1 00:00:02,474 --> 00:00:05,804 Danger can come in all forms. 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,129 Da-doop. 3 00:00:07,131 --> 00:00:08,832 Sometimes, it can come in 4 00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:12,870 the most seemingly innocent and unlikely of places. 5 00:00:15,543 --> 00:00:17,276 Oh, my. 6 00:00:18,713 --> 00:00:20,780 Excuse me, but how much are you charging 7 00:00:20,782 --> 00:00:23,951 for that strange and peculiar plant in your store window? 8 00:00:23,953 --> 00:00:26,254 Say what? That ain't for sale. 9 00:00:26,256 --> 00:00:27,455 That's my son. 10 00:00:27,457 --> 00:00:29,292 Who you calling peculiar? 11 00:00:29,294 --> 00:00:33,163 No, no, no. I'm talking about that. 12 00:00:33,165 --> 00:00:36,634 Oh, that? $7.95. 13 00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,136 Come again. 14 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,172 Dad, why'd you sell her that plant? 15 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,875 It's as cursed as Michael Richards' career. 16 00:00:41,877 --> 00:00:45,179 Because I hate old people. But I loves money. 17 00:00:45,181 --> 00:00:46,847 Ka-ching! 18 00:00:46,849 --> 00:00:49,384 Sync by mczolly www.addic7ed.com 19 00:00:49,386 --> 00:00:50,886 Oh, my. 20 00:00:56,829 --> 00:00:58,829 Shake those hips, ladies. 21 00:00:58,831 --> 00:01:01,566 Yeah, don't be afraid to put your ass into it. 22 00:01:01,568 --> 00:01:04,337 Huh? Well, uh, this is awkward. 23 00:01:04,339 --> 00:01:06,406 What, oh, you're the only one who's allowed 24 00:01:06,408 --> 00:01:07,941 to shop at Tommy Bahama. 25 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,878 Where's the goddamn Porter? 26 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,749 Here, kid, get this to my room. 27 00:01:13,751 --> 00:01:16,620 Look who it is! Our entertainment. 28 00:01:16,622 --> 00:01:18,755 Are you sure this scheme is gonna work? 29 00:01:18,757 --> 00:01:20,358 I got a lot riding on this. 30 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,193 Are you kidding? Look at these rubes. 31 00:01:22,195 --> 00:01:23,562 We'll make out like bandits. 32 00:01:23,564 --> 00:01:25,497 Hey, I gave my last quarter to the Porter. 33 00:01:25,499 --> 00:01:27,000 You think you could hook me up 34 00:01:27,002 --> 00:01:28,468 with a little walking-around cash? 35 00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:29,837 Oh, uh...Hey! 36 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:32,072 Mark! Uh, so glad you could make it. 37 00:01:32,074 --> 00:01:35,043 A free cruise? Uh, yeah. 38 00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:36,712 Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss it. 39 00:01:36,714 --> 00:01:38,681 Uh, Mark, don't get excited. 40 00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:40,517 It's a free cruise around New York City's islands. 41 00:01:40,519 --> 00:01:43,988 Well, then the parrots on this thing 42 00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:45,290 are pretty misleading. 43 00:01:45,292 --> 00:01:49,628 Okay? Just saying. 44 00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:51,564 Uh-oh, it's magic time. 45 00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:52,899 Who's ready for a magic show, gang? 46 00:01:52,901 --> 00:01:54,201 Out of my way! 47 00:01:54,203 --> 00:01:57,072 I want my mind blown by illusions. 48 00:01:56,774 --> 00:02:00,443 Wow, these cruises really cater to the geriatric set. 49 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,480 Callie, why are you locking the doors? 50 00:02:03,482 --> 00:02:05,583 Shut up and take your seat, Mr. Questions. 51 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:09,254 And now, let's give a big, warm welcome to... 52 00:02:09,256 --> 00:02:13,393 The amazing Leonard! 53 00:02:13,395 --> 00:02:14,661 Yah! 54 00:02:14,663 --> 00:02:18,466 Uh-uh-uh. Unh-unh-unh. 55 00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:25,108 Good evening, I'm the amazing Leonard. 56 00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:28,613 I'm here to blow your minds with a little magic-- 57 00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,248 I am so ready for that. 58 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,886 And talk to you about a wonderful opportunity 59 00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:37,724 that will ma all of your problems disappear. 