1
00:00:01,562 --> 00:00:03,583
You know what's
a huge decision?

2
00:00:03,617 --> 00:00:05,813
Having a baby.

3
00:00:06,347 --> 00:00:09,373
Give me your soul.

4
00:00:09,407 --> 00:00:12,042
Let's just do this before
we change our minds.

5
00:00:12,077 --> 00:00:13,951
It's the one I call
the game c changer,

6
00:00:13,986 --> 00:00:15,918
when two people who used
to have fun together

7
00:00:15,952 --> 00:00:18,583
start ripping each
other's throats out.

8
00:00:18,617 --> 00:00:19,749
Drop that baby!

9
00:00:19,783 --> 00:00:21,448
You're under arrest.

10
00:00:21,482 --> 00:00:23,247
You think you can waltz
out of hell into my city

11
00:00:23,381 --> 00:00:25,380
and sell some stolen baby?

12
00:00:25,414 --> 00:00:26,980
No, officer.

13
00:00:27,647 --> 00:00:28,952
You got it all wrong.

14
00:00:28,986 --> 00:00:31,186
I'm no thief.
I'm the daddy over here.

15
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Sync by fant0m
www.addic7ed.com

16
00:00:35,855 --> 00:00:38,024
One of the major arguments
for dating a girl

17
00:00:38,058 --> 00:00:39,826
who is dead wrong for you:

18
00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:43,228
Virtually no temptation to ever
make that fatal decision.

19
00:00:43,263 --> 00:00:46,866
Mark, it's time to take our
relationship to a new level.

20
00:00:46,901 --> 00:00:48,335
Oh, dear God!

21
00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:50,537
There's something
I want to show you.

22
00:00:52,274 --> 00:00:54,743
What is that?

23
00:00:54,778 --> 00:00:55,945
It's my three hole.

24
00:00:57,346 --> 00:01:00,348
How did I not
notice that before?

25
00:01:00,382 --> 00:01:01,716
It just opened up.

26
00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:03,017
Opened up?

27
00:01:04,552 --> 00:01:06,953
It changes color?

28
00:01:06,987 --> 00:01:09,521
I can make it blink too.

29
00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:10,956
It also does this.

30
00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:15,826
You think it's ugly.

31
00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:17,593
No.
No, no, no, no.

32
00:01:17,627 --> 00:01:20,062
It's just a lot
of new information here.

33
00:01:20,096 --> 00:01:22,229
Dude, pound that.

34
00:01:22,264 --> 00:01:23,397
Randall?

35
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:24,999
It's not what you think.

36
00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:27,068
I was just watching
you guys have sex.

37
00:01:27,102 --> 00:01:28,870
Randall!

38
00:01:28,905 --> 00:01:32,108
You can kiss this three hole
good-bye, Mark Lilly.

39
00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:33,876
Don't make it weird.

40
00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:36,111
Hello.
Dude, you got a sweet piece.

41
00:01:36,146 --> 00:01:37,881
Is that...
that's a boom mic.

44
00:01:41,485 --> 00:01:43,019
Okay, let's start again
from the top.

45
00:01:43,053 --> 00:01:46,123
Callie, could you come in here,
please?

46
00:01:46,157 --> 00:01:49,359
Oh, sure.
Fill my hole no problem.

47
00:01:50,828 --> 00:01:52,929
Clearly, your honor,
this lowlife

48
00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:56,066
Stole someone else's child
to sell on the black market.

49
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:58,402
Wait.
Aren't you the defense lawyer?

50
00:01:58,436 --> 00:02:00,103
Oh, right.
Uh, sorry.

51
00:02:00,137 --> 00:02:03,106
Totally hopped up
on sudafed p.M. Right now.

52
00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:04,474
Let's start again.

53
00:02:04,508 --> 00:02:07,610
Clearly this lowlife
is the real father.

54
00:02:08,578 --> 00:02:10,445
Uh, paperwork checks out.

55
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,613
Bing.

56
00:02:11,648 --> 00:02:12,981
Seems dirty to me.

57
00:02:13,016 --> 00:02:14,716
You want dirty?

58
00:02:14,751 --> 00:02:18,254
Callie asked me to put it
in her three hole this morning.

59
00:02:18,288 --> 00:02:20,156
Oh, she must trust you.

