1
00:00:00,152 --> 00:00:03,739
Some people just look like trouble.
2
00:00:03,741 --> 00:00:05,874
[Cackling]
3
00:00:05,876 --> 00:00:08,610
Burn, mother[bleep], burn!
4
00:00:08,612 --> 00:00:11,458
But looks can be deceiving.
5
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,866
Pretty sure that violates
the term of your parole, Jerry.
6
00:00:14,986 --> 00:00:15,920
[Panting]
7
00:00:15,922 --> 00:00:16,921
[Grunts]
8
00:00:16,923 --> 00:00:18,399
Whoa! Why?
9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,491
[Grunts]
10
00:00:19,493 --> 00:00:22,227
They never built a jam jar
that could hold me.
11
00:00:22,229 --> 00:00:23,395
[Laughs]
12
00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:25,649
I'll torch your ass, Grimes.
13
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,884
Hey, keep that up, and I won't
poke any holes in your lid.
14
00:00:28,886 --> 00:00:30,286
[Intense music]
15
00:00:30,288 --> 00:00:32,489
[Cackling]
16
00:00:34,706 --> 00:00:37,741
As you all know,
I apprehended serial arsonist
17
00:00:37,743 --> 00:00:39,971
Jerry "the Fire Ant" McMillan
last night.
18
00:00:40,091 --> 00:00:43,267
2.1 centimeters of pure evil.
19
00:00:43,387 --> 00:00:46,047
I say we leave him
to rot in the dungeon.
20
00:00:46,049 --> 00:00:48,251
Not to put a damper
on the vigilante meeting,
21
00:00:48,371 --> 00:00:50,466
but he has the right
to a week of counseling
22
00:00:50,586 --> 00:00:52,453
before his punishment is determined.
23
00:00:52,455 --> 00:00:55,354
The only therapist Jerry needs
is the electric chair.
24
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:59,090
No, the problem is that
nobody ever dug deep enough.
25
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,405
I say we give Mark a shot.
26
00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:04,897
Sir, with all due respect,
that [bleep] dumb as [bleep].
27
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:05,932
Are you crazy?
28
00:01:05,934 --> 00:01:07,133
You bet.
29
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,702
I'm bat[bleep] crazy in love.
30
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:12,073
Those Cupids at eHarmony matched me
31
00:01:12,075 --> 00:01:15,409
with the exact opposite of what
I thought I was looking for.
32
00:01:15,411 --> 00:01:17,778
She's a female kindergarten teacher
33
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:21,550
who's taught me that
one plus one equals everything.
34
00:01:21,552 --> 00:01:23,152
I'm in a giving mood.
35
00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:27,323
Now I'm going
to get ready for my date.
36
00:01:27,325 --> 00:01:29,359
* La, la, la, la, la *
37
00:01:29,361 --> 00:01:30,725
All right, what do you think's
wrong with her?
38
00:01:30,845 --> 00:01:31,910
- A head injury.
- Mannequin.
39
00:01:32,030 --> 00:01:34,464
Daddy issues.
40
00:01:35,124 --> 00:01:36,625
Welcome to the dungeon,
41
00:01:36,627 --> 00:01:39,194
where we put all our
un-integratable criminals.
42
00:01:39,196 --> 00:01:41,629
Think about me at night.
[Laughs]
43
00:01:41,631 --> 00:01:42,630
[Spits]
44
00:01:42,632 --> 00:01:44,099
No spitting, Dickhead.
45
00:01:44,101 --> 00:01:48,436
You got a little, uh,
spooge on your face.
46
00:01:48,438 --> 00:01:50,472
Here's your new client.
47
00:01:50,474 --> 00:01:52,640
I'm officially releasing him
into your custody.
48
00:01:52,642 --> 00:01:54,242
Hello, Jerry.
49
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:56,010
I want you to know
50
00:01:56,012 --> 00:01:59,948
that you're very important to me.
51
00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:02,250
I see the healing's already begun.
52
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,885
[Laughs]
53
00:02:03,887 --> 00:02:06,621
I believe a lot of you
are already familiar
54
00:02:06,623 --> 00:02:07,688
with our newest member.
55
00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:09,991
So welcome back, Jerry.
56
00:02:09,993 --> 00:02:12,994
Uh, teacher, permission to squish Jerry.
57
00:02:12,996 --> 00:02:14,796
Nobody's squishing anyone.
58
00:02:14,798 --> 00:02:16,498
Yeah, well, I'll be sure to look up
59
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:19,635
your little nephew Blago
next time I'm in Zagreb.
60
00:02:19,637 --> 00:02:23,772
No, Blago just accepted
to Ballet Barn of Croatia.
61
00:02:23,774 --> 00:02:26,308
Nothing's going to happen to Blago.
62
00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,577
Jerry is just blowing off some steam.
63
00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:33,014
Must be hard to be so small
in such a big world.
64
00:02:33,016 --> 00:02:34,616
I love being small.
