:33,024
Would it be
too much to ask

77
00:03:33,058 --> 00:03:35,159
For you to give me back
my wedding ring?

78
00:03:35,193 --> 00:03:38,429
Um, sorry.
I haven't passed it yet.

79
00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:40,064
How convenient.

80
00:03:40,099 --> 00:03:41,866
Matthew, is there anything
you'd like to say

81
00:03:41,901 --> 00:03:44,502
To help Phil deal with
some of that anger?

82
00:03:44,536 --> 00:03:47,271
Could I interest you
in a belly rub?

83
00:03:47,306 --> 00:03:48,873
This is unbelievable.

84
00:03:48,907 --> 00:03:51,309
This is an important lesson
for everyone.

85
00:03:51,343 --> 00:03:53,044
Without
a basic level of trust,

86
00:03:53,078 --> 00:03:54,846
The whole city
will fall apart.

87
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,147
That's nice in theory,

88
00:03:56,182 --> 00:03:59,351
But you can't trust
everybody.

89
00:03:59,386 --> 00:04:01,354
Oh, God!
It's happening again.

90
00:04:03,124 --> 00:04:05,959
Let's give Phil some
space for a minute,

91
00:04:05,994 --> 00:04:07,761
Watch some slides.

92
00:04:07,796 --> 00:04:10,264
Leonard, some
visual aids, please.

93
00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:12,700
Keep your pants on,
honey.

94
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:16,037
In the early days
of New York,

95
00:04:16,071 --> 00:04:18,073
the native New Yorkers

96
00:04:18,107 --> 00:04:22,144
were led by the vampire
William Dyer.

97
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,912
My skin's on fire.

98
00:04:23,946 --> 00:04:27,815
But irish immigrants
were flooding into the city.

99
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,250
Oh, God!

100
00:04:29,284 --> 00:04:30,918
And quite frankly,

101
00:04:30,953 --> 00:04:33,888
A lot of tension
between those groups.

102
00:04:36,157 --> 00:04:38,960
This will bring me
nightmare.

103
00:04:38,994 --> 00:04:41,029
Tone it down,
okay?

104
00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:43,599
Sure.
Take christ angel's side.

105
00:04:45,102 --> 00:04:47,036
Whoa.
Jesus christ.

106
00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:52,575
Make it stop.

107
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,377
Make it stop!

108
00:04:54,412 --> 00:04:55,879
Oh, sorry about that,
everyone.

109
00:04:55,914 --> 00:04:58,548
We'll pick it up from
here next time.

110
00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:01,551
Nice powerpoint,
sugar tits.

111
00:05:01,586 --> 00:05:05,789
Excalibur.
Excalibur.

112
00:05:05,824 --> 00:05:07,158
Excalibur.

113
00:05:07,192 --> 00:05:09,093
Little out of sync
in there today.

114
00:05:09,128 --> 00:05:12,797
Have I ever told you how much
I like this magic pen set?

115
00:05:12,832 --> 00:05:14,433
Yes, many times.

116
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:16,668
I'm a little more interested
in this angry obsession

117
00:05:16,703 --> 00:05:18,670
You have with christ angel.

118
00:05:18,705 --> 00:05:20,339
I don't know
what you're talking about.

119
00:05:24,812 --> 00:05:27,147
Magic.

120
00:05:27,181 --> 00:05:30,184
I would think this guy
would be a hero to all wizards.

121
00:05:30,218 --> 00:05:31,986
I mean, he's amazing.

122
00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,454
So cool.

123
00:05:33,488 --> 00:05:34,788
Oh, my God, Leonard!

124
00:05:34,823 --> 00:05:36,023
Is this you?

125
00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:37,291
Yes.

126
00:05:37,325 --> 00:05:39,393
You're friends
with christ angel?

127
00:05:39,427 --> 00:05:40,861
We're not friends.

128
00:05:40,895 --> 00:05:42,128
He's my brother.

129
00:05:45,566 --> 00:05:47,933
- We have the same mother...
- Right.

130
00:05:47,968 --> 00:05:50,102
- And father.
- I get it.

131
00:05:50,137 --> 00:05:52,504
Like the Jonases,
only there are two of us.

132
00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:54,772
- I'm gonna take off.
- Now I turn on the television.

133
00:05:54,807 --> 00:05:56,508
I got to see this dude
who's my brother.