60 00:02:37,726 --> 00:02:41,329 The answer, my friends, is called... 61 00:02:41,331 --> 00:02:42,964 Going zombie. 62 00:02:42,966 --> 00:02:44,433 ♪ Going zombie ♪ 63 00:02:44,435 --> 00:02:47,637 My free cruise is a zombie conversion scheme? 64 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:48,939 Thanks a lot, guys. 65 00:02:48,941 --> 00:02:51,175 Ah, I see we have a few zombies 66 00:02:51,177 --> 00:02:53,078 in the audience tonight. 67 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,746 Would any of you-- 68 00:02:54,748 --> 00:02:56,816 whom I've never met prior to this engagement-- 69 00:02:56,818 --> 00:02:58,985 be interested in coming up onstage 70 00:02:58,987 --> 00:03:01,856 and sharing the benefits of your lifestyle? 71 00:03:01,858 --> 00:03:04,258 Uh, uh, uh, yeah. 72 00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:09,199 Before going zombie, I was run down and lifeless. 73 00:03:09,201 --> 00:03:12,103 Now, I'm never tired and always up for fun. 74 00:03:12,105 --> 00:03:14,438 Wheee! 75 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,541 Oh, no, I lost my arm. 76 00:03:16,543 --> 00:03:17,976 Here's another one. 77 00:03:17,978 --> 00:03:19,545 Good as new. 78 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:23,117 All of this, plus eternal life as a walking corpse, 79 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:26,287 for only 16 payments of $99. 80 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,458 Now, if we can just bring up the house lights, 81 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:34,798 you can start making your way to the conversion table. 82 00:03:36,802 --> 00:03:39,403 Meep. 83 00:03:39,405 --> 00:03:43,076 Oh, that's it. How low can you go, ladies? 84 00:03:43,078 --> 00:03:44,644 Ah-choo! 85 00:03:44,646 --> 00:03:47,481 Oh, gesund--hey! Where did you get that lei? 86 00:03:47,483 --> 00:03:49,751 I was specifically told they were unavailable. 87 00:03:49,753 --> 00:03:52,721 Oh, this? I made it from a plant I bought. 88 00:03:52,723 --> 00:03:54,423 But I'm afraid I might be allergic. 89 00:03:54,425 --> 00:03:55,858 I'm sorry. 90 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,628 Would you like a pull off of my nasal spray? 91 00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,263 It's maximum strength. 92 00:03:59,265 --> 00:04:01,399 Oh, tell you what. Why don't you just take it? 93 00:04:01,401 --> 00:04:04,236 Now at least one of us will get "lei'd" on this cruise. 94 00:04:04,238 --> 00:04:05,504 He-he-he. 95 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:06,739 Ew--ugh. 96 00:04:06,741 --> 00:04:08,275 Well, I knew it was only a matter of time 97 00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:11,279 before somebody made that joke. 98 00:04:13,248 --> 00:04:15,317 Thanks for a good time, Randall. 99 00:04:15,319 --> 00:04:18,388 We better get going before there's nothing left of you. 100 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:21,525 Thank you, ladies. It was a pleasure. 101 00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,561 Hey, Mark, come on in. Join the stew. 102 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,497 Ew. You know what? 103 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:28,267 I'm just gonna wait for that dead skin to boil away first. 104 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,503 Suit yourself. 105 00:04:30,505 --> 00:04:34,007 Mmm, this is what I'm talking about. 106 00:04:34,009 --> 00:04:36,311 I'm relaxing with my buddy. I got my lei. 107 00:04:36,313 --> 00:04:38,647 Hey! 108 00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:41,651 Correction, I had my lei. 109 00:04:43,255 --> 00:04:48,126 Hmm. Ah--oh, yes! 110 00:04:48,128 --> 00:04:50,128 Oh, God, yes. 111 00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:52,265 Randall, are you okay? 112 00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:54,935 Oh, yeah, man. 113 00:04:54,937 --> 00:04:56,437 That is some lei. 114 00:04:56,439 --> 00:04:59,241 That is getting all up in my cavity. 