65
00:02:34,618 --> 00:02:37,285
Do you have any idea
how big asses look to me?
66
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:40,421
But there has to be
some reason you're this angry.
67
00:02:40,423 --> 00:02:42,590
Yeah, 'cause it's fun.
68
00:02:42,592 --> 00:02:44,225
Get mad, everyone.
[Laughs]
69
00:02:44,227 --> 00:02:45,793
It's better than sex.
70
00:02:45,795 --> 00:02:46,818
[Glass shatters]
[Grunts]
71
00:02:46,938 --> 00:02:49,029
He's right.
That is a rush.
72
00:02:49,031 --> 00:02:50,665
[Screams]
73
00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:51,999
[Both grunt]
74
00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:54,135
[Moans] Fish fury!
75
00:02:54,137 --> 00:02:58,172
It feels so good to let this out!
76
00:02:58,174 --> 00:02:59,374
Big surprise.
77
00:02:59,376 --> 00:03:01,943
Jerry started a riot.
78
00:03:01,945 --> 00:03:03,544
You want to go back to the dungeon.
79
00:03:03,546 --> 00:03:05,980
I hear that penis guy
is looking for a cell mate.
80
00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:07,014
He emailed me.
81
00:03:07,016 --> 00:03:09,350
All right, all right, you win.
82
00:03:09,352 --> 00:03:10,818
I'll talk to you
83
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:13,020
if you take me to the Yankee game.
84
00:03:13,022 --> 00:03:15,122
Baseball fan, huh?
85
00:03:15,124 --> 00:03:17,690
Oh, sure, take
the hardened criminal to a game.
86
00:03:17,692 --> 00:03:19,159
It's not like your buddy Grimes
87
00:03:19,161 --> 00:03:21,827
would enjoy a day
at the ballpark sometime.
88
00:03:23,764 --> 00:03:25,498
What's the deal with security?
89
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,567
These tickets are a settlement
from a slip and fall
90
00:03:27,569 --> 00:03:29,235
I ran on the Steinbrenners.
91
00:03:29,237 --> 00:03:31,371
These guys are here to make sure
I don't do it again.
92
00:03:31,373 --> 00:03:32,705
Watch.
93
00:03:32,707 --> 00:03:34,741
Ha-ha.
They have to do that ever time.
94
00:03:34,743 --> 00:03:37,377
Right, uh, we'll grab hot dogs
and meet you at the seats.
95
00:03:37,379 --> 00:03:39,379
Don't forget the kraut.
96
00:03:40,214 --> 00:03:41,381
Twayne?
97
00:03:41,383 --> 00:03:42,882
Hey, Mark.
98
00:03:42,884 --> 00:03:45,085
Be back in two shakes, angel bunny.
99
00:03:45,087 --> 00:03:47,587
I'll pray for you until you return.
100
00:03:47,589 --> 00:03:49,289
Our father who art in heaven...
101
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:53,594
Wow, Emily sure is religious.
102
00:03:53,596 --> 00:03:56,597
Yeah, nobody's perfect,
but I still think she's the one.
103
00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:58,465
Tomorrow night, I'm gonna ask her
104
00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:01,135
if she'd do me the honor of kissing me
105
00:04:01,137 --> 00:04:02,770
on the lips.
106
00:04:02,772 --> 00:04:05,539
A woman like that would never
kiss a creep like you.
107
00:04:05,541 --> 00:04:07,775
Your face looks like a blood blister.
108
00:04:07,777 --> 00:04:10,043
I was born with this complexion.
109
00:04:10,045 --> 00:04:11,344
Jerry, knock it off.
110
00:04:11,346 --> 00:04:13,613
Sorry, Twayne.
Have fun on your date.
111
00:04:13,615 --> 00:04:16,582
I can't believe
that goddess is with him.
112
00:04:16,584 --> 00:04:18,317
Yeah, it's possible she's doing this
113
00:04:18,319 --> 00:04:19,785
on some kind of a dare,
114
00:04:19,787 --> 00:04:21,120
but I'm gonna stick with head injury.
115
00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:22,755
Batter, batter, batter!
116
00:04:22,757 --> 00:04:24,223
[Crowd shouting]
117
00:04:24,225 --> 00:04:25,324
Ah!
118
00:04:25,326 --> 00:04:26,492
Hey, Ump,
119
00:04:26,494 --> 00:04:28,627
I'm gonna bang your wife.
120
00:04:28,629 --> 00:04:31,063
The best part is, she won't
even know I'm in there.
121
00:04:31,065 --> 00:04:32,764
Boom!
[Laughs]
122
00:04:32,766 --> 00:04:34,966
You know, Jerry,
when I was in tenth grade,
123
00:04:34,968 --> 00:04:36,401
I was only 3'8".
124
00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:38,671
So I know what it's like to be small,
125
00:04:38,673 --> 00:04:40,272
to feel small.