60
00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:22,459
That's what they call
a "Dirty Houdini."

61
00:02:22,494 --> 00:02:24,962
Let's be careful down there.

62
00:02:24,996 --> 00:02:27,431
Ratso demon, please rise.

63
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,568
It's pronounced
"enrico," ma'am.

64
00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:33,103
You are hereby
ordered to return

65
00:02:33,137 --> 00:02:35,506
Bob and Maxine Lane
their souls.

66
00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:36,275
Why's that?

67
00:02:36,309 --> 00:02:38,676
30-day grace period
upon making any deals

68
00:02:38,711 --> 00:02:41,412
with said devil or any
devil-like entities.

69
00:02:43,047 --> 00:02:46,016
Furthermore, you are to attend
D.O.I. proper parenting classes

70
00:02:46,050 --> 00:02:48,485
until such time as our
esteemed instructors

71
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,087
Deem you a fit parent.

72
00:02:50,121 --> 00:02:52,089
- She's looking at us.
- That's hilarious.

73
00:02:52,123 --> 00:02:53,924
Bailiff, return
his baby, please.

74
00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:57,795
Yay, me.

75
00:02:57,830 --> 00:02:59,363
Gootchie, gootchie, goo.

76
00:02:59,398 --> 00:03:02,399
Sir, I'm pretty sure
those are the feet.

77
00:03:02,434 --> 00:03:04,601
I know that.

78
00:03:04,636 --> 00:03:08,171
Okay, today we need to talk
about parenting in the u.S.A.

79
00:03:08,206 --> 00:03:10,373
What the hell do you know
about parenting?

80
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,208
What are you, like, ten?

81
00:03:12,243 --> 00:03:13,409
Fair question.

82
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,178
I know that parents should...

83
00:03:15,212 --> 00:03:17,747
Never shake a baby.

84
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,381
So there's that.

85
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:23,451
It also says you never steal
demon babies

86
00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:26,488
And sell them
on the black market.

87
00:03:26,523 --> 00:03:28,357
Why you got to look at me
when you say that?

88
00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:29,625
I just happened to notice

89
00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:32,461
The price scanner
you're holding.

90
00:03:32,496 --> 00:03:34,697
Don't be a pussy, Mark.
He is a lying ass.

91
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:35,998
Look at the tell.

92
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:37,900
Jiggly knee.
That's the one!

93
00:03:37,935 --> 00:03:39,869
Okay, confession time.

94
00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:42,405
I don't think
this is your baby, sir.

95
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,173
Yeah?
How's come?

96
00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,275
You just...you really don't
strike me as a father.

97
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,510
What does it eat?

98
00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:49,879
Baby things.

99
00:03:49,913 --> 00:03:52,247
Poker chips, grass,

100
00:03:52,282 --> 00:03:54,216
Energy drinks.

101
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,584
What's its name?

102
00:03:57,386 --> 00:03:58,920
Choking victim.

103
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,057
Where's the baby?

104
00:04:02,091 --> 00:04:03,691
Let me ask the questions here.

105
00:04:03,726 --> 00:04:05,693
No, stupid.
The baby is missing.

106
00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:07,762
Hey, what do you know
about that?

107
00:04:09,265 --> 00:04:10,866
Oh, my God!

108
00:04:14,771 --> 00:04:16,571
No!

109
00:04:18,074 --> 00:04:19,942
Somebody get this baby
off my face.

110
00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:23,446
Sir, you're gonna need to try
to relax your face muscles.

111
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,582
I know it's counterintuitive.

112
00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,452
What's up?

113
00:04:29,487 --> 00:04:32,088
Sir, I'm afraid
you've left me no option.

114
00:04:32,123 --> 00:04:35,458
I assume control over
this baby until said time

115
00:04:35,493 --> 00:04:37,927
that he can be placed
in a proper home.

116
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:41,030
Yo, I'm heartbroken
over here.

117
00:04:41,064 --> 00:04:43,866
Hey, look, they got an o.T.B.
Over there over here.

118
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:47,436
Must he end every sentence
that way?

119
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:49,672
So what's the process
for the demon baby?

120
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,607
Same as hazardous waste.

121
00:04:51,642 --> 00:04:53,375
Contain him overnight
in a steel cage unit

122
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:55,043
Until U.P.S. arrives
in the morning.