134
00:05:57,385 --> 00:05:58,618
Hey, buddy.

135
00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:00,453
Want to jam with me
on rock band?

136
00:06:04,257 --> 00:06:06,758
Brains...

137
00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:08,960
Brains,
they are delicious.

138
00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:10,930
Are we jamming?

139
00:06:10,964 --> 00:06:12,364
Do I look cool
right now?

140
00:06:12,399 --> 00:06:15,068
Mm-hmm.
You're the coolest, buddy.

141
00:06:19,073 --> 00:06:21,675
Hello, Ray?
Yeah, it's me.

142
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:23,878
Man, I'm having
a really bad craving.

143
00:06:23,912 --> 00:06:26,981
Well, I roofied my roommate's
chocolate milk.

144
00:06:27,015 --> 00:06:28,215
Chocolate milk.

145
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,351
Yeah, I know,
a grown man.

146
00:06:30,385 --> 00:06:33,553
I'm really fixated on the
occipital lobe right now.

147
00:06:33,588 --> 00:06:35,021
How would I do it?

148
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:37,423
Well, I hadn't really
thought about it.

149
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:38,958
But I guess I'd start
with an incision

150
00:06:38,992 --> 00:06:40,860
At the base of the spine,
bypassing the arteries.

151
00:06:40,894 --> 00:06:42,261
Then I'd drain
the spinal fluid

152
00:06:42,295 --> 00:06:44,062
To make, like, you know,
kind of a base.

153
00:06:44,096 --> 00:06:46,264
Are you masturbating
to this?

154
00:06:46,298 --> 00:06:47,998
Dude, you are
the worst sponsor.

155
00:06:53,906 --> 00:06:55,674
How long have you
been watching me sleep?

156
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:56,908
The whole night.

157
00:06:56,942 --> 00:06:59,944
Okay, clearly,
you want to eat me,

158
00:06:59,979 --> 00:07:01,780
And that's natural.

159
00:07:01,814 --> 00:07:03,481
You're a zombie.

160
00:07:03,516 --> 00:07:06,518
Save your hippie mind games
for someone else, dude.

161
00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:07,919
Okay, all right.

162
00:07:07,953 --> 00:07:10,589
But I'm here
when you want to talk.

163
00:07:13,359 --> 00:07:14,893
Mark, I hope
I didn't give off

164
00:07:14,928 --> 00:07:16,762
the impression that I have
some sort of problem

165
00:07:16,796 --> 00:07:17,996
With my brother's success.

166
00:07:19,466 --> 00:07:21,467
Listen, I'm fine
with him living out

167
00:07:21,501 --> 00:07:23,235
All my hopes and dreams.

168
00:07:23,269 --> 00:07:25,871
Would I have given him
my classic dove card trick

169
00:07:25,905 --> 00:07:27,306
If I was bitter?

170
00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:36,348
For this next illusion,
I need a volunteer.

171
00:07:36,382 --> 00:07:38,550
Oh, me!
Pick me!

172
00:07:41,254 --> 00:07:43,155
Wow, look at you.

173
00:07:43,189 --> 00:07:45,491
I guess I'm not the only angel
in here tonight.

174
00:07:46,826 --> 00:07:48,627
I need you to think
of a card.

175
00:07:48,661 --> 00:07:49,995
Okay.

176
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:53,032
Now, really concentrate
on the card.

177
00:07:59,707 --> 00:08:01,241
That's totally my card.

178
00:08:01,275 --> 00:08:02,509
But where's christ?

179
00:08:02,543 --> 00:08:04,678
What's happening to me?

180
00:08:04,713 --> 00:08:06,147
Help!

181
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:07,382
I'm going into labor.

182
00:08:15,491 --> 00:08:16,758
What you've just seen
is magic.

183
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,028
Yeah!

184
00:08:20,063 --> 00:08:21,697
That's your trick?

185
00:08:21,731 --> 00:08:24,732
He won a wizzie for it
in 1732.

186
00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:27,268
He must have been
so grateful.

187
00:08:27,302 --> 00:08:28,803
Oh, yeah!

188
00:08:28,837 --> 00:08:30,471
I mean, he didn't mention me
in his speech

189
00:08:30,505 --> 00:08:32,072
Or return my calls
for three centuries,

190
00:08:32,106 --> 00:08:33,673
But a brother knows.