126
00:04:40,274 --> 00:04:41,808
[Laughs]
127
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:44,143
How come you never told me that.
128
00:04:44,145 --> 00:04:45,879
That's at least six months
of short jokes
129
00:04:45,881 --> 00:04:46,913
you've robbed me of,
130
00:04:46,915 --> 00:04:48,615
you short piece of [bleep].
131
00:04:48,617 --> 00:04:50,246
Hey, why don't you shut your mouth,
132
00:04:50,366 --> 00:04:51,651
you filthy degenerate?
133
00:04:51,653 --> 00:04:54,487
You're only here
because of my criminal fraud,
134
00:04:54,489 --> 00:04:56,122
so show some respect.
135
00:04:56,124 --> 00:04:57,990
Oh, yeah, great seats.
136
00:04:57,992 --> 00:05:00,693
The players look like me from here.
137
00:05:00,695 --> 00:05:02,261
I'm sorry, dude.
138
00:05:02,263 --> 00:05:03,963
By all means,
let's get you a better view...
139
00:05:03,965 --> 00:05:05,230
of the sun!
140
00:05:05,232 --> 00:05:07,366
Come on, Randall.
Take it easy.
141
00:05:07,368 --> 00:05:10,168
Jerry's pent-up rage
is probably the result
142
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:12,938
of some kind
of larva-hood trauma.
143
00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:15,441
You know, most counselors
are walking turds,
144
00:05:15,443 --> 00:05:18,310
but you actually seem to care,
145
00:05:18,312 --> 00:05:19,644
unlike daddy.
146
00:05:19,646 --> 00:05:21,179
Jackpot.
147
00:05:21,181 --> 00:05:23,615
I was an orphan,
148
00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:27,852
forced into a foster home
with a normal-sized drunk.
149
00:05:27,854 --> 00:05:30,822
He'd get wasted
and then try and drown me
150
00:05:30,824 --> 00:05:32,824
in a can of old Milwaukee.
151
00:05:32,826 --> 00:05:34,326
[Scoffs]
152
00:05:35,861 --> 00:05:39,163
Jerry the foul-mouthed
douche bag arsonist is dead.
153
00:05:39,165 --> 00:05:40,431
[All cheer]
154
00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:42,099
Let me be the first to introduce
155
00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:45,703
Jerry the emotionally open sweetheart.
156
00:05:45,705 --> 00:05:47,004
[All groan]
157
00:05:47,006 --> 00:05:49,741
My behavior was inappropriate.
158
00:05:49,743 --> 00:05:52,210
But now, with Mark's help,
159
00:05:52,212 --> 00:05:54,880
I've got a handle on my anger issues.
160
00:05:54,882 --> 00:05:56,278
I call bull crap.
161
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,350
He just doesn't want
to go back to the dungeon.
162
00:05:58,352 --> 00:06:00,928
Then why would he hand over
163
00:06:01,048 --> 00:06:04,255
the arson tools
he's hid all over the city.
164
00:06:04,257 --> 00:06:05,490
I'm impressed.
165
00:06:05,492 --> 00:06:06,991
For the first time,
166
00:06:06,993 --> 00:06:09,594
I think therapy might have
actually helped someone.
167
00:06:09,596 --> 00:06:11,529
In light of Jerry's rehabilitation,
168
00:06:11,531 --> 00:06:14,365
I recommend we release him
on probation.
169
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:16,367
Love is so beautiful.
170
00:06:16,369 --> 00:06:17,535
So ordered.
171
00:06:17,537 --> 00:06:20,137
[Dramatic music]
172
00:06:20,139 --> 00:06:21,605
- Stop right there.
- Huh?
173
00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:23,908
I have proof that Jerry's a fraud
174
00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:25,476
and Mark's an idiot.
175
00:06:25,478 --> 00:06:27,344
This Ant Man's not an orphan.
176
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:29,480
I took a little trip
to the Hall of Records.
177
00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:31,449
His old man was a Lutheran minister,
178
00:06:31,451 --> 00:06:32,550
not a drunk.
179
00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,151
But we had a breakthrough.
180
00:06:34,153 --> 00:06:36,687
Oh, tell me this isn't true, Jerry.
181
00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,036
Jerry?
182
00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:39,606
There he is.
183
00:06:39,726 --> 00:06:41,159
On Twayne's face!
[Gasps]
184
00:06:41,161 --> 00:06:43,761
Any of you losers
try to come after me,
185
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:47,031
I'll burn this mother[bleep]
to the ground from the inside!
186
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:47,999
[Laughs]
187
00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:49,267
No, no!
No!
188
00:06:49,269 --> 00:06:50,568
No!
189
00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:51,769
Well, my job's done here.
190
00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:53,304
Hey, you guys want to get some lunch?
191
00:06:53,306 --> 00:06:54,471
Twayne, lunch?
192
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,018
Once I shrink us in the moon buggy,
193
00:06:59,020 --> 00:07:01,254
we're gonna need
a crap-load of firepower
194
00:07:01,256 --> 00:07:02,789
to bring Jerry down.