123
00:04:55,078 --> 00:04:58,447
But there's an orphanage
right across the street.

124
00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,618
I could just walk him
over there myself.

125
00:05:01,652 --> 00:05:03,620
Ah, six of one...

126
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:06,890
Hey, little fella.

127
00:05:06,925 --> 00:05:09,427
How'd you like to get
a little fresh air?

128
00:05:12,231 --> 00:05:14,800
How could I resist that?

129
00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:16,769
No legs is not my problem.

130
00:05:16,803 --> 00:05:18,871
You stand up for the pledge
of allegiance, marshall.

131
00:05:28,182 --> 00:05:29,550
Oh, my God!

132
00:05:29,584 --> 00:05:31,251
Is that a demon baby?

133
00:05:31,286 --> 00:05:33,153
Yeah, just thought
I'd show him a good time

134
00:05:33,188 --> 00:05:34,788
Before I took him
to child services.

135
00:05:34,823 --> 00:05:36,057
The orphanage?

136
00:05:37,325 --> 00:05:39,092
That...

137
00:05:39,127 --> 00:05:41,362
Whew...really burns
quite a bit.

138
00:05:42,330 --> 00:05:44,030
Oh, my dark lord.

139
00:05:44,065 --> 00:05:47,668
Um, did your boobs just grow
when you touched the baby?

140
00:05:47,702 --> 00:05:49,503
No.
Are you sure?

141
00:05:49,537 --> 00:05:51,738
'cause I could have sworn...
there, it happened again.

142
00:05:51,772 --> 00:05:53,006
Stop staring at my boobs.

143
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,008
I can't, so I'll go.

144
00:05:58,011 --> 00:06:00,546
Uh, ma'am, you appear
to be lactating fire.

145
00:06:08,021 --> 00:06:09,655
Now, we can't cancel
health benefits

146
00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:12,858
For employee spouses, but
we can encourage divorce.

147
00:06:16,897 --> 00:06:18,798
That is gonna be an issue.

148
00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:22,397
You're doing so great, honey.

149
00:06:22,431 --> 00:06:23,565
Just a little more.

150
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,568
Oh, my God!
This is really happening.

151
00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:33,042
In the day, she wear dress.

152
00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:34,577
Now she naked.

153
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:35,912
Somebody shut that guy up.

154
00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:37,180
Okay.

155
00:06:37,214 --> 00:06:38,415
Almost.

156
00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:40,884
Just push. Push.

157
00:06:43,755 --> 00:06:45,957
Splat!

158
00:06:47,259 --> 00:06:48,460
Oh, for God's sake!

159
00:06:48,494 --> 00:06:50,762
I'm in heat.

160
00:06:55,301 --> 00:06:57,802
Hmm, Monday, Monday.

161
00:06:59,337 --> 00:07:02,372
Oh, that's four shirts today.

162
00:07:09,746 --> 00:07:12,614
Get that baby
out of your mouth.

163
00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:25,093
We're gonna leave that
for now.

164
00:07:36,606 --> 00:07:38,774
Oh, you!

165
00:07:38,808 --> 00:07:41,844
The bane of my existence.

166
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,750
Ah, a baby.
Hell, yes!

167
00:07:48,785 --> 00:07:50,519
I love these things.

168
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,389
I must say, not the reaction
I was expecting.

169
00:07:53,423 --> 00:07:54,657
What, are you kidding me?

170
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,525
These things
are total scush bait.

171
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,228
For some reason, women can't
resist these little shriek bags.

172
00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:00,729
Do I still have time
for happy hour?

173
00:08:00,764 --> 00:08:02,331
Nah, I should
really be getting him

174
00:08:02,365 --> 00:08:03,699
Over to the orphanage.

175
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,368
Come on.
One drink won't kill him.

176
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:08,438
You'd like that,
wouldn't you?

177
00:08:08,472 --> 00:08:09,705
He got your nose.

178
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,340
It was coming off anyway.

179
00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:14,977
You see, Mr. Bone raper,

180
00:08:15,011 --> 00:08:17,013
When a demon woman
goes into heat,

181
00:08:17,047 --> 00:08:21,217
The demon man, that being you,
smells her pheromones,

182
00:08:21,252 --> 00:08:22,452
And...

183
00:08:22,486 --> 00:08:23,753
Go on.