191
00:08:36,443 --> 00:08:38,744
I take back everything
I said about magicians.

192
00:08:38,778 --> 00:08:41,546
Old lady, your brother
is amazing.

193
00:08:41,581 --> 00:08:43,248
Well, we've had
a lot of fun tonight,

194
00:08:43,282 --> 00:08:45,283
But I'd like to slow things
down for a minute

195
00:08:45,318 --> 00:08:47,018
And introduce my brother.

196
00:08:47,053 --> 00:08:49,521
Leonard, get
your ass out here.

197
00:08:51,390 --> 00:08:53,391
Hey.

198
00:08:53,425 --> 00:08:56,094
Can you believe
he's the younger brother?

199
00:08:56,128 --> 00:08:57,796
So old.

200
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,564
Wrinkle face.

201
00:08:59,598 --> 00:09:01,366
Lenny, it's always good
to see you,

202
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,068
But I've been meaning
to ask you something.

203
00:09:03,102 --> 00:09:04,669
Mm-hmm.
Why you hitting yourself?

204
00:09:04,704 --> 00:09:06,104
Why you hitting yourself?

205
00:09:06,139 --> 00:09:07,439
Why you hitting yourself?

206
00:09:07,473 --> 00:09:08,873
Why you hitting yourself?

207
00:09:08,907 --> 00:09:10,542
- Stop...
- Why you hitting yourself?

208
00:09:10,576 --> 00:09:12,410
- That's okay...
- Why you hitting yourself?

209
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,714
This guy's a total dick.

210
00:09:25,389 --> 00:09:27,756
Leonard, I think
this is a classic case

211
00:09:27,791 --> 00:09:29,792
Of sibling doormat
syndrome.

212
00:09:29,826 --> 00:09:31,226
Wait. I have a family!

213
00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:33,262
Mark, you're about
to lose that hand.

214
00:09:33,296 --> 00:09:34,630
You should stop drinking

215
00:09:34,664 --> 00:09:36,265
And be more honest
about your emotions.

216
00:09:36,299 --> 00:09:37,934
Take Randall here
as an example.

217
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:40,069
Hey, Randall, you
want to eat me, right?

218
00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:41,738
More than anything.

219
00:09:41,772 --> 00:09:44,340
See, and now that
that's out in the open,

220
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,609
We can deal with it.

221
00:09:45,643 --> 00:09:47,144
I worked out
a whole plan.

222
00:09:47,178 --> 00:09:48,545
After you go to bed,

223
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:50,548
I wait patiently
for your breathing patterns

224
00:09:50,582 --> 00:09:53,051
To indicate
that you have fallen asleep.

225
00:09:53,085 --> 00:09:56,420
Leonard, if it's your dream
to be a world-famous wizard,

226
00:09:56,455 --> 00:09:57,955
You should go for it.

227
00:09:57,990 --> 00:09:59,691
The trick is gonna be
opening your door

228
00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,025
Without making any noise.

229
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:02,960
Maybe you have a point.

230
00:10:02,995 --> 00:10:04,962
But where
would I even start?

231
00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:08,333
How about here,
at open mic night?

232
00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:09,800
Before entering the room,

233
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:11,969
I'll put pillows
on my feet.

234
00:10:12,003 --> 00:10:14,471
He'll never hear me.

235
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,441
Is that
drunk sack of magic

236
00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:19,643
Gonna grace us
with his presence today?

237
00:10:19,677 --> 00:10:23,247
Are you talking about
the amazing Leonard?

238
00:10:23,281 --> 00:10:28,252
Whoa, that leotard
is tight.

239
00:10:28,286 --> 00:10:30,120
This is just
a little taste.

240
00:10:31,489 --> 00:10:32,824
If you want to see more,

241
00:10:32,858 --> 00:10:34,158
Be at the subclub tonight.

242
00:10:34,193 --> 00:10:37,863
It promises to be
a magical evening.

243
00:10:45,206 --> 00:10:46,840
Grimes,
you're on cleanup.

244
00:10:46,874 --> 00:10:48,308
How come
whenever a lion explodes,

245
00:10:48,342 --> 00:10:50,043
It's always grimes
on cleanup?

246
00:10:50,077 --> 00:10:51,710
Callie, let's start
interviewing

247
00:10:51,745 --> 00:10:53,346
Replacement wizards.

248
00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:54,747
You know
what I'm looking for.