115 00:04:59,243 --> 00:05:01,844 I'll, uh, leave you to your soak. 116 00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:08,352 Yeah, getting rich would be a lot easier 117 00:05:08,354 --> 00:05:10,455 if I had something people wanted to buy. 118 00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:12,424 Burn in hell, Steve blobs! 119 00:05:12,426 --> 00:05:16,196 My God, it's a new strain of drosera muscipala, 120 00:05:16,198 --> 00:05:17,664 the incredibly rare plant 121 00:05:17,666 --> 00:05:19,867 with strange and unpredictable properties. 122 00:05:19,869 --> 00:05:21,369 It's my lucky day. 123 00:05:21,371 --> 00:05:25,607 See you losers later. Meep. 124 00:05:25,609 --> 00:05:28,344 Randall, are you feeling okay? 125 00:05:28,346 --> 00:05:30,281 You look a lighter shade of green, 126 00:05:30,283 --> 00:05:31,949 and your eye doesn't normally... 127 00:05:31,951 --> 00:05:33,852 Pulsate like that. 128 00:05:33,854 --> 00:05:38,357 Yeah, just a cold. Maybe some zombie pinkeye. 129 00:05:38,359 --> 00:05:40,694 It's--no--big-- 130 00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:47,336 Smells like someone had bad buffet. 131 00:05:47,338 --> 00:05:50,573 Now, I'm taking you home to bed. No arguments. 132 00:05:54,714 --> 00:05:55,946 Randall. 133 00:05:59,382 --> 00:06:01,447 Hey, buddy, how's it going? 134 00:06:01,449 --> 00:06:03,113 Made you some chicken-noodle soup, 135 00:06:03,115 --> 00:06:04,813 some chamomile tea. 136 00:06:04,815 --> 00:06:08,312 And...You appear to be a plant. 137 00:06:08,314 --> 00:06:11,812 Randall, wake up! Randall! 138 00:06:11,814 --> 00:06:15,145 What the-- 139 00:06:16,414 --> 00:06:18,544 M-Mark. 140 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,411 Mark? Mark! 141 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:23,611 Crazy cruise, huh? How about that hot tub? 142 00:06:23,613 --> 00:06:25,210 Why you looking at me like that? 143 00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:28,877 - Don't judge me. - Wha--ah-- 144 00:06:28,879 --> 00:06:30,476 Hmm? 145 00:06:30,478 --> 00:06:32,209 Craaaap! 146 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,642 Make me rich, o strange and mysterious plant. 147 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,975 Ah! My eyes! 148 00:06:43,977 --> 00:06:46,474 My beautiful eyes! 149 00:06:47,776 --> 00:06:51,106 My eyes. My beautiful eyes! 150 00:06:51,108 --> 00:06:53,906 Nonow all I need is a fool and his money. 151 00:06:53,908 --> 00:06:56,973 It's a unique business opportunity. 152 00:06:56,975 --> 00:06:59,806 A green pile of goo? 153 00:06:59,808 --> 00:07:03,505 Ooh, say no more, partner. I'm all in. 154 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,239 Don't you want to know what it does? 155 00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:08,304 No, take this blank check and get out of my office 156 00:07:08,306 --> 00:07:09,837 before you change your mind, Leonard. 157 00:07:09,839 --> 00:07:15,070 - But Twayne. - All right, two blank checks. 158 00:07:15,072 --> 00:07:17,669 So the very nice gentleman from the nursery 159 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,170 says you are going to love this plant food. 160 00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:22,102 I'm not eating that garbage. 161 00:07:22,104 --> 00:07:24,302 Get me a human's brain to eat. 162 00:07:24,304 --> 00:07:27,969 Come on, Randall, you know human brains are illegal. 163 00:07:27,971 --> 00:07:29,235 You did this to me 164 00:07:29,237 --> 00:07:30,901 with your stupid lei in the hot tub. 165 00:07:30,903 --> 00:07:32,568 Well, that may be true, but-- 166 00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:36,200 Brains! Brains, brains, brains! 167 00:07:36,202 --> 00:07:39,501 I'll see what I can do. 168 00:07:39,503 --> 00:07:41,933 All right, Powers. Get what you need. 169 00:07:41,935 --> 00:07:43,167 In and out. 170 00:07:43,169 --> 00:07:46,799 Nice and easy. Pick that lock. 171 00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,133 Come on. Come on! 172 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,565 Ahh, screw it. Yah! 173 00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:54,065 Randall. Are you here? 174 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:57,298 Whoa, looks like money really does grow on trees. 