184
00:08:23,787 --> 00:08:28,257
And he grows
a massive mating bone.

185
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:31,628
You know, I don't really feel
comfortable having "the chat"

186
00:08:31,662 --> 00:08:32,896
With my boss.

187
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,430
Please help me understand.

188
00:08:34,465 --> 00:08:37,968
So many icky, confusing feelings
I have inside.

189
00:08:38,002 --> 00:08:39,770
Am I normal?

190
00:08:39,805 --> 00:08:41,772
Oh, of course
you're normal.

191
00:08:41,807 --> 00:08:44,275
It's just that if you were
in hell right now,

192
00:08:44,309 --> 00:08:47,679
You'd be looking to disembowel
your chief rival.

193
00:08:47,713 --> 00:08:49,414
Then would come
a battle to the death

194
00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:50,848
With your mating partner.

195
00:08:50,883 --> 00:08:52,750
And finally,
assuming you were victorious,

196
00:08:52,785 --> 00:08:55,285
You would then get
to eat the baby.

197
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:56,620
Bonus.

198
00:08:56,654 --> 00:08:58,121
Don't pick at it.

199
00:09:01,492 --> 00:09:03,627
He looks like
he may be wearing down.

200
00:09:03,661 --> 00:09:06,763
I should probably get him
over to the orphanage.

201
00:09:06,798 --> 00:09:09,633
Hey, is this the baby
buying rounds on my tab again?

202
00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:11,435
No, he's done.

203
00:09:11,469 --> 00:09:14,438
It's from the knockout
at the end of the bar.

204
00:09:14,472 --> 00:09:16,440
All right, go ahead, buddy.
I got the baby.

205
00:09:16,475 --> 00:09:17,675
Hey, put the pool cue down!

206
00:09:17,709 --> 00:09:19,210
Smack!

207
00:09:19,244 --> 00:09:21,078
I probably shouldn't.
Callie might get mad.

208
00:09:21,113 --> 00:09:22,380
She broke up with you again

209
00:09:22,414 --> 00:09:23,815
Over that three hole thing,
right?

210
00:09:23,849 --> 00:09:25,183
I guess, yeah.

211
00:09:25,217 --> 00:09:26,451
So...

212
00:09:26,485 --> 00:09:29,120
Why are we still talking?

213
00:09:30,322 --> 00:09:32,323
Hi, there.

214
00:09:32,357 --> 00:09:34,625
I cannot believe
you accepted that drink.

215
00:09:34,659 --> 00:09:35,926
Wait a minute.

216
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,161
You can shape-shift?

217
00:09:37,195 --> 00:09:38,728
Don't change the subject.

218
00:09:38,763 --> 00:09:40,130
You like brunettes,
is that it?

219
00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:41,631
Brunette humans.

220
00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:44,300
Look, clearly you have
something on your mind.

221
00:09:44,335 --> 00:09:45,968
Why don't you just say it?

222
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,170
Well, I guess seeing you
with the baby

223
00:09:48,205 --> 00:09:50,172
Stirred up
some confusing emotions.

224
00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:52,575
I was trying to be
what I thought you wanted.

225
00:09:52,609 --> 00:09:54,611
Did you know that being around
that demon baby

226
00:09:54,645 --> 00:09:56,546
Made me lactate fire?

227
00:09:58,316 --> 00:10:00,317
I think I may be
in love with you.

228
00:10:00,352 --> 00:10:02,153
How can you be
so cruel to me?

229
00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:04,689
You are just like
my lacrosse coach.

230
00:10:04,724 --> 00:10:07,926
You know what?
Forget everything I just said.

231
00:10:09,228 --> 00:10:11,830
Your baby just racked up
an 800 dollars bar tab.

232
00:10:11,864 --> 00:10:13,765
Home safe.

233
00:10:18,237 --> 00:10:21,072
Well, little fella,

234
00:10:21,106 --> 00:10:22,973
I guess this is it.

235
00:10:23,007 --> 00:10:26,843
We had some laughs, a couple
of near-death experiences.

236
00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:30,547
I hope I showed you
a little fun out there.

237
00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:32,682
"Good-bye" is the
hardest word, so...

238
00:10:45,897 --> 00:10:47,498
So you and callie...

239
00:10:47,532 --> 00:10:48,766
What's the deal?