249
00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:56,148
Proficiency in evil

250
00:10:56,182 --> 00:10:57,750
And a working knowledge
of powerpoint.

251
00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,952
Out of sight.

252
00:10:59,986 --> 00:11:02,421
How did the exploding lion
over?

253
00:11:02,455 --> 00:11:05,223
Reaction was mixed.

254
00:11:05,257 --> 00:11:06,624
What's this?

255
00:11:06,659 --> 00:11:09,427
It's a token
of my appreciation.

256
00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:10,695
"I, Leonard Powers,

257
00:11:10,729 --> 00:11:12,730
"bequeath to you,
Mark Lilly,

258
00:11:12,765 --> 00:11:14,799
One day of immortality."

259
00:11:14,834 --> 00:11:18,003
And a 25 dollars
Barnes & Noble gift card.

260
00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:19,739
I'm a little confused.

261
00:11:19,773 --> 00:11:21,207
That's good
for any purchase,

262
00:11:21,241 --> 00:11:22,542
Except at the cafe.

263
00:11:22,576 --> 00:11:23,843
Actually,
I was talking about

264
00:11:23,878 --> 00:11:27,648
The immortality/handgun
scenario.

265
00:11:27,682 --> 00:11:30,884
Mark, you really turned
me around last night.

266
00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:35,555
Immortality is the greatest
gift a wizard can bestow.

267
00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:37,190
Go ahead.

268
00:11:37,224 --> 00:11:38,525
Give it a shot.

269
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:39,926
You know what?

270
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,660
I've got some work
to finish up right now.

271
00:11:41,695 --> 00:11:43,128
What say I off myself
after lunch?

272
00:11:43,163 --> 00:11:44,763
Okay.

273
00:11:44,797 --> 00:11:46,198
You might want
to use the safety

274
00:11:46,232 --> 00:11:48,533
if you're gonna
aim it at your junk.

275
00:11:51,761 --> 00:11:54,296
This calm, peaceful
neighborhood

276
00:11:54,331 --> 00:11:56,699
was once the site
of the horrific battles

277
00:11:56,733 --> 00:11:58,734
between the natives
and the irish,

278
00:11:58,769 --> 00:12:02,439
but eventually, they decided
to trust each other.

279
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:05,241
So they could get on
with their lives.

280
00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:07,511
Is there anything you guys
would like to say to each other?

281
00:12:07,545 --> 00:12:09,212
Could you
come by my place

282
00:12:09,247 --> 00:12:12,449
And explain to my six-year-old
where daddy's arm went?

283
00:12:12,484 --> 00:12:14,951
You've got some serious
hostility issues.

284
00:12:14,986 --> 00:12:16,286
You know that?

285
00:12:17,956 --> 00:12:20,424
Sorry, I've been waiting
too that all day.

286
00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:22,425
Now that I've got
yourtttion,

287
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,361
There's someone
I want you to meet.

288
00:12:24,396 --> 00:12:28,899
He'll help you put all
this hatred into perspective.

289
00:12:30,935 --> 00:12:32,803
Welcome to Ray's.

290
00:12:32,837 --> 00:12:34,238
Class, this is Mr. Dyer.

291
00:12:34,272 --> 00:12:37,975
Yes, the same Mr. Dyer
from the slide show.

292
00:12:39,812 --> 00:12:42,280
Yesterday.

293
00:12:42,314 --> 00:12:43,715
That wasn't even
24 hours ago.

294
00:12:43,749 --> 00:12:45,316
Does anyone
pay attention?

295
00:12:45,351 --> 00:12:49,220
He traded in his anger
for the american dream.

296
00:12:49,255 --> 00:12:52,357
If he can find peace...
or shall I say slice...

297
00:12:52,391 --> 00:12:53,925
So can you.

298
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,295
Mr. Dyer,
the floor is yours.

299
00:12:56,329 --> 00:12:58,564
After I lost my eye,

300
00:12:58,599 --> 00:13:02,201
I was seduced by the glamour
of the pizza business.

301
00:13:02,236 --> 00:13:03,469
But after a good run,

302
00:13:03,503 --> 00:13:06,673
I rediscovered
my one true passion:

303
00:13:06,707 --> 00:13:09,676
A seething hatred
of the irish!

304
00:13:11,112 --> 00:13:13,580
I should have done
a little more research.