175 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,631 Where's Mark? 176 00:07:58,633 --> 00:08:01,431 I'll be taking care of you tonight. 177 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:03,597 Uncle Leonard needs some special leaves 178 00:08:03,599 --> 00:08:05,164 to make his potion. 179 00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:08,063 Don't touch me there. Your hands are cold. 180 00:08:08,065 --> 00:08:09,764 This won't hurt a bit. 181 00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:12,996 Oh, God, that hurts! Oh, God! 182 00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:17,095 Oh, my stamen! Leave some of the stamen! 183 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:20,129 Oh, my God, that hurts worse than the last part! 184 00:08:20,131 --> 00:08:24,395 The last part was bad, but this part is worse! 185 00:08:24,397 --> 00:08:26,294 Huuah, you can do this. 186 00:08:26,296 --> 00:08:28,694 Get in, get the brains, and get out. 187 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,460 Ah! You must be señor Gomez. 188 00:08:33,462 --> 00:08:38,326 Welcome to mi casa. Hola, and come on in. 189 00:08:38,328 --> 00:08:40,292 You're not deaf, are you? 190 00:08:40,294 --> 00:08:42,558 They told me they wouldn't send any more defectives 191 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,092 down from the temp agency. 192 00:08:44,094 --> 00:08:49,125 No, señor. Uh, yo soy, uh, not deaf. 193 00:08:49,127 --> 00:08:51,958 Oh, good. I'm Grimes, the night watchman. 194 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,824 Oops, I forgot. 195 00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:56,090 He said you don't "speak-a-English." 196 00:08:56,092 --> 00:08:57,923 Sí, sí. 197 00:08:57,925 --> 00:09:00,390 Don't worry, Gomez. We'll take care of that. 198 00:09:00,392 --> 00:09:02,723 I'm getting a Spanish-to-English dictionary 199 00:09:02,725 --> 00:09:04,756 so we can, uh, habla. 200 00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:06,189 Okay, abrigo? 201 00:09:06,191 --> 00:09:08,689 Muchas gracias...Abrigo. 202 00:09:08,691 --> 00:09:10,888 Okay, let's get you set up in the crapper. 203 00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:13,688 And let me apologize about that in advance. 204 00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,621 Doctor said I shouldn't eat pierogies anymore. 205 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,421 I got a real weakness. 206 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:21,287 But you got all night to get that drain clear of pierogies. 207 00:09:21,289 --> 00:09:25,754 With this [Bleep] stick, I dub thee, noche Gomez. 208 00:09:28,422 --> 00:09:30,419 Can't believe I'm doing this. 209 00:09:30,421 --> 00:09:32,085 What have I become? 210 00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:35,885 I'm stealing brains; My accent is so racist. 211 00:09:35,887 --> 00:09:37,718 Have I gone loco? 212 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,752 I guess it's not wrong 213 00:09:39,754 --> 00:09:43,251 to steal brains if they're from bad dead people. 214 00:09:43,253 --> 00:09:45,350 Better get these home before Grimes sees me. 215 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,117 Gomez, what are you doing here in the spooky room? 216 00:09:48,119 --> 00:09:50,883 Grab your [Bleep] bucket and meet me in stall two. 217 00:09:50,885 --> 00:09:53,716 We got a nuclear meltdown. 218 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:58,049 Ugh, I can still smell the pierogi in my mustache. 219 00:09:58,051 --> 00:10:00,615 Wait, why am I still wearing this? 220 00:10:00,617 --> 00:10:03,848 Okay, pal, good news. I got your brains-- 221 00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:07,215 oh, my God. What is happening to you? 222 00:10:07,217 --> 00:10:11,180 The bearded lady. She pruned me, Mark. 223 00:10:11,182 --> 00:10:12,680 It was humiliating. 224 00:10:12,682 --> 00:10:15,413 I have no idea what you are saying right now. 225 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,179 Gah. Ow! 226 00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,613 Ah, I'm so sorry. What can I do? 227 00:10:19,615 --> 00:10:22,113 Feed me, Mark! Feed me! 228 00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:23,579 Here, eat these. 