240
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,167
You guys an item?

241
00:10:50,202 --> 00:10:53,004
Because her facebook status
says single.

242
00:10:53,038 --> 00:10:56,174
Dude, if you took her
off my hands,

243
00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:58,510
I'd consider it a favor, so...

244
00:10:59,579 --> 00:11:01,247
Knock yourself out

245
00:11:01,281 --> 00:11:04,017
With whatever that thing is
growing out of your sternum.

246
00:11:04,051 --> 00:11:05,919
She hasn't given herself
to me yet.

247
00:11:05,953 --> 00:11:07,521
Any clue as to why?

248
00:11:07,555 --> 00:11:10,424
Well, it...
it's just that...

249
00:11:10,458 --> 00:11:12,626
You're sort of a dick.

250
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,495
Right.

251
00:11:14,529 --> 00:11:19,367
And I think callie likes me
because I'm not a dick so much.

252
00:11:19,401 --> 00:11:20,568
You're fired!

253
00:11:20,602 --> 00:11:23,771
Wait.
I have a better idea.

254
00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:25,740
Teach me to be nice.

255
00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:30,378
You could start
with this wall of hands.

256
00:11:45,426 --> 00:11:48,194
I want one so bad.

257
00:11:48,228 --> 00:11:51,063
Hey, thanks for taking
the time to do this.

258
00:11:51,098 --> 00:11:52,799
You threatened
to remove my liver.

259
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,167
I know.

260
00:11:54,201 --> 00:11:55,435
Still...

261
00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:56,970
Okay,
time for your first lesson.

262
00:11:57,004 --> 00:11:58,405
Let's pretend
we're on a date.

263
00:11:58,439 --> 00:11:59,907
You're you,
and I'll be callie.

264
00:11:59,941 --> 00:12:01,275
Okay.

265
00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:03,277
Oh, two delicious knishes.

266
00:12:03,312 --> 00:12:06,815
Callie, would you like
mustard on your knish?

267
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:08,617
Oh, no, thanks.

268
00:12:08,652 --> 00:12:10,019
I don't like mustard.

269
00:12:10,053 --> 00:12:11,521
Are you [bleep] kidding me?

270
00:12:11,555 --> 00:12:12,655
Everybody likes mustard!

271
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,091
Suck that,
you pile of filth!

272
00:12:15,126 --> 00:12:16,659
Too much passion.

273
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,628
Yeah, that's exactly it,
too much passion.

274
00:12:18,662 --> 00:12:20,263
Okay, let's keep at it.

275
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,100
* do what lovers do *

276
00:12:24,135 --> 00:12:26,603
* right from the start *
* yeah *

277
00:12:26,637 --> 00:12:29,406
* say what lovers say *

278
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,107
* to never part *
* yeah *

279
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,810
* I'm so glad I found you *

280
00:12:34,844 --> 00:12:37,446
* I can't think of anything
but you *

281
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,913
Oh, God!

282
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,484
Okay, plan "c."

283
00:12:43,519 --> 00:12:45,220
Do you know
how to rollerblade?

284
00:12:48,657 --> 00:12:50,525
Mom, you know
I never wanted kids.

285
00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:53,261
But I saw this demon baby,
and now all I can think about

286
00:12:53,296 --> 00:12:55,164
Is squeezing one
out of my skull.

287
00:12:55,198 --> 00:12:56,666
You're in heat, dear.

288
00:12:56,700 --> 00:13:00,303
This is perfectly natural
for a succubus your age.

289
00:13:00,337 --> 00:13:02,472
Why didn't things work out
with you and daddy?

290
00:13:02,506 --> 00:13:06,043
Well, it was
a more confusing time back then.

291
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,511
Being drugged by a cult

292
00:13:07,545 --> 00:13:09,713
And forcibly impregnated
by the devil

293
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:11,481
Was sort of frowned upon.

294
00:13:11,515 --> 00:13:14,851
But you know what, callie?
I wouldn't change a thing.

295
00:13:14,885 --> 00:13:17,154
Then why didn't you have
any more kids after me?

296
00:13:17,188 --> 00:13:18,689
Were you afraid
they'd be demons too?

297
00:13:18,723 --> 00:13:20,290
Oh, for heaven's sake.