195
00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:04,425
I need you to keep digging
for more information
196
00:07:04,545 --> 00:07:05,466
on Jerry's background.
197
00:07:05,586 --> 00:07:08,427
I'll do your dirty work,
after a quick wank.
198
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,507
Look, I'd consider it a personal favor
199
00:07:10,627 --> 00:07:11,270
if you went with him.
200
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,165
Sometimes those quick wanks,
201
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,767
they can turn into wank-a-thons.
202
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:16,335
Ugh.
203
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:19,959
[Groans]
204
00:07:20,079 --> 00:07:22,641
The shrinking spell lasts eight hours.
205
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,511
So we'll have to get out before
we grow back to normal size
206
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:28,141
or it's--gah--
for Twayne.
207
00:07:28,261 --> 00:07:30,451
Wait, tonight's my big date.
208
00:07:30,453 --> 00:07:32,953
And what did that thing
with your hand mean?
209
00:07:32,955 --> 00:07:35,689
[Shimmering tone]
210
00:07:35,691 --> 00:07:37,791
Try to lea a small footprint.
211
00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:38,792
[Sniffs]
212
00:07:38,794 --> 00:07:40,861
Ah...Ah...
213
00:07:40,863 --> 00:07:42,296
Choo!
214
00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:43,897
Snot storm!
215
00:07:43,899 --> 00:07:45,666
Hang on!
216
00:07:49,209 --> 00:07:50,471
Twayne's gullet.
217
00:07:50,473 --> 00:07:52,840
Jerry had to go down there.
218
00:07:52,842 --> 00:07:55,509
Good thing I brought the winch
to lower us down.
219
00:07:55,511 --> 00:07:57,511
Let's hammer in that tethering spike.
220
00:07:57,513 --> 00:07:59,847
[Grunts]
[Twayne screams]
221
00:07:59,849 --> 00:08:01,549
That's right,
hammer it in nice and hard.
222
00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:02,650
[Grunts]
223
00:08:02,652 --> 00:08:05,854
[Twayne screams]
224
00:08:05,856 --> 00:08:08,056
Jesus, it is hot in here.
225
00:08:08,058 --> 00:08:10,158
Every demon's insides are unique.
226
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,351
Twayne seems to have his own sun.
227
00:08:13,898 --> 00:08:15,931
By my calculations,
228
00:08:15,933 --> 00:08:19,101
one hour of time outside Twayne
229
00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:22,404
equals one day inside Twayne.
230
00:08:22,406 --> 00:08:25,501
So we have eight Twayne days
before he have to get out.
231
00:08:25,621 --> 00:08:27,120
Shut your information hole.
232
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,844
Let's hike up the gall bladder
233
00:08:28,846 --> 00:08:30,412
to get the lay of the land.
234
00:08:30,414 --> 00:08:32,000
- Ah!
- A net!
235
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,216
What's a net doing down here?
236
00:08:37,052 --> 00:08:38,052
[Groans]
237
00:08:38,054 --> 00:08:39,854
Greetings, friends.
238
00:08:39,856 --> 00:08:42,124
We mean you no harm.
239
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:44,527
[Gibberish]
240
00:08:44,529 --> 00:08:46,198
Classic Twayne.
241
00:08:47,289 --> 00:08:49,483
Yeah, I was Jerry's cellmate
for a year.
242
00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:51,501
But I'm not telling you nothing.
243
00:08:51,503 --> 00:08:53,069
He's a straight-up psycho.
244
00:08:53,071 --> 00:08:55,438
We're prepared to shove drugs
up your ass
245
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,822
and frame you for possession.
246
00:08:56,942 --> 00:08:58,311
All right, all right.
247
00:08:58,431 --> 00:09:01,345
Jerry, he started writing
to someone on the outside,
248
00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:03,580
but never got a chance
to mail this one.
249
00:09:03,582 --> 00:09:04,676
It's too small to open.
250
00:09:04,796 --> 00:09:06,150
We'll have to take it to the lab.
251
00:09:06,152 --> 00:09:08,452
I guess bad things also come
252
00:09:08,454 --> 00:09:10,154
in small packages.
253
00:09:10,156 --> 00:09:11,589
[Electric guitar riff]
254
00:09:14,392 --> 00:09:16,927
[Gibberish]
255
00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:20,097
I'm just going to cast
a translation spell.
256
00:09:20,099 --> 00:09:21,765
[Shimmering tone]
257
00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,234
Welcome.
258
00:09:23,236 --> 00:09:25,035
I apologize for your rough treatment.
259
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:28,606
My people have never seen
such ugly beings before.
260
00:09:28,608 --> 00:09:30,274
Please, please, please join me
261
00:09:30,276 --> 00:09:32,476
and my only daughter,
Princess Chlamydia,
262
00:09:32,478 --> 00:09:35,112
for our additional welcome ritual.