305
00:13:16,251 --> 00:13:18,652
Uh, Randall?

306
00:13:18,687 --> 00:13:20,054
Are you following me?

307
00:13:20,089 --> 00:13:21,322
So what if I am?

308
00:13:21,357 --> 00:13:22,524
It's great exercise.

309
00:13:22,558 --> 00:13:24,292
Nothing sinister
about that.

310
00:13:24,327 --> 00:13:27,128
The piano wire
and the man-size sack

311
00:13:27,163 --> 00:13:28,597
Say otherwise.

312
00:13:28,631 --> 00:13:30,332
I'm not actually gonna
sneak up behind you

313
00:13:30,367 --> 00:13:31,700
And strangle you

314
00:13:31,735 --> 00:13:34,370
And shove your lifeless body
into this sack.

315
00:13:34,405 --> 00:13:36,973
I just want you to see
that I could.

316
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:41,277
Our first act is the
amazing Leonard.

317
00:13:41,312 --> 00:13:45,614
Also, we're out
of chicken fingers.

318
00:13:45,649 --> 00:13:48,484
Are you ready
for some magic?

319
00:13:49,919 --> 00:13:51,720
I need an assistant.

320
00:13:51,754 --> 00:13:54,222
How about you,
young man?

321
00:13:54,256 --> 00:13:57,258
You need a woman
for the dove trick.

322
00:13:57,292 --> 00:13:59,326
I can't give birth to you.

323
00:13:59,361 --> 00:14:01,996
Don't worry.
I'm doing something else.

324
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:03,965
I am going to kill a man

325
00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:07,001
And bring him
back to life.

326
00:14:07,036 --> 00:14:09,337
Let's see your precious christ
do that.

327
00:14:11,574 --> 00:14:15,978
I call it "the wakey-wakey
eggs and bakey."

328
00:14:16,012 --> 00:14:18,114
Whoa, wait!
We're losing them, Mark.

329
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,682
What's wrong?

330
00:14:19,716 --> 00:14:21,083
You don't believe in me.

331
00:14:21,118 --> 00:14:22,317
That's not true.

332
00:14:22,352 --> 00:14:23,552
You never
believed in me.

333
00:14:23,586 --> 00:14:24,820
You're just like
all the rest.

334
00:14:24,854 --> 00:14:26,655
Okay,
maybe I don't feel

335
00:14:26,689 --> 00:14:28,823
Like shooting myself
in the head right now.

336
00:14:28,857 --> 00:14:30,391
It has been a while
since you performed

337
00:14:30,425 --> 00:14:32,059
In front of a live audience.

338
00:14:32,093 --> 00:14:34,494
I've never performed
in front of a live audience.

339
00:14:34,529 --> 00:14:36,063
Why don't we start
with a card trick?

340
00:14:36,097 --> 00:14:38,331
Or maybe pull a quarter
out from behind my ear?

341
00:14:38,366 --> 00:14:40,700
The finger thing?
This gag?

342
00:14:40,734 --> 00:14:41,935
Please, Mark.

343
00:14:41,969 --> 00:14:43,436
I promise.

344
00:14:43,471 --> 00:14:46,439
If you kill yourself,
you won't regret it.

345
00:14:46,474 --> 00:14:47,908
Happy thoughts.

346
00:14:47,942 --> 00:14:49,142
Happy thoughts.

347
00:14:53,348 --> 00:14:57,485
Wait for it.

348
00:14:57,519 --> 00:15:00,822
Wait for it.

349
00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:02,757
Wait for it.

350
00:15:02,792 --> 00:15:04,292
I call his legs.

351
00:15:05,795 --> 00:15:08,396
Oh, my God!

352
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:09,664
I'm alive!

353
00:15:09,698 --> 00:15:11,666
Leonard's spell worked.

354
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:13,434
What happened to my clothes?

355
00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,302
Clothing does not make
the transition

356
00:15:15,337 --> 00:15:16,870
Into the in-between world.

357
00:15:16,905 --> 00:15:19,373
Okay, you're going
to come back to life,

358
00:15:19,407 --> 00:15:21,475
But we've got to go over
a few things first

359
00:15:21,509 --> 00:15:23,978
To make sure that you don't
kill yourself again.

360
00:15:24,012 --> 00:15:25,513
That's completely
unnecessary.

361
00:15:25,547 --> 00:15:27,081
I want to live.