298
00:13:20,325 --> 00:13:22,659
Because honestly, mom,
being half human, half demon

299
00:13:22,693 --> 00:13:24,360
Has caused me a lot of problems.

300
00:13:24,395 --> 00:13:26,395
I made a deal with the devil.

301
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:29,798
I got you, and I'm very happy
about that.

302
00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:32,869
That said,
adoption's not a bad idea.

303
00:13:34,538 --> 00:13:37,174
You are so hideous.

304
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:38,709
Who's the spawn of satan?

305
00:13:38,743 --> 00:13:43,147
No, you are.

306
00:13:43,182 --> 00:13:44,883
Fifth floor.
I told you.

307
00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:46,451
Nailed it, friend.

308
00:13:46,486 --> 00:13:48,587
Pretty cute, huh?

309
00:13:48,621 --> 00:13:50,656
Callie, I...

310
00:13:51,924 --> 00:13:54,025
I would love to eat
that tasty little baby.

311
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:56,427
Again, a real mood killer.

312
00:13:56,462 --> 00:13:58,929
And this must be
Mr. Maggotbone.

313
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:00,564
There is no Mr. Maggotbone.

314
00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:01,799
Bone raper.

315
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:03,233
Twayne the bone raper.

316
00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:04,867
Ah, of the connecticut
bone rapers.

317
00:14:04,902 --> 00:14:06,269
One and the same.

318
00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:09,105
Such a proud name
with a proud history.

319
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,773
You must be proud.

320
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,308
Anyway, you're not getting
the kid.

321
00:14:12,343 --> 00:14:13,776
Why?

322
00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:15,578
Because you'd be
a single mother, dear.

323
00:14:15,612 --> 00:14:17,247
That is totally sexist.

324
00:14:17,281 --> 00:14:19,583
It's for your own safety,
trust me.

325
00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:22,587
Once these babies start to molt,
you'll need two demon parents

326
00:14:22,621 --> 00:14:25,423
With proven upper-body strength.

327
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,294
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

328
00:14:29,329 --> 00:14:31,564
Sickeningly...

329
00:14:31,598 --> 00:14:33,065
Yes.

330
00:14:34,468 --> 00:14:36,935
Who needs charm when you
got 'em by the short hairs?

331
00:14:36,969 --> 00:14:38,370
Booyah.

332
00:14:41,462 --> 00:14:42,896
What you doing?

333
00:14:42,931 --> 00:14:45,165
Making a plus-minus list
for marrying Twayne.

334
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,602
Really?

335
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,338
Minuses,
I've got unending misery,

336
00:14:50,372 --> 00:14:52,273
repulsion,
sexless boredom,

337
00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:53,774
the whole barbed penis thing.

338
00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:57,044
- It goes on.
- Pluses?

339
00:14:57,078 --> 00:14:59,280
Get baby and...

340
00:14:59,314 --> 00:15:01,816
Possibly bring about
the end of days.

341
00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:04,119
End of days.
That's a plus?

342
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,455
Well, not for you.

343
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,123
More of a gray area
for demons.

344
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,426
Anyway, I'm marrying Twayne.

345
00:15:10,461 --> 00:15:12,628
What?
That's insanity.

346
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:13,996
Are you jealous?

347
00:15:14,031 --> 00:15:16,032
No, I just thought
he disgusted you.

348
00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,801
Ugh, he does,

349
00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,370
With his barbell nipple rings.

350
00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:20,638
Who does that?

351
00:15:20,672 --> 00:15:21,839
Probably not the best idea

352
00:15:21,873 --> 00:15:23,474
To marry someone
who disgusts you.

353
00:15:23,508 --> 00:15:25,642
I want that baby, Mark.

354
00:15:25,677 --> 00:15:27,478
Besides, it's always been
inevitable

355
00:15:27,513 --> 00:15:29,146
That I'd end up with Twayne.

356
00:15:29,181 --> 00:15:31,282
It's what daddy wants.

357
00:15:34,687 --> 00:15:37,188
The last part,
read that back to me.

358
00:15:37,223 --> 00:15:40,626
"in conclusion, both parties
consent to marriage

359
00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:44,196
As required by state law
for proper demon adoption."

360
00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:46,131
Sounds good.
What do you think?

361
00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:47,499
I'd like
a paragraph confirming

362
00:15:47,534 --> 00:15:48,867
This be a loveless marriage.