229 00:10:25,114 --> 00:10:27,845 Huh? Nothing's happening. 230 00:10:27,847 --> 00:10:30,178 Do something, Mark. It's not working. 231 00:10:33,546 --> 00:10:34,944 Oops. Spoke too soon. 232 00:10:34,946 --> 00:10:36,977 Those brains go right through you. 233 00:10:36,979 --> 00:10:38,744 I'll get my [Bleep] stick. 234 00:10:41,837 --> 00:10:43,674 I couldn't find any solutions on the Internet, 235 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,214 but what I can do is try to make you comfortable. 236 00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:47,985 Things don't have to be any different. 237 00:10:47,987 --> 00:10:49,789 The bathroom is now our living room. 238 00:10:49,791 --> 00:10:51,761 The bathtub is now our couch. 239 00:10:51,763 --> 00:10:54,100 I'm a Mexican janitor. You're a plant. 240 00:10:54,102 --> 00:10:55,671 Nothing has changed. 241 00:10:55,673 --> 00:10:58,411 Dude, I am really starting to worry about you. 242 00:10:58,413 --> 00:11:00,616 Here's the remote. I'm late for work. 243 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:03,156 Grimes had dinner at pierogi-ville. 244 00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:04,393 Don't wait up. 245 00:11:04,395 --> 00:11:08,236 Don't forget my brains. 246 00:11:08,238 --> 00:11:09,773 I'm Leonard Powers, 247 00:11:09,775 --> 00:11:12,814 here to tell you about a new, exciting invention. 248 00:11:12,816 --> 00:11:15,821 Introducing my organic Powers Paste. 249 00:11:15,823 --> 00:11:19,731 Gentlemen, tired of being that creepy old bald guy at the club? 250 00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:22,973 Well, my paste will make you look young enough 251 00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:24,576 to date a high schooler. 252 00:11:24,578 --> 00:11:26,481 Mm, mm, mm. 253 00:11:26,483 --> 00:11:29,756 Your secret's safe with me. Bing! 254 00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:31,527 Hi, mom. 255 00:11:31,529 --> 00:11:35,203 Ladies, wish you could put your biological clock on snooze? 256 00:11:35,205 --> 00:11:37,241 - Wha? - Forever? 257 00:11:37,243 --> 00:11:38,578 Oh-ho, oh, yeah. 258 00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:40,984 Who's ready to get pregnant! 259 00:11:40,986 --> 00:11:42,254 That's right, 260 00:11:42,256 --> 00:11:44,626 the fountain of youth can be yours. 261 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:58,461 ♪ ♪ 262 00:12:00,334 --> 00:12:03,607 They won't have Leonard Powers to kick around anymore. 263 00:12:03,609 --> 00:12:05,344 Oh, yeah, oh-- 264 00:12:05,346 --> 00:12:09,756 Ooh, you can stop dancing now, Blanche. 265 00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:11,728 Randall, it's been a week. 266 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,466 The brains don't seem to be doing any good. 267 00:12:13,468 --> 00:12:17,074 Plus, I seriously cannot clean up any more 268 00:12:17,076 --> 00:12:18,444 of Grimes' pierogi [Bleep]. 269 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,716 So, what, you're just giving up on me? 270 00:12:20,718 --> 00:12:23,356 That's not what friends do. 271 00:12:23,358 --> 00:12:25,094 I've got to level with you, buddy. 272 00:12:25,096 --> 00:12:27,534 I've killed every plant I've ever owned. 273 00:12:27,536 --> 00:12:30,641 This is Ted, the ficus I had in college. 274 00:12:30,643 --> 00:12:33,181 He didn't even make it to Thanksgiving break. 275 00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:34,551 This is my cactus, Gary. Right. 276 00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:36,489 - He dried out. - Gary! 277 00:12:36,491 --> 00:12:39,396 And finally, Evelyn. She's beautiful, isn't she? 278 00:12:39,398 --> 00:12:42,171 One hot August afternoon, I left her out in the sun. 279 00:12:42,173 --> 00:12:44,744 Ah! But she's plastic. 280 00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:47,082 Oh, my God. I'm gonna die. 281 00:12:48,756 --> 00:12:52,129 I guess I have some pierogi stool to scrub. 282 00:12:52,131 --> 00:12:54,201 Mm, yes, Gomez, you certainly do. 283 00:12:56,674 --> 00:13:00,048 I'm a busy man. You've got 30 seconds. 