362
00:15:27,115 --> 00:15:29,483
Before I can process you,
I need to show you

363
00:15:29,518 --> 00:15:31,486
How your death
affected your friends,

364
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,389
Or what my mother would call
"a guilt trip."

365
00:15:34,423 --> 00:15:37,593
Randall had
to identify your body.

366
00:15:37,627 --> 00:15:40,296
Why?

367
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,931
Why?

368
00:15:41,965 --> 00:15:43,432
Why can't I eat him?

369
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:46,068
I'm sorry.
It's against the law.

370
00:15:46,102 --> 00:15:48,636
I'll give you a minute
to say good-bye.

371
00:15:48,671 --> 00:15:51,106
Well, would it be okay
if I just ate a toe?

372
00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:52,607
Go for it, buddy.

373
00:15:52,641 --> 00:15:55,176
I don't need
all those toes.

374
00:15:55,211 --> 00:15:56,544
Dude, did you hear

375
00:15:56,579 --> 00:15:57,812
What he just said?

376
00:15:57,847 --> 00:16:00,348
Well, if it's okay
with him.

377
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:02,850
Hey.

378
00:16:05,353 --> 00:16:07,554
And callie, she found twayne
an evil wizard

379
00:16:07,588 --> 00:16:10,457
To take Leonard's place.

380
00:16:13,729 --> 00:16:16,964
Everything is collating
as I have foreseen.

381
00:16:18,366 --> 00:16:19,833
Does she even care
that I'm dead?

382
00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:23,804
She's trying to induce a tear
via yawning.

383
00:16:23,838 --> 00:16:25,139
Really hard
for demons to cry.

384
00:16:25,173 --> 00:16:26,841
They're like protestants.

385
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,709
There it is.

386
00:16:31,046 --> 00:16:33,181
Leonard is so ashamed
and racked with guilt

387
00:16:33,215 --> 00:16:35,684
That he goes on
the biggest bender of his life.

388
00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:38,186
Let's do some
body shots, baby.

389
00:16:39,822 --> 00:16:42,457
It's been nice working
with you, lady liberty.

390
00:16:42,491 --> 00:16:46,360
You're the ugliest french chick
I've ever seen.

391
00:16:46,394 --> 00:16:47,595
Where's he going?

392
00:16:47,629 --> 00:16:49,329
To the wizards' guild,

393
00:16:49,364 --> 00:16:51,732
Where he shall resign from
the department of integration.

394
00:16:51,766 --> 00:16:53,066
I've got to stop him.

395
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,468
Bah-bah, we got
to complete the process.

396
00:16:55,502 --> 00:16:58,870
Next stop,
your funeral.

397
00:16:58,905 --> 00:17:00,438
Enjoy.

398
00:17:00,473 --> 00:17:01,707
Hi, everyone.

399
00:17:01,741 --> 00:17:03,241
My name's Phil.

400
00:17:03,276 --> 00:17:04,843
I didn't know Mark long,

401
00:17:04,877 --> 00:17:07,112
but seeing him here like
this really hits home.

402
00:17:07,146 --> 00:17:08,647
Looking at death,

403
00:17:08,681 --> 00:17:11,549
I realize being a werewolf
isn't so bad.

404
00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:12,984
My arm's even growing back.

405
00:17:13,019 --> 00:17:15,219
See?
Look at my small arm.

406
00:17:15,254 --> 00:17:17,155
Mark tried to teach me that.

407
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:19,958
He just did
a really terrible job.

408
00:17:19,992 --> 00:17:22,227
I forgive you.

409
00:17:22,261 --> 00:17:25,096
Thank you so much.

410
00:17:26,465 --> 00:17:28,099
And, hey,
look what I found.

411
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:30,367
Don't worry.
I rubbed it in purell.

412
00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:37,674
I don't even know
these guys.

413
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,776
Doesn't anybody who's known me
for more than a day

414
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,444
Want to speak,
anyone?

415
00:17:41,479 --> 00:17:42,679
No.

416
00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,381
Overall, it was
a pretty low-key affair.

417
00:17:45,818 --> 00:17:47,218
Okay, that's it.

418
00:17:47,253 --> 00:17:48,920
Here's a customer service
evaluation.

419
00:17:48,955 --> 00:17:50,189
I cannot accept tips,

420
00:17:50,223 --> 00:17:51,790
But if you appreciated
my services,

421
00:17:51,825 --> 00:17:54,460
Please circle either
"excellent"s or "very good"s.