263
00:09:35,114 --> 00:09:37,815
We would be honored,
Princess Chlamydia.
264
00:09:37,817 --> 00:09:41,085
I'm not sure her name's
actually Chlamydia.
265
00:09:41,087 --> 00:09:44,288
The translation spell
has problems with proper nouns.
266
00:09:44,290 --> 00:09:46,924
Mmm, tastes like onions.
267
00:09:46,926 --> 00:09:48,492
I love onions.
268
00:09:49,895 --> 00:09:51,963
* Ooh-ka, ooh-ka,
ooh-ka, ooh-ka... *
269
00:09:51,965 --> 00:09:53,130
[Groans]
270
00:09:53,132 --> 00:09:55,133
Twayne, honey, what's wrong?
271
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:58,536
Ooh, my stomach's
just a little grumbly.
272
00:09:58,538 --> 00:10:01,213
[Groans]
I'll be fine if I eat something.
273
00:10:03,175 --> 00:10:04,608
Huh?
274
00:10:04,610 --> 00:10:06,209
Look out!
275
00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:09,379
It's a flood
of chewed-up shrimp cocktail!
276
00:10:09,381 --> 00:10:10,947
I'll save you, princess!
277
00:10:10,949 --> 00:10:13,549
Ah!
278
00:10:13,551 --> 00:10:15,852
[Laughs]
279
00:10:15,854 --> 00:10:18,555
This village was strategically built
280
00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:20,157
to avoid the food slides.
281
00:10:20,159 --> 00:10:22,760
Come, let us see
what the gods have sent.
282
00:10:22,762 --> 00:10:25,997
Chief, we're here to capture
a very dangerous man.
283
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:27,732
We don't know a lot about this place,
284
00:10:27,734 --> 00:10:29,367
and we could use your help.
285
00:10:29,369 --> 00:10:32,003
Yes, yes, we will help you,
Lesbian Hair.
286
00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:35,103
But first, you must
learn the ways of our tribe.
287
00:10:35,223 --> 00:10:37,842
All must respect this sacred land.
288
00:10:37,844 --> 00:10:41,012
[Rumbling]
289
00:10:41,014 --> 00:10:44,415
Yes, very sacred.
290
00:10:44,417 --> 00:10:49,353
Whoa, oh!
291
00:10:49,355 --> 00:10:51,422
Gah!
292
00:10:51,424 --> 00:10:53,190
[Moans]
293
00:10:55,293 --> 00:10:57,361
Both: Mmm.
294
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,035
Of what do you think, Lesbian Hair?
295
00:11:04,037 --> 00:11:06,605
I always wanted to help those in need,
296
00:11:06,607 --> 00:11:09,135
but now I think maybe Grimes is right.
297
00:11:09,255 --> 00:11:12,579
Maybe counseling is all just bull poo.
298
00:11:12,581 --> 00:11:14,181
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
299
00:11:14,183 --> 00:11:16,850
There is much pain in you,
Lesbian Hair.
300
00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:21,488
You must journey to the special
place to exercise these demons.
301
00:11:21,608 --> 00:11:23,557
This looks like a sweat gland.
302
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:24,725
Ah!
303
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,816
Let your mind go where it will.
304
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,763
Hey, I don't think
there's much oxygen in here.
305
00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:31,441
Help!
306
00:11:34,937 --> 00:11:36,470
Mmm.
307
00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:37,471
[Gasps]
308
00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:38,806
Even though this is
309
00:11:38,808 --> 00:11:41,075
a dehydration-induced
hallucination,
310
00:11:41,077 --> 00:11:43,411
it still makes you kind of gay.
311
00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:45,413
Ah!
312
00:11:45,415 --> 00:11:47,449
Hey, Mark,
while you're inside my body,
313
00:11:47,451 --> 00:11:50,252
do you think you can figure out
why I fart so much?
314
00:11:50,254 --> 00:11:53,188
I upped my fiber intake,
but it isn't working.
315
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,624
[Screams]
316
00:11:55,626 --> 00:11:58,694
Oh, you can't give up on me, Mark.
317
00:11:58,696 --> 00:12:00,022
I don't want to.
318
00:12:00,142 --> 00:12:03,298
But I need to know how
to get through to you, Jerry.
319
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:04,700
I'd love to tell you,
320
00:12:04,702 --> 00:12:07,569
but I'm a figment of your own psyche.
321
00:12:07,571 --> 00:12:10,072
That's why my junk is Callie's face.
322
00:12:10,074 --> 00:12:12,208
Okay, this is totally unacceptable.
323
00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:14,109
Hallucination over.
324
00:12:14,111 --> 00:12:16,378
Help me, Mark Lilly.
325
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,848
You're my only hope.
326
00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:20,383
[Grunts]
327
00:12:20,385 --> 00:12:22,383
[Coughs]
328
00:12:22,503 --> 00:12:24,555
I can still save Jerry.