363
00:15:48,902 --> 00:15:50,769
As long as I get to watch you
undress at home

364
00:15:50,804 --> 00:15:52,705
On my surveillance system.

365
00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:54,207
Agreed.

366
00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:02,216
I'll draft this and have it
on your desk in half an hour.

367
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,684
Might as well cc yourself.

368
00:16:03,718 --> 00:16:04,785
Of course.

369
00:16:06,621 --> 00:16:09,122
Oh, good stuff.

370
00:16:09,157 --> 00:16:10,691
Oh, yeah.

371
00:16:10,725 --> 00:16:12,926
That is very strong.

372
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,262
You have great hands.

373
00:16:15,296 --> 00:16:16,797
How much extra for a happy...

374
00:16:16,831 --> 00:16:18,698
Mark!

375
00:16:18,733 --> 00:16:21,368
Good to see you there
in my doorway.

376
00:16:21,403 --> 00:16:23,170
How can I help you?

377
00:16:23,205 --> 00:16:25,106
Uh, just wondering
if you had made any headway

378
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:26,707
On tracking down
that birth parent

379
00:16:26,742 --> 00:16:28,075
I was looking for.

380
00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:30,912
Been at it nonstop
since we last spoke.

381
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:34,048
Google says woodlawn cemetery.

382
00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:35,783
Naw, that...that's not it.

383
00:16:35,818 --> 00:16:38,085
Woodlawn cemetery is what you
said, like, three hours ago.

384
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,887
Come on, man!
You're a wizard, for God's sake.

385
00:16:39,922 --> 00:16:41,255
All right.
All right.

386
00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:42,624
Do you have a tooth
or a lock of hair

387
00:16:42,658 --> 00:16:44,092
That belonged to the baby?

388
00:16:44,126 --> 00:16:45,560
Oh, wait. Wait. Wait.

389
00:16:45,594 --> 00:16:47,195
There's some baby spit-up
on this shirt

390
00:16:47,229 --> 00:16:48,963
That I've been wearing
for six straight days.

391
00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:53,836
That's a stretch,
but it just might work.

392
00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:57,205
Okay, there's you and me,

393
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,174
Looking handsome
and very well groomed.

394
00:17:00,209 --> 00:17:02,444
And that must be a house,

395
00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:03,811
His parents' house.

396
00:17:03,846 --> 00:17:05,179
Hang on.

397
00:17:05,214 --> 00:17:07,916
We need to get closer.

398
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:10,752
Wait, this is
that same crap information

399
00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,821
You got off google maps.

400
00:17:12,923 --> 00:17:16,993
Snazzier with the whole
vision thing, though, isn't it?

401
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:21,297
I don't have enough juice
for the both of us.

402
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,933
Sorry, kid.
You're on your own.

403
00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:26,068
Stupid google.

404
00:17:26,102 --> 00:17:27,569
Stupid...

405
00:17:27,603 --> 00:17:29,371
Stupid stock options
never pan out.

406
00:17:29,405 --> 00:17:31,105
Terrible search engine.

407
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:33,374
Might as well have yahoo.

408
00:17:35,644 --> 00:17:37,177
Oh, well.

409
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:38,812
At least I tried, right?

410
00:17:38,846 --> 00:17:41,715
Hey, am I imagining things,
or is this kid, like,

411
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,584
Three times bigger
than he was at the bar?

412
00:17:43,618 --> 00:17:45,219
He's ready for maury povich.

413
00:17:45,253 --> 00:17:47,055
Good thing the adoption's
going through.

414
00:17:47,089 --> 00:17:49,757
You can't place these suckers
once they transform.

415
00:17:49,792 --> 00:17:52,694
Oh, speak of the devil.

416
00:17:52,729 --> 00:17:54,830
What the hell is going on?

417
00:17:55,899 --> 00:17:57,166
Weird.

418
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,869
It looks like a
vagina eating itself.

419
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:01,771
You don't often
see that for free.

420
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,344
You've got to be kidding me!

421
00:18:09,276 --> 00:18:13,209
Either of you have anything to wanna
say before we make this marriage legal?

422
00:18:13,244 --> 00:18:15,344
Let's get this over with?

423
00:18:15,379 --> 00:18:16,846
Stop the marriage.

424
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,014
Mark!