284 00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,487 Retroactive to the beginning of this sentence. 285 00:13:02,489 --> 00:13:05,328 I'll cut to the chase. We own your company, Powers. 286 00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:07,132 That's funny, it sounded like you said 287 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,402 you own my company. 288 00:13:08,404 --> 00:13:10,407 That is funny. 289 00:13:10,409 --> 00:13:12,312 Actually, it's our company. 290 00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:14,451 That's what you agreed to when Twayne lent you the money. 291 00:13:14,453 --> 00:13:17,792 Under demonic law, we maintain sole ownership. 292 00:13:17,794 --> 00:13:19,731 Here's how it's gonna go, old man. 293 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,170 You're gonna hand me that company, 294 00:13:22,172 --> 00:13:25,044 and I'm gonna hand you this check. 295 00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:28,854 Hm, wha? A billion dollars! 296 00:13:28,856 --> 00:13:31,560 You moron. I said a thousand dollars. 297 00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:34,067 Aren't there nine zeroes in a thousand? 298 00:13:34,069 --> 00:13:37,207 Here's the keys to my office. Enjoy your company. 299 00:13:38,714 --> 00:13:40,215 Nailed it. 300 00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:42,654 How rich are you? 301 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,927 How much is 12 zeroes? 302 00:13:44,929 --> 00:13:46,397 Hey, stranger! 303 00:13:46,399 --> 00:13:48,069 I'll give you 30 grand to film me 304 00:13:48,071 --> 00:13:50,441 boning my ladies on the hood of my Lambo. 305 00:13:50,443 --> 00:13:54,050 Oh, Mark. Hey, nice mustache. 306 00:13:54,052 --> 00:13:57,091 Just wanted to let you know I sold my company 307 00:13:57,093 --> 00:13:59,897 to Twayne and Callie for a billion dollars. 308 00:13:59,899 --> 00:14:03,640 Your company? That you created a week ago? 309 00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,379 That's the one. 310 00:14:05,381 --> 00:14:08,619 I screwed them over by not telling them 311 00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:11,327 that Randall's the secret ingredient to Powers Paste. 312 00:14:11,329 --> 00:14:13,399 But if they ever figure that out, 313 00:14:13,401 --> 00:14:15,169 they might try to kill you to get to him. 314 00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:16,807 If you get in a jam, 315 00:14:16,809 --> 00:14:20,482 this magic bike will take you to me. 316 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:24,125 Now, it's time for me to quietly make my escape. 317 00:14:24,127 --> 00:14:25,796 Wait, wait, wait. Leonard. 318 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,804 Hey, stranger! You want to make 30 grand? 319 00:14:31,846 --> 00:14:36,389 ♪ ♪ 320 00:14:36,391 --> 00:14:38,494 What's happening to me? 321 00:14:38,496 --> 00:14:43,540 I look old again. Damn you, Twayne-o Paste. 322 00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:47,216 My face. My beautiful lady face. 323 00:14:53,868 --> 00:14:55,871 I think I'm getting split ends. 324 00:14:55,873 --> 00:14:57,809 We have a bigger problem. 325 00:14:57,811 --> 00:14:59,514 Leonard screwed you over, Twayne. 326 00:14:59,516 --> 00:15:01,352 This stuff is worthless. 327 00:15:01,354 --> 00:15:05,395 I have compared your batch with Leonard's original, 328 00:15:05,397 --> 00:15:07,901 and there is a biological component missing. 329 00:15:07,903 --> 00:15:11,042 - What is it? - I have no idea. 330 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:15,387 But the DNA is part plant, part zombie. 331 00:15:15,389 --> 00:15:16,723 Where in the hell 332 00:15:16,725 --> 00:15:19,597 would Leonard have access to a zom-- 333 00:15:19,599 --> 00:15:21,635 ugh. Get the car. 334 00:15:21,637 --> 00:15:25,144 But you didn't finish your sentence. 335 00:15:25,146 --> 00:15:28,118 Randall, I'm sorry, I've tried everything. 336 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,658 I think it's time to call the center for disease control. 337 00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:33,498 No, Mark, don't sell me out to the feds. 338 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,437 They'll E.T. my ass. 339 00:15:35,439 --> 00:15:37,809 They'll alien-autopsy my business. 