329
00:12:24,557 --> 00:12:25,616
It's my destiny.
330
00:12:25,717 --> 00:12:26,883
Who gives a crap?
331
00:12:26,885 --> 00:12:28,363
I'm getting married.
332
00:12:28,483 --> 00:12:31,055
I'd like you to be my best man
and my spirit animal.
333
00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:32,089
It's a wallaby.
334
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,708
You know we're
gonna have to leave here
335
00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,060
in three days/hours?
336
00:12:36,062 --> 00:12:38,229
Can't you just let me
experience happiness
337
00:12:38,231 --> 00:12:40,230
for one goddamn minute?
338
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:46,035
It appears to be a love letter
to an exotic dancer named
339
00:12:46,037 --> 00:12:47,069
Portia.
340
00:12:47,071 --> 00:12:48,571
Can you make out an address
341
00:12:48,573 --> 00:12:50,406
under the tiny semen stains?
342
00:12:50,408 --> 00:12:53,576
Yes, the Boob Factory?
343
00:12:53,578 --> 00:12:55,278
Oh, sure, the Boob Factory.
344
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,280
That's on 28th Street,
between 10th and 11th.
345
00:12:57,282 --> 00:13:01,718
Looks like we're gonna have
to take a Porsche for a ride.
346
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,754
Would you please stop doing that?
347
00:13:04,756 --> 00:13:07,223
Today we gather to join this man
348
00:13:07,225 --> 00:13:10,125
and this talking bit
of stomach bacteria
349
00:13:10,127 --> 00:13:12,227
together in holy matrimony.
350
00:13:12,229 --> 00:13:16,832
Does Lesbian Hair have
the matrimonial scrotum bands?
351
00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:18,435
You must attach them.
352
00:13:18,437 --> 00:13:20,170
I did not sign up for this.
353
00:13:20,172 --> 00:13:24,640
Okay, submit, Lesbian Hair.
354
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,275
[Grunts]
355
00:13:26,277 --> 00:13:27,310
[Moans]
356
00:13:27,312 --> 00:13:28,311
[Groans]
357
00:13:28,313 --> 00:13:29,813
I now pronounce you
358
00:13:29,815 --> 00:13:32,582
husband and germ.
359
00:13:32,584 --> 00:13:34,518
You may kiss the germ.
360
00:13:35,753 --> 00:13:37,154
[All cheering]
361
00:13:37,156 --> 00:13:39,756
I told you not to follow me!
362
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:40,924
Ugh!
363
00:13:40,926 --> 00:13:44,094
[All screaming]
364
00:13:45,831 --> 00:13:47,631
Sweetie, did you know there's smoke
365
00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:50,434
coming out of your eyes, ears,
nose, mouth, and pants?
366
00:13:50,436 --> 00:13:54,304
Oh, this always happens
when I drink too much coffee.
367
00:13:57,075 --> 00:13:59,810
I will not live to see another sunset,
368
00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:01,846
but I die happy,
369
00:14:01,848 --> 00:14:06,518
having seen my daughter
marry a great warrior.
370
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,087
All I ask
371
00:14:08,089 --> 00:14:12,826
is that the last image I see
is not Lesbian Hair.
372
00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:14,561
Too late.
373
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,028
No!
374
00:14:16,030 --> 00:14:17,830
You'll pay for this, Jerry.
375
00:14:17,832 --> 00:14:19,699
You'll pay with your life.
376
00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:21,467
I know this is a bad time,
377
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,870
but is there any way
to apply for a new name?
378
00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:28,142
Be careful, my love.
379
00:14:28,144 --> 00:14:31,045
You're the only family
I have left now.
380
00:14:31,047 --> 00:14:33,481
You are the hottest piece of bacteria
381
00:14:33,483 --> 00:14:36,208
east of the pre-cancerous spot
on Twayne's liver.
382
00:14:39,956 --> 00:14:42,523
When are you gonna tell her
that we're leaving?
383
00:14:42,525 --> 00:14:44,325
- I'm staying.
- Are you nuts?
384
00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:48,061
When we grow, you'll kill Twayne
and destroy her village.
385
00:14:48,063 --> 00:14:49,963
Stop confusing me with your logic.
386
00:14:49,965 --> 00:14:51,598
Ah!
Lookout!
387
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,665
[Ticking]
388
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,835
[All scream]
389
00:14:57,305 --> 00:14:59,873
You dicked with the wrong ant man.
390
00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:00,874
[Growls]
391
00:15:00,876 --> 00:15:02,943
Hyah, horse creature!
392
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,188
Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.
393
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:15,157
I'm mocking you from far away!
[Cackles]
394
00:15:15,159 --> 00:15:16,726
Oh, that's painful.
395
00:15:16,728 --> 00:15:17,960
Ah! Now itchy.
396
00:15:17,962 --> 00:15:19,795
Ah! Now back to painful.
397
00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:22,198
I can't wait to see what
you have in store for me next,
398
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,801
you big red romantic.