422
00:17:54,495 --> 00:17:55,929
It's a pension thing,

423
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:59,299
And it means a lot
to me and my family, okay.

424
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:05,773
I wish I had time
to explain what just happened,

425
00:18:05,807 --> 00:18:07,975
But I've got to stop
Leonard from quitting.

426
00:18:09,478 --> 00:18:11,412
I can't believe
you ate my toe.

427
00:18:11,447 --> 00:18:13,814
It didn't look like
you were coming back.

428
00:18:13,849 --> 00:18:15,783
It was a victimless crime.

429
00:18:20,095 --> 00:18:21,696
Listen to me.

430
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:24,431
It's very important that
I find Leonard Powers.

431
00:18:24,465 --> 00:18:27,066
He's in the middle of
his resignation ceremony

432
00:18:27,101 --> 00:18:29,435
in the 12th-floor
conference room.

433
00:18:29,469 --> 00:18:31,770
Thanks.

434
00:18:31,805 --> 00:18:36,141
You shall not pass!

435
00:18:36,176 --> 00:18:37,643
Until you sign in.

436
00:18:37,677 --> 00:18:40,712
It's required.

437
00:18:40,747 --> 00:18:43,382
In order to resign
your position

438
00:18:43,416 --> 00:18:46,586
As wizard at the department
of integration,

439
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:50,524
You must turn in
your office supplies.

440
00:18:50,558 --> 00:18:51,892
I was told
I could keep them.

441
00:18:51,926 --> 00:18:53,293
Silence!

442
00:18:53,328 --> 00:18:54,928
You will turn them in,

443
00:18:54,963 --> 00:18:56,730
Even the koosh ball.

444
00:18:56,764 --> 00:18:58,832
And once the box
is unloaded,

445
00:18:58,866 --> 00:19:01,300
It shall be done.

446
00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:04,636
One rubber band ball.

447
00:19:04,671 --> 00:19:06,838
One merlin mouse pad.

448
00:19:06,873 --> 00:19:09,173
One wand sharpener.

449
00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:25,490
One plastic
world's drunkest wizard trophy.

450
00:19:25,524 --> 00:19:27,926
15 condoms.

451
00:19:27,961 --> 00:19:30,329
One koosh ball.

452
00:19:30,363 --> 00:19:34,100
And finally,
one excalibur pen set.

453
00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:35,335
Wait!

454
00:19:35,369 --> 00:19:36,836
Leonard, stop!

455
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,270
Don't do it.

456
00:19:38,305 --> 00:19:39,605
I'm alive.

457
00:19:39,639 --> 00:19:42,341
- And diving for no reason.
- Sorry.

458
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:43,742
Who dares intrude

459
00:19:43,776 --> 00:19:46,344
On the president
of the wizards' guild?

460
00:19:46,378 --> 00:19:48,346
By the power
of excalibur,

461
00:19:48,380 --> 00:19:50,714
I withdraw
my resignation.

462
00:19:50,749 --> 00:19:51,949
No!

463
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:55,852
I've been made
redundant.

464
00:19:58,089 --> 00:19:59,690
Maintenance!

465
00:19:59,724 --> 00:20:01,425
I summon thee.

466
00:20:01,459 --> 00:20:03,594
Thanks for saving me,
kid.

467
00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:07,666
Just promise
never to encourage me again.

468
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,501
You have my word.

469
00:20:09,536 --> 00:20:13,339
In america, you're always taught
to reach for the stars,

470
00:20:13,373 --> 00:20:17,744
But for some, just accepting
who you are is hard enough.

471
00:20:19,813 --> 00:20:21,481
Kitty cat!

472
00:20:23,383 --> 00:20:25,251
Others end up regretting
the cost they paid

473
00:20:25,285 --> 00:20:28,854
To get to the top.

474
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:33,191
Life is hard enough
as it is.

475
00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:38,663
I say, there are more important
things to worry about.

476
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:44,068
The best advice

477
00:20:44,102 --> 00:20:46,804
might be to just
leave the stars alone,

478
00:20:46,839 --> 00:20:51,475
have a few drinks and
pass out on your desk.

479
00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:57,414
Ah, sucker!

480
00:20:58,383 --> 00:20:59,817
Cucumber.

481
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,500
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