340 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,614 Maybe Leonard will know what to do. 341 00:15:41,119 --> 00:15:43,890 Mark. I need to talk to you. 342 00:15:43,892 --> 00:15:45,895 - And Randall too. - Shut up, Twayne. 343 00:15:45,897 --> 00:15:47,900 We got to get out of here. 344 00:15:47,902 --> 00:15:50,274 If anyone's going to kill you, it's going to be me. 345 00:15:50,276 --> 00:15:52,445 No, not those again. 346 00:15:52,447 --> 00:15:56,155 Sorry, pal. This is for your own good. 347 00:15:58,262 --> 00:16:00,633 Come on, buddy. We're going for a ride. 348 00:16:00,635 --> 00:16:03,473 Kick it in. 349 00:16:03,475 --> 00:16:05,879 Magic bike, wake up. 350 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,149 Magic bike. 351 00:16:11,997 --> 00:16:14,334 There he is. Aim for the tires. 352 00:16:14,336 --> 00:16:16,072 Whoa-ah! 353 00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:19,915 Aaah! 354 00:16:19,217 --> 00:16:22,022 I got no leg room in here, and I have to pee. 355 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,193 Can we fly by The Statue of Liberty? 356 00:16:24,195 --> 00:16:25,730 Can I watch a DVD? 357 00:16:25,732 --> 00:16:27,635 Where's it-- is there a DVD player? 358 00:16:27,637 --> 00:16:28,838 Can I watch Shrek 2? 359 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,110 I really should have taken a cab. 360 00:16:37,853 --> 00:16:40,751 - Leonard, thank God. - That's the bearded lady. 361 00:16:40,753 --> 00:16:42,351 Were you, uh, followed? 362 00:16:42,353 --> 00:16:46,016 Uhhh. Feel weak. 363 00:16:46,018 --> 00:16:47,482 What's happening to him? 364 00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:49,549 Let's get inside my impenetrable 365 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:54,348 billion-dollar compound, and I'll tell you. 366 00:16:54,350 --> 00:16:56,781 Voila. 367 00:17:01,115 --> 00:17:02,447 Leonard, what is all this? 368 00:17:02,449 --> 00:17:04,113 What can I say? 369 00:17:04,115 --> 00:17:08,579 Accidentally creating a miracle cream has its perks. 370 00:17:08,581 --> 00:17:11,512 No, I mean what is wrong with Randall? 371 00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:13,344 Oh, that. 372 00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:16,977 Turns out Randall was pollinated by drosera muscipala, 373 00:17:16,979 --> 00:17:19,944 a rare plant that reproduces using a living host. 374 00:17:19,946 --> 00:17:22,476 Wow, Randall has had... 375 00:17:22,478 --> 00:17:25,309 Relations with many different species before, 376 00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:27,608 but this is the first I've heard of him getting with a plant. 377 00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:29,075 Will he be okay? 378 00:17:29,077 --> 00:17:32,141 Once the reproduction cycle is complete, 379 00:17:32,143 --> 00:17:33,774 Randall will emerge anew 380 00:17:33,776 --> 00:17:39,140 with a healthy bouquet of offspring. 381 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,939 Do we have time for a quick tour? 382 00:17:42,907 --> 00:17:45,838 Man, he looks terrible. 383 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,304 How much water and sunlight have you been giving him? 384 00:17:49,306 --> 00:17:52,736 Well...Uh, none, really. 385 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,636 Sun's what killed Evelyn. 386 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:55,902 None! 387 00:17:55,904 --> 00:17:57,936 What the [Bleep] were you thinking? 388 00:17:57,938 --> 00:17:59,969 He's a plant, for God's sakes. 389 00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:03,168 But he asked for brains. Human brains. 390 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:07,167 Well, of course he asked for brains, you idiot. 391 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,934 He's part zombie. 392 00:18:08,936 --> 00:18:11,166 Do you feed a baby candy all day 393 00:18:11,168 --> 00:18:12,632 just because that's what it asks for? 394 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,566 Braaaaains. 395 00:18:16,568 --> 00:18:19,698 Jesus, we have to get him to the greenhouse, 396 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,830 or he'll die before he can reproduce. 