425
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,616
You're here to fight
Twayne to the death

426
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:21,450
and whisk me away.

427
00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:23,952
Let's do this!

428
00:18:25,221 --> 00:18:27,256
Not at all, actually.

429
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:31,026
Wait, I can still do
some whisking.

430
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:32,928
Come with me.

431
00:18:32,963 --> 00:18:34,628
There's something
I want to show you.

432
00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:37,662
What am I supposed
to do about this?

433
00:18:37,696 --> 00:18:39,997
Yeah, we've got a problem,

434
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:43,733
And I'm afraid you're not
gonna like the solution.

435
00:18:43,768 --> 00:18:45,001
A magic spell?

436
00:18:45,035 --> 00:18:47,370
Hmm, yes, that.

437
00:18:49,806 --> 00:18:52,341
No denying the
family resemblance.

438
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:53,943
Yo, who do I got to [...]

439
00:18:53,977 --> 00:18:55,577
to get a fresh diaper
around here?

440
00:18:55,611 --> 00:18:58,046
Yo, baby, wipe your own ass.

441
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,280
I don't understand.

442
00:18:59,315 --> 00:19:00,682
Why were you trying
to sell the baby

443
00:19:00,716 --> 00:19:02,250
If you're the real dad?

444
00:19:02,284 --> 00:19:05,019
I mean, sure, yeah,
I tried to sell the baby,

445
00:19:05,053 --> 00:19:08,054
Only 'cause I was scared
of being a single dad over here.

446
00:19:08,088 --> 00:19:09,255
See?

447
00:19:09,289 --> 00:19:10,923
He loves me
like a father over here.

448
00:19:10,957 --> 00:19:12,958
Plus, I was afraid
I was gonna eat it.

449
00:19:12,992 --> 00:19:14,425
But not no more.

450
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:17,195
You're like a little me
with a smaller [bleep].

451
00:19:17,229 --> 00:19:18,663
Yo, I don't know about that.

452
00:19:18,698 --> 00:19:20,565
Yo, I'm having a lot of fun
over here.

453
00:19:20,599 --> 00:19:22,400
Yo, me too over here.

454
00:19:22,435 --> 00:19:24,935
Yo, I love you,
choking victim.

455
00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:27,305
Yo, I love you too, daddy.

456
00:19:27,339 --> 00:19:28,906
They are pretty cute together.

457
00:19:34,245 --> 00:19:36,913
Yeah, I had to admit it.

458
00:19:36,947 --> 00:19:39,448
Watching that dad
having such a good time

459
00:19:39,483 --> 00:19:41,250
With his little boy

460
00:19:41,284 --> 00:19:43,552
Made me feel super bad
about having, like,

461
00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:47,121
No interest whatsoever
in having kids.

462
00:19:47,156 --> 00:19:51,192
Seriously, hot pokers in my eyes
sounded more appealing.

463
00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,495
Oh, did you just conjure me?

464
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:57,464
No, but come in.

465
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:01,801
I just wanted to say
I'm sorry.

466
00:20:01,836 --> 00:20:04,570
I guess my urge
to spawn soldiers

467
00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:07,774
For satan's dark army
made me lose perspective.

468
00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:10,709
Hey, hey, you don't need
to feel bad about it.

469
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:14,713
It was actually kind of nice
to see your softer side.

470
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,983
I'll show you
my softer side.

471
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:21,552
Maybe you could make it
blink, like christmas lights?

472
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:23,888
Oh, I can definitely
do that.

473
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,658
* yeah, baby *

474
00:20:27,692 --> 00:20:28,793
* show you right *

475
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,827
* work that three hole *

476
00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:35,232
Christ, there's bone dust
everywhere.

477
00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:37,701
Sorry.
It's got to come off.

478
00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:39,603
It'll get infected.

479
00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:42,973
So painful.
So painful.

480
00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:44,575
Oh, God, I think
he's still conscious.

481
00:20:44,609 --> 00:20:46,010
Should I hit him
with more ether?

482
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:49,313
No, I can probably
get it from here.

483
00:20:49,347 --> 00:20:51,114
Just hold him down.

484
00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:53,850
This is going to smart.

485
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:55,485
Twayne, just blink
if it hurts, buddy.

486
00:20:55,519 --> 00:20:57,953
Can't... Blink.

487
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000
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