399
00:15:24,803 --> 00:15:26,402
[Groans]
400
00:15:27,972 --> 00:15:29,672
Have you ever seen this guy?
401
00:15:29,674 --> 00:15:31,975
Yeah, tough guy.
402
00:15:31,977 --> 00:15:34,077
Totally obsessed with Portia.
403
00:15:34,079 --> 00:15:35,212
'Bout this big?
404
00:15:35,214 --> 00:15:36,613
Oh, that's him all right.
405
00:15:36,615 --> 00:15:37,914
You got a picture of this Portia?
406
00:15:37,916 --> 00:15:39,716
Here she is last Forth of July
407
00:15:39,718 --> 00:15:42,619
at our red, white, and boob
celebration.
408
00:15:42,621 --> 00:15:45,722
Looks like Jerry is both a boob man
409
00:15:45,724 --> 00:15:47,891
and a boob himself.
410
00:15:47,893 --> 00:15:50,394
Oh, my God, you're right.
That is annoying.
411
00:15:52,497 --> 00:15:55,099
I just took a dump
in Twayne's motor cortex.
412
00:15:55,101 --> 00:15:58,770
I'd give it a few minutes
before going back there.
413
00:15:58,772 --> 00:16:01,038
We only have 45 minutes left
414
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,807
before we grow back to full size,
415
00:16:02,809 --> 00:16:04,808
so we'll have to get by
on ten minutes' sleep,
416
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:06,010
not a full night's 20.
417
00:16:06,012 --> 00:16:08,412
[Grunts]
418
00:16:08,414 --> 00:16:10,014
Mm, cozy.
419
00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:11,716
Cozy.
420
00:16:11,718 --> 00:16:13,084
[Moans]
421
00:16:13,086 --> 00:16:15,386
Yo!
Two divided by seven.
422
00:16:15,388 --> 00:16:16,587
[Cell phone rings]
423
00:16:16,589 --> 00:16:18,366
Hello, Callie?
424
00:16:18,486 --> 00:16:21,359
Wow, can't believe how great the
reception is in Twayne's head.
425
00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:22,427
Four bars.
426
00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:24,163
Congratulations, dork.
427
00:16:24,165 --> 00:16:26,165
Randall and I have important news.
428
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:27,600
It turns out that Jerry's
429
00:16:27,602 --> 00:16:30,002
obsessed with a stripper names Portia,
430
00:16:30,004 --> 00:16:32,204
who's actually...
431
00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:35,240
Sweet marshmallow.
432
00:16:35,242 --> 00:16:36,975
It all makes sense now.
433
00:16:38,678 --> 00:16:39,778
Callie, I'll call you later.
434
00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,146
Thanks for everything.
435
00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:46,252
Must be nice to see Portia again.
436
00:16:46,254 --> 00:16:47,753
How do you know her stripper name?
437
00:16:47,755 --> 00:16:49,422
Have your hands been on her tits?
438
00:16:49,424 --> 00:16:50,890
I'll kill you!
439
00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:53,726
How I know who she is isn't important.
440
00:16:53,728 --> 00:16:57,630
What is important
is why you risked everything
441
00:16:57,632 --> 00:16:58,631
to see her again.
442
00:16:58,633 --> 00:16:59,983
Huh?
443
00:17:02,403 --> 00:17:04,437
I fell for her before I met her.
444
00:17:04,439 --> 00:17:05,938
She wrote me in prison.
445
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:07,774
Filthy, perverted prose.
446
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:11,077
As sown as I got out, I went
straight to the Boob Factory.
447
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:13,513
She almost killed
me with those lap dances.
448
00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:15,081
She loved baseball,
449
00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:17,650
so we went to a Yankee game
for our first date.
450
00:17:17,652 --> 00:17:19,585
Well, actually, I'm the baseball fan.
451
00:17:19,587 --> 00:17:21,454
She just wanted to bang Derek Jeter.
452
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:23,789
I went straight for her.
453
00:17:23,791 --> 00:17:26,125
I only asked that she stop stripping.
454
00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:29,795
But then one night, she came
home in that whore uniform.
455
00:17:29,797 --> 00:17:31,497
She said she'd
been out with the girls,
456
00:17:31,499 --> 00:17:35,099
but I dusted her ass for fingerprints.
457
00:17:35,101 --> 00:17:36,802
I stopped counting after discovering
458
00:17:36,804 --> 00:17:38,837
the 20th different set.
459
00:17:38,839 --> 00:17:41,540
I knew then
she'd never give up the pole.
460
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:44,476
That was the end of good Jerry.
461
00:17:44,478 --> 00:17:48,180
When I found out that she
changed for that loser Twayne,
462
00:17:48,182 --> 00:17:49,181
it drove me crazy.
463
00:17:49,183 --> 00:17:50,883
I mean, why not for me?
464
00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:54,954
Did you ever think
maybe she hasn't changed?