397 00:18:23,899 --> 00:18:25,931 Crap, you were followed. 398 00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:28,496 Oh, man, she found my decoy bush. 399 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:31,663 Mm, let's roll. 400 00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:38,261 ♪ ♪ 401 00:18:38,263 --> 00:18:42,494 Sorry, the monorail's being repaired.. 402 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:45,927 ♪ ♪ 403 00:18:47,161 --> 00:18:48,825 Nice shot, great one. 404 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,792 - Is that-- - Wayne Gretzky? 405 00:18:50,794 --> 00:18:53,325 And the Tampa Bay Lightning. I bought both of them. 406 00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:56,491 Wayne was tricky, but no one will miss the lightning. 407 00:18:56,864 --> 00:18:58,761 Do you like my herb garden? 408 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,527 Horticulture is my new passion. 409 00:19:01,529 --> 00:19:02,960 How did you learn all this? 410 00:19:02,962 --> 00:19:05,060 A billion dollars really gave me the means 411 00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:06,760 to explore my green thumb. 412 00:19:06,762 --> 00:19:08,626 It's all in the hydroponics, really. 413 00:19:08,628 --> 00:19:10,393 Here, try. 414 00:19:10,395 --> 00:19:11,659 Earthy. Delicious. 415 00:19:11,661 --> 00:19:14,991 Uh, not for nothing, 416 00:19:14,993 --> 00:19:17,558 but they seem to have brought a battering ram. 417 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:22,190 Quickly, into the mulch garden he must go. 418 00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:24,457 Careful. Gently. 419 00:19:24,459 --> 00:19:26,056 I'm a delicate flower. 420 00:19:26,058 --> 00:19:31,855 Now for a little old-fashioned water and sunlight. 421 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:35,987 Oh, yes, that's it. 422 00:19:35,989 --> 00:19:38,187 Oh, God, water and sunlight. 423 00:19:38,189 --> 00:19:39,753 I mean, it seems obvious now 424 00:19:39,755 --> 00:19:41,586 that's what I would have needed as a plant. 425 00:19:41,588 --> 00:19:43,486 It's working. 426 00:19:43,488 --> 00:19:45,119 Hand over the zombie plant. 427 00:19:45,121 --> 00:19:49,185 Too late. It's gone. 428 00:19:51,153 --> 00:19:54,350 Behold, Randall is reborn. 429 00:19:54,352 --> 00:19:57,183 He has no value for you now. 430 00:19:57,185 --> 00:19:58,683 What about the money? 431 00:19:58,685 --> 00:20:00,149 What about my hair? 432 00:20:00,151 --> 00:20:01,782 And what about my testicles? 433 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,649 You know what, answer my question first. 434 00:20:03,651 --> 00:20:06,215 They'll grow in. Probably. 435 00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:07,881 Leonard Powers. 436 00:20:07,883 --> 00:20:08,980 Who wants to know? 437 00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,676 I do. I'm here to notify you 438 00:20:11,814 --> 00:20:14,875 of a massive class-action-lawsuit against you, 439 00:20:14,877 --> 00:20:16,974 for negligent business practices, 440 00:20:16,976 --> 00:20:18,707 false advertising, 441 00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:21,874 and willfully deceiving thousands of bald guys. 442 00:20:26,207 --> 00:20:30,239 We all wish we could come up with the next big thing. 443 00:20:30,241 --> 00:20:32,071 And...Sold! 444 00:20:32,073 --> 00:20:35,871 Not my diamond-encrusted toilet. 445 00:20:35,873 --> 00:20:38,271 But not everything that happens overnight 446 00:20:38,273 --> 00:20:40,004 is a success. 447 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:43,103 Sometimes it's best to just be grateful 448 00:20:43,105 --> 00:20:44,836 for what we already have. 449 00:20:44,838 --> 00:20:46,469 It's funny, all this started 450 00:20:46,471 --> 00:20:48,135 because I borrowed some old woman's lei. 451 00:20:48,137 --> 00:20:49,935 Oh, my near-death is funny to you. 452 00:20:49,937 --> 00:20:51,568 I was going to stop using 453 00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:53,234 your toothbrush to groom my pubes. 454 00:20:53,236 --> 00:20:55,400 Oh, look at this pretty posy. 455 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,366 You never learn.