465
00:17:54,956 --> 00:17:56,890
Huh?
466
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:02,095
She just ripped him off.
467
00:18:02,097 --> 00:18:03,930
She's pullin' a con.
468
00:18:03,932 --> 00:18:07,067
She takes advantage
of vulnerable men, Jerry.
469
00:18:07,069 --> 00:18:08,802
She did the same to you.
470
00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:11,705
You're so angry at the world
because of your size.
471
00:18:11,707 --> 00:18:14,275
But there are plenty of people
out there willing to embrace
472
00:18:14,277 --> 00:18:17,777
a height-challenged
insect American.
473
00:18:17,779 --> 00:18:19,379
You're right.
474
00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:22,181
I deserve to be happy.
475
00:18:22,183 --> 00:18:24,716
And I deserve better than her.
476
00:18:24,718 --> 00:18:27,252
You did it, Mr. Lilly.
Thank you.
477
00:18:27,254 --> 00:18:29,587
I'll, of course, turn myself in now.
478
00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:31,551
Ah-ow!
479
00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:32,773
Grimes!
480
00:18:32,893 --> 00:18:34,088
What have you done?
481
00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:37,311
Man, anyone who says revenge
is an empty experience,
482
00:18:37,431 --> 00:18:39,065
doesn't know
what they're talking about.
483
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:40,433
Blah!
484
00:18:40,435 --> 00:18:41,734
I feel great.
485
00:18:41,736 --> 00:18:44,371
Thanks for caring, Mark.
486
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,540
You're a good counselor.
487
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,876
And I'm dead.
488
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,973
Guess I was wrong.
489
00:18:50,093 --> 00:18:52,113
Your job isn't complete bull[bleep].
490
00:18:52,115 --> 00:18:53,114
Thanks, Grimes.
491
00:18:53,116 --> 00:18:54,749
Now, if you would,
492
00:18:54,751 --> 00:18:57,419
please help me bury him
in Twayne's sinus cavity.
493
00:18:58,648 --> 00:19:01,933
We're sorry for the terrible loss
you've experienced, but
494
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:07,107
the ant man was first brilliantly reformed
and then brutally killed, so
495
00:19:07,227 --> 00:19:09,113
your village is stably safe now.
496
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:14,170
Please accept the crown of heroes,
Lesbian Hair.
497
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:17,948
So elegant. Must be woven
from Twayne's nerve fibers.
498
00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:20,810
It's actually dried sperm cells.
499
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:22,905
A tribal delicacy.
500
00:19:23,128 --> 00:19:25,439
Take a bite so you don't offend her.
501
00:19:25,673 --> 00:19:29,110
Mm, do you have any pepper?
502
00:19:29,344 --> 00:19:32,288
- Crap, we're already starting to grow.
- We've gotta go.
503
00:19:32,408 --> 00:19:34,916
- Now!
- Come with, babe.
504
00:19:35,036 --> 00:19:38,697
I'm sorry, but my people need a leader.
505
00:19:38,817 --> 00:19:41,536
We must reveal to our way of life.
506
00:19:41,656 --> 00:19:43,806
But we never got to do it.
507
00:19:43,926 --> 00:19:46,889
We'll never know how weird our
offspring will look.
508
00:19:47,009 --> 00:19:48,580
We'd better head for the nearest exist.
509
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,903
That would be the asshole.
510
00:19:52,663 --> 00:19:55,443
Okay, it's now or never.
511
00:19:55,563 --> 00:19:59,068
Try not to think about all the people
inside you, Twayne-o.
512
00:20:00,195 --> 00:20:01,485
Emily...
513
00:20:01,605 --> 00:20:04,699
I'd like to take our relationship
to the next level.
514
00:20:05,164 --> 00:20:07,193
- In the next 15 seconds.
- Shh.
515
00:20:07,744 --> 00:20:09,504
Stop talking.
516
00:20:09,624 --> 00:20:11,398
And start kissing.
517
00:20:11,518 --> 00:20:14,120
Oh, God, oh, here it comes.
518
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,689
Please don't judge me for what's
about to happen.
519
00:20:18,894 --> 00:20:19,950
Holy shit.
520
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,721
I wanna go back. I love you, baby.
521
00:20:25,821 --> 00:20:30,534
My *** way of putting us and
our relationship to the test.
522
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,825
Uuh, baby,
523
00:20:32,945 --> 00:20:36,157
***.
524
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:39,141
Mm, you're making my flinker bonks.
525
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:40,525
Lemme screw up.
526
00:20:40,645 --> 00:20:42,976
We need time to regroup.
527
00:20:43,223 --> 00:20:45,077
I'll wait for you, baby.
528
00:20:45,528 --> 00:20:49,200
But on the rare occasions,
when we pass with flying colors,
529
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:53,031
you have to take the time
to enjoy the moment.
530
00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:57,715
Uuh, I liked that more
than I thought I would.
531
00:21:09,861 --> 00:21:16,239
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
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